Passion To Performance

Passion to Performance

Formula for Self-Mastery

By Aneesah Bakker

Contents

The Power of Passion 1
Sow your OATS to reap the benefits 3
The Power of Collaboration 6
Person-Centred Collaboration
The Power of Experience 9
The Big Picture 11
The Power of Creative thinking 12
I-VOLUTION
The Power of Perception 20
The Power of Imagination 21

Phase I - Find your Passion 24
Level 1 - Initiation 26
Level 2 – Immersion 32
Level 3 - Incubation 38
Level 4 – Innovation 45
Level 5 - Integration 51

Phase II - Create Passion-Driven Goals 57
Level 2 - Immersion 68

Phase III - Cultivate your Resourceful State 101
Level 2 - Immersion 109

The Power of Connection 140
Create Congruent Connections

Passion to Performance 141

About the Author 146

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my father who taught me the value
of personal authenticity and how to be ‘big on planning’.
He taught me the good habits of relaxation and training
my imagination. He always encouraged me in my dream
to nurture mind-power and to help others in their Quest.

The Power of Passion

Even a thought, even a possibility can shatter us and transform
us
Friedrich Nietzsche

My dream and my passion are to extend a hand to others, to
spark a small insight that has the potential for profound and
lasting transformation.

When I decided to write this book; my objective was to write a
book that could stand on its own, with its’ own merits and
benefits. This was intended to benefit those whom I did not
coach directly. I wanted to reach more people – people who
wish to add value to their coaching partnerships and those who
choose to self-coach. Of course, there are many other potential
uses for my book. This would include providing a guide for those
who wish to coach others, be it in a formal or informal,
everyday context.

My purpose is also to write a book that can be used by my
clients to supplement our coaching collaboration. In the same
vein, I also want to make available a more comprehensive
supplement to the workshop training manuals and workbooks
for those who wish to continue on their journeys of self-
mastery.

This book integrates in-depth research and experience on a
topic which was presented in various forms, including a thesis
on Personal and Professional Goal Setting and Goal Management
in Coaching. For my thesis, I seriously contemplated using the
alternate title of Creating Congruent Connections - Managing
Your Goals to Manage Yourself. Instead, I decided on the more
academic version. The point is, when deciding on your mission
and goals; you need to consider the outcomes sought.
Furthermore, when you have clear outcomes, you can afford to
have and benefit from being flexible in the means you choose to
attain your goals.

This book is also based on a humanistic approach to goal
setting. I believe in starting with where the person is and
honouring and prizing the person’s strengths and their potential.
This is the foundation of an approach I have named OATS™.

1

OATS™ is intended to emphasise the creation of options and
opportunities as well as the use of tools and techniques across
contexts. My specific focus is on mobilising opportunities and
assessing benefits and value from an ecological perspective. I
will elaborate on the ecological perspective throughout this
book.

I have also developed a model which serves as a framework to
facilitate the process of goal setting and management. I was
tempted to present this as the title of this book. Perhaps, now
that I have written this book, I might choose to write an
independent book on the SMARTEST STAR model.

At this point it is important to me to present the overall concept
of using a goal management model within a particular context
and also, and most significantly, creating a goal that is
congruent to who you are and where you want to be. I have
sought to demonstrate, how you might also add additional
dimensions to this process. A dimension I concentrate on is that
of creativity.

I seek to start with your passions and to enable you to connect
this to not only what you want to achieve, but also to how you
want to achieve it.

This book has evolved out of the framework I use to guide my
face-to-face coaching, training and workshops as well as
consultancy service. I call this framework “From Passion to
Performance – A Formula for Self-Mastery” and so this has
become the title of my book.

I have sought to be clear and transparent in my position on the
topic so that you may benefit not only from the actual content
but also from my modelling of the processes involved in all
three phases of self-mastery. This book, therefore, also serves
as an actual example of how I developed and applied its
contents based on a specific aim, focus and other aspects I
perceived as being significant, viz. a humanistic philosophy and
features of creativity as these align with my belief in human
potential.

2

Sow your OATS to reap the benefits

All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of
times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over
again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience
Johann Wolfgang van Goethe

OATS™ is an approach and a unique system of worksheets that
I have developed to enable you, in a creative, effortless and
playful way, to achieve successful and personally authentic
outcomes. OATS™ concentrates on sourcing your potential as
well as creating opportunities for experiential learning.

My assumption is based on a strengths-based approach. This is
my belief in prizing and optimizing the person’s strengths to
give better outcomes and more meaningful, sustainable and
personally fulfilling outcomes. It is based on the belief that we
all have unique strengths and talents that open up a wider
variety of potential, viz. opportunities and options. Opportunities
and options can also be referred to as alternatives.

Why are OATS so significant? The most significant feature of
OATS is that it is designed to target and mobilise your
strengths. This refers to all of your strengths as represented by
the acronym. OATS™ is a creative and versatile system that can
easily be adapted to your learning style.

The benefits of using a strengths-based perspective are obvious.
Your strengths as represented by this acronym are the central
focus of my book.

The following table represents various areas of strengths. This
representation is certainly not exhaustive, for example, you can
add aptitude, abilities, talents, and many other internal
resources that you possess.

O Opportunities, Options
A Achievements, Attitude
T Tools, Techniques
S State, Skills

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Opportunities

Both opportunities and options thinking fall within the realm of
positive thinking. This is not optimism though it does involve
one’s ability to perceive and develop opportunities.

Options

Options refer to being flexible and open to objectively assess
what options are available. This includes developing the skill of
generating a multitude of options and alternatives as a way to
moving towards what you want.

Achievements

The experiential approach to learning provides opportunities to
build on your achievements. Your past achievements empower
you to succeed in the present and the future.

Attitude

Attitudes include perceptions, values and beliefs. It includes the
approach you bring to any circumstance. Real personal
development as well as success and fulfilment are only possible
when you work on cultivating a constructive attitude.

Tools and Techniques

This book provides you with many tools and techniques to add
to your toolkit. I also concentrate on sourcing, mobilising and
refining tools and techniques you might be unaware that you
apply.

State and Skills

Your skill set includes your abilities, talents and strategies. This
book emphasises the importance of your state and how you can
read, access, interpret and mobilise your states to create a
Resourceful State. This book is about your State for Excellence.

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Objectives:

The main objective of this book is to provide you with the
OATS™to:

• Enable you to explore your passion
• Enable you to successfully set personal and/or
professional goals that match your passion
• Enable you to creatively connect and stay connected to
your passion
• Enable you to use your passion to drive your actions
• Enable you to nurture your resourceful state so you can
engage it more easily

Who will benefit:

• Anyone who wants to be successful in any personal or
professional goal will benefit.
• Anyone seeking to develop their creativity will benefit.
• Anyone looking for personal authenticity or greater
congruence between their dreams and actions will
benefit.
• Anyone with the courage to pursue personal
development.

5

The Power of Collaboration

Whether you are embarking on this quest of personal
development on your own or with a coach, the foundation of
your quest is relationship and communication.

The foundation of any good collaboration is a sound rapport. In
this section, for the purpose of clarity, I will focus on the coach-
client collaboration. These attitudes and skills are equally
relevant to self-coaching or self-management and will be found
to be valuable in any personal and professional relationship.

Person-Centred Collaboration

Coaching is a collaborative partnership, focusing on empowering
the coachee in goal setting, goal accomplishment as well as
facilitating personal development and fulfilment.

The benefit of contractual coaching is that one has the added
value of a different, an original, objective and fresh perspective.
Even after working on a short term basis with a coach, you can
benefit from reflecting what you think his/her objective, non-
judgemental, prizing and creative perspective might be. This will
help you think of more options and alternatives, to become
unstuck and to find positive ways forward. A coach helps you
focus on your resources and to mobilise strengths which may
not be apparent to you. Coaching might help you restore and
increase your self-confidence.

Taking a different perspective leads to a change in State. It is a
useful technique to deliberately choose what kind of state you
would like to be in for the task at hand. This is not unlike the
common expression ‘I’m not in the mood for this’. There are
times when you choose to make a deliberate effort to ‘get in the
mood’.

Other examples of a state-change is when you are influenced by
the movie you are watching, music you are listening to as well
as state changes caused by humour and art.

When you collaborate with a coach, a good coach is attentive to
your state and helps you increase your self-awareness so that
you can become more accurate in assessing your state.
Collaboration will help you align your state to your tasks and
challenges. Collaboration will help you determine and choose for
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yourself what would be a more appropriate and constructive
state for that moment. Collaboration thus, will help you align
your efforts to your goals.

This alliance is person-centred in terms of the coachee as a
person is the centre of the relationship. Of central importance is
respecting and prizing and honouring the ‘real person’ inside the
coachee. This means honouring the person’s needs, personal
well-being, skills, talents, and strengths. It means
unconditionally accepting the other in his/her uniqueness,
values and beliefs even when you do not share their sentiments.
It is being non-judgemental of perceived differences or
eccentricities which is not the same as condoning these nor of
adopting that behaviour.

The alliance is coachee-centred because it is centred on the
coachee’s goals. The coachee determines what he wants for
him/her i.e. coachee self-determination. The coach empowers
and enables the coachee to look at his/her goals from different
perspectives and in different contexts to envision and create
other options and possibilities. The coach asks non-directive,
open ended questions as much as possible to enable the
coachee to explore what they really want and even their
motivation for wanting it.

Coaching intervention is focussed on actual goals, behavioural
efficiency and performance levels in a context that sustains
coachee motivation and commitment as well as promoting self-
sufficiency.

The foundation of the collaboration is a relationship built on the
principles of the person-centred approach as advocated for by
its founder, Carl Rogers. The coach believes in the true potential
of the coachee, that only the coachee knows best what direction
he wants to take. The coachee is motivated to do what is best
for himself/herself i.e. the coachee is driven to and has the
power for self-actualisation.

The coach provides the foundation for coachee self-
determination by fostering an environment of trust through the
following rapport-building skills:

• Empathy
• Genuineness
• Unconditional Positive Regard

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Empathy

Empathy refers to the coach’s willingness to connect to and
understand the coachee’s reality as experienced by the coachee
i.e. from the coachee’s frame of reference. The coach expresses
this willingness through investing time and energy to build
rapport with the coachee.

Genuineness

Genuineness refers to the coach practicing self-awareness in
his/her experience of the coachee. The coach needs to be
genuine/ transparent in his/her willingness to share this
awareness with the coachee in the interests of coachee
development and learning. For example, if the coach realises
the coachee’s goal to be wealthy conflicts with the coachee’s
values and beliefs about wealth/money, it is the coach’s
responsibility to share this in a constructive way with the
coachee. The purpose would be to enable the coachee to close
the gap between his/her values and goals.

Unconditional positive regard

Unconditional positive regard refers to the coach respecting and
prizing the coachee through providing a safe and non-
judgemental atmosphere/ relationship. The coach demonstrates
acceptance, respect and trust through his/her verbal and non-
verbal behaviour.

While the coach consciously and consistently builds rapport with
the coachee, this is not an end in itself. Coaching is about
results, targets, outcomes, achievement, success and
accomplishment.

The coachee’s experience of this attitude from the coach will
empower the coachee and help him/her to reclaim personal
power. Personal power refers to increased self-esteem, self-
confidence and restored faith in one’s own potential.

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The Power of Experience

It is said that ‘experience is the best teacher’. I would like to
give you this opportunity to experience immediate benefits from
momentarily adopting a different perspective. Scan over the last
two weeks. Scan over interactions you have experienced that
involve others. More specifically, consider an interaction that
may have preoccupied your thoughts after it happened and
might even still have you pondering aspects of what you
experienced. This can be a relatively low key incident such as an
inconsiderate act or word – someone cutting in front of you in a
queue, perhaps. This can be any incident no matter how small
that nevertheless troubles you in some way. Now I would like
you to fade the characteristics of that experience from your
memory. Now, think of your ideal life 5 years from now. Ten
seconds is enough. You can see yourself in the future. You have
left this experience in the past. You are removed from this
experience which by now is long over. In the meantime, you
have had many wonderful and positive experiences. You might
even be relaxing on a sunny terrace. Look back at that
particular distant, vague and now insignificant incident. You
probably don’t want to be bothered with this right now. And you
know what; you don’t have to be bothered with that right now.
Savour your moment of peace and tranquillity and leave that
incident in the past where it belongs. You have no need for
excess baggage.

You may want to take the opportunity to reflect upon how this
other perspective benefited you… on the other hand, you might
simply want to go on and savour a few more moments in your
altered perspective.

My experiences with my children, partner, friends and others
have convinced me that no amount of advice even when
consistently applied (nagging included!), will have the same
powerful and lasting impact on others as their own experiences
have on them.

There have been many times that I have been profoundly
touched by a particular experience or demonstration. I have
also benefited most from training and workshops when there
was a strong emphasis on practical and experiential exercises.
In fact, personally, I tend to evaluate training and workshops on
the quality and relevance of their practical and experiential
exercises. Of course I believe that there is a place for an
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adequate balance between theory and practice, but what
constitutes “adequate balance” is beyond the scope of this
article.

As far back as sometime between 551 BC and 479 BC, the
Chinese philosopher and reformer Confucius had this to say “I
hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I
understand.” I am certain that quotations like these coupled
with sayings such as “seeing is believing” amongst others, have
helped form and maintain my belief in the power of experiential
learning.

When I studied for my degree in Social Sciences, my lecturers
and supervisors taught, through theory as well as through
practical and experiential exercises, the benefits of experiential
learning. They modelled an inspiring attitude towards learning
and change. I believe the powerful influences on my learning
and changing perceptions was due to firstly, a willingness and
openness to learn; secondly, a transparent agenda/structure
that I agreed to; thirdly, my perception that I had some choice
in what activities to follow; and most significantly, the actual
experience of the facilitative relationships with my “lecturers”
and with my “supervisors”.

I experienced genuineness or what I call honesty and openness
on the part of the other to share his/her perceptions of our
interaction/dialogue in a non-threatening way. I experienced
respect, prizing and understanding. I felt safe and accepted. I
felt an honest, open-hearted willingness on the part of the other
to always look at and acknowledge things from my point of view
while at the same time sharing his/her perception as an equal.

Thus, the foundation of my education was the person-centred
approach as pioneered by the American psychologist Carl R.
Rogers. In my understanding, Rogers was also the pioneer for
experiential learning in the modern world. This approach, he
recommended in fields as diverse as relationships, parenting,
education, business, intercultural diversity and government
amongst others. He also maintained that all parties stand to
benefit when relationships are governed by humanistic
principles.

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The Big Picture

The process of goal setting and project management follows a
general direction as indicated by the table below. The same is
true of your collaboration with a coach. Awareness of the stages
for successful and sustainable outcomes means that you can
increase productivity and the resulting benefits.

Initial Working Sessions
Setting the Agenda The coachee is actively involved in
Plan of Action generating the agenda, The coach
Mobilising Resources enables the coachee to set a
unique and customized goal or
project to work on. They
collaborate as the coachee decides
on a strategy or plan of action
made up of measurable and
manageable milestones. The
coachee takes a decision on how
to mobilise resources (the coachee
is the most important resource).
Ongoing Working Sessions
Reflection/Feedback Self-reflection and self-monitoring
is used as the coachee checks
his/her progress against the
previously established milestones
on an ongoing basis.
Re-assessment and Adjustment Session
Re-assessment The coachee is enabled to re-
Modification assess progress and may even
consider making modifications or
implementing corrective actions to
adapt to changing needs and
circumstances.
Closing Session
Optimizing Benefits In the final session, success, new
skills and learning is consolidated
and generalized and integrated
into other areas of the coachee’s
life. The coachee may wish to
examine how to further maintain
and maximize positive outcomes
and benefits.

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The Power of Creative Thinking: I-VOLUTION
Coping with Change, Creativity and Learning

Change happens… Creative Change needs a helping hand.

The Big Picture provided an overview of project management. It
applies equally to the process of coping with change, creativity
and learning. I have synthesised this approach with the power
of creativity thus creating an integrated process that I refer to
as I-VOLUTION.

I-VOLUTION is about change management, it is about
managing transitions and transformation. It is a fluid process
that shows distinctive patterns and phases of development and
flow. Awareness of these naturally evolving phases can lead to a
more deliberate and productive learning and change experience
with more personally fulfilling outcomes.

Entrepreneurs, outstanding learners, scientists and creative
people habitually mobilise this process. When studying
successful people one is able to observe particular
characteristics (attitudes) and skills as they progress through
each level.

These characteristics and skills are evident in babies, for
example, when learning to walk. One can observe the
behaviours and attitudes that are typical of each level. Why and
how a person uses less of this resource as they get older, I can
only guess. There is an indication that these attitudes and skills
need to be resourced and cultivated for continued benefit.

I personally experience these levels every time I relocate. It is
evident in the phenomena of ‘Culture Shock’ that is observed in
expatriates during their transitions. It is also true of anyone
experiencing any new and challenging experience.

It is also true when setting goals as goal setting concerns
creating change through transforming circumstances. The
process of goal setting requires the use of creative potential,
creative thinking, creative skills and ability and a creative
attitude. This is particularly true when a person is empowered to
look at options and to think in terms of possibilities so as to
create opportunities for change.

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Goal setting is a creative and innovative process with your
resourcefulness being your greatest asset. This book
encourages and supports you to consciously use creativity tools
and techniques such as brainstorming and visualisation as well
as to enable you to enter into a resourceful state for more
effective and fulfilling results. This can be called Creative
Consciousness or Mindfulness as one deliberately adopts and
practices positive attitudes and beliefs one seeks to reflect
through ones’ behaviour. I call it Creative or Innovative
Thinking.

