![4
HUMOUR
32 Country Ireland Discovered in Egyptian Tomb
Woman Judges Others for Not Buying into Lifestyle
She Found Last Week
by Dusty Rhodes
by Lauren Mulvihill
HEADLINES
TV LISTINGS
Weather: If it looks too
good to be true, it is
UCC: “Get rid of USI”,
say students who didn’t
get sweets from SU
candidates
Science: Researchers
seek to explain why
it feels like a Tuesday
even though it’s, like,
Wednesday
Ireland: Man (43)
formally complains
about service in
restaurant, mortifies
nation
Crime: Figure spotted
wearing socks with
sandals
World: “Sounds like
something the Zodiac
Killer would say”, say
public as Ted Cruz
denies being Zodiac
Killer
RTÉ One, Tuesday @
8.30PM: Documentary
on the death of Arthur
Griffith.
RTÉ One, Tuesday @
9PM: Documentary on
the death of Michael
Collins. Occurring
slightly later, but will
probably get more
attention.
History was made last week in Cairo, Egypt, where the
long-standing dream of Republicans all around the
island finally came true.
While on a diplomatic mission to the northern African
state, a prominent politician stumbled upon the long-
lost 6 counties of Ulster. The discovery was made
following a series of daring capers and escapades
deemed too exciting for Dáil records; however, this
publication was able to get exclusive rights to the story.
It all began when an intern discovered a map on
the back of the 1916 Proclamation. Though this was
initially thought to be a way for Bertie Ahern to find
his way home from the Dáil bar after getting drunk off
his tits on Bass, and then a map to Dev’s gold, these
theories were disproven when it became clear that it
led out of Ireland.
The first stumbling block came when the hot air
balloon carrying our brave adventurer crashed over
London, landing him in the middle of Buckingham
Palace. Having been seduced by sultry vixen Queen
Elizabeth II, he fled to France on the back of a charity
Channel swimmer. From there, getting to Egypt was
easy, having solved the Israel-Palestine conflict on the
way.Thesecondstumblingblockhappenedwhen,faced
with a group of assassins, our fearless hero discovered
his armalite had been stolen, and was forced to defeat
them all with nothing
but a ballot box...and
another armalite he had
hidden in the ballot box.
Nothing would now
stand between him and
his prize hidden within the temple of the god Imhotep
Ra - or so he had thought.
Our hero moved closer and closer to the end of the
Proclamation’s map, deeper and deeper into the
Imhotep Ra temple. As he moved up the passageway
of Ra, he heard voices in the distance; dismissing it, he
continued until he reached the throne-room, in which
stood a great golden box. Cracking open the lid, he
found the barrel of the gun placed upon his temple, and
dread washed over him: his lover, Queen Elizabeth II,
had betrayed him after their tryst, making a copy of the
map. They knocked our adventurer out, and opened
the box, only to have their faces melted brutally off.
Following this ordeal, after discovering the bodies of
his enemies and realising there would be no need for
him if the 6 counties were recovered, our hero left the
Imhotep Ra temple and returned home empty-handed.
Speaking at a recent public press conference, Mr.Adams
claimed that he had never been in the IRA and that he
still believes a 32 county Ireland is something to aspire
to.
A student of University College Cork has been spotted
actively judging others for not buying into the lifestyle
she adopted about a week ago, according to reports.
Anna McGinty, who is studying Philosophy
and Religions in UCC, claims that her newfound way
of living has “like, totally changed [her]”.
“Honestly, I can’t even remember what life used to be
like before I discovered Blablaism. I mean, I feel so,
like, connected to the earth.”
Blablaism, a neo-spiritual movement which is
probably described by practitioners as ‘Eastern’ and is
almost definitely culturally insensitive, has emerged in
recent weeks following the publication of a bestselling
book of the same name by Ima Conn, Ph.Value. The
belief system and accompanying lifestyle require
proponents such as Ms. McGinn to follow a complex
set of rules, making them better than you in the
process, apparently.
“Like, I’m not trying to judge people who don’t follow
this lifestyle,” Anna explains. “All I’m saying is, if you
don’t follow it, you’re probably a piece of shit. But
that’s OK.”
Ms McGinn’s blog, EatPrayBla.com, has
attracted a sizeable audience since its launch last
Thursday.
As well as
marketing it
as a platform
to help people
understand Blablaism, Anna encourages her followers
to “find their inner selves” through travel and a strict
quinoa-only diet. Anyone, according to Anna, can
live according to the principles of Blablaism if they try
hard enough.
“Like, if you really want to improve yourself, travel,”
she writes. “I’ve had some whiny poor people
complain about ‘not having the money’, and if you’re
that selfish, frankly, you don’t belong on this website.
I mean, I love everybody, but if you can’t even forsake
something as non-essential as food or shelter in order
to improve yourself and, therefore, humankind, you’re
literally the worst person I know.”
According to a recent survey, Anna has
single-handedly converted 7 people to Blablaism, the
majority of whom are residents of Co. Waterford,
Ireland, who mistook EatPrayBla.com for a fansite of
the Déise delicacy, the blaa. She continues to advocate
for peace, love, and for everyone to do what she’s been
saying since last week or they’re actual and literal piles
of faeces who are actively destroying the earth.](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ccea6050-133d-475e-a735-c042a101e24a-160406081125/85/Byline-Issue-11PrintFINAL-4-320.jpg)
![5
HUMOUREDITOR - LAUREN MULVIHILL
Former Politician ‘Not At All Bitter’ About Losing Seat
Long Story Short
by Lauren Mulvihill
by Katie Myers
Peadar Lynch, former TD for Cork South Central,
released a statement this week assuring the public
that he is not at all bitter about not retaining his
seat in the recent general election.
Mr. Lynch, who had previously served
two consecutive terms in the Dáil, was spotted
screaming profanities at the posters of newly
elected TDs following the final count for his
constituency. Despite several eyewitnesses
disagreeing, Lynch has assured the people of
Cork that it was “all just a bit of fun, a bit of
banter”.
“I completely respect the decision of the voters,”
he added while speaking to members of the press
outside his home in Douglas. “I mean, I call them
‘voters’, because they did vote for someone, I’m
sure. It just wasn’t me. But, whatever. They can
throw their vote away if they want. The point is,
that I am in no way bitter about any of this.”
According to reports, Lynch has had a
history of “petty behaviour”. It is believed that
the Fine Gael TD experienced a drop in support
immediately after the last election, when he
took to the streets of Cork to throw bread and
“honking” at known Fianna Fáil supporters.
When asked to defend his actions, Lynch was
quoted as saying “you people are always on my
case, I swear to God. What’s wrong with a bit of
political intimidation, like? Leave me alone?”
Peadar Lynch was last seen cutting the
heads of elected TDs from photographs in local
newspapers and gluing them to a dartboard.
According to sources, neighbours have taken to
avoiding Mr. Lynch’s home out of fear of ridicule.
“I was cycling home from school and he shouted,
‘even if you were old enough you wouldn’t have
fucking voted for me either!’ at me from his
kitchen window,” Linda Kennedy, a nine-year-
old schoolchild, claims.
In a statement to local media outlets,
Lynch continues to assert that he is “not at all
bitter about the obvious stupidity of voters in
[his] constituency”.
“Look, as I’ve said before, what’s done is done.
The people of Cork West Central have spoken,
and I suppose we’ll all just have to live with it at
this stage,” he said, adding, “I mean, once upon a
time, if people wanted an opinion, I’d give them
one. But they’re entitled to their own wrong
opinions, I suppose. That’s their right. I can’t say
I’d agree with it, but off with them if they want
to ruin the country. Anyway, as I said, there is
no bitterness on my part towards them or those
other muppets they went and elected.”
Dáil Éireann has since upped security
following reports that Mr. Lynch may attempt to
egg the premises in the coming days.
The predicament of being vertically challenged
is one that I tackle daily. You could say that tall
people can be high and mighty. When you’re
labelled “adorable” by people that you barely, you
know that you’re small. It’s a fact I have grown
(because every other form of growth is out of
bounds for me apparently) used to over the years.
Although I like the description, it does come with
its own challenges.
One thing I’ve learned over the years is that tall
people are both a blessing and a curse when
you’re 5ft 3 and have the upper body strength of
a pillow. Some will get things from high selves
down for you. Others will put things on those
high shelves so you have to hop like a frog for
three hours if you want to get them. They’ll
cackle loudly as you try to climb to that top shelf
where Penneys stores their best stuff, but they’ll
catch you if you fall (sometimes). People will use
you as a ruler because five of you equals one of
your boyfriend. That silence when people make
conversation by marvelling at how big you’ve
grown when you obviously haven’t is something
to be treasured.
It’s not until you stand for a concert that you
realise how Simba felt in that buffalo stampede
(too soon?). People who want to capture the
moment on their giant phones knock you out
with their elbows as you get swallowed up by
the crowd. Of course, if you want to go to a bar,
you must bring a token tall person with you to
either elbow people for you, or to use as a club
by grabbing them by the ankles. When you get
out of this wave of swaying people (the only
time crowd surfing is crucial), you need to get
some mode of transportation home, where I am
personally at a height which facilitates accidental
boob-elbow contact.
What brings me joy in life is the fact that I can
bring joy to people who are average height.
When you hear the high-pitched squeals usually
reserved for puppies because your feet dangle off
the edge the seat. When a person is waiting in a
line next to you in the bathroom and whispers to
her friend ‘I feel tall’ – followed by ‘now I don’t’
as you leave. Those little moments that brighten
up your day.
In short, despite these setbacks, at least if there’s
an apocalypse I will be able to hide comfortably
in a sock drawer, unlike other people.](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ccea6050-133d-475e-a735-c042a101e24a-160406081125/85/Byline-Issue-11PrintFINAL-5-320.jpg)
![7
GAMINGEDITOR - AOIFE GLEESON
Marvel Should Be Making Better Games
By Kieran Collins
Everyone remembers the days, not too long ago, when every action- or
animated-movie had a licensed game to go along with it. Most of them
were pretty terrible, but a fair number of them were actually good. Games
like Shrek 2, Ratatouille, and countless James Bond games were all brilliant.
The idea of making these games was that a consumer, after enjoying the
movie, would see the game and pick it up. In most cases these games were
shameless cash grabs, and eventually the public realized how poor quality
they were and stopped buying. Lower profits made companies lose interest
in funding these games, so aside from the occasional Pixar tie-in, those
games are no longer put on shelves.
“Characters like Vision and Ant-Man, who
were once niche characters, are now just
as known as Hulk or Captain America”
Fast-forwardtotoday’sworld;Marvelhasoneofthebiggestmoviefranchises
of all time with the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Every year, they release
several movies, from iconic to obscure heroes. Characters like Vision and
Ant-Man, who were once niche characters, are now just as known as Hulk
or Captain America. In addition, there’s also the X-Men movies, which are
owned by Fox, but still too big, both financially and critically, to ignore. So,
with all this success on the big screen, it begs the question: what is Marvel
Games up to?
“What is Marvel Games up to? ...The
answer is decidedly disappointing”
The answer is decidedly disappointing. The vast majority of games that
Marvel have created recently are mobile. They hit all the marks, including
an endless runner with Spider-Man; a puzzle game; a touch-based fighter;
and a pinball game, among others. While most of their work is mobile,
they do make other games. Lego Marvel Super Heroes and Disney Infinity:
Marvel Super Heroes both strongly contain Marvel properties, but, at the
same time, both are clearly advertised to children. Sure, they’re fun for
everyone who is open enough, but they don’t offer the same experience that
a game for older audiences would. If you’re an MMO fan and have a PC,
there is Marvel Heroes, but again, that’s a “free-to-play” game that contains
micro-transactions.
