Writing In The Technical Fields A Practical Guide 3rd Edition Thorsten Ewald
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- 6. Third Edition WRITING IN THE TECHNICAL FIELDS A Practical Guide Thorsten Ewald
- 7. Oxford University Press is a department of the University of Oxford. It furthers the University’s objective of excellence in research, scholarship, and education by publishing worldwide. Oxford is a registered trade mark of Oxford University Press in the UK and in certain other countries. Published in Canada by Oxford University Press 8 Sampson Mews, Suite 204, Don Mills, Ontario M3C 0H5 Canada www.oupcanada.com Copyright © Oxford University Press Canada 2020 The moral rights of the author have been asserted Database right Oxford University Press (maker) First Edition published in 2014 Second Edition published in 2017 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of Oxford University Press, or as expressly permitted by law, by licence, or under terms agreed with the appropriate reprographics rights organization. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside the scope of the above should be sent to the Permissions Department at the address above or through the following url: www.oupcanada.com/permission/permission_request.php Every effort has been made to determine and contact copyright holders. In the case of any omissions, the publisher will be pleased to make suitable acknowledgement in future editions. Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication Title: Writing in the technical fields : a practical guide / Thorsten Ewald. Names: Ewald, Thorsten, author. Description: Third edition. | Includes bibliographical references and index. Identifiers: Canadiana (print) 20190204451 | Canadiana (ebook) 2019020446X | ISBN 9780199036851 (softcover) | ISBN 9780199036905 (EPUB) Subjects: LCSH: Technical writing. | LCGFT: Handbooks and manuals. Classification: LCC T11 .E83 2020 | DDC 808.06/6—dc23 Cover image: © Bloomicon/Shutterstock
- 8. To my wife, Caroline, for her patience and support during the writing of this text and during the many long, cranky evenings of marking.
- 9. 1 2 3 4 5 Contents Checklists Acknowledgements Introduction Why Technical People Needn’t Fear Writing Writing in the Technical Workplace Why Technical People Can Master Technical Writing Attributes of Technical Writing The Writing Process Exercises: Writing in the Workplace Technical Sentences Introduction Find the Real Subject Find the Real Verb (Avoid Nominalizations) Edit for Conciseness Edit for Clarity Check for Inclusive Language Check the Grammar and Mechanics Exercises: Editing Technical Sentences Technical Paragraphs Keep Paragraphs Short Begin Paragraphs with a Topic Sentence Make Paragraphs Unified Make Paragraphs Complete Make Paragraphs Cohesive Exercises: Editing Technical Paragraphs and Reports Parallelism, Lists, Headings, and Layout Parallelism in Sentences Lists Headings Exercises: Creating Parallel Sentences and Lists Emails, Letters, and Memos Letter Format Memo and Email Formats Email Etiquette (“Netiquette”) Professional Correspondence: Style and Tone
- 10. 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Exercises: Standard Correspondence Short Reports, Proposals, and Technical Documents Report Structure Documents That Report on Past Events or Completed Tasks Documents That Report on Ongoing Tasks: Progress Reports Documents That Recommend Future Actions Documents That Define Standards: Specifications Lab Reports Engineering or Project Logs Exercises: Informal Reports Formal Reports Parts of a Formal Report Formal Report Pagination Exercises: Formal Reports Intercultural Communication, Collaborative Writing, and Document Control Intercultural Communication Writing in Teams Document Sharing and Control Exercises: Intercultural Considerations References and Citations The Common Knowledge Exception Terminology Types: MLA, APA, Turabian, Chicago, IEEE, ACS, Vancouver Citing Sources Creating References Sections Autogenerating Reference Entries Sample IEEE Reference Entries Exercises: References and Citations Technical Graphics Types and Uses of Graphics Putting Graphics into Reports Rules for Incorporating Report Graphics Avoiding Graphical Misrepresentation Exercises: Technical Graphics Technical Definitions and Descriptions Technical Definitions Technical Descriptions Exercises: Technical Definitions and Descriptions Instructions, Procedures, and Manuals
- 11. 13 14 15 The Introduction The Step-by-Step Instructions The Conclusion Notes, Cautions, Warnings, and Danger Alerts Usability Manuals Exercises: Writing and Editing Instructions Oral Presentations Planning the Presentation Making Speech Notes; Using Presenter View Designing and Using Slides Practising the Presentation Overcoming Stage Fright and Answering Questions Exercises: Oral Presentations Ethics Ethics in the Professions Ethics for Students Ethics in Technical Writing Exercises: Ethics Job Application Packages The Myth of the Experience Trap Résumés Application Letters Finding Job Openings Exercises: Job Application Packages Appendix: Grammar and Usage Handbook Part 1: Punctuation and Grammar Part 2: Mechanics and Conventions Part 3: Glossary of Commonly Misused Words and Phrases References Bibliography Index
- 12. Checklists 2 Editing Technical Sentences 3 Editing Technical Paragraphs 4 Parallelism, Lists, Headings, and Layout 5 Editing Emails, Letters, and Memos 6 Editing Informal Reports 7 Editing Formal Reports 8 Collaborative Writing, Document Control, and Intercultural Communication 9 Editing References and Citations 10 Editing Technical Graphics 11 Editing Technical Definitions 11 Editing Mechanism Descriptions 11 Editing Process Descriptions 12 Editing Instructions, Procedures, and Manuals 13 Editing Your Presentation 14 Editing Your Writing for Ethics 15 Editing Job Application Packages
- 13. Acknowledgements Many thanks to everyone at Oxford University Press for their help in putting together and polishing this third edition of Writing in the Technical Fields: Tracey Macdonald, Peter Chambers, and Emily Kring. I’ve been teaching technical writing and business communication at the British Columbia Institute of Technology since 1997 and owe a huge debt to the many colleagues in multiple departments who have provided material, advice, aid, and comfort over the years; who have shared triumphs and frustrations; and who have served as inspirations and—in occasional, self-effacing, and amusing anecdotes—examples of what not to do. They have all contributed to my understanding of the field, to the development of my teaching methods, and to the creation of this text. Most especially, however, thanks are owed to Katherine Golder, David Hamilton, Deanna Levis, and Frank Schnurr for providing their own materials and suggesting student samples for use in this text. Material, advice, and humour were also provided by my friend and occasional collaborator Andre Lanz. He has also generously allowed me to use in this text some of the fruits of our collaborations and a number of photos from his personal collection. Similarly, I’d like to thank the professionals in the field who shared their experiences in the In the Field boxes. They have given the text a relevance to students that it might otherwise not have enjoyed: Heidi Carson, Gary Dean, Karin Garandza, Tom Gilchrist, Eric Hanson, Andre Lanz, Behnaz Mortazavi, and Saoirse Carroll. I also need to thank the legions of students over the years who have inspired me and challenged me to do better and for whose benefit this text is intended. It’s incredibly rewarding to be in constant contact with such dedicated, hard-working, and energetic young people. It is also very comforting; the future of Canada is in good hands, it seems to me. Of these many students, I’d especially like to thank the following for permitting me to use some of their assignments as samples: Scott Bird, Maxsym Opushnyev, Chang Zheng Michael Chen, Hamid Serti, and Monica Ip. I’m hoping that seeing the good work that these students have contributed will set a high, but clearly achievable, bar for future students. Finally, of course, I need to thank my long-suffering wife and best friend, Caroline, for her patience and support, though in a candid moment she might admit that having some alone time while I immured myself in the study all those evenings was not altogether a bad thing.
- 14. Introduction Rationale for This Text The education marketplace is pretty crowded with technical writing textbooks, so you are right to question why you should choose this one. This text has been created because, despite the numerous textbooks available for first-year survey courses on technical writing, none really suited my course. I started to develop my own modules to send out to students and have now bundled them into a text in case they suit your course as well. There are several reasons why most other technical writing books haven’t worked well in my courses. First, I have found that technical writing textbooks are generally too big and too expensive. They might make good desktop references to accompany students through their professional lives, but they contain too many chapters and too much information for a two-term introductory technical writing course. This text is pared down. Second, students find the writing of many texts overly formal. This formal tone discourages them from reading and makes it hard for them to absorb the information they require. It also seems out of step with the much less formal style of writing generally used (and deemed perfectly appropriate) in the North American workplace. This text also employs a lot of labelled graphics in place of long explanations—for instance, to demonstrate the layout of letters. This is hardly a unique approach, but it is helpful. Third, many technical writing textbooks don’t show students how to actually achieve results on the page: for instance, how to use Microsoft Word properly to format text, insert citations, and the like. It’s always surprising how little facility some students have with word-processing software, despite their expertise with smartphones and their inventive use of the Internet to shortcut their homework. This text does one more thing. You’ve probably found that students have little trouble copying the formatting of documents and can usually be taught how to select content and how to sequence it. What they consistently have trouble with is the writing itself. They struggle not so much with the macro-design of documents, but with clear expression. They are self-conscious about their writing, fearful of speaking incorrectly on the page, and end up writing strangulated, stilted, awkward sentences and choppy paragraphs—to a large extent because they think that writing needs to be difficult. But of course, it doesn’t. On the other hand, once we get beyond those grating “It was, like, OMGs” and “Oh shut ups!,” you’ve probably discovered that many students are well able to construct clear sentences and fluid paragraphs—when they are speaking. This text attempts to harness that natural communication ability and transfer it to the students’ writing. Given that goal, it contains two substantial chapters on writing (Chapter 2 on sentences and Chapter 3 on paragraphs). These can be incorporated into the course and lecture material or just assigned as home study. Instructors can access additional writing exercises for both chapters online. And throughout, as mentioned, the text models a casual yet clear and effective writing style that is less intimidating and easier to emulate than that of many other texts. Technical writing is first and foremost practical writing, and it is a change agent. Its purpose is to convey information required by a specific reader in a specific situation as briefly, clearly, and simply as possible so that the reader can perform whatever follow-up task may be required. This text attempts to model that practicality. It is an introductory text for students in a technical field who are getting their first exposure to technical writing. It can’t be all things to all people, especially considering its compact size and targeted price point, but I hope it will help you in the design of your technical writing course. Thorsten Ewald Pragmatist Introduction to the Third Edition Surprisingly and gratifyingly, this text has sold well enough to warrant a third edition. Unsurprisingly, but equally gratifyingly, instructors who have adopted the text and reviewers offered the opportunity by Oxford University
- 15. Press have provided suggestions for improvement. I have tried to please. This third edition of Writing in the Technical Fields embraces two noticeable improvements and a number of more subtle ones. The first highly visible change is that we have re-arranged a number of the chapters in the text to better reflect the workflow of instructors and the frequency with which instructors use the chapters. Application packages now form the last chapter because this material is not part of all technical writing courses; the appendix on ethics has been promoted to a chapter, modest though it still is. We’ve also combined the appendices on grammar and mechanics into a handbook with expanded material and have added exercises like the ones found in the chapters—answer keys are available online. Now instructors can direct students to the back of the book not just to read up on common errors, but also to do exercises to correct those errors. On the topic of exercises, we’ve added a series of shorter exercises to chapters 5 and 6 for instructors hard- pressed for time. These exercise scenarios are easier to understand, allowing students to focus precious in-class time on their planning, writing, and editing instead of unduly exercising (or taxing) their reading comprehension. However, we have also included a slew of additional exercises and answer keys on the new, improved, and expanded website. See for yourself whether I’m overpromising. The second big change—or series of changes that add up to a big change—is that we’ve included subjects that instructors found missing and expanded on subjects that instructors thought required more information; this includes a more thorough description of the stages of editing (Chapter 1), new material on engineering and project logs (Chapter 6), and expanded information on long quotes and the difference between quoting and paraphrasing (Chapter 9), to name but a few. I have tried to fill all the gaps in the second edition. In addition, we’ve made a number of small textual changes to sharpen the clarity of the writing and to enhance students’ comprehension. You will already have noted the new layout, colour scheme, and cover page. I’m very pleased with the way things have turned out and hope that you will be too. I also sincerely hope, however, that if, or when, you find additional things to improve, you will let us know. I want this text, perhaps by the fourth edition, to offer precisely the assistance that you would like in your classroom. The Chapters in Detail Chapter 1: Why Technical People Needn’t Fear Writing Chapter 1 introduces the notion that technical writing, though not easy, doesn’t have to be hard. It stresses that we all have natural communication abilities that we can harness if we don’t get too scared of the empty page and freeze up. It introduces the notion of a natural, flowing, conversational writing style and explains how planning and editing cycles can help to achieve such a style. Many texts prefer to describe the planning and editing of documents in chapters dealing with formal reports. The point that this chapter makes is that all writing benefits from a bit of forethought and that all documents require some editing. However, when we are actually writing, we should imagine ourselves sitting across the desk from our readers and write more or less the way we’d speak to them— without the F-bombs, of course. Chapter 2: Technical Sentences Chapter 2 describes how to create concise, clear sentences by focusing on a short checklist of common errors. The point is not only to get students to look for and correct these errors—for example passive voice, weak expletives, nominalization, low-content expressions—but also to emphasize that writing well is a craft that can be mastered by technical people. Who better, after all, to apply checklists and work to a standard? The end of the chapter offers exercises with examples from multiple disciplines, the answer keys to which, as well as additional exercises, are on the companion website. Chapter 3: Technical Paragraphs Chapter 3 applies the same principles as Chapter 2, but to the marshalling of sentences into fluid and coherent paragraphs. It provides guidelines and a structured approach to building paragraphs, as technical students tend to respond to this approach. These rules obviously don’t instantly create great writers, but, if followed, they will
- 16. instantly improve most students’ writing. The end of the chapter offers exercises with examples from multiple disciplines, the answer keys to which, as well as additional exercises, are on the companion website. Chapter 4: Parallelism, Lists, Headings, and Layout Chapter 4 begins by describing parallelism in sentences before moving on to lists. It makes clear that lists are a convenience for the reader, not the writer, and that they are a way to draw attention to important information, not an excuse for sloppy point-form paragraph development. This chapter also describes how headings and lists function as navigation aids to help readers find key information. Chapter 5: Emails, Letters, and Memos Once students have learned the building blocks of technical writing—sentences, paragraphs, and lists—they are ready to put them together into technical documents. Chapter 5 covers routine emails, letters, and memos. It makes the point that correspondence takes our stead because we can’t always be there to speak to the reader in person. However, as already noted, we should think of ourselves as sitting across the desk from the reader, and in most situations, we should write in that same tone—at least for our first draft. This will make the text flow more naturally and will make the writing much easier. Chapter 6: Short Reports, Proposals, and Technical Documents Chapter 6 is light on textual explanation, letting the examples with extensive labels and captions do the talking. The focus is on seeing reports as logical structures that help us achieve specific purposes and on understanding that form follows function, another notion that plays to the strengths of technically minded people. Chapter 7: Formal Reports Chapter 7 describes how any report, if it is sufficiently long, may be formally dressed. But the purpose of this formality is not primarily to impress with good manners, but to enable the reader to navigate a document easily and find necessary information quickly. This chapter explains the formal report from a reader’s perspective. It also explains how to use Microsoft Word to do some of the necessary formatting. Chapter 8: Intercultural Communication, Collaborative Writing, and Document Control Chapter 8 describes how to write in teams, from planning to group writing to creating a unified voice. One of the difficulties of working in groups is keeping track of all group members’ input and making sure their writing and editing don’t get confused. This is the essence of document control. Today’s students have more intercultural experience than any previous generation; they are accepting, generous, and open. But a few points on intercultural communication are still worth making, particularly given the internationalization and localization of technical writing in an increasingly globalized economy and problem-solving environment. Chapter 9: References and Citations Chapter 9 is a pretty standard guide to providing references and citations, and it gives the standard explanation of why they’re necessary. This chapter chooses as its focus the numerical citation method, frequently used by engineering and scientific organizations. It explains that many different forms of citation are possible and that the one to use will depend on the preferences of instructors, bosses, professional organizations, and publishers. It also demonstrates how most citation methods assigned can be employed using Word’s References tools or online citation engines. Chapter 10: Technical Graphics Chapter 10 is short, pithy, and, quite appropriately, graphic. It demonstrates what sort of graphics best convey what sort of information, and how to use Word to create, insert, and embed those graphics. It also describes some of the common ways in which graphics can misrepresent information, by accident or design. Chapter 11: Technical Definitions and Descriptions
- 17. Chapter 11 helps students write technical definitions in three lengths and levels of detail (parenthetical, formal, and extended) and to plan and craft audience- and context-appropriate mechanism and process descriptions. The focus, as ever in this text, is on plentiful examples with helpful annotations. Chapter 12: Instructions, Procedures, and Manuals Chapter 12 helps students keep their instruction steps concise, simple, and sequential. It also helps them remember to put the notes, cautions, warnings, and danger alerts in the right places. Because students are unlikely to have to write a full manual in a first-year technical writing course, this chapter provides only a brief discussion of how manuals combine a series of instructions and/or procedures into a comprehensive document. Chapter 13: Oral Presentations Chapter 13 was left to the near end not only because students hate the subject the most, but because oral presentations are often the last assignment in a technical writing course, in conjunction with the term-end formal report. This chapter provides practical information on how to organize oral presentations, how to sequence slides, and how to create proper transitions between sections. It shows how to use Microsoft PowerPoint to create “progressive reveals” of text or graphics and provides easy-to-follow (or at least understand) tips on how to stand and deliver. Chapter 14: Ethics Chapter 14 provides a brief overview of the importance of ethics in general, touches upon ethical requirements for students and professionals, and describes how ethics apply to technical writing. It’s not intended that this chapter turn sinners into saints, but merely that it create a better understanding of the topic and stimulate some discussion. Chapter 15: Job Application Packages Chapter 15 describes how students should create the sort of résumés and application letters that will help them leave the academic nest successfully. To be effective, résumés must work for all three stages of the selection process: the glance, the scan, and the read. Application letters require more than just persuasive information; they require a persuasive style that helps potential employers visualize the student as the sort of hard-working, dependable, talented, long-term employee on whom they’ll take a chance. Some samples demonstrate how to achieve this. Appendix: Grammar and Usage Handbook The Grammar and Usage Handbook provides an overview of the most common grammatical and mechanical mistakes made by students and uses examples and explanations to help students correct them. These errors are arranged alphabetically so that instructors can note them in the margins of students’ papers and expect students to find their errors and learn, with the help of exercises, to correct them. It also includes a handy glossary of frequently confused or misused words, such as “affect” vs. “effect,” “all ready” vs. “already,” and “continual” vs. “continuous.” This, too, is intended as a place to which instructors can refer students when they encounter these common mistakes in the students’ writing. This section is also intended to be enjoyed if read on its own, believe it or not.
- 18. • • • • 1 Why Technical People Needn’t Fear Writing In this chapter you will learn the importance of writing in the technical workplace why technical people can master technical writing the attributes of technical writing the beginnings of the writing process. You probably chose a technical field because you want to make the world a better place in some small, practical, technical way. Perhaps you’d like to design buildings or mechanical systems; perhaps you’re thinking of developing medical technologies or sustainable practices. Maybe you have a hunch about a better mousetrap. What appeals to you in any case is the idea of making real change in the real world and seeing the results of your labours. What you probably don’t want to do is write about it. Unfortunately, there’s just no avoiding writing in the technical workplace because you will never work in perfect isolation, and where there’s a need to communicate, there’s a need to write. But this needn’t worry you. Writing is a technical skill, not a gift, and this means that as a technical person, you are actually in an enviable position when it comes to learning to write well, regardless of what your high school English teacher may have said about your writing. Writing in the Technical Workplace The Extent of Writing in the Technical Workplace Writing is a constant in the technical workplace because nothing can happen without communication. Every project you work on—and you may be working on several at a time—involves teams of people, often dispersed across offices, cities, or even countries. And every step of every project requires documentation. For instance, the extension of one of the light rapid transit (LRT) lines for the City of Calgary was officially launched with a request for proposals (RFP) of over 700 pages. A primary engineering firm in Vancouver produced the RFP in collaboration with a series of subcontractors. If you had been a civil engineer working on that RFP, you would have been communicating constantly with peers in your group to coordinate activities and workflows and to verify or distribute information. You would also have been communicating with subcontractors responsible for writing different sections of the RFP, with surveyors in Calgary, with the City of Calgary Engineering Department, and with a host of other stakeholders, as they are called. At the same time, you might have had to write progress reports to management within your company and to clients, to write employee evaluations for team members, or to help with the selection of subcontractors, recording your deliberations and decisions in writing.
