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Michael Price & Mike McGrath
Excel
2016

In easy steps is an imprint of In Easy Steps Limited
16 Hamilton Terrace · Holly Walk · Leamington Spa
Warwickshire · CV32 4LY
www.ineasysteps.com
Copyright © 2015 by In Easy Steps Limited. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted
in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information
storage or retrieval system, without prior written permission from the publisher.
Notice of Liability
Every effort has been made to ensure that this book contains accurate and current information. However, In Easy Steps
Limited and the author shall not be liable for any loss or damage suffered by readers as a result of any information
contained herein.
Trademarks
Microsoft® and Windows® are registered trademarks of Microsoft Corporation. All other trademarks are acknowledged
as belonging to their respective companies.

Contents
1 Introduction
The Spreadsheet Concept
Microsoft Excel
Microsoft Office 2016
System Requirements
Getting Office 2016
Excel 2016 and Windows 10
The Office 2016 Ribbon
Exploring Excel 2016
Excel Online App
2 Begin with Excel
The Excel Window
Create a Workbook
Add Data to the Worksheet
Build the Worksheet
Fill Cells
Complete the Worksheet
Format the Text
Format the Numbers
Print the Worksheet
Insert, Copy and Paste
Excel Help
Contextual Help
Excel File Formats
3 Manage Data
Use Existing Data
Import Data
Navigate the Worksheet
Scroll with the Wheel Mouse
Keystrokes and Touch
Sort Rows
Find Entries
Filter Information
Remove Duplicate Entries
Check Spelling
Freeze Headers and Labels
Hide Columns or Rows

Protect a Worksheet
4 Formulas and Functions
Number Formats
Text Formats
Relative References
Absolute References
Name References
Operators
Calculation Sequence
Functions
AutoSum
Formula Errors
Add Comments
5 Excel Tables
Create an Excel Table
Edit Tables
Table Styles
Table Totals
Count Unique Entries
Structured References
Calculated Columns
Insert Rows
Custom Sort
Print a Table
Summarize a Table
Convert to a Range
6 Advanced Functions
Function Library
Logical Functions
Lookup/Reference Functions
Financial Functions
Date & Time Functions
Text Functions
Math & Trig Functions
Random Numbers
Other Functions: Statistical
Other Functions: Engineering
Excel Add-ins
Evaluate Formula

7 Control Excel
Audit Formulas
Protect Formulas
Check for Errors
Backup
AutoSave and AutoRecover
Startup Switches
Create a Shortcut
Ribbon Key Tips
Using Key Tips
Collapse the Ribbon
Quick Access Toolbar
Mini Toolbar
Print Worksheets
8 Charts
Create a Chart
Default Chart Type
Change Chart Layout
Legend and Data Table
Change Chart Type
Pie Chart
3-D Pie Chart
3-D Column Chart
Share Price Data
Line Chart
Stock Chart
Mixed Types
Print Charts
9 Macros in Excel
Macros
Create Macros
Record a Macro
Apply the Macro
View the Macro
Macro to Make a Table
Edit the Macro
Use the Macro
Create Macros with VBA
Add Macros to the Toolbar
Debug Macros

10 Templates and Scenarios
Templates
Online Templates
More Excel Resources
What-If Analysis
Summary Reports
Goal Seek
Optimization
Project Worksheet
Solver
11 Links and Connections
Link to Workbooks
Create External References
Styles of Reference
Source Workbook Changes
Apply the Updates
Turn Off the Prompt
Save Workbook Online
Using the Excel Online App
Excel in Word
Publish as PDF (or XPS)

1
Introduction
This chapter shows how the spreadsheet, the electronic counterpart of the paper ledger, has evolved in Excel, taking
advantage of the features of the different versions of Microsoft Office, and the Windows operating system.
Microsoft Excel
System Requirements
Getting Office 2016
Excel Online App

Spreadsheets, in the guise of the accountant’s ledger sheet, have been in use for many,
many years. They consisted of paper forms with a two-dimensional grid of rows and
columns, often on extra-large paper, forming two pages of a ledger book, for example
(hence the term “spread sheet”). They were typically used by accountants to prepare
budget or financial statements. Each row would represent a different item, with each
column showing the value or amount for that item over a given time period. For example,
a forecast for a 30% margin and 10% growth might show:
Ledger sheets pre-date computers and handheld calculators, and have been in use for
literally hundreds of years.
Any changes to the basic figures would mean that all the values would have to be
recalculated and transcribed to another ledger sheet to show the effect, e.g. for a 20%
margin and 60% growth:
To make another change, to show 10% margin and 200% growth, for example, would
involve a completely new set of calculations. And, each time, there would be the
possibility of a calculation or transcription error creeping in. With the advent of the
personal computer, a new approach became possible. Applications were developed to
simulate the operation of the financial ledger sheet, but the boxes (known as cells) that
formed the rows and columns could store text, numbers, or a calculation formula based on
the contents of other cells. The spreadsheet looked the same, since it was the results that
were displayed, rather than the formulas themselves. However, when the contents of a cell
were changed in the spreadsheet, all the cells whose values depended on that changed cell
were automatically recalculated.

The first spreadsheet application was VisiCorp’s VisiCalc (visible calculator). Numerous
competitive programs appeared, but market leadership was taken first by Lotus 123, and
now by Microsoft Excel.
This new approach allowed a vast improvement in productivity for various activities, such
as forecasting. In the second example shown on the previous page, you’d set up the initial
spreadsheet using formulas, rather than calculating the individual cell values. A
spreadsheet might contain these values and formulas, for example:
The = sign signals to Excel that what follows is a formula and must be calculated.
However, what will be displayed in the cells are the actual values that the formulas
compute, based on the contents of other cells:
When you want to see the effect of changes, such as different values for margin and
growth, for example, you change just those items and instantly see the effect, as the values
calculated by the formulas are adjusted and redisplayed. The capabilities of the
spreadsheet applications have evolved, and the use of spreadsheets has extended far
beyond the original use for financial planning and reporting. They can now handle any
activity that involves arrays of values interrelated by formulas, grading examination
scores, interpreting experimental data, or keeping track of assets and inventories, for
example. In fact, the newest spreadsheet applications seem to support just about any
possible requirement.
Sets of predefined functions were added, plus support for writing small programs, or

macros, to manipulate the data. Further developments incorporated graphs, images, and
audio.

Microsoft Excel
VisiCalc and Lotus 123 were MS-DOS programs, subject to its command-line interface,
but Microsoft Excel was developed for Windows. It was the first spreadsheet program to
allow users to control the visual aspects of the spreadsheet (fonts, character attributes, and
cell appearance). It introduced intelligent cell recomputation, where only cells dependent
on the cell being modified are updated (previous spreadsheet programs recomputed
everything all the time, or waited for a specific Recalc command). Later versions of Excel
were shipped as part of the bundled Microsoft Office suite of applications, which included
programs like Microsoft Word and Microsoft PowerPoint. Versions of Excel for Microsoft
Windows and Office include:
1987 Excel 2.0 Windows
1995 Excel 95 (v7.0) Office 95
1997 Excel 97 (v8.0) Office 97
1999 Excel 2000 (v9.0) Office 2000
2001 Excel 2002 (v10) Office XP
2003 Excel 2003 (v11) Office 2003
2007 Excel 2007 (v12) Office 2007
2010 Excel 2010 (v14) Office 2010
2013 Excel 2013 (v15) Office 2013 / Office 365

2015 Excel 2016 (v16) Office 2016 / Office 365
There are also versions of Excel designed specifically for the Apple Macintosh (“Mac”)
computers – starting from Excel 1.0!
The newer versions of Excel provide many enhancements to the user interface, and
incorporate connections with Microsoft Office and other applications. The basis of the
program, however, remains the same. It still consists of a large array of cells, organized
into rows and columns, containing data values or formulas with relative or absolute
references to other cells. This means that many of the techniques included in this book
will be applicable to whichever version of Excel you may be using, or even if you are
using a spreadsheet from another family of products, though, of course, the specifics of the
instructions may need to be adjusted.
In this book, the New icon pictured above is used to highlight new or enhanced features in
Excel 2016.