Innovative thinking is about producing a unique service or
product which is what takes place when goal setting. You are
seeking to achieve results that are tailored to your needs,
through a process of generating multiple options and
opportunities.

Studies of successful people show that creative thinking plays a
central role to their success. Creativity is evident in
characteristics such as flexibility, positive and optimistic
thinking, high toleration for frustration, thinking in terms of
possibilities, amongst others, and they all contribute towards
successful outcomes.

Through my experience and research, I have identified five
primary levels that characterise change. These are Initiation,
Immersion, Incubation, Innovation and Integration.

Initiation Induction, Introduction, Inception, Ideation,
Interested, Information, Initialisation,
Imitation
Immersion Investment, Involvement

Incubation Intuition

Innovation Insight, Inspiration, Inflammation,
Illumination

Integration Incorporation, Idealisation, Independence,
Inclusion Institutionalisation , ‘Iconising’

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These processes when applied deliberately is an excellent
vehicle not only to generate new and unique solutions, but also
to lead one through any transition experience.

Level 1 - Induction

Induction refers to the initial process of acquaintance. One
focuses on various aspects of the task at hand. This level of
interaction involves engaging with the task and ‘getting your
feet wet’ so to speak. Introductions and briefings fall under this
category.

Level 2 - Immersion

One invests time and concentration as well as other resources
on the task. One becomes more invested in the outcome of
one’s involvement. Characteristically there is active and deep
engagement. Typically, this stage involves making a
commitment and letting down boundaries. One becomes more
and more immersed until there is the impression of reaching
‘saturation point’. This state involves focus and single-
mindedness.

Level 3 - Incubation

One feels that one has reached an impasse or that one has
reached a point when no more options seem apparent. It seems
like it is necessary to takes time off away from the task. In
other words there might be a sensation of feeling stuck or
frustrated. Successful people expect to succeed. They are
confident that there is a solution and that they will find a
solution after a break or letting go.

Level 4 - Innovation

The time out is beneficial and one is able to see the solution
which now seems obvious. Such an experience is referred to as
the ‘Eureka!’ effect or the ‘Aha!’ experience.

Level 5 - Integration

One relates and applies insight and learning to other interests
and areas. This step involves transferring benefits obtained to
other, not necessarily identical, contexts. Learning when applied
becomes part of one’s knowledge base and skill set. Debriefings
include this element.
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Level 1 - Induction

This level is also known by terms such as initiation, inception,
and ideation. People have different preferences as to how they
approach situations. Some are able to immerse themselves
immediately while others need to approach tasks more
gradually. No matter what one’s preferences, the first step is to
get started. To do something, anything, that is related to the
task or project or learning experience at hand. This might
involve the activity of ‘modelling’ the desired behaviour or
outcome or acting ‘as if’ you have already achieved the goal and
desired outcomes. This is not different from when children ‘play
house’ as they try on for size certain roles.

Initiation may also include an external representation of one’s
idea. This could be the process of thinking about what is to be
written, jotting down a few ideas, mind-mapping, playing a few
notes on a piano, etc. Initiation might also include the act of
gathering the materials necessary to begin one’s task, project,
etc. It could also be attending a briefing, reading an
introduction, and so on.

Induction usually explores factors such as current resources,
challenges, opportunities, demands, previous experience and so
on.

This exploration might include:

• What are the main challenges of the task?
• What identical tasks have I performed before?
• How much time will I spend on this task?
• What do I want to get out of this project?
• What unique strengths, abilities, and attitudes am I
bringing to this project?

Depending on the person and the nature of the task, one might
discuss one’s plans with others and this may lead to greater
commitment and bonding with the task.

One might even experience a sort of ‘honeymoon’ feeling.
Optimism is high and one usually ignores or denies the
existence of possible obstacles, ignoring weaknesses and
limitations. This is not unlike deciding to start a family. If one
were aware of exactly what lies ahead, mankind will be in
danger of extinction.
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Level 2 - Immersion
Immersion, Investment

In this phase, one uses as many skills and strategies one can
think of to solve the problem, attain a solution or to cope with
and rise above the change/challenge.

One actively seeks to come up with as many possible ideas and
solutions as possible. First one might look for ideas to emulate,
imitate, role models, etc. One also seeks inspiration from
experience and applies tried and tested strategies. The focus is
to generate as many ideas as possible, with little attention given
to quality. As ideas are generated, one favours certain solutions
over others. This is called brainstorming. This creative thinking
technique, even when applied haphazardly and without
deliberation, is a natural and not uncommon strategic choice.

Then one sets aside limitations and opens up to other
strategies. There might be a fleeting temptation to quit – the
more one learns, the more one realizes how much more there is
to know, in other words - how little one knows. Self-doubt and
other anxieties might pose an additional challenge. One might
experience resistance from others, social pressures which might
give rise to hesitation. Engaging with the situation or task
usually deepens one’s commitment to pursue one’s ends.

When motivation and commitment is sufficiently high; one
realizes that one has already invested too much into the task or
that one has nothing to lose. There might be a feeling of
frustration or a sense of chaos and uncertainty. One perhaps
feels overwhelmed and yet at the same time realises that there
‘is no turning back’. At this point there may be the belief or
perception that there is more to gain than to lose were one to
withdraw or retreat from the task.

People who succeed through this phase exhibit the following
characteristics. They desire the end result, and believe in the
inevitability of a successful resolution. They expect a successful
outcome and are determined to move through frustration. They
show great perceptual and behavioural openness (curiosity) and
flexibility.

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Incubation, like the other levels, is a natural evolution in
change, creativity and learning experiences. A deliberate
mobilisation of any of these levels will lead to more productive
outcomes.

Sometimes one becomes so immersed in a task and fails to read
signals of when to ‘have a break’. One continues working
beyond the stage where it is useful. This may even leave to
burn out and abandoning the project.

Useful questions to ask are:
• Have I given 100% to this task?
• Can I make any more progress right now if I were to
continue?
• Do I feel stuck?
• Could I benefit more from leaving things alone for
awhile?

Incubation gives the creative subconscious the time and
opportunity to process disparate information and for
assimilation and patterning to occur, uninhibited by conscious
processes. Even in cases of feeling that one is no closer to the
answer than at the beginning, scientists have found this to be
the most fruitful stage of the entire process.

Certain activities are associated with the incubation phase.
These include exchanging ideas with others, sleep (the dream
state), taking a bath, going for a walk, and many others. These
all help one connect at a deeper level which can give rise to
flashes of insight.

To encourage this transition from incubation to innovation, you
might consider:
• priming yourself in your task before taking your bath
• priming yourself in your task before going to sleep
• priming yourself in your task and then taking a short nap

One is encouraged to keep a notepad and pencil in the
bathroom, next to your bed, and so on. These flashes of insight
typical of the Innovation /Illumination phase are so intense and
clear that one cannot imagine forgetting them. However, if
other interruptions are present or you go back to sleep, these
insights might be lost to the conscious mind.
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Eureka! Aha! Yahoo! Oh Yeah! Yes!

During immersion, failure to recognise that an interruption
(incubation) will be beneficial, might lead to feelings of defeat
and giving up (I’ve bit off more than I can chew).

Confidence, faith and courage, accompanied by a planned
incubation generally lead to a stage of illumination. There is
desire and an expectation of success in spite of feelings of
frustration.

There is a sudden, surprising flash of insight at an unexpected
moment as an insight is revealed, accompanied by feelings of
exaltation. An idea presents itself ‘out of the blue’ so to speak.
Cartoons depict this moment with a light bulb or a lightning
bolt. You have reached the peak of your performance or the
summit so to speak. There is a sensation of surrealistic
experience, a feeling of timelessness and weightlessness and of
being one with the universe.

There is a feeling of connectedness and a knowing and a feeling
that this is ‘right’. There is the feeling that one has arrived!
Evaluation of success at this point is internal and non-
judgemental.

This feeling may be brief, instantaneous or momentary. There
may be a feeling of pride and abundance. This may be followed
by doubts, anxieties and fears, such as fear of censorship, of
losing what one has gained, of standing out, of competition, of
failure, and so on.

Generally doubts are very short-lived and the person moves
onto the next level… integration. This can be facilitated when
the person realises that the idea is separate from him/her.
While you might be personally invested in your idea, your idea
is separate from your identity. You are not your idea. You are
more than your idea.

Perhaps one does not feel a flash of insight nor that one has
made ground breaking progress. All is not lost. Your groundwork
has been done and your work goes ‘underground’. Connections
continue to be made through your experiences, even if those
connections are currently outside your conscious awareness.
Have confidence – when you are ready, the idea will emerge!
18


After a new experience, the person evaluates the outcomes. An
assessment is carried out to determine if the solution is in fact
satisfactory. This involves a cost-benefit analysis of the solution
to answer the question - ‘does it work?’

One might consider factors such as:
• Does the solution fall within the budget and other
constraints?
• Does the solution give added value and benefits?
• Is the solution sustainable?
• How can I put this into practice?

This is then followed by a process of generalization and
synthesis. One reflects upon the meaning and value of the
solution and learning experience. One explores other areas to
which this learning can be applied. This includes generalizing
this experience as it relates to your life situation so that it can
adapt and improve your life. This does not have to be done
explicitly: a good practised learning automatically draws on
one’s ability for integration and assimilation.

I encourage you to consider the potential of a more informed
and deliberate process such as I-VOLUTION. Just giving
attention to any of the levels will certainly add value to your
experiences.

The person might consider the intrinsic benefits of the
experience to be valuable. Through sharing, the person might
also seek acknowledgement as well as to assess the social
acceptability of his/her findings. If any of these rewards are
judged to be sufficient, motivation is high for the next
challenge.

For example, you might read literally hundreds of self-help
books but have the impression of having made no real or lasting
gains. Part of the gains is the empowering inspiration and focus
you receive on a continual basis. This leads to small and gradual
yet significant changes. The best books are those that provide
opportunity for experience and integration, starting with where
the person is, and taking them through experiences that
become integrated in a natural way. Experience that empowers
through promoting self-awareness and personal power is the
most valuable.
19

The Power of Perception

Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.
Confucius

As a coach, I am occupied with adult learning and development.
All human interaction involves the dynamics of learning with an
altering or reinforcing of the perceptions of those involved.

The American Philosopher and Psychologist, William James
(1842-1910) had this to say: “Many people think they are
thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.”
Generally speaking, we learn from and assimilate our
experiences based on what we already believe to be true. In
other words, we act and react to ‘reality’ based on our existing
perceptions of that reality, no matter how we have come to hold
those views. We do not usually pause to examine our beliefs,
their origin and how to change these. Yet, we all share a natural
curiosity, the potential and under certain conditions, the desire
to do all of these things.

Our perceptions create our reality as well as the way we act and
react to situations. This reminds me of an excerpt I once read.
“Do not give permanent reality to temporary things.”
(Unknown) I believe this referred to giving permanent reality to
arguments, ill-fortune and real or imagined slights. I consider
this to be sound, and valuable advice.

My reflection on this is that if I fail once, (I might want to
redefine my perceptions of what constitutes failure and
success), I might want to ask myself ‘what positive value can I
see in this that I might want to keep?’ I can choose not to label
myself a failure, exaggerating the extent of this failure and so
creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. To me self-fulfilling prophecy
means perpetuating negative outcomes and circumstances
through our behaviour; be it physical, mental and/or emotional.
Confucius shared a similar view when he advised us to ‘Be not
ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes’.

I can choose to benefit from breaking or interrupting this habit
and cycle. I can deliberately choose to give certain experiences
over others a more permanent and sustainable reality.

20

The Power of Imagination

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
Confucius

Just one of the examples of the use and power of imagination is
the processing of information through replay and filtering
(exaggeration included) of certain aspects in our experiences
over others. This process is automatic, inevitable and therefore
habitual. This process can be deliberately changed to create
constructive habits.

From the above example, it is obvious that perception is
dependent upon imagination. Philosophers from the beginning
of time have always said that we create and recreate our own
reality through our very perception of that reality. There are
countless quotations that all tell us the same thing – what exists
in reality first existed in imagination.

Perception, creative thinking, visualisation, mental rehearsal,
dreams are all examples of the use of imagination. Planning any
activity and taking a decision, no matter how mundane, involves
visualising the future. Memory too is possible because of our
power and ability to imagine objects, events, etc. Life as we
know it is not possible without the use of our imaginations.

In fact, many cultures, for example the Aborigines of Australia,
believe that life as we know it, the world, our entire physical
reality was created through acts of imagination.

Imagination is ability, skill, a tool, a strategy, a technique and
much more. Studying the features of imagination can lead to a
better use of it. Paradoxically, one can only study its features
through its use.

Research has shown that the mind cannot tell the difference
between real experience and one that has been imagined in full
detail. The most celebrated example of the deliberate use of
imagination to improve performance is its use in sports
coaching. Sportsmen, especially golfers devote a huge amount
of their training time to mental rehearsal and practice
(simulation). When one researches other examples of where the
power of imagination is mobilized to improve performance and
enhance the quality of life, they seem to all have one thing in
common. That is, clear goals and outcomes!

21

We are surrounded by proof of the benefits of harnessing this
great power. What is imagination really? It is the ability to form
a mental image of something. I would replace the word ‘image’
with representation. While imagination is strongly associated
with mental images and mental pictures, many people have
other strong mental representations of objects and events.
Kandinsky, the famous artist, is said to have had a skill called
synaesthesia …. When he heard a sound, he saw a colour and
visa versa. With this ability you can even taste words! Can you
taste the word ‘lemon’?

Through imagination we create a mental ‘reality’ with
representations that include all of the five ‘senses’ and more –
feelings and emotions, amongst others. One can imagine a
sound; taste a smell, and there are many other possibilities.
For some people it is easier to see mental pictures, others find it
easier to imagine a feeling, and some are more comfortable
imagining the sensation of one of the five senses. Training of
the imagination gives the ability to combine all the senses –
synthesis or synaesthesia.

Imagination is the mental manifestation of what has existed and
of what could exist as a physical manifestation. For many
people, their inner realities are more real to them than the outer
physical manifestation. Their ‘inner experience’ is more
profound and real to them than their experience of the outer
‘real’ world.

Imagination can be a mental ‘manifestation’:
• Of what already exists
• Of what does not exist
• Of what existed in the past
• Of what did not exist in the past
• Of what could exist in the future
• Of what may never exist in the future

Whatever the features of imagination, collaborating with our
imaginations offers unlimited potential and opportunity.
Imagination promises success, satisfaction and happiness.
Imagination has been linked to the ‘Power of Attraction’ – if you
can imagine something you will attract it!

Be careful of what you ask for you might get it!

22

Passion2Performance

When I designed my workshop “Passion2Performance”, I was
aware that there were other equally appropriate and effective
options, such as:

• Get Real!
• Personal Power – The Seven Powers
• The Bridge to Personal Authenticity!
• Passion-Driven Performance
• Peak your Performance
• Raise the Bar
• Tailor-made Goals!
• Smartest-Star Goal Management
• You Always Get What You Want!
• Be Careful What you Ask For!

Formula for Self-Mastery

• Find your Passion
• Create Passion-Driven Goals
• Cultivate a Resourceful State

Whether your definition of mastery concentrates on
relationships, wealth, career, health or life enrichment amongst
others, there are 5 essential elements for success. Successful
people:

Know what they are passionate about.
Make sure their goals match their passions.
Use creativity to keep their passion alive.
Use their passion to drive their actions to successful
outcomes.
Nurture their resourceful state.

23

Phase I

Find your Passion

To your own self be true
William Shakespeare

Purpose:

This part of the workshop provides you with the OATS™ to:

help you explore what you are passionate about
help you see how your passions influence your behaviour
introduce the concept of personal authenticity
increase sensitivity to the positive energy tied to your
passion

24

Phase I

Find your Passion

To Be…
Or Not To Be
William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

The experiential exercises are designed to enable you to find
your passion follow the five natural levels of learning and
creativity to maximise their benefits.

Level 1 - Initiation
Level 2 - Immersion

For each of these five levels, the OATS used are:

• Opportunity Exercise
• Options Exercise
• Achievements Exercise
• Attitude – Perception Check Exercise
• Tools and Techniques
• State and Skills

The specific OATS™ used are:

• Reading/ Research/ Reflection
• Behavioural Interviews –through the use of facilitative
questions
• Reflections – through the use of inspiring quotations
• Free Association – through the use of prompts to
stimulate creative free thinking/ writing
• Brainstorming - to stimulate the generation of as many
options as is possible within a time limit
• Imagery Techniques – to facilitate visualisation of the
outcomes you want
• Universal Shapes Value Generator ™ - as a tool to
empower and enable you to access and optimize your
values, beliefs, passions and strengths
25

Opportunity Exercise

My Goal

My goal is to enable you to create and achieve goals that are
aligned to your values and beliefs as well as to your passions
and your strengths.

My Philosophy

Stated simply and briefly – I passionately believe that we all
want to experience success and mastery in our lives and we all
have the ability to achieve this.

• I apply a ‘humanist’ philosophy to my relationships.
• I am committed to mobilising one’s personal power
through promoting personal authenticity.
• I believe in deliberate and systematic goal setting and
self-management.
• I believe that confidence, motivation and commitment
come from goals and strategies that are aligned to one’s
personal philosophy.
• Creativity is the essence of a Resourceful State.

