Hurting the Network: Part 3
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The document discusses the importance of nurturing a professional network and identifies practices that can alienate connections, such as controlling behavior, over-reliance on the network when in need, and trivializing the contributions of younger professionals. It emphasizes the significance of genuine relationship building and warns against using network members solely for personal gain. Ultimately, it highlights that social capital is crucial for business success and that effective networking requires ongoing engagement and adaptation as the network grows.
Hurting the Network: Part 3
- 2. 1 | P a g e Hurting the Network Part 3: Alienating Your Professional Network A professional network takes a long time to build, orchestrate and exchange value with. It is a living thing which needs to be nurtured, poor practices can quickly diminish this value. Further to Parts 1 and 2, here are a few additional thoughts from my personal experiences. Introduction our network is where you communicate and amplify your brand, building an effective network allows you to “pull and push” your value proposition from and to it. A common misconception is that a network is about extensive reach and the number of the people you know, this is the biggest myth you will have to deal with, you really want people committed to you. Good, robust and value exchanging professional networks take time to build and maintain. They can wither away when you stop exchanging value or use practices which alienate people. There are lot of things that appear obvious but, are much harder to practice. There are many kinds of professional networks ranging from subject matter experts, corporates, clients, governments call my media com academia etc. There are different things that lead to engaging and building each of these networks, but what alienates them is generally common across the board. We will examine and analyze a few themes which diminish your professional network. Perception vs Reality As I have mentioned in prior parts of this series, there is good networking and bad networking. At times, people think they are networking and building relationships, but the effect is the exact opposite. Let us explore a few myths below: ▪ Many people do not have much value to provide e.g., younger, and junior professionals ▪ An unsolicited and untargeted pitch on LinkedIn creates positive vibes and will result in responses or sales immediately ▪ Knowing many people high up in organizations creates meaningful value exchange ▪ Just because you know many people, you can burn social capital at will ▪ More number of connections in any configuration works, quantity matters and contamination can be managed ▪ Many people connect with you when you sit in positions of influence of power, decision making or buying – this means a network forever ▪ Showing up and engaging the network when you need something works well and yields instant results Let us explore the impact of the some of these issues in the sections below. Y
- 3. 2 | P a g e Alienating Your Network: Situations and Tactics Network Control There are people in the network who make connections easily, they are good engagers but also closely guard their networks limiting introductions and exposure to others. Many people tend to also control interactions between parts of their network. This “control freak” mindset is a turn off to people, it also limits interactions, diminishes value exchange and constricts flow of information; people can see through this quickly and most of us know that control freaks tend to have a psychological need to oversee things and people around them. But the approach can be a serious impediment to nurturing and growing your network. I have learned with experience that protecting your brand and reputation is important in the network, the network grows and enriches itself through free flow of information, generous introductions, and value creation. Different individuals can help each other in ways that you may not even intuitively think about, being a connector has its advantages as you can also benefit from the collective value of a growing professional network. A mindset of insecurity and control will have people tolerate you a couple of times but will soon gravitate out of your circles. Distractors I would be surprised if you have not heard several times, “network yourself into your next job”. If you are starting your networking efforts when you need a job, it is too late. Not everyone in the network is helpful when it comes to landing you a job. People are not exactly waiting to have coffee with you many times over and keep listening to your needs. If you have genuinely engaged the network, relationships evolve organically, and you just put out feelers. Seasoned veterans of the network orchestration game already know that your urge to have coffee will end with you landing the job. Try not to be that over distracting personality with constant approaches for introductions, lunches, coffees, and drinks only when you need something – it will disengage your professional network slowly but surely. Do not be a distraction and do not fall for distractions either. Network Eject There is usually some issue when people do not respond to you. You have reached out to someone and you do not hear back, a follow up