Microsoft Office 2016 is the latest version of Microsoft Office, and it is available in a
variety of editions, including:
• Office Home & Student 2016 (PC & Mac)
• Office Home & Business 2016 (PC & Mac)
• Office Professional 2016
There are volume licensing versions for larger organizations:
• Office Standard 2016 (PC & Mac)
• Office Professional Plus 2016
There is also a subscription version of Microsoft Office known as Office 365, and this is
also available in a number of editions:
• Office 365 Home (PC & Mac)
• Office 365 Personal (PC & Mac)
• Office 365 University
• Office 365 Business
• Office 365 Enterprise
All of these editions include Microsoft Excel 2016. Whichever edition you obtain, your
copy of Excel 2016 incorporates all the features and uses the Office result-oriented user
interface, with the Ribbon, File tab, BackStage, Galleries, and Live Preview, etc.
Excel 2016 also uses the Microsoft Office file format, OpenXML, as the default file
format. This is based on XML and uses ZIP compression, so the files will be up to 75%
smaller than those in the older Microsoft Office file formats.
Other shared Office features include the Document Theme, which defines colors, fonts,
and graphic effects for a spreadsheet or other Office document, and collaboration services
for sharing spreadsheets and documents with other users.

The Office Online apps work in conjunction with OneDrive, the online storage associated
with your Microsoft account (or your Office 365 account, if you have a subscription).
Office Online Apps
Microsoft offers a free, web-based version of Office; this includes online versions of
Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and OneNote. These online apps feature user interfaces similar
to the full desktop products, and allow you to access Office documents, including Excel
spreadsheets, via your browser. They also make it easier for you to share documents with
users who may not have Office 2016 on their systems. However, the Office Online apps
do not support the full feature set of the desktop products.

System Requirements
To install and run Excel 2016, your computer should match or better the minimum
hardware and operating system requirements for Office 2016. If you are upgrading to
Office 2016, from Office 2010 or Office 2013, the hardware should already meet the
requirements – though you may need to upgrade your operating system. For an upgrade
from earlier versions of Office you will need to check that both hardware and operating
system meet the minimum specifications for Office 2016. This includes:
Operating system
Windows 7, Windows RT, Windows 8/8.1, Windows 10
(32-bit or 64-bit) or Windows Server 2008/R2 or later
(64-bit)
Processor
Memory
Hard disk
1GHz or higher (32-bit or 64-bit)
2GB (PC) or 4GB (Mac)
3GB (PC) or 6GB (Mac)
Monitor 1280 x 800 resolution or higher
Internet
Broadband connection recommended for download,
product activation and OneDrive
These are minimum requirements. You may need other components (e.g. a sound card) for
some Excel features.

Office 2016 (32-bit) runs on both 32-bit and 64-bit systems. Microsoft recommends this,
rather than the 64-bit version, for add-in compatibility.
Your computer must also meet the hardware requirements for your chosen operating
system. These may exceed the minimum specifications for Office 2016, especially with
advanced systems, such as Windows 10 with Multitouch function.
Additional Software Requirements
If you have another computer running an earlier version of Office, and you need to work
with Excel files in the Office 2016 format, you can download the Microsoft Office
Compatibility Pack, from microsoft.com/downloads. This will allow older versions of
Excel to read the new file format.

Getting Office 2016
You can buy your preferred version of Microsoft Office 2016 in disk format from a retail
source, or download it from Microsoft. Windows 10 provides a default “Get Office” item
on the Start menu that launches your web browser at the Office download page
products.office.com. Here, you can select one of the Office 365 subscription-based
versions of Microsoft Office 2016. These provide fully installed Office apps that work
across multiple devices and are continuously upgraded – so are always up to date. For
example, you might choose the Office 365 Personal version, which lets you use Office on
one PC, one tablet, and one phone. This also gives you a massive 1TB of storage for one
user.
To compare the various versions of Office 365 visit products.office.com/en-
us/buy/compare-microsoft-office-products
Click the Get Office tile or Start menu item – to launch your web browser
Select your version then enter the purchase details – to begin installation
Take a break until the Office completion dialog appears

Microsoft is eager to encourage adoption of the subscription versions – Office 365
Personal edition also includes 60 minutes per month of Skype calls to cellphones and
landlines.

With Microsoft Office 2016 installed under Windows 10, you have a number of ways to
launch Excel 2016:
The installation of Office should have added colored icons for various Office apps
on the Windows Desktop taskbar. Click the green icon ‘X’ to launch the Excel
2016 app
In either Desktop or Tablet mode, click or tap the Start button, then choose All
apps
Now, scroll down the A-Z list to the E category heading
Choose the Excel 2016 item to launch the Excel 2016 app
These options are available for the Windows 10 operating system.

You can right-click the Excel 2016 item on the All apps list and select Pin to taskbar if
the Excel icon isn’t already visible on the taskbar.
In the taskbar Search box, type “excel” to search for the Excel app on your system
Now, click or tap the Excel 2016 item from the search results to launch the Excel
2016 app
Say “Hey Cortana” into your system microphone to wake up your Personal Digital
Assistant
Now, say “start Excel” into the microphone to launch the Excel 2016 app

You can right-click the Excel 2016 item on the All apps list and select Pin to Start to add
a tile to the Tablet mode Start screen and Desktop mode Start group.
Cortana is new in Windows 10 but performance may vary by region. If Cortana is not
working or enabled in your country try setting your region to “United States” in Settings
> Time & language > Region & language.

The menus and toolbars used in earlier versions of Excel have been replaced by the
Ribbon. With this, commands are organized in logical groups, under command tabs –
Home, Insert, Page Layout, Formulas, Data, Review and View tabs – arranged in the
order in which tasks are normally performed. When you click any of these tabs, the
corresponding commands display in the Ribbon.
Other Office 2016 apps (Word, Access, Outlook, and PowerPoint) also have a Ribbon,
which displays tabs appropriate to that particular app.
The Ribbon may also include contextual command tabs, which appear when you perform
a specific task. For example, if you select some data and then click Insert Column Chart
in the Charts group, chart tool tabs Design, Layout, and Format are displayed.
The File tab displays the BackStage view, which provides general document file
functions, plus Share, Export and the Excel Options.

You can minimize the Ribbon, to make more room on the screen:
Click the Ribbon Display Options button and select Show Tabs
The tabs will still be displayed but the commands will be hidden
The Ribbon and the commands are redisplayed as a temporary overlay whenever
you click a tab, or when you use the Alt key shortcuts (see here)
You can also choose Auto-hide Ribbon. Excel runs full-screen with no tabs or commands
visible. Click the top of the application to display the Ribbon when it’s hidden.

