Already in Progress #37: Why Would Anybody Think That?

Welcome back to Already in Progress! It’s been a while, hasn’t
it? We should be good now, though.

Incidentally, Mifune made a cameo appearance in one of my
other stories, and one of my readers said that she would be
surprised if he turned out to be at least bi. Well, he isn’t, and I
can’t imagine how anyone could think that, can you? I mean,
just look at him!

Oh. Right.

Well, anyway, let’s not waste any more time with gossip. Let’s
rejoin our story instead – it’s Already in Progress…

Abbey came over to Sarah Jane’s for a rousing day of playing
Mah-Jongg and Get To Know The Future Daughter-In-Law.

Tim also shared his potty-training stories, but out of respect for
Descartes, they will not be repeated.

DESCARTES: Ahoy there, ye saucy wench! (kisses Abbey on
the cheek) I like your new perfume.
ABBEY: That’s the pot roast you’re smelling.
DESCARTES: Mmmm… Eau d’Pot Roast. Love it. How much
longer are you here?
ABBEY: I’m going to have to leave soon to catch my train.
DESCARTES: Aw, don’t leave. Stay here with me. (kisses
Abbey’s hand)
ABBEY: But I have to. It’s the last train.
DESCARTES: So stay the night. We have plenty of room.
(begins kissing up Abbey’s arm)
ABBEY: Oooooh… (pulling herself together) No, I couldn’t.
Not before we’re married, with your parents and everything…
DESCARTES: So let’s get married right now. I’m a ship’s
captain – I can perform the ceremony myself.

And thus Descartes Littledragon became Descartes Tsvirkunov.

Because the only thing better than one name that nobody can
pronounce or spell is two names that nobody can pronounce or
spell, that’s why.

With such a low-key wedding, it’s no surprise that everyone
turned to their own projects again pretty quickly. There’s Sarah
Jane, making Best Friend #13. There’s Tim, finishing up that
last Mechanical point – only six more skills to max out. There’s
Descartes, getting that Body point he needs to be promoted.

And there’s Abbey, working on her own special project.

ABBEY: (truly disgusting retching noises)

Okay, so it’s a joint project between her and Descartes really.

DESCARTES: Hey, Abbes. You feeling okay?
ABBEY: Not really…
DESCARTES: Is there anything I can do?
ABBEY: No. It’ll go away on its own. In about eight months.
(dives for the toilet again)
DESCARTES: Oh, snap! We’re pregnant?
ABBEY: Uh-huuuurk
DESCARTES: Awesome! (sings) We’re having a BA-by! My
baby and me!

CALVIN: So, Matthias, what questions can I help you with?
MATTHIAS: Well, why did Hobbes give me my skin back?
Why did he take Ty in exchange? What did I do wrong? Why
does he hate me so much? What does he want from me? How
can I make him happy again? If I ask for Ty back, what will he
take away in exchange for that? How am I supposed to figure
any of this out? What do I need to do to not fell like this
anymore?

CALVIN: Matthias, why did you join the Brotherhood?
MATTHIAS: Oh, I was born to it. My father was a member.
And so was his father. I never even thought about it.
CALVIN: Perhaps you should have. Tell me, Matthias: what’s
in your Want panel right now?
MATTHIAS (taken aback): My Want panel? Um… Adopt a
Kitten, Relative gets Engaged, Play With Dante, Play With
Charlotte. Dante and Charlotte are my kids.

CALVIN: Nothing about Meet Aliens?
MATTHIAS: Nope.
CALVIN: Gain a Skill Point?
MATTHIAS: Nope.
CALVIN: Earn a Badge? See a Wolf? Resurrect So-and-so?
Become a Vampire?
MATTHIAS: Nope, nope, nope, and nope.

CALVIN: Matthias… This may be difficult, but… I think that
perhaps, er, “Hobbes” wants you to give up this life and to
enjoy your family with however many years are left to you.
MATTHIAS: Really? You don’t think he’ll be mad?
CALVIN: Is spending more time with your family something
you would like?
MATTHIAS (eagerly): I’d love it!
CALVIN: Then I don’t think “Hobbes” would be mad at all.