“Obviously, the company is looking at
quick money with minimal work”
MarvelGames’mentalityisbestseenintheirrecentre-releaseofHighMoon
Studios’ Deadpool game. They didn’t upgrade the graphics or remaster
it in any way, they just straight-up ported it. Obviously, the company is
looking at quick money with minimal work. They’re not looking to make
another Marvel vs. Capcom or Marvel: Ultimate Alliance, and that’s really
unfortunate. With all the newfound popularity of many formerly infamous
characters, the possibilities for the kind of experiences they could create are
endless. Instead, they make “free” apps with micro transactions. Ultimately,
this is very disappointing. I’d love, personally, a new story-based fighting
game using Marvel’s intellectual property.
“...[they] pushed the boundaries of what
could be done with a licensed property”
Take a look at what Warner Bros. has done with the DC Universe. They
helped Rocksteady make four critically acclaimed Batman games with the
Arkham Games. These games pushed the boundaries of what could be
done with a licensed property. The same goes for Injustice: Gods Among
Us, which was made by NetherRealm Studios, the people who made Mortal
Kombat! If this kind of work can be done with DC, who so far haven’t had
much success in the movie industry, imagine what different studios could
do with the current lineup of Marvel characters. I’d love to fly around an
open world as Iron Man or travel the Marvel galaxy as Star-Lord. With so
many popular franchises, it’s such a head-scratcher why Marvel wouldn’t
think to make something with some more density than a mobile game.
“No word has been heard since then
about the deal, and based on its more
recently announced Batman game, it seems
probable that it has fallen through”
It was announced awhile back that Telltale Games, the makers of games
like Tales From the Borderlands and The Walking Dead, would be making
Marvel Cinematic Universe games in 2017. No word has been heard since
then about the deal, and based on its more recently announced Batman
game, it seems probable that it has fallen through. Back in 2014, Capcom,
the makers of the Marvel vs. Capcom games, reported that their contract
with Marvel had expired, meaning that not only could they not make a
new Marvel vs. Capcom game, but they couldn’t even update Ultimate
Marvel vs. Capcom 3. Activision had to recall all of their Marvel-licensed
games from store shelves in 2014 upon the expiration of their contract. It’s
certainly more than clear what Marvel Games’ intentions are at this point,
but it’s also very hard to watch them go down this path with many iconic
and beloved characters held hostage.](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ccea6050-133d-475e-a735-c042a101e24a-160406081125/85/Byline-Issue-11PrintFINAL-7-320.jpg)
![11
INTERVIEW
y’know. That would be the reason I started playing
drums. And then the kind of styles that I base myself
on when I’m making beats and putting rhythm to
songs would be mainly hip-hop. A lot of hip-hop.
That’s my stock beat that I would go to. Kind of glitchy,
offbeat stuff. What I find myself doing a lot of the time
because I the fact that I’m just drumming in the band
andIwouldn’tbecontributingmelodically,contributes
a lot to the arrangement of the songs. In that way, if
Jack has the main guitar line and I’m drumming over
it, or Steve has the bass line and I’m drumming over
it, I have in my head a kind of song that I’m like, OK,
this is what I want to put my own spin on. It would be
a lot of Brian Jonestown Massacre, a lot of how I’d try
to arrange my songs - a lot of our songs use the same.
One thing, really, is trying to make instrumental
hooks as opposed to catchy lines. As in, for a chorus,
having a guitar line as opposed to a vocal hook to be
repeated. That sort of thing.
Mark: Like, what Mark was saying about his taking
a lot of influences from hip-hop drums, it actually
works well in terms of the rhythm section. My biggest
influences, as well, aside from the post-punk would
be like James Jameson, who played bass for the Funk
Brothers - old-town kind of stuff. The thing that we
really lock in is, like, the actual groove bit. So, you
take his hip-hop drums, which I suppose are mostly
sampled from the funk and soul records back in the
day.
Jack: Exactly, yeah.
Mark: And it’s kind of, like, I’d take a lot of influence
from the soul records, properly getting into the groove
- little bits here and there. Which I think changed the
dynamic and makes our music a bit more - not that
we’re aiming to make it ‘accessible’, because that’s not
the point of what we’re trying to do - but, I think, it
shows from our gigs that we’ve played that people
who wouldn’t normally be into the music that we’ve
been influenced from - they wouldn’t be listening
to My Bloody Valentine, they wouldn’t be listening
to Joy Division and Brain Jonestown Massacre - but
they would still be able to dance along to it. I think
that comes from the fact that it’s kind of set on the
foundation of - I wouldn’t say a funky rhythm section,
but something along those lines. You know what I
mean?
BY: It’s like people who wouldn’t know your influences
or get them would enjoy it like people who do know
your influences.
[All]: Exactly that.
Jack:Having a syncopated rhythm section as well gives
Jack a lot of space, then, a lot of room to maneuver.
Mark: Jack would be quite a rhythmic guitar player as
well; there would be a lot more rhythm than just really
intricate riffs and stuff like that.
Jack: There’s a certain pop sensibility to the fact that
we don’t make - it’s not just noise, it’s kind of, there is
a structure, there is a dynamic to all the stuff we make.
Mark: Regardless of the lack of lyrics, we supplement
that-
Jack: We kind of, like, take a lot from the classic
writing style of the soft-loud dynamic of Nirvana, the
Pixies and stuff. It’ll be soft and less instrumentation,
maybe, just drums and bass and keys, or maybe a
small guitar line, but when the choruses come in we
beef it up with big guitars and stuff.
BY: Your own origin stories when it comes to music
- I know Steve was in bands before, but yourselves -
where did ye come from and how did this band come
together?
Steve: Well, me personally, anyway, I picked up the
drumswhenIwasinsecondyear.Iplayed[percussion]
for the trad group in school. Then I got more into the
drum sets and stuff like that; I got my own drum set
and was playing on my own for a while. Then I got
into noise rock, a post-apocalyptic music band called
South of Impact. That was a massive influence for me,
because I was very much a beginner drummer, but I
straight away thrown into the deep end of having to
learn crazy… it was a lot of hardcore punk stuff. Crazy
fast rhythms, crazy fast beats, stuff like that. Really
disjointed layouts to songs that I just didn’t have a clue
about by bands that I had never even heard of. That
gave me a good foundation. And then, that band kind
of fizzled out. I was then in a blues rock two-piece band
that I was co-writing for, and that was more for fun
more than anything. Once that went down the tube a
bit, once all our separate band endeavours had fizzled
out, Jack and myself were living together, and we
started off messing around because we had the same
taste in music and we were always talking about being
in a band, so we were jamming together just because
I had my drum set there, so we’d be messing around
and stuff. And then it was just a natural progression,
really; it was just the fact that Steve plays bass and did
the same music as us and back then, we were good
friends and it was like a no-brainer, really. We should
give it a go.
Jack: Because, like, the two of ye had started making
some stuff together and I didn’t know that at the time,
and I went up to the lads and went “do you want to
start something?” and they were like -
Mark: “Oh we actually have two or three ideas”.
Jack: -They had already started so it just came together
quite naturally. Basically, the lads had been doing stuff
and then I was like, “what do you think about getting
a band together?” and they were like -
Steve: Come for the session, stay for the music.
BY: That ties into what I was about to ask ye: when
you think of musical movements, particularly in
Ireland and the UK, there’s always a place you can tie
it to - say with Northern Irish punk, the Undertones,
the Kazbah - even with, again, the Beatles, there’s the
Cavern. Even in Ireland in the 80s in Cork, there was
the Ark, there was Sir Henry’s. Is there a place like that
in Cork today? I’m going to say the answer is ‘no’.
Steve: Unfortunately not.
Mark: There is bands! There is bands. Stuff is there,
definitely. There’s definitely a scene.
Jack: For a while, back a few years ago, the Pav was on
its way to being the second Sir Henry’s. It was run by
people who were young, and they were booking the
acts that people wanted to see.
Steve: But also accommodating local bands.
Jack: Yeah, they did. A lot of young bands got to play
there, but I think that got cut short when they got shut
down. At the moment, there really isn’t a place where
people will flock to every single weekend.
Steve: I think there is a potential for somewhere like
that….
Mark: People want there to be a scene here, they want
there to be a place for people to go.
BY: Even going back, Irish bands, say even Taste or
Rory Gallagher, the idea that Ireland is dead - you
have to go to the UK, you have to go to America or
even Germany to get something. Do you think that
that’s true for Cork and for Ireland?
Steve: I think we’re coming full circle, because there’s
great bands out there at the moment.
Jack: You can play as many gigs as you want in Ireland,
but you’re still not going to get that widespread
acclaim. Like, until you play a gig in the UK. It’s
always been the way down through the years. You
play in mainland Europe or in the UK. If you get well-
received, then you have made it in the sense that your
band is receivable.
Mark: But I think, y’know, if you’re an up-and-
coming band in England it’s going to be until you play
Germany or until you play Ireland.
Steve: If you’re in Norwich, you’re like, oh, I need to
play in London.
Jack: There’s always that place where you have to go.
Gigs & Dates: -16th April, Cyprus Avenue (Cork). Tickets: €10
-12th May, Brewery Corner (Kilkenny)
-13th May, The Thirsty Scholar (Waterford)
-14th May, Crane Lane (Cork)
-15th May, The Workman’s Club (Dublin)](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ccea6050-133d-475e-a735-c042a101e24a-160406081125/85/Byline-Issue-11PrintFINAL-11-320.jpg)
![12
INTERVIEW(cont.)
with...The Sunshine Factory
Steve: If you look back at the bands that Cork’s
produced, even the wave that had, like, the Frank and
Walters… and Elastic Sleep and stuff like that, there’s
a potential for this to be the next wave.We’ll be good
buddies across the board as well, that’s quite good
- there’s absolutely no hostility there at all. I think
there’s quite a bit of healthy competition.
Jack: It’s very similar to the wave that had happened
before; they all knew each other, it’s all the same circle,
and I think that may be easier to create a bit of a scene.
I think that’s what we’re trying to do now.
Mark: Like, Damsel and… ourselves would make
completely different music, but you mightn’t put them
on the same bill, but it’s just the fact that they’re all up-
and-coming bands and doing unique things.
Steve: Everyone wants to properly go for it and do it
right.
Jack: The mould was broken, because I read an article
about it on the Irish Times recently enough basically
talking about how there’s a spotlight on Cork after
these bands…. And seeing them walk around town
and going, “oh that’s the lead singer of whatever”, even
having that in your head - whereas for years, you’d be
listening to countless bands from America or the UK
and they’re these kind of, like, deities.
Steve: With punk, you weren’t looking at Ziggy
Stardust, and I love David Bowie, but you were looking
at fucking Johnny Rotten, some fucking shithead from
down the road, which makes it a good influence in
terms of what actually can be done. People from Cork
who make music that they believe in can actually go
on and do something.
BY: So what is the five-year plan? What is the goal for
the future?
Steve: First on the agenda is to continue writing,
keep making music that we
Mark00% believe in. That would
be the main goal. Actually
doing some recording in the
summertime with a guy called
Aidan McGovern, the sound
engineer for Cranberries’ album
Everybody Else is Doing It So
Why Can’t We.
Jack: We always talk about
what we want to do, but we’ve
only been a band for a year.