yields the same result. Sounds familiar? My first instinct is to generally give a benefit of doubt i.e., people must be busy, traveling, ailing etc. and not to write people off as such. You also must accept that at times people eject you from their networks. If people do not respond to multiple different messages over a period including specific questions asked of them, then it is abundantly clear that they have ejected you and are not going to keep up with you. I have been ejected many times from people’s networks and I have ejected people as well as I did not want to engage with them for a variety of reasons. Such is life and one must move on. Nurturing Contamination While controlling the professional network is not good, protecting your brand is a must. To protect your brand personally and professionally, you must be very sure of who you bring on board. It is also important to understand their motives, personality types and ability to exchange value with your existing professional network. It is perfectly alright if different personalities do not get along in your network you do not have to put them together and this happens frequently. Having said that, bringing in people who will diminish your brand instead of enhancing it, annoy the network, have questionable ethics, play politics, and disrespect people etc. has a very steep price. Getting wrong people into your network leads to rapid network contamination and impacts your personal brand. As your professional network grows, it is very important to manage it for scale. For example, 1% of bad apples of 100-person professional network is only one person, but 1% of 1000 people network is 10 people and your contamination rate can become 10 X. Burning Social Capital Once a professional network gets large enough, it needs to manage differently and in a more systemic manner – one-on-one stuff can be only work with a select few people. Engagement through social media, events, conferences, and dinners etc. must become more frequent and planned. At the time,
- 4. 3 | P a g e you are in the process of scaling your professional network, it will initially start to take a toll on your productivity and maintaining it becomes a task. Lot of people cannot cross this chasm and give up; they rarely realize that the benefits of exchanging value become exponential too and a large network will start maintaining itself to some degree (but not without some effort). One important aspect to note is that just because you have strong connections and people willing to help doesn’t mean you have to seek favors and burn social capital all the time, a lot people start to use sledgehammers on flies and burn up social capital before it peaks. While this will not eject you from the network, it will be challenging to rebuild it quickly. The “Take and Vanish” Act The most common phenomenon when it comes to the network, the proverbial taker. They engage when they need, they vanish when they get what they want or even do not want. I have had people reach out for jobs, connections, funding, invites to events etc., they want all this instantly or they just move on – some will even connect with you till they get what they want and then you never hear from them. These opportunity seekers are not keen on a genuine exchange of value but using others as a steppingstone to someone else. Then, there is the “hanger-on” crowd, contacts from the past but never stayed connected but show up after a decade to seek something that they need, you never hear from them after again. If you keep taking from the network and never give back, people see through this very quickly and start disengaging with you. Having said, that I have takers come good for me at certain specific points in time too. It is just that I will never be one nor advice people to become one. Engage Right vs Engage Up Not being genuine is a going to put you out of favor very quickly, everyone can see through people who are engaging you only because they need something from you. If this does not go well with you, then do not be like this with anyone else. Look, there is no harm or downside in asking for help, I call people I trust and like all the time and when it comes to seeking introductions I always try to have something up my sleeve that they can benefit from. Identifying who to reach out to and which individuals would stand out for you should be really be analyzed. There are not many Fortune 500 company C-Suites and Boards that I do not personally know within my sector, however there are not many of those I can exchange meaningful value with. I know which ones will stand up for me, genuinely help me and even take a risk and which ones will not even with a good relationship developed over years. You must focus on the right people for you, not the biggest names. At times, big names do not help, but genuine connections do. “Connect and Pitch” on LinkedIn I have mentioned this before and have a dedicated article on this topic, you can find it here. This breach of trust action will get you are ejected out of the network at first contact. The new “connect and pitch” tacticians on LinkedIn have created nuisance in the name of social selling. Social selling is anything but connecting to someone leveraging LinkedIn’s promise and then breach trust with an immediate pitch with something that you must push on an individual who does not yet know