Humiliation, Shame or Resilience: How to Reach Each of the Ways to Live, According to Analytical Psychology

Mental Health & Human Resilience International Journal
ISSN: 2578-5095
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Committed to Create Value for Researchers
Humiliation, Shame or Resilience: How to Reach Each of the Ways to Live, According to
Analytical Psychology
Ment Health Hum Resilience Int J
Humiliation, Shame or Resilience: How to Reach Each of the Ways
to Live, According to Analytical Psychology
de Souza IA*
Psychologist and Jungian analyst, CG Jung Institute, Switzerland
*Corresponding author: Idalina A de Souza, Psychologist and Jungian analyst, CG Jung
Institute, Zurich, Switzerland, International Association for Analytical Psychology (IAAP),
Switzerland, Email: idalina.souza@yahoo.com.br
Mini Review
Volume 8 Issue 2
Received Date: August 12, 2024
Published Date: August 26, 2024
DOI: 10.23880/mhrij-16000252
Abstract
Bowlby J defines resilience as a person's capacity to modify circumstances according to necessities and priorities. Among the
characteristics of a highly resilient person is the ability to adapt to certain situations that, among others, would be impossible
to live with and could result in withdrawal. Piaget divided behaviours into three groups: Instinct, which is the hereditary
adaptation to situations that are repeated; habit, which is the acquired adaptation to situations that are repeated; intelligence,
which is the adaptation to new and demanding conditions; consequently, a trial and error experience. Considering that, it is
worthwhile to reflect on their basis.
Keywords: Shame; Humiliation; Trauma; Resilience; Revenge; Analytical Psychology
Introduction
Humiliation is one of the most atrocious and traumatic
experiences of a human being. Once it is archetypal, shame
resulting from such an experience is a feeling that can be
reported very similarly by all people who have experienced
such drama in their lives to a greater or lesser extent. The ego
event also inaugurates the human experience of otherness,
with the critical gaze and judgment of the other beginning
to be felt, perceived, and valued. The suffering is profound,
and there is no way to escape from being experienced in its
entirety. It exists, is evident, dramatic, tears the flesh, hurts
the face, produces scars, and exposes. This exposure is one of
the most negative experiences a person can go through [1].
This experience is one of total helplessness. Some report
feeling like they are in a nightmare and can never wake
up. There is no medicine for relief, and the memory of the
episode will remain forever, producing the same feelings.
It is as if there were a wound that purges forever, exposing
the individual more and more and repeatedly. The pain felt
is the same as the first time, and the resulting feelings are
increasingly atrocious in their manifestations. Reactions to
shame were approached under three strands: withdrawal
and its resulting depression, revenge with a high possibility
of criminality and resilience, which is a creative overcoming.
Theoretical studies were made on the constitution
and development of these possibilities [2]. Experiences of
humiliation activate worthlessness complexes, resulting in
neurotic compensatory behaviours. Many people, mainly
children and adolescents, isolate themselves from social
contact, hiding behind masks of coldness, pride and distance.
Embarrassment is also part of the range of emotions.
The reactions can be very diverse, such as blushing,
choking, stuttering, nervous laughter, considered a variant
of obsessive-compulsive disorder, muscle spasms (tics),

2
de Souza IA. Humiliation, Shame or Resilience: How to Reach Each of the Ways to Live, According
to Analytical Psychology. Ment Health Hum Resilience Int J 2024, 8(2): 000252.
Copyright© de Souza IA.
sweating, motor agitation or paralysis, crying or, in extreme
cases, convulsions.
Bizarre behaviours may appear, leading to
uncontrollable desires to cause pain and degradation, both
to oneself (masochism) and directed at others (sadism). The
appearance of self-harm is associated with anxiety caused
by shyness and a feeling of inadequacy, leading to increased
suicides. Aggressiveness can be the direct result of old
humiliations. The individual may seek revenge throughout
his life. Preventing this anger from becoming encysted means
preventing explosive reactions in a masochistic or sadistic
way, which can lead to criminality.