Office 2016 applications offer two interfaces – Mouse or Touch, where the latter is
optimized for operation with touch-enabled devices. To add this option to the Quick
Access Toolbar, click the down arrow and select Touch/Mouse Mode.
Touch/Mouse Mode
To enable Touch Mode:
Click the down arrow on the Quick Access Toolbar, then choose the Touch option
The Ribbon displays with extra spacing between buttons

If you are used to a previous version of Excel, you may not always know where to find the
features you need. The following table lists some of the actions that you may want to carry
out, and indicates the Ribbon tabs and groups where the associated commands for these
actions may be found in Excel 2016:
Action Tab Groups
Create, open, save, print, share, or
export files, or change options
File
Backstage Commands – Info,
New, Open, Save, Save As, Print,
Share, Export, Close, Account,
Options, and Feedback
Format, insert, delete, edit or find
data in cells, columns, and rows
Home
Number, Styles, Cells, and Editing
groups
Create tables, charts, sparklines,
reports, slicers, and hyperlinks
Insert
Tables, Charts, Sparklines, Filters,
and Links groups
Set page margins, page breaks, print
areas, or sheet options
Page
Layout
Page Setup, Scale to Fit, and
Sheet Options groups
Find functions, define names, or
troubleshoot formulas
Formulas
Function Library, Defined Names,
and Formula Auditing groups
Import or connect to data, sort and
filter data, validate data, flash fill
values, or perform a what-if analysis
Data
Get External Data, Connections,
Sort & Filter, and Data Tools
groups
Check spelling, review and revise,
and protect a sheet or workbook
Review
Proofing, Comments, and
Changes groups
Change workbook views, arrange
windows, freeze panes, and record
macros
View
Workbook Views, Window, and
Macros groups

Explore the Ribbon tabs and command groups in Excel 2016 to find the features that you
need to carry out activities on your worksheets.
There is a Tell Me text box on the Excel 2016 Ribbon where you can enter words and
phrases, to quickly locate features or get help on what you want to do.
If you want to locate a particular command, you can search the list of all of the commands
that are available in Excel 2016 (see below).
To display the list of available commands:
Click the down arrow on the Quick Access Toolbar to display the Customize menu
(see here) and select the option for More Commands
Click the box Choose commands from, and select All Commands

Scroll the list and move the Mouse pointer over a command name, and the Tool
Tip will indicate the tab and group containing that command – for example:
You can also right-click the Ribbon and select Customize the Ribbon to display the list of
commands and view the associated tool tips.
Some of the commands may not currently be included in any group and so are shown as
Commands not in the Ribbon. You can use Customize to Add any of these commands to
the Quick Access Toolbar or to the Ribbon.

Excel Online App
To use the Excel and other Office Online apps:
Launch your web browser and visit office.com, then sign into Office Online with
your Microsoft Account
Select the Office Online app you want to use, such as the Online Excel app
Open a blank workbook to begin working on a new spreadsheet
Office Online apps are touch-friendly web applications that let you create, edit and share
your Excel, Word, PowerPoint and OneNote files from any browser. They can be used
with your OneDrive storage.

The functions provided in the Excel Online app are limited and you’ll be offered a reduced
set of tabs and commands.

2
Begin with Excel
We start with a simple workbook, to show what’s involved in entering, modifying, and formatting data, and in
performing calculations. This includes ways in which Excel helps to minimize the effort. We cover printing, look at
Excel Help, and discuss the various file formats associated with Excel.
The Excel Window
Create a Workbook
Build the Worksheet
Fill Cells
Complete the Worksheet
Format the Text
Format the Numbers
Print the Worksheet
Insert, Copy and Paste
Excel Help
Contextual Help
Excel File Formats

The Excel Window
When you launch Excel, you usually start with the Excel window displaying a blank
workbook called “Book1”:
Each workbook opens in its own window, making it easier to switch between workbooks
when you have several open at the same time.
Move the mouse over a command icon in one of the groups (e.g. in Alignment, on
the Home tab) to see the command description
Click the down-arrow next to a command (e.g. Merge & Center) to show the list
of related commands
Click the arrow by the group name (e.g. Alignment) to see the associated dialog
box

Select other tabs to view other cell formatting options
The Home tab contains all the commands for basic worksheet activities, in the Clipboard,
Font, Alignment, Number, Styles, Cells, and Editing groups.
By default, Excel provides one array of data (called a worksheet) in the workbook. This is
named “Sheet1”. Click the + button to add “Sheet2”, “Sheet3”, etc.
These are the theoretical limits for worksheets. For very large numbers of records, a
database program may be a more suitable choice.
Each worksheet is the equivalent of a full spreadsheet and has the potential for up to
1,048,576 x 16,384 cells, arranged in rows and columns. The rows are numbered 1, 2, 3
and onwards, up to a maximum of 1,048,576. The columns are lettered A to Z, AA to ZZ,
and then AAA to XFD. This gives a maximum of 16,384 columns. The combination gives
a unique reference for each cell, from A1 right up to XFD1048576. Only a very few of
these cells will be visible at any one time, but any part of the worksheet can be displayed
on the screen, which acts as a rectangular “porthole” onto the whole worksheet.

The actual number of cells shown depends on screen resolution, cell size, and display
mode (e.g. with Ribbon minimized or full-screen).
Use the scroll bars to reposition the screen view, or type a cell reference into the name
box, e.g. ZN255.
One worksheet is usually all you need to create a spreadsheet, but it can sometimes be
convenient to organize the data into several worksheets. See here for other ways to
navigate through the worksheet using arrow keys, scroll functions, and split views.

Create a Workbook
We will start by creating a simple, personal budget workbook, to illustrate the processes
involved in creating and updating your Excel spreadsheet.
When Excel opens, it offers a list of recent workbooks and allows you to open
other workbooks, or you can select the blank workbook which is named “Book1”
by default – this can be used as the starting point for your new workbook
Type the spreadsheet title “My Personal Budget” in cell A1, and press the down-
arrow, or the Enter key, to go to cell A2 (or just click cell A2 to select it)
The Excel Start screen displays templates, and lists recent workbooks. You could select a
predefined workbook template from those stored on your computer, or online at the
Microsoft website.
Text is automatically aligned to the left of the cell, numbers are aligned to the right.

Continue to add text to the cells in column A, pressing the down-arrow or Enter to
move down after each, to create labels in cells A2 to A13:
Income
Salary
Interest/dividend
Total income
Expenses
Mortgage/rent
Utilities
Groceries
Transport
Insurance
Total expenses
Savings/shortage
Click the File tab, and select Save (or press the Ctrl + S keyboard shortcut)
Select a location (in OneDrive or on your computer, then type a file name, e.g.
“My Personal Budget”, and click Save, to add the workbook to the selected
storage area

If the text is already available in another document, you can copy and paste the text, to
save typing.
Save the workbook regularly while creating or updating spreadsheets, to avoid losing your
work if a problem arises with the system.
Click Add a tag to classify the workbook, with Tag words, such as Title, or Subject. If
you create numerous workbooks, these details can help you manage and locate your
information.

Exploring the Variety of Random
Documents with Different Content

But my Old Man is going to get his scotch! . . . If they yank me off at
every railroad station and shoot me at sunrise each new day,—my
Old Man is going to get his scotch!
"Bully for you," said George Keets.
"All the same," argued the May Girl, "I think benedictine smells
better."
With a little gaspy breath somebody discovered what had happened
to the Village.
"Who did that?" demanded Paul Brenswick.
"You did!" snapped young Kennilworth.
"I didn't, either," protested Brenswick.
"Why of all cheeky things!" cried the Bride.
"Now see here," I admonished them, "you're all very tired and very
irritable. And I suggest that you all pack off to bed."
Helping the May Girl up from her cramped position, George Keets
bent low for a single exaggerated moment over her proffered hand.
"I certainly think you are making a mistake, Miss Davies," bantered
young Kennilworth. "For a long run, of course, Mr. Keets might be
better, but for a short run I am almost sure that you would have
been jollier in the brown bungalow with me."
"Time will tell," dimpled the May Girl.
"Then I really may consider us—formally engaged?" smiled George
Keets, still bending low over her hand. He was really rather amused,
I think—and quite as much embarrassed as he was amused.
"No, not exactly formally," dimpled the May Girl. "But until breakfast
time to-morrow morning."
"Until breakfast time to-morrow morning," hooted young
Kennilworth. "That's the deuce of a funny time-limit to put on an
engagement . . . It's like asking a person to go skating when there
isn't any ice!..."

