Effective project communication
- 1. Wu GangHPIT GADSC-CDCEffective project Communication
- 2. Ground rulesThis is not a training, it’s a workshopI am not the trainer, I am the facilitatorYou are not the trainee, you are the masterno rule will be given, only suggestion
- 4. Practice你在干嘛？Angry frustrated flirty friendlyTiredExcitedIntimated
- 6. Definition
- 9. Why Effective Communication234518910676. This is document1. Promise Made by Sales 7. This is Installation Package2. Requirement Metioned by Customer8. This is Cost3. Requirement Understanded by Project Manager9. This is Support4. Design given by Designer 10. This is What Really Want by Customer5. Coding performed by programer
- 10. Does he really understand ?
- 13. Gender
- 14. VideoWhat is the different
- 18. Different needSpecify what is male’s need and female’s needadmiredMaleFemalerespectedcared aboutapproved oftrustedreassuredappreciatedunderstoodvalidatedaccepted
- 19. Story of Tom And Mary
- 20. WhatMan needsWhat a women might unknowningly cause a man to feel controlled. Why?你干吗还买那个，咱家已经有一个了嘛，再买一个配对啊（How can you think of buying that ? You already have one）你头发长的快赶上李宇春。（You hair is getting kind of long, isn’t it?）大哥，你开的太猛了，赶紧慢下来，否则你就被拍了(You’re driving too fast , slow down or you’ll get a ticket)别咬手指头，你都多大啦.（Don’t eat with your fingers. You’re setting a bad example）Bill都打了好几次电话了。你赶紧给他回个电话吧 (Bill call for the third time. When are you going to call him back?)
- 21. Key ConceptionAdmit the differenceAware in the conversationAvoid making mistakeMen - do not offer solutions to women, listen, make them feel validated, cared for, respected.Women - do not control men, empower them to make decisions themselves, convey that you admire and accept them..
- 22. Listening,The Heart of CommunicationBe a ACTIVE Listener
- 23. Elements of ListeningHearing
- 24. Attending
- 25. Understanding
- 26. Responding
- 27. RememberingWhy listening is importantGood Communication Starts with Listening – L. Wilder Listening consumes more of our daily lives than any other communication process.
- 28. Bad habit when listeningGive no responseNegative response (distract ..)Interrupt Tell your own storyCriticizeFinishing other’s words
- 29. Active listening 4 stepsBe a active listenerIndicate your interest in the person and what he is saying. Don’t interruptInvolve your whole body.Give response
- 30. Reflect ListeningBe a active listenerSUMMARIZEPull together the main points of a speakerPARAPHRASERestate what was said in your own wordsQUESTIONChallenge speaker to think further, clarifying both your and their understanding
- 31. Formula to use for reflective listening:Be a active listenerYou feel (insert the word or feeling) because (insert the event or other content that is associated with the feeling).”
- 32. Physical ListeningBe a active listenerFacing the speakerEye contactDistancePosturerelaxed or rigidleaning in or awayRemove physical distractions
- 33. Feeling speaker while listeningBe a active listenerFocus attention on: facial expressions, posture, gestures and actions. Read non-verbal in context of the conversation. Note discrepancies between what people say and how they act. For example, if they say they are happy, do they look and act happy? Be aware of your feelings and physical reactions. Listening is not only listening
- 34. Non-Verbal LanguageHow you communicate is often more important than what you communicate.
- 36. Mail / letter
- 37. Email
- 38. Text message
- 39. MSN/QQ
- 40. ….
- 41. Oral
- 42. Speech
- 43. F2F talk
- 44. Phone call
- 46. Gossip
- 47. …Non-verbal LanguageNon-verbal languageThe way of not using talk or text to convey the messageVocal (Paralanguage)Visual （Body Language）
- 48. Percentage of non-verbal Verbal
- 49. Vocal
- 50. Visual93% of all Communication is non verbal
- 51. VocalThe 38%Which are vocal communication语音语调Vocal tone抑扬顿挫Inflection音量大小Volume是否流利 Fluency时间暂停Timing /pause- can be conveyed over the phone
- 52. Practice你在干嘛？Angry frustrated flirty friendlyTiredExcitedIntimated你可真行AppreciateJealous IronicAngryAdmire
- 53. Visualcannot be conveyed over the phoneEye contactGesturesHands and feetArms, legs – crossedTouching – handshake, shoulderSpace and Distance – proximity, height, barriers, lighting, movementPosture – relaxed, rigid, leaningSilenceNodding, ShruggingFacial expressions – Smiling, laughing.Clothing
- 54. Body languageBody language is more honest than words
- 55. What are they talking
- 56. Positive Body languageGestureOpen PalmsEye-to-eye confrontationSmileEqual HandshakePosturesStanding positionWalking styleHand Movements
- 58. Non-verbal languageIt is not what you say it. It is how you say it.