- 19. Before the RFP was awarded to your firm, you might have been involved in the process of securing the work, also mostly in writing, because there always has to be a paper trail proving due diligence. Once the RFP was posted, it drew competing proposals from a number of engineering companies vying to design and build the LRT extension according to the specifications laid out in the RFP. Those proposals all ran to several hundred, if not a thousand, pages, all written at great effort. When one proposal was selected, meaning that the rest were written in vain, the selection committee had to write a report to justify the choice, again to prove due diligence. When construction started, the engineers overseeing the project kept a project log and wrote regular inspection reports, progress reports, quality test surveys, engineering change orders, traffic pattern alteration requests, environmental assessment reviews, and innumerable other documents required by the city, various ministries, managers, employees, and so on—probably enough documentation to fill the site office from top to bottom, front to back. This is why—you may be surprised, but hopefully not dismayed, to learn—technical professionals in all fields spend between 20 and 40 per cent of their work time communicating in writing. They may spend a couple of hours per day on email alone. And the higher up you move in your organization, the more time you’ll spend writing and managing instead of designing and doing calculations. The Cost of Poor Communication in the Technical Workplace Poor communication at any stage of a project is very costly. In fact, a proposal that took a team of engineers and support staff weeks to put together at great cost to their employer might fail not because it doesn’t meet the specifications of the RFP, but because it was vaguely written and difficult to understand. In other words, it may fail not because of flaws in the engineering design, but because of the way it was written. In industry after industry, experts agree that poor communication is one of the main causes of cost overruns, late completion, or outright project failures. Aside from its role in the failure of whole projects, poor writing also wastes time and causes frustration in daily communication. Poorly worded emails require lengthy discussions or an exchange of emails to clarify what should have been clear on first reading. Alternatively, a misunderstanding due to a badly written email may cause the reader to waste time going down the wrong trail and then later have to redo work. Often an email’s tone is incorrectly perceived simply because body language cannot be analyzed and tone of voice cannot be perceived; this can cause hurt feelings, ill will, and inaction. That inaction, whether caused by an inappropriate tone or unclear meaning, means that your good ideas or requests for information or maybe even your dire warnings may be ignored.1 Corporate officials for BP have admitted, for instance, that the Deepwater Horizon catastrophe in 2006 occurred because emails warning of the impending problem were ignored.2 Eleven workers died in the subsequent explosion, the rig sank, and the environmental damage to the Gulf of Mexico and its coast remains incalculable. Health effects may be felt for decades—all because of ignored emails. Why Technical People Can Master Technical Writing Technical Writing Isn’t Like Literary Writing However, if writing was not your strong suit in high school and if literature and romantic poetry are not among your passions, don’t despair. What makes technical and business writing effective is not the same as what makes literary writing soar. Technical writing is a simple, stripped-down tool designed to get the job done, and that job is to convey information to people who need it. It’s not meant to be fancy. It’s meant to be clear and effective. This is not to suggest that writing well is easy. Like any craft, it requires discipline, conscious effort, and some practice. But it doesn’t require a natural gift for wordplay or perfect linguistic pitch. Instead, learning to write well actually plays to the strengths of technical people. As a technical person, you should be good at working within structured systems that follow rules and guidelines. You are used to working to specification and to applying rules and best practices consistently. Whether you are designing a building, an electrical system, a hydraulic system, or a septic field; whether you are coding software, designing websites, or creating a user interface, you do not rely on inspiration or make
- 20. sacrifices to the gods. Rather, you work according to a set procedure, following guidelines and rules, using previous designs as a launching point. You focus on usability and practicality; you don’t add needless embellishments or take poetic licence. In fact, the most elegant solutions are invariably the simplest. IN THE FIELD Tom Gilchrist, Subsea Technologist and Technical Writer Technical communication has been a common theme through most of my career. Long before calling myself a technical writer, I worked in the subsea technology field with saturation diving systems, atmospheric diving suits, robotic vehicles, and deep-diving manned submersibles. This complex work required reference to a wide variety of technical documentation, and I was surprised at how much of it was inadequate and poorly produced. Manuals sometimes seemed to be an afterthought to the products themselves, even in that demanding environment. I spent considerable time updating documentation to reflect our actual hardware configurations. I did not have formal documentation training at the time; I just did what seemed to make sense, based on the need. Following my subsea career, I was a customer-support engineer with an electrochemical fuel cell company. Technical communication was an essential and significant part of my role there as well, requiring report writing, technical specification development, business proposals, test procedures, data analysis, and much more. In many cases, English was a second language for my customers, which meant that conveying technical concepts clearly and simply was particularly important. I completed a technical writing program at a local university in order to establish a definitive foundation for my expanding communication role. Understand the subject matter; a good writer with a strong technical background is a rare combination. Understand your audience; consider their perspective. Imagine doing their job and try to anticipate the information they need to perform the task or understand the data you are describing. Pay attention to technical accuracy and simplify the language. Use clear illustrations; ensure photographs print cleanly. Format consistently; make the document look good—people do in fact make judgments based on appearance. Originally trained as an engineering technologist and commercial diver, I draw on my experience to provide documentation services to the subsea engineering and fuel cell technology fields, among others. Technical writing functions exactly the same way. This textbook will present a few rules that you need to follow and will introduce a number of guidelines and principles that you can adapt to specific writing situations. Initially, you may have to make a conscious effort to apply them. But with a little discipline, these rules and principles will become automatic and you’ll find your writing improve not only in quality, but also in ease. You’ll write more quickly, more confidently, and more clearly. You Already Know How to Communicate Well There’s another reason you’ll find it easy to learn to communicate well in writing: you already know how communication works; you speak to people much of the day; you read magazine articles, newspapers, blogs, and websites; you watch the news; and occasionally you even read assigned texts for school. You know what works; you know what sounds good and what doesn’t, what creates clarity and what gets in the way. Now you just need to develop the habit of thinking like a reader and always asking yourself, “Would this be clear to me if I came across it for the first time and didn’t already know what it meant to say?” Attributes of Technical Writing Documents are tools used to convey specific information, and like any tool they need to be uniquely fashioned to achieve their specific purpose. However, they must always be Clear: they must be understood by readers on first reading, without any ambiguity or possibility of misunderstanding.
- 21. Complete: they need to provide all the information the reader will need in order to understand the situation and the required follow-up. Concise: they need to be as brief as possible while remaining clear and complete. The more words you use, the longer it takes to read and the more verbiage there is in which readers may lose their way. Accessible: they should be organized and formatted so that readers can find the specific information they require without having to read the entire document. Correct: they should be free of grammatical and mechanical errors. Grammatical errors can lead to misunderstandings and will, like mechanical errors, make you look unprofessional. Accurate: they must not contain any factual errors. Factual errors will make you look not just unprofessional, but incompetent. Take a look at the examples of poor and good writing in Figures 1.1 and 1.2 and see how these attributes apply. The purpose of the email is to set up a meeting about Fred’s draft proposal for Pinnacle Manufacturing.
- 22. FIGURE 1.1 Badly written and poorly organized email. Note how unhelpfully the information is structured and that the date, time, and location of the meeting are not provided. Read the subject line and ask yourself whether it accurately describes the content of the email. Does the email actually contain a proposal? FIGURE 1.2 Properly written and well-formatted email. Note how easy it is to find relevant information. This email is half as long but contains more useful information, like a suggested time and place for the meeting. The list of discussion topics will help Fred prepare for the meeting. The clear subject line will help him find this email in his congested inbox every time he needs to check the list of discussion topics as he prepares for the meeting. In the first email, the main idea comes much too late and the information is not clearly organized. The most important information in the document—the topics to be discussed at the meeting, for which Fred will have to prepare—is not easy to find. Some necessary information, such as the meeting time and place, is missing completely. The second email is far better. Even though, like the first, it takes the time to give Fred credit for work well done and has a friendly close, it is only 90 words long, compared to the first email’s 174. In other words, the second email is only about half as long yet contains more useful information, specifying, for example, a meeting time and place. This email has the virtues of conciseness and completeness. It’s also a far better work tool. It groups all the discussion topics for the meeting together and highlights them with a bulleted list. This list makes the key information—the information that Fred will have to work on before the meeting—easy to find and easy to work with. That is to say, this email makes information accessible. Throughout this text and throughout the course, you will be exploring concepts and developing skills to enable you to write the second kind of document, the kind that helps your colleagues to quickly understand useful information and to use it to perform necessary tasks—no more, no less.
- 23. The Writing Process So how do you go about crafting a concise, clear, and accessible professional document? In any writing situation, whether your document is short or long, formal or not, you should begin by thinking about what you hope to achieve with your document (its purpose) and to whom you are writing (the reader). Determine the Purpose Some things are better dealt with in person or on the phone. But if you need to accomplish something by writing, be absolutely clear on what it is you hope to accomplish. Generally, you’re trying to inform readers or trying to get them to do something. Often we combine these goals, as when you inform someone of an incident or circumstance and then request an action or an authorization for an action in response. For instance, you may send your construction manager an email informing them that your pump broke and that you’ve purchased a new one, attaching a copy of the invoice. Or you may have to ask for approval to spend the money if it exceeds a certain amount. Your purpose in the latter case would be to obtain permission as quickly as possible to purchase a new pump. “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” —Albert Einstein Consider the Audience The audience is the person or people to whom you’re writing. If the audience is intimately familiar with the details of your project, you won’t have to provide as much context. If the audience is a fellow techie, you won’t have to define your terms. If your audience doesn’t insist on pinching pennies when it comes to necessary equipment, you don’t have to do much persuading. However, if your audience is a budget-conscious accountant with no technical understanding of what you do, you may have to explain why replacing the pump is necessary given the hydrology of your site, even if it runs counter to the accounting department’s miserly instincts. Of course, you’ll also have to explain hydrology in layperson’s terms. This is how audience and purpose define the content of documents. Ask yourself before you start what your particular readers will need to know and need to be told so that they understand what you’re saying and will agree to what you’re asking. While every writing situation is unique, it is generally useful to think of audiences as falling into a few broad categories: decision makers, experts, agents, and general readers. Decision Makers Decision makers such as managers and supervisors, even if they come from a technical background, are often removed from the technical details of a project, their respon- sibilities being finance, policy, and administration. Managers are generally overwhelmed with correspondence, reports, and meetings, so they appreciate brief summaries to get the gist and clear context to figure out how your document fits into their business considerations as a whole. They may require definitions of technical terms. They will definitely want to know what you consider to be the most likely outcome of whatever you are recommending. Inasmuch as managers tend to be the people who decide whether your document gets turned into action, it is their information needs that you need to consider most strongly. Experts Technical experts have a thorough understanding of the technical details of your project. They require detailed technical information and helpful tables and illustrative figures. Often they are the only ones who will look at the supporting information in the appendices, and they may even check your calculations and question your conclusions. Busy managers often have their engineers, accountants, and other experts advise them on technical considerations, and thus experts often influence decisions even when they don’t have direct decision-making
- 24. responsibilities. Agents Agents are the readers who will be directed to carry out the actions described in your document, such as machine operators, field technicians, office staff, laboratory workers, installers, or sales staff. They require clear organization so that they can find the information they need, as well as clear instructions or procedures so that they can do what you need them to, without having your technical expertise. They will also always appreciate a clear explanation of why changes are necessary and how these changes will affect—and preferably improve—their workdays. General Readers General readers, or laypeople, have the least amount of technical expertise and are generally outside your organization: for example, citizens reading a report on the effects of an LRT extension on the environment, noise levels, traffic patterns, and so on in their neighbourhoods. General readers need technical terms to be defined, they benefit from frequent graphics that illustrate basic technical concepts, and they appreciate descriptions of how the content of the document (the proposed LRT extension) will affect—and preferably benefit—them. On occasion, general readers can be decision makers, for instance, if they are clients or community members who have a chance to vote on your proposal. Brainstorm the Content With your purpose and audience clearly in mind, start brainstorming. At this stage, simply jot down all the information that may be relevant and useful to your readers, in no particular order. Just put down ideas and elaborate on them a little, whether you are using brainstorming apps, word-processing software, or even the back of an envelope at this stage. Organize the Content Once you’re satisfied that you’ve identified all the information that you’ll need to include in your document, begin organizing it. You don’t need to rewrite it; save yourself some time by just numbering the items you’ve already written and drawing lines to connect them. Or, if brainstorming with an electronic device, rearrange your points with a few swipes or mouse clicks. In either case, what you’re trying to do is group the information into a specific sequence of categories. And there are two ways of thinking about this. You can think of your documents as one- way conversations with your readers or as stories you tell your readers. In either case, documents follow the organizational structure shown in Figure 1.3. The questions to the left and the descriptions on the right indicate what sort of information goes into each section of the document.
- 25. • • • FIGURE 1.3 Standard document organization as a conversation or a story. Documents can be thought of either as stories or as one-way conversations with readers who are unable to ask clarifying questions. Correspondence Is Like a One-Way Conversation The first way to think of a document, particularly correspondence, is as a conversation with the reader—except that the reader isn’t able to ask clarifying questions, so you’ll need to provide all the necessary details the first time around. Instead of poking your head into someone’s office to tell them something, you send an email. It’s as though you’re there waiting for your readers when they get back to the office. So how does a conversation flow? Generally, the first thing someone asks (or waits politely for you to tell them) is something along the lines of “Why are you here?,” “What do you want?,” “What’s up?,” or more politely perhaps, “How can I help you?” This is where you have but a few seconds to state your case. This is the main idea, called a summary in longer documents where there’s more than one main idea: I think we should have a follow-up meeting about the Pinnacle Manufacturing draft proposal this Wednesday at 3 p.m., in my office. Next, readers are going to wonder why you are making the request you are making or why the statement is important. The questions they will ask will be along the lines of “Why are you telling me this?,” “What’s this got to do with me?,” or “How does this fit in with our business/project?” They will wonder, in other words, about the context of your request or statement—in this case, “Why do you want to have a meeting?” The feedback from the team has been really positive, but we’ll need to discuss a few things. Once readers understand the purpose of your email and how it fits into the conduct of business, they’ll ask something along the lines of “What exactly happened?,” “What exactly are you requesting?,” or “What specific findings/deficiencies/parts list have you come up with?” In this case, the obvious question is “Well, what specific topics do you want to discuss at this meeting?” Information on the hidden wastage you found. This part of the proposal needs more development. Finalized production line schematics and workflow charts. Wai-Lin may have machine tool suggestions. A breakdown of your cost calculations. Fred from Accounting asked to discuss them. Generally, correspondence and reports require follow-up. You are writing because something has to get done. Writing is an integral part of getting things done in the workplace, so what specific action are you calling for? If
- 26. you are reporting on an accident, you might make suggestions to improve safety protocols. If you are requesting something, you might urge readers to grant the request and you might stipulate a deadline. In correspondence, if you have no specific request to make, or you’ve just made your request a few lines above, it’s pretty standard to close with an offer to answer questions or continue the conversation: Looking forward to seeing you at the meeting. Let me know if you have questions (ext. 4351). Reports Tell Stories The other way to think of documents, particularly reports, is as stories: they have a beginning, a middle, and an end. These parallels are obviously not perfect, but they help readers visualize the flow of information in a report or, perhaps, in longer correspondence. With that proviso, let’s proceed. In a story, we first introduce the context or set the scene: There once was a little girl called Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a deep dark forest with her mother. In that forest lived a big, bad wolf . . . This is the background information, the context within which the events of the story make sense. We do the same in a technical report. We first describe the circumstances that led to the writing of the report. We indicate how these circumstances relate to the conduct of business. We call this part the introduction in longer reports: On September 5, Pinnacle Manufacturing retained Johnson Engineering to investigate how the efficiency of Pinnacle’s production line could be improved. From September 12 to 15, Fred Nesbitt, production engineer with Johnson Engineering, visited the Pinnacle plant to observe . . . Then we tell the actual story. This is the part where Little Red Riding Hood goes into the woods to visit her grandmother and meets the big bad wolf. Alternatively, it’s the part where Fred Nesbitt visits the production line, interviews union representatives, researches company production metrics, and reads the company’s ISO (International Organization for Standardization) documentation on their purchasing practices. In part, the body of the report might read like this: Another problem, according to Jim Malhotra, shop floor supervisor, is that the production line experiences gaps in production when the cutting press at the start of the line runs out of the properly sized sheet metal. He blames the staff in the materials warehouse for not delivering supplies as needed. Frank Chan, who runs the warehouse, however, has indicated that his staff is busy keeping the rest of the production line supplied and has little oversight of what happens at the cutting presses. He feels that the production staff should anticipate their own needs and communicate them. After observing the production line for several days, I came to the conclusion that . . . At the end there is the moral of the story. It makes explicit the meaning of the events described in the story. This may be something along the lines that children shouldn’t be given adult responsibilities and be left unsupervised in a world of lurking dangers. But when they find themselves in such a danger, they can count on authority figures, like the hunter, to set things right. Admittedly, “Little Red Riding Hood” doesn’t make this point quite so explicitly. A report, however, would: It seems clear from the investigation that production at Pinnacle Manufacturing suffers from three main challenges: production slowdowns, materials wastage, and inefficient use of staff. To overcome these problems, Johnson Engineering recommends . . . In our report, we then do one more thing. We add a summary that condenses the whole report to roughly one- tenth the length of the original—more on that when we discuss formal reports in Chapter 7. We generally write the summary last, so we actually know what we are condensing, but we put it first in the report so that readers can get an overview at the start. If this overview proves sufficient, they may not even need to read the report for the details. At the request of Pinnacle Manufacturing, Johnson Engineering conducted a week-long on-site investigation of Pinnacle’s production line and discovered three problems with its efficiency: . . .
