X paragraph writing_2

SUBJECT - ENGLISH

CLASS - VIII

CHAPTER - PARAGRAPH WRITING

MODULE - ADVANCED PARAGRAPH WRITING

[Anchor1]

Hello friends. We had started off last time with the basics of paragraph writing.
Lets recall what all we had learnt.

VO with Text on Screen

• A paragraph is a piece of writing that deals with a single thought or idea.
• A paragraph is made up of sentences related to each other by a common
topic.
• Outlines are incomplete sentences meant to guide us in writing the
paragraph.
• Writing the outlines as grammatically correct and meaningful sentences is
called developing the outlines.
• We must stick to the topic and the outlines given to us.

So keeping these basics as the base let us set our learning objectives for today’s
module.

Learning Objectives

Upon completion of this module, the learner will be able to-
• Develop the outline into complete meaningful sentences.
• Order the sentences to give flow and clarity to a paragraph
• Apply the rules while writing a paragraph to make it crisp and meaningful

[Anchor 2]

Given the outlines, we had written the points as complete, meaningful sentences.
But, the way we develop our outlines is also important as it makes our paragraph
a better one. As we proceed, we will look at the rules which will help us to write a
beautiful paragraph. Our friends Nikki and Deepu had got their outlines by
interviewing their colony residents. They have now developed their outlines. Let
us see how their paragraph ‘My Colony’ looks.


My Colony
Excellent park… for morning walks and exercise… has swings… no electricity,
water problems… good security for residents… friendly neighbours… school and
hospital nearby… calm and peaceful environment

Our colony has an excellent park. The park in our colony is very good for
morning walks. The park in our colony is also good for exercises. The park in our
colony also has very good swings. There is no electricity or water problem in our
colony. There is good security for the residents of our colony. The neighbours are
friendly. There is a school and a hospital nearby. The colony has a very calm and
peaceful environment. I think it is the best colony of the city.

[For MM] Show the conversation between characters

Akash : You have written all the points in the outline as complete sentences.
Now let us beautify the paragraph.
Nikki : How can we improve our paragraph?
Akash : Firstly, look at the topic of your paragraph. It says ‘My Colony’. So
everywhere in your paragraph, you need not mention that it is your
colony. It is obvious that you wouldn’t talk about some other place
in a paragraph titled ‘My Colony’. So you need not repeat the fact
that it is your colony. Similarly when you are talking about the park
in your colony in the first line, you need not mention again that it is
the park in your colony. You could just say ‘the park’. The person
reading your paragraph will understand that it is the same park.
Deepu : So, we should avoid repeating things unnecessarily.


RULE 2 : Do not repeat words or phrases unnecessarily.

[Anchor 3]

Yes children. Paragraph is something which is very short. There is no scope for
repetition in it. Unnecessarily repeating words makes our paragraph dull and
boring. By using pronouns like he, she or it; we can make our paragraph crisper
and fresher. At times, when we are talking about the topic itself, it is understood
to the reader. We need not explicitly mention it again and again. It is an accepted
fact that the paragraph will talk about its title. All sentences will be read and
interpreted in the context of its topic. Let us see how the paragraph Nikki and
Deepu wrote looks now, after they have chopped off the words they were
repeating earlier.


My Colony

Earlier version:
Our colony has an excellent park. The park in our colony is very good for
morning walks. The park in our colony is also good for exercises. The park in our
colony also has very good swings. There is no electricity or water problem in our
colony. There is good security for the residents of our colony. The neighbours are

Corrected version:
Our colony has an excellent park. The park is very good for morning walks. It is
also good for exercises. It also has very good swings. There is no electricity or
water problem. There is good security for the residents. The neighbours are


Akash : The next rule you should keep in mind is to make the sentences
crisp and brief. The paragraph is very short. We should write only to
the point. Try to group the sentences using conjunctions.
Nikki : Can we write all sentences about the park together?
Akash : Yes. That would make your paragraph neater and shorter.
Deepu : Let’s do that.

RULE 3 : The paragraph should be brief and to the point.

[Anchor 4]

Since the length of the paragraph is limited, we need not elaborate the points.
There is no need to explain the sentences in our paragraph. Just writing clear
and complete sentences is enough. If we just stick to our outlines and write them
as clear sentences, it is enough. We need not clarify them further. Not being
crisp and to the point makes our paragraph a very poorly written one. There
might be many things that you want to say, but say it in the neatest possible
manner, so that the reader understands it. For example, we asked Geeta why
she didn’t come to school yesterday. Look at the answer she gave


{Face of an 8 year old girl with a bubble with the following text. Voice over.}

Geeta : Ma’m, I had to go for my cousin’s wedding. The wedding was in Mumbai.
Do you know it takes two days by train to reach there? Mumbai is very crowded.
Everybody is so busy there. Didi’s lehenga was so beautiful…

We asked Payal the same question. Look at her reply.
{Face of another 8 year old girl with a bubble with the following text. Voice over.}
Payal: Ma’m, I had gone for my cousin’s wedding in Mumbai.