"Is it?" puzzled the May Girl.
"What the deuce do you expect Keets to get out of it?" quizzed
young Kennilworth.
In an instant the May Girl was all smiles again. "He'll get mentioned
in my prayers," she said. "'Please bless Mr. Keets, my fiancé-till-to-
morrow-morning.'"
"That's certainly—something," conceded George Keets.
"It isn't enough,"—protested Kennilworth.
The May Girl stared round appealingly at her interlocutors.
"But the time is so awfully short," she said, "and I did want to get
engaged to as many boys as possible in the week I was here."
"What—what!" I babbled.
"Yes, for very special reasons," said the May Girl, "I would like to get
engaged to as many——"
With a strut like the strut of a young ban tam rooster, Rollins pushed
his way suddenly into the limelight.
"If it will be the slightest accommodation to you," he affirmed, "you
may consider your self engaged to me to- morrow!"
Disconcerted as she was, the May Girl swallowed the bitter,
unexpected dose with infinitely less grimace than one would have
expected. She even smiled a little.
"Very well, Mr. Rollins," she said, "I will be engaged to you—to-
morrow."
Young Kennilworth's dismay exploded in a single exclamation. "Well
—you—certainly are an extraordinary young person!"
"Yes, I know," deprecated the May Girl. "It's because I'm so tall, I
suppose——"
Before the unallayed breathlessness of my expression she wilted like
a worried flower.

"Yes, of course, I know, Mrs. Delville," she acknowledged, "that
mock marriages aren't considered very good taste . . . But a mock
engagement?" she wheedled. "If it's conducted, oh, very—very—
very properly?" Her eyes were wide with pleading.
"Oh, of course," I suggested, "if it's conducted very— very—very
properly!"
Across the May Girl's lovely pink and white cheeks the dark lashes
fringed down.
"There—will—be—no—kissing, affirmed the May Girl.
"Oh, Shucks!" protested young Kennilworth. "Now you've spoiled
everything."
Out of the corner of one eye I saw Rollins nudge Paul Brenswick. It
was not a facetious nudge, but one quite markedly earnest. The
whole expression indeed on Rollins's face was an expression of acute
determination.
With laughter and song and a flicker of candlelight everybody filed
up-stairs to bed.
Rollins carried his candle with the particularly unctuous pride of one
who leads a torchlight procession. And as he turned on the upper
landing and looked back, I noted that- behind the almost ribald
excitement on his face there lurked a look of poignant wistfulness.
"I've never been engaged before," he confided grinningly to Paul
Brenswick. "I'd like to make the most of it . . ."
Passing into my own room I flung back the casement windows for a
revivifying slash of wind and rain, before I should collapse utterly
into the white scrumptiousness of my bed. Frankly, I was very tired.
It must have been almost midnight when I woke to see my
Husband's dark figure silhouetted in the bright square of the door.
Through the depths of my weariness a consuming curiosity
struggled.
"Did Ann Woltor come back?" I asked.

"She did!" said my Husband succinctly.
"And how did you get on with Allan John?"
"Oh, I'm crazy about Allan John," I yawned amiably. And then with
one of those perfectly inexplainable nerve-explosions that astonishes
no one as much as it astonishes oneself I struggled up on my elbow.
"But he's still got my best silver saltshaker in his pocket!" I cried.
It was then that the scream of a siren whistle tore like some fear-
maddened voice through the whole house. Shriller than knives it
ripped and screeched into the senses! Doors banged! Feet thudded!
"There's Allan John now!" I gasped. "It's the whistle the May Girl
gave him!"
CHAPTER III
EVERYBODY looked pretty tired when they came down to breakfast
the next morning. But at least everybody came down. Even Rollins!
Never have I seen Rollins so really addicted to coming down to
breakfast!
Poor Allan John, of course, was all overwhelmed again with
humiliation and despair, and quite heroically insistent on removing
his presence as expeditiously as possible from our house party. It
was his whistle that had screeched so in the night. And as far as he
knew he hadn't the slightest reason or excuse for so screeching it
beyond the fact that, rousing half-awake and half-asleep from a
most horrible nightmare, he had reached instinctively for the little
whistle under his pillow, and not realizing what he was doing, cried
for help, not just to man alone it would seem, but to High Heaven
itself!
"But however in the world did you happen to have the whistle under
your pillow?" puzzled the Bride.
"What else have I got?" answered Allan John.

He was perfectly right! Robbed for all time of his wife and child,
stripped for the ill-favored moment of all personal moneys and
proofs of identity, sojourning even in other men's linen, what did
Allan John hold as a nucleus for the New Day except a little silver toy
from another person's shipwreck? (Once I knew a smashed man
who didn't possess even a toy to begin a new day on so he didn't
begin it!)
"Well, of course, it was pretty rackety while it lasted," conceded
young Kennilworth. "But at least it gave us a chance to admire each
other's lingeries."
"Negligées," corrected George Keets.
"I said 'scare-clothes'!" snapped young Kennilworth. "Everybody who
travels by land or sea or puts in much time at house parties ought to
have at least one round of scare- clothes, one really chic 'escaping
suit.'"
"The silver whistle is mine," intercepted the May Girl with some
dignity. "Mine and Allan John's. I found it and gave it to Allan John.
And he can blow it any time he wants to, day or night. But as long
as you people all made so much fuss about it—and looked so funny,"
dimpled the May Girl transiently, "we will consider that after this—
any time the whistle blows—the call is just for me." The May Girl's
gravely ingenuous glance swept down in sudden challenge across
the somewhat amused faces of her companions, "Allan John—is
mine!" she confided with some incisiveness. "I found him—too!"
"Do you acknowledge that ownership, Allan John!" demanded young
Kennilworth.
Even Allan John's sombre eyes twinkled the faintest possible glint of
amusement.
"I acknowledge that ownership," acquiesced Allan John.
"Now see here!—I protest," rallied George Keets. "Most emphatically
I protest against my fiancée assuming any masculine responsibilities
except me during the brief term of our engagement!"

"But your engagement is already over!" jeered young Kennilworth.
"Nice kind of Lochinvar you are—drifting down-stairs just exactly on
the stroke of the breakfast bell!—'until breakfast time' were the
terms, I believe. Now Rollins here has been up since dawn! Banging
in and out of the house! Racing up and down the front walk in the
rain! Now that's what I call real passion!"
At the very first mention of his name Rollins had come sliding way
forward to the edge of his chair. He hadn't apparently expected to be
engaged till after breakfast. But if there was any conceivable chance,
of course——
"All ready—any time!" beamed Rollins.
"Through—breakfast time was what I understood," said George
Keets coldly.
"Through breakfast time was—was what I meant," stammered the
May Girl. From the only too palpable excitement on Rollins's face to
George Keets's chill immobility she turned with the faintest possible
gesture of appeal. Her eyes looked suddenly just a little bit
frightened. "A—after all," she confided, "I—I didn't know as I feel
quite well enough to-day to be engaged so much. Maybe I caught a
little cold yesterday. Sometimes I don't sleep very well. Once——"
"Oh, come now," insisted young Kennilworth. "Don t, for Heaven's
sake, be a quitter!"
"A—'quitter'?" bridled the May Girl. Her cheeks went suddenly very
pink. And then suddenly very white. Like an angry little storm-cloud
that absurd fluff of gray hair shadowed down for an instant across
her sharply averted face. A glint of tears threatened. Then out of the
gray and the gold and the blue and the pink and the tears, the
jolliest sort of a little-girl-giggle issued suddenly. "Oh, all right!" said
the May Girl and slipped with perfect docility apparently into the
chair that George Keets had drawn out for her.
George Keets I really think was infinitely more frightened than she
was, but in his case, at least, a seventeen years' lead in experience
had taught him long since the advisability of disguising such