These factors represent my personal formula for self-mastery. I
call them the five pillars for a successful and fulfilling life...

26

Options Exercise

Creative Assumptions

My work is founded on the following assumptions:

• The source of our strengths is our passions
• Our passions are generated by our values and beliefs
• Our passions are the primary motivators and generators
of our actions

What assumptions and presuppositions do you make regularly
about yourself and others?

Which kind of thinking reflects your assumptions about yourself
and others?

• Win – Lose

• Win – Win

• Lose – Win

• Lose – Lose

27

Achievements Exercise

Creative Methodology

Change happens... it is Creative Change that needs a helping
hand

I will engage you in a variety of activities using my unique
system of experiential worksheets called OATS™.

I have designed OATS™ to source and capitalize on your unique
strengths patterns. This strengths-based approach ensures
greater motivation and optimal goal attainment and fulfilment.

Personal authenticity refers to self-determination of goals that
are congruent with your passions. This too, increases motivation
and as a result ensures optimal goal attainment (excellence)
and fulfilment. This process is regenerative - which means you
move forward from strength to strength.

What methodology do you favour?

• Do you start a project from your inner strengths or from
your limitations?
• Do you start a project from a position of personal power
or from a position of weakness?
• Do you start a project from a position of abundance or
from a position of lack?

28

Attitude – Perception Check Exercise

Positive Focus for Unconditional Abundance

We are what we focus upon all day long…

• What value do you give to genuineness, congruence and
personal authenticity?
• Describe a time when you gave priority to your values
and beliefs?
• Describe a time when you where grateful for what you
have?
• What are the limitations (conditions) you put on things
that causes a reduction on its’ perceived value?
• Describe a time when you only realised the value of what
you had when you lost it?

29


Experiential Learning or a Learning Experience?

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I
understand
Confucius

I utilise tools and techniques that promote experiential learning.
I believe real learning happens chiefly through personal
experience, for example, when being taught a skill; one learns
the skill through its use and application.

What kind of learning do you prefer?

• Being taught through lectures?
• Being shown something by means of presentations?
• Hands-on learning?

Learning through Reflection

When exploring any topic, it can be useful to begin by
answering reflective questions. I find the ‘six faithful serving-
men’ to be a valuable tool which I can apply to most tasks.

I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew);
their names are: What and Why and When and How and Where
and Who.
Rudyard Kipling

• What am I passionate about?
• Why am I passionate about it?
• When do I feel most strongly about something?
• How do I know that x is my passion?
• Where do I feel most energised?
• Who is someone I admire for their passion?

30

State and Skills

Embrace your Passion

Nothing great has ever been accomplished in the world without
passion.
Hebbel

Through the use of a quotation, you have the opportunity to
explore your passions. These questions serve as a ‘warm up’ or
initiation for this module. I find that my passions reflect my
priorities, principles, philosophy and paradigms.

• What do I think passion refers to?
• Why is passion important?
• When have I been most passionate about something?
• How do I feel when I am using my talents and strengths?
• Where do I get my motivation from?
• Who has impressed me because of their passions?

31

Level 2 - Immersion

Drive your Passion

Your passion is the steering wheel of your life. Take hold of
your passions to drive your life to success and fulfilment.

This exercise provides you with an additional opportunity to
explore your passions. Prompts can be a single word or a series
of words and even a picture, statement, quotation, or even an
ink-blot. These, like questions, stimulate and access your ideas
on a given topic. Prompts offer freedom and flow. Because of
their great potential for in-depth exploration, they are popular in
journaling.

Prompts to stimulate creative free writing and thinking:

I am happiest when….

I get most angry about…

Qualities I admire in others that I would like to possess myself
are…

32

Level 2 - Immersion
Options Exercise

Creative Brainstorming

Brainstorming is like rolling a snowball down a hill!

Brainstorming continues to be experienced by many to be an
extremely useful technique to create and generate options as
well as to facilitate exploration on any topic. The aim is to
generate as many options and solutions as possible while
suspending judgement. Initially, all options are taken to be
acceptable and as having equal potential. The objective is to
gain flow on the topic and to move toward rather than away
from, the solution and outcome desired.

Brainstorming is a natural tool and technique that anyone can
learn and practice to use with greater confidence. It is a positive
process, because it encourages an attitude of being non-
judgemental, open and flexible. It is self-generating and helps
one move from strength to strength.

Please use the following diagram to generate your strengths,
talents, skills and passions.

33

Level 2 - Immersion

My strengths are…

My talents are…

Passion Indicators

Passion indicators refer to the characteristics you would
probably observe in a person who is passionate about life, work,
a hobby, etc.

If you have ever been deeply engrossed in a task, hobby, etc.
you will find some of these descriptive words resonate with you:

Willing Motivated
Desire Aligned
Expectation Initiative
Intrinsic motivation Interest
Direction from within Enthusiasm
Purpose Peace
Self-directed Life is meaningful
Values Sense of belonging
Fulfilment Balance
Confidence Personal power
Energetic Essence
Heart Guided
Soul Driven
Focus Connection
Effortless Natural
Talented Gifted
Spirited Generous

34

Level 2 - Immersion

Habits

I believe human beings like to order their experiences and
develop certain systems to simplify their lives. I call these
systems habits. But sometimes our habits no longer serve their
original purposes and might even become dysfunctional – in
other words they get in our way.

This simple exercise demonstrates this. Fold your arms in a way
that you find natural. This probably feels comfortable and usual.
Now fold your arms the other way round. This probably feels
different… How do you find this experience? While change can
be uncomfortable, sometimes all it takes is small adjustments
done consistently before it starts to feel natural and
comfortable. Were you to relearn how to fold your arms, you
will find that in a short time you become habituated to this new
way!

List 5 things that reflect your passions, strengths, values,
beliefs, priorities and dreams.

1. ……………………..

2. ……………………..

3. ……………………..

4. ……………………..

5. ………………………

35

Level 2 – Immersion

Universal Shapes Value Generator ™

Instructions:
Draw each of the following five shapes on a single sheet of
paper. Position the shapes anywhere you please. You may
choose to represent a shape in a way that is most instinctively
meaningful to you.

Triangle
Circle
Spiral
Square
Cross

Now, alongside each shape on your drawing, write down one of
the five priorities, passions and strengths you identified in the
previous exercise.

36

State and Skills Exercise

Association

Instructions:
Write a list numbered one to five. Alongside each number, write
down the corresponding shape and passion/strength identified
in the previous two examples.

For example:
1. circle – success
2. square – foundation
3. spiral – progress
4. triangle – connectedness
5. cross – focus

1. ………………………………………………………

2. ………………………………………………………

3. ……………………………………………………..

4. ……………………………………………………..

5. ……………………………………………………..

37

Opportunities Exercise

Free Association

Instructions:
Now complete the following as shown in the examples that
follow. There is no right or wrong responses. This exercise aims
to stimulate a process of free association and needs flexibility
and being non-judgemental. It is not necessary to over-analyse
your responses. Feel free to make any adaptations you wish to
make the exercise more meaningful or fun for you!

This exercise reflects your achievements so far on this venture
of discovering and affirming your passions and strengths.
Continue as shown below, getting into the flow of the exercise.
The ideal is to complete the entire exercise without interruption.

38

Opportunities Exercise (continued)

Example:
The circle reminds me of cake
Cake represents celebration.
Celebration is important because it means there is something to
celebrate.
The cake is round like the sun
The sun is orange like fire
The circle is complete and whole.
I like to achieve my goals.

the 1----------------------- reminds me of 1a----------------------

1a--------------------------------------represents 1b---------------

1b-------------------------------------- is important because ------

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The 1----------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------- Like -------

---------------------------------------------------------- Like -------

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I want ----------------------------------------------------------------

39

Options Exercise

Sow a thought, and you reap an act;
Sow an act, and you reap a habit;
Sow a habit, and you reap a character;
Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.
Samuel Smiles

(PS. Sow your OATS and you’ll have something to smile about!
The first step in changing any habit is to state that habit in the
positive. For example, “to stop frowning” equals to smile more
often.)

Describe a situation where your habits reflect your values and
priorities? To facilitate your response you could include:

• What were your specific actions?
• What did you do?
• What did you say?
• How did you feel?
• What was your reaction?
• Does this reflect your typical approach in such a
situation?

40


Determination

• What have I managed to do successfully that required
perseverance?

• Why did I persevere?

• How have I successfully adapted to change in the past?

• When have I shown flexibility?

• Where have I proven that I can be optimistic and
confident?

• Who is a successful person I admire?

NB: You might have noticed that these questions have been
phrased in a way that elicits responses which open up further
exploration of the relevant behavioural elements. This is called
‘Behavioural Interviewing’. Behavioural based interviewing
focuses on the person’s specific actions in relation to specific
situations and specific tasks.

41


Feedback

You may refer any of the exercises that you have completed so
far. Please choose an exercise that was challenging to you. I
would like to suggest that you use the Universal Shapes Value
Generator exercise.

Explore the following:

• How did you experience carrying out this exercise?

• Did you experience any frustration?

• How do you feel when you are uncertain?

• What does it feel like to not know the direction, purpose
or outcome of an activity?

• When did you feel most comfortable (if at all)?

• Which parts of the exercises used your strengths?

42


You only realise how limiting your philosophy is when you
experience how liberating it can be!

For example, for a long time my philosophy included the
following ‘don’t criticise, condemn or complain’. Yet I still found
myself doing these things to a greater extent than I was
comfortable with. After many years, I realised that this motto
can better serve me if I rephrased it in the positive. My motto
became ‘Do compliment, connect and collaborate’. My new
motto is much more empowering and easier to live up to.

Another example of when my motto serves me well is as
follows... Being an accompanying spouse of a diplomat, I
relocate every three to four years. I decided to develop a motto
to empower me and to keep me focused on my goal to use
every move as an opportunity. My motto helps me to embrace
my transitions so as to create a life enhancing transformation…

Life goes on… only differently!

My artistic and computer skills have helped me to create digital
art and paintings to represent my philosophy. My art depicts
this motto by means of a magnificent butterfly emerging from
eggshells that open like oysters! I enjoy sharing my experiences
with other expatriates and have featured in various publications.

My motto serves as a point of reference and a ‘lighthouse’ to
keep me focussed and on track.

Speaking metaphorically, I believe your ‘Mission Statement’ will
prove to be the most useful tool you can have in your personal
toolkit. Your mission reflects your ‘purpose’ and your ‘personal
philosophy’.

Your mission can be represented by a statement, a quotation, a
picture, a photograph, a book, a movie, a poem, a fairytale, and
even a metaphor. I am sure you can think of other possible
ways to represent your purpose.

43

State and Skills

Revitalize, Renew, Refresh

Make a list of 5 things that you have found to be useful
whenever you need to relax and revitalise yourself. For
example, take a bath, go for a walk, have a cup of tea, etc.

1. ……………………………………….

2. ……………………………………….

3. ……………………………………….

4. ……………………………………….

5. ……………………………………….

Are you ready to start looking for a motto, quotations, painting
or any other tangible object that can serve as a visual
representation of your passion, goals and/or philosophy? Why
not start with the poem you created in the Value Generation
Exercise above?

44


Begin at the beginning… with the end in mind.

‘Begin at the beginning’ refers to starting with your passions
and your strengths. The ‘end’ refers to the results and outcomes
that you want. This module focuses on sourcing your passion
and your strengths with the aim to mobilise them to get what
you want.

List your priorities and the values that are important to you.

1. …………………………………

2. ………………………………..

3. ………………………………..

4. ………………………………..

5. ………………………………..

45

Options Exercise

Three Wishes

If you were given three wishes, what would you wish for?

…………………………………………………

………………………………………………...

………………………………………………….

Complete the following:

• If I won the lottery, I would …………..

• Wealth means …………………………………

• If I did not have to worry about money, I would …

46


How well do you know yourself?

• My virtues are…

• I consider my vices to be?

• My idea of an ideal vacation is…

• What I say most often to myself is…

• Three things I like best about myself are…

47


Personal Authenticity

Personal authenticity and personal development focuses on
aligning your values to your habits or visa versa. This exercise
helps you to source five of your values and to compare them to
five of your habits, or visa versa.

Write down five of your habits. Alongside each habit, write down
a corresponding value. NB. Please indicate whether you think
that habit supports (or is in conflict with) the corresponding
value.

For example:
Exercise – Good health and discipline
My commitment to exercise supports my values about good
health and the high value I place on self-discipline.

Habit Value Yes/No

Exercise Health and discipline yes

48


The Seven Habits of Peak Performers

Habits can be useful tools that support your values. In the same
way, your characteristics really refer to your habits. For
example, ‘The Seven Characteristics of Peak Performers’ can be
translated to ‘The Seven Habits of Peak Performers’.

Imagine that one of your values is ‘Good Health and Fitness’.
List at least 3 habits (behaviours), which would be aligned to
this value.

1. ………………………….........

2. ...............................

3. ...............................

List Seven Habits of yours that can support Peak Performance

1. ……………………………………

2. …………………………………..

3. …………………………………..

4. …………………………………..

5. …………………………………..

6. …………………………………..

7. …………………………………..

49

State and Skills Exercise

Character Traits

Habits can be useful tools that support your values. In the
previous exercise, you would have noticed that personal
characteristics are inevitably reflected in our habits.

Consider how the following characteristics can be reflected in
your behaviour:

1. Being flexible

2. Being curious

3. Being congruent

4. Thinking ‘Win-Win’

5. Being proactive

50

Level 5 – Integration

Self-Actualisation

As described earlier, a humanistic philosophy is one that focuses
on human potential. My core principle, based on this philosophy
is ‘each of us knows best the purpose of our existence
and we each have the potential to realise this purpose’.

The process of striving to realise your purpose in life is called
‘self-actualisation’. The basic assumptions is that humans have
a self-actualisation drive and each person knows best what path
to take to fulfil this purpose. Exploring your passions and your
strengths, I believe, will guide you in the direction of your real
purpose.

Principles that reflect this humanistic approach include integrity,
responsibility, and self-determination, amongst others.

• How do you think these principles can be reflected in
your behaviour towards yourself and others?

• List three of your habits that reflect a belief in yourself,
others, in your potential or confidence in your abilities.

• Think of a situation where you ‘do it anyway’ in spite of
anxiety or self-doubt.

51

Options Exercise

Fairy God-Mother

• If you had the power to give a gift of three principles to a
newborn, what would these be?

• If I had to choose three powers a newborn already has
and make a wish for these to never be lost, what would
these be?

52


Man in the Mirror

If you were to start with the ‘Man in the Mirror’, as the first step
to changing your ways, what would you do?

Look in the mirror and smile at yourself three times a day for
the next seven days. What would you say to yourself? Research
has shown that we all talk to ourselves all of the time. This is
called ‘self-talk’.

Pep-talk is when you talk to yourself or others to increase
motivation. You can choose to give yourself a mini pep-talk to
accompany your smile.

• What would you say to yourself?

• What words and sentences would you use?

• Think of a specific situation where it could be useful to
say more positive things to yourself.

53


Global Attitude

What general all encompassing attitude/approach do you have
towards yourself, others and life in general?

Which of the following characteristics best matches your overall
view towards yourself, others and life in general?

• Optimistic view
• Pessimistic view
• Realistic view
• Idealistic view
• Constructive view
• Magical view
• Your view?

54


Tools and Techniques to practise in this module include:

Self-talk which is saying positive things to yourself

Pep-talk which is deliberately telling yourself that you can do
something so as to increase enthusiasm and motivation

Affirmations which incorporate a compliment to yourself. For
example, ‘everyday in every way it is getting easier and easier
to drink two glasses of water by midday’.

Mantras are a more basic form of self-talk and pep-talk. One
repeats a short phrase or word over and over again (mentally or
out loud) to produce a kind of humming sound. It is said that
this sound causes positive physiological changes. It also
suspends judgement of the conscious mind to liberate your
reserves of life-enhancing energies.

Physiology modification is when you deliberately change
something about your physiology even for a fraction of a
second. For example, smile, sit upright, stand up and stretch,
and so on. It might be useful to study the non-verbal behaviour
of someone you admire and try it out in front of the mirror. This
serves as a way of focussing on your goal.

Positive Rephrasing is when one takes the undesirable
behaviour one wants to change, rephrasing it in such a way as
to become personally empowering. The undesirable behaviour
includes mental, emotional and physical elements such as
negative self-talk, anxiety, physical behaviour such as
procrastination, amongst others.

Put simply, select any behaviour or habit you want to interrupt
and restate it in positive terms, i.e. in terms of what behaviour
you would like to see more of.

In a way the undesirable behaviour is used as a lever, hinge or
pivot to help you define the desirable behaviour.

55

State and Skills

Believe in Yourself

The statement ‘believe in yourself’ might be called a cliché. This
is true when a statement is overused to the extent that people
no longer register its’ actual meaning. Paradoxically, such a
statement has reached this unfortunate end because of the
powerful meaning and message it initially conveyed.

If ‘believe in yourself’ was your motto, how would you show this
in your thoughts and other behaviour?

How you behave in a given situation will give you clues to
assess your values and strengths. These can be used as a
starting point to examine your passions and how they influence
your behaviour. This gives you the options and opportunities to
align your values to your behaviour or visa versa.

• I believe passionately in…

• I am willing to receive…

• When I am less playful, I need to re-connect. The signs
that I need to re-connect to my positive energy is…

56

Phase II

Create Passion-Driven Goals

Success if often, due neither to ability nor to courage, but
simply due to organising your creative energies around a goal.