A lot of bands don’t get these
opportunities for a long, long
time.
Mark: We are incredibly ahead
of schedule, to be honest. What
we had planned to do was that
we wanted to, because we were
being realistic in planning,
hopefully, by May, get a gig in
Dublin. That has gone to having a
sellout gig in February to having
a gig in April, and a four-day tour. If I was still trying
to plan realistically for me personally, and I’m sure
it goes across the board, over the five years I would
hope to have played the majority of Irish festivals at
least and definitely some gigs abroad; have some more
solid, physical recording done.
Jack: We’ll hopefully, over the five years, find a form
of harmony with the sound, so that we won’t be
constantly trying out different genres - that we will be
known as an identifiable band.
Mark: We are on the cusp of creating something
different.
Steve: I’d also like for it to be a bit of a knock-on
effect…. I would like to see a couple more bands come
up along the way. That would be great. I’d love to open
up things a small bit for Cork bands.
BY: This is a question we ask every ‘up-and-comer’ we
interview, last time it was Hozier back when he was
just making demos in an attic...
In a year, where do you see yourselves?
Jack: We’re not chasing fame or fortune, really. We
always said that if we could live comfortably off
making music, then that’d be good. For me, my biggest
thing was if I ever saw an album by us on vinyl, I’ll be
happy at the end of the day. In a year, I’d love to get
signed to something - not, like, a major label.
Mark: Personally, I don’t think a year is actually that
long a time. If you had told me a year ago when we
started that we would be going on a four-day Irish
tour with the Telescopes, I would have told you to shut
up. Not in a negative way, but I always dream a bit
lower. In a year’s time, I’d like to have played a good
few Irish festivals, and I’d like to have, maybe, some
sort of official release. That would be the main thing,
really, for me. And I’d like to be critically acclaimed.
Jack: Get a facility, or somewhere that can facilitate us
to make music.
Steve: My dream, overall, would be to actually make
a living out of making music, and music that I fully
believe in. And the best part about it is making music
with my fucking friends.
BY: “Sunshine Factory” seems like a familiar term.
Where did the name actually come from?
Jack: For yourself, the unadulterated version is that
there was a band in America called Sunshine Factory
that came across, and they had a really cool name.
Mark: That’s not how you came up with the name,
though. You didn’t see that name and be like “oh, we’ll
steal that”. You came up to me when we were -
Jack: Oh, I’m just telling you that there is a band.
Mark: We were goosed, and Jack came up to me,
and we hadn’t figured out a name for the band yet.
Basically, yeah, Jack had a bit of a brainwave, and he
came up to me - we were on a night out - and he was
like, “I have a name for the band”. We hadn’t come up
with one yet, we hadn’t even suggested one properly.
So, I was a bit excited and he said “the Sunshine
Factory”, and just then, we knew it. That was definitely
the name. As in, it works on a lot of different levels.
Steve: It was a bit of a slow burner for me. When I
first heard it, I wasn’t too sure, but then it hit me like
a tonne of bricks. It made sense. [Like] Joy Division…
a lovely, it sounds like a fucking boyband name, and
then they just have this kind of fucking obscene music.
Mark: I think it’s a nice play, because it’s sunshine,
but then it’s factory - it’s artificial, so there is a kind of
menacing undertone…. It’s funny because of the state
that we were in when Jack proposed the idea was that,
like, it’s fake happiness, like “sunshine factory”. Being
that way, being that goosed - it’s fake happiness.
Jack: Our music is dark, but at the same time - it’s dark
in places, but there’s little speckles of light and hope in
a lot of the songs. It’s going good so far.
The Sunshine Factory would like to thank, among
others: CSN, the Southern Hospitality Board, Daniel
O’Sullivan, Eoghan McDermott, the staff of Plugd,
Kieran Hurley & everyone in UCC98.3fm and
probably a lot more people, but this interview went
over an hour & our dictaphone isn’t great.
To hear more from the Sunshine Factory you
can check out their songs on their SoundCloud
(http://bit.ly/SunsFact), their Facebook page
(FB.com/TheSunshineFactoryBand) and their live-
gigs on the following dates:
-16th April, Cyprus Avenue (Cork). Tickets: €10
-12th May, Brewery Corner (Kilkenny)
-13th May, The Thirsty Scholar (Waterford)
-14th May, Crane Lane (Cork)
-15th May, The Workman’s Club (Dublin)](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ccea6050-133d-475e-a735-c042a101e24a-160406081125/85/Byline-Issue-11PrintFINAL-12-320.jpg)
Byline Issue 11PrintFINAL
- 2. 2 Editor: Lauren Mulvihill Designer: Robert O’Sullivan Film & TV Editor: Olivia Brown Music Editor: Holly Cooney Arts & Lit Editor: Colm Furlong Gaming Editor: Aoife Gleeson Fiction Editor: Austin Dowling Editor in Exile: Xander Cosgrave BYLINE EDITORIAL STAFF The last time I checked, there were seven tangerines in my fridge. I’ve been keeping track. Last Sunday, for reasons unknown, I bought twenty of them in Tesco. At the time, I thought I was making a great decision: why would I not need twenty baby oranges? I’ve been powering through them ever since. There is so much vitamin C in my system that I think I might be turning into a citrus fruit. I’m eating a tangerine as I write. This is how I came to spend half an hour looking up “fun ways to peel an orange” on the Internet. Once you start doing something too regularly, it just becomes monotonous. I needed a bit of spice in my life. This, apparently, is also true for a number of other people, because Google came up with a good 5,920,000 “fun” ways of peeling an orange. These included cutting it into a humanoid shape, and some sort of new-age trick for separating the segments as you peel. The future is now. My point is, there’s more than one way to peel an orange - which is a nicer metaphor than that one about skinning cats. It seems as though stress levels have risen as we’ve gotten deeper into semester two, and I reckon we all need reminding that it’s not the end of the world if things start to go wrong; there’s always another way of doing things. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again, and all that. There is no ‘right way’ of living your life, if you ask me, and that goes for our academic lives, too. That metaphor is also a nice way of getting me off the hook if this editorial goes tits up, since I haven’t been the one writing them all year. There’s no need to worry though; this issue of Byline is just as good as the ones we’ve been producing since way back in September - which is to say, pretty dang good. I should know: I’m biased. But whether you’re looking for your next story to read, film to watch, or festival to go to (in Europe, and all! Jaysus), you’ve come to the right place. Also, St. Patrick’s Day is this Thursday, so remember to wear green. If you can’t wear green, feel the green. Be the green. And, more importantly, mind yourself! ...Xander Looks Awfully Different... #SackedZander What’s Inside... Headlines of Byline: FILM & TV MUSIC ARTS & LIT GAMING HUMOUR INTERVIEW “We preview the top music festivals for the summer across all of Europe & talk about Sing Street: the next great musical film from the director of Once” “Colm Furlong continues his long-running ‘On Writing’ series, reviews the latest podcast offering from the minds behind ‘Welcome to Nightvale’ and an anonymous contributor talks about magic” “Aoife Gleeson talks about the good & bad of Uncharted 4’s multiplayer, Brian Conmy talks about the trash stories you see in games & Kieran Collins wonders why Marvel don’t make good games” “Dusty Rhodes brings us an exclusive story on the eve of the 1916 centennary, Katie Myers tells us what life as a short person is like and a former TD is not that bothered about losing their seat...totes” “BYLINE interviews the next big band to come out of the Cork student scene, THE SUNSHINE FACTORY. Our designer sat down with Jack Horgan, Steven Flynn and Mark Waldron-Hyden from the group” “Film & Television Editor Olivia looks at upcoming Irish films, UCC Express Editor Brian Conmy talks about the tonal pendulum in House of Cards and Tadgh Coakley reviews the latest Coen Bros. offering”
- 3. 3 FICTION EDITOR - AUSTIN DOWLING Ubermench by Sean Flynn It was during baby Adam’s christening that his mother realised. He was lifted from the pram, sleepy and irritated, and handed over to his new and devout godparents, Tim and Angie. His temper had been edgy that day, said Gaia, his dim mother; he would not even breastfeed. The fear struck her that Adam might be ill. Tim and Angie had a job of keeping his head still under the garmented priest’s hands. The priest, Fr O’Reilly, gazed up to the arabesques on the vaulted ceiling as he preached the unity of the Holy Spirit, taking this new youth under its wing. Then Fr O’Reilly lifted up the chalice of holy water, and it glistered in the air as the light came in through coloured panes. The family sat in silence for a minute, only broken by Uncle Freddy’s whispered declarations of the specificity of light. He said to Uncle Mitch, who by the way, had no interest, ‘That’s the difference between glow and shine. You see? Everything in the church is supposed to look like it’s glowing when the sun comes in. Even that chalice the priest is holding now. Glowing means light is produced whereas shining is actually the reflection of light – renouncing light. Everything bouncing off it. That’s what we see here.’ ‘Okay okay Freddy, I’m trying to listen,’ said Mitch. ‘Look, he’s about to pour.’ A few drops. Psst-tsss! Spitting and tangoing, sizzling atop Adam’s brow. Gaia stepped forward at the behest of Tim and Angie. ‘H-he probably just has a fever…’ she said unsurely. ‘Try again, Father.’ This time when Fr O’Reilly tried to wash the child’s head, the water shot ten feet into the air. It was impossible. Adam was having none of it. ‘That’s unnatural,’ stated Mitch. ‘Ask if it comes in peace.’ The circumspect priest took a step back, as if something were about to germinate out of Adam and consume them all. Tentatively, Tim held Adam outstretched in his arms, preened and polished in his wraparound baptismal cloak, and placed him back beside the toys in his pram. ‘He’s the devil.’ ‘He’s not the devil,’ said Gaia. Then she remembered his horrible temper-tantrums that day. ‘He’s only a little evil,’ she finally added. ‘Well hold on, he might be the Ubermench,’ said Uncle Freddy. ‘Let’s not start up with Nietzsche,’ said Mitch, ‘We’re in a church.’ ‘The Nazis followed Nietzsche to a T,’ countered Tim. ‘They were plain evil.’ ‘Nietzsche is greatly misunderstood,’ said Freddy, academically. ‘Well if he doesn’t believe in God,’ decided Gaia, ‘then I’m not going to force anything on him.’ ‘He’s three months old,’ scuppered Angie, ‘how does he know what he wants?’ An unfamiliar voice spoke: ‘I know what I desire.’ All members of the family turned down their faces to the baby in the pram, who had done away with his toys and was standing nonchalantly on both feet. Adam. ‘Mother, I know.’ ‘My boy!’ Gaia shrieked, beaming. She lifted Adam with two hands under his arms and twirled, unable to hide her glee. ‘My boy!’ she kept screeching, ‘The most clever boy in the world.’ ‘If he’s so smart, who does he support in the football?’ inquired Mitch. ‘Ask him if he’s going to vote for Fine Gael,’ suggested Tim. ‘He’s a bit young to vote,’ admonished Fr O’Reilly. ‘What, and old enough to renounce God? What a joke.’ ‘It doesn’t matter what age you are to pick your religious faith,’ said the priest. ‘I was in my thirties before I joined the Brothers.’ ‘That’s all well and good,’ replied Mitch, ‘but it isn’t helping your case.’ ‘The baptism’s off, I presume?’ asked Freddy, thinking of the pub-food afterwards. ‘We can’t very well continue, at the rate things are going.’ ‘I hope the priest isn’t expecting any sort of, you know, payment? He didn’t really do much.’ ‘Our dad said he donated forty pounds for each one of us.’ ‘Forty!’ exclaimed Mitch, ‘I wouldn’t pay that much for sex, not a mind about entering the family of God.’ ‘Of course you’d pay that much for sex,’ said Adam, yawning over Gaia’s shoulder. ‘You’d pay anything to drop anchor again.’ ‘Bold Adam! Bold!’ ‘He’s the one who insisted I get baptised in the first place.’ The eyes Adam had for his uncle Mitch were pure contempt. ‘What about my consent?’ he asked. ‘I’m sorry but until you’re eighteen you can’t be the Ubermench,’ said Mitch stormily. He stalked over to the bird-bath shaped thing that was the baptismal font, and dipped his cupped hands in. He came out with water dripping down his shirt. ‘Bring the boy over,’ said Mitch. ‘It’ll be a maverick baptism.’ Before Gaia could turn and leave, Adam had wormed out of her clutch and was marching back towards Mitch, hoisting his embarrassingly long cloak. A foot from Mitch, he stood. ‘Go ahead.’ Mitch tossed the water on Adam’s head. The water sprang back up with scalding force into Mitch’s face. ‘The bastard is after blinding me!’ he exaggerated, yowling. At which point Adam was retrieved by his mother. The family all raced, packed close together, to admire the boy, sculpted beautifully. Contritely, Mitch wended along after them. And as they brought him out into the sunlight, there was much talk about how Adam’s skin seemed not to glow, but as if in defiance, to shine. ‘My super boy,’ Gaia said. This cloudy mist called ‘democracy’ hangs over our heads corrupt, venal, ignorant fools are replaced by ones worse than them but with a different name Meaningless change pleases the fool We all cheer in uproar as the axe swings and the ignorant and corrupted are dead but this cloudy mist unknown are it’s morals, hangs over our heads again clutching the axe of our horrible demise I do not know when the axe will fall but I can tell you this it is soon. The executioner dons his hood, stained in the crimson lifeblood of his predecessor I will tell you friends that when the axe does fall, I will not cheer. Nor will you for we shall be it’s final victims. For the axe doth fall upon hapless innocents POETRYby R.B William
- 4. 4 HUMOUR 32 Country Ireland Discovered in Egyptian Tomb Woman Judges Others for Not Buying into Lifestyle She Found Last Week by Dusty Rhodes by Lauren Mulvihill HEADLINES TV LISTINGS Weather: If it looks too good to be true, it is UCC: “Get rid of USI”, say students who didn’t get sweets from SU candidates Science: Researchers seek to explain why it feels like a Tuesday even though it’s, like, Wednesday Ireland: Man (43) formally complains about service in restaurant, mortifies nation Crime: Figure spotted wearing socks with sandals World: “Sounds like something the Zodiac Killer would say”, say public as Ted Cruz denies being Zodiac Killer RTÉ One, Tuesday @ 8.30PM: Documentary on the death of Arthur Griffith. RTÉ One, Tuesday @ 9PM: Documentary on the death of Michael Collins. Occurring slightly later, but will probably get more attention. History was made last week in Cairo, Egypt, where the long-standing dream of Republicans all around the island finally came true. While on a diplomatic mission to the northern African state, a prominent politician stumbled upon the long- lost 6 counties of Ulster. The discovery was made following a series of daring capers and escapades deemed too exciting for Dáil records; however, this publication was able to get exclusive rights to the story. It all began when an intern discovered a map on the back of the 1916 Proclamation. Though this was initially thought to be a way for Bertie Ahern to find his way home from the Dáil bar after getting drunk off his tits on Bass, and then a map to Dev’s gold, these theories were disproven when it became clear that it led out of Ireland. The first stumbling block came when the hot air balloon carrying our brave adventurer crashed over London, landing him in the middle of Buckingham Palace. Having been seduced by sultry vixen Queen Elizabeth II, he fled to France on the back of a charity Channel swimmer. From there, getting to Egypt was easy, having solved the Israel-Palestine conflict on the way.Thesecondstumblingblockhappenedwhen,faced with a group of assassins, our fearless hero discovered his armalite had been stolen, and was forced to defeat them all with nothing but a ballot box...and another armalite he had hidden in the ballot box. Nothing would now stand between him and his prize hidden within the temple of the god Imhotep Ra - or so he had thought. Our hero moved closer and closer to the end of the Proclamation’s map, deeper and deeper into the Imhotep Ra temple. As he moved up the passageway of Ra, he heard voices in the distance; dismissing it, he continued until he reached the throne-room, in which stood a great golden box. Cracking open the lid, he found the barrel of the gun placed upon his temple, and dread washed over him: his lover, Queen Elizabeth II, had betrayed him after their tryst, making a copy of the map. They knocked our adventurer out, and opened the box, only to have their faces melted brutally off. Following this ordeal, after discovering the bodies of his enemies and realising there would be no need for him if the 6 counties were recovered, our hero left the Imhotep Ra temple and returned home empty-handed. Speaking at a recent public press conference, Mr.Adams claimed that he had never been in the IRA and that he still believes a 32 county Ireland is something to aspire to. A student of University College Cork has been spotted actively judging others for not buying into the lifestyle she adopted about a week ago, according to reports. Anna McGinty, who is studying Philosophy and Religions in UCC, claims that her newfound way of living has “like, totally changed [her]”. “Honestly, I can’t even remember what life used to be like before I discovered Blablaism. I mean, I feel so, like, connected to the earth.” Blablaism, a neo-spiritual movement which is probably described by practitioners as ‘Eastern’ and is almost definitely culturally insensitive, has emerged in recent weeks following the publication of a bestselling book of the same name by Ima Conn, Ph.Value. The belief system and accompanying lifestyle require proponents such as Ms. McGinn to follow a complex set of rules, making them better than you in the process, apparently. “Like, I’m not trying to judge people who don’t follow this lifestyle,” Anna explains. “All I’m saying is, if you don’t follow it, you’re probably a piece of shit. But that’s OK.” Ms McGinn’s blog, EatPrayBla.com, has attracted a sizeable audience since its launch last Thursday. As well as marketing it as a platform to help people understand Blablaism, Anna encourages her followers to “find their inner selves” through travel and a strict quinoa-only diet. Anyone, according to Anna, can live according to the principles of Blablaism if they try hard enough. “Like, if you really want to improve yourself, travel,” she writes. “I’ve had some whiny poor people complain about ‘not having the money’, and if you’re that selfish, frankly, you don’t belong on this website. I mean, I love everybody, but if you can’t even forsake something as non-essential as food or shelter in order to improve yourself and, therefore, humankind, you’re literally the worst person I know.” According to a recent survey, Anna has single-handedly converted 7 people to Blablaism, the majority of whom are residents of Co. Waterford, Ireland, who mistook EatPrayBla.com for a fansite of the Déise delicacy, the blaa. She continues to advocate for peace, love, and for everyone to do what she’s been saying since last week or they’re actual and literal piles of faeces who are actively destroying the earth.
- 5. 5 HUMOUREDITOR - LAUREN MULVIHILL Former Politician ‘Not At All Bitter’ About Losing Seat Long Story Short by Lauren Mulvihill by Katie Myers Peadar Lynch, former TD for Cork South Central, released a statement this week assuring the public that he is not at all bitter about not retaining his seat in the recent general election. Mr. Lynch, who had previously served two consecutive terms in the Dáil, was spotted screaming profanities at the posters of newly elected TDs following the final count for his constituency. Despite several eyewitnesses disagreeing, Lynch has assured the people of Cork that it was “all just a bit of fun, a bit of banter”. “I completely respect the decision of the voters,” he added while speaking to members of the press outside his home in Douglas. “I mean, I call them ‘voters’, because they did vote for someone, I’m sure. It just wasn’t me. But, whatever. They can throw their vote away if they want. The point is, that I am in no way bitter about any of this.” According to reports, Lynch has had a history of “petty behaviour”. It is believed that the Fine Gael TD experienced a drop in support immediately after the last election, when he took to the streets of Cork to throw bread and “honking” at known Fianna Fáil supporters. When asked to defend his actions, Lynch was quoted as saying “you people are always on my case, I swear to God. What’s wrong with a bit of political intimidation, like? Leave me alone?” Peadar Lynch was last seen cutting the heads of elected TDs from photographs in local newspapers and gluing them to a dartboard. According to sources, neighbours have taken to avoiding Mr. Lynch’s home out of fear of ridicule. “I was cycling home from school and he shouted, ‘even if you were old enough you wouldn’t have fucking voted for me either!’ at me from his kitchen window,” Linda Kennedy, a nine-year- old schoolchild, claims. In a statement to local media outlets, Lynch continues to assert that he is “not at all bitter about the obvious stupidity of voters in [his] constituency”. “Look, as I’ve said before, what’s done is done. The people of Cork West Central have spoken, and I suppose we’ll all just have to live with it at this stage,” he said, adding, “I mean, once upon a time, if people wanted an opinion, I’d give them one. But they’re entitled to their own wrong opinions, I suppose. That’s their right. I can’t say I’d agree with it, but off with them if they want to ruin the country. Anyway, as I said, there is no bitterness on my part towards them or those other muppets they went and elected.” Dáil Éireann has since upped security following reports that Mr. Lynch may attempt to egg the premises in the coming days. The predicament of being vertically challenged is one that I tackle daily. You could say that tall people can be high and mighty. When you’re labelled “adorable” by people that you barely, you know that you’re small. It’s a fact I have grown (because every other form of growth is out of bounds for me apparently) used to over the years. Although I like the description, it does come with its own challenges. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that tall people are both a blessing and a curse when you’re 5ft 3 and have the upper body strength of a pillow. Some will get things from high selves down for you. Others will put things on those high shelves so you have to hop like a frog for three hours if you want to get them. They’ll cackle loudly as you try to climb to that top shelf where Penneys stores their best stuff, but they’ll catch you if you fall (sometimes). People will use you as a ruler because five of you equals one of your boyfriend. That silence when people make conversation by marvelling at how big you’ve grown when you obviously haven’t is something to be treasured. It’s not until you stand for a concert that you realise how Simba felt in that buffalo stampede (too soon?). People who want to capture the moment on their giant phones knock you out with their elbows as you get swallowed up by the crowd. Of course, if you want to go to a bar, you must bring a token tall person with you to either elbow people for you, or to use as a club by grabbing them by the ankles. When you get out of this wave of swaying people (the only time crowd surfing is crucial), you need to get some mode of transportation home, where I am personally at a height which facilitates accidental boob-elbow contact. What brings me joy in life is the fact that I can bring joy to people who are average height. When you hear the high-pitched squeals usually reserved for puppies because your feet dangle off the edge the seat. When a person is waiting in a line next to you in the bathroom and whispers to her friend ‘I feel tall’ – followed by ‘now I don’t’ as you leave. Those little moments that brighten up your day. In short, despite these setbacks, at least if there’s an apocalypse I will be able to hide comfortably in a sock drawer, unlike other people.
