How To Reduce Your Inner Anger

Learn how to reduce
your inner anger!
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com

Stressing over what another person says can
consume a lot of negative energy.
But we all know that it’s not going to help you or
the other person.
Learn a method to become calmer and have more
energy in life.

“Nobody can hurt
me without my
permission.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

1st
step:
Example:
You are having a meeting, but during the
meeting you didn‘t feel connected to the people
and think the others do not understand you.
When you think about the conversation again
you realize that you used words of self-
defense, justifications, and assignments of
guilt.
Realize when you feel uncomfortable
when someone says something to you.

When interacting with other people, sometimes
a person says things that may trigger certain
reactions in you.
As soon as we are conscious about those
points, we can intervene and re-think our
reactions.

As this process is not always easy, we will
show you how to deal with such unpleasant
circumstances in the 2nd
step.

Give yourself self-empathy.
Identify what just has been said or done,
monitor the situation.
Separate it from your judgments.
Become clear about how you feel about it.
Are there any needs that you wanted to
fulfil with your words and actions?

Example 1:
Leaving office angry:
Feeling the comment was against you.
Let‘s see, if we can
reduce this part of
the meeting to
15 minutes.
interrupting
you

Example 1:
You think: “He interrupted me and thinks that I need
too much time.”
Then you notice that these thoughts are judgments
and not observations. So you start again: “He
interrupted me while I was speaking and said…”
While thinking about your anger you realize that you
feel hurt, because your need of respect and
understanding of the group was not given.
While getting in touch with your needs, you feel
slowly relieved.
Give yourself self-empathy

Example 2:
You are attending a workshop and chitchat and laugh in the beginning.
Then somebody says:
“I don’t feel
comfortable with
you guys
goofing around.
I thought this
workshop is
about a serious
topic.”
What a Grinch!
energy loss
You notice that this words cause
a loss of energy in you and that
you have thoughts like:

Example 2:
You instantly ask yourself which need you wanted to
fulfil.
You wanted to have the freedom to be who you are and
feel good about it, as well as being in company by doing
so.
With this thought you feel how you gain empathy for
yourself and for the other participant.
After you inner change, you could gently talk to the
other person.
Give yourself self-empathy

Change your perspective!
A sentence like: “He made me sad.” has the perspective of:
He has control about me. He can make sure that I am sad. I’m
powerless to feel differently than sad.
Using this language is→ giving up power about your own reactions, your
feelings.
Saying instead:
“When I hear him saying that, I feel sad, because I need
attention.”
You describe your inner feeling about something that is recognized from
the outside.
Using this language expresses that you know why you are sad and→
that his words are just a trigger of your emotion and not the reason itself.

Change your perspective!
The usage of the word
“because” makes me and other
people understand that my
sadness results from my needs
and my interpretation of his
actions and hinders me to give
the fault to the other person.
Other people that observe the
same behavior of him, may have
a different reaction towards it.

Using the technique of self-empathy often can help you
feel physically and emotionally better.
To start practicing self-empathy, an outside support
can be a big help. It can be anyone who helps you
express your observations and identify your feelings
and needs.
Alternatively, you can hire a professional and
experienced Coach to work with you.

Having an experienced Coach helping you has many
benefits. Working with a Coach can help:
- fulfill your need of empathy by
- identifying your feelings and needs, which can
- give you a sense of feeling better.

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How To Reduce Your Inner Anger

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