Understanding Strengths and Needs in Relationships in Recovery: Extroverts and Introverts
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The document explores the concept of temperament, focusing on the distinctions between extroverts and introverts, and how understanding these differences can enhance communication, relationships, and reduce stress. It provides insights into the characteristics of both temperaments, potential conflicts, and suggested interventions for fostering collaboration and support between individuals on either end of the spectrum. The content emphasizes the importance of awareness of personal and others' preferences to create environments that accommodate different needs.
Understanding Strengths and Needs in Relationships in Recovery: Extroverts and Introverts
- 1. Temperament Extroverts and Introverts Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes PhD, LPC-MHSP, LMHC Executive Director, AllCEUs Host, Counselor Toolbox President, Recovery and Resilience International
- 2. Define temperament Examine how knowing your temperament and the temperament of those around you can Improve communication Enhance relationships Reduce stress Explore in-depth the Extrovert/Introvert dimension Identify potential conflicts Examine potential ways to help people on opposite ends of the spectrum collaborate. Objectives
- 3. Temperament A relatively stable set of traits referring to Preferred environments Learning and problem solving styles and methods Ways of conceptualizing and approaching the world Philosophical approach to the world Time management Temperament occurs along a complementary continuum Neither end of the continuum is better or worse Most people are somewhere in between each point
- 4. Temperament As stress increases, people gravitate toward their preferred temperament dimensions Additional stress and vulnerabilities can be reduced through Awareness of personal preferences (Prevent your stress) Awareness of the preferences of those around you Knowledge of how to create an environment supportive of individual preferences
- 5. Temperament—Life Approach Extrovert Introvert Are expansive and less passionate (well rounded) Tend to focus on multiple things superficially Might be thought of as lacking focus May have 6 half-finished projects Find it easy to transition between multiple activities Are intense and passionate (well versed) Will focus on one thing through mastery Might be thought of as being too self-involved Usually get immersed in a project or topic sometimes to the exclusion of other activities (Family time, chores, etc…)
- 6. Interventions Encourage each person to understand the other’s approach and avoid devaluing it Encourage Introverts to set alarms or otherwise schedule in other activities (family/recovery) to avoid getting consumed Sometimes Extroverts are hard to pin down—provide deadlines for specific tasks Encourage partners to discuss their interests, goals (survey, mastery) If it pertains to something like cleaning, recovery etc, clearly define what the goal is…observable, measurable, steps
- 7. Temperament—Social Support Extrovert Introvert Generally easy to get to know Like meeting new people, have many friends Know what is going on around them rather than inside them (chameleon-esque) Tend to be very open and chatty Since they think on their feet they often find reciprocal self- disclosure to be quite easy More difficult to get to know Exert effort to meet new people, have a few close friends Are more likely to know what is going on inside them than what is going on around them Like to think before they speak which makes them seem more reserved Often find connections with others during post-event processing
- 8. Encourage awareness of each other’s feelings in situations (excited vs. overwhelmed; bored vs. intensely fascinated) Have each partner share what they need/want/envision as effective social support Explore reasons for feelings of jealousy/inadequacy and normalize behavior Extroverts may want feedback/support from multiple people Introverts may always seek feedback/support and have intense discussions with one or two people Extroverts do better in groups, draw energy from people Introverts do better with introspective activities draw energy from personal grounding Interventions
- 9. Temperament--Communication Extrovert Introvert Would rather figure things out while they are talking Are often considered good talkers Often auditory learners Figure things out and THEN talk Good listeners Often visual learners Potential Conflicts In disagreements, the extrovert may feel dismissed, the introvert may feel cornered The Introvert may feel “talked over” When one partner is under stress, they respond with their personal problem solving approach
- 10. Interventions Allow the extrovert to say their peace, validate understanding and allow the introvert 30 minutes to compile thoughts. Extrovert writes down the problem, lets the introvert read the narrative, discussion ensues 30 minutes later Understand your partner’s process and develop a system to allow them to work through it. Extroverts will want to be clued in even if it had nothing to do with them Introverts often want to hear about your day, but may forget to ask…so offer Extroverts may need to verbally process their day to figure out what is going on inside themselves Introverts in recovery may need external feedback for perspective
- 11. Temperament--Environment Extrovert Introvert Often enjoy background noise such as TV or radio Often don’t mind clutter Prefer peace and quiet Prefer organization Possible Conflicts Extrovert feels “stir crazy” if it is too quiet. Introvert gets overstimulated with too much noise. Kids Dogs Television Ambient noise (city vs. country)
- 12. Interventions Earplugs and headphones Schedule “quite times” Create “quiet spaces” Develop your daytime/work schedule to conform to personal preferences Add carpet and wall tapestries to absorb some of the noise Be aware of your personal “stress times” and arrange your environment accordingly Environmental stressors can be huge vulnerabilities
- 13. Temperament--Environment Extrovert Introvert Often do not mind interruptions Transition easily between and among tasks Dislike interruptions Have difficulty transitioning (Remember: Intense focus; deep sleep) Potential Conflicts which can add stress Kids Pets Phone Partner Appointments
- 14. Interventions Extroverts can handle interruptions while the Introvert is on an intensive task Introverts need to be aware of time and time sucks Introverts can handle “life” while the extrovert gets some things done. Introverts need to schedule “focus time” around the needs of the family, recovery, wellness (Recovery can pose unique challenges) Kennel the dog & turn off the phone Schedule appointments so they do not interrupt focus time. Introverts can create a transition ritual
- 15. Each person is often a combination of some introverted and some extroverted characteristics Knowing your own preferences can help you reduce your own vulnerabilities and stress Knowing the preferences of your friends, family, coworkers can help you understand more about how to interact in harmony with them Just like two people with depression may have different “symptoms,” two extroverts may have different extrovert traits. Summary
- 16. Summary Quick Assessment Do they/you talk it out or think then talk? Are they/you “friends” with everyone or tend to stay with one or two people or alone? Can they/you focus on one task for an extended period or do they need variety? Do they/you prefer quiet or active environments? What do you bring? Who compliments your traits?