Purpose


enable you to set goals to match what you want to see
more of in your life
enable you to set sensory evidence that would indicate
successful goal achievement
ensures your goals are more achievable through sourcing
and mobilizing your resources
helps you set realistic goals by activating and stimulating
the use of a more creative perspective
enables you to create a useful yet flexible time-frame in
which to achieve your goals
help you set goals so that your outcomes will be
congruent with who you are and what you really want;
and to give more sustainable and fulfilling outcomes
empowers you to take charge of your resourceful state
increase your motivation and commitment through
creating options and opportunities for immediate,
manageable and sustainable action

57

Phase II


Do the thing and you will have the power
Unknown

The module provides you with experiential exercises to enable
you to create passion-driven goals. The experiential exercises
follow the five natural levels of learning and creativity to
maximise your benefits!

Level 2 - Immersion



The specific OATS™ used are:

The Life-Balance/Peace Wheel™
SMART, SMARTER and SMARTEST STAR goal setting and goal
management technology
Brainstorming to generate multiple options and opportunities
NOSE™ analysis and the related SWOT and SWAT analysis to
enable you to set realisable goals
ROI – Return on Investment and Cost/Benefit analysis

58


The Benefits of Goal Setting

As a rule we disbelieve all the facts and theories for which we
have no use.
William James

The main use of goal setting is that it is a useful tool to manage
our needs. Goal setting is useful because:

• It helps us manage change
• It provides a context for our planning and resources
• It gives direction and meaning to our efforts
• It provides focus and purpose
• It helps manage our expectations
• It facilitates action planning
• It gives perspective by providing a timeline
• It indicates our position in relation to where we want to
be
• It increases commitment to ourselves
• It increases motivation
• It helps identify opportunities
• It opens up options and gives alternatives
• It teaches flexibility
• It provides choice
• It allows for self-determination
• It promotes responsibility
• It increases confidence
• It is empowering, giving a sense of personal power
• It allows one to be proactive
• It gives hope
• It prepares us mentally and emotionally for change
• It facilitates optimal use of resources
• It helps identify limitations and challenges
• It clarifies and sets expectations
• It helps use resources including time, finances and
energy more productively

59

Options Exercise

Men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that carry them far
apart.
Confucius

In our pursuit of need and value fulfilment, we develop patterns
of behaviour called habits. Habits are really an organised
system of goal management – a system we have developed to
meet our goals. Goal setting is about habits. ‘Habit’ refers to
repeated acts or behaviour patterns. Actions and reactions exist
in one moment of time but can repeat and perpetuate existing
circumstance. A question I will help you explore on a more
consistent basis is ‘do my goal setting habits support my
passions and skills?’

Your goals may have been formed haphazardly or they may be
outdated. Maybe they were formed to please others or for some
reason that is no longer valid.

Whether your goals need to be revised, adjusted or renewed; it
makes sense that you take time to deliberately develop a more
reliable system. It is logical to seek a system that positions you
advantageously. You want to manage your goals effectively so
that your goals can manage your life effectively.

Whether you choose to work with a coach or to self-coach,
successful goal management involves three crucial steps:

• Find your Passion
• Create Passion-Driven Goals
• Cultivate your Resourceful State

These steps are interdependent because success is only fulfilling
and sustainable, when it combines all three elements. Thus
when using any goal management system, you want to make
sure it respects your passions, values, beliefs and strengths.
Lasting and life-enhancing success depends on authenticity and
personal power.

60

When you set your own goals and decide how you will know
when you have achieved them, you will have the personal
power that you deserve. Moreover, you will feel more energised
and motivated to achieve your goals. This success will more
likely be aligned to who you are and is more likely to be long-
lasting and sustainable.

Do you have the skills and a strategy to set goals that are
creative and at the same time aligned to who you are and where
you really want to be?

This book will guide you so you can determine your own goals
and agenda. You will be empowered to choose goals that are
aligned to your core principles and purpose. You will determine
what positive results you want to see and you will determine
when you want to see those results.

Problem-management and opportunity-development goals will
be compared as well as the types of goals that might be
addressed in each of these categories.

You will be able to assess the value of using an existing pre-
designed model of goal setting and management. You might
choose to adapt an existing model to design a system that is
congruent to your values and preferences and based upon your
past successes and special skills sets.

You will be able to compare existing systems that have been
proven to be successful for millions of people and organisations
in varied contexts. You can assess the corporate SMART model,
the NLP adapted SMARTER model and whether there can be the
SMARTEST way still.

Whether you decide to self-coach or engage a coach, one of the
significant tools and techniques used is ‘prompting’. Prompting
is when the coach prompts the coachee through the use of
open-ended questions to facilitate and guide the process of
clear, creative and congruent goal and strategy determination.
Possible questioning that focuses on defining solution-oriented
outcomes will be integrated throughout my book. A related
technique, behavioural interviewing helps you focus on specific
situations, tangible tasks, actions and responses.

61

In addition, I will look at the SWOT, SWAT and NOSE analysis as
tools to fine-tune your goal setting strategy.

I have purposely emphasised creativity and innovation. This is
because you are creating the life, behaviour and outcomes that
you want. To ‘create’ is a natural instinct and talent. Whatever
we say or do or think, involves an act of creation. Some thought
or action exists now that did not exist in the moment before.
Consistent and repetitive ‘creative acts’, create a consistent and
sustainable reality.

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Solution vs. Opportunity-Development Goals

Problem-management/ Project-management
goals

Goals might be selected in relation to problems or difficulties
experienced. The person feels they are not coping or managing
the problem situation, frustration or concern. Therefore one’s
goal is to manage the specific situation, to come to terms with it
or to transcend it. Problem-management I believe should be
extended to include project-management. In France, coaches
talk about helping people manage their “projects”, pronounced
in French [pro-jay]. Projects can be anything from trying to lose
weight to organising a wedding.

In coaching, the individual is responsible for goal setting and
implementation. Any other people involved directly are usually
formal and informal resources, e.g. financial advisors,
accountants, dieticians, personal trainers, networked contacts,
mentors, etc.

Projects in this category might be:

• A person wanting to reach a certain target weight by a
set target date.
• A coachee sets a deadline to attain a certain target
income.

Imagine a genie emerging in a cloud of scented translucent
vapour from a golden magic lamp. You are promised unlimited
power and potential. All you have to do is visualise yourself
succeeding, once a day, for ten minutes only, for a period of
seven consecutive days.

Your wish is my command. What is your wish?

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Opportunity-development goals

If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as
my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and
imitate them and the bad points of the other and correct them
in myself.
Confucius

These goals focus on personal development, well-being, self-
mastery, quality of life and life-enrichment. The person wants to
make more of life and wants to feel happy, challenged and
fulfilled. These goals are related to missed opportunities or
unused potential and resources. One may be feeling blocked or
stuck in general or in specific areas.

Examples of opportunity-development goals are:

• The person would like to feel healthier and fitter and
more flexible.
• The person wants an interesting and stimulating career
which uses and develops his/her skills and potential.

To help you identify unused opportunities and potential, please
explore:

• What could I become good at if I focussed on developing
and using this one ability?

• Which opportunities can I focus on?

• What opportunities could I be paying more attention to?

• Which role models do I admire because I would like to
develop my similar talents further?

64

Holistic Goal Setting

Success is creativity transforming circumstance

It is recommended that goals have a combined focus in
problem-management as well as opportunity-development. The
person-centred approach believes in the person’s inherent drive
towards self-actualization. Therefore, even in a problem
situation or a situation that requires coping, a person would
often seek to become more and to become better. These goals
focus on improvement, adding value and developing unused
potential as well as creating new opportunities and addressing
missed opportunities. A contemporary movement that focuses
on this area is called Positive Psychology.

This is in keeping with the view that coaching is strengths based
and aims at empowering the person to go beyond coping;
towards personal development, fulfilment and happiness.

Balancing your goals will certainly balance your life. When you
strive to achieve goals in different categories, certain value
clashes might become evident. This is a great opportunity to re-
assess your values so that you no longer sabotage yourself…. Or
at least you will become aware of when you are doing it! This
also gives you the opportunity to increase the connection
between your conscious and subconscious abilities so that they
collaborate with you to create congruent outcomes.

65


The Right Tool for the Job

A tool and a technique is only useful if it helps you to get the
job done!

Potentially useful tools and techniques that may help you define
areas for change and improvement are:

• Behavioural interviews that seeks to explore specific
situations, tasks, actions and responses.
• Checklists such as those found in popular magazines
• Evaluation forms
• Satisfaction forms where you might be asked to rate
your satisfaction on different areas of your life, for
example, how satisfied are you, on a scale of one to five,
about your relationship with your boss?
• Questionnaires

These tools are adapted to focus on your personal or
professional life in general and even specific target areas within
these categories. The quality of these tools depends on their
depth and constructive focus.

Some useful questions you can begin to explore are:

• What would I like to focus on with a coach?
• What are my current goals?
• How would I know when I have succeeded in reaching
these goals?
• What other changes would I like to see take place in my
life?
• My current priority is…

66

State and Skills

Goal Definition

Think of a goal that is important to you. This goal can relate to
your personal or professional life. Please answer the questions
below:

• What is the goal I want?

• What am I prepared to do to achieve this goal?

• What outcomes will achieving this goal give me?

• What benefits do I expect?

• Does my goal have an end date?

• What resources may help me to attain this goal?

• What can I do right now (immediately) to introduce
these benefits into my life?

• Are there other ways to achieve similar benefits?

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Level 2 - Immersion

Goal Categories

There are as many different goals as there are people!

For the purpose of simplicity, I will identify certain categories of
goals. The interpretation of any category depends on the person
making the interpretation. Categories are not etched in stone
and one category can overlap with or include another category.
Any of these categories can be of the problem/solution-
management type and/or of the opportunity/development type.
It is preferable that any goal has both of these elements.

Goals under these categories could be as follows:

• Relationship/ Social
• Finance/ Wealth/ Abundance
• Education/ Skill development/ Personal Development
• Health/ Well-being/ Fitness/ Body Image
• Coping with Transition/Change
• Stress Management
• Time Management
• Leisure/ Relaxation
• Philanthropic/ Voluntary Work
• Work/Career/ Professional
• Spiritual/ Personal Development/ Personal Philosophy

Under which of these categories would the goal you just defined
fall?

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Level 2 - Immersion
Options Exercise

Start with one small step applied consistently and this will lead
to
Giant leaps!

Goal Category Exploration
This exploration uses tools such as interview questions and
prompts to explore diverse areas of one’s life. While the
exploration is extensive, it is by no means exhaustive. You may
start off by selecting just three areas to explore. These three
areas represent topics that you are drawn to. The assumption is
that low levels of satisfaction and/or imbalances will give you
clues as to which goals are your priority.

Family & Friends
• On a scale of 1-5, how satisfied are you with your social
life?
• Are you satisfied with the quantity and quality of time
you spend with your family?
• If you won the lottery, who would you share your
winnings with?
• If you were to set a goal regarding relationships and
communication, who would be part of this goal?
• Is there any relationship that could benefit from more
attention?

Partner & Spouse
• How did you meet your partner?
• What can you tell me about your partner?
• Do you and your partner have any goals in common?
• If you could improve one thing in your relationship, what
would that be?
• What is your idea of an ideal vacation with your partner?

Playtime & Leisure & Relaxation
• How do you enjoy spending your free time?
• What do you do with others for fun & leisure?
• What are your hobbies?

69

Work & Career & Professional
• What is it like for you at work?
• What are your responsibilities?
• What kind of relationships do you have
o with your colleagues
o with your supervisor
o with your subordinates
• Are there any specific factors you experience as
stressful?
• If money was not a concern, what job(s) would you want
to be doing now?

Money & Finance & Wealth & Abundance
• Do you feel stressed about money matters?
• What is important to you regarding money and finance?
• What kind of relationships do you have with money?
• Do you feel you have sufficient finances to lead the
lifestyle you want to lead?
• What were the values and beliefs your parents held
about money and finance?
• What are your thoughts about a wealthy life?

Physical Environment
• Does your physical environment contribute towards your
feeling of well-being?
• Does your physical environment reflect the way you want
to live?
• Does your physical environment support your goals?

Spiritual & Esoteric & Personal Philosophy
• What is important to you as far as spiritual growth is
concerned?
• What are your ideas about spirituality?

Education & Skill Development
• Could I benefit from further learning and education?
• Could I benefit from time management skills?
• Do I need to learn better ways of managing stress?

70

Health & Fitness & Well-being & Body Image
• What is important to you when you consider your health?
• Do you or members of your family have specific health
concerns?
• Would you consider yourself to be a fit person?
• What are you most happy with about your body?
• Are you happy with your age?
• Do you consider yourself as having a good memory?
• To what extent are you satisfied with your:
o Sleeping habits?
o Eating habits?
o Exercise habits?
• Do you consider yourself as someone who gets stressed
easily?
• Do you use any techniques to cope with stressful
situations and feelings?

Personal & Professional Development
• Are you satisfied with the education you received?
• What is important to you in your personal development?
• What vices do you dislike in yourself or others?
• Are there any particular values and beliefs that play a
strong role in how you live your life?
• What virtues do you admire in yourself or others?
• Who are/were your role models?
• Are there any strengths that you make regular use of?

Coping with Transition & Change
• How do I cope with transition and change?
• Do I welcome or resist change?
• Do I like change for the sake of change?
• Am I open to learning?
• Am I open to new experiences?
• How attached am I to my comfort zone?
• To what extent am I attached to my habits?
• To what extent do I need to be in control?

71

Level 2 - Immersion

The Coaching Wheel – Life-Balance Wheel

There are many techniques to translate your responses into a
format that is more useful to you. Many have found graphical
representations to be particularly user-friendly. They provide a
clear, concise and easy to read indicator to guide goal definition
and to focus one’s efforts.

A commonly used representation is the Wheel of Life or Life-
Balance Wheel. In its most basic form, this is a circle divided
into eight segments where each segment represents a different
aspect of your life. Each segment is labelled according to the
topic you wish to set goals in.

This is also known as the Life Satisfaction Wheel since it can be
used to reflect your satisfaction with selected categories of your
life. For each segment, e.g. social/relationships, one indicates a
level of satisfaction rated from one to ten. Least satisfied is
represented by the centre as zero, five would be halfway up the

72

line and represents average satisfaction, while ten is greatest
satisfaction and coincides with the outer ring of the circle. A line
is then drawn across the segment to indicate level of
satisfaction.

It might be that there are multiple additional “dimensions” all
relating to one single topic or theme. For example, under
social/relationships you may want to elaborate on friendships,
family, work relationships and one’s relationship with a partner
or even a single status that one wishes to change. In this case
additional relationship segments would be marked and other
less relevant topics would be replaced.

Once the Wheel of Life or Life Balance wheel has been marked,
one is sufficiently prepared to choose the segments to work on.
This translates into a Coaching Wheel which serves as the next
level in goal setting.

In a coaching relationship, the coach enables you to prioritise
goals and to choose a goal to work on. A coach will help you to
determine whether it’s social relationships, family relationships,
friendships, relationship with self, work relationships or
relationships with figures of authority that you wish to focus on.
It might turn out that there is an underlying theme to all of your
relationships. For example, the coachee believes he/she has to
please everyone but can please nobody. The coach will then
help the coachee state this as a positive outcome goal – ‘I want
to build rapport with x, y, and z. I want to be confident in
expressing my ideas and in saying no when I need to.’

The advantage of the wheel is that you can make comparisons
to assess how balanced your life and goals really are. There are
some useful questions you could answer:

• Which segments am I most satisfied with?
• Which would I most like to improve right now?
• What is the relationship between segment X and
segment Y?
• Does my concentration on segment X result in difficulties
in any other segments?
• What goals can I set to make my life more balanced?
• Are there certain segments that when put together show
a certain pattern?

As with any system, this one too can be adapted to serve its
function in different contexts.

73

Level 2 - Immersion

The Peace Wheel

The Peace Wheel is an adaptation of the Life-Balance Wheel.
The significant difference is that the Peace Wheel has three
primary areas of focus. Each primary area has two
corresponding areas. This represents a goal and two related sub
goals. For example, a health goal might be generally stated as ‘I
want to weigh 135 pounds by (state date)’. The related sub
goals could be a fitness goal and a dietary goal which focuses on
dietary changes that include for example, reducing coffee
intake, substituting red meat with white meat once a week, and
so on.
The Peace Wheel, when used in this way relates more closely to
goal exploration than to representing satisfaction in different
areas of your life. Like with all other tools and techniques, the
benefits might be greater if you tailor the technique to your own
needs. There are many interesting and exciting alternatives!

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Level 2 - Immersion

Models of Goal Setting

I will set forth a well-known model of goal setting and build
upon it in examples that represent the process of tailoring and
the logic behind it. You will also be able to predict the additional
benefits that become available through the tailoring process.

In my representation of the SMART model, I offer alternatives
that might not have been put forth by the initial model.
However, this model has been interpreted and reinterpreted to
make it more contemporary and to increase its usefulness –
frankly that is all that matters.

Therefore, I will offer some variations which I may have used or
researched. From my research and experience, I have found it
useful to include the following five components in my
assessment:

A Mission or Purpose Statement
• Why do I want to achieve this outcome?

The Scope Statement
• What do I aim to accomplish through this goal?

The Goal Tangibles
• What results and outcomes will I be able to experience
when I achieve this goal?

Measurable Milestones or Success Indicators
• What will I see (hear, feel, touch, etc.) that will indicate
that I have achieved a step forward in the direction of
attaining my goal?