Experiences of humiliation can result in self-destructive
behaviours, which reverberate in society, as they can
provoke volcanic aggressive reactions. Many tragedies
around the world have shown the evil unleashed after those
occurrences. Therefore, the occurrences follow the same
pattern universally. Shame is often confused with and linked
to guilt. It is constantly expressed as the irrepressible desire
to disappear, bury oneself, or hide entirely in a bottomless pit.
From the perspective of the unconscious dynamics and the
development of the individual from their first relationships
and, later, in their insertion into the world outside the family,
shame holds a status that deserves to be valued within the
web of psychosocial existence as a whole.
This feeling holds within itself an entire family of effects
that include-in addition to the sense of inferiority and
humiliation - shyness, inhibition and embarrassment. In
addition, individuals who have experienced embarrassing
experiences carry within themselves anxiety disorders due
to having a bad reference about them. This anxiety is called
“the anxiety of shame” [2]. The feeling of shame has its roots
essentially linked to the social context. Social interaction
in the small family environment or the world of countless
relationships will drive high or low self-esteem, producing
positive or negative marks.
Ifnegative,thesemarksarelinkedtotheopinionofothers
because the other is responsible for building a dramatic
sensitivity to any allusion to rejection. This is because the
phenomenon of stigmatisation, which is accepted at some
point by the individual himself, can produce a precarious,
meaningless, frustrating if not dramatic, social life. The
individual who can humiliate others by hurting them in
such a terrible way presents a high possibility of personality
disorder. What is in the human mind different from animals
that leads to this behaviour? It seems that it is not defence or
competition but a genuine evil desire to see others collapse
under one’s feet just for pleasure. It is possible to observe,
since the very beginning, that humiliation has always existed
in humanoids, and that can be an unbelievable differentiation
fromotheranimalsthatdon´tpresentsuchabehaviour.Could
we refer to the imposition of humiliation as an archetype?
The sadistic person feels pleasure in domination and
submission. The person who practices this intentionally
attacks, verbally or physically, another person or group
of people repetitively and systematically. They threaten,
oppress, intimidate, humiliate, mistreat and feel pleasure in
doing so. On the other hand, who is the humiliated person?
The psychological theories go through the scapegoat theory.
A scapegoat is an expression used to define a person on
whom someone else’s blame falls. They are accused of a crime
they did not commit or were not the creator of. Also, most of
the time, the scapegoat cannot prove their innocence, even
without being directly responsible for the accusation, but
expiation will occur, with punishment, penance, isolation,
and rejection. Scapegoats are those who serve expiatory
purposes because they receive projections [3]. The clinical
psychological aspects of these individuals are significantly
linked to depression, worthlessness, negativity, and the
vital and urgent necessity for help. They live in the nigredo,
immersed in death drive.
The scapegoat’s submission shows what he lacked, what
he was denied, and the care not given to him. He also carries
a rare jewel within himself, hidden in complexes. What
everyone desires: competence for life. The great truth is that
the element chosen to play this nefarious role, whether in the
family or a group, is the strongest or the best individual. The
scapegoat’sdon´thaveconsciousnessoftheirpotentiality,the
real treasure they have inside their psyche. They negate their
realisation as individuals in a group or society. They feel they
deserve nothing [4]. The projections lead to stigmatisation
that produces suffering and suicidal ideas.
According to Goffman E [5] the word stigma brings the
idea of an indelible mark, the brand of iron used on enslaved
people to identify their social condition. Thus, public or
social stigma can be defined as the presence of society’s
opposing ideas, beliefs and attitudes towards the stigmatised
person. The author studies that stigma is composed of three
dimensions: stereotype (cognitive alteration), prejudice
(emotional alteration) and discrimination (behavioural
alteration). Clinical evidence shows us that shame dulls
understanding, memory, and comprehension of concepts,
creativity and relationships. Intelligence is severely
impaired. Emotional changes result in behavioural changes,
depression and attempts, often successful suicide, which can
occur in adults, adolescents and even children. Individuals
who have experienced any humiliation develop shyness,
become insecure, keep to themselves, have difficulties
in school, develop tics, get sick quickly and develop
numerous other symptoms. Aggressiveness is a symptom of

3
depression, as it is hyperactivity. In this case, medicalisation
is not recommended without investigating the roots of the
symptoms.