- 27. 1. 2. 3. To solve these problems, Johnson Engineering recommends . . . It may be useful to think of the summary as not being part of the report at all, but as a second, highly condensed version of the report included for the reader’s convenience. Its purpose is to enhance accessibility. Determine the Correct Writing Style You’ve analyzed your audience and, based on that analysis and the purpose of the document, you have decided what content should be included. Now go one step further. Different audiences require different writing styles. The box on pages 14–15, on audience, purpose, and tone, illustrates this. Write the First Draft (without Stopping) Once you have a clear outline, you already know what you’re going to say and in what order you’re going to say it —kind of like speech notes. And if we think of correspondence as a one-way conversation, then imagine yourself sitting across the desk from your reader, take a deep breath, and say what you would in person. But type. Don’t stop to second-guess yourself or you’ll lose the thread. Don’t bother to edit your sentences, to crack open a thesaurus, or to tweak your grammar. Just write. You know how to speak. You make yourself understood in conversation all the time. So, just string together the ideas you already have on the screen in front of you: unselfconsciously, with no fear of judgment. This will give you a good, fluid first draft. Imagining yourself speaking to the reader should also help you set the proper tone. Revise in Stages When revising your first draft, do it in the following stages, focusing on one type of revision at a time. In this sequence, we start with the large adjustments and make increasingly finer ones. Substantive editing: First, adjust and reorganize the content to make sure your document contains the right information in the proper sequence. If in reviewing your first draft you find that the content is not organized as logically as it should be or that it omits information necessary to craft a full argument, reorganize the content and fill in the gaps. Conversely, if you find that some information doesn’t advance the purpose of the document, delete it or put it into a separate document with a different purpose. For instance, in an email calling people to a meeting, don’t also remind them about the company picnic. Send such unrelated information in a separate email under a separate subject line. Of course, if you often find yourself editing and moving content after your first draft, you may want to take more time at the planning stage. In a sense, substantive editing would get you much of the way from the email in Figure 1.1 to the one in Figure 1.2, in which the content has been adjusted (with unnecessary information weeded out and the necessary information inserted) and rearranged. Remember: knowledge stuck in your head is no good to anyone else. Always think about how to make things perfectly clear to your readers. Stylistic editing: Only now that you have the proper information in its proper sequence, should you edit for style and tone. There’s no point agonizing about the precise phrasing of an idea or the perfect transition between two sentences until you’re sure that you won’t be moving the information or sentences around later. What is moved generally has to be re-edited and you’ll have wasted time. But once sentences are organized, you should make your document sound good when read aloud and create a tone appropriate for the reader. For help with crafting concise, clear sentences, check out Chapter 2, and for help crafting paragraphs that flow well, check out Chapter 3. For advice on crafting an appropriate tone, check out the Audience, Purpose, and Tone box on the next page. Copy editing: Only when you’ve settled on exactly how your sentences will read should you worry about grammar and mechanics. There’s no point in agonizing over the punctuation of a sentence that you are going to change for stylistic reasons later or looking up the tricky spelling of a word you are going to replace with an easier one. By the same token, it is only at this point that you should worry about the mechanics of your document, things such as the proper abbreviations and capitalization, accurate use of units of measurement, and so on. These are important in signalling attention to detail and respect for form, and they enhance the professionalism of a document. However, unless the rest of the document works
- 28. well, these elements are mere window dressing. For help with grammar and mechanics, check the Grammar and Usage Handbook at the end of the book. IN THE FIELD Audience, Purpose, and Tone The purpose of your document is to get your readers to know something, to understand something, or to do something. This requires considerable understanding of who your readers actually are—their technical understanding, their role in a project or task, and their motivations. It also requires some consideration of the writing context. BPA (bisphenol A) was widely used to harden plastics—for instance, in the manufacture of hard-plastic bottles, the reusable kind popular among hikers, runners, and cyclists. Canada was the first country to declare BPA a toxic substance. Subsequently, Canada forbade its use in baby bottles and restricted its use in the liners of cans containing baby food. Since then, Canada and other nations have taken even stronger steps to limit the use and prevent the environmentally unsound disposal of BPA. Let’s imagine a lead chemist, back in the day, managing the materials laboratory for a company that produces hard- plastic water bottles. Figure 1.4 shows what the chemist might write to a manager who determines the research budget. This manager is not a chemist, but she will be aware of the general debate around BPA because, though a scientifically untrained certified management accountant and an MBA, she works in the plastics industry. FIGURE 1.4 Email to a non-technical decision maker. The tone is somewhat formal because the reader is a work superior and a decision maker with whom the writer doesn’t work closely. Also, because the reader comes from a business background, not a technical background, the writer takes pains to define terms with which the reader may not be familiar. Finally, because the writer has not discussed the scenario with the reader extensively, he is also careful to clearly describe his reasoning. Figure 1.5 shows what the chemist might have written to a colleague after obtaining permission to run some experiments. The colleague is an industrial chemist working in the lab, actively developing plastics. He is aware of the issues and of the chemistry and has discussed with the lead chemist the need to develop BPA-free plastics. Reader and writer work together closely.
- 29. 4. FIGURE 1.5 Email to a colleague with a similar level of expertise on a topic familiar to both. This email is between two people who work together closely. Hence, even though one is the other’s superior, the tone is informal. Because reader and writer share similar technical backgrounds, the writer doesn’t need to define terms, and because this email is part of an ongoing discussion in the lab, the writer doesn’t need to explain his reasoning. Obviously this project will require many documents along the way, each ruled by the demands of purpose and audience. The lab reports on this project would be extremely technical; they will be read by other chemists asked to duplicate or improve the results. The promised monthly progress reports to management would relate lab results in a manner that could be understood by management and would have content relevant to the business decisions for which management is responsible. The lab reports would likely include chemical formulae, possibly molecular diagrams; the progress reports would not—unless they were intended for a very technically sophisticated audience and then only if that information helped achieve the purpose of the document. A technically sophisticated reader could always be directed to the lab reports. That’s the thing about content and tone: different audiences have different information needs based on their level of technical understanding and their role in the organization or in the project. Tone is a matter of how formal and how technical a document is. That, too, depends on the audience and situation. When speaking with technical audiences about technical content, we use technical terminology without definition; we refer to procedures, processes, equipment, and componentry without explanation because we can (or as long as we can) be sure that that particular audience will understand. Don’t insult a technical audience by baby-talking to it. On the other hand, a non-technical audience will generally get the Sesame Street version of technical descriptions with all terms defined and all processes explained painstakingly and in layperson’s terms. Of course, we have to ask ourselves in the first place whether the reader needs to know these terms or to understand these processes at all. Don’t frustrate a non-technical audience by writing something they can’t understand or bore them by describing technical details that are of no interest or relevance to them. Use a casual tone when corresponding with colleagues. Use a more formal tone when corresponding with a client, a superior, or a decision maker with whom you do not work closely and with whom you are not familiar. It’s probably the kind of thing you would do automatically if you were speaking directly to your audience. You should be able to do it in writing, with a little forethought. Depending on the kind of document you are producing, you may also have to double-check your references and citations, provide a glossary, and the like. When writing correspondence, double-check the spelling of people’s names and the accuracy of any contact information: mailing addresses, email addresses, and telephone numbers. Proofreading: If you are responsible for the final formatting of a document, do so in this final phase of the editing process because it wastes time to format things that you end up changing or deleting. In the professional world, you will generally use a corporate or organizational template that defines how your documents will be formatted and sets up things like the page margins, headers and footers, and so on, for you. Should you find yourself creating a document from scratch, your word-processing program will offer professionally designed document templates. Once the document is formatted, review it for errors in layout—mislabelled headings, misaligned paragraphs, misplaced figures, and missing headers or footers—as well as for any uncaught typos and last-minute fine tuning.
- 30. In a sense, you now know pretty much all the basic concepts of technical writing. All that remains is practice, specific examples, and the various applications. Congratulations: you’re on your way to becoming a competent technical writer. Exercises: Writing in the Workplace Your instructor will assign which exercises to do, whether to do them individually or in groups, and whether to do them at home or in class. Exercise 1.1: Understanding the Role of Writing in the Technical Workplace Make contact with a professional in your field and ask how much time they spend writing in an average workday or workweek. Ask for a list of the different types of documents they produce, how these fit into their organization’s workflows, and why these documents are necessary. Report to the class and write the list of documents on the whiteboard. Chances are that your contact will have forgotten some documents or that additional documents are produced in other niches of your field. Ask your classmates whether they can add to the list from their inquiries. With the help of your instructor, create a project timeline, flagging at what stage different documents are required. Some documents—such as emails, agendas and minutes for regular meetings, and periodic progress reports—will, of course, be produced throughout a project. Exercise 1.2: Brainstorming and Sequencing Document Content Organize the information in the brainstorming examples below into proper document sequence. Label and number them right on the page; for example, use “C” for context and then a number for the order in which you would place the information within the context section. Alternatively, retype the information in proper sequence, or, if your instructor provides copies as handouts, cut them up and rearrange the pieces on your desk. But don’t cut up the textbook, as tempting as that may be! Your instructor has answer keys to distribute and discuss. Exercise 1.2.1: Scenario A In this scenario, you are the head of production at Pinnacle Manufacturing announcing to your department heads that Johnson Production Engineering has been selected to investigate your production line problems. Your purpose is to get everyone to meet the consultant on Monday morning at 09:00 and to get them to bring the documentation for which the consultant has asked. Hint: begin with the main idea or purpose of the document in brief. Then elaborate. We have chosen a production consultant. Meeting with their representative at 0900 Monday morning in my office. Brian would like some documentation as well to familiarize himself with our operations. We have chosen Johnson Production Engineering of Markham, ON. My extension is 214. Brian Lee is the consultant who will be working with us. Call me if you have questions or ideas. Brian arrives on Monday morning and will stay for three days. Brian needs to interview the production heads, observe procedures, and speak with workers. Johnson PE has experience in the automotive industry: assembly and parts production. Looking forward to getting started. Brian needs ISO documentation for purchasing procedures. Brian would like ISO documentation for production processes.
- 31. Johnson PE is perfectly positioned to help us with our production of smart meters. Brian is interested in org charts from the production departments. Brian would like to see the production line schematics. We have been looking for some time for someone to help identify and correct problems on our production line. Brian requires production metrics. Exercise 1.2.2: Scenario B In this scenario, you are the consultant that Johnson Production Engineering has sent to Pinnacle Manufacturing. You’re waiting to get on the plane back to your office in Markham, Ont., and are composing an email of your initial impression of the project for your supervisor, Jane, who has asked to be kept in the loop. But your real purpose is to ask for advice about a personnel issue at Pinnacle. Their production and warehouse managers have a personal conflict that is affecting productivity. You’re not trained in conflict resolution, so you need to ask Jane for advice. Lead with the main idea. Then sort the rest of your notes into proper document sequence. Hi Jane, Pinnacle Manufacturing has a personnel issue. I need advice. So far I’ve taken a look at their documentation and observed their processes. Please let me know so I can get started as soon as I land. You assigned me to the project on Sept. 5. There is a personnel issue as well as issues with the set-up of the production line. The personal issue is affecting productivity, independent of the production set-up. I’m already seeing where some processes could be improved. I will look into things further and should be able to come up with some substantial recommendations. Can someone on staff, perhaps from HR, advise me? I visited their facility Sept. 12 through 15. Pinnacle hired us to find out why their productivity is below industry average. They have never come across this issue before. In speaking with the supervisors of the production floor and the warehouse, I learned that these two people don’t like one another. Exercise 1.2.3: Scenario C In this scenario, you are still the consultant from Johnson Production Engineering who has been assigned to resolve the production problems at Pinnacle Manufacturing. This is the follow-up to your email to Jane in Exercise 1.2.2. Jane has put you in touch with someone from HR who, after you explained the situation at Pinnacle, suggested that you find a procedural solution—that is, a way to get the work done that limits contact between the supervisors. In this email, you will do so. Pleasure to meet you and your staff. I’m looking forward to working on this project, but have a preliminary suggestion that I can make already. Someone should be assigned to provide 50 pieces of precut sheet metal to the cutting press every hour.
- 32. The production line experiences gaps because the cutting press at the start of the line occasionally runs out of materials. Jim Malhotra, production floor supervisor, blames the warehouse for not supplying materials on time. I should have my report ready in two weeks. Please let me know if you have questions: 1-905-554-1234. These gaps are costly but easy to prevent. Frank Chan, warehouse supervisor, says production should request materials when they run low. Says his staff is too busy and don’t have a good line of sight to the cutting press. You should impose a procedural solution. Your target is to produce 50 smart meters per hour. Jim and Frank cannot agree and neither has authority over the other. Exercise 1.3: From Sequenced Notes to First Draft (without Stopping) In class, take your sequenced notes from Exercise 1.2 and read out a first draft. You have the notes in front of you, properly sequenced, so you know what you need to say and in what order. As explained in the chapter readings above, imagine yourself sitting across the desk from your reader, take a deep breath, and say what you would say to them in person. If you were taking dictation from yourself, or were dictating to Siri or Cortana, you’d already have your first draft written. Exercise 1.4: Request for Information on Technical Writing Workshops In this scenario, you have been asked to find a consultant to come to your office to train the new hires, engineers in training (EITs). What follows is the first draft of an email you are sending to a likely candidate. As in Figure 1.1, this email is poorly organized and needs substantive editing. Reorganize the content, then write your revised version out in full. Subject line: Request for information on potential technical writing workshops Hi Mary, We would like information on your technical writing workshops. We have eight recent engineering grads who require upgrading on their writing skills. We would prefer to run the workshops during the week. Specifically, we would like you to help these EITs with basic writing skills (sentences and paragraphs); their sentences need to be shorter, more clear, and less passive. We would prefer to run the workshops during the week, for instance on a series of consecutive Wednesdays, during work hours so that we are not imposing on our employees’ free time. Another thing we’d like you to cover in these workshops would be document organization and structure; their emails, informal reports, and formal reports lack proper flow and structure. Your website indicates that you offer seminar series on a number of professional skills, including technical writing. Oh, and could you also teach them some software skills in MS Word to make them more productive; they are, for instance, not familiar with the use of sentence styles. Please let me know whether you are available, the structure and content of the workshops, and what they would cost. If you have questions, please get back to me. Sincerely,
- 33. • • • • 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 2 Technical Sentences In this chapter you will learn how to focus sentences on their real subjects and verbs how to rid your writing of meaningless words and expressions how to develop a confident, active, professional tone how to convey your meaning clearly and concisely. Introduction If we want our documents to be as direct, concise, and clear as possible, it stands to reason that our sentences—the basic building blocks of those documents—should be as well. Yet we frequently encounter examples like the following: Also reviewed was the root barrier installation on the upper roof decks, which was progressing during our inspection. It was observed that the root barrier was installed; however, correction of the irrigation scuppers and waterproofing of the anchor back plates were not carried out. (44 words) If you were familiar with the terms and processes, you might not have a problem figuring out what was meant. Even so, you’d have to agree that the following revision is a dramatic improvement: The root barrier on the upper roof decks was being installed during our inspection; however, the irrigation scuppers had not yet been corrected, nor had the anchor back plates been waterproofed. (31 words) This second version is far clearer and easier to understand. It is also about a third shorter, which is no coincidence. While the first example is decipherable with modest effort, ask yourself whether a reader would rather struggle through a 44-page report written in this manner or breeze through a 31-page report written in the revised manner. Now consider that some of the documents you will produce in the workplace will run to hundreds of pages. But take heart: the rest of this chapter provides a step-by-step strategy to make your writing clear, direct, simple, and effective. After writing your first draft (without stopping) and then completing your substantive editing, as described in Chapter 1, edit your sentences in the following sequence: Find the real subject. Find the real verb. Edit for conciseness. Edit for clarity. Edit for inclusive language. Check the grammar and mechanics.
- 34. Eventually, of course, these strategies will become automatic and your first drafts will require less and less revision. Find the Real Subject The word “subject” has two meanings in relation to a sentence. The first is grammatical. The subject of a sentence is the thing that makes the action, the verb, happen. But the subject of the sentence also refers to the topic of a sentence: what the sentence is about. As a guideline, but not an absolute rule, a sentence works best when the main grammatical subject also defines the topic of the sentence. A sentence generally also works best if the subject appears at the start of the sentence, just as documents should begin with the summary, and paragraphs should begin with a topic sentence (Chapter 3). That way, readers know right at the start what the sentence is about, making it easier to interpret. The following subsections describe techniques for finding the real subjects of sentences. Be as Direct as Possible The secret to writing effective sentences is to be direct and say what you mean. So, as you are editing your sentences, ask yourself, “What is this sentence really about? What is its real subject? What is really driving the action?” Begin with that. The decision of the engineers was to double the chlorine concentration in the water treatment process. The engineers decided to double the chlorine concentration in the water treatment process. The drainage of runoff should be directed onto pervious ground. Runoff should be directed onto pervious ground. Whenever possible, make the subject a real person or something concrete, not an abstraction—that is, an engineer instead of a decision, or runoff (water) instead of drainage (a concept). Avoid Meaningless Sentence Starts (Weak Expletives) Weak expletives are expressions such as “there are” and “it is” that take the place of the main noun and the main verb at the beginning of the sentence. Unless the “it” refers to a specific antecedent, these expressions are completely meaningless. There are eight hoisting points that need to be reinforced. Eight hoisting points need to be reinforced. It is not expected that we pay immediately. We are not expected to pay immediately. We don’t need to pay immediately. While it is not always wrong to use a weak expletive, try to avoid it. However, if the resulting sentence sounds worse, reinsert the weak expletive. Often, using a weak expletive is the best way to settle an is-there-or-isn’t-there question. No reason exists to keep him on staff. (Ugh! This sounds terrible.) We have no reason to keep him on staff. (Correct, but the emphasis is weak.) There is no reason to keep him on staff. (This is better.) Use the Active Voice In the active voice, the subject (agent) performs the action and precedes the verb: The technologist carefully calibrated the instrument.
- 35. The tree shaded the room. The puppy licked my face. In the passive voice, the subject (agent) is not performing the main action in the sentence and, if it appears at all, follows the verb: The instrument was carefully calibrated by the technologist. The room was shaded by the tree. My face was licked by the puppy. Technical people overuse the passive voice because they think it makes them sound more objective. But the voice in which an opinion or fact is expressed doesn’t alter its validity or the writer’s intent. What the passive voice will do, however, is make the writing faceless, frustrate the reader’s desire to visualize an agent for an action, and force the writer into awkward, tangled sentence constructions. The investigation into the Johal noise complaint was conducted on May 15. Noise measurements were taken at 50 m intervals in a direct line from the wind turbine toward the Johal residence. This line was deviated from at the pond, at which point measurements had to be taken around the perimeter of the pond until the original line of travel was able to be resumed. (passive voice) Here is the same report excerpt in the active voice: We investigated the Johal noise complaint on May 15, taking noise measurements at 50 m intervals in a line from the wind turbine toward the Johal residence. We had to deviate from this line at the pond, taking measurements around its perimeter until we were able to resume the original line of travel. (active voice) Note how much more clear and concise the active voice is. It also makes the writer sound more competent, forthright, confident, and professional. So, make the active voice your default, except when what you are writing about is, in fact, passive. For instance, if you are writing a description of a room, then as part of that description, you might write, “The room is shaded by the tree.” The room is the subject of the sentence or paragraph, not the tree. The other times you would use the passive voice are when you don’t care who the agent is (“The building was erected in 1960”—in this sentence we’re not at all concerned by whom), when you don’t know who the agent is (“The report was sent to WikiLeaks anonymously”), or when you have something to hide and don’t want readers to know who the agent is (“Mistakes were made … Papers were shredded … Relevant emails were deleted”). If you require more persuasion to use the active voice as your default, consider the following: if three of the four reasons for using the passive voice are that you don’t know, don’t care, or have something to hide, what sort of impression are you making on readers when you use the passive voice unnecessarily? Address Readers Directly One trick for writing actively is to address readers directly as “you.” Writers often go out of their way to avoid writing “you” and end up with convoluted, passive sentence structures. If a leak is detected … If you detect a leak … Do not open any fitting unless accompanied by qualified personnel and it has been ascertained that the component is not pressurized. Do not open any fitting unless you are qualified to do so and are certain that the component is not pressurized. Don’t refer to “one”; use “you.” One must read all safety rules and instructions before beginning work.