emotions. Even at the dining-table of a sinking ship George Keets
I'm almost certain would never have ceased passing salts and
peppers, proffering olives and radishes, or making perfectly sure that
your coffee was just exactly the way you liked it. In the present
emergency, to cover not only his own confusion but the May Girl's,
he proceeded to talk archaeology. By talking archaeology in an
undertone with a faintly amorous inflection to the longest and least
intelligible words, George Keets really believed I think that he was
giving a rather clever imitation of an engaged man. What the May
Girl thought no one could possibly have guessed. The May Girl's face
was a study, but it was at least turning up to his! Whether she
understood a single thing he said, or was only resting, whether she
was truly amused or merely deferring as long as possible her
unhappy fate with Rollins, she sat as one entranced.
Slipping into the chair directly opposite them, young Kennilworth
watched the proceedings with malevolent joy. Between his very
frank contempt for the dulness of George Keets's methods, and his
perfectly palpable desire to keep poor Rollins tantalized as long as
possible, he scarcely knew which side to play on.
Everybody indeed except Ann Woltor seemed to take a more or less
mischievous delight in prolonging poor Rollins's suspense. Allan John
never lifted his eyes from his coffee cup, but at least he showed no
signs of disapproval or haste. Even George Keets, to the eyes of a
close observer, seemed to be dallying rather unduly with his knife
and fork as well as with his embarrassment.
As the breakfast hour dragged along, poor Rollins's impatience grew
apace. Fidgeting round and round in his chair, scowling ferociously at
anyone who dared to ask for a second service of anything, dashing
out into the hall every now and then on perfectly inexplainable
errands, he looked for all the world like some wry-faced clown
performing by accident in a business suit.
"Really, Rollins," admonished my Husband. "I think it would have
been a bit more delicate of you if you'd kept out of sight somehow
till Keets' affair was over—this hovering round so through the

harrowing last moments—all ready to pounce—hanged if I don't
think it's crude!"
"Crude?—it's plain buzzard-y!" scoffed Kennilworth.
It was the Bride's warm, romantic heart that called the time- limit
finally on George Keets's philandering.
"Really, I don't think it's quite fair," whispered the Bride. Taken all in
all I think the Bridegroom was inclined to agree with her. But
stronger than anybody's sense of justice, it was a composite sense
of humor that sped Rollins to his heart's desire. Even Ann Woltor, I
think, was curious to see just how Rollins would figure as an
engaged man.
The May Girl's parting with George Keets was at least mercifully
brief.
"Does he kiss my hand?" questioned the May Girl.
"No—I think not," flushed George Keets. Having no intention in the
world of kissing any woman in earnest, it was not in his code,
apparently, to kiss a young girl in fun. Very formally, with that frugal,
tight-lipped smile of his which contrasted so curiously with the rather
accentuated virility of his shoulders, he rose and bowed low over the
May Girl's proffered fingers. "Really it's been a great honor. I've
enjoyed it immensely!" he conceded.
"Thank you," murmured the May Girl. In a single impulse everybody
turned to look at Rollins, only to find that Rollins had disappeared.
"Hi, there, Rollins! Rollins!" shouted young Kennilworth. "You're
losing time!"
As though waiting dramatically for just this cue, the hall portieres
parted slightly, and there stood Rollins grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
with a great bunch of purple orchids clasped in one hand! Now we
are sixty miles from a florist and the only neighbor of our
acquaintance who boasts a greenhouse is a most estimable but
exceedingly close-fisted flower-fancier, who might under certain
conditions, I must admit, give bread at the back door, but who never

under any circumstances whatsoever has been known to give
orchids at the front door. Nor did I quite see Rollins even in a rain-
storm actually breaking laws or glass to achieve his floral purpose.
Yet there stood Rollins in our front hall, at half- past nine in the
morning, with a very extravagant bunch of purple orchids in his
hand.
"Well—bully for you!" gasped young Kennilworth. "Now that's what I
call not being a mutt!"
Beaming with pride Rollins stepped forward and presented his
offering, the grin on his face never wavering.
"Just a—just a trifling token of my esteem, Miss Davies!" he
affirmed. "To say nothing of—of——"
The May Girl, I think, had never had orchids presented to her
before. It is something indeed of an experience all in itself to see a
young girl receive her first orchids. The faint astonishment and
regret to find that after all they're not nearly as darling and cosy as
violets or roses or even carnations—the sudden contradictory flare of
sex-pride and importance—flashed like so much large print across
the May Girl's fluctuant face.
"Why—why they're—wonderful!" she stammered.
Producing from Heaven knows what antique pin-cushion a hat- pin
that would have easily impaled the May Girl like a butterfly against
the wall, Rollins completed the presentation. But the end it seemed
was not yet. Fumbling through his pockets he produced a small wad
of paper, and from that small wad of paper a large old-fashioned
seal ring with several strands of silk thread dangling from it.
"Of course at such short notice," beamed Rollins, "one couldn't
expect to do much. But if you don't mind things being a bit old-
timey,—this ring of my great uncle Aberner's—if we tie it on—
perhaps?"
Whereupon, lashing the ring then and there to the May Girl's
astonished finger, Rollins proceeded to tuck the May Girl's whole

astonished hand into the crook of his arm, and start off with her—
still grinning—to promenade the long sheltered glassed-in porch,
across whose rain-blurred windows the storm raged by more like a
sound than a sight.
The May Girl's face was crimson!
"Well it was all your own idea, you know, this getting engaged!"
taunted Kennilworth.
It was not a very good moment to taunt the May Girl. My Husband
saw it I think even before I did.
"Really, Rollins," he suggested, "you mustn't overdo this arm-in-arm
business. Not all day long! It isn't done! Not this ball-and-chain idea
any more! Not this shackling of the betrothed!"
"No, really, Rollins, old man," urged young Kennilworth, "you've got
quite the wrong idea. You say yourself you've never been engaged
before, so you'd better let some of us wiser guys coach you up a bit
in some of the essentials."
"Coach me up a bit?" growled Rollins.
"Why, you didn't suppose for a minute, did you," persisted young
Kennilworth tormentingly, "that there was any special fun about
being engaged? You didn't think for a moment, I mean, that you
were really going to have any sort of good time to-day? Not both of
you, I mean?"
"Eh?" jerked Rollins, stopping suddenly short in his tracks, but with
the May Girl's reluctant hand still wedged fast into the crook of his
arm, he stood defying his tormentor. "Eh? What?"
"Why I never in the world," mused Kennilworth, "ever heard of two
engaged people having a good time the same day. One or the other
of them always has to give up the one thrilling thing that he yearned
most to do and devote his whole time to pretending that he's
perfectly enraptured doing some stupid fuddy-duddy stunt that the
other one wanted to do. It's simply the question always—of who
gives up! Now, Miss Davies for instance—" Mockingly he fixed his

eyes on the May Girl's unhappy face. "Now, Miss Davies," he
insisted, "more than anything else in the world to-day what would
you like to do?"
"Sew," said the May Girl.
"And you, Mr. Rollins," persisted Kennilworth. "If it wasn't for Miss
Davies here—what would you be doing to-day?"
"I?" quickened Rollins. "I?" across his impatient, irritated face, an
expression of frankly scientific ecstasy flared up like an explosion.
"Why those shells, you know!" glowed Rollins. "That last
consignment! Why I should have been cataloging shells!"
"There you have it!" cried Kennilworth. "Either you've got to sew all
day long with Miss Davies—or else she'll have to catalog shells with
you!"
"Sew?" hooted Rollins.
"Oh, I'd just love to catalog shells!" cried the May Girl. In that single
instant the somewhat indeterminate quiver of her lips had bloomed
into a real smile. By a dexterous movement, released from Rollins's
arm, she turned and fled for the door. "Up-stairs, you mean, don't
you?" she cried. The smile had reached her eyes now. In another
minute it seemed as though even her hair would be all laughter. "At
the big table in the upper hall? Where you were working yesterday?
One, on one side of the table—and one—the other? And one, the
other!" she giggled triumphantly.
With unflagging agility Rollins started after her.
"What I had really planned," he grinned, "was a walk on the beach."
"Arm—in—arm!" mused young Kennilworth.
"Eh! You think you're smart, don't you!" grinned Rollins.
"Yes, quite so," acknowledged Kennilworth. "But if you really want to
see smartness on its native heath just pipe your eye to-morrow
when I dawn on the horizon as an engaged man!"