- 59. Body language is more honest that wordsAssertiveness
- 60. Group exerciseHow do you response. Person come to the meeting late all the time
- 61. Requirements changing from business. Task are always given at the last second causing a lot of over time
- 62. Your girl/boy friend spends a lot of time on the computer and not enough time with you
- 63. Your family disagrees with you getting married to that person and they do not support you 4 formsPassiveNo actionSilentcrying alone in the dark while listening to sad musicPassive-AggressiveAggressiveArguing, complaining?Negotiation?Pushing, pressureMean, disrespectPhysical violenceAssertiveTo communicate your own feelings without hurting others.www.uaf.edu/chc/MentalHealth/PAbehavior.htmForgetting" to do something on purpose Making a habit of putting off or being late with social and/or job tasks Failing to do one's share of the work or doing sub-standard work on purpose Having a constant negative attitude Criticizing authority figures, not openly, but in subtle ways
- 64. AssertivenessBe objective and non-judgmental
- 65. No judging
- 66. No blaming
- 67. No interrupting
- 68. Don’t tell others how to feel
- 69. Stop being such a baby. BAD
- 70. Do not assume another person’s motives, attitudes, character
- 71. He didn’t do the testing because he is lazy
- 72. Don’t criticize other’s beliefs, feelings and thoughts
- 73. He worries too much about uncontrollable things. BAD
- 74. Don’t be general
- 75. Everything he does is sloppy. BAD
- 76. Be as brief as possible
- 77. Don’t cause panic. Show confidence and planning.
- 78. We also have no idea what is going on. There has been no testing done for the last two days. BAD
- 79. Timing is important. Early communication and follow up is important.
- 80. We mentioned this issue in an email 3 months ago. BAD
- 81. Don’t ignore criticisms. Explain yourself and your actions.
- 82. Control your emotionsformulaAssertiveness4-part formula for assertive communication“When you (state the other person’s behavior non judgmentally), I feel (disclose your feelings)because(explain the impact on your life). I prefer (describe what you want).”
- 83. Use formulaGroup exercise - AgainHow do you response. Person come to the meeting late all the time
- 84. Requirements changing from business. Task are always given at the last second causing a lot of over time
- 85. Your girl/boy friend spends a lot of time on the computer and not enough time with you
- 86. Your family disagrees with you getting married to that person and they do not support you summaryOverviewGenderListeningNon-VerbalAssertivenessAlwaysBe brief.Be confident.Be positive
- 87. Phily Wu
Editor's Notes
- #4: What are you doing last weekendDescribe your job of yesterdayWhat is your favorite sportsWhat is your hobbyTell some story of your kid
- #8: 百度百科：沟通就是信息传与受的行为，发送者凭借一定的渠道，将信息传递给接收者，并寻求反馈以达到相互理解的过程