- 36. Read all safety rules and instructions before you begin work. The second of these two sentences is written in the imperative mood, described in more detail below. Use the Imperative Mood Often as a professional you’ll find yourself giving advice or providing instruction. Don’t be shy about using the command voice, called the imperative mood by grammarians, or the “you-understood” voice by laypersons. The imperative mood complements the active voice. No tie-ins should be performed during summer months. Do not perform tie-ins during the summer months. (“you” understood) All efforts should be made to ensure that water is discharged onto landscaped or pervious areas. Discharge water onto landscaped or pervious areas. (“you” understood) If this seems too curt or peremptory, feel free to preface your request with a “please.” This is a perfectly polite way to tell people what to do. Please have that on my desk by 0800 tomorrow morning. Find the Real Verb (Avoid Nominalizations) Starting a sentence with the real subject does not guarantee that the sentence will continue with the real verb. The programmers made a modification to the software after the technical writers had completed the documentation. The programmers modified the software after the technical writers had completed the documentation. The chemistry professor gave a demonstration of cold fusion. The chemistry professor demonstrated cold fusion. When you turn a good, strong, clear verb such as “modify” into a long, weak verb phrase like “made a modification to,” you create a nominalization. The following table provides a short list of common nominalizations and their hidden verbs. REPLACE WITH are in agreement with agree carry out an analysis analyze come to a conclusion conclude conduct an investigation/inspection/ installation/review investigate/inspect/install/ review give an indication of indicate give assistance to assist have a discussion about discuss make arrangements/decision arrange/decide perform a demonstration demonstrate place an order for order take into consideration consider take the measurement measure
- 37. undertake a review review To check for nominalizations, look for broad, general-purpose verbs—such as “carry out,” “perform,” “conduct,” “undertake,” “give,” or “make”—where specific actions are being described. Chances are you’ll find a following noun that can be translated into the specific verb you need. On longer documents, consider using the “Find” function in your word-processing program to help you find all instances of these verbs. Edit for Conciseness To be clear and easy to understand, sentences should be short. They should express one main thought only, with perhaps a couple of supporting thoughts. As a rough guideline, make your sentences no more than 20 words long, on average, and make your paragraphs no more than 7 lines long, again, on average. Don’t be afraid to use sentences that are much shorter, though if you use too many of them in a row, your paragraph will be choppy. The following subsections describe techniques for creating concise, clear sentences. Avoid Wordy Expressions Replace long expressions with shorter ones if they express the same idea. REPLACE WITH a decreased number of fewer a large number of many a long period of time a long time a majority of most adjacent to near, next to an increased number of more as well as and, also at a rapid rate rapidly at this point in time at this point, now by means of by causal factor cause comply with follow due to the fact that due to, because during the month of April during April, in April during the period of during for the purpose of for, to gain access to access, get, obtain has a tendency to tends to, may in a timely manner on time, promptly in addition to besides in close proximity near, next to in connection with about in excess of more than in lieu of instead
- 38. in most cases usually in order to to in regards to as for, about in short supply scarce in the absence of without in the course of during in the event of if in the event that if in the near future soon involves the use of uses is capable of can it can be seen that —delete altogether— it has been noted that —delete altogether— it is recognized that —delete altogether— it is necessary that we we must/we need to not later than by, before on a daily/weekly/ regular basis daily/weekly/ regularly on a timely basis on time on numerous occasions often prior to before pursuant to by, following, as per, under with reference to about with regard to about, as to years of age years old Avoid Redundancies Avoid careless or useless repetition of the same idea or meaning: We used (already) existing technologies. We won’t proceed at (the) present (time). We started (out) in the morning. If the symptoms (still) persist, call me. The transcripts are complete (and unabridged). The chemist mixed (together) the reagents. Watch out for these other common redundancies: a crisis (situation) (absolutely) essential (actual) experience (advanced) planning (all time) record (basic) essentials blue (in colour) (close) proximity (complete) stop (completely) destroy (currently) available (different) varieties
- 39. (each and) every eliminate (completely) (end) result estimated at (about) (exactly) identical (falsely) misrepresent (final) outcome (flatly) deny (future) outlook glance (briefly) (honest) opinion (in-depth) study (integral) part introduced a (new) (meaningful) dialogue (mutual) co-operation (near) proximity never (before) (new) innovation none (at all) (past) history period (of time) (personal) friend (personal) opinion (posted) sign (pre-)planning (private) industry (rate of) speed (self-)confessed (separate) entities severe (in nature) small (in size) start (out) (terrible) tragedy triangular (in shape) (true) facts (uniformly) consistent (very) unique Edit for Clarity Break Up Chains of Nouns Sometimes writers string nouns into long chains to come up with a name for something. But if these chains become difficult to understand, break them up: The deadline for the municipal groundwater level investigation completion report is Monday morning. The deadline for the completion report on the investigation into the municipal groundwater table is Monday morning. (revised) The completion report on the investigation into the municipal groundwater table is due on Monday morning. (best) Even though the revised sentence turned out to be longer, it is clearer, and clarity is always the first priority in a professional document. Use Simple Language Big words won’t impress readers, but they may puzzle readers. Always use the simplest word that will convey your meaning. On the other hand, always use the word that most accurately expresses what you need to say, even if the word may not be generally known. If it is a technical term, you may want to define it. If it is a general word, let your readers look it up in a dictionary. Just don’t force them to do so unnecessarily. REPLACE WITH accomplish do acknowledge admit, concede additional more, extra, added administer manage, run advocate support, call for alternative other, choice amendment change approximately about ascertain determine, learn, find out attempt try
- 40. beneficial good for, useful bona fide real characteristic trait, feature commence start, begin communicate tell, inform, write complimentary free comprise consist of, be made up of conspicuous obvious constitute make up criterion test, rule, standard deem consider development change, growth duplicate copy, repeat endeavour try endorsement support, backing envisage foresee exonerate clear, acquit expenditure cost, expense expiration end facilitate make easier, encourage, promote forward send fundamental basic, real illumination light, insight illustration example, picture inaccuracy mistake, error inadvertent careless, accidental incorrect wrong indispensable vital, essential, crucial initial first injunction ban, order latitude scope, range locality place, site methodology method minuscule tiny mitigate ease, temper modification change necessitate need, call for nominal small, token notification warning, notice
- 41. numerous many objective aim, end, goal obligation duty observation remark, comment obtain get, gain participate take part, join in perception view permission consent pertaining to about, of, on prerogative right presently soon prioritize rank probability chance, likelihood procure get, buy, order, find prohibit ban proliferation spread purchase buy rationale reason, theory recuperate recover reiterate repeat render make, give require need, ask for restrain stop retain keep saturate soak stringent strict substantiate prove, back up sufficient enough systematic orderly, regular technicality detail, minor point terminate end therein there thereof of it, of that transform alter, change transmit send transparent clear, lucid unfavourable poor unmistakable clear, plain, evident unpretentious modest, humble
- 42. unveil announce utilize use vacillate waver, falter, hesitate validity truth, proof velocity speed verbatim exact, exactly, word for word vicinity area, region visualize see, picture withstand bear, endure, resist Avoid Jargon The terms and expressions unique to a discipline or profession are called jargon. Within those disciplines, jargon serves as technical shorthand and is extremely useful. But when jargon is misapplied outside of its specific technical application, it is inexact and irritating. I’ve made some improvements to the user interface. (appropriate use of jargon) We need to interface about that. (annoying use of jargon) REPLACE WITH access (as a verb) find, get, buy, obtain, get to address (as a verb) discuss, study, consider, deal with aggregate total, whole characterize describe, specify concurrence agreement continuum scale, series dialogue discussion, talk elect choose enhance improve, increase expedite hasten, speed up facilitate help, allow, permit, start, carry out feedback response, reaction, results functionality feature impact (as a verb) affect, increase, reduce implement begin, set up, do, carry out, start input information, figures, opinion (or be specific about what the input is) interface (as a noun) connection, contact interface (as a verb) meet, work with, talk to liaise meet, work with, talk to, coordinate network (as a verb) meet, work with, talk to optimal best optimize improve, increase
- 43. optimum best, most, greatest parameters factors, guidelines, variables, limitations posture opinion, position pursuant to according to, following regarding about, as for requisite necessary scenario situation, events source (as a verb) find, locate synergy joint efforts, common goals, compatibility thrust (as a verb) project, move, attempt upgrade improve, better utilization use value added value value proposition business proposition viable possible, feasible, workable, practical vis-à-vis about, of Check for Inclusive Language Use inclusive pronouns to refer to the subjects of your sentences, unless you can be sure of the subject’s gender (“Please tell Mike that he must apply before the deadline”). But avoid those awful-sounding “he/she” and “him/her” constructions. When the taxpayer is filing his/her return by himself/herself, he/she should keep all of his/her receipts for seven years. Instead, change the sentence to use a plural subject. This is good practice for all general or universal references. When taxpayers file their returns by themselves, they should keep all their documentation for seven years. Or address readers directly using “you” and “your”: When you file your tax return, keep your documentation for seven years. Alternatively, edit the sentence so that pronouns become unnecessary. This is easiest when you can refer to the subject by a title or designation. After filing a tax return, the taxpayer should keep all receipts for seven years. However, make sure you use non-gendered titles and designations: police officer, firefighter, letter carrier (not mailman), humankind (not mankind, or even “peoplekind”), business person, actor (for both sexes and all genders), supervisor (not foreman), flight attendant (not steward and stewardess), and so on. You have one more option with the personal pronouns, but you should use it sparingly: if the sentence cannot easily be edited to use one of the strategies employed above, you can use a plural pronoun to refer to a singular subject. Ask your technical writing instructor whether they consider using plural pronouns for singular subjects an acceptable strategy in exceptional cases.
- 44. In the example above, this strategy is acceptable. You have only one technical writing instructor, but the writer does not know your instructor’s gender. This use is also acceptable if the writer knows that the instructor prefers the pronoun “they.” Check the Grammar and Mechanics The final editing step is proofreading for grammar and mechanics. If you are unsure about either, refer to the Grammar and Usage Handbook at the end of this book. When your instructor labels grammatical and mechanical errors in the margins of your assignment, use the handbook to correct those errors. FIGURE 2.1 Badly written message. Obviously the writer meant that you can advertise your car for $20 in the newspaper. The phrasing suggests, however, that the sales price of the car is $20. Always make sure that what you’ve written can’t possibly be misinterpreted, accidentally or even wilfully—by a lawyer, for instance. Source: Courtesy of Andre Lanz Editing Technical Sentences When editing your sentences, check for the following: Subjects and Verbs Are your subjects and verbs focused on what the sentence is actually about? Are your subjects as concrete as they can be and are your verbs as strong as possible? Are the weak expletives necessary to the sentence or just random thought starters? Is your voice active, unless required to be passive by the subject? Wording Have you used the simplest words and shortest expressions that best convey your intended meaning? Have you ruthlessly eliminated redundancies, expressions of the obvious, and otherwise unnecessary words? Have you consistently used gender-neutral language except where you can be sure of the gender of your reader or subject?
- 45. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. Grammar and Mechanics Have you checked the Grammar and Usage Handbook whenever you’re unsure of the punctuation, capitalization, or other fussy correctness of your sentences? Exercises: Editing Technical Sentences Edit the sentences in the following exercises to make them as clear and concise as possible, without changing their meaning. Do so singly, in pairs, or in groups, as determined by your instructor. Your instructor has access to the answer keys online, as well as to additional exercises. Exercise 2.1: Shorter Sentences on No Particular Topic In many instances the lead engineer failed to submit the personnel evaluations in a timely manner. A decreasing number of students are studying the sciences, while an increasing number of students are studying business and economics. Municipal wastewater has a tendency to concentrate phosphorus and nitrogen. The engineers will make modifications to the wastewater treatment process so that a decreased amount of phosphorus will be released into the river. There are three water pumps at the mine whose purpose it is to clear groundwater out of the shafts. It is possible that the retained-fill structure may cause interference with existing drainage patterns. Run-of-the-river power plants have a need to be built in close proximity to rivers in order that they can take advantage of the spring freshets, that is to say, the snow melt. Incorporation of subdrains into the structure may have to be undertaken at these points. There will be no requirement for water quality enhancement methods assuming the provision that runoff water does not become contaminated. There is a likelihood that the elevated structure will be cross-sloped so that runoff will be directed toward the gutters. Exercise 2.2: Longer Sentences on No Particular Topic There are some new safety protocols we need to have a discussion about, following the incident of the fire in the processing lab. It is absolutely essential that your report’s formatting be uniformly consistent in order to make the best impression on the client that it is possible for us to make. The engineer has made predictions that the roadway changes will create an increase in general traffic and that this will inevitably create an increase in accidents. It is difficult to establish a general area cost per square foot of installation for this system due to the fact that each installation is quite unique and depends on many different factors. While it is true that many international consumer electronics manufacturers will add Netflix buttons to their remote controls for the North American market, it is a fact that there may be severe monthly bandwidth limitations imposed on Canadian consumers. It is a matter of logic that these sorts of industrial facilities are also likely targets for cyber-terrorists as it is a known fact that an attack on these facilities would cause widespread disruptions in terms of the economy, as well as to the environment. There is a limitation to the effectiveness of on-site computer backups in the home or in the office because thieves may steal the back-up device at the very same time they steal a person’s computer. It is an oft-told and generally accepted axiom that a 10,000-square-metre data centre has the capacity to release as much carbon dioxide as to be the equivalent of 100,000 SUVs on the road getting 25 litres per 100 kilometres. Given the fact that more and more employees are using and sharing confidential information on mobile devices such as tablets and smartphones, there is a growing trend that proprietary information is increasingly compromised due to
- 46. 10. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. lost or stolen mobile devices than there is to any actual hacking. Malware in the form of Trojan horse viruses for stealing corporate information are increasingly being distributed through free games for children because it is well known that when employees bring home their work laptops, their children will oftentimes download games onto them to play. Exercise 2.3: Keystone Species There is a type of species called a keystone species that is one that has a disproportionately large effect on its host environment when compared to its relatively small numbers. Such species are described as playing a critical role in helping in the maintenance of the structure of an ecological community. It is said that they have an effect on many other organisms in an ecosystem and help to determine the types and numbers of various other species in the community. To give just one example, when wolves were reintroduced to the famous Yellowstone National Park they immediately began to hunt and prey on the elk that had been the only other major mammalian species in the area. As an immediate consequence, the number of the elk population began to dwindle and as the elk began to learn to stay on the high ground to better see their predators and thereby stay safe, there were a number of startling changes that began to take place in the park. In the valleys, all the various young saplings that the elk had been eating up to that point were now able to grow into full trees. This had the consequent effect of attracting many species of bird that had been up to then missing from the area. What happened also is that because the streams and the rivers were once again shaded by trees, their temperature dropped and this had the resultant effect of allowing trout to return and indeed to thrive. With the abundance of trees, beavers once again found a home in the area, where they built the dams for which they are so known, and this created ponds that attracted frogs, as well as the predators of frogs such as snakes. It was in this way that wolves even despite their small number were nonetheless able to affect the restoration of the balance and also of the diversity of the ecosystem in Yellowstone National Park. Exercise 2.4: Photosynthesis It is a known fact that plants are not able to make use of the whole entirety of the light spectrum of visible light for the process of photosynthesis. The part of the light that can be utilized for the process of photosynthesis is what is called the photosynthetically active radiation (PAR). The PAR range has been determined to lie between the wavelength values of at least 400 to at most 700 nanometres (billionth of a metre). Even in this range, not all wavelengths are equally effective. Green light, that would be the light of between 500 and 600 nm, is not well able to be absorbed by chlorophyll. This is precisely why it is the green light that is partially reflected back by the chlorophyll, making plants look green. The main absorption peaks most effective for chlorophyll actually happen to lie in the red and blue light bands. What is generally not well known is the fact that leaves don’t just automatically conduct photosynthesis whenever they are exposed to sunlight. If it is the case that the plant cannot store the starches that are being produced or that it cannot do so quickly enough, then the chloroplasts will stop the process of photosynthesis. The quantity of photosynthesis carried out will always be dependent on precisely three properties of the light striking the leaf, the first of which is the quality of the light, the second of which is the intensity of the light, and the third of which is the duration of the light shining on the leaf.
- 47. • • • • • • • • 3 Technical Paragraphs In this chapter you will learn how to keep paragraphs short and to the point how to use topic sentences to orient readers and enable scanning how to tie sentences together to make paragraphs flow and easy to understand. Like technical sentences, technical paragraphs should be short, direct, simple, and unadorned. Technical information can be very complex, even for a technical audience, so make your documents as easy to understand as possible. Create this clarity by breaking complex information into small, clear, easily digested paragraphs. Apply the following guidelines for constructing effective paragraphs: Keep paragraphs short. Begin paragraphs with a topic sentence. Make paragraphs unified. Make paragraphs complete. Make paragraphs cohesive. Keep Paragraphs Short We try to keep paragraphs short for the same reasons we keep sentences short. Smaller bits of information are easier to process. Therefore, every sentence should express only a single thought and every paragraph should express only a single idea. In general, paragraphs should be no more than seven lines long, on average. If they are longer than that, check that the writing is concise. If it is, check that you’ve discussed only a single idea in the paragraph. Some paragraphs may well have to be more than seven lines long to cover their topic. Generally, though, if you’ve written clear, tight sentences and your paragraphs are still more than ten lines long, you are probably trying to do too much in a single paragraph. In those cases, break the paragraph in two. However, despite what you may have been told in high school, paragraphs have no minimum length: one- sentence paragraphs are perfectly legitimate. Begin Paragraphs with a Topic Sentence Ideally, a paragraph should start with a topic sentence that lets readers know what the paragraph is about: To optimize a building for passive solar thermal control, the first consideration is the building’s orientation on the site and its design. Obviously, the longer side of the building should face due south, to expose the walls and, especially, the
- 48. glazing to the sun for as much of the day as possible. In general, the ideal length-to-width ratio is between 1.3 and 1.5 to 1. This ratio creates liveable proportions for the interior arrangements of the building, while permitting the sun’s rays to penetrate deep into the interior. For this reason, the larger rooms are usually placed on the south side, providing more natural light and exposing more floor area to the sun. Aside from orientation and layout, thermal mass also plays a vital role in managing and stabilizing temperature in a passive solar house. Thermal mass captures and stores solar radiation in the form of heat until the mass reaches ambient temperature. Only when the mass’s temperature exceeds the ambient temperature will it begin to release the stored heat. In this manner, thermal mass stabilizes indoor temperature throughout the 24-hour sun cycle. For this reason, the walls and floors of passive solar homes are often made of particularly thick materials that can absorb and store a lot of heat. However, much of the effort to capture and regulate thermal energy can be undone by furnishings. Carpet, for instance, can reduce a floor’s solar gain by up to 70%; linoleum by up to 50%. The former insulates the floor; the latter reflects solar radiation. Bare concrete floors and ceramic tiling work best to ensure that the UV radiation striking the interior surfaces of the building is stored as heat within the surface, rather than heating the indoor air. Another consideration is the landscaping surrounding the structure. For instance, trees, especially evergreens, planted too close to south-facing windows will prevent heat gain in the winter. Because both the interior and the exterior of passive solar homes have to be carefully designed to take the solar path into consideration, changes to landscaping made by owners can easily cause homes to overheat in the summer or to fail to capture sufficient heat in the winter. The first topic sentence informs readers that this paragraph is about how to orient and lay out a house for optimal passive solar thermal control. The topic sentence also hints that subsequent paragraphs will describe other factors that affect solar thermal control: “the first consideration is …” Presumably there will be others. The second topic sentence informs readers that the second paragraph describes the effect of thermal mass on passive solar thermal control. The rest of the paragraph then describes this effect in more detail. IN THE FIELD Gary Dean, P.Eng., AMIMechE, Graduated Queen’s University of Belfast 1996 When I embarked on my career in mechanical engineering, I expected to develop and use a skill-set heavily biased toward technical abilities but away from an extensive use of text. I imagined I would undertake research, analysis, calculations, collation of data, and presentation of that data in a logical, graphical manner, with little use of the English language. This naive notion was quickly dispelled. From university, I landed a job at Ford Motor Company in Essex, Great Britain, and was charged with overseeing the design of base engine and lubrication components for a new family of small diesel engines. This task involved my having to describe the function of each component, all the possible ways a component could fail to meet that function, the reason for the failure, and the effect on the engine system as experienced by the customer (e.g., the assembly plant worker, the vehicle mechanic, or the owner of the vehicle). Essentially, my job devolved to writing. I quickly learned that an ability to describe a situation clearly, so as to be understood by readers with both technical and non-technical backgrounds, was a critical skill in engineering. As my career progressed within Ford, from design engineering through to a supervisory role, I discovered that strong writing skills were also required in many other areas related to engineering work—chairing meetings and issuing minutes; reporting on design testing and development; resolution of issues; tracking of cost, weight, and schedule targets; and staff appraisals. Engineers may also be approached to lead extracurricular activities and studies. In this vein, I was asked to head a team of engineers in implementing a process of “kitting” high-complexity engine parts to travel along the assembly line with the engine, thereby reducing the space required for parts storage at line-side. After a series of meetings, I summarized the opinions of my team and wrote a justification document. The recommendation was accepted and the system installed. Writing skills had thus helped to illustrate and implement a solution.
