Better Relationships at Work - Communication Skills with Enneagram

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Understanding Personality
Types and Behavior
Patterns for Harmonious
Relationships at Work
With Coen Tan

KEY PRINCIPLES OF THE ENNEAGRAM
The Enneagram is a personality type instrument.
People do not change from one basic personality type to
another.
There are 9 types, and ALL 9 types reside within you, meaning
you will need to depend on the strengths of each type. Your
core type is your base.
Saying you’re one type does not “box you up” into that type
and that you cannot grow.

KEY PRINCIPLES OF THE ENNEAGRAM
The descriptions of the personality types are universal and
apply equally to males and females, since no type is inherently
masculine or feminine.
The numerical ranking of the types is not significant. A larger
number is no better than a smaller number; it is not better to
be a Nine than a Two because nine is a bigger number.
No type is inherently better or worse than any other. While all
the personality types have unique assets and liabilities, some
types are often more desirable than others in any given culture
or group.

ETHICAL USE OF THE ENNEAGRAM
Help others discover their type; don't tell then
what type they are
Avoid stereotyping. Each of us is an individual
expression of our type.
Don't make excuses or find faults for behavior
based on type.
Refrain from using your style as a justification
for your actions.

ETHICAL USE OF THE ENNEAGRAM
When you have a negative reaction to another
type, investigate your own reactivity. Don't
assume the issue is with the other.
Respect the privacy and personal boundaries
of other participants.
Avoid making key life decisions based on type

Union
-9 months to
1 year
UNDERSTANDING PERSONALITY
(NATURE OR NURTURE???)
1 year to 4
years
Separation
4 years to
12 years
Socialization
Individuation
Rest of Life

The Three Centers
of Intelligence

Rank the Following 3 Emotions, How
Often do you Feel Them?
Anger
Sadness
Fear

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THE THREE CENTRES
OF INTELLIGENCE
Body Centered Types
Base Emotion: Anger
Heart-Centered Types
Base Emotion: Sadness
Head-Centered Types
Base Emotion: Fear

Introduction to
the Enneagram
Types

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THE ENNEAGRAM
The Achiever / Performer
The Need to Succeed

TYPE 3: THE PERFORMER / ACHIEVER
Threes seek to create an image of success or competence, and to
gain the admiration of others, through active efforts in both work
and appearance.
They are extremely competent and effective doers who get a lot
done, making things happen by finding the most direct path to
their goal, removing obstacles along the way.
Threes are skilled at using goals to motivate their efforts and are
resourceful and productive in achieving these goals.
However, they may lose sight of who they really are apart from
the persona they have adopted to achieve their goals.
May become over identified with their persona and under
identified with who they really are.

Energy Focus:
•Tasks – Getting things done
•Achievement of goals
Body Language:
•Highly adaptable to situation
•Highly energetic when focused
Vocals / Speech Patterns:
•Usually straight to the point
•Can also be empathetic if the situations call for it
Type Threes

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THE ENNEAGRAM
The Helper / Giver
The Need to be
Needed

TYPE 2: THE HELPER
Usually empathetic to others' needs, often anticipating them
even before they are communicated
The eagerness to give belies the deep craving they have to be
loved
Twos find self-worth in being needed by those they value and
unconsciously seeking to get their needs met in return
If they give without receiving, they may end up feeling
unappreciated
They end up denying their own needs and lose a clear sense of
how they really feel.
At times they may get in their own way by overdoing shape-
shifting to please others.