The Resource Estimates
• What resources do I need to achieve this goal?
• What resources do I have?
• How much time do I have at my disposal?
• What more do I need to have to achieve this goal?

75

Level 2 - Immersion
State and Skills

Sub-Goals

• Select one of the life categories from the preceding
exercises. Write down a goal.
For example, Health - I want to lose 6 pounds in 21
days. This can be restated to give the goal weight and
goal day.

• Can your goal be restated in terms of incremental steps?
For example, I want to lose an average of 2 pounds per
week. This means that I want to lose 2 pounds in each
seven day period for a total of 21 days (three weeks).

• Three things I am willing to do to achieve this goal are…
For example, keep motivated, exercise and diet.
You may represent these three points in many ways. I
find the mind map or the peace wheel works well.
To create a mind map, list these three sub goals one
under the other.
o Keep motivated
o Exercise
o Diet

To create a Peace Wheel, write a sub goal in each of the
three inner segments of the drawing.

• For each sub goal, decide on two tasks that will help
achieve this goal. For example.
o Keep motivated - visualisation and keeping a
journal.
o Exercise – move more and walk 10 minutes extra
per day.
o Diet – drink water and replace the 4 cookies at
breakfast with a bowl of cereal.

These tasks can be represented by branches in your mind map
or by filling in the corresponding segments in your Peace Wheel.

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SMART

SMART is an acronym developed by the corporate world to guide
goal management. Each letter recommends a specific criteria
that your goal definition meets. These are as follows:

S Specific
M Measurable
A Achievable
R Realistic
T Timed

Specific

The person thinks about his/her goal in clear, precise and
concrete terms. The outcome statement that is made is
complete and has sufficient detail that it needs no explanation
or further clarification. This means that anyone else reading it,
can form a clear picture of what you want to achieve.

There are prompts to follow and questions to answer which can
facilitate this process. Answering any of the following pairs will
help create clear and specific goals.

• What do I need?
• What do I want?

• What specific results do I want to see?
• How does this translate into a tangible outcome?

• What do I want to do better?
• What do I want to see more of happening in my life?

Finally, is my goal stated in the positive. In other words, is my
goal stated in terms of what I want rather than what I do not
want.

77

Options Exercise

Measurable

In general terms, goals and outcomes must be clear, complete
and well-formed. Success is measured against particular
performance standards. These are also referred to as yardsticks
or benchmarks to success. The individual determines what
tangible results he/she wants to consider as being acceptable
indicators of success. He/she must be able to receive sensory
feedback or evidence whether objectively quantifiable or not
that indicates where he/she stands in relation to the goal set.

Milestones are usually set at regular intervals. In other words
these are logical, measurable points in the person’s progression
towards a goal, for example, when losing weight, the milestone
at the end of each week is if the coachee is 2 pounds lighter.

Questions that may help are:

• How would I know I have succeeded in reaching this
goal?
• How would I know if I am there yet?
• What would that look like?
• How will I know that these changes have taken place?
• Will others be able to see these changes? In what ways?
• How will I recognize my achievements?
• What according to me would be indicators of exceptional
achievement, acceptable achievement and unacceptable
achievement?

When working with a coach, the coach encourages you to
continually review your progress towards your goal. You will be
helped to reassess at set points, whether there are significant
changes in circumstances that would warrant changing the
original parameters for success and perhaps even the goal itself.
The coach gives you the opportunity to modify your strategy
depending on whether you feel the goal or outcome-definition
has become inappropriate or unrealistic.

The coach will usually remind you to consider resources such as
a health professional or a financial advisor!

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Achievable

If you can dream it, you can become it.

To assess if your goal is achievable looks at whether you have
the inner and outer resources to achieve it. Most people would
say that if you have a dream and you are really passionate
about achieving it, then success can be achieved.

It is also said that if someone has already achieved this goal,
then it is achievable.

Some models may replace the word achievable with a synonym
such as ‘attainable’.

The SWOT Analysis is a tool to evaluate how achievable or
realistic your goal is. This is also known as the SWAT Analysis
when one examines achievements instead of opportunities.

When working with a coach, the coach will help you to use tools
such as the SWOT analysis to assess your current resources to
achieve the result desired. The coach will also help you to
identify additional resources that may be needed. You will be
able to conduct a gap analysis. This means you will compare
your current position to your outcome position. In simple terms,
you will work out what the gap is between the two and to how
to close this gap.

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SWOT Analysis

Strengths What resources do I need to achieve this
goal?
Do I have what it takes to achieve this goal?
If not, what can I do about it?

Weaknesses What is standing in the way of my achieving
this goal?

Opportunities What opportunities would help me achieve
this goal?
What opportunities can I create consistently
to help me achieve these results?

Threats What external limitations are currently
preventing me from achieving this goal?
Do you see any other additional challenges in
the near future that might get in the way of
you achieving these results?

• How can your beliefs influence your perception and
judgement in deciding whether a goal is measurable,
achievable and realistic?

judgement in carrying out the gap analysis?

judgement in assessing strengths, weaknesses,
opportunities and threats?

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Realistic

There is overlap between an achievable and a realistic goal. A
goal is realistic as measured by a combination of your current
position, timing/scheduling and other crucial factors such as
resources available and limitations.

It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop
Confucius

To decide if your goal is realistic, you can answer the following:

• Do I have the inner and outer resources necessary?
• Am I willing to give what it takes on a consistent basis?
• Is the level of effort required sustainable over the period
required?

Some propose that the R should stand for results-focused.
When focusing on results, you might consider:

• What am I hoping to gain?
• What would I like to accomplish here?
• What is the reason I want to do this?
• What am I seeking to accomplish?

81

State and Skills

Work expands to fit the time available.
Unknown

Timed

Timing refers to your goal being set within a schedule of an
immediate, a short term and a long term goal. In other words,
the goal is tied to a specific timeline. This is also referred to as
‘time frame’ and ‘target date’. Short terms goals are directly
related to the long term goal and are to be achieved within
‘shorter’ periods of time. Short term goals are progressive
outcomes leading to the end result (long term goal).

When determining the target date for your goal, you decide on
the following:
• When would I like to see that happen?
• What steps do I think I can take to reach that outcome?
• Can I break this goal into incremental steps, with each
step having a deadline?

It is recommended that you also ask the questions:
• How can I bring that into my life right now?”
• What results can I bring into my life now? In a week
from now? In a month’s time? In a year from now?
• How will these results be evident in my life 5 years from
now?

To work out the overall time estimate to achieve your goal, it is
essential to break down your project into bite-sized pieces or
chunks. This process is called ‘chunking’.

Instructions to draw a goal map:
• Represent your goal by one single word, write it down.
• Below this, one next to the other, write down a single
word to represent each of the steps (sub-goals).
• For each sub-goal, you can draw a fan-like structure,
itemising the tasks involved. The results of this exercise
will give a map of your goal. This graphic representation
of your goal can effectively guide your actions like a map
would.

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Summary

The benefits of goal setting and management are that you are
able to move more deliberately and purposefully towards
achieving your set outcome. Here is a summary then of the five
criteria as proposed by the SMART model:

• Goals must be specific
• Goals must be measurable
• Responsibility for achieving the goals must be accepted
• Goals must be realistic
• Goals must have a time component

The SMART model is equally useful when you have multiple
goals. After a smart analysis, you are in a stronger position to
prioritise your goals. This will help you choose which goals to
start working on first. Answering the following questions will
help you prioritise:

• Which goal is most urgent?
• Which goal will give immediate benefits?
• Which goal will have the most impact on my life/ work?

In conclusion then, an acronym is a simple memory technique
that is applied so you can remember the necessary steps to
follow to complete your task.

An acronym can give you additional focus when the word
formed represents a particular meaning. For example, the word
‘smart’ represents being clever. This can be developed further to
create motivating mission statements and quotations. For
example ‘I did it the smart way’.

83


Working out Benefits

When choosing which goal to work on, you can conduct a
Cost/ Benefit analysis. This can be as simple as dividing a
page into two halves and writing the costs on the left hand side
and the benefits on the right hand side. If your benefits are
higher than your perceived costs, it is a good indication to start
working towards your goal.

The corporate world also refers to this as ROI – Return on
Investments. In layman’s terms this is called weighing the
pros and cons. It is also known as weighing the advantages over
the disadvantages.

In the same vein, you can decide what you stand to gain from
using a model such as the SMART model. How can a goal setting
model help you achieve your goals?

Costs Benefits

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Options Exercise

SMARTER

Be careful what you ask for, you might get it.
Unknown

The SMARTER model is an expansion of the SMART model and
has been proposed by NLP practitioners.

NLP is an abbreviation for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. The
three aspects of behaviour can be defined as follows:

• Neuro refers to the neurological processes that are
carried out in our central nervous system. Of particular
relevance is how the brain functions so we can process
information.
• Linguistic refers to communication – the processes of
how we communicate with ourselves and others through
verbal and non-verbal language activity.
• Programming is a term adopted from Information
Technology and refers to the sequences of activity that
make up our habits or systems we use to carry out any
type of activity.

NLP has to do with studying successful behaviours and then
imitating these as a pattern or sequence to speed up learning.
NLP is a synthesis of existing theories on how people learn and
succeed. It was developed so others could model all three
aspects of behaviour to produce similar successful outcomes.

NLP practitioners aim to identify common patterns that are
evident in particular activities. This approach seeks to define
underlying threads of excellence that can then be used as a
checklist when one deliberately models that excellence. This is
perceived to be more effective than a trial and error approach.

85

Achievements

NLP in Goal Setting

Based on observation of effective goal management practices
such as SMART, the following are the principles that have been
identified to be characteristic of successful goal attainment:

• Well-formed outcomes
• Sensory Awareness
• Behavioural flexibility
• Immediate Action
• Ecological
• Response and /or Resources

Well-formed outcomes

This is also called outcome thinking as you are thinking in terms
of specific outcomes you want to achieve. If you can define
what it is that you want, you can then deliberately move
towards achieving it. This of course refers to focusing on what
you want, which is a positive focus, instead of focusing on what
you don’t want.

Sensory Awareness

This refers to being deliberately alert and filtering information
using as many of your senses as possible with a particular
positive purpose in mind. For example, when defining what you
want (desirable outcomes), using all of your senses fully and
extensively can guide you to define what you will see, hear,
feel, smell, etc. that will signal to you that you are achieving the
results you want. Using all your senses in outcome formation
means that you will be more focussed on the necessary
feedback that will help you to evaluate outcomes and to guide
your behaviour.

86

Behavioural Flexibility

Behavioural flexibility refers to learning to be flexible. The
reasoning behind this is that if you are clear about what you
want, you become more flexible in adapting your behaviour and
adjusting to unexpected developments. This gives you increased
control and personal power as your central focus of resources is
deliberately towards the desired outcome. Flexibility in mental,
physical and emotional behaviour is thus a personal resource to
be consciously developed to ensure success in any situation.
This approach is also followed by CBT (Cognitive Behaviour
Therapy), amongst others. Related to this is that the coachee is
encouraged to change behaviour that is not giving the expected
results.

Immediate Action

Once goals are set, the coachee has the greatest chances of
success if he/she takes immediate action.

Ecological

In NLP emphasis is on the ecology of the goals set. Because
beliefs and values are so central to NLP coaching, this looks at
motivation behind the goals set and takes into consideration
secondary benefits or pay-offs which might be
counterproductive.

This approach addresses the person’s perception of the
problem. The coach uses various tools and techniques to
empower the coachee, for example, positive reframing or
relabelling elements in a positive way so the coachee feels less
intimidated or overwhelmed by the task.

The NLP philosophy encourages one to become more sensitized
to the cause-effect relationship between action taken and
outcomes experienced. One is encouraged to differentiate
between desirable and undesirable outcomes and to assess as
to when perceptions might need to be adjusted or realigned.

87

Response and/or Resources

Response refers to tangible and intangible sensory feedback
responses or evidence that the coachee expects to experience
as a result of goal attainment. These success/achievement
indicators are defined by the coachee when the coach prompts
with questions such as:

• How would you know you have achieved this goal?
• What would you feel? Hear? Taste?

Encouraging “sensitivity” through prompting for sensory
evidence helps the coachee take the responsibility for
continuous assessment.

The SMARTER way of goal setting especially emphasises the use
of the powers of perception and imagination to achieve
successful outcomes.

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Responsible Goals?

1. Which of the following goal setting criteria appeal to you?
2. Which of these criteria do you have difficulty with?
3. Which of these criteria match your personal philosophy
most closely?

• Well-formed outcomes

• Sensory Awareness

• Behavioural Flexibility

• Immediate Action

• Ecological

• Response and/or Resources

89


The ER-Factor

The acronym SMARTER can be represented as follows:

S Specific
M Measurable
A Achievable
R Realistic
T Timed
E Ecological
R Resources/ Response

Do you think there are benefits in the additional ER-elements?

90

State and Skills

SMARTEST STAR

This section aims to provide you with the tools and skill to adapt
an existing goal management framework to generate a
framework that you find to be personally authentic.

I have generated the SMARTEST STAR Model for goal
management in coaching in an effort to integrate what I
consider to be essential elements in goal management.

The five presuppositions on which my model is based are as
follows:

• Goal setting must be based on the core principle that a
person has unlimited power and potential.

• It is essential to deliberately apply a system to guide the
setting and successful management of goals.

• Success is directly proportional to using the Seven
Powers which are:
o The Power of Passion
o The Power of Collaboration
o The Power of Experience
o The Power of Creative Thinking
o The Power of Perception
o The Power of Imagination
o The Power of Connection

• Goals should be self-determined

• To be personally authentic, the person must consider the
consequences (ecology) of his/her actions.

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Acronyms and Synonyms

S Specific
M Measurable
A Achievable
R Realistic
T Time-line
E Ecological
S State
T Take Action

Specific

Answering a series of questions leads to well defined goals and
outcomes. I find it useful to apply the ‘six honest serving men’.

I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew);
their names are What and Why and When and How and Where
and Who.
Rudyard Kipling

For example:
• What do I want to accomplish?
• Why do I want this?
• When do I want to attain this?
• How will I know I have achieved this outcome?
• Where will I start?
• Who might be affected by my pursuing this goal?

Specific offers synonyms such as Exact, Precise, Detailed,
Explicit, Definite, Unambiguous, Particular and Literal

92

Options Exercise

Measurable

I emphasise setting goals in incremental steps which I call
setting ‘Measurable Milestones’. Measurable could be substituted
with alternatives such as meaningful, manageable, or magical
depending on your focus. Synonyms for measurable include
Quantifiable, Assessable, Calculable and Controllable.

When using the SMARTEST STAR, you may decide to change the
order that the steps are represented in. You might decide to
substitute synonyms that start with the same letter, or you
might choose to represent an existing letter of the alphabet with
a completely different step. Remember, the model is only useful
in that it serves a meaningful function for you.

The two most important resources you will need are the abilities
to imagine successful outcomes and your ability to keep a
journal.

It is widely accepted that it takes 21 days to learn a new habit.
When working on a goal, I recommend chunking it into sub
goals of periods of 21 days. This can be further broken down
into periods of one week.

Can you focus on your goal one week at a time?

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7



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Achievable

Visualise one of your achievements…

• Have I achieved this, in some form or other, before?
• What would I need to be able to achieve this outcome?

Possible alternatives to achievable are Attainable, Acceptable,
Action-oriented, Alternatives, Possible, Reasonable, Manageable,
Abilities and Capacities.

Your ability to visualise yourself achieving your goal will
determine your actual success! In the same way imagining
yourself ‘realising’ your goal, will help make it realisable!

Any goal management system should incorporate time on a
regular and consistent basis, to visualise and experience goal
achievement in your imagination.

94


Realistic

Realistic goals are obtained through exploring questions such as
‘Am I able to make these outcomes real? Alternatives to realistic
can be Pragmatic, Relevant, Results-oriented, Rational and
Reasonable.

Resourceful

You can assess how realistic your goal is in terms of your inner
and outer resources. This includes the seven powers, your
health, and your network of family and friends. While goal
setting is self-determined, you usually need to make use of
formal and informal, external resources such as the services of
a coach and mentoring by a friend.

I have added a fun element to my model to help me assess how
realistic and resourceful my goal is. I ask myself the question ‘Is
my goal as real as the NOSE on my face?’

The acronym NOSE™ represents:

N Network
O Options and Opportunities
S Strengths and Skills
E Education and Experience

I find this useful as it reinforces the criteria which I wish to
emphasise.

For your practice, please think of a goal that you are currently
striving towards. What are the criteria that you considered in
deciding that you can realise this goal?

Using this acronym is empowering and helps me focus on the
positive strengths I possess and that get stronger and stronger
every time I use them.

95


Time-Line and Timed

The central point of any goal is the situation of your goal on a
timeline. The T-factor refers to a goal being Time-based,
having a Time-frame, Time-line, Target date and being Time-
bound. T can also represent that the goal be Tangible, Trackable
and Traceable.

While your weekly and 21 day planner helps you track your
goal, this can be supplemented by keeping a daily journal. In
your journal, you can assign a page a day to your goal. The
benefits of doing this include a deliberate focus on personal
development.

Below is an example of a page from such a journal.

Day 1
Date: …………………..

Quotation
There are 2 great things in life. These are knowing what I stand
for and doing something daily to carry that forward.

Achievements Checklist
1. focus (time-line work)
• I visualised past success and achieving my goal in the
future
• I kept my journal

2. diet
• I drank water
• I ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast instead of 4 cookies!