- #14: 她的日记： 昨天晚上他真的是非常非常古怪。 我们本来约好了一起去一个餐厅吃晚饭。但是我白天和我好朋友去shopping了，结果就去晚了一会儿，可能就因此他就不高兴了。他一直不理睬我，气氛僵 极了。后来我主动让步，说我们都退一步，好好地交流一下吧。他虽然同意了，但是还是继续沉默，一副无精打采心不在焉的样子。我问他到底怎么了，他只说： “没事。”后来我就问他，是不是我惹他生气了。他说，这不关我的事，让我不要管。在回家的路上我对他说，我爱他。但是他只是继续开车，一点反应也没有。我真的不明白啊，我不知道他为什么不再说“我也爱你”了。我们到家的时候我感觉，我可能要失去他了，因为他已经不想理我了。他坐在那儿什么也不说，就只是闷着头看电视。继续发呆，继续无精打采。后来我只好自己上床睡去了。 …….我感觉，他一直都在想别的什么。他的心思根本不在我这里！这真的是太让我心痛了。我决定要跟他好好谈一谈。但是他居然已经睡着了！我只好躺在他身边默默地流泪，后来哭着哭着睡着了。我现在非常地确定，他肯定是有了别的女人了。这真的像天塌下来了一样。天哪，我真不知道我活着还有什么意义！ 他的日记： TMD今天意大利居然输了……
- #19: 玛莉说：工作太多了，我根本没有一点点私人时间” 汤姆说：“你应该辞职，不必做得那么累，去找一些你喜欢的事做。” 玛莉说：“可是我喜欢我的工作，只是他们过于期望我在短时间内改变 一切事。” 汤姆说：“别听他们的，只要做你能做的就好。” 玛莉说：“我正是这么做。真不敢相信，我今天竟然忘了打电话给我姑 妈。” 汤姆说：“别担心，她应该会了解你很忙。” 玛莉说：“你知道她怎么了吗？她需要我。” 汤姆说：“你太会担心了，才会这么不快乐。” 玛莉生气地说：“我并不是常常不快乐，你可不可以只听我说？” 汤姆说：“我正在听。” 玛莉说：“为什么我还是这么烦呢？” 玛莉说;“太多工作了，我没有一点私人时间” 汤姆深深吸进一口气，缓缓呼出，说：“你今天好像很累。” 玛莉说：“他们期待我在短时间内改变一切事，我不知道怎么办。” 汤姆稍停后说：“嗯。” 玛莉说：“我竟然忘了打电话给我姑妈。” 汤姆轻轻皱眉说：“哦，不太应该。” 玛莉说：“她现在很需要我，我觉得很难过。” 汤姆说：“你很有爱心，来，来这儿，让我抱抱你。” 汤姆抱着玛莉，玛莉在他怀里松懈地大叹一声。然后说：“我喜欢和你 说话，你让我真正感到高兴，谢谢你当听众，我现在好多了。”
- #20: 买这个也不错，不过我更喜欢咱们家的那一个老公，我还是喜欢你短头发的样子我觉得慢一点的话会更安全别咬手指头拉，你看，孩子们都看着你那Bill 打了好几次电话了，你要不回一个给他？说不定他要请我们吃饭呢
- #23: Hearing – 生理上的,被背景杂音所干扰Attending – 过滤掉不必要的信息，关注于其中一些的信息Understanding – 对讲到的一些信息有感觉，能听懂Responding – 对讲演者给与给与明确的反馈Remembering – 回忆起信息的能力.研究显示，只有1半的人在听过之后立即记住了他们听到的东西。 而8小时之后， 只有35% 的人能记住了（考虑：内容的复杂程度，说话者的水平，听者的状态，环境。。。）
- #25: 小王：刘总， 我想和您汇报一下这个季度我们部门的销售情况和探讨一下下一步的工作计划（好的，来来，坐下来说）小王：我们这个季度的销售额比去年同期下降了10% ， 销售利润比去年同期下降了20%。（是吗？这可不大好，这是为什么呢？）小王：这主要是由于国际形势不稳定，以及国内物价不断上涨的原因造成的。（哦，是啊，最近大环境是不大好，那你又什么建议吗？）小王：我觉得我们应该在近期搞一下促销策略，以及加强成本控制，从开源节流两个方面来进行。（恩，听上去建议不错，你回头可以整理一下书面的报告给我吗？）
- #26: 1. Indicate your interest in the person and what he is saying. This invites him to talk. 2. Don’t interrupt, offer an opinion or otherwise prevent the speaker from continuing. Even if the speaker pauses, don’t speak. Let him resume the conversation. 3. Involve your whole body. Maintain good eye contact. Nod when the person makes a point. 4. Make listening sounds like, “Hmmm,” “Really,” “That’s interesting,” “What do you think about that?” This lets the speaker know you are paying attention.
- #29: Keep your arms and legs uncrossed. Tightly crossed arms or legs communicate defensiveness and closed mindednessPosition yourself at an appropriate distance. If you are too distant or too close, the speaker will feel anxiety. About three feet is a comfortable distance for conversation.Learn the art of silent responsiveness
- #33: 不是通过讲话或者文字来传递信息的方式
- #35: 器大者声必闳，志高者意必远
- #41: Repeating - nodding your head when you say "yes," pointing when you give directionsSubstituting - shrugging your shoulders to mean "I don't know"Complementing - scratching your head when you're thinking, hanging your head when you're embarrassedAccenting - pointing when you criticizeRegulating - pausing when you want somebody else to speakContradicting - trying not to appear nervous during a job interview. Audiences put more emphasis on nonverbal cues than on words to decide whether speakers are honest.American’s “
- #45: Passive : 逆来顺受 忍辱负重 不闻不问 放任自流Agressive: 急功近利 咄咄逼人 Pass-agrs: 阳奉阴违 曲意逢迎 明修栈道，暗渡陈仓Assertiveness: 坚定不移 有理有节 不卑不亢 更坚定的沟通这需要有更高级的技巧： 晓之以理，动之以情 -》 威逼，利诱