[Anchor 5]

We wanted to know only why Geeta hadn’t come to school. We were not
interested in the details of Mumbai and the wedding. All the extra information
made Geeta’s answer unnecessarily long.
In our paragraph, we must not only avoid giving unnecessary information but
should also avoid speaking elaborately. Try to find the smallest sentence to
convey your point. Do not repeat the sentences. Be short and crisp. Only then
will the reader enjoy reading your paragraph and get influenced by it.
Using conjunctions is a very good idea of grouping sentences. For example: In
the paragraph that Nikki and Deepu are writing, they talk about the park in their
colony in the first three sentences. They could have grouped the sentences
together. Let us see how the sentences look after grouping.

My Colony

Earlier version:
Our colony has an excellent park. The park is very good for morning walks. It is
also good for exercises. It also has very good swings.

Corrected version:
Our colony has an excellent park which is very good for morning walks and
exercises. It also has very good swings.

[Anchor 6]
Using conjunctions like ‘and’, ‘while’, ‘which’ etc helps us group sentences and
make our paragraph crisper.
The next thing that we should be careful about is the order of thoughts.

RULE 4 : Sentences should be in proper sequence.

[Anchor 7]

When we want to convey a thought, sequence makes a difference. Look at the
following sentences.

I fell down.
I was playing in the garden.
A stone came in the way.
I started cycling;
I began to get bored.

[Anchor 8]

These sentences don’t seem to make any sense. Let’s rearrange them and again
take a look at them.

I was playing in the garden.
I began to get bored.
I started cycling.
A stone came in the way.
I fell down.

[Anchor 9]
Now the sentences begin to make sense. We are able to follow the sentences
logically and understand what must have happened. Similarly in your paragraph,
make sure the sentences are in proper order. Do not mix up the order of the
sentences in the outline.


Akash : Now your paragraph looks much better. But, does it look like you
are talking to somebody? When we speak, do we speak separate
sentences? Or is there some connection between them?
Nikki : Connection? What do you mean by that? We cant group all the
sentences.
Akash : You cant group all sentences. But you can at least relate them to
each other.


RULE 5 : Relate sentences to each other.

[Anchor 9]

When we speak, we not only speak the sentences in a particular order but also
connect the lines. After we finish speaking a sentence, there should be a reason
why we are speaking the next sentence, otherwise it begins to sound illogical
right? For example, look at the following 2 sentences.

I had ice-cream. I got a sore throat.

[Anchor 10]
The sentences by themselves are not related. It is not necessary that you got a
sore throat because of the ice-cream. The reader is left wondering why you
mentioned that you got the sore throat. He also doesn’t know whether you got
the sore throat because of the ice-cream or not. A simple conjunction could have
related the two sentences and made your paragraph easier to understand.

I had ice-cream and got a sore throat.
I had ice-cream and so I got a sore throat.
I had ice-cream because of which I got a sore throat.
I had ice-cream as a result of which I got a sore throat.

[Anchor 11]

Any of these sentences sounds better than what we had previously. Depending
upon the conjunction that you use, the length of the sentence may vary. Try to
choose the link which uses minimum words but conveys the meaning
successfully. It doesn’t matter if linking sentences makes the paragraph slightly
longer than what it would be with individual sentences. Just a group of sentences
does not constitute a paragraph. A paragraph is a group of related sentences.
So, we must relate the sentences and show the link between them. It is not only
easier to understand but also sounds better when one thought arises naturally
out of the previous. It looks like a single paragraph without abrupt jerks or change
of track. Look at these sentences.

Lot of energy is wasted in overwork. Energy is restored by leisure.
Lot of energy is wasted in overwork and this energy is restored by leisure.

[Anchor 12]

Thus, usage of pronouns and conjunctions makes our paragraph more sensible
and logical. Well connected sentences are a sign of a good paragraph. At times,
it is necessary to write the first sentence of the paragraph ourselves from the
topic. The first sentence of the outline may not make sense independently. We
may need a sentence before starting with developing the outline. For example:

Topic : Visit to market place
Very crowded… noisy… lots of shops… banners for sale, discount… people
bargaining…

[Anchor 13]

If we start off by saying the market place was very crowded, it will appear
senseless. Which market place? What is the theme of the paragraph? All sorts of
questions will arise in the mind of the reader. In such cases, it is useful to write
an introductory sentence ourselves, so that the rest of the sentences of the
outline then begin to make sense. We could write…

I went to visit the market place one day. It was very crowded and noisy. There
were lots of shops and banners for sale and discount were put up outside them. I
could see many people bargaining.

[Anchor 14]
The first line ‘I went to visit the market place one day’ clarifies the topic in the
mind of the reader. The sentence not only helps us link the remaining sentences
but also gives the paragraph a proper shape.

[Animation]

Akash : We need not write the same words as those given in the outline. To
make the sentences more meaningful, we may add words or
change words according to our will.
Deepu : But we should not miss out any point given in the outline.
Akash : Right. You can add things and modify sentences, but do not skip
any point given in the outline. The outline tells you the major points
which your paragraph must contain.
Nikki : Now, I understand what you meant by developing the outlines
beautifully. How we elaborate the sentences, what words we use
and how we connect the sentences makes the difference between a
good and a bad paragraph.
Akash : Yes, let us modify your paragraph now.

