How To Easily Talk To Anybody
- 3. Whatever You Call it.. • Perhaps you call it “uncertainty”, or maybe you pass the moment off because it “just doesn't seem right”. However you jus?fy it though, it is one or another form of fear that is presen?ng itself and stopping you. • It could be the worry about what other people might think. It may be concern about looking stupid or making a mistake. Or it could be fear of rejec?on. AEer all, you're not holding back because you're worried people will accept you with open arms are you?
- 4. • What Exactly Is Fear? Fear is your emo?onal response to a situa?on that is happening or that you imagine might happen. It's a personal response: aEer all, if two people are in the exact same situa?on only one may experience fear. Fear can also be associated with the prehistoric part of your brain, such that when it takes over, your fight or flight response is triggered. • Most things you fear in everyday life are not really life threatening at all, but this makes liOle difference to the prehistoric part of your brain. Whether the fear is triggered when you are asked to stand up and do a presenta?on, or when speaking to someone you don't know, or doing something genuinely dangerous, it's all the same to your prehistoric mind.
- 5. Let go of your fear ! • A really good exercise you can do right now is to score the level of fear you currently experience in different situa?ons. • Once you've established a baseline, you can measure your progress when you next take ac?on regardless of the fear or undertake exercises to reduce that fear.
- 6. Mindset – The Biggest Barrier • The biggest poten?al barrier to successful communica?on is you and your mindset. The meaning you aOach to the responses you get will have a huge bearing on how you build your communica?on skills. • You may have heard it said that it's not what happens to you in life – it's the meaning that you aOach to it.
- 7. The curse of ge5ng started.. • Hesita?on kills spontaneity and spontaneity is your friend. Your inner cri?c will try and stop you, but when you see an opportunity to start a new conversa?on just go for it. Put aside the urge to cri?que your opening lines. • Just come out with it, straight away, within the first few seconds. If you over-‐think it, it won't seem natural to you or the person you're connec?ng with.
- 8. • If you're in a restaurant or coffee shop, the best moment to connect with the person next to you is the very moment you sit down. Use that moment to start your conversa?on. • Moving into someone's physical space creates a natural window. It works because generally you're aware when people move into and out of your space. Think about the last ?me it happened to you. You probably briefly disengaged with what you were doing to review your surroundings.
- 9. Physical: Ge5ng Their A=en>on • In any situa?on, once you have the idea or inclina?on to speak to someone you should do so immediately or within five seconds. Otherwise doubts and inner talk can start to put you off.
- 10. Types of Opening Statements • The first thing that is said in any communica?on is called the opening. There are a number of different ways to open a conversa?on: • → Situa?onal • → Observa?onal • → Opinion/advice
- 11. Situa>onal Opening • A situa?onal opening is where you say something based on the situa?on that you and the other person are both in: at a spor?ng event; at a business seminar; at a party. You open with something that relates to your current shared experience.
- 12. Observa>onal Opening • An observa?onal opening is also based on shared experience – this ?me, of an event or incident. It could be something you are doing, wearing or something in the shared environment. • For instance, let's say you've just gone into a shop and outside there was an argument going on between two people. An observa?onal statement could be along the lines of “Did you see those two out there? It was ge_ng preOy fran?c.”
- 13. Opinion Opening.. • OEen an opinion opening is best started by saying something along the lines of, “Excuse me, could I get a quick opinion on something, please?” • The trick here is to flow straight into the opinion you are looking for without wai>ng for them to respond.
- 14. Meet Them Where They Are! • This means you meet them where they are and include a statement about what they are currently doing in your opening comment. • On a subconscious level this basically makes the conversa?on or communica?on more relevant, and real, because the other person agrees exactly with what you said.
- 15. Finally.. • Make it Easier for People to Understand What You're Saying • A LiOle Recogni?on and Apprecia?on Goes a Long Way • Are You Really Listening? The person you are talking to wants to know that you are really listening and engaged with what they are telling you.
- 16. DON’T WAIT..