Blaming presentation by Rabia Syed

BLAMING YOUR PROBLEMS ON
FAMILY AND SOCIETY DYSFUNCTIONAL
PREPARED BY: RABIA
SYED
MARKS OBTAINED: 27/30
01 hour presentation

PRESENTED BY
PRESENTED TO:
FACULTY IQRA UNIVERSITY ~ PSYCHOLOGY ~ MISS UZMA QAZI

CONTENTS
 DEFINITION OF BLAME
 SOCIETY DYSFUNCTIONAL
 REASONS (WHY DO WE BLAME FAMILY/PARENTS, SOCIETY)
 IMPORTANCE
 RESULT & COMPARISION (GRAPHS)
 SOLUTION
 WHY ARE WE NOT SELF-SATISFIED?
 CONCLUSION

WHAT IS BLAME?
“Blaming refers to feel or declare that (someone or something) is responsible for a fault or wrong” OR
“To assign the responsibility for a bad or unfortunate situation or phenomenon to (someone or something).”
PSYCHOLOGICAL TERM FOR BLAME:-
“Psychological projection” is a theory in which the human defends itself against unconscious impulses or
qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others.
DEFINITION OF BLAME

WHAT IS DYSFUNCTIONAL?
Dysfunctional means “impaired, abnormal functioning or unhealthy interpersonal interaction within a group.”
WHAT IS A SOCIETY DYSFUNCTIONAL?
Society dysfunctional is a situation in which there are people who disagrees with other people in terms of
different perspectives and opinion which may result as a conflict or an argument within them. This has a wide
influence on the behavior of an individual according to these surroundings.
SOCIETY DYSFUNCTIONAL

WHY DO WE BLAME FAMILY/PARENTS?
• Our parents have the unfortunate role of pointing out all the imperfections of life i.e. all the things
we can’t do, we have to do, we’re not good at, we have to endure, and so on.
• It is parents’ roll to point out you’re not capable to cross the road yet; it is their roll to tell you that
you aren’t that good at drawing or singing to pursue career in art.
• On the other hand, children have limited capability of critic reasoning. As a result, they often fail to
see logic behind parental words and actions, and jump to catastrophic conclusions. They
generalize, and draw negative conclusions about themselves based on even casual comments or
gestures. For instance, a child may interpret such thoughts ‘you never do anything right’, ‘you
are incompetent’, etc.
• They are often preoccupied with things happening to them to that extreme that they completely
ignore the fact that they are also the lead role in their children’s lives. They brush children off. ‘I
have more important issues to think about right now’; ‘Somebody’s got to put food on the
table in this house’, etc.
• So, it is in early age that we start to conclude things and get messages such as “you are
incompetent, you are not important, you are constantly in my way”, etc.

What is society?
You and me is society, including your system, your teacher, your mom, your friends, your relatives, etc. is society.
Now a days there is a trend to blame the society for any cause. When we feel labelled and stereotype we blame
society. Anytime we get hurt from something, we blame to society. Anytime we get misjudged we blame to
society. We blame to society when our social rights are not full-filled. There are some people who says that what
is wrong with judging some one and then leave people out of their social group due to anonymous reasons such
as appearance, style, etc. One should avoid these kind of negative influences within a society and generate
acceptance no matter how somebody is what somebody have, the competition and comparison among human
being is a big reason towards blaming and other negative aspects. Usually these people are those who have
conservative mind.
A quote says: "imperfections are what makes you perfect”
Definitely, being a human and a living sole no one can be 100% perfect or have all the pleasures of the world.
The basic things which matters for a good livelihood is happiness and acceptance over what you have. No matter
how much one is blessed with, where there is no happiness there is no livelihood.
WHY DO WE BLAME SOCIETY

IMPORTANCE
To blame someone is easy than to be responsible.
It can get us rid of a difficult situation.
Blaming is an excellent defense mechanism.
It can protect your ego.
Blaming can provide you
satisfaction.
When we regret blaming by the time, the person may not be there to ask for apology.
Our soul can never be at peace when we know that we did a bad deed by blaming.
Blaming tends to a tool we use when we are in attack mode.
Blaming is a way out when we are not brave
enough to accept flaws.
Whenever we blame
someone or something, we
lose our self esteem.

RESULT
Result of our survey (questionnaire) is shown in the graphs that what percentage of
males and females agree or disagree with the questions that are being raised upon
according to the topic. This shows how people in our society (basically youth) thinks
about this aspect and what are their opinions.