Energy Focus:
•Other-focused
•Relationship and connection
Body Language:
•Warm, soft, friendly facial features
•Usually reaching out towards others
•Usually softer, warmer tone of voice
•Unlikely to use strong words, because that will cause
disconnection
Type Twos

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THE ENNEAGRAM
The Romantic / Individualist
The Need to be Special

TYPE 4: THE INDIVIDUALIST
Have a natural gift for understanding the deeper emotional level
of experience and seeing the beauty in darker emotions that
other types avoid
Their regular contact with their own emotional terrain gives
them comfort in being with intense feeling and empowering
others to feel and accept their emotion.
Fours value the expression of authentic emotion and can support
others with great care, respect and sensitivity when they are
experiencing painful emotions.
Emotional fixation is envy and Type 4 constantly compare
themselves
Can become attached to their feelings in a way that prevent
them from thinking objectively or taking action

Energy Focus:
•Inward-focused (What am I feeling?)
•Originality, uniqueness, beauty, self-expression
Body Language:
•Really depends on level of introversion/extraversion
•Expressive fours can be very animated and express their
emotions strongly
•Depends on intensity of feelings expressed, usually gifted with
words, like “painting a picture with words”
•Use words like “I think, I feel”
Type Fours

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THE ENNEAGRAM The Peacemaker
The Need to Avoid Conflict

TYPE 9: THE PEACEMAKER
Get very good at suppressing feelings, numbing their emotions,
not wanting to feel or show it
Tend not to feel angry often as they focus too much on staying
comfortable and avoiding conflict
Do not internalise their emotions regardless of whether they
are aware of these emotions
Usually self-forgetting, giving up their own priorities,
preferences, opinions in order to “go along and get along”
Emotional and mental pattern of “merging” with others,
individuals, groups, in order to not have to take responsibility
for their own feelings

Energy Focus:
•Other focused
•Harmony, comfort
Body Language:
•Usually neutral, calm and do not betray internal emotions
•Can come across as welcoming, receptive, which puts people at
ease
•Use of qualifying words like “it depends…, generally...”
•Usually quite calm, and less likely to be explosive unless very
angry
Type Nines

The Perfectionist
The Need to be Right
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THE ENNEAGRAM

TYPE 1: THE PERFECTIONIST
Seeks to be good and do the right thing to satisfy an urgent
need to be virtuous and responsible and to avoid blame.
Constantly geared towards complying with rules and
standards, wanting to look right, flawless, perfect
Ones are reliable, responsible, honest, well-intentioned,
conscientious, hardworking, practical and thrifty.
Rigidity, criticism and continuous judgement are characteristic
of Type Ones
On the lowerside, Types 1s can suffer from OCD (Obsessive
Compulsive Disorder)
Big growth is the need to tame their sometimes harsh criticality
and take things less seriously, to relax their inner critic

Energy Focus:
•Both internal and external (checking external cues against
internal standards of right / wrong)
•Being right, doing things the right way
Body Language:
•Usually have furrowed brow, looking “critical”
•Can come across as serious, critical
•Tend to “sermonize”, using words like ”you should…, you need
to...”
Type Ones

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THE ENNEAGRAM
The Boss / Challenger
The Need to have Power

TYPE 8: THE BOSS / CHALLENGER
Driven by the need to challenge and have power of control
Good at protecting and making themselves bigger and stronger
than they really are
Deny their vulnerability, overcompensate by exerting power in
direct ways to control what’s happening
Can appear like a “grizzly bear” but often forget that they are
like a “teddy bear”
Higher purpose of the power is to serve in protection of self
and others
Eights are surprised to received feedback that others
experience them as intimidating, as they don’t intend to be
scary

Energy Focus:
•Power / authority (who’s in control?)
•Fairness, justice
Body Language:
•Usually have big actions, “puffing up to appear strong”
•Can come across as intimidating, challenging
•Can be very direct and at times “blunt”
•Usually not shy of expressing their opinions, even using strong
words to convey urgency or weight
Type Eights

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THE ENNEAGRAM
The Loyalist
The Need to have Security