3. exercise
• I walked
• Twice, I chose to do something interesting instead of
sitting on the couch watching television

What I did well is…

96

Skills and State

Ecological

The ecology of the goal refers to two points. Firstly, the person
determines his/her goals. Secondly, the person always considers
the consequences of his/her actions on him/her (self) and
environment (others).

State and Strengths-based

I recommend that your goal be skills-based. This means your
goal uses and builds on your inner resources and earlier success
and achievements. Goals should also always be challenging (the
“stretch” factor). This criteria also focuses on cultivating a
resourceful state which is really about adopting a positive
attitude and approach to your goals.

Take Action

The goal is stated in such a way that you are able to take
immediate, concrete and tangible action. Emphasising little
actions which when applied consistently, build up to bigger
actions is certainly a formula for self-mastery!

97

SMARTEST STAR™ Model for Goal-Management

I believe that the SMARTEST STAR is currently the most
comprehensive system for successful and fulfilling goal
management.

You are now able to apply the SMARTEST STAR model to any
goal you want to achieve. Why not test your knowledge by
defining a health goal using this model?

98

Glossary

There are certain concepts that are inevitably tied into the
process of goal setting. These are agenda, results, outcomes,
and purpose.

Goals refer to ones goal definition. A goal is a clear and specific
statement/definition of what one wants. It is empowering to set
goals in terms of what you want rather than what you do not
want. The focus is positive and acknowledges your strengths
and potential. Your energies are focused on moving towards
what you desire rather than moving away from something you
do not want. The goal is your objective or the target you want
to achieve.

Agenda is generally associated with meetings where it sets the
overall focus of communication. Plans of action decided on in
the meeting are directly related to the set agenda. For example,
in coaching, the working alliance is to direct resources towards a
specific project. The coachee sets the agenda for all future work
together. The agenda provides all communications with a
structure and a context. The agenda is marked or itemised by
specific goals that are set. The coachee would often have
multiple goals some of which he/she has not had the
opportunity to think out or articulate before.

Results refer to the intended end product one desires. Results
are generally used interchangeably with the term ‘outcomes’.
Success is measured as the extent to which the results achieved
correspond to the initial goals set. Results are stated in terms of
solution-focussed outcomes whether the results are in problem
management, opportunity creation or personal development.
The coachee defines the criteria or indicators of success. In
other words, the coachee defines what the measures of success
are.

Purpose refers to one’s overall intentions and direction. For
example, when I set goals, I make sure they promote my
overall purpose, which is to empower myself and others

Outcome or an optimal outcome is when one achieves the
goals one has set out to attain. These include all the
consequences of goal attainment whether these are positive or
not. All benefits or pay-offs, whether planned for or not,
constructive or not are considered to be the outcomes/
consequences of goal attainment.
99

Project refers to any sequence of tasks with a beginning and
an end. The project is defined in terms of a specific or general
time-frame. Any project involves the use of certain resources
and aims to produce a particular outcome which may be in the
form of a product or service. In my view this outcome is always
unique as it involves the coachee’s own individual set of
circumstances, values, beliefs, perceptions, challenges and
limitations.

Resources refer to things and people you engage in order to
achieve your goals. This includes the time, talents, tools,
techniques, skills, people, money, books, objects, equipment,
and services that are used to realise a project. I personally
believe that creativity and ‘state’ are your greatest resources.

100

Phase III

Cultivate your Resourceful State

Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds,
can change the outer aspects of their lives.
William James

Purpose


• Bridge the gap between where you are and where you
want to be - congruency
• Help you focus on aligning your success to your passions
and strengths
• Give you insight into how you form and therefore can
change your perceptions
• Make deliberate choices regarding your state, habits and
attitude
• Energise and renew yourself using your Resourceful
State
• Calibrate your state through developing visualisation
skills
• Provide you with options, opportunities, tools and
techniques to cultivate and mobilise a resourceful state

101

Phase III


The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves but in
our attitude towards them
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

This module gives you opportunities to source, cultivate and
mobilise your resourceful state for successful and fulfilling
outcomes. The experiential exercises follow the five levels of
learning and creativity to maximise your benefits!

Level 2 - Immersion



The Specific OATS™ used are:

• Sourcing your State
• Behavioural Interviews
• The STAR model to elicit sensory evidence
• Circles of Success™
• Positive Reframing
• Stepping into Success™
• Anchors and Triggers

102


Treasure Hunt

Imagine that you are starting a new and exciting adventure.
You have found a treasure map and have all the tools and
resources you need to dig for an immense fortune. You will
succeed.

• Can you imagine yourself preparing for this journey?

• What preparations would you make?

• What expectations do you have?

• What do you focus on when you think of your quest?

• Can you picture yourself with the treasure in your hands?

103

Level 1 – Initiation
Options Exercise

Island of Wonders

You have reached your destination on the Island of Wonders.
You have 21 days to reach your treasure. You have a map of
the area. At the end of each week, you will reach a signpost that
indicates the correct path to take for the next seven days. You
are fully prepared for anything that comes your way.

• What are you thinking?

• How determined are you to succeed?

• What are you prepared to do to reach your treasure?

• Are you thinking about how you will feel when you get
there?

• What are you thoughts about what actually having that
treasure can do for you?

104


Five Senses

This is a simple experiential exercise to help you to become
aware of your senses and how you use them in your
experiences. This exercise helps you to increase your sensory
awareness. A primary assumption is that a person forms a
representation of his/her outer reality through using his/her five
senses.

If I asked you to salivate, you will not be able to do so. This
command connects with the conscious mind which is powerful
but does not exert as great a power over the body as the
subconscious.

Now, imagine yourself in your kitchen making lemonade. Take
time to focus on each sensory element… Imagine 5 lemons…
you are halving the lemons before you juice them.

When carrying out this visualisation, take time to consider how
you represent your experiences by means of your senses using
the diagram as a guide.

What other details did you notice?
Which of your senses provide you with the most detail?

105


Five Senses – Expanded

Use the example of the lemons above.

Gustatory Taste
Does your mouth water?
Are the lemons very sour?
Do you notice a tangy taste?
Would you add sugar to make lemonade?

Olfactory Smell
What does lemon smell like?
If you were blindfolded, would you notice the
difference between the smells of oranges and
lemons?

Visual Sight
What colours do you see?
Do you notice tonality?
Are the colours bright?

Auditory Sound
Do you hear background sounds?
Can you hear the juice flow and splash into
the container?
Do you hear sounds of glass, metal, etc?

Kinaesthetic Touch, weight, movement,
spatial position & balance
Where are the lemons in relation to you?
How are they arranged?
Are they lying on a table or stacked up like a
pyramid?
How does the liquid feel on your skin?
Are the lemons cold to the touch?

106


Visualisation Technique

We are what and where we are because we have first imagined
it
Donald Curtis

It is said that the brain cannot tell the difference between a real
experience and one imagined with sensory detail. For this
exercise, you will have an opportunity to use the STAR tool to
help you generate a vivid and detailed mental picture of a past
achievement. Training your imagination will help you succeed in
your goals through optimizing goal setting and management.
You will learn to use visualisation to increase motivation,
anticipate success and to put yourself in a resourceful state so
that you can use your resources optimally for success.

Think of a success and visualise your experience with as much
sensory detail as you can.

Situation Imagine a specific situation

Task Visualise the specific tasks you had
to accomplish?
What tools and techniques did you
use?

Actions, Approach What were your specific actions?
What did you do?
What did you say?
How did you feel?
What was your reaction?

Response, What resources did you use?
Resources, Results What were the results?
What was the outcome?
What were the most desirable
outcomes?

107

State and Skills

Sensory Preferences

Take the example of your success experience again. This time,
emphasise the elements represented in the table below.

Gustatory Taste
What taste sensations do you experience?

Olfactory Smell
What smells do you notice?
Is someone wearing perfume?
Are there flowers in your image?

Visual Sight
What colours do you see?
Do you notice tonality?
Are the colours bright?

Auditory Sound
Do you hear background sounds?
What are you saying?
What other voices and sounds do you hear?
Do you hear sounds of glass, metal or
paper?

Kinaesthetic Touch, weight, movement,
spatial position & balance
Where are you situated?
How are you positioned?
What is the temperature like?
Who else is there?
What objects do you notice?

Which senses do you prefer using?

With practice, you will be able to calibrate your state without
referring to the table.

108


Circles of Success™

This section consists of an experiential exercise that will help
you to prime, enhance and calibrate your Resourceful State.
Resourceful State in essence refers to being in a state of mind
that is aligned to your purpose.

Focus on the rings of the circle. Each time you meet a word,
focus on those characteristics of your personal success. Enhance
the sensory detail to make your success so real that you are
reliving your feelings of achievement and fulfilment.

With practice, you will be able to calibrate your state without
the diagram if you choose. I like to think of this time as my
‘Prime Time’.

109

Options Exercise

Attentional Aspect

All of the exercises so far, encourage you to become more
aware of sensory input and when to choose to deliberately
increase or decrease your receptivity to certain sensory data.
Part of this includes learning how your body and your
subconscious communicates with you through physical
sensations and even through your dreams.

Some feedback is more obvious than others and is not as easily
ignored. For example, a feeling of having butterflies in ones’
stomach indicates that you are excited or nervous. The feedback
that is less intense is more easily bypassed. For example, mild
irritation you experience with a particular person. It might be
that you do not notice or pay particular attention to these
feelings (too busy, feelings are mild, etc.). You may have a
vague feeling about this. These feelings will affect your
communication and behaviour around that person. You may find
you are more abrupt, more aggressive, silent and avoid that
person. It might be that these feelings of irritation grow over
time and you suddenly and seemingly out of context ‘lose your
temper’ or say or do something seemingly exaggerated and
inappropriate.

This exercise aims at helping you become aware of any situation
that gives rise to the feelings described above. You can imagine
a situation where you experience mild irritation with someone.
Become aware of and focus on your thoughts.

• What are you telling yourself about that person?
• What are you telling yourself about how you feel around
that person?
• Do you feel justified in feeling the way you do?
• You can probably think of an advantage or two to
continue keeping that person at a distance?
• Do your feelings towards that person result in you feeling
stressed?
• How does your body react to these feelings of stress?
• Do you feel a change in your resourceful state that might
increase your feelings of dissatisfaction?
• What are the negative outcomes if you continue to feel
this way?
• What do you want to do about this?
110


Progressive Muscle Relaxation

The following exercise takes 2 minutes of your time. You may
actually do the exercise or imagine yourself doing it. This is not
hypnosis and you will be as awake as you are in this moment.
You may interrupt the exercise at any moment. The exercise
helps you experience sensory awareness while at the same time
you will remain objective.

Sit or lie in a comfortable position. Pay attention to how your
body feels when you are comfortable. Start from your toes and
work your way up… wriggle your toes… and release… flex your
calf muscles… and release… uncross your legs… breathe in and
feel your breathe go all the way down to your lower body… and
exhale… wriggle your fingers… and release… focus on your
shoulder muscles… flex… and release… your arms are
uncrossed… relax your neck… smile… twitch your facial
muscles… shut your eyes… and then open them… listen to the
sounds around you… imagine them getting fainter and fainter…
blending into the background… then louder and louder… to its
usual level… look around you and observe different things… look
at these as being separate from you… you are a scientist
studying these sounds and your environment… you are
objective… you are curious… wonder why… you are wide awake
and feeling better than before… you are alert and refreshed…
you are relaxed!

This exercise is useful in stress management. It also helps you
develop self-awareness so that you are better able to align your
state to your situation and tasks. It also helps you to quiet the
conscious mind to liberate the life-enhancing powers of your
subconscious.

111


Feedback and Sensory Acuity

The current hype is on increasing sensitivity. It is true that
many people can be said to be insensitive to the feelings of
others. Many people can be said to be totally unaware of their
surroundings or of their feelings. Some might be so centred on
themselves that they pay attention neither to others nor to their
surroundings.

It is widely accepted (though over-generalised) that women are
more sensitive than men. Scientists study the biochemistry of
the two sexes hoping to find physiological explanations for this.
Some even claim to have found significant differences that can
be accounted for in this way. It might just be that men and
women are sensitive and less sensitive to different things. Of
course these differences can lead to miscommunication and
relationship difficulties.

It has been found that there are also many people who can be
seen as being too alert. They are so sensitive to input that it
becomes self-limiting. Perhaps they notice every change in tone
during a conversation and draw conclusions based on this. They
may have a low threshold for pain, or cold, amongst other
things.

It is beyond the scope of this book to address extreme cases of
this phenomena. I am hoping to simply point out that for
whatever reasons, there is a difference in how people perceive
information. These differences have their advantages but they
also have their limitations. Paying more attention to how you
perceive data, will increase your awareness to the fact that
others might perceive data in completely different ways.

When you realise this, you can pay greater attention to the
feedback you are receiving. This feedback gives you an
indication of the other person’s response. You are then in a
better position to choose how you want to adjust your behaviour
to get the outcomes you desire. You do this already all the time
anyway. Paying more attention to feedback has obvious
benefits, for example, it can help you in a situation where you
need to communicate with someone of a different cultural
background. When in Rome…

112


Synaesthesia

There is much more to perception than sensory awareness and
sensory acuity. Sensory awareness is not a straightforward
process of receiving information through your senses. There are
many people who possess a special ability called synaesthesia.
They receive different sensory information through different
senses – some of their senses work simultaneously in unique
ways. For example, the person can hear a colour or see a
sound. The first documented case of this was in 1690. Plato
talked of it and in 1911, the Russian-born artist Kandinsky tried
to explain how it works.

Today research has found that at least 1 in 2000 people have
this ability. We have reached a point in time where even people
who do not have this talent want to be seen to have it. More
relevant however, is that synaesthesia is no longer a ‘harmless
condition’; neither is it a talent that only a privileged few have
at their disposal. Instead, we are exploring how people can be
trained to develop this ability so that we all can benefit from it.
We have progressed from the traditional explanations of the five
senses, intuition and extra-sensory powers (ESP).

Thus, it is widely accepted that common stimuli can evoke a
multitude of unique emotions and states and therefore
behaviour in different people. Perception is a unique experience
that produces unique variations in values, beliefs, habits and
state (frames of mind). These in turn will alter a person’s future
patterns of perception.

Humans must necessarily filter information in order to process
it. Filtering is a habitual process of selecting certain information
over others in any given situation.

Do we create our own reality through our perceptions?

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State and Skills

Somebody Stop Me!
The Mask

Sensory Parameters

While sensory perception in itself is not a straightforward
process to explain, there are many simple strategies to use it
more effectively!

It is a simple matter of paying attention to different sensory
parameters to access a different perspective so as to shift or
expand your perceptual experience. Sensory parameters refers
to any information that you are able to access through the use
of one or more of your senses.

Expanding your sensory parameters, increases your options and
the opportunities for success. Increased options and
opportunities increases your potential range of behaviour. This
makes behavioural flexibility possible. It becomes possible to
interrupt limiting behaviour so as to try other options. If what
you are doing is not working, do something different! This
is one of the core principles of NLP – in fact, of any change
effort.

This is also called creative thinking. The assumptions of creative
thinking are as follows:

1. There is a solution
2. If there is a solution, I can find it
3. I can find the solution… it is within my potential to do so!

One of the most effective techniques to increase your
behavioural flexibility is by simply shifting your perspective.
Identify a seemingly harmless habit, that is standing in the way
to successful goal achievement. For example, eating fried
chicken for breakfast! Say out loudly to yourself a statement
you regularly make to others or yourself about this habit,
(usually in a boastful way) “I know I should lose weight, but I
love my food!” Imagine yourself saying this statement to the
queen, a baby, an elephant and a mouse. Pretend to be Mickey
Mouse or the Mask or any cartoon character that has a distinct
and exaggerated manner of talking……. Imagine yourself doing
this now. This is often an instant cure!

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Creative Filtering

There is nothing tall or short, but filtering makes it so

Filtering is a way of dealing with complexity. Filtering refers to
habits of patterning that help us process data.

When we process data, we pattern information. This is a process
of making comparisons, viz. we assess incoming information to
other information. We process one set of data relative to
another set of data. For example, what do you think of if I ask
‘What was the size of her living room?’.

While filtering is a vital and useful process, it can also create
limitations that can stand in the way of your success and
happiness. There are many filtering techniques that we all use
naturally in order to survive. Each technique is rarely used
independently of the other techniques. The four principle
techniques with their corresponding filtering habits that are
more easily identified are:

• Deletion or Exclusion
• Exaggeration
• Addition
• Generalization

115

Options Exercise

Deletion or Exclusion

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook
William James

A person is bombarded with millions of bits of information at a
time. Naturally this cannot all be processed. The person is
obliged to pay attention to and process a significantly smaller
amount of this information. In so doing, the person ‘leaves out’
or ignores certain parts over others.

Exactly what the person chooses to ignore and what the person
chooses to pay attention to, depends on past programming. This
programming or automated processes is learned through
conditioning.

The person, for example, will pay more attention to information
that he/she perceives to be relevant. If a person is passionate
about the colour purple and does not have strong feelings about
the colour grey, he/she will not even recall having seen the
colour grey but will be able to tell you what purple objects were
present. He/she might even comment that there were fewer
purple objects than there were of any other colour!

You will notice this difference when in the company of others of
a different sex, or age perhaps. Parents might have to remind
their children to focus. If you are going through a particular
experience, you might suddenly notice others in identical
situations. For example, if you are considering buying a certain
type of car, a mini; it will suddenly appear as if there are more
minis than usual on the road. You are paying attention to
different data and filtering out the rest!