- 49. Prospective engineers should understand that writing skills are independent of any technical knowledge or experience gained and thus never become obsolete or irrelevant because of technical changes in an industry. If engineering is the practice of turning ideas into reality, then technical writing is one of the primary means by which engineers communicate their visions to others. It is absolutely central to the professional practice of engineering. The third topic sentence introduces the fact that furnishings can undo much of the benefit of thermal mass; the rest of the paragraph provides examples to develop and support this assertion. The fourth topic sentence informs readers that landscaping also plays a role; the rest of the paragraph describes how. This is precisely how a paragraph should work: the topic sentence orients readers and the rest of the paragraph provides the details. Now reread just the four topic sentences: To optimize a building for passive solar thermal control, the first consideration is the building’s orientation on the site and its design. Aside from orientation and layout, thermal mass also plays a vital role in managing and stabilizing temperature in a passive solar house. However, much of the effort to capture and regulate thermal energy can be undone by furnishings. Another consideration is the landscaping surrounding the structure. Do you get a sense of how this description of passive solar housing and thermal mass is organized? Note also that the topic sentences provide transition between the ideas in the paragraphs. This is why the topic sentences read so well together. See more on transition below. By beginning every paragraph with a proper topic sentence, we don’t just orient readers about the paragraph: we also enable them to skim the document effectively. Readers should be able to read just the topic sentences of a document and get a very good idea of what the document is about. If they want more detail about a particular point, they can read the rest of the paragraph. In effect, then, topic sentences function a bit like headings. Headings identify the topic of a report section consisting of multiple paragraphs; topic sentences identify the topics of individual paragraphs within sections (see Figure 3.1).
- 50. FIGURE 3.1 Paragraph topic sentences help readers skim for main ideas and content. Every paragraph is a box of information labelled by the topic sentence. A series of paragraphs on the same topic form a section, labelled by a heading. This makes the organization of a document easy to comprehend and the main ideas easy to find. Make Paragraphs Unified A unified paragraph is one that contains only details relevant to the central idea introduced by the topic sentence. The fourth paragraph in the example on page 38 is about how landscaping can affect thermal gain. Any information about factors other than landscaping that affect thermal gain should be omitted from this paragraph. If it is relevant to the article or report, it should be moved to a different paragraph or developed in an entirely new paragraph. If not relevant, it should be removed from the document. Make Paragraphs Complete A complete paragraph is one that presents all the information readers need in order to understand the idea developed in the paragraph. Whether it turns up in instructions or in reports, one of the most common mistakes in professional writing is to omit information or steps in logic that readers will need to make sense of the document. In these cases, the writer has assumed that readers are as familiar with the situation or as technically versed as the writer. However, by definition, readers read documents to get the information they require but don’t yet have, so the writer almost always knows more than the readers. Remember that you must consider the needs of your audience and that it’s better to provide a little too much information than too little. No one will ever complain that a document (or a paragraph) is too easy to understand.
- 51. • • • Make Paragraphs Cohesive It’s not good enough to put all the right information into grammatically correct sentences and lump them into a paragraph. The paragraph must also provide clear, logical connections between sentences and ideas. Without these connections, readers will have a difficult time understanding complex information, as in the following example. Thermal mass is one of the ways in which passive solar houses use the sun’s energy to maintain a comfortable, constant indoor temperature. By requiring a lot of heat to warm up, thermal mass warms up slowly when ambient temperature is higher, drawing heat from the house, and releases heat energy slowly when the ambient temperature is lower, heating the house. Thermal capacitance, denoted with the symbol Cth, is the name given to the ability of a material to store heat. Concrete, gypsum board, and ceramic tiles are examples of materials with high thermal capacitance. All the sentences in this passage are grammatically correct. The paragraph is unified and complete. However, this is a terrible paragraph because it lacks cohesion. Instead we want to read something like the following: One of the ways in which passive solar houses use the sun’s energy to maintain a comfortable, constant indoor temperature is through thermal mass. Essentially, thermal mass is material (mass) that requires a lot of energy to warm up. It therefore warms up slowly when ambient temperature is higher, drawing heat from the house, and releases heat energy slowly when the ambient temperature is lower, heating the house. This ability to store a lot of heat is called the thermal capacitance, denoted by the symbol Cth. Examples of materials with high thermal capacitance are concrete, gypsum board, and ceramic tiles. This paragraph coheres. As you read it, you can follow the development of ideas easily and everything makes sense the first time through. Writers have three tools for creating cohesive paragraphs: given-new repetition transition words and phrases varied sentence patterns. Given-New Repetition To help readers transition from the information “given” in a previous sentence to the “new” information in the next, it’s often a good idea to repeat information from that previous sentence. This “given-new” rule can take the form of key-word repetition or of a restatement of ideas, which helps to stitch sentences together logically. One of the ways in which passive solar houses use the sun’s energy to maintain a comfortable, constant indoor temperature is through thermal mass. Essentially, thermal mass is material (mass) that requires a lot of energy to warm up. It therefore warms up slowly when ambient temperature is higher, drawing heat from the house, and releases heat energy slowly when the ambient temperature is lower, heating the house. This ability to store a lot of heat is called the thermal capacitance, denoted by the symbol Cth. Examples of materials with high thermal capacitance are concrete, gypsum board, and ceramic tiles. By referring readers back to what they already know before introducing new material, the given-new repetition guides them step by step through the development of a logical argument. It ties new sentences into a framework of information with which readers have already become familiar. Transition Words and Phrases English abounds in transition words and phrases, some of which have been grouped by function below: addition: also, and, besides, furthermore, in addition, moreover, next; first, second, third causation: accordingly, as a result, because, consequently, hence, so, then, therefore, thus clarification: because, for example, for instance, in fact, so, specifically, such as, this means comparison: also, in like manner, likewise, similarly, too
- 52. concession: admittedly, although, granted that, in spite of, naturally, of course, while it is true that conclusion: in brief, in conclusion, in short, in summation, to conclude contradiction: although, anyway, but, conversely, despite, however, in contrast, instead, nevertheless, on the other hand, rather, yet emphasis: above all, chiefly, furthermore, indeed, in particular, most important(ly) illustration: for example, for instance, in other words, such as, to illustrate place: behind, beyond, elsewhere, everywhere, here, in the background, on the other side, opposite, straight ahead, there, to the right time: afterward, as, at the same time, before, concurrently, during, gradually, in the afternoon, later, meanwhile, now, soon, until, while Let’s take a look at the transitional words in the revised paragraph: One of the ways in which passive solar houses use the sun’s energy to maintain a comfortable, constant indoor temperature is through thermal mass. Essentially, thermal mass is material (mass) that requires a lot of energy to warm up. It therefore warms up slowly when ambient temperature is higher, drawing heat from the house, and releases heat energy slowly when the ambient temperature is lower, heating the house. This ability to store a lot of heat is called the thermal capacitance, denoted by the symbol Cth. Examples of materials with high thermal capacitance are concrete, gypsum board, and ceramic tiles. In the following paragraph, the transition words establish a sequence in time and clarify why an engineer with certain experience can move between fields. Dave is a mechanical engineer who for many years designed heavy lifting equipment such as harbour cranes. Gradually, he came to do less and less engineering and more and more project management. Eventually, his company was bought out and he was downsized. There was no work in his field, but because he had good project management skills, he was able to find work supervising the development of a processing facility at a mine. One more example should suffice. Below are the topic sentences we saw at the beginning of the chapter. Note how the transitional devices—both transition words and the given-new repetition—indicate how the content of each paragraph relates to the material that has come before: To optimize a building for passive solar thermal control, the first consideration is the building’s orientation on the site and its design. Aside from orientation and layout, thermal mass also plays a vital role in managing and stabilizing temperature in a passive solar house. However, much of the effort to capture and regulate thermal energy can be undone by furnishings. Another consideration is the landscaping surrounding the structure. This is how transitional devices stitch together sentences and ideas; they continually establish how new material relates to what has come before, creating a logical framework into which to fit each new sentence. A word of caution, however: it is easy to overuse transitional words and phrases. When using them in combination with other devices to create cohesion, a transitional word or phrase every two or three sentences generally suffices, as in the paragraph on thermal mass. Any more risks creating a repetitive, wooden cadence. The reason it works in the topic sentences above is that these sentences are excerpts normally separated by whole paragraphs. Varied Sentence Patterns Simple sentences contain only one independent clause and when strung together sound choppy and lack cohesion. However, multiple simple sentences—and their ideas—can be combined into more complex sentences that flow better and establish the relationship between ideas more clearly.
- 53. Simple sentences: We are experiencing an early spring. Rain is combining with melting snow. Extensive flooding is likely. Coordination: When you coordinate sentences, place a comma before the coordinating conjunction: and, or, for, so, yet, but, nor. We are experiencing an early spring, so rain is combining with melting snow. Extensive flooding is likely. We are experiencing an early spring, so rain is combining with melting snow, making extensive flooding likely. (coordination and embedding) Subordination: Because the early spring is combining rains with melting snow, extensive flooding is likely. Embedding: Combining rain with melting snow, the early spring makes extensive flooding likely. The Grammar and Usage Handbook at the end of the book has additional information on sentence types, punctuation, and common errors. Editing Technical Paragraphs When editing your paragraphs, check for the following: Does each paragraph contain a topic sentence, ideally at the start? Does each paragraph develop its topic fully and exclusively; that is, is each paragraph complete and unified? Does every paragraph cohere; that is, have you used sufficient transitional words and phrases to clarify how the ideas in the individual sentences relate to one another? Have you used a good mix of key-word repetition, the new-given rule, and sentence coordination, subordination, and embedding? Have you provided logical transitions between paragraphs to signal how the argument is structured and where sections start and end? Exercises: Editing Technical Paragraphs and Reports Exercise 3.1: Examining Paragraph Structure Find a technical article in a journal or online or use one provided by your instructor. In a pinch, you can look at sections of this textbook or sample documents within the textbook. Individually, in pairs, or in groups, scan the first lines of the paragraphs and see if you can get a feel for the content and organization of the article. Select a few paragraphs, find the topic sentences (generally but not always the first sentence), and see how the paragraphs develop the material introduced in their respective topic sentences. Look for the transition between paragraphs that indicates that a longer argument or description is being made. Underline the topic sentences, circle the transitional devices, and draw arrows from the transitional devices to the referenced paragraph or sentence. When done, you’ll have a diagram illustrating the logical connections between the ideas in the article.
- 54. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Exercise 3.2: Applying the Given-New Rule to Construction and Green-Roof Sentences Improve the cohesion between each sentence pair by using the given-new rule. This exercise is probably a good warm-up for Exercise 3.4, in which you will improve the cohesion of entire paragraphs. Your instructor has access to the answer key and to additional sentence-pair exercises online. One panel of the exterior concrete at the southwest corner of level 01/02 lacks eyebrow protection. This section of the wall will be subject to increased runoff, causing the silicone elastomeric coating to stain heavily, without the eyebrow ledge. We recommend that Johnson Engineering provide project specific shop drawings that specify the parts installation sequence at the interfaces and penetrations. Fastener type, corrosion resistance and spacing for attachment of the base plate should also be indicated in the drawings. The remainder of this section of the LRT between the retained fill structures will be an elevated guideway set on piers. To direct runoff to curb walls along the edges of the deck, it is likely that the deck of the guideway will be cross sloped. The city of Toronto is the first in North America to have a by-law requiring green roofs. New residential, commercial, and institutional developments with a gross area of more than 2,000 m2 are covered by this by-law. Green roofs are multi-layered and have a top layer of soil and plants. “Extensive” is the term for roofs that have a thin layer of soil planted with grasses and ground cover plants, while intensive roofs have deeper soil planted with larger plants, bushes, and even trees. Green roofs are becoming increasingly popular across the country. Energy efficiency, greater durability, and functionality are some of the reasons for this popularity. The layer of soil and living plants provides excellent insulation and protects green roofs from damaging ultraviolet rays. That green roofs can be turned into garden space for staff or residents or even into kitchen gardens or urban farms is another potential benefit. In fact, some supermarkets now have urban farms on their rooftops, with rows of green houses. Zero food miles and ultra-freshness are two obvious advantages of such an arrangement. Vancouver does not yet have a green-roof by-law, but it does have a number of green roofs on both public and private buildings. In fact, at 2.5 hectares, the green roof covering the Vancouver Convention Centre is the largest in Canada. The roof is covered in coastal grasses and plants that are well suited to the environment and provide habitat for insects and birds. Over 45 kilograms of wildflower honey were harvested from the roof last year, even though it was primarily intended as a thermally efficient building feature and wildlife refuge in the heart of the city, not as a producing garden. Exercise 3.3: Applying the Given-New Rule to Fish and Wildlife Lore As in Exercise 3.2, improve the cohesion between each sentence pair by using the given-new rule. Your instructor has access to the answer key and to additional sentence-pair exercises online. Brook trout generally do best at water temperatures between roughly 10 °C and 20 °C. Trout reproduction, susceptibility to parasites, vulnerability to predation, feeding patterns, and many other factors affecting the survival of trout can all be negatively affected by temperatures outside this narrow range. Temperatures outside the most suitable range cause trout stress and they will move to and hang out in more suitable areas. “Behavioural thermoregulation” is the term for migration in order to find waters with an ideal temperature. Stream temperatures are affected by many factors, but primarily sunlight, the riparian flora, and the stream cross- section. The rate of flow and the depth of a stream, for instance, are determined by its cross-section. A wider, shallower stream will be slow moving and sunshine will penetrate and warm the water to a greater extent than in a narrower, deeper, faster-moving stream. Riparian flora, such as trees with overhangs, however, can shade even wide, shallow streams to cool them sufficiently. Shade or pools of deeper water can create pockets of cooler temperature where trout will hang out on hot days. Fly fishers cast their flies most successfully by knowing where these pockets are located. Colony collapse disease (CCD) is the name given to the sudden dying out of an entire bee colony. With worrying frequency, throughout the Western world, these die-offs are occurring. In North America, about a third of our food crops are pollinated by bees. Crops of almonds, apples, peaches, broccoli, squashes, berries, melons, and so on would be in jeopardy, so some experts claim, without these pollination services.