Goffman E [5] reports that “stigma is an attribute that
produces a broad disbelief in the subject’s life. In extreme
situations, it is named as a “defect,” “flaw,” or disadvantage
about others. It constitutes a discrepancy between virtual
social identity and real identity. For those stigmatised,
society reduces opportunities, efforts, and movements,
does not attribute value to them, imposes the loss of social
identity, and determines a deteriorated image according to
the model that suits it. The social nullifies individuality and
determines the model, which is essential to maintain the
standard of power, nullifying all those who break or try to
break with this model.
The different person begins to assume the category of
“harmful,” “incapable,” or outsider, the parameter society
takes as the standard. He is left on the sidelines and has to
give the answer society determines. Society tries to preserve
the deteriorated image with a constant effort to maintain
the effectiveness of the symbolic and hide what is essential,
which is, in fact, the maintenance of the system. Goffman E
[5] also reports that the stigmatised social identity destroys
the subject’s attributes and qualities, exerts power to control
her actions and reinforces the deterioration of her social
identity, enhancing the deviations and hiding the ideological
nature of the stigmas.
Society imposes rejection. It leads to the loss of self-
confidence and reinforces the symbolic nature of the
social representation in which the subjects are considered
incapable and harmful to healthy interaction in the
community. It strengthens the social imagination of the
disease and the “irrecoverable” to maintain the effectiveness
of the symbolic. Stigma is the path to social exclusion and
marginalisation. Melo ZM [6] emphasises that society limits
and delimits the capacity of action of a stigmatised subject,
marks him as discredited, and determines the harmful effects
he can represent. The more visible the mark, the less likely
the individual is to reverse, in their relationships, the image
previously formed by the social standard.
Schools, often perceived in a positive light, may
seem inaccessible to those who cannot participate in the
achievements constructed by society, as they are excluded
from the process of human development [6]. In this way, the
stigmatisation arising from a mistake made, bullying, bad
reputation acquired by prevailing prejudices, etc., may result
in a true fate, curse or even a true self-fulfilling prophecy. It
may happen that the individual can never free themselves
from the curse, and the prophecy comes true, becoming
unhappy.
Thereare,infact,countlessreasonsforthestigmatisation
of an individual. It directly results from psychological
conflicts arising from those who promote it. The tormentor
will always be in the sights of his victim, who, in turn, has
built his fragility into her and is unable to free himself from
the curse inflicted and will submit to it. Studies on the
construction (or not) of trust go back to Winnicott, who
stated that the baby’s dependence on the environment is
the central factor in the child’s emotional development. His
fundamental premise explains how an individual grows and
acquires personal existence. In the early stages of life, the
newborn entirely depends on the environment, to the point
of not functioning as a unit [7].
Initially unintegrated, according to the psychoanalyst,
the baby depends on specific environmental care to
gradually be able to recognise its unity and its continuity
in space and time. His famous statement, made within the
British psychoanalytic society, condenses this idea: “That
which they call a baby does not exist.” The authors also
delve deeper into what Winnicott D [7] says, clarifying that
it is only possible to speak of a baby by encompassing the
environment that surrounds it, that is, the mother who
carries it in her arms, who identifies emotionally with it and
becomes capable, at least ideally, of meeting its basic initial
needs, whether physiological, social or affective. In Winnicott
D [7] vocabulary, environment, mother, and maternal care
should be considered synonyms since, in the beginning, the
mother functions, both in biological and psychological terms,
as the first environment for the baby. With the child still in
the womb or her arms being held and cared for, the mother
provides the physical environment that gradually becomes
psychological. The critical thing in this equivalence of terms is
to realise that the mother, at first, is the mother-environment.
Furthermore, as stated, environment, mother and maternal
care cannot be considered separately from the baby. Winnicott
D[8]conceivesofaninitialstateofcontinuitybetweenselfand
non-self, whose unit is not the isolated individual but rather
the environment-individual set. This unit is dual; it consists
of a newborn dependent on maternal care and a mother in a
state of primary maternal concern [8].