- 6. 6 GAMING Uncharted 4 Multiplayer Preview Game Stories Are Trash Aoife Gleeson takes a look at the Uncharted beta By Brian Conmy - Editor-In-Chief The Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End multiplayer beta or ‘stress test’ ran last weekend (the 4th to the 6th March) giving us a tantalising glimpse of the game that will eventually hit shelves on the 10th May (making it a nice treat for finishing exams). The beta contained around 20% of the multiplayer content of the final game, with three maps to play in for the weekend. After a lengthy matchmaking window (which will hopefully be speedier in the final product) you’re put on a team of either heroes or villains, you pick your character and you jump in. Now, given that some characters have more of a recognition factor than others, you’ll often end up staring down a team full of Nathan Drakes posing on the match loading screen, all roaring the same one- liners in the actual match - although I never did hear one say my favourite sociopathic Nathan Drake line “that’s your neck!” after snapping someone’s neck from behind. The maps were fun and diverse, hopefully being a good sign of what’s to come. ‘Island’ is your typical Drake’s Fortune, jungle/ temple style of map that allows you to use the grappling hook to good effect, swinging around wildly off trees and shooting with reckless abandon. ‘Madagascar City’ is a mid-sized favela map where your best bet is to hide in a hut and fling grenades at people. The final map, ‘Rooftops’, puts an emphasis on verticality as you leap around towers in a museum setting. I also like to call it the ‘where is that guy shooting at me from’ map. Power- ups like brutes, sniper sidekicks and giant totem poles that kill the opposing team with evil spirits all add variety to proceedings. Speaking of dying, getting shot a bunch doesn’t immediately kill you. Soaking up a boatload of bullets will ‘down’ you, giving your opponent 100 points and causing you to crawl around pathetically looking for a teammate to heal you. Your opponent can also run up and kick you in the face - KO’ing you for 50 points - which is a goofy way to add insult to injury, really. Like the teammates who stand by as you demoralizingly die, stooped on all fours - I’m looking at you, ‘ilike2tbag’, who ran off after I got shot while reviving him. I will find youandgoall‘TheRevenant’onyou. Lazarevic’s “HEAL ME OR I WILL KILL YOU” line is particularly apt. The stress test was, unsurprisingly, an assuring sign of the high quality of Uncharted 4 and a great teaser for the game to come. For now, I’ll be patiently waiting, sadly looking at the ‘error initialising session manager’ window that pops up when you launch the app. Much has been made in gaming media, even in this section of Byline, over the years about the evolution of storytelling in video games. While new forms of storytelling are more common in video games than other mediums, with the incoming wave of VR games this is going to be truer than ever, there is still one universal fact about video games stories that we ignore. Basically, no story featured in a video game has ever come even close to the calibre of storytelling found on television, in film or literature. While great stories do exist, and I do believe they exist, these stories are uniquely limited by their medium. One of the best parts of a video game is the interactivity, the fact that you as the player character are moving along and being involved in a story. As such at times, games like Mass Effect or Fallout feel like personal stories because we make the decisions. We choose which factions to join, which relationships to form and shape the story in a predetermined but still optional way. We can never go so far off script to do something in a story unintended by the game’s developer, but at least we can make choices. If you’ve only played Bioshock in a purely good or purely evil playstyle you have had one of two entirely different experiences with the game, if you’ve left it at one play through then that’s it for you. You’ve come away form a contained experience with a different idea of the game than everyone else has played. This is doubly true if you maintained a particular playstyle, weapon focus versus plasmid focus, and if you sought out all the secrets the game had to offer. No other medium offers this experience. With that said though even at the peaks of video game writing, with the best writers in the medium creating their magum opus as we may have seen a few times in the past generation, these stories do not hold a candle to the heights reached in other mediums. Even to take comparable examples we can see video games don’t compare favourably. The Last of Us is lauded as one of the greatest video games ever made, one praised regularly for its strong characters and bravery to put artistic integrity over the need for a conventional video game ending. A similar plot to the Last of Us’s in many ways is that of Cormac McCarthy’s the Road. Both tales of two people, one young and one old, traversing the post-apocalyptic world of the United States, they both cover themes of innocence, paternity and inhumanity. Yet the Road is endlessly more effective in its efforts when compared to the Last of Us. While some will argue this, which is completely fair, to me at least the atmosphere the short book creates is so much richer than even the exceptional environmental storytellingtheLastofUsshowcases. While not all games, or even most games, have direct dialogues to other pieces of media in other art forms to look at the other games which are praised for their story still doesn’t show us a favourable comparison. Gone Home, when all is said and done, has an interesting character story that if told in any other format would be ultimately quite dull. What elevates this game to the status of a “good video game story” is the environmental storytelling and the fact that player agency allows for interpretation and non-sequential exploration of the story. Other “walking simulators” such as Firewatch or Everybody’s Gone to the Rapture, if they were to be stripped of their video game aspects and had their stories told more simply as a book or in a movie would likely fail to make any waves as being regarded as excellent stories. In fact even in the context of video games these stories, the main draw of these games, fail completely to hold up when scrutinised next to games like Dark Souls or Bloodborne who only offer their stories to players willing to completely explore their game worlds and piece the puzzle of the story together. WhileIwanttobeprovedwrongand in years to come leave a videogame having experienced a story that I can place on a pedestal next to Citizen Kane, Requiem for a Dream, Lost in Translation or Ender’s Game as my favourite stories of all time, I have my doubts that this may ever happen. With that said I still find plenty of enjoyment in video games and interacting with their stories. I’m just waiting to be blown away.
- 7. 7 GAMINGEDITOR - AOIFE GLEESON Marvel Should Be Making Better Games By Kieran Collins Everyone remembers the days, not too long ago, when every action- or animated-movie had a licensed game to go along with it. Most of them were pretty terrible, but a fair number of them were actually good. Games like Shrek 2, Ratatouille, and countless James Bond games were all brilliant. The idea of making these games was that a consumer, after enjoying the movie, would see the game and pick it up. In most cases these games were shameless cash grabs, and eventually the public realized how poor quality they were and stopped buying. Lower profits made companies lose interest in funding these games, so aside from the occasional Pixar tie-in, those games are no longer put on shelves. “Characters like Vision and Ant-Man, who were once niche characters, are now just as known as Hulk or Captain America” Fast-forwardtotoday’sworld;Marvelhasoneofthebiggestmoviefranchises of all time with the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Every year, they release several movies, from iconic to obscure heroes. Characters like Vision and Ant-Man, who were once niche characters, are now just as known as Hulk or Captain America. In addition, there’s also the X-Men movies, which are owned by Fox, but still too big, both financially and critically, to ignore. So, with all this success on the big screen, it begs the question: what is Marvel Games up to? “What is Marvel Games up to? ...The answer is decidedly disappointing” The answer is decidedly disappointing. The vast majority of games that Marvel have created recently are mobile. They hit all the marks, including an endless runner with Spider-Man; a puzzle game; a touch-based fighter; and a pinball game, among others. While most of their work is mobile, they do make other games. Lego Marvel Super Heroes and Disney Infinity: Marvel Super Heroes both strongly contain Marvel properties, but, at the same time, both are clearly advertised to children. Sure, they’re fun for everyone who is open enough, but they don’t offer the same experience that a game for older audiences would. If you’re an MMO fan and have a PC, there is Marvel Heroes, but again, that’s a “free-to-play” game that contains micro-transactions. “Obviously, the company is looking at quick money with minimal work” MarvelGames’mentalityisbestseenintheirrecentre-releaseofHighMoon Studios’ Deadpool game. They didn’t upgrade the graphics or remaster it in any way, they just straight-up ported it. Obviously, the company is looking at quick money with minimal work. They’re not looking to make another Marvel vs. Capcom or Marvel: Ultimate Alliance, and that’s really unfortunate. With all the newfound popularity of many formerly infamous characters, the possibilities for the kind of experiences they could create are endless. Instead, they make “free” apps with micro transactions. Ultimately, this is very disappointing. I’d love, personally, a new story-based fighting game using Marvel’s intellectual property. “...[they] pushed the boundaries of what could be done with a licensed property” Take a look at what Warner Bros. has done with the DC Universe. They helped Rocksteady make four critically acclaimed Batman games with the Arkham Games. These games pushed the boundaries of what could be done with a licensed property. The same goes for Injustice: Gods Among Us, which was made by NetherRealm Studios, the people who made Mortal Kombat! If this kind of work can be done with DC, who so far haven’t had much success in the movie industry, imagine what different studios could do with the current lineup of Marvel characters. I’d love to fly around an open world as Iron Man or travel the Marvel galaxy as Star-Lord. With so many popular franchises, it’s such a head-scratcher why Marvel wouldn’t think to make something with some more density than a mobile game. “No word has been heard since then about the deal, and based on its more recently announced Batman game, it seems probable that it has fallen through” It was announced awhile back that Telltale Games, the makers of games like Tales From the Borderlands and The Walking Dead, would be making Marvel Cinematic Universe games in 2017. No word has been heard since then about the deal, and based on its more recently announced Batman game, it seems probable that it has fallen through. Back in 2014, Capcom, the makers of the Marvel vs. Capcom games, reported that their contract with Marvel had expired, meaning that not only could they not make a new Marvel vs. Capcom game, but they couldn’t even update Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3. Activision had to recall all of their Marvel-licensed games from store shelves in 2014 upon the expiration of their contract. It’s certainly more than clear what Marvel Games’ intentions are at this point, but it’s also very hard to watch them go down this path with many iconic and beloved characters held hostage.
- 8. 8 ARTS & LITERATURE On Writing: Collaboration Alice Isn’t Dead Frank O’Connor: The 50th Anniversary of the Writer’s Death Colm Furlong looks at collaborative fiction writing Colm Furlong looks at the new podcast from the team behind Welcome to NightVale Oftentimes you’ve probably been in a bookshop and seen a book by multiple authors. You may have wondered how that works? How can two people write one book? Is it even worth trying to write something with someone else? I believe that it is. Many years ago, I joined Protagonize. Protagonize is a collaborative writing website that allows writers to post their work to be read and critiqued. It’s main goal, however, is to get writers to collaborate on stories. It was on this website that I made one of my best writer friends, and now we are writing a novel together (You can check it out on Protagonize if you like, it’s called Recon). The process of collaborative writing is wonderful. We’ve each taken our own characters and begun to tell their part of the story, while working together to determine the overall arc of the story. We alternate chapters, and we move the story forward in consultation with one another. It’s wonderful to have someone else to turn to for ideas on the project. I would wholeheartedly encourage anyone who is interested in writing fiction to give writing a collaborative story a go, even if it is never going to be published. It’s a wonderful experiment, and it makes you think on your feet because you have to play off what your partner(s) writes. It gives you the joy of being both a reader and a writer of a project as you wait to find out what your partner(s) will do next. On the 15th of June 2012, the pilot of Welcome to NightVale beamed around the world to listeners for the very first time. This little serial fiction podcast went on to become one of the biggest podcasts in the world. It has toured the globe (reaching Australia and New Zealand for the first time this year), and has featured numerous high profile guest stars throughout its ongoing run. Now, the team behind Welcome to NightVale has delivered a new serial podcast unto the world. On March 8th 2016, Alice isn’t Dead was born. Well, the idea was born long before then. And is a podcast really ever born? Haven’t they always been there and we are only now becoming aware of them, so they appear to us out of their hiding places? Written by Joseph Fink and produced by Disparition (the group behind the original music featured on Welcome to NightVale and Alice Isn’t Dead), and narrated by Jasika Nicole (the voice of Dana Cardinal from Welcome to NightVale), Alice Isn’t Dead introduces us to the narrator who is addressing the character Alice, and updating her on her life. Alice Isn’t Dead seems to be set in the same universe as Welcome to NightVale- all of the wonderful weirdness fans have become accustomed to in that world is present here too. This too is a world where the unusual is usual, and the not normal is normal. Alice Isn’t dead gives us a new story; one which will have a limited run until the 12th of July. It will release every other Tuesday, and each episode will tell us a part of the story as it unravels. Usingmuchofthesamewryhumour that fans of Welcome to NightVale love, Alice Isn’t Dead tells a story that positively hops along. With the same philosophical, rhetorical and wonderfully weird ways of making you think as its predecessor, Alice Isn’t Dead is sure to be a hit with fans of the parent podcast. It uses the same simple, yet beautiful descriptive style of telling its narrative as NightVale does. Alice Isn’t Dead certainly seems to have a strong future ahead of it. It has already reached the top of the Arts charts on the iTunes podcast store, and is fourteenth overall in the podcast charts on the iTunes store at the time of the writing of this article. Hopefully it keeps up its strong start and gets better and better. For fans of Welcome to NightVale and newcomers alike, Alice Isn’t Dead is sure to be an entertaining ride. I highly recommend you check it out. If the narrative allows for it, then maybe NightVale fans can hold out hope for some familiar voices to pop up during Alice’s short run. This past Thursday, the 10th of March marked 50 years since the death of celebrated Cork writer Frank O’Connor. Born Michael O’Donovan, O’Connor went on to become a key figure in 20th Century literature in Ireland; particularly when it comes to the short story. UCC marked the event with a symposium in his honour. Topics explored included the vast variety of O’Connor’s work. Furthermore, the celebrations included a presentation of more than 700 original O’Connor letters which were generously donated to the University’s Library by O’Connor’s son. If you would like to do your part in remembering the Cork writer, and pick up one of his works and give it a read today.