One example of where deletion becomes problematic is the
person who pays more attention to negative information and
filters out the positive. I remember this saying from a Dale
Carnegie course I attended “Once I did bad, that I heard ever;
twice I did good, that I heard never”.

Can you think of an example where you use deletion?

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Exaggeration

Exaggeration, is a combination of deletion and addition.
Exaggeration, like with all filtering techniques, gives more
attention to one type of data over others. It usually includes
magnifying (adding) information that others might not be able
to perceive in that context. One might even be accused of
seeing things that are not there!

An expression you might have come across is “he likes to
make a mountain out of a molehill!” While all filtering can
be said to be distortion, exaggeration is the clearest example. It
also has the potential to be the most limiting or the most
empowering of all the distortions!

An example of where exaggeration can be useful is the practice
of calibrating your state. A more well-known expression for this
is ‘accentuate the positive’. Exaggeration is the stuff good
humour is made of. It is also an excellent memory technique.
Exaggeration is commonly used to help people cope with their
anxieties, especially, a fear of public speaking. The anxious
presenter is often advised to imagine all of their audience as
being naked, or tiny, or doing something peculiar. It can also be
useful to imagine the audience giving you a standing ovation.

Catastrophising is making mountains out of molehills! The
person often adds information based on their fears or anxieties
usually based on having to face an unfamiliar situation or task.
The person tries to predict the event based on incomplete
knowledge or on past events he/she thinks might be similar. It
usually happens when you are emotionally invested in the
event, for example, your image, a family member and a new
relationship that ‘has to’ work.

• Can you identify when you or others around you
exaggerate or catastrophise?
• Have you had positive experiences with exaggeration?
• How do you approach unfamiliar situations that are
important to you?

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Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds,
can change the outer aspects of their lives.
William James

Addition

Addition is when one adds to information when processing it.
This may be because one expects to see, hear or receive that
information. It might also arise from connecting certain pieces
of information in a particular way. It becomes a matter of ‘you
will find what you are looking for’.

Mind reading and drawing premature conclusions are typical
examples of a limiting use of this technique. Mind reading at
its worst is when a person thinks others are thinking badly of or
have negative intentions towards him/her.

An effective technique to beat this limitation is to ‘fight fire with
fire’. What this means is that, for example, you are talking with
someone and that person suddenly break rapports by looking
over your shoulder. What conclusion would you make? What
conclusion would you make if you believed the other person
thought you were dull?

Cocktail Party Effect

The ‘Cocktail Party Effect’ refers to our ability to pay attention
and follow one conversation out of many in a noisy
environment.

What are the factors that affect your ability to tune in during
conversations. The ability to distinguish speech in a noisy
environment is almost entirely learnt. To be able to follow a
conversation, one makes use of past learning. We have to learn
to access certain clues and cues to which we add information to
be able to make sense of our experience. These cues include
what was said before and even lip reading. The person therefore
needs to position him/herself strategically to the others to be
able to access these cues.

118

If someone appears to tune out, there could be a multitude of
explanations. It could indicate that you need to gain a deeper
understanding of your interaction style and its impact on others.
You may need to modify your sentences, not cover your mouth
or to not mumble when speaking and so on. It might be that the
person is distracted by echoes, lights or some other events in
the background.

Do you know that due to circumstances, such as loss of sleep,
preoccupation with other things amongst many other factors, a
person finds it harder to filter out the irrelevant.

Tips:
One way to control a tendency to mind-read is to add a different
set of information to your assumptions.

• What positive assumptions can you make that will help
fight this tendency?
• Think of or seek more positive alternatives for what is
happening.
• Become less certain of your prediction and give the other
the benefit of the doubt.
• Build up your self confidence through cultivating your
resourceful state.
• Re-align your perspective by working out a technique so
you do not take the other person’s behaviour personally.

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Generalizations

A great many people think they are thinking when they are
merely rearranging their prejudices
William James

Generalization is a skill that is constructive and useful in
learning. It can however become limiting when it gives rise to
prejudice that is to the detriment of others. The person,
through learning and experience makes certain associations, for
example, when it gets dark, it is night. This is not always true
though. Children in particular might have difficulty
understanding that darkness does not necessarily mean night
and brightness does not mean it is not bedtime.

Many jokes and riddles are based on generalizations and other
filtering habits. The success of the jokes and riddles is
anticipated as one counts on the other person filtering
information in a certain way. For example, what appears twice
in Summer and once in Autumn but never in Spring? Find the
answer at the bottom of the page!

In the same way, when one notices certain predominant
characteristics that seem to apply more to one group of people
compared to any other group that you have encountered, you
may form a blanket opinion. If it is a characteristic that can be
perceived to be negative and is then applied to others who are
perceived to be similar to that group, this gives rise to
prejudice. Prejudice has a destructive purpose and is not
ecological as any benefits are at the expense of one party.

Because filtering is a natural, essential and creative way of
processing data, it is useful to be open to examining how we
filter information (our perceptions, values and beliefs), so we
can become more constructive in its use and application.

Filtering techniques have been learned and can be relearned in
a deliberate manner. (the answer to the riddle is the letter ‘m’).

Faulty or limiting generalization if usually referred to as over-
generalization.

120

To emphasise, filtering is essential to learning, creativity and
coping with change. For many reasons, one might learn to filter
information in a way that is no longer useful. It might simply be
that you would like to learn a more effective and beneficial way
to filter data.

The main function of filtering is survival. A person’s filtering
limitations really become evident at times when change and
new learning is required. This is especially evident during major
transitions. The most accessible transition experience for us to
study is that of expatriates.

There are times where everything is perfect in the new country
(honeymoon stage). There are times when one forgets bad
memories of one’s home country and perhaps sees only
obstacles in one’s new country (Culture Shock).

One is able to observe as expatriates move through different
stages trying to survive in their new environment. Through each
stage different filtering techniques become predominant. The
person can learn how to become habituated to these stages that
are necessary for successful coping. When the person learns to
help these natural filtering processes along, he/she will not only
cope, but his/her experience becomes a life-enhancing one.

Emotional Branding

Pay attention to all forms of advertising you encounter in the
next 2 days. What filtering techniques do they take advantage
of, to limit your choices?

Practically all advertising techniques are based on associations
as these provide a direct connection with your subconscious and
therefore has the greatest potential to influence your decisions.
Advertising takes advantage of your existing associations to
create new ones to their product. This is called emotional
branding. Advertising is not directed at your conscious mind.

The main technique used is calibration. Some examples of this
is zooming in or zooming out, increasing the size or decreasing
the size of an object, increasing or decreasing the sound,
exaggerating, using colour or black and white, and many more.

121

State and Skills

Exploring your Resourceful State

Which of the following represents your perceptual preferences?

• Sensory information
• Sensing plus Emotional Analysis
• Sensing plus Logical Analysis
• Sensing plus Intuition
• Sensing plus Reflection or Philosophical Analysis
• Sensory plus Aesthetic Analysis
• other

When you think of a past success and enhance the positive
elements of that experience you will feel more of that state. Can
you remember the last time you received good news… you felt
uplifted … you felt like you were walking on air… practically
floating. You did something spontaneous… perhaps you
screeched with delight, or you did a little dance, or you lifted
someone off the ground. You might have given the closest
person a hug or a kiss.

These examples demonstrate the power of your Resourceful
State. I hope it also demonstrates that this is a natural process
and also that it is very easy to enter into. One does not need
extensive or complicated strategies to use this power. Neither
does one need lots of time to do this. You already have the
ability to freely and effectively enter into your resourceful state.
You have the tools and techniques to self-manage your state.
The more you use these tools the better they will serve you.
Everyday in everyway, this ability is getting better and better…

You are the only expert regarding your state. You know best
what you feel and how to alter this. You are in the best position
possible to receive and interpret feedback your body is giving
you.

122

You might find it useful to brainstorm ways that have worked for
you when you needed to change state in the past. What gets
you in a good mood and what gets you in a bad mood. A good
mood is a mood that is aligned to enhancing the intrinsic quality
of your life. A good mood refers to getting in the mood that is
aligned to your success in the task or situation you have in front
of you.

To explore the tools that support you to achieve success and
happiness, you will find it useful to start with the following
questions:

• What music makes me feel positive?
• What music relaxes me?
• What do I find most relaxing?
• How do I best revitalise myself?
• Which people do I enjoy being around?

Think of ways to improve your mood using each of your senses.
You will also find it useful to consider ways to accentuate the
positive by using your seven powers.

What other thoughts give you a warm and happy feeling? –
flowers, a smile, a compliment, witnessing an act of kindness,
the unconditional love and innocence of a child, the smell of a
rose…

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Level 4 – Innovation

Stress Management

You are not your thoughts
Your thoughts have the power to support you or limit you
You have the power to change your thoughts

This is the foundation of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. CBT
focuses on the way people think so as to help them create the
emotional states and behaviour they want. The focus is on
habits and how to change one’s ‘state of mind’ through the use
of a systematic approach.

CBT has made great advances in helping people overcome
anxiety and cure phobias. The basis of this is research on
mental associations and the meaning one gives to things. In this
exercise we too can benefit from the decades of scientific
research and progress made in this field, especially regarding
anchors and triggers.

Through learning the process involved in how we set anchors
and learning to identify the (activating) events that trigger
these anchors, a person can control his/her thoughts, feelings
and behaviour.

CBT explains how a person’s thoughts are based on his/her
values, beliefs and perceptions which in turn gives rise to the
meaning the person assigns to events. Remember ‘nothing is
good or bad but thinking makes it so’. This is what philosophers
have been telling us from the beginning of time. The thoughts
then influence the person’s emotions, physical sensations and
thus behaviour.

Fortunately, this is an expansion of the stimulus-response model
that was more applicable to laboratory animals than to human
beings. People can control their conscious minds through a
willingness to access and liberate their subconscious minds.
Humans are able to assign meaning to and interpret events
through more sophisticated processes than do animals.

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Defining and managing your goals as well as avoiding to define
and manage your goals, gives rise to ‘Stress’. This refers to
the emotional and behavioural response to a stimulus (event)
and is commonly called the ‘fight or flight’ response because it
will drive you towards or away from the event.

It is also a useful indicator of your emotional state. Your
response might cause you to become immobilised or to avoid/
flee the event.

Emotional Intelligence is when you are able to recognise the
feedback you receive from your body and choose a strategy to
deal with the event. Your response, whether liberating or
limiting, is always directed at managing these feelings of
‘stress’.

• How does my body tell me that I’m feeling stressed?
• A signal for me to realise that I am being immobilised by
stress is… loss of humour, self-neglect, impatience and
sleep disturbances.
• How can I increase my emotional resilience?
• In other words:
• How can I increase my ability to become more flexible
• How can I increase my tolerance for frustration?
• How can I increase my ability to deal with change and
complexity?

125

Options Exercise

Mindfulness and Demand Language

The activity of paying closer attention to how you filter
information is called mindfulness. When you become more
aware of self-limiting habits, you can turn them around to
create habits that will bring you success and happiness.
Mindfulness is done in the spirit of unconditional positive regard,
which is a willingness to accept one’s faults and mistakes in a
non-judgemental way. This is based on the premise that a
person is not equal to his/her thoughts, feelings and behaviour
but can change these.

Spend the next day examining your talk and self-talk for
thoughts and beliefs that contain words like the following:

• Must
• Should
• Ought to
• Need to
• Have to

These thoughts and beliefs fall under the category of ‘demand-
language’. The presumption is that everything can be
categorised in terms of black and white. All behaviour, thoughts,
emotions, and so on, can only fall into the one or the other
category. When one sets such a limitation, it leads to
inflexibility.

A good exercise to expand one’s flexibility is to consider
replacing these words with other options and alternatives such
as prefer to, might, wish, want to, amongst others.

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Word Associations override Sensory Evidence

Scientists continue to study our senses and how we use them.
Controlled studies show that when being taught new smells, the
label affects the person’s ability to differentiate between the
smells. A label of mushroom substituted for fresh muesli results
in the same substance smelling entirely differently!

Labelling serves as a perceptual filter. When there is a
discrepancy between sensory evidence and the label, the person
gives more credibility to the label. On the one hand this
indicates the level of challenge a person faces when trying to
change faulty filtering. However this would be a false
conclusion. It is easier for somebody to change his/her habits
when the new association can be aligned to core values and
beliefs.

This is another reason that advertising can be very successful. It
uses a label which it anchors to your existing associations. By
creating a strong enough image, the label is given credibility in
your subconscious mind. Becoming aware of how this is done as
well as knowing what you really want, will help you retain your
freedom to choose.

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A picture is worth a thousand words. A positively-framed one is
worth even more!

Positive Reframing

Accentuating the positive is what positive reframing is all about.
This is not to be confused with positive rephrasing.

Positive rephrasing, for example, is the process of defining what
you want instead of what you do not want. The goal statement
“I do not want to waste my money on frivolous items” can be
rephrased to form positive phrases of what you really want.
Therefore, “I want to use my money on items that will add value
to the quality of my life”.

Positive reframing is any thoughts and activities that reframes
anything in a more positive light. It is a process of looking for
and enhancing the positive features of a situation, object,
person and thought.

There are countless examples of where this is done all the time.
For example, if you want to sell your home, or you are
expecting guests; you would probably tidy up and rearrange
things to enhance what you already have.

One does the same when trying to look slimmer or dressing up
for photographs or to impress someone.

Giving compliments focuses on one or two features and
emphasises these over others. This is a form of
acknowledgement that is highly valued and has a positive
impact on your relationship with the other. The person might
not even have considered that feature to be unique or special.

When you compliment yourself, it is called an affirmation.
This is what sourcing your strengths is all about. You look for
signs of positive qualities and emphasise these. This
confirmation gives your strength the respect it deserves and so
increases its’ potential.

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A self-help strategy called Couéism developed the affirmation
“every day in every way I’m getting better and better!” If you
were to practice using your imagination on a daily basis,
wouldn’t this be true. You can say ‘everyday in everyway, my
imagination is getting better and better’. This is true for
any skill that you wish to learn and develop. This strategy
specifically aims at helping people to tap into their vast reserves
of health-giving energy.

This technique is also called autosuggestion though it has
nothing to do with willing the conscious mind to obey your
commands. Repeating your affirmation rapidly like a mantra,
aligns the conscious and subconscious minds so that they can
work together. Positive reframing is particularly useful when a
person feels stuck due to filtering out the positive while
simultaneously giving too much importance to negative
features. At times such as these, it can be useful to work with a
coach, or use a strategy that gives you access to a different
perspective. The following are a few more benefits of positive
reframing:

• It is useful when you are feeling overwhelmed. A new
perspective will help you reconnect to your resources and
give you hope.

• Positive reframing helps you to unlock your potential.
Your attitude and limiting self-talk lead to limitations or
barriers to success and happiness.

• To encourage a more balanced perspective you can learn
to give yourself and others positive reinforcement
through acknowledgment of good intentions. You might
learn to ask questions such as ‘what areas of this
situation are worth keeping?

• Positive reframing helps you to pose questions to
yourself and others in a more positive frame. Others will
react in becoming less defensive. The potential of this
approach is evident when you keep your focus on the
constructive outcomes you want.

• When keeping your journal, a sure strategy to keep
motivation and commitment up, is to regularly write a
list of 5 things you did well that day. If you are unable to
generate this list, it might be a signal to start working on
a new perspective!

129


Ergonomics – converse ecology!

Your environment can support you or sabotage your efforts for
success and happiness. It is essential to create an environment
and lifestyle that is congruent and aligned to your core
principles and your goals.

Ergonomics is when you manipulate or arrange your
environment so that it supports your health and enhances your
quality of life. This can be as simple as following the basic
principles of interior decorating, which is, that your environment
creates harmony through creating circumstances and conditions
for stress-free living and achieving. Some of the ways to do this
are to simply use your common sense and trust your instincts.
You might decide to go the Feng-Shui way, which refers to the
ancient Chinese way of creating a harmonious relationship
between the person and his/her environment. Other examples
include the use of sound therapy, colour therapy, and even light
therapy to uplift your spirit.

Ergonomics is about arranging your physical environment in
such a way that it supports your goals and the habits you wish
to nurture so that they become easy and natural.

Studies have shown that office workers are happier and more
productive when allowed to take personal belongings such as
family photos and plants to the office.

If connecting with yourself is one of your goals, you might find it
helpful to keep at hand, a journal, a book for inspiration and
pen and paper to jot down your thoughts. A supportive
environment offers options and opportunities to renew, cultivate
and mobilise your resourceful state.

• What do you watch on television?
• What do you read?
• How do you arrange your environment for romance,
good sleep, healthy eating, etc?

130

State and Skills

Bend like the willow… do not resist like the oak!
Unknown

Anchors and Triggers

As we are a self-organising system, we develop systems and
habits to make our lives easier. We develop these habits for the
explicit purpose that these habits will then manage our
behaviour. Habits can be assessed in terms of ‘anchors’ and
‘triggers’. Anchors are like signposts – these are the
associations we make to fix certain behaviour patterns to
corresponding circumstances. These anchors can then be
triggered by the corresponding circumstances (which signal the
cues for behaviour).

Talking about habits might bring to mind memories of the times
your habits got the better of you. This is the case because you
probably tried to break your habit through sheer will power.
Adding the power of your imagination, will give you lasting
success because imagination creates the experience and
associations necessary for congruent connections!

