Polyamory

 Polyamory (from Greek πολύ [poly, meaning many or several] and
Latin amor [love]) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having
more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge
and consent of everyone involved.
 Polyamory, often abbreviated as poly, is often described as
consensual, ethical, or responsible non-monogamy.
 People who identify as polyamorous typically reject the view that
sexual and relational exclusivity are necessary for deep, committed,
long-term loving relationships. Those who are open to, or
emotionally suited for, polyamory may embark on a polyamorous
relationship when single or already in a monogamous or open
relationship. Sex is not necessarily a primary focus in polyamorous
relationships, which commonly consist of people seeking to build
long-term relationships with more than one person on mutually
agreeable grounds, with sex as only one aspect of their
relationships.

 In practice, polyamorous relationships are highly varied and
individualized according to those participating. For many, such
relationships are ideally built upon values of trust, loyalty, the
negotiation of boundaries, and compersion, as well as overcoming
jealousy, possessiveness, and the rejection of restrictive cultural
standards. Powerful intimate bonding among three or more persons
may occur. The skills and attitudes needed to manage polyamorous
relationships add challenges that are not often found in the
traditional "dating-and-marriage" model of long-term relationships.
Polyamory may require a more fluid and flexible approach to love
relationship, and yet operate on a complex system of boundaries or
rules. Additionally, participants in a polyamorous relationship may
not have, nor expect their partners to have, preconceptions as to
the duration of the relationship, in contrast to monogamous
marriages where a life-long union is generally the goal. However,
polyamorous relationships can and do last many years.

Symbols of polyamory
 Although people who are polyamorous have adopted a number of symbols,
none has universal recognition. The most common symbol is the red and
white heart (♥) combined with the blue infinity symbol (∞).
 The Jim Evans poly pride flag.
 The poly pride flag consists of three equal horizontal colored stripes with a
symbol in the center of the flag. The colors of the stripes, from top to
bottom, are as follows:
 Blue - The openness and honesty among all partners.
 Red - Love and passion.
 Black - Solidarity with those who must hide their relationships due to social
pressures.
 The symbol in the center of the flag is a gold Greek lowercase letter "pi"
(π), as the first letter of "polyamory" . The letter's gold color represents the
value that people who are polyamorous place on the emotional attachment
to others, be the relationship friendly or romantic in nature, as opposed to
merely primarily physical relationships.

 The symbol of ILIC (Infinite Love in Infinite Combinations) is a
reference to the Star Trek kol-ut-shan or symbol of philosophy of
Vulcan IDIC (Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations). It is a
variation on Pi-and-the-three-colors from the Polyamory Pride Flag
by Jim Evans. Like the flag, the colors are: blue, representing the
openness and honesty among all partners with which people who
are polyamorous conduct their multiple relationships; red,
representing love and passion; and black, representing solidarity
with those who, though they are open and honest with all
participants of their relationships, must hide those relationships from
the outside world due to societal pressures. A gold Greek lowercase
letter "pi" (π), as the first letter of "polyamory", represents the value
that people who are polyamorous place on the emotional
attachment to others, be the relationship friendly or romantic in
nature, as opposed to merely primarily physical relationships. The
most common symbol that people who are polyamorous have
adopted is the heart symbol combined with the infinity sign (∞) that
the ILIC symbol also uses.

 Another is the image of a parrot, since "Polly" is a common name for these
birds. PolyOz states in its polyamory glossary that "The parrot is a common
poly "mascot" or symbol. Punning on 'poly wanna X'“. A 2003 article in The
Guardian states "Today America has more than 100 poly email lists and
support groups. Their emblem, which marks the table when they meet in
restaurants, is the parrot (because of their nickname Polly).” Author Mystic
Life describes this symbol an ironic reference to parrots' monogamy.
 Joreth InnKeeper's Purple Mobius.
 The Purple Mobius symbol was created to provide an abstract symbol for
the poly community, which had some disagreements over the use of the
heart/infinity, the parrot, and the pi-flag. It was intended to be a neutral
symbol that referenced all the civil and social rights groups that came
before, by alluding to the color and shape of related movements, such as
the Gay Rights movement, the lesbian/feminist movement, the bisexual
community, the BDSM community and of course, bisexual BDSM dating, as
well as making a nodding reference to the heart/infinity symbol (the infinity
symbol being another example of a Mobius Strip).

