Communication in mariage
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This document discusses the importance of good communication in relationships, particularly marriage. It defines communication and outlines some key aspects of good communication like understanding each other, expressing feelings, and forgiveness. It also addresses barriers to good communication like selfishness, recurring arguments, and divisive speech. Overall, the document emphasizes developing skills like listening, speaking respectfully, seeking unity, and resolving conflicts in a godly manner to promote healthy communication.
Communication in mariage
- 1. Communication in Relationships Proverbs 18:19-21 Pastor Samuel Ajayi Redemption Faith Church (Harvest Center
- 2. Gen 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Gen 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Communication is central in the journey of ‘leaving to cleaving’, takes agreement
- 3. Definition This is the process by which people exchange information or express their thoughts and feelings. Verbal or non-verbal This is a process that involves 2 or more people.
- 5. Good communication in marriage Proverbs 18:19 It's harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with iron bars. Pro 18:20 Words satisfy the soul as food satisfies the stomach; the right words on a person's lips bring satisfaction.
- 6. Good communication in marriage Pro 18:21 Those who love to talk will experience the consequences, for the tongue can kill or nourish life. Pro 18:22 The man who finds a wife finds a treasure and receives favor from the LORD. NLT
- 7. Good communication: Facilitates solid marriage relationship Enhances understanding and closeness Frees from the anxiety of ongoing frustration Easy conflict resolution Gives credible example to your children
- 8. Good marriages will have unity between husband and wife in three areas: a. Unity in purpose b. Unity in judgment c. Unity in practice
- 9. Why the DEVIL will not want you to agree • Great power released in unity (Mt 18:15-20) • Multiplication of strength in unity (Deut 32:30). • Greater resistance against the enemy • True harmony to take place (I Cor 1:10).
- 10. Effect of sinful nature on communication. Genesis 3:1-13 Man had a desire to hide and not communicate (Gen 3:8). Man developed the tendency to shift blame for his failures (Gen 3:12-13). Man developed a tendency to lie and be deceitful (Gen 3:10). Man now tried to conceal himself from his spouse (Gen 3:7).
- 11. Pro 15:1 A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. Three key components to good communication Understanding: clear exchange brings mutual understanding Expressing: feeling safe to express yourself Forgiveness
- 12. Understanding- we are different by design Withdraws Restrained Thinks first Takes the blame Willing to let things go Denies the issue Aggressive Engages Impatient Speaks first Assigns the blame Wants to work it out Faces the issue
- 13. James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Jas 1:20 Your anger can never make things right in God's sight. NLT
- 14. Expressing… Pro 18:13 Answering before listening is both stupid and rude. MSG Develop skills of expressing your feelings, thoughts and desires with your spouse Initiate mutually, don’t hold back discussion Think first, don’t speak carelessly. Respectfully Be honest and real Focused, refrain from other topics
- 15. Forgiveness Forgiveness- only way to unstuck from the past Forgiveness is not pretending that the offense didn’t happen, or just forgetting about it But it is A choice to set your spouse/partner free from the debt of their offense Letting of resentment and vengeance First step towards rebuilding trust
- 16. Forgiveness and resolving conflictSeeking forgiveness… Be willing-”I was wrong. I shouldn’t have…” Be specific about the offence “I am sorry that i…” Be willing to repent “What I said/did was wrong and I don’t want to do it again” Ask for forgiveness”will you forgive me for…? Blowing up chance for forgiveness... You NEVER… You ALWAYS… I'm sorry BUT… It’s not MY fault… Are you EVER going to… Why cant you BE MORE LIKE…
- 17. Pray before discussing particularly difficult areas. Attack the problem and not the person Avoiding exaggerations Use uplifting and “ problem-solving ” words
- 18. Be a ready listener, do not interrupt Seek godly counsel over irresolvable issues The bulk stops on the husband’s table Wife- use power on your knees, that’s why you married God’s son, tell the Father! In the end, be sure that the ground is really worth fighting over
- 19. Promoting unifying communication Be a christian- Christ like, be broken and true Renewed mind Honour one and another- humility Make time for quality communication, discuss everything in an atmosphere of Encouragement -Honest sharing in love -Trust- ‘I'm not your enemy’ -kindness -consideration Make sure it is a good time for both to share.
- 20. Especially in marriage Reassuring look, eye contact Reassuring touch Reassuring words
- 21. Barriers to communicating well Jas 4:1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? NIV Self..self...selfishness Listening to what we want to hear Recurring battles over unresolved issues External interference- extended family Arguing to win Escalating to abuse
- 22. Divisive conversation/communication - undermines or destroys the relationship. Divisive communication is fed Pride Anger Bitterness Selfishness Criticism Dishonesty
- 23. Avoid… Don’t go to bed angry (Eph. 4:26-27) Avoid communication destroyers. Crying and screaming Silent treatment Door Slamming Name Calling Ridicule Nagging Correcting in public Overreacting
- 24. Avoid… Breaking Confidentiality Do not make assumptions about the other person’s motives or actions. Don’t continually return to subject matter that has already been discussed and agreed upon . Don’t expect your spouse to be just like you Don’t get impatient for immediate results.