Winnicott D [9] also proposes that “the centre of gravity
of the being does not arise in the individual, but in the global
situation” and describes the necessary conditions to be found
in the relationship with the environment for the healthy
psychological maturation of the baby, have their support axis
in the relationship of trust with the mother-environment [9].
In this way, in the same way that trust is built, distrust is also
built. Winnicott D [9] observes that the break in relationship
continuity produces the radical collapse of predictability,
which underpins the daily security experience. Furthermore,
through clinical observations, he confirms that the ability to
bespontaneouscanonlyarisefromaninitialtrustexperience.

4
Human beings are born wholly open and predisposed to
relationships with others. Ethologically speaking, they have
developed a dependence on the care of another human
being to ensure this communication. Remembering that the
archetype has its roots in instinct, thinking about why the
human baby is strictly dependent on the maternal function
leads us to conclude that when it is not possible to make
this surrender in trust, avoidance, fear, phobia, a feeling of
lack of worthiness and, therefore, a lack of love for oneself
necessarily set in, generating deep shame, for not being a
being like the majority who are loved and respected.
Theloneliestpersonistheonewhoisafraidofloving,who
is scared of hurting and hurting himself, the chaste being of
a woman, a friend, the people, and the world. This burns like
a sad lamp, whose reflection also saddens everything around
it. He is the anguish of the world, which reflects it. He is the
one who refuses the authentic sources of emotion, which
are the heritage of all, and, enclosed in his hard privilege,
sows stones from the top of his cold and lonely tower. Adler
A [10] refutes the idea that character comes with birth and
emphasises the relationship between the individual and his
environment. The author postulates that:
• It is essential to understand the environment in which
the individual is born;
• Understanding how the individual seeks to dominate
his environment (sense of importance and inferiority or
superiority complex) is essential.
In the absence of significant obstacles to his tendency
to dominate, his initial attitude will not be disturbed; he
will bravely attack his difficulties; but in the face of serious
obstacles, the child changes, and we will no longer have
before us the frank and optimistic child, but the child who
has learned that fire burns, and that there are adversaries
who must be guarded against. Then, he will seek to achieve
his goal of imposing himself on attention and conquering
power through psychic deviousness [10]. Adler A [10] also
defines the fundamental differences between the character
of an optimistic person and a pessimist.
The optimists: These people bravely face all obstacles,
not taking them too seriously. They are self-confident and
adopt a happy attitude with relative ease. They do not
demand much from life because they hold themselves in
high regard and do not consider themselves forgotten or
insignificant. Therefore, they can overcome life’s obstacles
more quickly than others, who only see them as justifications
for their weakness and inadequacy. In the most challenging
situations, optimists remain calm and convinced that their
mistakes can permanently be corrected [10].
The pessimists: Pessimists are a completely different
type. It is with them that the most significant education
problemsariseforus.Theyareindividualswhohaveacquired
an inferiority complex due to events and impressions from
their childhood and for whom all kinds of obstacles have
contributed to invigorating the feeling that life is not easy.
They always face the dark side of life due to their pessimistic
personal philosophy, fed in childhood by inadequate
treatment. They are much more aware of life’s difficulties
than optimists and quickly become discouraged. Tortured
by a feeling of insecurity, they are constantly looking for
support [10].
Again, the analysis of the personality and predisposition
of parents offers a safe vision for the development of the
personality of the next generation. According to Wickes FG
[11], due to the unconscious impulse to make up for the lack
of love and understanding, the child will often develop habits
that lead him to lie, steal, break the rules, and become ironic
and malicious. Children who are victims of the parental
unconscious are often moody and hopeless. Wickes FG [11]
reflects that, unfortunately, there is nothing done within
psychological societies related to the prevention of cruelty
inflicted by adults who have any relationship of authority
over such a young life. One of the causes of pessimism is
the projection mechanism, repeatedly employed in cases
where parents resent each other. The things they repress are
projected onto the child, with the unconscious but obvious
intention of hurting the partner. The father/mother acts
upon the child as if he/she were the husband/wife. Thus,
once the loving situation is non-existent or repressed, the
unconscious takes control of the dysfunctional emotions,
which are emotionally primitive and not elaborated by
the ego. The child to whom love is denied will become
deceitful, deceitful, and perverse to obtain the attention
they desperately need neurotically. Just as hunger drives a
person to get food, the wound in life drives the individual to
someone who can offer them, love, even though the bias of
the pain caused to themself or someone else.