- 55. Other documents randomly have different content
- 56. irresistible. I stood to win as a student, if love for distant fields could be kept under control. Otherwise there was no telling what I might become or do. Under these circumstances I began my collegiate career in a denominational college in the western part of Illinois. My mother, of course, hoped for the best; and at the time of her departure it looked as if I had definitely struck the right road at last. I remained for a little over two years at college advancing with conditions to my sophomore year. I paid for my board and lodging by "chore" work in a lawyer's home in the town, so that the expenses my mother had to meet were comparatively light. The studies that seemed to suit me best were history, historical geography and modern languages. Mathematics and Greek and Latin were tiresome subjects in which I made barely average progress. Mathematics were a snare and a delusion to me throughout my school and college life in America. I mean sometime to pick up my old arithmetic again and see whether maturer years may have given me a clearer insight into the examples and problems that formerly gave me so much trouble. History, Geography and German, interested me from the start, and I usually stood well in these classes. History took hold of me just as biography did, and I used to read long and late such works as Motley's "Dutch Republic," Bancroft's "History of the United States," Prescott's books on Mexico and South America, and an interesting autobiography or biography was often more appealing to me than a novel or story. Indeed, I read very little fiction during the time I was at college, preferring to pore over an old geography and map out routes of travel to be enjoyed when I had made enough money to undertake them as legitimate enterprises, or, perhaps, as a hired explorer, whose services commanded remunerative prices. For a while the ambition to be a lawyer struggled with my traveling intentions, and I seriously considered taking a course in law in my benefactor's library and office when my academic course should be finished; but this resolve never came to anything because my academic studies were never finished. For two years, and more, I had struggled as hard as any of my fellow students to support myself, keep up with my class, and probably harder than most of them to be "on the level," and above all things not to let Die Ferne entice me away from my new home and pleasant surroundings. Many and many a time Die Ferne would whistle one of her seductive signals, and it was all I could do to conquer the desire to go and answer it in person; but my studies, the work at home, and pleasant companions helped me to resist the temptation, and, as I have said, for about two years I attended strictly to
- 57. business, hearing Die Ferne calling, from time to time, but closing my ears to the enticing invitation. My undoing at college had a most innocent beginning, as was the case with so many of my truancies. Often as not the impulse which drove me to the Open Road was, taken by itself, as laudable and worth while as many of those other impulses which inhibited runaway trips. My ambition, for instance, to go to some distant town, make my own way as a bread-winner and student, and eventually become well-to-do and respected, was in essentials a praiseworthy desire; but the trouble was that I insisted that no one should hear from me or know about my progress until I had really "arrived," as it were. I always demanded that the thing be done secretly, and only as secrecy was an assured factor did such a runaway project really appeal to me. What broke up my college career, and eventually impelled me to vamose was a simple trial contest of essayists in the literary society of which I was a member. The winner in the contest stood a fair chance of being chosen by his society to compete with the essayist of the rival society in a general literary contest in the opera house; this was really the event of its kind of the year. I was selected, along with two others, to try my skill as an essayist in the preliminary family bout. Our society was divided into two closely allied cliques, I belonging to the "Wash B" coterie, and the most formidable contestant that I had to meet, being connected with the "Camelites," as we used to call them. These two really hostile camps made the society at election time and on occasions when contestants for the preliminary and opera house contests were to be chosen, literally a wrangling, backbiting and jealous collection of schemers and wire-pullers. The "Wash B" set had all they could do to secure for me the place in the preliminaries, which would doubtless determine the selection for the real contest later on between the two distant societies. But chosen I was, and for six weeks every spare hour that I had was religiously devoted to that wonderful essay. I forget the title of it now, but the matter dealt tritely enough, I make no doubt, with the time-worn subject—"The Western March of Empire." The writing finished, "Wash B" himself took me in hand, and for another month drilled me in delivery, enunciation and gesture. My room-mate, when the drilling was over, said that I was a perfect understudy of "Wash B," who was considered at the time the finest reader our society, and the entire college in fact, contained. This criticism naturally set me up a good deal and I began seriously to entertain thoughts of winning the prize, a small financial consideration. At last the fatal night arrived, and we three contestants marched to our seats
- 58. on the platform. In front of us were the three judges, formidable looking men they seemed at the time, although I knew them all as mild-mannered citizens of the town with whom I had often had a pleasant chat. A neutral— one who was neither a "Wash B" nor a "Camelite"—was the first to stand up and read his essay. As I recall the reading and subject matter of this first effort I remember that I thought that I had it beaten to a standstill if I could only retain all the fine inflections and mild gentle gestures which "Wash B" had been at such pains to drill into me. I was second, and stood up, bowed, and, as friends afterwards told me, so far as delivery was concerned I was "Wash B" from start to finish. The third man, an uncouth fellow, but endowed with a wonderfully modulated voice—he was really an orator—then got up and read almost faultlessly so far as intonation and correct and timely emphasis were concerned, a dull paper on Trade Unionism. This student was the one I particularly feared, but when he was through and the three of us took our places in the audience so many "Wash B's" told me that I had won hands down, as they put it, that I gradually came to believe that I had acquitted myself remarkably well. The judges, however, were the men to give the real decision, and they thought so little of my effort that I was placed last on the list—even the neutral with practically no delivery had beaten me. Later he came to me and said that he never expected to take second place. The uncouth "Camelite" with the banal paper, but wonderful voice, carried the day, and was declared winner of the prize. My chagrin and disappointment seemed tremendous for the moment, and the fact that a number of "Camelites" came to me and said that I ought to have been given the prize did not tend to lessen the poignancy of the grief I felt, but managed to conceal until I was well within the four walls of my room. There I vowed that never, never again would I submit an essay of mine to the whims of three men, who, in my judgment, were such numbskulls that they let themselves be carried away by a mere voice. "They never stopped to consider the subject matter of our essays at all," I stormed, and for days I was a very moody young man about the house. The "Wash B's" tried to console me by promising to elect me essayist for the grand contest in the opera house in the autumn, but although I deigned reconciliation with my defeat, the truth was that I was brooding very seriously over this momentous failure as it seemed to me. I shunned my former boon companions, and was seen very little on the campus. The defeat had eaten into my soul much more deeply than even I at first imagined possible, and as the days went by, a deep laid plot for a runaway trip began to take form and substance. As soon as I realized what was going on I struggled hard to drive the plan out of my head, but while I had been mourning over my failure as an essayist
- 59. and particularly as a "Wash B" essayist, the subtle, sneaking scheme had wormed its way into my very sub-consciousness, and before I knew it I was entertaining the tempter in no inhospitable manner. After all, it was a consolation to know that at a pinch I could throw over the whole college curriculum, if necessary, and quietly vamose and, perhaps, begin again in some other institution where my crude, but by me highly prized, literary productions would receive fairer treatment. I had a feeling that a runaway trip would be the end of my college career, and there were influences that struggled hard to hold me back; I have often wondered what my later life would have been had they prevailed. Never before had I been so near a complete victory over Die Ferne, and never before had I felt myself the responsible citizen in the community that my college life and self-supporting abilities helped to make me. Then, too, my good friend and counselor, the lawyer, was a man who had made a very great impression on me—an achievement by no means easy in those days of rebellion and willful independence. I knew about the hard fight that he had made in life before I went to his home. He had often visited in our home, and I had been much impressed with his set, cleancut countenance. Some would have called it hard unless they knew the man and what he had been through. I studied it with particular interest, because I knew that every now and then I also struggled hard to do right, and I wondered whether my face after complete mastery of myself, if this should ever come to pass, would some day take on the terrible look of determination and victory which was so often present in that of the lawyer. All of his victories I cannot report upon, because there must have been many, very many, of a minor character, that he had to work for every day of his life. But the one that took him out of the gutter, and gave him strength to quit, at one and the same time, over-indulgence in liquor and the tobacco habit, was the one that took hold of me, although I hardly knew what whisky tasted like myself and was only intermittently a user of tobacco. The fact that the man had overcome these habits by sheer will-power, "without getting religion," as had often been told me, was what took hold of my sense of wonder. Both in my home, and in the lawyer's, so far as his good wife was concerned, I had been taught to believe, or, at any rate, had come partially to believe, that all such moral victories, indeed, that all conquests over one's rebellious self, had to come through prayer and Divine assistance, or not at all. I had never wholly accepted this doctrine, although it probably had a stronger hold on me than I knew. But the lawyer—ah, ha! here was at last a living, breathing witness to the fact that prayer and Divine help were not
- 60. indispensable in gathering oneself together, putting evil habits aside, and amounting to something in the world. I did not say anything about the discovery I had made; but I studied my hero closely, and treasured highly all facts and fancies which rather intimate contact with him called forth, and which substantiated the original and primal fact—i.e., that will-power and not "conversion" had made him one of the noted citizens of his community and one of the prominent lawyers of his State. I do not know whether he knew in what great respect I held him or not. This much is certain, however; he almost never looked at or spoke to me severely, and he was constantly doing something kind or useful. I wish now that I had been old enough to have had a square talk with him about will-power and Divine help. He was not a very communicative man, and it is possible that he would not have consented to enter into such an interview, thinking perhaps that I was too young to discuss such matters from his point of view. So I lived on, looking up invariably to him as an example when it was necessary to grit my teeth and overcome some slight temptation. His wife, who was really a second mother to me, saw to it that I attended church and studied my Bible—the college authorities demanded attendance at church, and on Mondays called the roll of all those who had or had not been present at church the day before—but somehow she never had the influence over me that her white-haired, clean-shaven stalwart husband did. It was her constant prayer and hope that "Gill," as she called him, would eventually get religion and be assured of heavenly peace. He frequently attended church with her, and certainly his efforts were as exemplary as the college president's, but I have heard it said that, if he believed in any theology at all, it was in that miserable, foolish doctrine—silly creation of weak minds—that a certain number of souls are predestined to damnation anyhow, and that his was one of them on account of the wild life he had led in his younger manhood. This "story" about my hero also took hold of me very perceptibly, and I often used to look at the man's fine face surreptitiously, and wonder what could be going on in a mind that had become resigned to eternal punishment. I could not follow him this far in his philosophy, but I have long since come to the conclusion that the man was too sensible to entertain any such theory, and that the "story" was the mere patchwork of a number of wild guesses and injudicious surmises on the part of relatives, and his lovable, but not always careful, wife. One day, a relative of mine, known as "The Deacon," came to the town at my hostess's request, and held some revival meetings, or, perhaps, they were called consecration meetings. "The Deacon," although an ardent Methodist, I
- 61. believe, and a determined striver for the salvation of men's souls, was not one of the conventional boisterous revivalists whom we all have seen and heard. He was quiet and retiring in his manner, and seemed to rely on the sweet reasonableness of the Bible and his interpretation of it to convince men of the need of salvation, rather than on loud exhortation and still louder singing. He was very deaf, and when I called him for breakfast, mornings, I had to go into his room and shake him, when he would put his trumpet to his ear and ask "what was up." I would tell him that it was time for him to be up, and he would thank me in that strange metallic voice which so many deaf people have, or acquire. He spent much of his time talking with his hostess, and, one morning, rather injudiciously, I think, he told her of a friend of his, "just your own husband's size, weight and years," who had suddenly dropped dead in Chicago. This incident took hold of the good woman in an unfortunate way, and when I saw her, she had been crying, and was bewailing the fact that her "Gill" might also drop off suddenly before getting religion. There was nothing that I could say beyond the fact that he seemed to me good enough to drop off at any time; but with this his wife was not to be consoled. "Gill must give himself up to God," she persisted, and I retreated, feeling rather guilty on these lines myself, as I was not at all sure that I had given myself up to God, or would ever be able to. He was such a myth to me, that I found it far more practicable to study the character and ways of the lawyer whom I knew as a visible, tangible living being. It may be that my adoration for my benefactor—I really think it amounted to that—was not the best influence that might have been exercised over my mind; it has been suggested to me in later years, for instance, that it was probably at this time that I laid the foundation for that firm belief in will- power, which, for better or for worse, has been about all that I have believed in seriously as a moral dynamic for a number of years. Be this as it may, for years after leaving college and the lawyer's home, my recollection of him, of his brave fight to do right, and of the friendly interest he took in me, contributed more than once to help tide me over a spell when Die Ferne was doing her utmost to persuade me to throw over everything and chase foolishly after her. Now, that the good man is gone, I regret more than ever that I allowed that miserable essay contest to stampede me as it did. The first departure from college and the lawyer's home was a failure. I halted foolishly an entire day at a town not far from the college, and the lawyer, suspecting that I might do this, sent on two of my college friends—older than I was—to scout about and
- 62. try and locate me. They succeeded in their mission—one of them was the noted "Wash B," who had tried so hard to teach me how to read an essay. They did their utmost to persuade me to return, but I was obdurate, and they went back without me. In an hour or two the lawyer himself appeared on the scene, and then I had to go back and knew it. He said very little to me, beyond asking me to give to him such funds as I possessed. In the afternoon he called on a brother lawyer who, as I could judge from the conversation, was in some serious legal difficulty. When we were in the street again my captor said: "Josiah, there is a man who is going to the penitentiary." He spoke very slowly and impressively, but did not offer to tell me why the man was going to be shut up or when, and I was sensible enough not to ask. Returned to our home the lawyer made no reference to my unconventional leave-taking, and apparently considered the matter closed. It was decided, for the sake of my feelings, that I should not return immediately to college, and I hugged my room as much as possible, anxious to keep out of sight of my classmates, who, I felt sure, knew all about my escapade. There I brooded again over my poor success as an essayist, my lack of will-power to bear up under defeat, and I also tried to plan out another escape from what seemed to me a terrible disgrace. One afternoon, when I was particularly gloomy, the fat, cheerful president of the college knocked at my door. He had come to have a heart-to-heart talk with me, I learned, and I was soon on the defensive. He laughed at my bashfulness about going back into college, pooh-poohed my assertion that I was "no good anyhow and might better be let go," and in general did his utmost to cheer me up and make the "slipping back" into my classes, as he put it, as simple and easy as could be. But, good man, he labored with me in vain. The next day, some funds coming to hand, I was off again, for good and all. The well-meaning president has long since gone to his final rest. The following morning I was in Chicago, and very soon after in my grandmother's home. Die Ferne was only indirectly to blame for this trip because I made for the only home I had as soon as I decamped from college, refusing to be lured away into by-paths. Die Ferne was only in so far to blame that she originally suggested the desertion of my studies, offering no suggestions that I paid any attention to, about an objective. I— poor, weak mortal—was terribly to blame in throwing away, after two years' straight living, the chance that was offered me to complete my college course, and later to go and become a lawyer. And yet—balancing what was considered a golden opportunity at the time, against the hard school of experience it has since been my lot to go through, and what the teaching
- 63. that I have had means to me now, I confess to a leaning in favor of the hard knocks and trials and tribulations of the road as the more thorough curriculum for me at the time of life they were endured, than would have been the college course and a lawyer's shingle. It is difficult, of course, to decide in such matters, but somehow I think that the world means more to me in every way to-day, in spite of what I have pulled out of, than it ever could have meant on set academic and professional lines. The stay in the home village was not a prolonged one, long enough, however, to ponder over the change in my life which I had so domineeringly brought about—to go back to college was out of the question, and the lawyer did not want me back. My capriciousness had exhausted his patience, and he frankly said that he washed his hands of the "case." To remain in the home village was also out of the question, according to my aunt. It was there that I had first shown my dare-devil proclivities, and in her opinion it was best to get me as far away from former village associations as possible. Besides, it was not thought wise to have me in the care of my aging grandmother, who could only incidentally keep track of me. I wondered myself what was best to do, not caring for another runaway trip right away, and temporarily regretting very much that I had been so silly over that picayune essay. There was nothing I could think of that seemed feasible, and it was just as well that I did not lose my head over some personally cherished plan, because my resourceful aunt had already found an asylum for me. It was a farm in western Pennsylvania, owned by some distant relatives. Here I was to help care for crops and stock, and see what living in the open would do for my over-imaginative head. I was to receive my board and twenty-five dollars for the season's work, a huge sum it seemed to me when first mentioned, for I never before had possessed such wealth in actual cash. I went to work with zeal, and determination to learn all I could about farming. For a number of weeks all went well, in fact, until I made an excursion with an older friend and his fiancée, and a girl, who was the first, I believe, that I thought I really liked. I never told her name to my family, beyond calling her "Jeminy Jowles," which was as much a real name as mine was. For some reason, for years after this temporary attachment, which on my part, at least, was genuine and spontaneous, I never wanted my family to know that I was interested in any particular young lady, and as I told above, I feigned indifference to nearly all girls rather than be thought "teched" with admiration for any one or two. After our return from our outing, "Jeminy" returned to the lake to help take care of one of the villas there, as a number of girls did at that time, and are doing now, I have no
- 64. doubt. "Jeminy's" departure made the village very dull for me, and the farm absolutely distasteful. So, one day, I asked my cousin to give me what he thought was my due, out of the promised twenty-five dollars. I told him that I was going to New York State to see if I could earn more money. He knew about "Jeminy" being there, and as he thought that something profitable might develop out of our friendship, I was given my money and then hied away to the New York resorts, and "Jeminy." The latter had to work so hard all day and well on into the evening that I saw very little of her, but I remember dreaming and thinking about her, when I had to wander about alone. I spent very little time in looking for a job on account of my moving, and before long I determined to look elsewhere for work. What was my chagrin, when returning on the day that the faithless "Jeminy" was about to depart for her home, to see her coming down the wharf from the boat with a former admirer, clothed in fine raiment, whom I had ousted in "Jeminy's" affections in the little farming village in Pennsylvania. I surmised him to be possessed of a fat bank-roll, judging by his independence and "only board in this sidewalk" manner of appropriating "Jeminy" for his very own, and of his giving me a very distant and critical look, which my somewhat worn clothes no doubt deserved. That was the end of my first and last real love affair. Jilted, funds very low, and no employment in sight—here was a situation worthy of any boy's best mettle. Perhaps the jilting hurt worse for the time being, but the necessity of replenishing my funds helped me to forget it somewhat. By rights I should have returned to Pennsylvania and gone to work again on my relative's farm. But there I should have seen the faithless "Jeminy," perhaps her old admirer as well, and I was in no mood for such encounters. No! I was not going to allow the village to make fun of me, even if I starved elsewhere. Besides, what chance would my old clothes have in a competitive contest with those of my rival? Obviously a very slim one. Fate was temporarily against me in that direction, I was sure, and I cast my eyes toward the north—probably because "Jeminy" and the farm meant south. The west did not attract me just then, and the east—New York constituted the greater part of the east to me in those days—seemed too complicated and full of people. One night I "hopped" a freight train bound for Buffalo, and secluded myself among some Standard Oil Company's barrels in a box-car. In a wreck I should probably have come to grief in the midst of all that oil, but no wreck had been scheduled for that ride. My possessions consisted of what I had on my back and a few nickels in my pocket. In this fashion I hoped to impress the mighty north. That old dream about disappearing from the view of
- 65. friends, making my way alone in the world, and then returning independent, successful and well-to-do, buoyed me up, even when "Jeminy's" desertion of me was most tantalizing. I finally fell asleep on top of the mighty Trust's property, to dream of honest efforts to succeed, if not of wonderful triumphs. At heart I desired that the realization of my dream of future prosperity and fame should come through honorable toil and struggle. Indeed, during this period of youth, and even earlier, I cannot recall any disappearance or runaway trip on my part which did not presuppose a "square deal" in my account with the world; theoretically, at any rate, honesty was as dear an asset to me as to the boys who staid at home and were regular. That sitting on the mighty Trust's barrels and "hooking" a ride in a car which had been chartered and paid for by others was not a "square deal" did not occur to me. And to deliver myself of a confession on this score once and for all, I can say that I have never had any serious pricks of conscience on this account. There is no defense to offer for such obtuseness, any more than there was for my using half-fare tickets, when I had the wherewithal to buy them, until I was over seventeen. I merely report the fact as symptomatic of all passengers, good, bad and indifferent, who "beat" their way on our railroads. I have read of a "freak" who notified a railroad company that he had stolen a certain number of rides on its trains, estimating the probable cost of tickets for the computed mileage, and enclosing a post-office order for a small amount of the entire sum, as his preliminary payment in making good. Perhaps this man actually existed, but it is more likely than not that he was either a reporter's invention or, if real, that he merely tantalized the railroad company with a statement of his indebtedness, omitting to enclose the post-office order. No "hang-out" gathering of hoboes would ever believe such a yarn—not even about a "gay- cat." My freight train stopped very early in the morning in the railroad yards at East Buffalo, and there I got out. Stumbling over tracks and dodging switch engines, I made my way to what turned out to be the yardmaster's headquarters; his office was upstairs in the dingy wooden building, while below was a warm room where switchmen could rest. It was a cold September morning, the sun not yet up, and that warm room looked very inviting. I finally screwed up enough courage to enter, and I found myself all alone. Switchmen came in later, but they barely noticed me until I excused my bold entrance, and frankly confessed that I was looking for work. My clothes—they were not good enough to court "Jeminy" in, but never mind! They saved the day or the situation in that shanty. It was plain to the
- 66. switchmen that I was not a tramp, and my subdued manners evidently made a good impression also. Later the night yardmaster, a jovial German, came in and learned of my plight. He looked me over carefully, quizzed me rather minutely about my last job and my travels, and finally told me to make myself comfortable near the fire until quitting time, when he promised to have another talk with me. That second talk was the beginning of a series of mishaps, which, could the good yardmaster have foreseen them, would certainly have made him hesitate before securing for me the position which his influence enabled him to do. The mishaps will be described later on, but I must refer to them here on account of that second interview with the German. Whatever else we may or may not wonder about in life, it has always seemed to me interesting to speculate about what might have happened to us of a momentous nature had certain very trivial and insignificant circumstances in earlier life only been different. How many men and women, for instance, on looking back over their lives, discover just such slight events in their early careers, and realize, long years after, how important these events were, after all. Only the other day I made the acquaintance of a man, now a resident of Hawaii, who explains his present success and permanent home there by a much-advertised eruption of a local volcano. He was a poorly paid telegraph operator in Oregon at the time of the eruption, which occurred just as he was thinking about what to do with his vacation. He finally decided to see the volcano, even if it cost him all his savings, and off to Hawaii he sailed—and there he stayed. Opportunity after opportunity came to him, and he had succeeded. Why? The man says, "On account of that derned old spouter." Qui lo sa? What would have happened later if that yardmaster had not looked me up again and put me through another series of questions I, of course, cannot say. But it is easily possible that something very different from what I have to report upon in Part Second might have happened. The immediate result of that second interview with the yardmaster was that he promised me a position as "yard car reporter," and took me into his own home at the very cheap rate of $15.00 a month for board and lodging, there remaining for me to save or spend, as I saw fit, $20.00 out of the $35.00 which was my monthly stipend—a princely sum I thought, at the time, not exceeded in its wonderful effect as a salary, until years after, when $300.00 a week, for two months or so, once again gave me more or less the same inflated sense of joy which the $35.00 a month had formerly also been able to achieve. The car reporting proved more difficult for me than the yardmaster had anticipated. First of all I had to learn the names and location of all the
- 67. different tracks in the yards at East Buffalo. I studied them mainly at night, because this was when I was on duty. It ought to be stated immediately that I never mastered their geography or nomenclature satisfactorily, and that my reports about the numbers and ownership of the cars were very faulty. As I recall these reports to-day I fear that officially I sent many a car out of the yards that remained at home, and that I unintentionally reported as safe in port an equal number of cars that, for aught I know, may to this day be wandering about aimlessly over the prairies. However, I was not to hold this position long, so no great damage was done, I hope. Writing about my early years and bidding good-bye to them here in print has been a harder task than I expected. Bidding good-bye to them formally and physically years ago was not difficult. To reach twenty-one, then thirty, then —I always looked on thirty as a satisfying goal, the years seemed to come and go so slowly. Then, too, I realized, after a fashion, that my youth was considered pretty much of a fiasco, and I wanted to get just as far away from failure and disaster as possible. Now—well, perhaps it is better that I keep my thoughts to myself. I will say, however, that retrospection can bring with it some of the most mournful hours the mind has to wallow in.