- 9. 9 ARTS & LITEDITOR - COLM FURLONG The Art of Magic Book Recommendation: Station Eleven Anon. discusses the art involved in the performance of magic Do you believe in magic? Do you? Some people will say yes, some will say no. I will not go to the extent of saying that magic in the sense of casting spells or the like is real. Nevertheless, I firmly believe magic does exist. Have you ever been captivated by a performance? By a piece of writing? By a television show or movie? If so, then you have been under the thrall of the person who created that art. You were under their spell. That is magic. When people think of magic they think of magicians, illusionists, escape artists, mentalists, etc. Just like writing, just like theatre, this is an art. Magicians and the like tell a story with their work. They mystify, they deceive, they lie. I’ve been performing magic on a small scale for a number of years; card tricks, coin tricks, nothing spectacular. There is an immense amount of time that goes into perfecting the moves involved in successfully pulling these tricks off. Time and effort, just like any form of art. Magic done well is a thing of beauty. The seamless slights, the skill of misdirection, the flourishes. It is all beautiful. I would argue it is one of the most beautiful forms of art. If you ever get the chance to see a magician, an illusionist, a mentalist, etc perform, don’t hesitate to snap up the opportunity. It’s an experience you won’t regret. Station Eleven is a 2014 novel by Emily St. John Mandel. A New York Times Bestseller, Station Eleven takes the genre of the post-apocalyptic story and breathes fresh life into it. In a genre filled with zombies and viruses, Mandel has managed to bring a flair of originality. Station Eleven’s premise hinges on the question: If civilisation was lost, what would you preserve? And how far would you go to protect it? The novel follows the Travelling Symphony; a group which moves around the settlements that have grown up in the wake of the collapse of civilisation performing Shakespeare and Classical Music. The novel follows the character of Kirsten in the present; an actress travelling with the symphony. Interspersed throughout the narrative of her story is the story of Arthur Leander; an actor died on stage the same night the virus that destroyed the world touched down in North America. These flashbacks work well to compliment the narrative, and both the past and present of this story are equally intriguing to the reader. Mandel creates stunning visuals throughout the novel. Her writing is haunting, and the reader becomes truly immersed in the world, living along with the characters in the story. As Jane Garvey from BBC Radio 4 said: this is a novel you can just wallow in. You won’t find any zombies in this post- apocalyptic tale. Instead you will find art, uncertainty and fear. Station Eleven is a must read.
- 10. 10 INTERVIEW with...The Sunshine Factory Byline: So I listened to a few of your tracks there before I came down, and you describe yourselves as shoegazing, but psychedelia as well. I suppose, well, those are obviously genres - would you describe yourselves still as shoegazing and psychedelia or something like that or what would be the best thing to call it? Mark: I’d say neo-psychedelic, but I think individually then we kind of try to draw influences - like, I draw a lot of influence for my bass playing from post-punk and stuff. And a lot of your drumming would be kind of a collective of influences. Steve: Yeah, more eclectic, kind of. A lot from hip- hop, but a good bit just from modern rock and stuff as well; I’m kind of trying to fuse that together. BY: Because I was listening to it and I saw the genres list and the bands that you’d list off, like the Doors, but when I listened to it I got more of a Joy Division vibe; even a little bit of Tame Impala and stuff like that - kind of modern bands - but a lot of Joy Division. What would ye say has had a big influence. Jack: Joy Division, they’re a huge band, and they were one of the first bands I fell in love with. For myself, I wouldn’t sing like Ian Curtis but the subject matter of his lyrics and stuff - I don’t know, it’s kind of weird to describe. Yeah, I would take a lot of influence - mostly I think, for our music anyway, the atmosphere of Joy Division is really open and sparse and we do have that kind of base factor in our music. Definitely post-punk would be a very, very big influence on us. Mark: Can I just say as well, not to speak for Jack, but I’d say a lot of your influence as well, guitar-wise, would be a lot of Kevin Shields. Jack: Yeah, guitar-wise, for neo-psychedelia anyway, it’s like an all-encompassing bracket. Because shoegaze and stuff like that would fall under psychedelic music, so it’s very much dream-orientated. Yeah, for guitar playing, anyway, it would be very much Kevin Shields from My Bloody Valentine would be one of my biggest influences because of his techniques and the use of effects pedals and stuff - that you can create differents tones and use some reverb and stuff like that. It’s very prominent in his guitar playing, and something I’ve adopted massively. Mark: I guess it’s like a combination of the different influences that we all take, and kind of mash them together. Jack: Drumming-wise, it’s kind of different, because the reason I play drums and the reason I started off playing drums is because I was listening to the greats, We’ve interviewed a lot of people, and this bit, right here, is often my favourite bit to read (and on occasion write). As I was writing this piece I had to stop myself a few times and say “no no no, you’re not after interviewing The Undertones” or Joy Division, or Elastic Sleep to be a bit moderne. I was reading back what I had written about The Sunshine Factory, about how this is a band that in a few years you’ll be saying ‘oh yeah, I heard them in some hole-in-the-wall in Cork before they hit it big.’ And yes, I know that this is a bit of a cliché because I’ve heard it said many times before, usually by people trying to flog me tickets for their mate’s gig in the Old Bar; but I’m not trying to sell you anything (yes you can relax, you didn’t just rob this mag from the Boole). As I said at the opening of this article, the pre-interview blurb is my favourite thing to read in these things, and you nearly didn’t get it. We’ve interviewed some great bands, acts & people over the years, and this isn’t a knock on them, but none of them made us knock a wall through to the next section just to fit it in. I was supposed to interview these lads for like, 10-20 minutes, hammer out an easy interview to fill the space. Well that didn’t necessarily go to plan, at least according to the many panicked texts I got from our Humour Editor Lauren asking me if she can stop transcribing after an hour in. So read the interview, listen to the tracks on SoundCloud, go to the gigs; become as intrigued, invested & fascinated with these guys as I did. My dad’s generation’s in Irish music can be summed up by three bands: U2, Aslan and the Undertones. Our generation’s equivalent will include The Sunshine Factory. And again, hours after writing the above I have to come back to the opening. Indesign (the program used to design the paper) has crashed twice, the paper itself has been designed in full but I can’t let this go. I’ve listened to the tape of the interview a few times, trying to pick and choose the best questions, the best answers, but I’ve only got two (well three now) pages to work with, so I’ve decided to go with the judgement of my editor. After hours of work, of technology fading, of television programmes ending I finally have a way to correctly capture the brilliance of this band. John Peel, if you didn’t know, was an extremely influential radio DJ for years in the BBC, giving breaks to bands like Joy Division, the Undertones & the Sex Pistols. How he discovered the Undertones is the story I want to focus on: one day John Peel picked up the phone only to hear an odd Derry accent on the other end. That lad sent on a scratchy demo record of his band to Peel, of a song called Teenage Kicks. A simple song that’s just got something; it just has it. That’s why this interview is three pages long, despite this band being unsigned; that’s why we interviewed them at all, despite having only 5 or 6 songs publicly available; that’s why I spoke to them an hour and a half longer than I intended: because they have it.
