If
- 1. If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music...and of aviation.
- 2. California is a fine place to live— if you happen to be an orange
- 3. Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
- 4. if you cannot say what you are going to say in twenty minutes you ought to go away and write a book about it.
- 5. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
- 6. Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
- 7. I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
- 8. If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
- 9. If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
- 10. If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
- 11. If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
- 12. If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
- 13. Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
- 14. Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- 15. Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards.
- 16. The author of the Iliad is either Homer or, if not Homer, somebody else of the same name.
- 17. There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
- 18. Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
- 19. If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
- 20. If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
- 21. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
- 22. If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
- 23. If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
- 24. The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin.
- 25. Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms.
- 26. If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect.
- 27. If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
- 28. If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it.
- 29. If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you.