Jung states that the child’s psyche is part of the psychic
atmosphere of its parents. Participation mystique is the
child’s unconscious identification with their parents, so the
child perceives conflicts and suffers as if they were their
own. Therefore, it is common for such manifest difficulties to
poison the child’s psyche. He thus emphasises that, without
exception,theprimarycauseofneuroticdisordersinchildren
comes from the contents of the unconscious. Since positive
and negative mechanisms follow the same psychological
path, we can assume that the positive characteristics of this
parental psyche are also communicated.
Jung deals little with the mechanisms of constructing
healthy aspects and overcoming the human psyche and even
less with the construction of optimism, even considering this
feeling is a powerful inner force. In this way, he proposes

5
that the feeling of optimism can be qualified as a transcendent
function. Jung says that: By transcendent function, we must
not understand something mysterious and super sensible
or metaphysical but a function which, by its nature, can be
compared with a mathematical function of the same name and
is a function of real and imaginary numbers. The psychological
and “transcendent” function results from the union of
conscious and unconscious contents. Experience in analytical
psychologyhasabundantlyshownusthattheconsciousandthe
unconscious are rarely in agreement regarding their contents
and tendencies. This lack of parallelism, as experience teaches
us, is not merely accidental or without purpose but is because
theunconsciousbehavesinacompensatoryorcomplementary
manner about consciousness. We can reverse the formulation
and say consciousness behaves compensatively about the
unconscious [12].
Thus, taking into account that, in most cases, optimistic
people are precisely those who have gone through significant
and severe problems for a large part of their lives, it can be
assumed that the ability to see the positive side of events is
due to the ability to integrate, at the unconscious level, the
possibility of psychic collapse and the resumption of creative
psychic energy. On the other hand, clinical experience has
largely failed to show that adults and children from wealthy
and highly protective families are people with an excellent
ability to cope with life. It seems clear that, by protecting
the child from healthy suffering, the family takes away from
him the capacity and ego strength to face the challenges that
life imposes on him successfully. And so, the little princes
and princesses, as children are called today, may grow up
like Peter Pan or Sleeping Beauty, carrying with them, for
their generation and the next, the whole range of problems
resulting from immaturity, narcissism and lack of meaning in
creative life.
In both situations, the clinic also highlights the role
of parents, particularly the mother. In the first case, we
observe the presence of a mother capable of encouraging
the confrontation of adverse situations because she lives
this way and is a powerful, persevering, present, and strong
father in the face of extreme conditions.
Inthesecondcase,wefindmostofthetime,absentfathers
and mothers who delegate the care and education of children
to third parties who are not emotionally committed to them;
these are parents concerned with their professional lives, with
acquiring goods and living a high standard of living, which will
guarantee the maintenance of the status quo. The children
then become mere appendages of their lives.
According to Rutter M [13], resilience results from the
interaction between genetic and environmental factors,
which also vary in their function and can act as protection
at certain times and, at others, as a risk factor. Thus, to
understand why some people are resilient only in certain
situations, it is essential first to examine these interactions,
considering them from the context in which they occur and
the historical moment experienced by the person, since both
influence how adversity is experienced and, consequently,
the individual’s response to problems.
They are the opposite of a resilient one. Resilience is
conceptualised as the typically human capacity to react
positively to complex and unexpected situations and
adversities. Resilient individuals have tremendous and
positive potential to face different challenges, including
illness, complex changes in life, familial deaths and disasters.
Resilience comes into the psyche of some traumatised people
that is not present in others under the same conditions of the
same family and, sometimes, under challenging situations.