- 68. CHAPTER V MY FIRST IMPRISONMENT A friend, on receiving word that this book was being written, and that it was intended as a wind-up, for the time being at least, of my Under World reportings, wrote to me as follows: "Whatever else you do or don't do, don't forget to get some romance into the story. I mean that you should try to get some poetry—oh, yes, I mean poetry —into your account of yourself. Merely a string of dates and facts will not go." Perhaps the reader may be able to find some scattered bits of intended "poetry" in this Second Part, but on looking it over myself the "bits," if they exist at all, are so widely scattered that I cannot locate them. Yet I had to write this section of the book to make it coherent and connected, "poetry" or no "poetry." My car reporting in East Buffalo lasted just a week. Then my benefactor, the night yardmaster, and I went to Buffalo proper one day. The yardmaster soon found other friends and, telling me to amuse myself, left me to my own devices. Perhaps, if we had remained together this second part of my book would tell a very different story than it does, perhaps— But something in me says: "What is the use of 'perhapsing' at this late hour? Go ahead and blurt out the truth." I am not sure that there is much use in "perhapsing," but somehow it seems impossible for me to throw off the habit. At times it is so strong that I have caught myself going back to my lodging three times to make certain that no coals had fallen out of the grate—when there was no more probability of such a thing happening on the third inspection than on the first. "And yet," I have reasoned, "perhaps a live coal might have fallen out and burned up the whole place had I not taken a last look and made sure." So it is in looking back to that day alone in Buffalo—the inevitable perhaps comes to my mind, and I wonder what would have happened if I had simply staid with the yardmaster, which I was very welcome to do had I been so minded.
- 69. What I did during the morning and early afternoon I do not recall now; probably I merely wandered about the streets and took in such sights as attracted me. Of this much, however, I feel certain: there was no great Wanderlust in my intentions. My work on the railroad interested me not a little, and I had already begun to calculate the amount of savings I should have at the end of the year. As the day wore on I remember measuring how much time I should need to get back to supper and work, and up to the middle of the afternoon it was my firm determination to report for work early. Then—ah yes, then! I saw a horse and buggy standing idle in one of the main thoroughfares. What it was that prompted me to get into the buggy and drive blindly onward I cannot say, even now. As I have remarked, my job was satisfactory, I was my own "boss" in the daytime, the horse and buggy no more represented personal wealth to me at the time than did one of the stores, and there was no reasonable excuse for a wandering trip. But something, strict church people might say the devil, prompted me to throw over the job, run the risk of being sent to prison as a horse thief, and to ride away with buggy and horse for parts unknown. There is no wish on my part to palliate this crime in the least; I merely want to know why I committed it. At the moment of driving away it no more occurred to me to turn the outfit into gold than it did to turn back. On I went for a good hour, regardless of direction and the police. Then the seriousness of my offense gradually began to dawn on me. What should I do? At first I contemplated leaving the horse with some farmer, thinking that its owner would eventually locate it. But I threw over this plan. It was too late to report for work, and the growing darkness brought on a mild attack of Wanderlust. "Why not proceed as far as possible under the cover of night," I reasoned, "and then leave the rig somewhere in good hands?" I had at last found a road going in the direction I desired at that time to follow, if the car-reporting job was to be given up, and my mind was pretty definitely settled on that score, although a week's wages were due me. Midnight found me on still another road, and going in a new direction, my mind having changed during the ride. I put the horse into a barn, fed him, and then we both fell asleep. Early morning found us en route again, and no police in sight. By this time the desire to elude capture was very strong, and the wonder is that I succeeded with detectives by the half dozen beating the bushes in various directions. The third day out I reached my destination in Pennsylvania, the home of an acquaintance who dealt in horses and knew me well. My possession of such a valuable horse and fashionable phæton carriage was satisfactorily explained; they were bought at auction, I boldly
- 70. declared, and represented the result of my savings during the summer. To make a miserable story short, I will merely say that the horse and buggy were turned over to my friend for a money consideration, quite satisfactory to me, but far below what the outfit was worth. It might still be where I parted with it, so far as the astute "detectives" were concerned. It was voluntarily returned to the owner before long. Several weeks later another horse and buggy in my custody arrived at my friend's house, and again the flimsy tale of a "bargain" and inability to resist it was told. It was the silliest "bargain" I ever went in for. Having attended a fair in a neighboring town, not over ten miles away, and having lost my train home, I boldly appropriated a "rig" and drove home in the most unconcerned fashion possible. My credulous friend complimented me on my luck in buying horses, and would no doubt have bought this second outfit from me had something not happened. About midnight an ominous knock was heard on my friend's outer door. As I felt must be the case, it heralded the arrival of the constables—the horse had been seen and located! There was a bare chance of escape, but as I look back on the situation now the probability is that I should not have got far away before being captured. Some of the villagers, who had also been aroused, were much incensed at my arrest and forced departure, declaring that "no boy in his senses would intentionally steal a horse so near home. There must be some mistake. Probably the boy had mistaken the rig for one that he had been told to get, etc., etc." But their arguments availed nothing, and I was taken away. The committing magistrate made quick work with my story in the lockup, and soon I was lodged in the county jail—my second imprisonment in about eighteen years. (I looked, perhaps, fifteen.) Die Ferne, everything in fact that I had ever really cared for, seemed irretrievably lost. Yet no tears came to my eyes, and I walked into the miserable "hall" of the jail, said "Hello!" to the other prisoners, as if such a place and companions were what I had always been accustomed to. This ability, if I may call it such, to get along with almost everybody, and for a reasonable amount of time to put up with practically any kind of accommodations has been of great service to me. I notice, however, that in later years "home comforts" are becoming more and more a necessity. My constitution seems to demand a quid pro quo—and wants fair treatment after patiently enduring so many hard knocks. This first real imprisonment and the jail deserve a minute description.
- 71. A number of years ago I contributed to The Forum an article, entitled "The Criminal in the Open." The main thesis supported in this paper was that criminologists had previously been studying the criminal within too narrow bounds—the prison cell; and that to know their man well they must make his acquaintance when free and natural. In general, I still hold to this belief; but on looking back to that first jail experience of mine I am more than ever convinced that as a people, a practical people, too, we are woefully neglecting our duty in continuing the present county jail system with all its accompanying evils; and that it is most distinctly "up to" both criminologist and penalogist to work for radical changes in the present system. My own experience in that old jail to which I was committed, to wait for trial, is typical of what happens to the average prisoner in most of our jails. The jail building was uncommonly old, but the rules applying therein were about the same that one finds in all country jails; in cities the rules are more severe and exacting. Soon after entering the jail corridor, or hall, as I have called it, one prisoner after another—they were free to roam at will in the corridor until bedtime— accosted me and, directly or indirectly, tried to find out what I had been "sent up for." I told them quite freely about the charge against me, and in turn learned on what charges they had been shut up. There did not happen to be any murderers or violent offenders in the jail just then, but when found in jails such inmates circulate quite as freely among the possibly innocent as the older prisoners in my jail associated with the young boys. A few of the prisoners were serving jail sentences for minor offences, but the majority, like myself, were waiting for trial. There were burglars, pickpockets, sneak thieves, swindlers, runaway boys, and half-demented men who were awaiting transportation to suitable institutions. In the daytime, from seven in the morning until eight or nine at night, we were all thrown together, for better or for worse, each one to take his chances, in the corridor on the main floor. Here I passed many a dismal hour during the six weeks I had to wait for sentence. At night we were locked in our cells on the tiers above the corridor, two and three men being lodged in one cell. It is only fair to state, however, that the cells were so unusually large and commodious that even four men could have been comfortably lodged in one cell. We were all supposed to keep quiet after the sheriff had locked us in for the night, but in the daytime we were free to play games, laugh and generally amuse ourselves. We cooked our own food. Once a week an election was held, and a new cook was installed; those who knew nothing about cooking were expected to help wash the dishes and keep the corridor clean. There was no
- 72. work to do beyond these simple duties. It was consequently necessary for us to get exercise in walking, "broomstick calisthenics," as we called our antics with this instrument, and in climbing up and down the stairway. A liberal supply of tobacco was furnished us every morning, and we also got one or two daily newspapers. Our food was simple, but more or less satisfying: Bread, molasses and coffee for breakfast; meat, potatoes and bread at noon; bread, molasses and tea for supper. Those who had money were permitted to send out and buy such luxuries as butter, sugar and milk. All in all, it was probably one of the "easiest" jails, if the prisoner behaved himself, in the whole United States, and I have nothing to criticise in the humanitarian treatment shown us by the sheriff; the jail itself, however, was an eyesore— unsanitary to the last degree, and pathetically insecure had there been expert jail-breakers in our company. It was the total absence of classification of prisoners, and the resulting mixing together of hardened criminals and young boys, to which attention is mainly called here. From morning till night the "old hands" in crime were exchanging stories of their exploits, while the younger prisoners sat about them with open mouths and eyes of wonder, greedily taking in every syllable. I listened just as intently as anybody, and was hugely impressed with what I heard and saw. The seriousness of my offense advanced me somewhat in the scale of the youthful prisoners, and at times I was allowed to join a "private" confab, supposed to be only for the long initiated and thoroughly tried offenders. This privilege, and the general tone of "toughness" which was all over the prison, had its effect on me, I am sorry to say, and I began to bluster and bluff with the rest. Indeed, so determined was I to be the "real thing" or nothing at all—almost entirely the result of association with the older men—that I was at first unwilling that my lawyer should try to secure a reform-school sentence for me. "If I'm to be sentenced at all," I ordered, "let it be to prison proper. I don't want to associate with a lot of kids." Fortunately, my lawyer did not follow my suggestion. Meanwhile, Sentence Day, that momentous time, which all prisoners await with painful uncertainty, was drawing nigh. Trials, of course, were to come first, but practically every court prisoner knew that he had been caught "with the goods on," and that Sentence Day would claim him for her prey. My trial was soon over. My lawyer had "worked" very adroitly, and I received sentence immediately—the reform school until I had improved. I remember feeling very sheepish when I was taken back to the jail; such a sentence was meant for a baby, I thought, and what would the "old hands" think? They
- 73. came to the door in a body when I was brought back, demanding in a chorus: "How much, Kid?" "A year," I romanced, meaning, of course, in the penitentiary, and faking an old-timer's smile and nonchalance. Later they were told the truth, and then began a course of instruction about "beating the Ref," escaping, to which I paid very close attention. A few days later the other trials were finished, and Sentence Day was definitely announced. The men to be sentenced put on their "best" for the occasion, those having a surplus of neckties and shirts kindly sharing them with those who were short of these decorations. A hard fate stared them all in the face, and each wanted, somehow, to help his neighbor. They were as nervous a collection of men while waiting for the sheriff as one will find in a moon's travel. They all expected something, but the extent of this something, the severity which the "old man," the judge, would show them, was what made them fidgety. It was an entirely new scene to me, and I watched intently the countenance of each prisoner. My medicine had been received; I knew exactly what was ahead of me, and did not suffer the feeling of uncertainty troubling the others. Finally the sheriff came. "All ready, boys," he said, and the convicted men were handcuffed together in pairs and marched over to the courthouse. In a half-hour they had returned, a remarkable look of relief in all of their faces. Some of them had been given stiff sentences, but, as one man put it, "Thank God, I know what my task is anyhow"; the terrible suspense and waiting were over. The next day we were to be taken to our different destinations, insane asylum and workhouse for some, the "Ref" and "Pen" for others. Breakfast was our last meal together, and the sheriff's wife sent in little delicacies to make us happier. The meal over, our scanty belongings were packed up, each man and boy put on his best, once more, final good-byes were said to those who remained behind, and the march to our new homes began. Some are possibly still trudging to new places of seclusion at the State's request and demand, others have very likely "squared it" and are now stationary and good citizens, while still others have perhaps "cashed in" here below, and have moved on in spirit to worlds where the days of temptation and punishment are no more. Since the day we left the old, musty jail I have never run across any of my jail companions.
- 74. CHAPTER VI IN A REFORM SCHOOL If some one could only tell us exactly what should, and should not, be done in a reform school a great advance would be achieved in penalogy, which at present is about as much of a science as is sociology. Both—and criminology can be thrown in, too—always reminded me of a cat after a good sousing— they are quite as much in earnest in shaking off what does not agree with them, or what they think does not agree with them, as is the cat in drying itself; but again, like the cat, the shaking often seems to make them look more ragged than ever. The most that I can attempt to do here is to describe the Reform School I learned to know in Pennsylvania, and tell what it accomplished and failed to accomplish in my case. The superintendent was the brother of one of the most astute politicians and officeholders this country has produced. He held his position largely through his brother's influence, and might just as well have been given any other "job," so far as his particular fitness for public office was concerned. In spite of all this, however, he was a fairly kind and just man, and probably did right according to his light and leading. The institution sheltered some three hundred boys and girls, the latter being officially separated from the boys; the "safeties," however, the boys who had the run of the farm, saw not a little of them. The place was arranged on the cottage plan—the boys of a certain size being toed off to a certain cottage. For instance, I was placed with lads much younger and far more inexperienced than I was simply because I was their height. It struck me at the time—and I am even more impressed to-day—that this was a very peculiar way of classifying prisoners, particularly boys. Far more important, it seems to me, is a classification based on age, training, experience, disposition and temperament. But the great State which had taken me in charge practically overlooked all of these matters in locating us boys in the different homes. Who was to blame for this I cannot tell, but one would think that the superintendent would have thought out something better than the system we had to live under. Right here is the trouble in so many penal and
- 75. reformatory institutions—what other superintendents and wardens have found "good enough," their latest successor also finds "good enough"; the wheels and cogs have been kept going on the old basis, and the new-comer is afraid to "monkey" with them during his term of office. Many a prison in this country merits a good overhauling, and while exposure of misuse of public funds is the order of the day, and new blood is being called for in so many quarters, it might not be a bad plan to examine carefully into the management of our penitentiaries, workhouses, reform schools and jails. There was no wall around the school to which I had been committed, a fact which I noted immediately on my arrival. In place of a wall, and as supposed safeguards against escapes, the superintendent had a shrieking whistle for both day and night, and a huge, flaming natural gas-light, more particularly for night, although the miserable thing, as I considered it, burned the entire twenty-four hours. There were five divisions, or cottages, for the boys, including the main building, which could hardly be called a cottage. Unless my memory plays me false, I was in Division G, next to that of the "biggest" boys, yet I was considerably older and certainly more traveled and "schooled" than many of the latter. Theoretically each inmate was to remain in the school until twenty-one, unless relatives or friends took him away after he had earned the requisite number of good-conduct marks. Ten was the maximum daily number, and five thousand were required before good conduct was considered established and a release permissible. The day was about equally divided between study and work, but being outclassed for study in Division G, I was allowed to work all day in the brush factory. Punishment was measured according to the offense, sometimes also according to the number of marks a boy had and the proximity of his release. But in general these rules prevailed: For minor offenses, "standing in line"—a sentence involving loss of the privilege of play and the necessity of toeing a mark with other victims during recesses; for serious offenses, a prescribed number of lashes with a leather strap, a reduction in the boy's marks, and imprisonment in a cell on bread and water. Some boys had long since earned their five thousand marks, and were theoretically—there is so much that is theoretical in State institutions—entitled to their freedom. But no relatives, friends or employers coming forward to vouch for their safe-keeping "outside," they were compelled to stay on until somebody came to their rescue. The word "outside" characterized a great deal of the life in the school. Used originally exclusively in penitentiaries, the boys had appropriated the word for their own use as well, although there was no wall, and the "outside" was
- 76. as plainly visible as the "inside." Under restraint and kept within bounds we certainly were, but it was considered smart and "wise" to use the prison expression. Consequently every boy with any gumption in him was continually thinking about what he would do when free again, when the great "outside" would be open territory once more. We also had an institutional lingo, or slang, patterned as much as possible after the dialect used by "the real thing," the crooks in the "Pen." Guards became "screws," bread and water "wind pudding," detectives "elbows," and so on. When among ourselves, in shop, schoolroom or at play, aping "the real thing," the crooks, and their mannerisms, or what we took to be such— and nearly all the boys had had preliminary jail experiences and had associated with crooks—was a constant amusement for all, and with many a serious study. This posing was one of the worst things taught and learned in the school. Originally intended to be very humanitarian and modern in purpose and organization, to be a disciplinary home rather than a mere place of incarceration—witness the absence of a wall and the cottage system of housing—the boys themselves were defeating these ends with their prison conversations, things they had learned at the taxpayers' expense in various county jails. Speaking generally, the boys were divided into two sets or rings—the "stand- patters" and the "softies." The former were the boys of spirit and adventure, the principal winners in their classes as well as on the playground; the latter were the tale-bearers, the mouthy ones—"lungers" was also a good name for them—who split on the "stand-patters" when "lunging it" promised to gain favors for them. Whatever else I did or did not do while in the school, I fought very shy of all officers who tried to get me to "peach" on my companions. This may not have been a virtue, but it secured good standing for me among the boys of spirit and enterprise, and I think that any boy wanting agreeable companionship in such a place would naturally turn to the "stand-patters." Of course, my selection of cronies was watched by the officers and made a mental note of to be used later on, either for or against my record, as it suited the purposes of the observing overseer, as were many other things that I did or failed to do. In general the officers were fair- minded and reasonable, but thinking them over now, with the exception of one or two, they were not particularly adapted for reform-school work; they were mainly men who had drifted into the life accidentally, and had clung to it for want of something better to do. They were judged by the boys according to their varying abilities in wielding the strap. Some were strong and heavy, and were called "sockdologers"; others, not so effective
- 77. physically, were dubbed "lightweights." At night we slept in dormitories, leaving all our clothes except our shirts in the basement, an arrangement which made night escapes difficult. In the main the dormitory life was clean and correct, indeed very much cleaner than cell life in many of our prisons and jails. The daily programme, as I recall it now, began at five-thirty in the morning in summer and at six in the winter. The great whistle started the day, and we all had to jump out of our beds, make them, and then in single file march to the basement, where we washed and dressed. Soon after came the molasses-and-tea breakfast, after which we had a half-hour or so on the playground. Recreation over, we were toed off into two squads, one for the schoolroom and the other for the factory. There were also "detail" boys, inmates of long standing who could be trusted as messengers, in the bakery, plumbing shop, and at different occupations in the cottages and on the farm. I made a bold and early bid for a "detail" job, but with no success. The superintendent told me that only those boys of whom he was sure received such positions, and I retired with the knowledge that he was not sure of me, and the determination to make him keep on guessing about me indefinitely. At noon sharp, came dinner, followed by another half-hour of recreation, when school and factory started again. Six o'clock saw us all at supper, and nine in bed, the intervening time being spent in the playground and in the schoolroom. One day there was a revolution in the factory. One of the older boys had thrown a wrench at a brow-beating guard, and had been well beaten for his disobedience—beaten and hit with the man's fist, the boy claimed. At recess there was a hurried consultation among the "stand-patters." "Let's hike it to the Super's office and complain," some one suggested, and before we had half seriously considered what we were doing, away we scampered to the superintendent's office in the main building, the officer to be complained about following leisurely after us. It was as clear a case of mob insanity as I have ever seen; the battered and bloody face of our companion so incensed us that rules and regulations were thrown to the winds. Indeed, if all of us had kept on going, so fleet were our feet, probably half could have gotten away for keeps then and there. But escape was not in our minds. We wanted, and were going to demand, if possible, the dismissal of the overbearing guard. At first, as is the case with nearly all mobs, the various boys wanted to talk at once, and the superintendent had considerable difficulty in getting our side of the story. We were then ordered to the schoolroom of our division, the superintendent desiring to interview the guard alone. The upshot of the affair was that the guard resigned and