"You?" called the May Girl. Staring back through the mahogany
banisters her face looked fairly striped with astonishment.
"You certainly announced your desire," said Kennilworth, "to go right
through the whole list. Didn't you?"
"Oh, but I didn't mean—everybody," parried the May Girl. Her mouth
and her eyes and her hair were all laughing together now. "Oh,
Goodness me—not everybody!" she gesticulated, with a fine air of
disdain.
"Not the married men," explained the Bride.
"No, I'm sure she discriminated against the married men," chuckled
the Bridegroom.
"Well—she sha'n't discriminate against me!" snapped young
Kennilworth. Absurd as it was he looked angry. Young Kennilworth,
one might infer, was not accustomed to having women discriminate
against him. "You made the plan and you'll jolly-well keep to it!"
affirmed young Kennilworth.
"Oh, all right," laughed the May Girl. "If you really insist! But for a
boy who's as truly unselfish as you are about nursery-governessing
other people's Pom dogs, and saving your last taste of anything for
your old Old Daddy—you've certainly got the worst manners!
"Manners!" drawled George Keets. "This is no test. Wait—till you see
his engagement manners!"
"Oh, she'll 'wait' all right!" sniffed young Kennilworth, and turned on
his heel.
Paul Brenswick, searching hard through the shipping news in the
morning paper, looked up with a faint shadow of concern.
"What's the grouch?" he questioned.
Standing with her hands on her Bridegroom's shoulders the Bride
glanced back from the stormy window to Kennilworth's face with a
somewhat provocative smile.
"Well—it was in the mind of God, wasn't it?" she said.

"What was!" demanded young Kennilworth.
"The rain," shrugged the Bride.
"Oh—damn the rain!" cried young Kennilworth. "I wish people
wouldn't speak to me! It drives me crazy I tell you to have
everybody babbling so! Can't you see I want to work? Can't anybody
see—anything?" Equally furious all of a sudden at everybody, he
swung around and darted up the stairs. "Don't anybody call me to
lunch," he ordered. "For Heaven's sake don't let anyone be idiot
enough to call me to lunch."
Even Ann Woltor's jaw dropped a bit at the amazing rudeness and
peevishness of it.
It was then that the beaming grin on Rollins's face flickered out for a
single instant of incredulity and reproach.
"Why—Miss Woltor!" he choked, "you didn't have your tooth fixed—
after all!"
With a great crackle of paper every man's face seemed buried
suddenly in the shipping news.
"No!" I heard my Husband's voice affirm with extravagant precision,
"not the slightest mention anywhere of any maritime disaster."
"Not the slightest!" agreed George Keets.
"Not the slightest!" echoed Paul Brenswick with what seemed to me
like quite unnecessary monotony.
It was the Bride who showed the only real tact. Slipping her hand
casually into Ann Woltor's hand she started for the Library.
"Let's go see if we can't find something awfully exciting to read to-
day," she suggested. Once across the library threshold her voice
lowered slightly. "Really, Miss Woltor," she confided, "there are times
when I think that Mr. Rollins is sort of crazy."
"So many people are," acquiesced Ann Woltor without emotion.

Caroming off to my miniature conservatory on the pretext of
watering my hyacinths I met my Husband bent evidently on the
same errand. My Husband's sudden interest in potted plants was
bewitching. Even the hyacinths were amused I think. Yet even to
prolong the novelty of the situation there was certainly no time to be
lost about Rollins.
"Truly Jack," I besought him, "this Rollins man has got to be
suppressed."
"Oh, not to-day—surely?" pleaded my Husband. "Not on the one
engagement day of his life? Poor Rollins—when he's having such a
thrill?"
"Well—not to-day perhaps," I conceded with some reluctance. "But
to-morrow surely! We never have been used you know to starting off
the day with Rollins! And two breakfasts in succession? Well, really,
it's almost more than the human heart can stand. Far be it from
me," I argued, "to condone poor Allan John's lapse from sobriety or
advocate any plan whatsoever for the ensnaring of the very young
or the unwary; but all other means failing," I argued, "I should
consider it a very great mercy to the survivors if Rollins should wake
to-morrow with a slight headache. No real cerebral symptoms you
understand—nothing really acute. Just——!"
"Oh, stop your fooling!" said my Husband. "What I came in here to
talk to you about was Miss Woltor."
"'Woltor' or 'Stoltor'?" I questioned.
"Who said 'Stoltor'?" jerked my Husband.
"Oh, sometimes you say 'Woltor' and sometimes you say 'Stoltor'!" I
confided. "And it's so confusing. Which is it— really?"
"Hanged if I know!" said my Husband.
"Then let's call her Ann," I suggested.
With an impulse that was quite unwonted in him my Husband
stepped suddenly forward to my biggest, rosiest, most perfect pot of

pink hyacinths, and snapping a succulent stem in two thrust the
great gorgeous bloom incongruously into his button-hole. Never in
fifteen years had I seen my Husband with a flower in his button-
hole. Neither, in all that time, had I ever seen him flush across the
cheek-bones just exactly the shade of a rose-pink Hyacinth. I could
have hugged him! He looked so confused.
"Oh, I say—" he ventured quite abruptly, "Miss Woltor and I, you
know,—we never went near the dentist yesterday!"
"So I inferred," I said, "from Rollins's observation. What were you
doing?" Truly I didn't mean to ask, but the long- suppressed wonder
most certainly slipped.
"Why we were just arguing!" groaned my Husband. "Round and
round and round!"
"Round—what?" I questioned—now that the slipping had started.
"Round and round the country?"
"Country, no indeed!" grinned my Husband unhappily. "We never left
the place!"
"Never—left the place?" I stammered. "Why, where in Creation were
you?"
"Why, first," said my Husband, "we were down at the end of the
driveway right there by the acacia trees, you know. She was crying
so I didn't exactly like to strike the state highway for fear somebody
would notice her. And then afterward—when I saw that she really
couldn't stop——"
"Crying?" I puzzled. "Ann Woltor—crying?"
"And then afterward," persisted my Husband, "we went over to the
Bungalow on the Rock and commenced the argument all over again!
Fortunately there was some tea there and crackers and sardines and
enough firewood. But it was the devil and all getting over! We ran
the car into the boat-house and took the punt! I thought the surf
would smash us, but——"