Forms of polyamory
 Forms of polyamory include:
 Polyfidelity, which involves multiple romantic relationships with sexual
contact restricted to only specific partners in the group (which may include
all members of that group) (e.g. group marriage).
 Sub-relationships, which distinguish between "primary" and "secondary"
relationships (e.g. most open marriages). In 1906 H.G. Wells presented a
defense of this sort of polyamory in a utopian novel entitled In the Days of
the Comet.
 Three people romantically involved, often called a "triad relationship."
(Commonly initiated by an established couple jointly dating a third person;
however, there are many possible configurations.)
 Relationships between a couple and another couple (Quad).
 Polygamy (polygyny and polyandry), in which one person marries several
spouses (who may or may not be married to, or have romantic relationships
with, one another).

 Group relationships, sometimes referred to as tribes, and group
marriage, in which all consider themselves associated to one
another, popularized to some extent by Robert A. Heinlein (in novels
such as Stranger in a Strange Land, Time Enough for Love, Friday,
and The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress). Also works by Robert Rimmer,
and Starhawk in her books The Fifth Sacred Thing (1993) and
Walking to Mercury (1997). A domestic partnership consisting of
four people who are all married to each other features in Vonda N.
McIntyre's Starfarers series. Networks of interconnecting
relationships, where a particular person may have relationships of
varying degrees of importance with various people. Mono/poly
relationships, where one partner is monogamous but agrees to the
other having outside relationships. So-called "geometric"
arrangements, which are described by the number of people
involved and their relationship connections. Examples include
"triads" and "quads", along with "V" (or "Vee") and "N" geometries.
(See: Terminology within polyamory.)

Cultural diversity within
polyamory
 "Polygamy" is more often used to refer to codified forms of multiple marriage
(especially those with a traditional/religious basis), while "modern polyamory" or
"egalitarian polyamory" implies a relationship defined by negotiation between its
members, rather than by cultural norms. Egalitarian polyamory is culturally rooted in
such concepts as choice and individuality, rather than in religious traditions.
 Egalitarian polyamory is more closely associated with values, subcultures and
ideologies that favor individual freedoms and equality in sexual matters – most
notably, those reflected by sexual freedom advocacy groups such as Woodhull
Freedom Foundation & Federation, National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and
American Civil Liberties Union. However, polygamy advocacy groups and activists
and egalitarian polyamory advocacy groups and activists can and do work together
cooperatively. In addition, the two sub-communities have many common issues (poly
parenting, dealing with jealousy, legal and social discrimination, etc.), the discussion
and resolution of which are of equal interest to both sub-communities, regardless of
any cultural differences that may exist. Moreover, there is considerable cultural
diversity within both sub-communities. Religiously motivated polygamy has its
Islamic, Mormon fundamentalist, Christian Plural Marriage, Jewish and other
varieties; similarly, some egalitarian polyamorists have cultural ties to Naturism, Neo-
Pagans,[25] BDSM, Modern Tantra, and other special interest groups. For example,
egalitarian polyamory and BDSM often face similar challenges (e.g. negotiating the
ground rules for unconventional relationships, or the question of coming out to family
and friends), and the cross-pollination of ideas takes place between the two.

Legal status
 In most countries, it is legal for three or more people to form and share a sexual
relationship (subject sometimes to laws against homosexuality). However, no
Western countries permit marriage among more than two people. Nor do they give
strong and equal legal protection (e.g., of rights relating to children) to non-married
partners – the legal regime is not comparable to that applied to married couples.
Individuals involved in polyamorous relationships are considered by the law to be no
different from people who live together, or "date", under other circumstances.
 In many jurisdictions where lesbian and gay couples can access civil unions or
registered partnerships, these are often intended as parallel institutions to that of
heterosexual monogamous marriage. Accordingly, they include parallel entitlements,
obligations, and limitations. Amongst the latter, as in the case of the New Zealand
Civil Union Act 2005, there are parallel prohibitions on civil unions with more than
one partner, which is considered bigamy, or dual marriage/civil union hybrids with
more than one person. Both are banned under Sections 205-206 of the Crimes Act
1961. In jurisdictions where same-sex marriage proper exists, bigamous same-sex
marriages fall under the same set of legal prohibitions as bigamous heterosexual
marriages. As of yet, there is no case law applicable to these issues.