you or trust you – it just comes across as a lack of understanding on how much modern sales has changed or your product is a commodity which is otherwise not gaining traction. I have done social selling for many years and generated multi-million dollars in revenue over many years. It does take time, no one is on LinkedIn to be pitched or waiting to buy on first contact. Build a long-term relationship, trust and exchange value and business will follow. Genuine relationship builders and influencers on LinkedIn do not push, they pull. Space Management While it is extremely important to stay engaged with your professional network, the art also lies in understanding when to lean back and give people space. There is a fine line between engagement, over engagement and hounding people – everyone is busy, and it is critical to respect their schedules and give them space. Appending a “non-urgent” tone and verbiage to a check-in will likely get you a quicker response than a tone of urgency, the former will relieve them bringing forth your genuine intent. Not letting people their space will overwhelm
- 5. 4 | P a g e and eventually the connection will fade away. I periodically come across this personality type and I am very quick to distance out. Trivializing Connections Many people mistake that more accomplished and senior people can give impactful value (advice, mentorship, funding, access to network etc.) while younger or junior professionals can only take. Nothing is further from this truth and I always advice people to not fall for these myths and traps. I have gained a lot of value from younger professionals, this ranges from technical insights, specialized knowledge and even connections. I have noticed that a lot of people trivialize connections based on this bias. Secondly, over the longer-term people change, gain experience, accomplish things and move up the ladder. I could write case studies on how I thought people do not have anything for me and I was mistaken. People want to be heard, respected, and helped, trivializing anyone is alienating them from the network. Stress Testing Your Network The best way to stress test your network is to create an adverse scenario like a start-up running out of funds, you being laid-off (lay-off test), having a crisis etc. If you cannot list those top 10 people you would call and it has been more than 60 days since you spoke with them, then your network engagement needs work. Here are a few questions to stress test your professional network, its strength and reliability: ▪ How many people will stand by you, prioritize your issue and fight for your cause? ▪ How many of your peers are engaged with you or will engage with serious commitment during testing times? ▪ Who would be genuinely upset if you do not overcome the crisis? ▪ Who are your first three calls you will make, and will they stand by you? Analyzing Issues The above-mentioned issues manifest with immediate or slower impact from a time dimension, they also have a high or low impact on alienating people in your professional network. Figure 1 below outlines the impact of each issue across the two dimensions of time and level of impact. While Network Control and Distractors have lower impact over a longer period, Network Contamination and Space Management will manifest themselves immediately and take its toll on your professional network. There are a few high impact issues which impact over time, these are also the most common issues i.e., “Take and Vanish”, Trivializing Connections and Ejection from Networks. If you have been practicing, noticing your own actions across these quadrants, then you have some adaptations to make. If you have only a dot or two in your execution style, then it is just about fine-tuning your relationship building style. Figure 1: Impact Analysis of Issues There are many great articles written on good practices by scholars and industry veterans, the bad practices are rarely called out. You can also read Hurting the Network Part 1 and Hurting the Network Part 2 which have a few other aspects covered.
- 6. 5 | P a g e Conclusion ocial capital is new currency of business and one should not expend it without good reason, be honest, build genuine relationships, authentic connections and business will follow. There are no short cuts to value exchange. As your network scales, your approach to additions, engagement, navigation etc. all need to adapt for scale. Many relationships in the network come good with time, continue to invest, and nurture the network – engage the right way. Many times, professional networks are not able to help your objective, recognize this aspect well too. It is not that people do not want to help you, they just run into their own limitations. About the Author: S Nitin Kumar is a two-decade veteran in the Hi-Tech industry. He is currently the CEO of Appnomic but played a variety of hands on executive roles ranging from CEO, Chief Growth Officer, Chief Transformation Officer, M&A Integration/Separation Leader, BU Head and Management Consulting Partner (corporate and PE portfolio companies). He is considered a business builder, thought leader and pioneer of many innovative approaches. He and was named as one of the “Movers and Shakers” in 2018/19. Nitin was also named in the “Silicon Valley’s Magnificent Four” for being one of the most connected and networked executives.