QUESTION# 01:-
We have a dysfunctional society because different people have different ideas on what it means for the world to be a good place.
0
5
10
15
20
25
question 1
sometime
agree
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 12 9
SOMETIMES 3 6
DISAGREE 0 0

QUESTION# 02:-
Parental blame for societal problems is mean, unhelpful, and inaccurate.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
question 2
sometime
agree
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 6 5
SOMETIMES 8 6
DISAGREE 1 4

QUESTION# 03:-
Whenever something goes wrong in our world (mostly with social rights and things pertaining to equality) we “blame society.”
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
18
question 3
sometime
agree
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 10 6
SOMETIMES 2 3
DISAGREE 3 6

QUESTION# 04:-
You always ends up blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction whenever something goes wrong.
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
question 4
sometime
agree
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 3 3
SOMETIMES 7 5
DISAGREE 5 7

QUESTION# 05:-
We blame media, blame racism, blame politics, and just blame until we can’t blame anymore. But everything we blame, we
indulge in.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
18
question 5
sometime
agree
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 4 8
SOMETIMES 10 7
DISAGREE 1 0

QUESTION# 06:-
You keep blaming your parents and holding them responsible for who you are now.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
question 6
sometime
agree
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 6 4
SOMETIMES 6 5
DISAGREE 3 6

QUESTION# 07:-
We are highly influenced to facts which our parents speak about society and other bad aspects.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
question 7
sometime
agree
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 9 6
SOMETIMES 5 6
DISAGREE 1 3

QUESTION# 08:-
We always judge a person and his attitude according to the family background.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
18
question 8
sometime
agree
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 8 9
SOMETIMES 3 6
DISAGREE 4 0

QUESTION# 09:-
Our behavior and attitude towards society is a reflection of what we learnt from our parents.
0
5
10
15
20
25
question 9
sometime
agree
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 10 12
SOMETIMES 3 2
DISAGREE 2 1

QUESTION# 10:-
You always feel a sense of competition provided by your parents according to how stable you are than other people in society.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
18
20
question 10
sometime
agree
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 10 9
SOMETIMES 5 4
DISAGREE 0 2

QUESTION# 11:-
Blaming is a cause of your parents limitations and restrictive messages.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
question 11
sometime
agree
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 5 4
SOMETIMES 4 7
DISAGREE 6 4

QUESTION# 12:-
Your self-esteem depends on the way your parents have treated you either in a way of ignorance or being over-protective.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
question 12
agree
sometimes
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 7 7
SOMETIMES 7 6
DISAGREE 1 2

QUESTION# 13:-
Everything in your parents' lives including their fears, personality, political biases, etc. is thrust upon you, willingly or not.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
question 13
agree
sometimes
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 8 7
SOMETIMES 6 5
DISAGREE 1 3

QUESTION# 14:-
We always taunt over bad aspects of our society and people surrounding us going through them because we learnt it from our
parents.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
QUESTION 14
agree
sometime
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 6 8
SOMETIMES 6 6
DISAGREE 3 1

QUESTION# 15:-
Our parents have led us to believe that a nine-to-five is good and anything different, unique or artistic is unacceptable and lazy.
Inventiveness is not supported and traditional norms are always correct.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
question 15
agree
sometime
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 7 4
SOMETIMES 4 10
DISAGREE 4 1

QUESTION# 16:-
You can't control your kid's preference of pizza over vegetables. Parents who let their kids drink soda and eat Lunchables and
consider it adequate are only teaching them bad eating habits that will stay with them through life.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
question 16
agree
disagree
sometime
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 7 3
SOMETIMES 7 7
DISAGREE 1 5

QUESTION# 17:-
Over-controlling or over-protective parents have good intentions, but many times, us children are left unable to cope without
them. They sheltered us too much and left us with a fear of the world and an aversion to being left alone that only inhibits us
from truly living our lives.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
question 17
agree
disagree
sometime
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 7 5
SOMETIMES 7 8
DISAGREE 1 2

QUESTION# 18:-
Many parents gave their kids everything, ignoring the fact that in the real world, they won't be able to buy everything they want.
They spoiled their children, the bad spending habits and inability to cope in the real world of credit cards and taxes are just the
sad effects of overindulgence.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
question 18
agree
sometime
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 10 5
SOMETIMES 3 7
DISAGREE 2 3

QUESTION# 19:-
Does abnormality of our society affects us?
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
18
question 19
agree
sometime
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 11 5
SOMETIMES 2 7
DISAGREE 2 3

QUESTION# 20:-
When someone makes fun of your personality do you start blaming your family for your personality building?
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
question 20
agree
sometime
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 3 4
SOMETIMES 5 3
DISAGREE 7 7

QUESTION# 21:-
During family discussion when you are ignored you start blaming for the ignorance?
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
question 21
agree
sometime
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 4 5
SOMETIMES 5 3
DISAGREE 6 7