 Bigamy is the act of marrying one person while already being married to another, and
is legally prohibited in most countries where monogamy is the cultural norm. Some
bigamy statutes are broad enough to potentially encompass polyamorous
relationships involving cohabitation, even if none of the participants claim marriage to
more than one partner. For instance, under Utah Code 76-7-101, "A person is guilty
of bigamy when, knowing he has a husband or wife or knowing the other person has
a husband or wife, the person purports to marry another person or cohabits with
another person."
 Having multiple non-marital partners, even if married to one, is legal in most U.S.
jurisdictions; at most it constitutes grounds for divorce if the spouse is non-
consenting, or feels that the interest in a further partner has destabilized the
marriage. In jurisdictions where civil unions or registered partnerships are
recognized, the same principle applies to divorce in those contexts. There are
exceptions to this: in North Carolina, a spouse can sue a third party for causing "loss
of affection" in or "criminal conversation" (adultery) with their spouse, and more than
twenty states in the US have laws against adultery although they are infrequently
enforced. Some states were prompted to review their laws criminalizing consensual
sexual activity in the wake of the Supreme Court's ruling in Lawrence v. Texas. Some
social conservatives hold that the reading of Justice Kennedy's opinion in Lawrence
is that states may not constitutionally burden any private, consensual sexual activity
between adults. Such a reading would throw laws against fornication, adultery, and
even adult incest into question.

 New Jersey's 2004 Domestic Partnership Act could in theory be used to legally connect more
than two persons (albeit imperfectly), perhaps using a combination of marriage and domestic
partnership. However, no case law in support of this theory yet exists.
 At present, the extension to multiple-partner relationships of laws that use a criterion similar to
that adopted in the UK, i.e., "married or living together as married" remains largely untested. That
is, it is not known whether these laws could treat some trios or larger groups as common-law
marriages.
 If marriage is intended, most countries provide for both a religious marriage and a civil ceremony
(sometimes combined). These recognize and formalize the relationship. Few Western countries
give either religious or legal recognition – or permission – to marriages with three or more
partners. While a recent case in the Netherlands was commonly read as demonstrating that
Dutch law permitted multiple-partner civil unions,[31] this belief is mistaken. The relationship in
question was a samenlevingscontract, or "cohabitation contract", and not a registered partnership
or marriage. The Netherlands' law concerning registered partnerships provides that:
 A person may be involved in one only registered partnership with one other person whether of the
same or of opposite sex at any one time.
 Persons who enter into a registered partnership may not at the same time be married.
 When a relationship ends, non-consensual infidelity ("cheating") is often grounds for an
unfavorable divorce settlement, and infidelity generally could easily be seized upon as a
prejudicial issue by an antagonistic partner.

Research
 Research into polyamory has been limited. A comprehensive government study of sexual
attitudes, behaviors and relationships in Finland in 1992 (age 18-75, around 50% both genders)
found that around 200 out of 2250 (8.9%) respondents "agreed or strongly agreed" with the
statement "I could maintain several sexual relationships at the same time" and 8.2% indicated a
relationship type "that best suits" at the present stage of life would involve multiple partners. By
contrast, when asked about other relationships at the same time as a steady relationship, around
17% stated they had had other partners whilst in a steady relationship (50% no, 17% yes, 33%
refused to answer).
 British artist Connie Rose was the first to create a film about polyamory consisting of interviews
around the world including polamory's leading academics, authors and sex experts, including
Dossie Easton (coauthor of The Ethical Slut) and Christopher Ryan (coauthor of Sex at Dawn).
Rose's film Questioning Monogamy was exhibited in London 2011 as an eight foot installation for
12 people to lay in with ten screens.
 The article, What Psychology Professionals Should Know About Polyamory, based on a paper
presented at the 8th Annual Diversity Conference in March 1999 in Albany, New York states the
following:
 While openly polyamorous relationships are relatively rare (Rubin, 1982), there are indications
that private polyamorous arrangements within relationships are actually quite common. Blumstein
and Schwartz (1983, cited in Rubin & Adams, 1986) noted that of 3,574 married couples in their
sample, 15-28% had an understanding that allows nonmonogamy under some circumstances.
The percentages are higher among cohabitating couples (28%), lesbian couples (29%) and gay
male couples (65%) (p. 312).

Polyamory

More Related Content

What's hot (20)

Similar to Polyamory (20)

More from paigero (20)

Recently uploaded (20)

Polyamory