And so Matt leaves the Brotherhood to move in with his
daughter. You will see more of them, never fear, but we’ll leave
the Brotherhood alone until such time as someone else may
choose to join.

Mifune’s business has been hemorrhaging money, apparently,
even though I send everyone there to buy their clothing. As far
as I can tell, the game registers the deduction of salaries when a
Sim visits the lot, but does not register the addition of income
from goods purchased. I sent Mifune back to the store, but the
game didn’t magically give him all the monies earned when he
showed up. Yet another programming marvel brought to you by
EAxis.

Venus the dog decided to make friends with a skunk.

Venus is something of a Doofus.

I think we can all figure out how well that went. Having your
dog sprayed by a skunk is not fun at the best of times, but this
was especially bad timing.

A dog that smells of skunk is not exactly what you want at your
wedding.

Of course, there were other problems. Such as the bride’s
mother wearing the exact same dress as the other bride, one of
the guests showing up in her wedding dress, and the pregnant
guest who went home halfway through the ceremony to pee –
never mind that there are three bathrooms in the house.

Not to mention the sister (and her fiancé) who couldn’t be
bothered to watch the ceremony at all.

But despite the hitches, Charlie and Louise got married, and
everyone was pretty happy about it. Whether they watched the
ceremony or not.

Louise Sanders is now Louise Miller.

Eileen and Mifune are probably the youngest natural parents
I’ve ever had at a wedding, but they rectified that after the
guests had gone home.

Mifune was quite ticked off because he did not Grow Up in
GilsCarbo.

But speaking of young parents…

Following several obnoxious haunting incidents, Harkon and
Nirel decided to move Perry and Amy-the-elder’s graves to the
graveyard. The family visits regularly.

Everyone has been rolling the Wants to Get a Kitten and Get a
Kitten/Puppy with monotonous regularity, autonomously
perma-locking them in place of more interesting and more
useful Wants. After a truly frightening experience with the Pet
Adoption Service – thank goodness for quit-without-saving! –
they took a trip to the pet shelter and acquired two unfixed cats.
Jack Rackham is the calico and Figaro is the Japanese bobtail.

Yes, “Jack Rackham” is a male name, but virtually all calico
cats are female. And as it happens, I saw a very funny skit
involving well-known pirate Calico Jack Rackham immediately
before adopting the cats.

The cats get along quite well and were able to start on kittens
almost immediately.

This may have been a mistake.

You see, Samantha and Dante just got married. While
Samantha Littledragon becoming Samantha Miller is a happy
thing, I’m afraid that the kittens mean that there won’t be room
for a baby.

But I seem to be the only one worried about that. It was a roof-
raiser of a party.

The kind of party that exhausts young sisters-in-law long before
the guests go home.

The kind of party, in fact, where you have to throw out people
you’re not even sure you invited. Or, in Don’s case, thank them
for coming and ask them politely to leave.

Don is too Nice for his own good sometimes.

NIREL: Our daughter’s getting married, Harkon.
HARKON: I know. It makes you feel old, doesn’t it?
NIREL: It does. How did we get to be old men with a married
daughter already?
HARKON: And another daughter just about old enough to start
dating.
NIREL: (half groans, half laughs) Oh, don’t remind me! What
do you say – one more?
HARKON: I don’t know if I can handle another. Not with
kittens on the way, and probably a grandchild. Can we talk
about it in the morning?
NIREL: Of course. Hey, I can think of something to make you
not feel so old…

And speaking of cats…

Trixie and Tirtha have a new cat. I suppose the cat is
technically more Trixie’s than Tirtha’s, since she’s the one who
made friends with and adopted former stray Eika, but Tirtha
does her share of cleaning the litter box and playing cat teaser.

In fact, I had a whole sequence planned around the cat, since
nothing interesting had happened, when on the next to last day
of the rotation…

Abhijeet Phillips autonomously asked Tirtha on an Outing.

TIRTHA: Oh my Esme, Trixie! Abhijeet just called and asked
me on an outing! What do I do?
TRIXIE: Did you say you’d go?
TIRTHA: Yes.
TRIXIE: Then you call the taxi and go. It’s not rocket science.
TIRTHA: But shouldn’t I get all dressed up? Do my face
properly? Lose ten pounds?
TRIXIE: Are you crazy? How many other people will be
going?
TIRTHA: I don’t know. He said that he and some friends were
going down to Benevolent Grounds and did I want to come too?
TRIXIE: Then you call the taxi and go. Don’t make this harder
than it has to be.

