Difficult Conversations and Delivering Bad News
3 likes1,826 views
This document provides guidance on having difficult conversations and delivering bad news. It recommends expressing empathy for the other person's feelings and perspective. It advises practicing your core message but not too much, and delivering bad news in person. It also suggests having a plan but not being talked out of your decision, focusing on communicating your core message clearly, and then planning an exit from the conversation once understanding is reached. The document concludes with a reminder that difficult conversations should always be handled with respect, follow-up, and consideration of the other person's perspective.
Difficult Conversations and Delivering Bad News
- 1. Mukesh Kumar 2nd May 2017 Difficult Conversations and Delivering Bad News Success Services
- 2. Express empathy Practice, just not too much Show up in person Plan B? Get to the exit 1 2 3 4 5 Key Takeaways
- 3. Why is this a very important topic?
- 4. Survey Question Have you been involved in customer escalations?
- 5. What are Difficult Conversations? Underlying every difficult conversation is actually three deeper conversations: The "what happened?" conversation usually involves disagreement over what happened, what should happen, and who is to blame. The “Feelings” conversation is about the parties' emotions, and their validity. The “Identity” conversation is an internal conversation that each party has with themselves, over what the situation tells them about who they are.
- 6. What Happened? What happened? Remember, there are two sides to every story. It is always good to understand the position the individual is in, whether it is asking for more money on a project, escalating a concern or letting them know about their performance. What should happen? Work with the individual to acknowledge there is a problem or issue and then provide them the ability to voice their opinion on what needs to happen next. Once both parties agree to the outcome, ensure you are both aligned on next steps. DO NOT assume the other person interpreted it the same way you did. Who is to blame? This is the biggest mistake people make, they want to single one person out to assign blame, vs. getting to the root cause of the issue. The best way to handle this is by focusing on who contributed to the problem to avoid future problems.
- 7. Express Empathy Emotions It is very hard to know what one is feeling. Do not assume standard emotional cues as they can mask a complex group of feelings that have nothing to do with the situation at hand. Delivery As the one delivering bad news, it is important that you show your own emotion and express verbally how you feel about the situation. Everyone handles situations in different ways, it is important to be empathetic to the other individual and the situation they are in. Acknowledge, Convey and Share Acknowledge your own emotions and the individual or party to the situation. Convey the complexity of the situation and share both of your emotions to the situation.
- 8. Identity Identity Crisis Some conversations are difficult because they threaten or challenge a person's sense of who they are: their identity. Difficult conversations may call into question a person's competency, their goodness, or whether they are worthy of being liked. All-or-nothing thinking can make people more vulnerable to identity crises--as either likeable or worthless, good or evil. Managing the internal identity conversation requires learning which issues are most important to one's identity, and learning how to adapt one's identity in healthy ways.
- 9. My personal example
- 10. Practice, just not too much Practice your core message, practice it again...then stop It is important to practice and make sure you know your message, it is also as important to not practice too much where you are coming across scripted or robotic
- 11. Show up in Person Be Present It’s important to make sure that the other party understands your message and doesn’t walk away with the wrong impression, this is easiest if you are face to face. Avoid the ease of sending an email or doing this over the phone. A couple of examples: “We have to let you go because we’re bringing on someone with a different skill set.” “We’re switching vendors because we need different service schedules.” “I think we should stop seeing each other because we’re both miserable.” As in these examples, strive to state your core message and explanation—the reason behind the message—in one sentence. You can repeat variants of your message and explanation if you want to say more, but don’t add new information or you may encourage a drift away from your core message, do this all while respecting the other person by looking at them eye-to-eye, put the phone and laptop away.
- 12. Plan B? Have you ever been talked out of your decision by the other person (“But we’ve worked together for fifteen years—you’re not really letting me go, are you?”) or even changed your mind before delivering the bad news (She’s going to be so upset—I just can’t go through with it.)? You don’t do yourself or the other person any favors by putting off a hard conversation. Remember, when giving bad news, you’re not negotiating, fact finding, or gathering input. Resist the temptation to get pushed, cajoled, or charmed off your message. Keep your end goal in mind and deliver your less-than-pleasant message here and now. Bad news is like taking off a Band-Aid—it’s best done quickly.
- 13. Get to the exit If you’ve communicated your core message, and the other person understands, it’s probably acceptable to start thinking about an exit. Naturally, you should address any obvious questions (e.g. “Do I keep working this week?” “When’s my last day?” “Who keeps the cat?”), but be wary of answering too many speculative or probing questions. In this type of conversation, your core message pretty much speaks for itself, and a great deal of unnecessary damage is often done when you overstay a difficult conversation. You might end up giving up ground you hadn’t intended to, talking about topics that are better left unaddressed, or escalating the conversation to the point of hostility. Focus on driving the resolution together.
- 14. I. Always treat people with respect & dignity II. Always follow-up and through III. Always remember your audience IV. Always bring solutions V. Always justify Thou shalt…. VI. Always look for silver lining VII. Always put it in writing VIII. Never hide the facts IX. Never delay X. Never Surprise
- 15. Final tip – demonstrate in your accounts Remember – it’s all about Customer Success!
- 16. Survey Question Was this webinar on Managing Difficult Conversations valuable?