Discussions about the intriguing mental and psychological
mechanisms have been held, but no conclusion has reached
the goal.
Likely, resilience is directly related to sufficiently good
enough parental figures. Thus, positive potentials are
nurtured and constantly praised. In environments where
hope and faith in humans are cultivated, the marks of
traumatic situations function as driving forces for creative
attitudes. However, scars remain present, and they hurt and
will always be remembered, causing depressive states to be
constantly overcome and given new meanings. The study
shows that each of the possible attitudes resulting from
experiences of humiliation and shame arises mainly from
each individual’s previous unconscious history, later added
to their experiences in society, and how each person will deal
with the challenges that arise will depend on their primitive
unconscious contents. The theories presented support well-
founded assumptions, which clinical practice has confirmed
in longitudinal research. Thus, we can conclude that for the
three aspects proposed in this monograph, resulting from
experiences of humiliation and shame, there is an everyday
basis: the primordial relationships, considering that each
individual reacts differently to the experience suffered.
However, as the archetype is universal, it is possible, through
it, to reach this common root, which, when explored, can
offer safe bases for dealing with such suffering, both from
the point of view of treatment and prevention to the extent
that it is possible to publicise, clarify and offer resources.
It follows, then, that: The paralysis of creativity due to the
depression produced by the harmful experience reflects:
Lowered self-esteem arises from unconscious bases that
favour inferiority complexes. As a consequence, depression,
in all its psychiatric forms, can occur.
Then, it follows that: Recovering self-confidence, despite
negative parental figures, especially the maternal one, may

6
favour positive adjustments and the possibility of a turning
point arising from the psychological movement of hope and
faith. The other side of low self-esteem is grandiosity or
narcissism, which is just one form of depression. Without
limits, the all-power reflects the impoverished ego, crying
out for that love that will guide it and be careful.
The second aspect analysed is revenge, which will appear
destructive and projected with all the resulting tragedies.
Could these projections be caused by the humiliator alone,
or perhaps by someone who did not know how could not
handle or did not want to protect the humiliated person
from such exposure? The historical and social aspects of
the consequences of humiliation date back centuries in
Brazil. Brazilian history is filled with centuries of suffering,
infamy and torture of black people and people from lower
social classes while empowering white people, the rich and
the intellectually differentiated. The consequences are still
present today, producing, through the effect of projection, the
worst that can be found in Brazilian society and in so many
other countries, where prejudice and petty and degrading
humiliation prevail.
The third aspect of resilience is that it saves the
individual and society from the harmful consequences of
humiliation and feelings of shame. The ability to overcome
is a greatness of the human psyche, based on another being
who, psychologically, showed himself as an overcomer, full
of hope and faith in life. When a humiliated person has had
such contact in their inheritance, they will be safe, not from
the scars, but from the harmful consequences that these
scars cause. The importance of these permanent marks must
be considered in all the aspects mentioned. It is common
for all people who suffer such suffering, which was the
result of poisoning, by attitudes of rejection on the part of,
often maternal, paternal or authority figures, the loss of
confidence. Usually, individuals cannot free themselves from
the poisoning produced by internal statistics. However, in
the case of resilient people, a single support figure capable of
awakening hope and confidence in the individual’s existence
can also perform the miracle of awakening the unconscious
natural potentials of brilliance and competence.
Conclusion
The resilient person had, in their history, even if lost
in time, a figure that stimulated their self-esteem and
confidence somewhere and at some decisive moment. It
is assumed that this period is in the first years of life since
numerous clinical cases reported by different authors show
that adults who already have depression, self-distrust,
shyness, fear of confrontation and even accommodation that
prevents paradigm changes are unlikely to become resilient
individuals. Thus, not all people are capable of developing
such a characteristic. At this point in someone’s unconscious
history, what Jung CG [14] shows occurs: “The privilege of
having a higher consciousness is the sufficient response to
suffering, without which life would become meaningless
and unbearable.” Jung refers to it as deo concendente-with
the help of God, the encounter in life with someone capable
of producing the eternal flame of competence, vocation, and
overcoming in the face of situations genuinely full of suffering.
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