- 78. each boy received fifteen lashes with the strap. The superintendent personally attended the thrashing. Our first officer, a mild-mannered, much bewhiskered man, who had always treated me very considerately, was the first to wield the strap. We boys sat in our seats with folded arms, awaiting our turns. Finally mine came. The officer looked at me disappointedly; he did not seem to want to punish me. He had to obey orders, however, just as we boys did, and I received my fifteen lashes. During each "whaling" the other victims looked on intently, like children about to sit down at a Thanksgiving dinner; they wanted to see if the "whaled" one would "squeal." Excepting a more or less half-witted lad, who had run with the rest of us for no other reason than that he "saw us going and thought we were playing follow the leader," none of us whimpered. The first officer gave out completely after ten boys had been punished, and a substitute—the school carpenter—took his place. I remember how glad I was that my turn came under the first officer's régime, and when he had begun to wobble. Although the much-disliked factory guard had disappeared, the revolt and "whaling" set the escape thoughts going in the minds of four boys at a very much accelerated speed. Such thoughts are always on top, as it were, wherever human beings are shut up—even in hospitals; but the four lads—I was one of them—put their heads together and plotted as never before. A fight, and a subsequent order to stand "in line," sent my desire for freedom soaring uncommonly high. One of the "softies" and I had clashed for some reason or other, and a "whaling" at night, besides "standing in line," stared us in the face. Throughout the afternoon I pondered over ways and means to reach the great "outside," taking four trusted "stand-patters" into my confidence; they also wanted to go. For different reasons punishment of some kind awaited all of us, and as I was almost sure of a thrashing for fighting, I concluded that, if caught, I might as well make it do duty for trying to escape as well. All the boys calculated on such lines very nicely. It was finally decided that the most practicable plan was to jump from the schoolroom window, when we were marching in line to the basement, to undress for the night. The distance to the ground was perhaps twenty feet, but during the afternoon we studied very carefully the probable spot we should land on, and all felt equal to the adventure. We should have to make the escape in bare feet, and without coats, but we decided that we didn't want the tell-tale jackets anyhow, and we thought we could smuggle our socks and caps into the schoolroom without detection. That last evening in the schoolroom was a very nervous one, for four boys at least. From time to time, when the officer was not looking, we exchanged
- 79. significant glances to make sure that there had been no defection in our ranks. Our caps and socks were hidden in our clothing. At last the whistle blew, books were put away, and the order to form line was given. My mind was firmly made up. Even if the other boys weakened I was going through the open window and on to the "outside." For some reason I felt as if success awaited me, and barring the drop from the window and a possible immediate capture, I feared very little. I was the first to take the drop. Suddenly I fell out of line, scrambled over the sill, and—dropped into the darkness. Whether the other three followed my example or not I do not know; probably not, because my disappearance made the officer reach threateningly for his revolver, as I was able to see while going over the sill. Once on the ground I waited for nobody, but went tearing over the lawn, barefooted and bareheaded, in the direction of the railroad track at the foot of the slope. There I concealed myself under a fence, and in a moment the great whistle told the surrounding country, with long blasts, that a "Ref" boy had escaped, while the flaring light lit up the lawn and assisted the officers in their search. Pretty soon I heard their voices and hurrying footsteps all about me, but they never came quite close enough to uncover my hiding place. I must have remained under the fence two good hours before I dared to proceed. This was about the conventional time given to a search, and I remained silent as the grave until all was quiet. Then, crawling rather than walking, I made my way to the railroad bridge, crossed it cat-like, and proceeded boldly toward the wooded hills opposite the school—the hills that I had so often looked at longingly, and wondered whether I should ever be able to cross without being captured. The underbrush and fallen twigs and branches must have hurt my feet, but the scratches and bruises were hardly noticed in the excitement of getting away. And although the night had become fairly cool, and I had nothing but shirt and trousers to cover me, I was literally in a violent perspiration when I reached the top of the first hill, and looked back on the school and the flaming light. "Good-bye, brush factory and strap," I murmured. "May we never meet again." Early morning found me lying exhausted, with torn feet and hands, near a roadway leading, as I saw, to open fields where there were houses and barns. It seemed as if during the night I must have traveled easily twenty miles, but as a matter of fact I had covered but four. The sun was not yet up, and I lay quiet for some time, considering how the day would best be spent and nursing my sore feet. Gradually an unconquerable appetite and thirst came over me, which were accentuated by the smoke issuing from the
- 80. farmhouse chimneys. This was a sure token that the breakfast fires had been started, and I recalled with relish the scant meal that the boys at the school would soon be eating. However, I was free! No guard was there to boss me about, and I could linger or proceed, as I wished. But that appetite! Finally, in desperation, I determined to risk my liberty and ask for something to eat at the nearest farmhouse. It was impossible to proceed without food, and I very much needed a new outfit of clothing, both for safety and looks. My reception at the farmhouse was puzzling at first. The good farmer and his wife gave me a bountiful meal, but the former looked at me suspiciously, and remarked that he had heard the school-whistle the night before. His good wife, however, was very compassionate and sympathetic. There was a grown-up son, who also seemed to be on my side. Would the mother and son win, I wondered. When the meal was over the farmer frankly told me that he knew from my clothes that I was a schoolboy, and that he did not believe at all the story I had given him by way of explanation. It was a case of run for dear life or ask for mercy. I determined to trust to my powers of persuasion, and for one solid hour I pleaded with that farmer not to take me back. He knew, and I knew, that he would receive fifteen dollars reward for my return, and as it was Sunday, and he was bound for church, the side trip to the school would take him very little out of his way. "But it is against the law for me to help you to get away," the farmer contended. "I can be fined for doing it." "Just give me some old clothes and shoes," I replied, "and no one will ever know that you saw me. Besides, I'll only go to the devil in that school. It did me no good." The farmer seemed to waver, and I turned to the son, asking him to intercede for me, telling him a little, very little, about myself. He smiled. "Pop ain't goin' to take you back, don't worry," he consoled me, and it seemed as if a great stone had been lifted off my back. Very few times in my life have I experienced the same peace and thankfulness that were mine after the son had spoken. Soon he brought me some old boots, a coat and a different cap, for which I gladly exchanged that of the school. When my pockets had been filled with sandwiches and doughnuts, and the farmer had at last finished cautioning me about being careful, I bade these good people good-bye. If they should ever see these lines, I want them once again to receive my heartfelt thanks for their hospitality, and to know that their kindness was not altogether misplaced.
- 81. All during that Sunday I remained hidden in some woods, resuming my journey toward the West Virginia state line at night. After five days' travel I crossed the imaginary boundary—it was a living thing to me—and was at last out of the jurisdiction of the superintendent and his officers. Then began that long eight months' tramp trip, during which I finally came to my senses and said Adios to Die Ferne forever—Adios in the sense that never again was she able to entangle me in a mesh of difficulties nor to entice me away from the task set before me. She thought many and many a time afterward, when the call of the Road was strong and tempting, that she again had me in her toils. But respectable vacation trips or bona fide investigations in the tramp world sufficed to satisfy my Wanderlust. Without doubt these excursions and investigations were a compromise with the Road in a certain sense; the wanderer's temperament lingered with me for years. But Die Ferne was beaten for all time. To the school life and the ensuing eight months' sojourn In Hoboland credit is also due for the disappearance of my pilfering inclination. When, how, why, or where it went, are questions I can answer but imperfectly to-day. It slipped out of my life as silently and secretly as it had squirmed into it, and all that I can definitely remember now in the shape of a "good-bye" to it, on my part, is a sudden awakening, one morning on the Road, and then and there resolving to leave other people's property alone. There was no long consideration of the matter, I merely quit on the spot; and when I knew that I had quit, that I was determined to live on what was mine or on nothing, the rest of the Road experience was a comparatively easy task. I have said that I told the farmer who abetted me in my escape from the school, that I should only go to the devil if taken back to it. It is impossible to say now whether this would have happened or not. But it is unfair, as I think the matter over to-day, not to admit that, with all its failings and drawbacks, the school life helped to bring me to my senses. It set me to thinking, as never before, about the miserable cussedness of my ways, and it showed me in no unmistakable manner where Die Ferne would eventually lead me, unless I broke with her. The long, wearisome tramp trip that followed did what else was necessary to show me that kicking against the good, as I had been doing for so long, was unprofitable and unmanly. At one time in my life I seriously contemplated taking an officer's position in a reform school, in the hope that I might be of use in that way. Politics—they are plastered over everything in our country, it seems—and doubts about my fitness for such work, eventually decided me against attempting it. But I desire to say here, that for young men interested in institutional work, and
- 82. willing to make a number of sacrifices, I know of no better field for doing good than in a reform school. The more a candidate for such a position has studied, traveled and observed the better. In Germany there is a school or seminary where applicants for positions in corrective and, I think, penal institutions as well, go through a set course of training and study before they are accepted. Something similar, minus the rigid German notions of the infallibility of their "systems" and "cure-alls," might be tried to advantage in this country. The work to be done is deserving of the most sympathetic interest on the part of college and university trained men who feel drawn to such activities.
- 83. CHAPTER VII EARLY TRAMPING EXPERIENCES Hoboland—Gay-Cat Country—The Road—what memories these names bring to mind! Years ago they stood for more than they do now. There were not so many bona fide out-of-works or tramps as at present, and the terms described distinct territories and boundaries. Now, the hang-outs are overcrowded with wandering "stake men," and the real hobo, the "blowed-in- the-glass-stiff," more often than not has deserted the old haunts and built for himself new ones, hidden away in bushes or concealed in woods. I think, too, that the real article, as he existed in my day, is giving way, more and more, to the army of casual workers and itinerant day laborers. Whether he has "squared it" and lives respectably, or whether he has broken again into criminal ranks and is trying once more for the final grand "stake" that is to make him independent and comfortable, I cannot say. It is several years now since I have been on the real Road, in the United States, and I only infrequently look up old acquaintances in cities, where many of them are stationary the year round. The Road of twenty years ago, however, I learned to know during those eight months of travel, as probably few boys of my years and bringing-up ever did know—or will know it. The word Road was used as a generic term for the railroads, turnpikes, lanes and trails which all wanderers, professional and semi-amateur, followed for purposes of travel, "graft" and general amusement. Hoboland was that part of the Road which the "blowed-in-the-glass-stiffs" were supposed to wander over—the highways and byways where the men who would not work and lived by begging alone were found. Gay-Cat Country, as undefined in the geographical sense as was Hoboland, for it stretched all over the United States, was the home and refuge of those tramps who would work on occasions—when winter came on, for instance, and box-cars grew too cold and cheerless. In spring, like the modern "stake" men, they gave up their jobs, and went merrily on their way again, the Road having become hospitable once more. Both Hoboland and Gay-Cat Country dovetailed into each other after a fashion—one "hang out," for example, often had to serve both sets of vagabonds—but the intersecting was almost entirely physical. The same railroads and highways were as open to the Gay-Cats, provided they were strong enough to assert their rights, as
- 84. to the hoboes—the "hang-outs" also at times; but here the association stopped. The hobo considered himself, and really was, more of a person than the Gay-Cat, and he let the latter know it. Consequently, although both men in a year's time often covered pretty much the same territory, each one called this territory by a different name, and held himself pretty well aloof from the other—the hobo, on account of pride and caste, the Gay-Cat because he knew that he was unwelcome in the "blowed-in-the-glass" circle. To-day, I make no doubt that the Road is tramped over by a hundred different species of vagrants, each having its own particular name, and, perhaps, even territory. The world has its shifts and changes among the outcast's as well as in the aristocrat's domain, and I hear now of strange clans of rovers that had not yet been organized when I began tramping. So it is with everything, and I should probably have difficulty now in finding the old sign posts and "hang-outs" that I once knew so well. My first appearance on the Road proper, after so unceremoniously leaving brush factory and schoolroom, took place, one night, at some coke ovens near the State line toward which I was traveling. My boots had been exchanged for shoes, the old cap had given way to a better one, and the ragged coat had been patched. In this fashion I climbed to the top of the ovens and said "Hello!" to some men who were cooking their coffee in a tomato-can over one of the oven openings. I do not recall now whether they were Gay-Cats or hoboes, but they were at any rate very hospitable, which must be said of both classes of men when separated. Thrown together they are likely to be on their dignity—particularly the hoboes. Coffee was given me, also bread and meat, and I was shown how to fix some planks across the edge of the oven for sleeping purposes. My inexperience became only too apparent when I told the men that I had "just beat the Ref." The look they gave one another after this confession was a revelation to me at the time, and remains in my memory still as one of the earliest typical hobo traits I remarked. What it meant to me at the moment is not clear any longer; I probably simply made a note of it, and resolved to know more about it later on. Thinking it over, it seems to me that it epitomized in a glance all the secret clannishness and "ear-wigging" tendencies which the travelers of the Road possess in such large and abundant measure. The "ear-wigging"—listening—was plain to see when the men stopped talking themselves, and gave heed to me, practically a kid; the secrecy, when one of them kindly advised me not to spread the news of my escape too promiscuously; and the clannishness in giving a fellow roadster such practical counsel.
- 85. That night on the coke ovens was uneventful, except that all of us had to be careful not to roll off our perches into the hot fires beneath us, which fact calls to mind an experience I had later on in a railway sand-house in Ohio. The sand was just comfortably hot when I lay down to sleep, but I forgot that the fire might brighten up during the night, and I lay close to the stove. What was my dismay in the morning, on brushing off the sand, to find that the seat of my best trousers had been burned through over night. Fortunately I had two pair on, otherwise my predicament would have been no laughing matter. Once over the State line, I made for Wheeling. There was no particular reason in heading for that town, but in tramp life there is no special reason for going anywhere. Time and again I have started north or south with a well mapped out itinerary, and plans fixed and set. Along came some roadster with a more interesting route to follow, or what seemed to be such, and my route, or his, was discarded in a moment. Thus it ever was during the eight months; one day Chicago might be my objective, and I fancied that I knew exactly what was necessary to be done there. In a hundred miles, as likely as not, something far more important, as I thought, required my attention in New Orleans. Die Ferne has seldom had her wild calls more carefully listened to by me than they were at this time. There was no home that I dared go to, the world was literally my oyster, and all I had to do, or knew how to do, for the time being, was wander. Roadsters, who railroaded as persistently as I did, seldom stopping for more than a day or so, at the most a week end in any one place, are called victims of the "railroad fever." In West Virginia I heard of a country district between the State line and Wheeling where it was easy to "feed," where, in fact, travelers on the highway, when meal-time came, were beckoned into the cabins by the mountaineers to have a bite. Such localities are called by tramps "fattenin'-up places." What with the nervousness, incident to the escape, and the following severe travels, I had become pretty thin and worn-out, and the country district in the hills took hold of my fancy. There is nothing of particular interest about the locality or my stay there to call for especial comment here, except that the mountaineers were so friendly and hospitable that I was able to build up my strength very considerably for the struggle of existence in inhospitable places further on. It was also a capital hiding-place until the excitement over my departure from the school, if there had been any, should subside. In my other writings I have told pretty minutely what I learned about tramp life during the eight months' trip as well as on later excursions. There is
- 86. consequently not much left to tell on these lines except of a pretty personal nature and as it affects the general progress of this autobiography. I shall therefore have to skip hurriedly from district to district relating such incidents as illustrate my position and experience in Hoboland, and estimating what this strange country accomplished for me and with me. During the first month of my wanderings I was bedless, and frequently roofless. Indeed, when I finally did rest or try to, in a bed, the experience was so strange that I slept very little. A box-car, a hay-stack, a railway tie drawn close to a fire—these were my principal lodging places during the entire eight months. It may have been a hard outing, but it toughened and inured me to unpleasantness which would certainly seem very undesirable now. In a way, they were undesirable then. I always laugh when a tramp tells me that he is happier in a box-car than in a bed. He merely fancies that he is, and I certainly should not like to risk offering him my bed in exchange for his box-car. Yet at the time in question I was able to sleep uncommonly well in box-car or hay-stack, and except when traveling at night, eight hours' good rest constituted my regular portion. In general, I kept track of the names of the different States and large cities I visited, but, when asked to- day whether I have been in a certain town, I am often at a loss for an answer; I simply do not know whether I have been there or not. On the other hand, certain "stops" at comparatively insignificant places have clung in my memory when much larger places that I must have seen are dim and hazy. All told, I traveled in the great majority of the full-fledged States of that period, and visited many of the large cities. At one of these minor "stops" in Michigan, I probably had a chance to experiment with that tantalizing dream of earlier years—the notion that to amount to anything I must go secretly to some place, work my way into a profession, and then on up the ladder until I should be able to return to my people, and say: "Well, with all my cussedness, I managed to get on." The town had the conventional academy and other educational institutions which my dream had always included in the career I had in mind, and there was a hospitality about the people which promised all kinds of things. I got my dinner at the home of a well-to-do widow who very sensibly made me work for it, chopping wood, a task that I was careful to perform behind the house so that my companions, real hoboes, every one of them, should not see me breaking one of their cardinal rules. The work over, I was invited into the dining room for my meal, during which the good hostess asked me rather minutely about my life. For some reason, I was in the "self-made man" mood at the time, and told the woman about my desire for an education, and later,
- 87. a professional career. She came over to my seat, examined my cranium, and then, turning to her daughter—a sightly miss—said: "The head is not at all badly shaped. He may be bright." "Let us hope so, for his sake anyhow," was the daughter's rather doubtful comment. Before leaving, the mother was rather insistent on my calling at the office of a local lawyer who was reported to be "much interested in young men, and their welfare." I promised to look him up, but somehow his time and mine did not agree—he was not at his office—and perhaps I lost another chance to be a legal light. As the weeks and months went by, the dream of "self-madeness," as I once heard a tramp describe it, became less and less oppressive; at any rate, I noticed that merely because a town or village harbored an academy and college, and possibly a philanthropic lawyer, did not suffice to tempt me out of the box-car rolling through the locality. Nothing else in particular had come to take its place, that I recall. But certain it is that the box-car, on a bright, sunny day, rolling along, clinkety-clink, chunkety-chunk, possessed temporary attractions which dreamy self- madeness could not offer. This particular time in my wanderings probably saw the height of the railroad fever in me. It burned and sizzled it almost seemed on occasions, and the distant whistle of a "freight" going my way, or any way, for that matter, became as sweet a sound as was ever the dinner call or the recess bell. To-day I can laugh at all this, but it was a very serious matter in those days; unless I covered a certain number of miles each day or week, and saw so many different States, cities, rivers and kinds of people, I was disappointed—Hoboland was not giving me my share of her bounteous supply of fun and change. Of course, I was called "railroad crazy" by the quieter roadsters in whom the fever, as such, had long since subsided, but I did not mind. Farther, farther, farther! This was what I insisted on and got. In the end I had seen a great deal, of course, but altogether too much of it only superficially. Later tramp trips, undertaken with a serious purpose and confined to narrower limits, have netted me much more lasting information and amusement. Of accidents during my whirl-wind travels I am thankful to say that there is very little to report. While other men and boys were breaking legs, getting crushed under wheels and falling between cars, I went serenely on my way unharmed. There is a world of significance to me now in the words: "Unknown man among the dead," printed so often in connection with freight- train wrecks. They usually mean that one more hobo or Gay-Cat has "cashed in" and is "bound out." Perhaps I came as near to a serious mishap in western Pennsylvania as anywhere else. I was traveling with a tall, lanky
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