It was a pleasant outing. Tirtha met a number of nice people,
and had an interesting conversation with Abhijeet about his past
lives.

TIRTHA: Really? You were hung by your ankles over a pit of
ravenous crocodiles?
ABHIJEET: And angry piranhas, yup. Completely ruined my
hair. (reflectively) That may have been the worst part, actually.
Being eaten by the crocodiles and piranhas was actually
something of a relief after that. Anyway, I kind of deserved it.
So you said you like flowers?

TIRTHA (V.O.): He gave me flowers.
TRIXIE (V.O.): That’s kind of carrying coals to Newcastle,
isn’t it?
TIRTHA (V.O.): But what does it mean?
TRIXIE (V.O.): That he’s not very bright? I mean, why else
would someone give flowers to an amateur florist?
TIRTHA (V.O.): No, but read the card!
TRIXIE (V.O.): “I should hang out with you more often!
Yesterday was really fun, so I brought you this. Let’s go out
again soon!” (thoughtfully) “Let’s go out again soon!” He wants
to date you.
TIRTHA (V.O.): He does not!
TRIXIE (V.O.): Yuh-huh. (sings teasingly) Tirtha’s got a
boyfriend! Tirtha’s got a boyfriend!

Trixie and Tirtha are both friends with Abhijeet at this point,
and so the very next night Trixie invited him over for dinner.

TIRTHA: Wait, Trixie – where are you going?
TRIXIE: Out.
TIRTHA: But Abhijeet’s here! Didn’t you invite him?
TRIXIE: Yeah. And now I’m giving you two time alone. Is that
a problem?
ABHIJEET: It’s not a problem for me, Trixie. I don’t mind
spending the evening with Tirtha – if it’s okay with her, of
course.
TIRTHA: Well, I –
TRIXIE: Good, that’s settled. Abhijeet, when I get back, there
better have been some kissing, okay?

Trixie’s night out had mixed results. She had a good time and
met interesting people. On the other hand, she didn’t meet a
single dead person, redheaded or otherwise.

On the other other hand, she did meet someone with an
interesting proposition…

LEONID ANDREWS: Excuse me, please. You are lady who
speaks Alien?
TRIXIE: Yes, I speak Alien. Why?
LEONID ANDREWS: Because I am wantink to learn Alien.
Do you give lessons?
TRIXIE: I hadn’t thought of it before, but yeah, I could give
lessons.
LEONID ANDREWS: Ah, good! Here – I am givink you my
phone number. You will call me and tell me how much you
charge, da?

Her other objective seemed to have been a bust as well.

TRIXIE: So was there any kissing?
TIRTHA (huffily): No. We had a very nice dinner is all. And I
really don’t see how it’s any of your business anyway.
TRIXIE: Tsk tsk tsk. Abhijeet, I expected better from you.
TIRTHA: I’m sorry about that.
ABHIJEET: No need to apologize. I had a very nice time in
spite of your roommate. It’s always pleasant to spend time with
you.
TIRTHA: I like spending time with you, too. Maybe we could
get together again and you could tell me more about your past
lives?
TRIXIE (calls from the kitchen): Less talking, more kissing!

TRIXIE: That’s more like it.

Over at the Couderc household, Sally is showing off her Nice
points.

SALLY (V.O.): I just wanted to look at the butterflies. I didn’t
want to keep them forever.
You’re talking to me?
SALLY (V.O.): Uh-huh. why wouldn’t I?
I don’t know. Other people who can talk to me don’t.
SALLY (V.O.): Well, then, they’re just mean.
So how’s it been going, Sally?

SALLY (V.O.) (enthusiastically): Oh, it’s going great! I made a
new friend. I knew we were going to be friends because she has
the same hairstyle as me.
That’s often a good indicator.
SALLY (V.O.): Uh-huh. We had a lot of fun.

SALLY (V.O.): Oh! I made friends with Rudy. I like to talk to
Rudy, but sometimes I have trouble.
Limited vocabulary?

