Interview with jon doe
- 1. Interview with Jon Doe Int: We are joining Jon Doe in his house to join him in his day to day life for his self proclaimed goal to become normal like everyone else and live in his words a “simple” life Jon: Well today I’m going to do some charity work as I was told my appearance will help with the fund raiser Int: Not to be rude but doesn’t this go against your goal to stay anonymous as you will be if anything raising your celebrity status Jon: So What…... is the problem with helping those less fortunate than I as me having to wait a bit longer for a normal life is better than those losing their life. Int: Well this sounds like an argument I wont be able to win so let’s move along Jon: Yeah lets Int: It is now 10:50am and Jon is running twenty minutes late Jon: (Bleeped) subway it shouldn’t take that long to make a (bleeped)ing sandwich Int: We have arrived and must now sign on to say we are here Jon: Hello I’m here for the fund raiser Bouncer: I know you you were one of the drunks in EastEnders Jon: Well that was a small role I’m in bigger things now Bouncer: Like what Jon: Errrrrmmmm this and that and look were late and need to get in for the fundraiser Mrerrr Bouncer: Just Bouncer will be fine and of course sir just through the door there and you’re on stage Jon: Thanks man I needed the publicity…...for the charity of course. Int: Well now we are seeing Jon finish his speech Jon: whooo I am going to miss that when this is over Int: You mean helping charities that good human being feeling Jon: That too I guess
- 2. Int: Were you on about fame Jon: I mean no I meant well it doesn’t matter Int: Well at least nothing went wrong Jon: excuse me what do you mean Int: Well its just we have many misadventures during these outings Jon: No you have caught me being pressured by society and how they treat me Int: you hit an old man Jon: who was pressuring me into signing a contract I didn’t want to sign Int: I thought that was an autograph Jon: it was disgusting of him to pressure me to sign it he started the confrontation Int: Right well where are we off too now Jon: we have to go to the after party for my money Int: You are charging a charity Jon: Yeah they keep most the money to themselves anyway so it doesn’t really matter Int: Even if that was true are you saying you would steal the little they get Jon: Well no but I’m not the one handling the money its them giving it me willingly I’m not the bad guy here Int: Well if that is the way you see it then there’s not much that can be done to change your mind Jon: Good you’re giving me a break for a change Int: I’m asking thorough questions because I’m an interviewer your moral compass is nothing to do with us. Jon: My moral compass is powered by money and is doing fine thank you now lets go Int: Where to next Jon Jon: We are going to the after party obviously
- 3. Int: What after party the event isn’t over yet Jon: Just follow me and stay cool. Bouncer: All right Jon forget something mate Jon: Yeah my wallet were just picking it up and were gone ok Bouncer: All right then Jon that’s fine but the crew will have to wait here while you do ok Jon: That is more than ok they can START THE CAR (five minuets pass) Bouncer: He is errr taking his sweet time back there Int: He has a habit of messing around Jon: F$*&ing run I got the money Bouncer: oi get back here you little @£$£ Jon: Where the hell is the car Int: We didn’t take the car Jon: you stupid mother Bouncer: Got him Jon: NONONONONnononono (bone breaking and various hits) Jon: owowow my arm nonono no not below the belt Bouncer: Looks like I’m going to have to get our friends in blue here Jon: They are already here Bouncer: Where Jon: Run Bouncer: For gods sake he realizes I was going to let him go right Int: You give him a lot of credit
- 4. Bouncer: Well you mind yourself now and tell him he wont be getting his check for this now Int: I think he knows that already Int: We are now doing some late night shopping with Jon Jon: Well we really messed up big time on that one Int: We didn’t mess up Jon you did Jon: Why didn’t you help me you would have had a big share Int: We are allowed to record events not interfere with them it is in our contract Jon: I didn’t realize when I hired a crew they would ignore the man paying them Int: Its not as if you need the money any way Jon you certainly seemto be doing well for Yourself Jon: I didn’t get that house by spending a lot of my own money I did it with quite a few Contributions from fellow shows Int: Are you admitting to theft while being recorded? Jon: I’m just saying that I’m doing well for myself through more means than acting Int: Well we have to put this in any way Jon though I hope you realize how much trouble this may get you into Jon: You talk a lot for someone who should be recording me and MY life you know that Int: And for someone seen as honest you steal a lot more than the average actor Jon: Whatever any way are your legs okay Int: They are fine I wasn’t the one ruffed up by the bouncer Jon: You’re like an unfunny comedian you just lack comedy now ready Int: Ready to what oh no please Jon not now Jon: RUUUUUNNNN Int: I’m going to the police station may as well meet you there Jon: Meet me there and oh god a guard
- 5. Guard: Got him Jon: Lord NOOOOOO (Once again he is being beaten up) Jon: Ow my face I’m down stop hitting me and is that pepper spray $&@£ Int: We end our interview once again in the police station and hope you will tune in to see What Jon is up to next episode?