Vulnerability
- 1. Vulnerability Cafechurch Tuesday 3rd December 2019 Anne Pate
- 2. Change Gear Primary Wonder, Denise Levertov Days pass when I forget the mystery. Problems insoluble and problems offering their own ignored solutions jostle for my attention, they crowd its antechamber along with a host of diversions, my courtiers, wearing their coloured clothes; caps and bells. And then once more the quiet mystery is present to me, the throng’s clamour recedes: the mystery that there is anything, anything at all, let alone cosmos, joy, memory, everything, rather than void: and that, O Lord, Creator, Hallowed one, You still, hour by hour sustain it.
- 3. Gratitudes
- 4. Conversation • What does it mean to be vulnerable? • When have you experienced vulnerability? • Where and with whom do you feel able to be vulnerable?
- 5. Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability
- 6. Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging. These ‘whole-hearted’ people, living from a deep sense of worthiness, have: • the courage to be imperfect; • compassion for self and others; • connection as a result of authenticity; and • the capacity to fully embrace the necessity of vulnerability. ‘Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.’
- 7. Conversation • What aspects of Brene Brown’s talk resonate with your experience and / or understanding of vulnerability? • What do you find difficult or challenging about the idea of embracing vulnerability? • How is vulnerability viewed in our cultural context?
- 8. Mark 1:16-20 Calling of the first disciples As Jesus passed along the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the sea—for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, “Follow me and I will make you fish for people.” And immediately they left their nets and followed him. As he went a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John, who were in their boat mending the nets. Immediately he called them; and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men, and followed him.
- 9. Luke 23:32-38 The Crucifixion of Jesus Two others also, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him. When they came to the place that is called The Skull, they crucified Jesus there with the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” And they cast lots to divide his clothing. And the people stood by, watching; but the leaders scoffed at him, saying, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Messiah of God, his chosen one!” The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine, and saying, “If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!” There was also an inscription over him, “This is the King of the Jews.”
- 10. Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability We often try to escape vulnerability by numbing our emotions or seeking perfection. ‘Most of us were never taught how to hold discomfort, sit with it, or communicate it, only how to discharge or dump it, or to pretend it’s not happening.’ Brene Brown, Rising Strong, p51. We can embrace vulnerability by - • Letting ourselves be seen • Loving with our whole hearts • Practicing gratitude and leaning in to joy • Remembering that ‘I am enough’.
- 11. Vulnerability and the stories we tell ourselves ‘When you are in the middle of a story it isn’t a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass and splintered wood; like a house in a whirlwind, or else a boat crushed by the icebergs or swept over the rapids, and all aboard powerless to stop it. It’s only afterwards that it becomes anything like a story at all. When you are telling it, to yourself or to someone else.’ Margaret Atwood, Alias Grace
- 12. Vulnerability and the stories we tell ourselves ‘The most dangerous stories we make up are the narratives that diminish our inherent worthiness. We must reclaim the truth about our lovability, divinity, and creativity.’ Brene Brown, Rising Strong, p82 ‘The most difficult part of our stories is often what we bring to them – what we make up about who we are and how we are perceived by others. Yes, maybe we lost our job or screwed up a project, but what makes that story so painful is what we tell ourselves about our own self-worth and value.’ Brene Brown, Rising Strong, p75 Prayer is ‘listening to God telling me the story of my journey in time’. John S. Dunne
Editor's Notes
- #3: Deep calls to deep
- #6: Studied shame and how it leads to disconnection, and this research led to further realisations: 6:08 to 11:28
- #11: How we try to escape vulnerability: 14:26 – 18.53 Embracing vulnerability: 18:53 to end
- #13: She writes about the importance of recognizing our emotions, getting curious about them, and really exploring our stories so we can capture the conspiracies and confabulations within them.