[Anchor 15]
Let us see how the paragraph looks after modification.

My Colony

Earlier version:
Our colony has an excellent park which is very good for morning walks and
exercises. It also has very good swings. There is no electricity or water problem.
There is good security for the residents. The neighbours are friendly. There is a
school and a hospital nearby. The colony has a very calm and peaceful
environment. I think it is the best colony of the city.

Corrected Version:
Very few people know about our colony. Our colony has an excellent park which
is very good for morning walks and exercises. It also has very good swings.
There is no electricity or water problem here. There is good security for the
residents. It is fun living here as the neighbours are friendly and helpful. The
school and hospital nearby make living more secure for the children and the
aged. The colony has a very calm and peaceful environment. I think it is the best
colony of the city.

[Anchor 16]

Even if the paragraph is longer than what it was before, it is worth it. Now the
paragraph sounds better and also has a better impact. We can include short
proverbs or emphatic statements to make our paragraph more attractive. The
paragraph is a creative piece of writing. The main aim is to write down our
thoughts in an arranged manner and influence the reader. If including something
in your paragraph makes it more attractive, then go ahead and do it. All
paragraphs don’t look alike. There is no single way in which a given set of
outlines can be developed. Different people use different words, different tools to
make their paragraph unique and to have an impact on the readers. Be free to
make your paragraph unique while staying withing the boundaries of the given
outlines.


Deepu : Bhaiya, does our paragraph look neat and crisp now?
Akash : It looks much better. Just one last thing remains.
Nikki : What is that Bhaiya?
Akash : Look at the last line.

I think it is the best colony of the city.


Akash : While writing paragraphs, we must avoid giving our own views.
Nikki : But, you yourself said, we could add our own sentences. We need
not write exactly what was given in the outlines.
Akash : You can write your own sentences, choose your own words. But
avoid voicing your thoughts and views. A paragraph is a very short
piece of writing, where the reader just gets a quick idea of the topic.
There is no limit to the length of a paragraph, no definite rule about
the number of sentences in a paragraph. But, writing our views,
thoughts and opinions in a paragraph is not very appropriate.

Deepu : But our colony won the NSF Best residential colony award last year.
Akash : Then, mention that. Don’t say that you think it’s the best colony. Say
that the colony won the award.
Nikki : So facts and accepted thoughts are what we should include in our
paragraph. Personal opinions and views should be avoided.

RULE 6: Avoid writing personal opinions and views on the topic.

[Anchor 17]

It is better to state facts and thoughts as they are instead of presenting our
personal opinions and views. Thus we need to be brief and to the point. But the
sentences should be related to one another and the whole paragraph should
collectively speak about the topic as one whole chunk and not separate
sentences.

Children, today we have learnt that


• We develop the outlines into complete meaningful sentences.
• We should not repeat words and phrases unnecessarily.
• We should be brief and to the point.
• We should write the sentences in proper order.
• The sentences should be related to each another.
• Personal opinion and views should be avoided.

Question - Answer Session

Develop paragraphs on the basis of the given outlines.
{Question appears and after 3 seconds the answer appears.}

Topic: Rainbow
Appears after rain… made of seven colours… VIBGYOR… beautiful to watch…
signifies life… seven colours combine to make white…

Answer:
The rainbow appears when sun shines after rain. The rainbow is made of seven
colours – violet, indigo, blue, green, yellow, orange and red - collectively known
as VIBGYOR. It is a beautiful sight to watch. The rainbow signifies life. The way
seven colours combine to make white light, different emotions join together to
form life.

Topic: Trees – our friends

Trees have life… give us fruits… wood… shade… cause rainfall… clean air… we
should not cut them…

Answer:
Trees have life too like humans. Tree give us fruits to eat and wood for making
furniture. During summers, they give us shade. Trees cause rainfall and clean
the air. We should not cut trees.

Topic: A visit to book fair
Last Sunday… with friends… many publishing houses displayed books… I
bought some… had tea and snacks.

Answer:
Last Sunday, I visited the World Book Fair with my friends. Many publishing
houses had displayed their books. I bought some books on science and
technology. At the end of the day, we felt tired and had tea and snacks.

[Anchor 18]

Here are some outlines. Develop these into paragraphs yourselves.
{Question appears and after 3 seconds the answer appears.}

Topic: Education
Must for every child… imparts knowledge… makes the child intelligent… tackles
issues with wisdom… has information… education shapes the personality…
important for country’s future…

Topic: A Street Hawker
A familiar figure… seen near schools, bus stands… shout in full voice… attract
the customer… sell vegetables, ice-creams… sometimes stale things… life very
hard…

Topic: Air pollution
Clean air essential for life… smoke from vehicles pollute… industrial smoke…
ozone layer getting depleted… cause many health hazards… asthma, breathing
problems… children most affected…

Anchor 19
Children, we now come to the end of our module on Paragraph Writing. I hope
this session was easy, and informative. Have a good day!

End of the episode

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