TYPE 6: THE SKEPTIC LOYALIST
Focus on thinking what might go wrong and strategizing and
preparing for potential problems
Usually ask many questions just to make self feel secure
Sixes try to understand threats and uncertain outcomes so that
they can prevent something bad from happening
Sixes have excellent analytical minds and can be extremely
loyal to friends they trust
Their fatal flaw is that they can get stuck in doubt, endless
questioning, over analysis, focusing too much on worst case
scenarios ad what might go wrong, thus fail to take action
Once they buy into a cause, they will be very devoted and loyal
to the cause

Energy Focus:
•Security & danger (Scanning the Environment for Danger)
•Trust (“Can I trust this person?”)
Body Language:
•Facial expression usually conveys a sense of vigilance
•Can be very warm, welcoming, giving when feeling secure
•Can ask a lot of questions and “figure things out”, usually in
order for security
•Can carry a questioning tone, as is suspicious
Type Sixes

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THE ENNEAGRAM
The Observer / Investigator
The Need to Perceive

TYPE 5: THE OBSERVER
Prefer to take themselves away from situations, withdrawing
into thinking and detaching from feeling as a way of taking
refuge in the inner world.
Usually take the posture of the detached observer
Need time alone to rest or “recharge”, away from prying eyes
and emotional needs of others
Sees knowledge as the most satisfying source of power
Have analytical minds and tend to spend a lot of time pursuing
intellectual interests.
May hold themselves back from social interactions out of a fear
of having their energy depleted by social contact

Energy Focus:
•Space, resources, knowledge
•Competence, mastery
Body Language:
•Facial expression usually conveys a feeling that they are
”processing/thinking”
•Can be withdrawn / detached, not expressive with emotions
•Can ask a lot of questions, just to understand and know
•Can carry a tone of “knowing”, sometimes even proud when
overdone
Type Fives

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THE ENNEAGRAM
The Epicure /
Enthusiast
The Need to avoid
Pain

TYPE 7: THE EPICURE / ENTHUSIAST
Highly energetic and are usually natural connectors
Can often be seen as the “Life of the Party”
Can easily find links and commonalities among seemingly
different subjects
Are options maximizers, they love having as many options as
possible
Enthusiasm and external show of joy belies an underlying need
to avoid feeling pain
Avoidance of pain means that they often don't experience the
fullest depth of their life experiences
Avoid anxiety and fear by moving toward happy feelings, a
positive outlook, pleasurable experiences

Energy Focus:
•External stimulants, materials, events, people
•Fun, enjoyment
Body Language:
•Usually highly energetic, positive, expressive with positive
emotions (usually with a high sense of humor)
•Can also come across as fidgety, easily bored
•Usually speak in a high energy fashion
•Tend to reframe negativity into positivity “always look on the
bright side!”
Type Sevens

The Perfectionist
The Giver
The Need to be
Needed
The Need to Succeed
The Loyalist
The Need to have Security
The Epicure /
Enthusiast
The Need to avoid
Pain
The Need to have Power
The Peacemaker
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THE ENNEAGRAM

The Perfectionist
The Helper / Giver
The Need to be
Needed
The Need to Succeed
The Loyalist
The Need for Security
The Epicure /
Enthusiast
The Need to avoid
Pain
The Need for Power
The Peacemaker
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ENERGY
ORIENTATION
Assertive Triad - 3, 7, 8
Withdrawn Triad - 4, 5, 9
Compliant Triad - 1, 2, 6

There are several FREE Enneagram Tests online, but if you want
to get a detailed report of your type together with definitive
scores, you can take the Enneagram Test at
http://www.wepss.com/buy.asp
Please note that this link, and the Enneagram Test you’re taking is
provided by Dr Jerome Wagner, Coen’s Enneagram Mentor in the
U.S. The USD$10 does not go to Ministry of Influence Pte Ltd, or
Coen. You undertake to transact directly between yourself and
Dr. Jerome Wagner.
Taking the Enneagram Test

Empowering
Conversations
For Career
Development
With Coen Tan
connect@coentan.com

Better Relationships at Work - Communication Skills with Enneagram

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