Exploring Communication with the Perplexing Other - When Introverts and Extraverts Collide

Editor's Notes

• #2: With the publishing of Susan Cain’s book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, introversion has become a hot topic. Yet, misunderstandings between introverts and extraverts are still incredibly common. At best, these misunderstandings are perplexing, and at worst they lead to tense and hostile interactions. In this Webinar, we will explore the “other,” learning to put ourselves in each other’s shoes and become at least a little less perplexed and frustrated. This Webinar is for both introverts and extraverts and will include both humorous and serious examples of miscommunications. You will walk away with tools for perspective-shifting, a newfound appreciation for the “other,” and a better understanding of how to prevent destructive misunderstandings.
• #6: Note: I am using the original spelling of extravert, from the Psychology literature, in order to punctuate the difference between how these terms are often used in the world at large versus the actual personality/temperament differences that psychologists mean by introversion/extraversion. Although there are a number of different definitions for introversion and extraversion, even in the psychology literature, most agree on one thing: introverts recharge by carving out some alone-time and extraverts recharge by interacting with people. Another point of agreement is that introverts and extraverts differ in their preferred levels of stimulation, novelty, and comfort with risk. Introverts generally prefer lower levels of stimulation (sights, sounds, smells, etc), are hesitant to seek out novel experiences, and tend to minimize risk. Extraverts, on the other hand, tend to prefer higher levels of stimulation, often chase after novel experiences, and take higher risks (what Susan Cain calls “outsized risks”).
• #7: As a point of distinction and clarification, I would like to point out that shyness is not the same thing as introversion. I’m going to use Susan Cain’s explanation of shyness because I think it captures the concept well: Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation; therefore, shyness is inherently painful (Cain, p.31?) Not all introverts are shy and not all extraverts are socially confident.
• #26: You only have control over your own behavior, and you only know your own thoughts and feelings, so to work towards resolving a misunderstanding you have to start with yourself. This is the most difficult and most important step in creating better communication moving forward. Share impact and ask questions about intentions
• #30: Handout!!! 