- 11. 11 INTERVIEW y’know. That would be the reason I started playing drums. And then the kind of styles that I base myself on when I’m making beats and putting rhythm to songs would be mainly hip-hop. A lot of hip-hop. That’s my stock beat that I would go to. Kind of glitchy, offbeat stuff. What I find myself doing a lot of the time because I the fact that I’m just drumming in the band andIwouldn’tbecontributingmelodically,contributes a lot to the arrangement of the songs. In that way, if Jack has the main guitar line and I’m drumming over it, or Steve has the bass line and I’m drumming over it, I have in my head a kind of song that I’m like, OK, this is what I want to put my own spin on. It would be a lot of Brian Jonestown Massacre, a lot of how I’d try to arrange my songs - a lot of our songs use the same. One thing, really, is trying to make instrumental hooks as opposed to catchy lines. As in, for a chorus, having a guitar line as opposed to a vocal hook to be repeated. That sort of thing. Mark: Like, what Mark was saying about his taking a lot of influences from hip-hop drums, it actually works well in terms of the rhythm section. My biggest influences, as well, aside from the post-punk would be like James Jameson, who played bass for the Funk Brothers - old-town kind of stuff. The thing that we really lock in is, like, the actual groove bit. So, you take his hip-hop drums, which I suppose are mostly sampled from the funk and soul records back in the day. Jack: Exactly, yeah. Mark: And it’s kind of, like, I’d take a lot of influence from the soul records, properly getting into the groove - little bits here and there. Which I think changed the dynamic and makes our music a bit more - not that we’re aiming to make it ‘accessible’, because that’s not the point of what we’re trying to do - but, I think, it shows from our gigs that we’ve played that people who wouldn’t normally be into the music that we’ve been influenced from - they wouldn’t be listening to My Bloody Valentine, they wouldn’t be listening to Joy Division and Brain Jonestown Massacre - but they would still be able to dance along to it. I think that comes from the fact that it’s kind of set on the foundation of - I wouldn’t say a funky rhythm section, but something along those lines. You know what I mean? BY: It’s like people who wouldn’t know your influences or get them would enjoy it like people who do know your influences. [All]: Exactly that. Jack:Having a syncopated rhythm section as well gives Jack a lot of space, then, a lot of room to maneuver. Mark: Jack would be quite a rhythmic guitar player as well; there would be a lot more rhythm than just really intricate riffs and stuff like that. Jack: There’s a certain pop sensibility to the fact that we don’t make - it’s not just noise, it’s kind of, there is a structure, there is a dynamic to all the stuff we make. Mark: Regardless of the lack of lyrics, we supplement that- Jack: We kind of, like, take a lot from the classic writing style of the soft-loud dynamic of Nirvana, the Pixies and stuff. It’ll be soft and less instrumentation, maybe, just drums and bass and keys, or maybe a small guitar line, but when the choruses come in we beef it up with big guitars and stuff. BY: Your own origin stories when it comes to music - I know Steve was in bands before, but yourselves - where did ye come from and how did this band come together? Steve: Well, me personally, anyway, I picked up the drumswhenIwasinsecondyear.Iplayed[percussion] for the trad group in school. Then I got more into the drum sets and stuff like that; I got my own drum set and was playing on my own for a while. Then I got into noise rock, a post-apocalyptic music band called South of Impact. That was a massive influence for me, because I was very much a beginner drummer, but I straight away thrown into the deep end of having to learn crazy… it was a lot of hardcore punk stuff. Crazy fast rhythms, crazy fast beats, stuff like that. Really disjointed layouts to songs that I just didn’t have a clue about by bands that I had never even heard of. That gave me a good foundation. And then, that band kind of fizzled out. I was then in a blues rock two-piece band that I was co-writing for, and that was more for fun more than anything. Once that went down the tube a bit, once all our separate band endeavours had fizzled out, Jack and myself were living together, and we started off messing around because we had the same taste in music and we were always talking about being in a band, so we were jamming together just because I had my drum set there, so we’d be messing around and stuff. And then it was just a natural progression, really; it was just the fact that Steve plays bass and did the same music as us and back then, we were good friends and it was like a no-brainer, really. We should give it a go. Jack: Because, like, the two of ye had started making some stuff together and I didn’t know that at the time, and I went up to the lads and went “do you want to start something?” and they were like - Mark: “Oh we actually have two or three ideas”. Jack: -They had already started so it just came together quite naturally. Basically, the lads had been doing stuff and then I was like, “what do you think about getting a band together?” and they were like - Steve: Come for the session, stay for the music. BY: That ties into what I was about to ask ye: when you think of musical movements, particularly in Ireland and the UK, there’s always a place you can tie it to - say with Northern Irish punk, the Undertones, the Kazbah - even with, again, the Beatles, there’s the Cavern. Even in Ireland in the 80s in Cork, there was the Ark, there was Sir Henry’s. Is there a place like that in Cork today? I’m going to say the answer is ‘no’. Steve: Unfortunately not. Mark: There is bands! There is bands. Stuff is there, definitely. There’s definitely a scene. Jack: For a while, back a few years ago, the Pav was on its way to being the second Sir Henry’s. It was run by people who were young, and they were booking the acts that people wanted to see. Steve: But also accommodating local bands. Jack: Yeah, they did. A lot of young bands got to play there, but I think that got cut short when they got shut down. At the moment, there really isn’t a place where people will flock to every single weekend. Steve: I think there is a potential for somewhere like that…. Mark: People want there to be a scene here, they want there to be a place for people to go. BY: Even going back, Irish bands, say even Taste or Rory Gallagher, the idea that Ireland is dead - you have to go to the UK, you have to go to America or even Germany to get something. Do you think that that’s true for Cork and for Ireland? Steve: I think we’re coming full circle, because there’s great bands out there at the moment. Jack: You can play as many gigs as you want in Ireland, but you’re still not going to get that widespread acclaim. Like, until you play a gig in the UK. It’s always been the way down through the years. You play in mainland Europe or in the UK. If you get well- received, then you have made it in the sense that your band is receivable. Mark: But I think, y’know, if you’re an up-and- coming band in England it’s going to be until you play Germany or until you play Ireland. Steve: If you’re in Norwich, you’re like, oh, I need to play in London. Jack: There’s always that place where you have to go. Gigs & Dates: -16th April, Cyprus Avenue (Cork). Tickets: €10 -12th May, Brewery Corner (Kilkenny) -13th May, The Thirsty Scholar (Waterford) -14th May, Crane Lane (Cork) -15th May, The Workman’s Club (Dublin)
- 12. 12 INTERVIEW(cont.) with...The Sunshine Factory Steve: If you look back at the bands that Cork’s produced, even the wave that had, like, the Frank and Walters… and Elastic Sleep and stuff like that, there’s a potential for this to be the next wave.We’ll be good buddies across the board as well, that’s quite good - there’s absolutely no hostility there at all. I think there’s quite a bit of healthy competition. Jack: It’s very similar to the wave that had happened before; they all knew each other, it’s all the same circle, and I think that may be easier to create a bit of a scene. I think that’s what we’re trying to do now. Mark: Like, Damsel and… ourselves would make completely different music, but you mightn’t put them on the same bill, but it’s just the fact that they’re all up- and-coming bands and doing unique things. Steve: Everyone wants to properly go for it and do it right. Jack: The mould was broken, because I read an article about it on the Irish Times recently enough basically talking about how there’s a spotlight on Cork after these bands…. And seeing them walk around town and going, “oh that’s the lead singer of whatever”, even having that in your head - whereas for years, you’d be listening to countless bands from America or the UK and they’re these kind of, like, deities. Steve: With punk, you weren’t looking at Ziggy Stardust, and I love David Bowie, but you were looking at fucking Johnny Rotten, some fucking shithead from down the road, which makes it a good influence in terms of what actually can be done. People from Cork who make music that they believe in can actually go on and do something. BY: So what is the five-year plan? What is the goal for the future? Steve: First on the agenda is to continue writing, keep making music that we Mark00% believe in. That would be the main goal. Actually doing some recording in the summertime with a guy called Aidan McGovern, the sound engineer for Cranberries’ album Everybody Else is Doing It So Why Can’t We. Jack: We always talk about what we want to do, but we’ve only been a band for a year. A lot of bands don’t get these opportunities for a long, long time. Mark: We are incredibly ahead of schedule, to be honest. What we had planned to do was that we wanted to, because we were being realistic in planning, hopefully, by May, get a gig in Dublin. That has gone to having a sellout gig in February to having a gig in April, and a four-day tour. If I was still trying to plan realistically for me personally, and I’m sure it goes across the board, over the five years I would hope to have played the majority of Irish festivals at least and definitely some gigs abroad; have some more solid, physical recording done. Jack: We’ll hopefully, over the five years, find a form of harmony with the sound, so that we won’t be constantly trying out different genres - that we will be known as an identifiable band. Mark: We are on the cusp of creating something different. Steve: I’d also like for it to be a bit of a knock-on effect…. I would like to see a couple more bands come up along the way. That would be great. I’d love to open up things a small bit for Cork bands. BY: This is a question we ask every ‘up-and-comer’ we interview, last time it was Hozier back when he was just making demos in an attic... In a year, where do you see yourselves? Jack: We’re not chasing fame or fortune, really. We always said that if we could live comfortably off making music, then that’d be good. For me, my biggest thing was if I ever saw an album by us on vinyl, I’ll be happy at the end of the day. In a year, I’d love to get signed to something - not, like, a major label. Mark: Personally, I don’t think a year is actually that long a time. If you had told me a year ago when we started that we would be going on a four-day Irish tour with the Telescopes, I would have told you to shut up. Not in a negative way, but I always dream a bit lower. In a year’s time, I’d like to have played a good few Irish festivals, and I’d like to have, maybe, some sort of official release. That would be the main thing, really, for me. And I’d like to be critically acclaimed. Jack: Get a facility, or somewhere that can facilitate us to make music. Steve: My dream, overall, would be to actually make a living out of making music, and music that I fully believe in. And the best part about it is making music with my fucking friends. BY: “Sunshine Factory” seems like a familiar term. Where did the name actually come from? Jack: For yourself, the unadulterated version is that there was a band in America called Sunshine Factory that came across, and they had a really cool name. Mark: That’s not how you came up with the name, though. You didn’t see that name and be like “oh, we’ll steal that”. You came up to me when we were - Jack: Oh, I’m just telling you that there is a band. Mark: We were goosed, and Jack came up to me, and we hadn’t figured out a name for the band yet. Basically, yeah, Jack had a bit of a brainwave, and he came up to me - we were on a night out - and he was like, “I have a name for the band”. We hadn’t come up with one yet, we hadn’t even suggested one properly. So, I was a bit excited and he said “the Sunshine Factory”, and just then, we knew it. That was definitely the name. As in, it works on a lot of different levels. Steve: It was a bit of a slow burner for me. When I first heard it, I wasn’t too sure, but then it hit me like a tonne of bricks. It made sense. [Like] Joy Division… a lovely, it sounds like a fucking boyband name, and then they just have this kind of fucking obscene music. Mark: I think it’s a nice play, because it’s sunshine, but then it’s factory - it’s artificial, so there is a kind of menacing undertone…. It’s funny because of the state that we were in when Jack proposed the idea was that, like, it’s fake happiness, like “sunshine factory”. Being that way, being that goosed - it’s fake happiness. Jack: Our music is dark, but at the same time - it’s dark in places, but there’s little speckles of light and hope in a lot of the songs. It’s going good so far. The Sunshine Factory would like to thank, among others: CSN, the Southern Hospitality Board, Daniel O’Sullivan, Eoghan McDermott, the staff of Plugd, Kieran Hurley & everyone in UCC98.3fm and probably a lot more people, but this interview went over an hour & our dictaphone isn’t great. To hear more from the Sunshine Factory you can check out their songs on their SoundCloud (http://bit.ly/SunsFact), their Facebook page (FB.com/TheSunshineFactoryBand) and their live- gigs on the following dates: -16th April, Cyprus Avenue (Cork). Tickets: €10 -12th May, Brewery Corner (Kilkenny) -13th May, The Thirsty Scholar (Waterford) -14th May, Crane Lane (Cork) -15th May, The Workman’s Club (Dublin)