"But what was the 'argument'?" I questioned.
"Why about her coming back!" said my Husband. "She was so
absolutely determined not to come back! I never in my life saw such
stubbornness! And if she once got away I knew perfectly well that
she never would come back! That she'd drop out of sight just as—
And such crying!" he interrupted himself with apparent irrelevance.
"Everything smashed up altogether at once!—Hadn't cried before,
she said, for eight years!"
"Well, it's time she cried, the poor dear!" I affirmed sincerely. "But
——"
"But I couldn't bring her back to the house!" insisted my Husband.
"Not crying so, not arguing so!"
"No, of course not," I agreed.
"I kept thinking she'd stop!" shivered my Husband.
"Jack," I asked quite abruptly, "Who is Ann Woltor?"
"Search me!" said my Husband, "I never saw her before."
"You—never saw her—before!" I stammered. "Why—why you called
her by name!—you——"
"I knew her face," said my Husband. "I've seen her picture. In
London it was. In Hal Ferry's studio. Fifteen years ago if it's a day. A
huge charcoal sketch all swoops and smouches.— Just a girl holding
up a small hand-mirror to her astonished face.—'The woman with
the broken tooth' it was called."
"Fifteen years ago?" I gasped. "'The—the woman with the broken
tooth!' What a—what a name for a picture!
"Yes, wasn't it?" said my Husband. "And you'd have thought
somehow that the picture would be funny, wouldn't you? But it
wasn't! It was the grimmest thing I ever saw in my life! Sketched
just from memory too it must have been. No man would have had
the cheek to ask a woman to pose for him like that,— to reduplicate
just for fun I mean that particular expression of bewilderment which

he had by such grim chance surprised on her unwitting face. Such
shock! Such astonishment! It wasn't just the astonishment you
understand of Marred Beauty worrying about a dentist. But a look
the stark, staring, chain-lightning sort of look of a woman who, back
of the broken tooth, linked up in some way with the accident of the
broken tooth, saw something, suddenly, that God Himself couldn't
repair! It was horrid, I tell you! It haunted you! Even if you started
to hoot you ended by arguing! Arguing and—wondering! Ferry finally
got so that he wouldn't show it to anybody. People quizzed him so."
"Yes, but Ferry?" I questioned.
"No," said my Husband. "It was only by the merest chance that I
heard the name Ann Stoltor associated in any way with the picture.
Hal Ferry never told anything. Not a word. But he never exhibited
the picture, I noticed. It was a point of honor with him, I suppose. If
one lives long enough, of course, one's pretty apt to catch every
friend off guard at least once in his facial expression. But one
doesn't exhibit one's deductions I suppose. One mustn't at least
make professional presentation of them."
"Yes, but Ann Woltor—Stoltor," I puzzled. "When she tried to bolt so?
Was it because she knew that you knew Hal Ferry? When you called
her Stoltor and dropped the lantern so funnily when you first saw
her, was it then that she linked you up with this something—
whatever it is that has hurt her so?—And determined even then to
bolt at the very first chance she could get? But why in the world
should she want to bolt?" I puzzled. "Certainly she's had to take us
on faith quite as much as we've taken her. And I?—I love her!"
In the flare of the open doorway George Keets loomed quite
abruptly.
"Oh, is this where you bad people are?" he reproached us. "We've
been searching the house for you."
"Oh, of course, if you really need us," conceded my Husband. "But
even you, I should think, would know a flirtation when you saw it
and have tact enough not to butt in."

"A flirtation?" scoffed Keets. "You? At ten o'clock in the morning? All
trimmed up like an Easter bonnet! And acting half scared to death?
It looks a bit fishy to me, not to say mysterious!"
"All Husbands move in a mysterious way their flirtations to perform,"
observed my Husband.
From one pair of half-laughing eyes to the other George Keets
glanced up with the faintest possible suggestion of a sigh.
"Really, you know," said George Keets, "there are times when even I
can imagine that marriage might be just a little bit jolly."
"Oh never jolly," grinned my Husband, "but there are times I frankly
admit—when it seems a heap more serious than it does at other
times."
"Less serious, you mean," corrected Keets.
"More serious," grinned my Husband.
"Oh, for goodness sake, let's stop talking about us," I protested,
"and talk about the weather!"
"It was the weather that I came to talk about," exclaimed George
Keets. "Do you think it will clear to-day?" he questioned.
For a single mocking instant my Husband's glance sought mine.
"No, not to-day, George," he said.
"U—m!" mused George Keets. "Then in that case," he brightened
suddenly, "if Mrs. Delville is really willing to put up a water-proof
lunch we think it would be rather good sport to go back to the cave
and explore a bit more of the beach perhaps and bring home
Heaven knows what fresh plunder from the shipwrecked trunk."
"Oh, how jolly!" I agreed. "But will Mrs. Brenswick go?"
"Mrs. Brenswick isn't exactly keen about it," admitted Keets. "But
she says she'll go. And Brenswick himself and Miss Woltor and Allan
John—" It was amusing how everybody called Allan John "Allan
John" without title or subterfuge or self- consciousness of any kind.

With their arms across each other's shoulders the Bride and
Bridegroom came frolicking by on their way to the foot of the stairs.
"Oh, Miss Davies!—Miss Davies!" they called up teasingly. "Are you
willing that Allan John should go to the cave to- day?"
Smiling responsively but not one atom teased, the May Girl jumped
up from her tableful of shells and came out to the edge of the
balustrade to consider the matter.
"Allan John! Allan John!" she called. "Do you really want to go?"
"Why, yes," admitted Allan John, "if everybody's going."
Behind the May Girl's looming height and loveliness the little squat
figure of Rollins shadowed suddenly.
"Miss Davies and I are not going," said Rollins.
"Not—going?" questioned the May Girl.
"Not going," chuckled Rollins, "unless she walks with me!" He didn't
say "arm-in-arm." He didn't need to. That inference was entirely
expressed by the absurdly triumphant little glint in his eye.
I don't think the May Girl intended to laugh. But she did laugh. And
all the laugh in the world seemed suddenly "on" Rollins.
"No—really, People," rallied the May Girl, "I'd heaps rather stay here
with Mr. Rollins and work on these perfectly darling shells. One—on
one side of the table—and one on the other."
"We are going to have lunch up here—in fact," counterchecked that
rascally Rollins with a blandness that was actually malicious. "There
is a magnificent specimen here I notice of 'Triton's Trumpet'. The
Pacific Islanders I understand use it very successfully for a tea-
kettle. And for tea-cups. With the aid of one or two Hare's Ears
which I'm almost sure I've seen in the specimen cabinet——"
"'Hare's Ears'?" gasped the May Girl.
"It's the name of a shell, my dear,—just the name of a shell,"
explained Rollins with some unctuousness. "Very comfortable here

we shall be, I am sure!" beamed Rollins. "Very cosy, very scientific,
very ro-romantic, if I may take the liberty of saying so. Very——"
"Oh, Shucks!" interrupted George Keets quite surprisingly. "If Miss
Davies isn't going there's no good in anybody going!"
"Thank—you," murmured Ann Woltor. At the astonishingly new and
relaxed timbre of her voice everybody turned suddenly and stared at
her. It wasn't at all that she spoke meltingly, but the fact of her
speaking meltedly, that gave every one of us that queer little gasp of
surprise. Still icy cold, but fluid at last, her voice flowed forth as it
were for the very first time with some faint suggestion of the real
emotion in her mind. "Thank you—Mr. Keets," mocked Ann Woltor,
"for your enthusiasm concerning the rest of us."
"Oh, I say!" deprecated George Keets. "You know what I meant!" His
face was crimson. "It—it was only that Miss Davies was so awfully
keen about it all yesterday! Everybody, you know, doesn't find it so
exhilarating."
"No-o?" murmured Ann Woltor. In the plushy black somberness of
her eyes a highlight glinted suddenly. Suppressed tears make just
that particular kind of glint. So also does suppressed laughter. "I was
out in a storm—once," drawled Ann Woltor, "I found it very—
exhilarating."
With a flash of rather quizzical perplexity I saw my Husband's glance
rake hers.
Wincing just a little she turned back to me with a certain gesture of
appeal.
"Cry one day and laugh another, is it?" she ventured experimentally.
"Going to the dentist isn't very jolly—you're quite right," interposed
the Bride.
"No, it certainly isn't," sympathized every body.
It was perfectly evident that no one in the party except my Husband
and myself knew just what had happened to the dentistry