SALLY (V.O.): No, Mommy likes to talk to him too. She talks
to him all the time. She says it’s for work, but I don’t
understand how it can be.
She probably needs a Charisma point or two.
SALLY (V.O.): What’s a Charisma point?
It’s a… um, you know, I’m not actually sure? But if you talk to
Rudy long enough, you’ll get one.
SALLY (V.O.): Oh, okay.

SALLY (V.O.): And I’ve been doing really well in school
‘cause Uncle Cillian helped me with my homework.
That was nice of him.
SALLY (V.O.): I wanted Oliver to help me, but he’s in college.
And Uncle Cillian says I’m like the daughter he never had.
Why didn’t he have a daughter?
Er, what has he said about that?
SALLY (V.O.): He always changes the subject. I said he could
have a baby with the telescope like Daddy did with me, but he
says he’s too old for that.

SALLY (V.O.): I don’t think he was too old before, but he is
now. He and Daddy Grew Up at the same time. And both of
them in the bathroom. Mommy was in there too, and me.
That must have been crowded.
SALLY (V.O.): It was. And I had to pee, but there were too
many people in there. So I had to go pee upstairs instead.
Thank goodness you have two bathrooms, huh?
SALLY (V.O.): Yup. Two bathrooms are the best. (yawns) I
have to go take a nap now. I’ll talk to you later, though, okay?
Okay. Sleep well, Sally.

And finally, we have a new addition to the official Already in
Progress family!

I’m sure you saw these two briefly in the college chapter, even
if you haven’t read either of their home stories. Since I couldn’t
decide whose home story to choose for them, I decided that
they would fit in here quite nicely. Please make them feel
welcome.

Buttercup Shankel is from Ruth’s (un)Officially Wacky
Boolprop Challenge, and was named after a character in a
Gilbert & Sullivan opera. That character sold small items that
made life more pleasant and had a big secret or two. This
Buttercup sells, ahem, “party supplies,” so we can probably
agree that she’s following in the original’s footsteps.

Albert (Adams) Shankel is from Everybody Loves Bertie, my
Polyamory Project Challenge. His father is the eponymous part-
alien rock star Bertram McClellan, and the distinguished
gentleman in the foreground is Bertie’s husband Corey. Bertie’s
long-term girlfriend and Albert’s mother, Vanessa, refused to
come to the wedding, since she is currently ticked off at both
Bertie and Corey.

This type of drama is precisely why Albert chose to become a
conservative, monogamous CPA specializing in taxes.

BUTTERCUP (warily): You’re not going to try to shove cake
at me, are you?
ALBERT: Of course not. Feeding you cake is symbolic of my
intention to take care of you. What kind of message would I be
sending if I shoved cake in your face?
BUTTERCUP: One that would probably lead to divorce.
ALBERT: Or annulment. Open wide.

It was a Roof-Raiser of a party, with everyone having a
fantastic time. But I’m sure the newlyweds would say that the
best part came after the party was over.

BUTTERCUP: Well, that was a great party. Too bad I didn’t
get to meet your mom…
ALBERT: Oh, it’s probably better this way. If she’s in one of
her moods again, she’d have probably demanded to see your
latest WTD workup results.
BUTTERCUP: My what?
ALBERT: Your latest woohoo transmitted disease workup.
We’re each supposed to get one of those before every woohoo,
you know.
BUTTERCUP: Are we now?
ALBERT: Uh-huh. (nuzzles Buttercup’s neck) And we’re
supposed to use at least two different kinds of protection every
single time.
BUTTERCUP: Oh. Should I go get…?
ALBERT: Nah.

Perhaps they really should have gone to get…

BUTTERCUP: Whoa! Albert, honey? Are there any tax
advantages to having a baby?
ALBERT: Unh. (yawns) Long ’s it’s born ’fore New Year’s.

The surprise is not humorously exaggerated in this case. Aside
from a fast-dropping Energy bar, Buttercup had no symptoms. I
was beginning to think I’d hallucinated the lullaby.

But since I apparently didn’t hallucinate anything, this is
probably as good a place as any to end this chapter. I’ll see you
next time, but until then: Happy Simming!

Already in Progress #37: Why Would Anybody Think That?

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Already in Progress #37: Why Would Anybody Think That?