- 13. 13 MUSICEDITOR - HOLLY COONEY Ten Best European Festivals Summer isn’t the same without hitting a festival or two, even if it’s pouring down and you wish you’d taken a proper raincoat like your mam said, rather than that stupid gillet with no feckin’ sleeves. With the Irish festival circuit getting a bit tired (do I really need to see Kodaline or The Academic again?) it can be a welcome change to go off the beaten track, and look for a campsite where the sun might actually shine. Forget your Tomorrowland or Benicassim; this is the traveller’s guide to European festivals. Barcelona’s premier indie festival has been delighting students for the last 15 years. An indie kingpin who pays homage to its underground roots, Primavera Sound has consolidated itself as an unmissable musical event. In the past, big names like the Pixies, Queens of the Stone Age, Lou Reed and the Cure have drawn festival goers from across the continent, and it seems this year is no different with headliners Suede, LCD Soundsystem, Radiohead and Sigur Ross. Europe’s biggest touring rock festival and travelling nomad, Sonisphere returns to Switzerland this year with some of the biggest names in metal, giving fans the chance to see Iron Maiden, Rammstein, Slayer and Gojira all in one place. After travelling across the globe, Sonisphere is once again headed for idyllic Switzerland, which makes for a perfect excuse to stop off in the land of Lindt chocolate and Heidi books. Head-bangers and metalheads needn’t worry; we haven’t forgotten you! Never mind heading to the UK for Download, make the most of your summer and it make it your business to make Rock am Ring in Germany. The Germans are renowned for their love of all things metal and this weekend proves just how good they are. This year’s lineup is pretty incredible, with huge names such as Black Sabbath, Bullet For My Valentine, Deftones, KORN and the RHCP, alongside mainstream-friendly performances from Rudimental and Major Lazer. With a line-up that would excite any millennial hipster, Roskilde in Denmark is the place to go for both ironic big names and indie favourites with enough obscurity to maintain everyone’s inter-railing travel blog on tumblr. This year, RoskildeplaceshosttotheRedHotChiliPeppers, New Order, Tame Impala, Foals, Wiz Khalifa, Pj Harvey and even Tenacious D! A European mainstaythat’sbeenaroundsince1971,Roskilde’s left field attitude and wild campsite parties make it a firm staple on the festival calendar. Set on the shores of Lake Balaton in Hungary, Balaton Sound is Europe’s premier electronic and dance festival, next only to Tomorrowland and Ultra Europe. Perfect for the fun lovers and party animals Balaton Sound is set on the shores of Lake Balaton and makes for the perfect beach festival, with sun, sand and EDM creating the perfect soundtrack to your holiday. This year’s bill is full of dance and hip hop from the likes of Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Tyler the Creator and Robin Schulz. EXIT festival in Novi Sad, Serbia certainly has an interesting venue, being held annually in the Petrovaradinfortress.Anawardwinnerwithaccolades such as “Best Major European festival” EXIT is a platform for all, from the typical campsite hack to the beach babe, as it also hosts the Sea Dance festival on July 14th-16th on Jaz beach in Budva, Montenegro. Past headliners include Snoop Dogg, Faith No More, Wu Tang Clann, Duran Duran and Jamiroquai so no matter how diverse your musical tastes are there’s something for everyone. This year’s highlights are Ellie Goulding, Bastille and Nicky Romero. Set in one of Europe’s most breath-taking cities, Lisbon’s Super Bock Super Rock festival is a strange mix of hard rock and electronica so the babe from the hostel with the superdry shorts and Nike roshes will still be up for it, even though they have no idea you’re going for Eddie Vedder, not Jess Glynne. Headlining this year are Disclosure, Bloc Party, Jamie XX and Kendrick Lamar. This supercool festivals gets thumbs up for location, setting up shop in a disused power station in an industrial part of Helsinki and luckily for us, the location isn’t even the best part! With one of the most achingly cool line ups on offer, festival goers get to brag about seeing Iggy Pop, The Kills, Daughter and Sia all on the same bill. One of Europe’s most intimate and friendly festivals, Soundwave brings an eclectic mix of music as well as live art and film to the beautiful shores of the Dalmatian coast. Spread out over five days and three stages- including a ship, it’s certainly a week to remember. The highlight of Soundwave is most definitely the donkey racing championships which is held over the same weekend and have been happening in Tisno since 1963. If donkeys aren’t your thing then acts such as Craig Charles and Fatima might change your mind. Primavera Sound 1st-5th June. Barcelona, Spain Roskilde 25th June- 2 July. Denmark Super Bock Super Rock 14th-16th July. Lisbon, Portugal Sonisphere 3rd-4th June. Luzern, Switzerland Balaton Sound 6-10 July. Zamardi, Hungary Flow 12th- 14th Aug. Helsinki, Finland Rock am Ring Germany 3-5 June 2016. Mendig & Nürnberg Exit Festival 7th-10th July. Novi Sad, Serbia Soundwave 4th-8th August. Tisno, Croatia
- 14. 14 FILM & TELEVISION Hail, Caesar! A Review The Tonal Pendulum of ‘House of Cards’ by Tadhg Coakley by Brian Conmy - Editor-In-Chief Hail Caesar! is the new film written, directed and co- produced by the incomparable Coen brothers, and their first since Inside Llewyn Davis in 2013. It’s the fourth instalment of the Knucklehead trilogy after Intolerable Cruelty (2003), Burn After Reading (2008) and O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000). And what a breath of fresh air it is: funny and witty and giddy and flakey and thoughtful as only these fraternal auteurs can be. It tells the story of a day in the life of Eddie Mannix (Josh Brolin), a fixer for Capital Pictures in the 1950s whose job it is to sweep under the carpet the scandals and scrapes of the studio’s various Hollywood stars and make sure that movies get to the box offices: scandals like the pregnancy of wholesome and single actress DeeAnna Moran (Scarlett Johanssson); and scrapes like the kidnapping and ransoming of the studio’s womanizing and boozing leading star Baird Whitlock (George Clooney, doing a variation on a Buzz Lightyear meets Ben Hur sendup in a skirt). Hail, Caesar! also features a host of stars including Ralph Fiennes, Tilda Swinton, and Michael Gambon as narrator. On one level, this deeply-layered film is an homage of sorts to the work ethic of the old-style studios – and the importance of movies. On another, it’s taking the mickey out of film-making and the movies themselves as well as plot incidentals like Catholic confessions and the 1950s communist menace. It threatens to get reverential about the importance and beauty of movies near the end, with a “Clooney- meets-Jesus” scene, but the carpet is pulled out from under us with the very last word. The narration of Gambon, saxophone riffs and rain-strewn distant night shots of Brolin give the ‘real’ film a noirish look at times. We also get to see enjoyable clips from many of the old faithfuls: a singalong cowboy (with Alden Ehrenreich stealing the show as the resident Roy Rogers type); a musical/dance with more sailors than you can throw a buoy at; an aquamusical (look it up), featuring a fantastic synchronized swimming scene reminiscent of The Big Lebowski; a Roman toga/ Messiah romp (as in Hail, Caesar!) and a serious drama, with the main actors wearing evening dress and sporting those mock English accents (except poor Alden); all mixed in with hilarious, laugh-out- loud scenes. The script is always engaging if you make the effort; the acting is superb, as is the production quality, and the texture and detail of every single scene. The length (1 hour 46 minutes) is fine. The music is so good you don’t really notice it. Hail Caesar! is funny, mischievous, pacy, appealing, slick, and easy on the eye. And it’s different. It’s the Coens; go see it. Hail, Ethan! Hail, Joel! So House of Cards has returned to our screens for its fourth season, long may it reign. While people were initially amazed by the huge names involved in the show before it first aired, this amazement seemed to carry over to the critical and fan reception to that first season. A larger than life portrayal of American political life in the highest level of office possible, Frank and Claire Underwood stood out as larger than life characters. Their scheming and manipulative ways have made for endlessly entertaining viewing. Sentiment toward the show seemed to change after season one though. Somewhat with season two, with a much sharper decline in appreciation for the show come season three. While this was reflected somewhat in critical ratings, it was seen a lot more in hearing people talk about the show. Some went as far as to call it a soap opera. This seems to have been reversed with the release of season four though, with some calling it a return to form. Sure, having binged season four in a short time I can see why people would compare this season closer to season one than to two or three: the focus on the political aspects of Frank and Claire’s relationship and how their drive for power fuels them is somewhat contrasted with the actual character focus that made season two and three so interesting. While I can understand why people would favour season one and four versus two and three, the political machinations make for brilliant almost Game of Thrones level intrigue, to me how these actions enforce or change the status quo of the two main characters are what the show is all about. When the acting and writing is as on point as House of Cards so commonly is, the ability to create a character drama that can keep watchers invested for multiple seasons is an admirable endeavour. It was thinking of other shows which managed to go from a focus on interesting events to interesting characters that I remembered the last time I heard the same criticism that I heard levied against House of Cards season 2 and 3, that show is Lost. While Lost ended up with a bad reputation for never solving its mysteries and some internal consistencies within the show’s mythos, it has remained one of my favourite shows of all times. For a few seasons the show created legions of loyal fans who always wanted to know, what did the numbers mean, what was in the hatch and of course how the hell did the polar bear get there? For me though what was always more interesting was the quiet growth of the characters over the seasons, how the nonsense that were the mysteries the show presented forged the characters into an unlikely family and whether or not they’d make it out. What’s different about Lost when compared to House of Cards in this regard though is that while the character focus was quieter and had a longer tail in Lost, House of Cards has had a tonal pendulum and swung from a story focus to character focus and back again. Given the fact that the show is set to have a few more seasons, whether this pendulum will swing back the other way again will be interesting to see however should the show follow its current path to a conclusion, perhaps more similar to the original English version of the show’s than expected, may take the show back the other way once again. But hey, who cares as long as we get to see more Frank Underwood being Frank Underwood?
- 15. 15 FILM & TV Upcoming Irish Films By Olivia Brown In honour of St. Patrick’s day and the annual celebration of all things Irish, here are a few new and noteworthy Irish films coming out over the next few months... The Secret Scripture Based on Sebastian Barry’s book of the same name, this film isn’t one to miss. Due out in “early 2016” (whenever that is exactly), the Secret Scripture boasts a talented cast and crew starring Jack Reynor, Rooney Mara, Theo James, Aidan Turner and Tom Vaughn Lawlor, all directed by Jim Sheridan. It tells the story of Lady Rose (Mara), who has lived in a hospital for over 40 years and has decided to share her story with Dr. Greene, (played by Eric Bana). Considering the popularity of the novel behind this film, it’s a fair guess that the Secret Scripture could echo, to some extent, the success of Brooklyn. Both “novels - turned - films” tell stories which resonated with many people in Ireland and abroad, which adds to their allure. This will be big - whenever they finally decide to release it. The Truth Commissioner If House of Cards has taught me one thing, other than how much I love having a broken fourth wall, it’s that we all love a political thriller or two. Here’s hoping that the Truth Commissioner doesn’t let us down…. Roger Allam is Henry Stanfield, the man in charge of Northern Ireland’s newly announced Truth Commission. Set in the decade following the end of the Troubles, Stanfield uncovers some inconvenient secrets regarding those running the State, which no one is willing to reveal. The Young Offenders Anything that uses the term “bum-fluff moustaches” in a character description is worth a look-in in my book. The Young Offenders follows two baiis from Cork’s “inner city”: Jock, the local, uncatchable bike-stealing legend; and his best friend, Connor. Jock hears about a failed drug trafficking attempt in West Cork where 61 bales of cocaine, worth up to €440 million, end up in the sea. So the lads steal two bikes and set off on a 160km road trip hoping to find a bale or two. The story is based on Ireland’s biggest cocaine seizure in 2007. Filmed around the city by the Corkonian director Peter Foott, this film seems like a laugh - and no, there is no other way I could describe how I feel about this film. The trailer premiered at the Cork Film Festival and the film itself is rumoured to be in cinemas around September time. Sing Street Three words: John. Carey. Directing. If that isn’t making waves with you, I’ll give you a clue. He’s the chap that directed Once and Begin Again -yeah, remember those beauties? Sing Street is set in Dublin in the 80’s and tells the story of a young lad who starts up a band to escape the strains of his everyday life - and to impress a girl. The Film stars Aidan Gillen, Maria Doyle Kennedy and Jack Reynor. The trailer is a celebration of 80’s music mixed in with the inner city Dublin accent. Despite these traits, there is something about the whole thing which you can’t help but smile at. This is looking like it will be one of the most anticipated films of the year. Sing Street is out March 18th. Remember the Risingby Robert O’Sullivan Speaking of Irish films & St.Patrick’s Day, 2016 is the centennary of the Easter Rising, which is basically the moment when a radioactive, balaclava-clad spider bit the Peter Parker that was the modern Irish Republic. Over the next few weeks, as we get nearer & nearer to both the actual date of the Rising and Easter weekend, remembrance events will be ramping up. If you’ve forgotten your Junior Cert history, or you were born ‘out foreign’, then you may be wondering about what’s going on, and want to catch up; what’s the best way to get on our Republican level, you may ask? It’s simple: the Rubberbandits documentary. Entitled ‘The Rubberbandits Guide to 1916’ and produced for the national broadcaster, RTÉ, this documentary is not only the funniest film you’ll find about ‘Pearse & the lads’ but it’s also the most refreshing take on Irish history. While some of the commemorations/celebrations are chocked full of revisionist takes on our history, this one is pure gas cuntism. Find it on the RTÉ iPlayer (or Youtube) EDITOR - OLIVIA BROWN