expedition. And Ann Woltor wasn't quite sure even yet, I could see,
whether I knew or not. The return home the night before had been
so late the commotion over Allan John's whistle so immediate—the
breakfast hour itself such a chaos of nonsense and foolery. Certainly
there was no object in prolonging her uncertainty. I liked her
infinitely too much to worry her. Very fortunately also she had a
ready eye, the one big compensating gift that Fate bestows on all
people who have ever been caught off their guard even once by a
real trouble. She never muffed any glance I noticed that you wanted
her to catch.
"Oh, I hate to think, Ann dear," I smiled, "about there being any
tears yesterday. But if tears yesterday really should mean a laugh to-
day——"
"Oh, to-day!" quickened Ann Woltor. "Who can tell about to-day!"
"Then you really would like to go?" said George Keets.
Across Ann Woltor's shoulders a little shrug quivered.
"Why, of course, I'm going!" said Ann Woltor.
"Good! Famous!" rallied George Keets. "Now that makes how many
of us?" he reckoned. "Kenmlworth?"
"No, let's not bother about Kennilworth," said my Husband.
"You?" queried George Keets.
"Yes, I'm going," acquiesced my Husband.
"And you, Mrs. Delville, of course?"
"No, I think not," I said.
"Just the Brenswicks then," counted George Keets. "And Allan John
and——"
Once again, from the railing of the upper landing, the May Girl's
wistfully mirthful face peered down through that amazing cloud of
gold-gray hair.

"Allan John—Allan John!" she called very softly. "I'd like to have you
dress warmly—you know! And not get just too absolutely tired out!
And be sure and take the whistle," she laughed very resolutely, "and
if anybody isn't good to you— you just blow it hard—and I'll come."
As befitted the psychic necessities of a very cranky Person- With-a-
Future, young Kennilworth was not disturbed for lunch.
And Rollins, it seemed, was grotesquely genuine in his desire to
picnic up-stairs with the May Girl and the shells. Even the May Girl
herself rallied with a fluttering sort of excitement to the idea. The
shell table fortunately was quite large enough to accommodate both
work and play. Rollins certainly was beside himself with triumph, and
on Rollins's particular type of countenance there is no conceivable
synonym for the word "triumph" except "ghoulish glee." Really it was
amazing the way the May Girl rallied her gentleness and her
patience and her playfulness to the absurd game. She opposed no
contrary personality whatsoever even to Rollins's most vapid desires.
Unable as he was either to simulate or stimulate "the light that never
was on land or sea," it was Rollins's very evident intention
apparently to "blue" his Lady's eyes and "pink" his Lady's cheeks by
the narration at least of such sights as "never were on land or sea"!
Flavored by moonlight, rattling with tropical palms, green as Arctic
ice, wild as a loon's hoot, science and lies slipped alike from Rollins's
lips with a facility that even I would scarcely have suspected him of!
Lands he had never visited— adventures he had never dreamed of
cannibals not yet born— babble—babble—babble—babble!
As for the May Girl herself, as far as I could observe, not a single
sound emanated from her the entire day, except the occasional clank
of her hugely over-sized "betrothal ring" against the Pom dog's
collar, or the little gasping phrase, "Oh, no, Mr. Rollins! Not really?"
that thrilled now and then from her astonished lips, as, elbows on
table, chin cupped in hand, she sat staring blue-eyed and bland at
her— tormentor.
It must have been five o'clock, almost, before the beach party
returned. Gleaming like a great bunch of storm-drenched jonquils,

the six adventurers loomed up cheerfully in the rain-light. Once
again George Keets and the Bridegroom were dragging the Bride by
her hand. Ann Woltor and my Husband followed just behind. Allan
John walked alone.
Even young Kennilworth came out on the porch to hail them.
"Hi, there!" called my Husband.
"Hi, there, yourself!" retaliated Kennilworth.
"Oh, we've had a perfectly wonderful day! gasped the Bride.
"Found the cave all right!" triumphed Keets.
"Allan John found a—found an old-fashioned hoop-skirt!" giggled the
Bride.
"The devil he did!" hooted Rollins.
"But we never found the trunk at all!" scolded the Bridegroom.
"Either we were way off in our calculations or else the sand——"
In a sudden gusty flutter of white the May Girl came round the
corner into the full buffet of the wind. It hadn't occurred to me
before just exactly how tired she looked. "Why, hello, everybody—"
she began, faltered an instant— crumpled up at the waist-line—and
slipped down in a white heap of unconsciousness to the floor.
It was George Keets who reached her first, and gathering her into
his long, strong arms, bore her into the house. It was the first time
in his life I think that George Keets had ever held a woman in his
arms. His eyes hardly knew what to make of it. And his tightened
lips, quite palpably, didn't like it at all. But after all it was those
extraordinarily human shoulders of his that were really doing the
carrying?
Very fortunately though for all concerned the whole scare was over
in a minute. Ensconced like a queen in the deep pillows of the big
library sofa the May Girl rallied almost at once to joke about the
catastrophe. But she didn't want any supper, I noticed, and dallied
behind in her cushions, when the supper-hour came.

"You look like a crumpled rose," said the Bride.
"Like a poor crumpled—white rose," supplemented Ann Woltor.
"Like a very long-stemmed—poor crumpled—white rose," deprecated
the May Girl herself.
Kennilworth brought her a knife and fork, but no smiles.
George Keets brought her several different varieties of his peculiarly
tight-lipped smile, and all the requisite table- silver besides.
Paul Brenswick sent her the cherry from his cocktail and promised
her the frosting from his cake.
The Bride sent her love.
Ann Woltor remembered the table napkin.
Allan John watched the proceedings without comment.
It was Rollins who insisted on serving the May Girl's supper. "It was
his right," he said. More than this he also insisted on gathering up all
his own supper on one quite inadequate plate, and trotting back to
the library to eat it with the May Girl. This also was his right, he said.
Truly he looked very funny there all huddled up on a low stool by the
May Girl's side. But at least he showed sense enough now not to
babble very much. And once, at least, without reproof I saw him
reach up to the May Girl's fork and plate and urge some particularly
nourishing morsel of food into her languidly astonished mouth.
It was just as everybody drifted back from the dining-room into the
library that the May Girl wriggled her long, silken, childish legs out of
the steamer-rug that encompassed her, struggled to her feet,
wandered somewhat aimlessly to the piano, fingered the keys for a
single indefinite moment and burst ecstatically into song!
None of us, except my Husband, had heard her sing before. None of
us indeed, except my Husband and myself, knew even that she
could sing. The proof that she could smote suddenly across the ridge
of one's spine like the prickle of a mild electric shock.

My Husband was perfectly right. It was a typical "Boy Soprano"
voice, a chorister's voice—clear as flame— passionless as syrup. As
devoid of ritual as the multiplication table it would have made the
multiplication table fairly reek with incense and Easter lilies!
Absolutely lacking in everything that the tone sharks call "color"—yet
it set your mind a-haunt with all the sad crimson and purple
splendors of memorial windows! Shadows were back of it! And
sorrows! And mysteries! Bridals! And deaths! The prattle alike of the
very young and the very old! Carol! And Threnody! And a fearful
Transiency as of youth itself passing!
She sang—

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