Using the imagination, communicates directly with the
subconscious. Anchors can use existing positive images that are
already associated in your subconscious. Create anchors that
have positive meaning to you and will therefore give you the
results you want.

An example of setting an anchor to trigger a resourceful state is
the use of metaphor, fairytales and fables. My favourite fable is
that of the willow and the oak. The oak makes fun of the willow
that bends and waves around in the breeze. He declares that
the willow is weak in allowing himself to be blown around. He
advices the willow to stand up stubbornly and ‘resist’ the wind.
When a strong storm raged one night, the oak resisted and the
willow swayed. Many hours later, the oak had lost many
branches to the storm while the willow had only lost a few
leaves. This fable could mean many things. For it to be useful to
you, you can assign it a positive meaning. It could be a symbol
of being true to yourself, or of not being swayed by others
advice. To me it is a symbol of being able to adapt and to be
flexible.

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When the will and the imagination are at war, the imagination
invariably gains the day.
Émile Coué

Cultivating your Resourceful State

Choosing to entering your resourceful state is about choosing to
feel positive in specific situations so as to empower yourself to
carry out certain behaviour.

Begin by defining what qualities and emotions you would like to
be associated with your Resourceful State.

• Calm
• Confident
• other

Therefore an example of your goal statement might be:
I want to feel calm and confident when I communicate with X so
as to be able to work constructively on this project.

At this point you may write down three specific behaviours you
want to see yourself engaging in. For example, your goal is to
build rapport with X, so you decide to:

• Accept compliments with a smile and gracious thank you.
• Smile
• Instead of saying ‘yes, but’ say ‘You have a point. I also
think that … might work’

Think of a person with whom you would like to build rapport?
Apply a goal setting method of choice to this goal. For example,
SMARTEST STAR – specific, measurable, achievable, resources,
timeline/timed, ecology, state (skills) and take action!

You might want to add specific situations, tasks, actions and
attitudes as well as the results desired, i.e. the STAR factor!

132

Options Exercise

Creative Change Chronicles

Ink it to link it!

Diaries, journals and other ways of recording information is
still considered to be one of the simplest and most helpful tools
to bring you success and happiness with any goal! The act of
logging your progression towards your goals gives incredible
benefits. The act of expressing and reflecting on your feelings
and perceptions adds to these benefits.

I refer to this process as the Chronicles of Creative Change
since it also serves to chronicle your change experience. It is
also an opportunity to stay focused and to reflect on and
address any challenges your are facing. It is a relaxing activity
that maintains your optimal motivation and serves as a good
memoir of your experiences. It can serve as a means of getting
something off your chest or it can be a private expression of
your dreams and hopes.

Human nature seems to value the written word more than the
spoken word and writing down your thoughts, observations,
plans and feelings might be the first step in moving toward
productive outcomes. The simple act of writing might be all that
is needed to give you the outcome you desire. I am sure you
remember the saying ‘the pen is mightier than the sword’.
Some types of therapy recommend writing down limiting
emotions and then burning or tearing these up.

It is widely accepted that the greatest tool for personal
development and change management is the diary or log. It
would be unusual if you had a coach who did not prescribe this
as the first course of action in your quest for success and
happiness. You may write down your goals or log your progress,
write a pledge or contract and in the technological age, even
keep a weblog if you wish.

The diary is a means of connecting with yourself. It is a means
to stay focused. It serves not only as a log, but as a steady map
and guide on your journey. The diary also reflects your
progress. This might be particularly useful when you need that
extra bit of motivation.
133

The various experiential exercises (in this book) that required
you to ‘ink it’ are all examples of using this tool.

Expressing your dreams and your goals in any form is a big step
towards making it real. Expressing your dreams is a way of
making that commitment to yourself. You may visualise your
goal, write it down, doodle about it, represent it graphically, and
link it mentally to a certain piece of music. Research has shown
that self-expression is good for your health. It helps you reduce
your stress levels and enhances your immune system!

Discussing your goals with others makes them seem more real
and can increase your motivation and commitment. It is a
matter of ‘name it to tame it’. Writing it down, concretises your
thoughts into a written contract with yourself and you are less
likely, perhaps due to conditioning, to break a written contract.

A diary enables you to review your goals daily. You can reassess
the validity of goals set or explore alternative paths to achieve
the same outcome. You might even realise that the end does
not justify the means!

The diary is a tool that will help you to generalise and optimize
your learning experiences on a day to day basis, across
situations and in different areas of your life. Journaling is a
means to connect with yourself and your goals. It is also a way
to tap into the resources of your subconscious.

Keep a diary, for a period of seven days. Spend five to ten
minutes each day recording anything you wish about a situation
or project. You may doodle or stick in pictures and other
souvenirs. You can write your thoughts about a book you are
reading. You can record your good memories and your
achievements.

Positive side effects

Research shows when you actively work on your personal
development, and combined with visualisation techniques, you
can reduce your stress levels and improve your health.

Replacing limiting beliefs with positive ones, as well as the
regular use of imagination boosts your immune system and
stimulates the brains hormones – give you feelings of happiness
and fulfilment.
134


Benefits and Pay-Offs

What happens to make one decide to change ones’ habits and
behaviours? On some level, the person realises that there are
more positive and satisfying options. On that same level, the
person realises that the old habits and behaviour is outdated
and no longer giving sufficient benefits. The costs of hanging
onto old habits and behaviours is proving to be higher than the
benefits.

When defining any goal, it is recommended to carry out a
deliberate Cost/Benefit Analysis. One such example is the use of
the SWAT or SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses,
opportunities and threats). This gives a good indicator of ROI
i.e. Return on Investments.

In the case of giving up old habits and behaviour, many people
find it helpful to also deliberately analyse the benefits (also
called pay-off) one has been receiving from hanging onto those
habits and behaviours.

For example, you realise that the time has come to build rapport
with X. What were the pay-offs you received from keeping X at
a distance?

• What do I get out of keeping X at a distance?
• If I allowed X close to me, I am afraid that…
• Keeping X at a distance gives me…
• What else happens directly and indirectly when I keep X
at a distance?
• What does this bring me?
• What of this is worth holding onto?
• How else can I bring this into my life?

This exercise emphasises that the world does not have to be
seen through the lens of black/white. Flexibility is being open-
minded to realise that you would not be hanging onto a habit or
behaviour if it did not carry some benefit. This is about being
open-minded to the fact that even ‘bad’ behaviour can have a
positive value. You have the choice and the power to reassign
meaning to the behaviour, beliefs and values you hold.

135


We think too small. Like the frog at the bottom of the well. He
thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he
surfaced, he would have an entirely different view.
Mao Tse-tung

Raising the Bar

I believe it is important that goals provide a healthy amount of
‘stretch’ and challenge. That is why I focus on working from
your passions, your strengths and your resourceful state. The
‘Stretch Factor’ or raising the bar is more than simple coping. It
involves an element of being proactive, thinking big and
extending or stretching your thoughts beyond your comfort
zone.

It is about wondering ‘what if’ and being open to the options
that come with the premise that ‘you can do more’. These are
about transformation, personal development and opportunity
development.
Setting goals that are high enough increases commitment and
motivation.

In spite of my commitment to stretching myself and helping
others do the same, I realised that I could still do that little bit
more. Last night, I was awoken by a strange dream and a
headache.

In my dream, I was trying to move forward through an open
doorway. The top of the door-frame was too low. As a result,
each time I moved forward, I banged my forehead and got
thrown backwards. This repeated bizarre sequence of action-
result, and the feeling of getting nowhere caused me to awaken.
The sudden insight to ‘Raise the Bar’ cleared my headache! To
me, this is an example of how our subconscious communicates
with us in a language that is clearly effective and gets our
attention. While others might wish to give a different
interpretation to this dream, the important thing to remember is
that the real usefulness of your dreams is the life-enhancing
interpretation you personally give to it. Others can only support
you in your quest to search for a meaning that is personally
authentic and empowering.

136


My Secret Garden

My goal is to use the power of my imagination to create an
imaginary place I can enter into and leave at will; feeling calm,
confident and empowered to rise up to the challenge of any task
or situation.

You have the power right here and now to float into an
imaginary world of your own making. It is a world in which you
have complete control over all its elements. You are safe and
secure. It is your own personal retreat… you can name it
whatever you wish. It can be as big or as small as you wish. You
can change any of its qualities with a simple thought… and you
are at one with this parallel universe. You are made of
energy…whatever you imagine takes place instantaneously…
effortlessly… magically and freely. Feel the calm embrace you…
whenever you bring your fingertips together, you are able
to materialise into your magical world…

When you are in your parallel universe, you remain aware of
what is happening in your conscious reality. You have full power
and awareness of both of your states. At any moment you may
choose to turn your full attention back to your conscious reality.
When you do this, you feel wide awake and calm, confident and
renewed.

137

State and Skills

Stepping into Success ™

A timeline such as ‘Stepping into Success’, is vital to successful
goal management. In fact, if you use none of the other tools
and techniques, visualising success images in your timeline (on
a daily basis) will help you achieve your goals.

This exercise consists of three parts. The diamond in the middle,
represents your current position – the present. The diamond to
the left represents the past and the one to the right, represents
the future.

You might choose to represent this timeline in different ways.
Wherever you are sitting, lying or standing right now, you may
choose three positions in the room to represent these three
points in time.

Use one of the earlier exercises to define a past success.
Imagine this success in detail so that you re-experience it with
the resulting feelings of achievement and abundance. This is
what your resourceful state feels like. Enter that experience and
state. Feel those feelings, hear those thoughts. Now get ready
to float out of that state...into your present position…
experience what this feels like…

138

Now position your goal into the future… float into that position…
you are successfully achieving your goal… and fulfilment…
experience your success… enjoy it fully… before floating back to
your current position.

For a moment, connect all three positions together… feel their
combined force field.

Take a moment to compliment your past self… become one with
your resources… See yourself transfer those strengths to your
future self. See how this helps the future you to success. Now
tune into your future self… listen to the insights that will help
you complete the cycle… you are tuning into the steps you need
to take in the next 24 hours to make that success possible…
your future is reaching out to embrace you!

139

The Power of Connection

The conditions for creativity are to be puzzled: to concentrate;
to accept conflict and tension; to be born everyday; to feel a
sense of self.
Erich Fromm

How to Create Congruent Connections
By Leonardo Da Vinci

I roamed the countryside searching for answers to things I did
not understand. Why shells existed on the tops of mountains
along with the imprints of coral and plants and seaweed usually
found in the sea. Why the thunder lasts a longer time than
which causes it and why immediately on its creation the
lightning becomes visible to the eye while thunder requires time
to travel. How the various circles of water form around the spot
which has been struck by a stone and why a bird sustains itself
in the air. These questions and other strange phenomena
engaged my thought throughout my life.

Leonardo Da Vinci gives us valuable insight into the thought
processes of a resourceful person. These are the characteristics
of an active and enquiring mind. He is alert and curious. He asks
big questions on a consistent basis and trusts himself to find the
answers. He seeks to understand life and the meaning of life. He
seeks to understand how he fits into this picture. He is open to
life and to experience. He seeks connections!

• Are you ready to make the connection?
• Do you want to develop your own goal management
model?
• Do you want success and happiness?

140

From Passion to Performance

To cease to think creatively is but little different from ceasing to
live
Benjamin Franklin

There are unlimited options to creating an acronym that
symbolises your rules for success and happiness. Which one is
for you?

P Prioritize
E Ecological
R Realistic
F Feasible
O Opportunities, Options
R Resources
M Mission
A Authentic Action
N Network
C Challenge
E Expectations

Do not throw the baby out with the bath-water! So maybe
you are still not interested in acronyms and in organised goal
management.… If you were to take away only three things from
this book, I would like them to be the following…

1. Think of a past success. Think of 3 things that you did
well. Find ways of using these 3 things daily for
continued success and happiness,
2. Place you past success, present position and future
success on a timeline, and
3. Use your imagination twice a day to imagine successful
outcomes!

When you use your imagination, you are experiencing your
future success. Your imagination automatically forms a clear,
specific and positive mental manifestation of your success. If
you can imagine it, it is achievable and realisable. Your
imagination will create the context and tasks as well as define
the outcomes you desire. Your imagination will also put you in
your resourceful state. You will find that you are automatically
doing what needs to be done to achieve this success and
happiness.

141

Further Reading

BAKER, S., BAKER, K. AND CAMPBELL, G.M. (2003) The
Complete Idiot’s Guide to Project Management. 3rd ED. Alpha
BROUNSTEIN, M. (2000). Coaching and Mentoring for Dummies.
Wiley Publishing. Inc.
COLE, H. P., & Sarnoff, D. (1980). Creativity and counselling.
Personnel and Guidance Journal, 59, 140-146.
and theory. Boston, MA, Houghton Mifflin.
COVEY, S. (1998). The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens.
New York: Freeside.
EGAN, G. (2002). The Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management
and Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping. 7th ED.
Thomson, Brooks/Cole.
GREENE, B. & WINFREY, O. (1996). Make the Connection: Ten
Steps to a Better Body – and a Better Life. London: Century
Books.
HALE, R. & WHITLAM, P. (1995). Target Setting and Goal
Achievement. London: Kogan Page Limited.
O’ CONNOR, J. (2001). NLP Workbook: A Practical Guide to
Achieving the Results You Want. London: Element.
ROBERTSHAW, J. E., Mecca, S. J., & Rerick, M. N. (1978).
Problem-solving: A systems approach. New York: Petrocelli
Books.
ROGERS, C.R. (1951). Client-centred therapy: its current
practice, implications
VICKERS, A. and BAVISTER, S. (2005), Teach Yourself:
Coaching. Bookpoint. Ltd.

142

Index

Phase I

Find your Passion

My Goal 25
My Philosophy 25
Creative Assumptions 27
Creative Methodology 28
Positive Focus 29
Experiential Learning 30
Learning through Reflection 30
Embrace your Passion 31
Drive your Passion 32
Creative Brainstorming 33
Passion Indicators 34
Habits 35
Universal Shapes Value Generator 36
Association 37
Free Association 38
Determination 41
Feedback 42
Mission Statement 43
Revitalize, Renew, Refresh 44
Begin at the beginning… 45
Three Wishes 46
How well do you know yourself? 47
Personal Authenticity 48
The Seven Habits of Peak Performance 49
Character Traits 50
Self-Actualisation 51
Fairy God-Mother 52
Man in the Mirror 53
Global Attitude 54
Tools and Techniques 55
Believe in Yourself 56

143

Phase II


The Benefits of Goal Setting 59
Value Fulfilment 60
Problem-management and Project-management 63
goals
Opportunity-development goals 64
Holistic Goal Setting 65
The Right Tool for the Job 66
Goal Definition 67
Goal Categories 68
Goal Category Selection 69
The Coaching and Life-Balance Wheels 72
The Peace Wheel 74
Models of Goal Setting 75
Sub-Goals 76
SMART 77
Specific 77
Measurable 78
Achievable 79
SWOT Analysis 80
Realistic 81
Timed 82
Summary 83
Working out Benefits 84
SMARTER 85
NLP in Goal Setting 86
Responsible Goals? 89
The ER-Factor 90
SMARTEST STAR 91
Acronyms and Synonyms 92
Specific 92
Measurable 93
Achievable 94
Realistic/ Resourceful 95
Time-line and Timed 96
Ecological 97
State and Strengths-based 97
Take Action 97
Glossary 99

144

Phase III


Treasure Hunt 103
Island of Wonders 104
Five Senses 105
Five Senses – Expanded 106
Visualisation Technique 107
Sensory Preferences 108
Circles of Success 109
Attentional Aspect 110
Progressive Muscle Relaxation 111
Feedback and Sensory Acuity 112
Synaesthesia 113
Sensory Parameters 114
Creative Filtering 115
Deletion or Exclusion 116
Exaggeration 117
Addition 118
Cocktail Party Effect 118
Generalizations 120
Emotional Branding 121
Exploring your Resourceful State 122
Stress Management 124
Emotional Intelligence 125
Mindfulness and Demand Language 126
Word Associations override Sensory 127
Evidence
Positive Reframing 128
Ergonomics – reverse ecology! 130
Anchors and Triggers 131
Cultivating your Resourceful State 132
Creative Change Chronicles 133
Positive Side Effects 134
Benefits and Pay-Offs 135
Raising the Bar 136
My Secret Garden 137
Stepping into Success 138

145

About the Author

Aneesah Bakker is internationally recognized for her artistic
talents. She is a prolific, self-taught artist who has had
exhibitions in the Netherlands and Paris. Her work can be found
in private collections throughout the world.

The author has a strong background in therapeutic, training and
education settings. She has worked in a teaching hospital,
private practice and corporate environments.

She has lived the life of a Global Nomad since 1998 and is
currently residing in London. Her experiences have led her to
write articles and to coach expatriates on issues surrounding
relocation as well as personal and professional development.
She has developed a unique system called OATS to enable
expatriates to perceive their transition as an opportunity to
create a life-enhancing transformation. Her life is proof that her
model works - she applies it in different contexts with
increasingly successful results. Her motto is that ‘Life goes
on...only differently’.

Aneesah is passionate about supporting accompanying spouses
and empowering them through her collaboration and provides
an easily customized toolkit to help them master the
accompanying challenges of relocation. Expatriates experience
renewed confidence and are empowered to create the life they
want for themselves and their families.

Aneesah has lived in South Africa, Austria, the Netherlands and
Paris. She is currently residing with her husband and two
children in London where she continues her work as an artist,
author and coach.

146

Passion To Performance

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