Mindset and Me
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The seminar focuses on understanding the impact of mindset and self-expectations on personal perspective and experiences. It emphasizes the importance of creating meaning from one's history and experiences, as well as recognizing cognitive distortions that can influence behavior and self-perception. Drawing on examples, such as the blind men and the elephant, it illustrates how different perspectives can shape reality and emphasizes the value of acceptance and self-awareness in personal growth.
Mindset and Me
- 1. Mindset and Me Luke Payson, LPC, CAADC, MA
- 2. The original title of this seminar was to be: “Self-expectations that lead to self concept” important to emphasize the mindset/ self- expectations that you bring to every situation
- 3. Overall Goal: Healthy vs Normal •Healthy= emotionally self regulated; balanced, stable, peace of mind (serenity) self-efficacy, self-esteem, •Normal= “norm” in statistics whatever the average is- add up everything and divide by that number
- 4. What do you see? • The next two slides; have 2 seconds for each • Remember what you see and we will share after
- 7. •We don’t see our problems, we see our solutions •Look for the Why behind the What
- 8. as humans (not just students, Bonners) so much of our life is predicated on our perspective, which is built up of: LOC, expectations, history, experiences and the meaning we create of those experiences.
- 12. Takeaways from the lemon •Your perspective is your reality •your perspective is not necessarily the reality •The meaning you create of the world will greatly impact/ dictate your interaction in the world
- 13. History and Experiences •Your history and experiences are uniquely yours •Strongly connect to your perspective and expectations •Consider how childhood experiences like abuse, bullying, support, encouragement, being rejected, feeling unsafe, feelings secure impact one’s current perspective and expectations
- 14. Our Perspective of Things/Others matters..
- 15. What is this?african elephant and baby
- 16. Blind Men and the Elephant – A Poem by John Godfrey Saxe Here (1816-1887) It was six men of Indostan, To learning much inclined, Who went to see the Elephant (Though all of them were blind), That each by observation Might satisfy his mind. The First approach'd the Elephant, And happening to fall Against his broad and sturdy side, At once began to bawl: "God bless me! but the Elephant Is very like a wall!" The Second, feeling of the tusk, Cried, -"Ho! what have we here So very round and smooth and sharp? To me 'tis mighty clear, This wonder of an Elephant Is very like a spear!"
- 17. The Third approach'd the animal, And happening to take The squirming trunk within his hands, Thus boldly up and spake: "I see," -quoth he- "the Elephant Is very like a snake!" The Fourth reached out an eager hand, And felt about the knee: "What most this wondrous beast is like Is mighty plain," -quoth he,- "'Tis clear enough the Elephant Is very like a tree!" The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear, Said- "E'en the blindest man Can tell what this resembles most; Deny the fact who can, This marvel of an Elephant Is very like a fan!"
- 18. The Sixth no sooner had begun About the beast to grope, Then, seizing on the swinging tail That fell within his scope, "I see," -quoth he,- "the Elephant Is very like a rope!" And so these men of Indostan Disputed loud and long, Each in his own opinion Exceeding stiff and strong, Though each was partly in the right, And all were in the wrong!
- 20. The results… -Interpretation becomes our reality - Distorts our understanding - Distorts the way we interact with the situation, person, stimulus
- 22. LOC (Locus of Control) •Locus= location •What is the location of your control/ power to change? •Internal vs external LOC •Internal vs external motivation •Intrinsic vs extrinsic rewards
- 23. Quiz results
- 24. The Importance of Meaning - History and experience is just that; depends on us to create meaning from our history and experiences Historical example: Jewish Holocaust Vicktor Frankl- “Man’s Search for Meaning” - hopelessness, fear, despair, depression - Love, happiness, sacrifice, joy
- 28. Creating Meaning continued More common examples Abuse or abandonment from a parent •I’m not loveable, something is wrong with me, That must be what it is to be an adult/ parent, way the world works •Value of love, importance of safety in life (Seeking Safety) A or F on test or paper Relationship Start or End
- 29. Cognitive Distortions Cognitive Distortions= self-defeating behavior, distorted thinking patterns -Thought/ behavioral pattern (expectations) based on history or experience -The meaning or sense (of whatever happened) we have created for ourselves
- 30. Common Cognitive Distortions All or nothing thinking- believing that there is no middle ground- I’m either all good or all bad, my day is either spectacular or terrible -often the result of parents who demonstrated this thinking pattern, coaching that failed to praise progress and only looked for results, feeling like the only way to get love was to earn it by being perfect etc Disputing (Creating Healthy Meaning): identify the progress, effort, aspects that go against the all or nothing thinking- ie- nothing ever goes right in my life- to identifying aspects that are good
- 31. Personalization- believing that everything others do or say is some kind of direct, personal reaction or attack to you. Can also be blaming self for some unhealthy external event for which they are not responsible. -often develops from emotional abuse in childhood/ toxic relationships as adult, or from death or divorce at young age- believed self was at fault Disputing (Creating Healthy Meaning): consider other reasons for people’s behaviors, counseling to identify emotional abuse, consider what would say to a child at that age of death or divorce Emotional reasoning- what we feel must be true automatically thinking that “if I feel an emotion it must be true” -often develops when not encouraged to find healthy expression of emotions, poor emotional self-regulation Disputing (Creating Healthy Meaning): feelings are the result of my thinking patterns, what am I thinking to cause me to feel this way
- 32. Expectations and Goal Setting Reconsider expectations and goals based on self- awareness of cognitive distortions and the creating of healthy meaning in your life “Test” your goals and expectations to see if they reflect cognitive distortions
- 33. Acceptance -Having a mindset of acceptance increases our engagement with what we can control and decreases our engagement in what we can’t control Serenity Prayer “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”