QUESTION# 22:-
Getting low marks in exams students start blaming their teacher.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
question 22
agree
disagree
sometime
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 6 5
SOMETIMES 7 8
DISAGREE 2 2

QUESTION# 23:-
Do parents keep different hopes & standards for their sons and daughters?
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
QUESTION 23
agree
sometime
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 9 4
SOMETIMES 4 9
DISAGREE 2 2

QUESTION# 24:-
Comparison between one’s grades to others grades by parents’ causes you to blame them.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
question 24
agree
sometime
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 5 4
SOMETIMES 5 4
DISAGREE 5 7

QUESTION# 25:-
Do you blame your parents for your psychological problems?
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
18
20
question 25
agree
sometime
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 6 2
SOMETIMES 2 2
DISAGREE 7 11

QUESTION# 26:-
We live in a society according to cultural, logical, traditional norms and rules. Can we claim that we have free will?
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
question 26
agree
sometime
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 6 5
SOMETIMES 6 8
DISAGREE 3 2

QUESTION# 27:-
Suppressing your feelings leads blaming to society and is a cause of your personality destruction.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
18
question 27
agree
sometime
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 6 5
SOMETIMES 7 9
DISAGREE 2 1

QUESTION# 28:-
Generation gap between you and your parents makes you hesitate in expressing your feelings in front of your parents?
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
question 28
agree
disagree
sometime
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 5 5
SOMETIMES 9 5
DISAGREE 1 5

QUESTION# 29:-
Not being independent and restricted upon things by parents frustrates you?
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
question 29
agree
disagree
sometime
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 10 5
SOMETIMES 4 6
DISAGREE 1 4

QUESTION# 30:-
Different opinions of different political parties are a cause of dysfunctional society.
0
2
4
6
8
10
12
14
16
18
question 30
agree
sometime
disagree
BOYS GIRLS
AGREE 11 6
SOMETIMES 2 6
DISAGREE 2 3

SOLUTION
 Should you blame your parents/family?
 No.
 Should you blame yourself instead?
 No.
You see, it’s not about placing blame; it’s about releasing yourself from the shackles of those core beliefs that don’t
serve you. Placing blame won’t do that, but it might and often does give you an excuse not to make an effort to
change. There can be a number of solutions to prevent the blame-game or blaming dysfunctional. If parents treat
their children in a way that children feel a good sense of care and attention as well as they listen to them and help
them solving their problems and issues rather screaming or loosing their temper. This would instead irritate the
child and cause a bad behavior if parents do not support the child or insults in public. Other than this, one can go
for a psychological therapy and adopt ways recommended by the psychologist to make life better.

We are not self-satisfied because we are likely to be dependent i.e. on our
parents and our society. We want them to give us all that we need or desire to
have rather working hard to be independent and making our own choices in our
own way. When we expect our society or parents to do this for us than definitely
they do it their way according to their scope and level which doesn’t match our
requirements and our level. So if we make choices of our own and stop being
dependent on others to feed us with everything then it could lead us to way of
self-satisfaction otherwise we keep expecting everything from others without
them being fulfilled.

CONCLUSION
ITS ALWAYS EASY TO BLAME OTHERS YOU CAN SPEND YOUR ENTIRE LIFE BLAMING THE WORLD BUT YOUR
SUCCESSES & FAILURES ARE ENTIRELY YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY. THOSE WHO SPEND THEIR TIME
LOOKING FOR THE FAULTS IN OTHERS, USUALLY SPEND NO TIME TO CORRECT THEIR OWN. NOBODY IS
DEFEATED UNTIL HE STARTS BLAMING SOMEBODY ELSE, ONE SHOULD RATHER FIX THE PROBLEM THAN TO
FIX THE BLAME. BLAMING SHOWS BAD ATTITUDE & BAD BEHAVIOR. A BAD ATTITUDE CAN LITERALLY
BLOCK LOVE, BLESSINGS & DESTINY FROM FINDING YOU SO DON’T BE THE REASON FOR YOUR OWN
FAILURES NEITHER BLAME ANYBODY FOR THEM. THE BEST AND SUCCESSFUL WAY TO LIVE YOUR LIFE IS
TO ACCEPT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY OVER EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE WITH CONFIDENCE AND WITHOUT
HESITATION. AFTER ALL, EVERY HUMAN BEING HAVE BOTH NEGATIVE & POSITIVE SIDES, NOBODY CAN
BE A PURE SOUL. ONE SHOULD KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR PERSONALITY AND ITS ASPECTS IN ORDER
TO DEAL & LIVE WITH THE WORLD SUCCESSFULLY.

Blaming presentation by Rabia Syed

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