How to Identify and Ignore False Fears
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The document discusses the psychology behind fear of failure, using the analogy of a tightrope walker to illustrate how perceived consequences influence decision-making. It contrasts high-stakes scenarios with low-stakes situations, emphasizing that many fears of failure are exaggerated and often unfounded. The author suggests that our primal instincts, which associate failure with severe consequences like social rejection, hinder our ability to pursue opportunities and embrace learning from failure.
How to Identify and Ignore False Fears
- 2. If ever decide to become a world class tightrope walker, you should know the most important rule.
- 4. Here's an interesting mind experiment.
- 5. Think of a long, very sturdy, two by four going across two hundred story buildings.
- 6. Ten meters across. No wind.
- 7. Just a bunch of people down below watching.
- 8. Some hoping you do OK, some with their smartphones ready in case you plunge to your death, so they can film it and become YouTube famous.
- 9. Would you do it?
- 10. Probably not.
- 11. How about for ten million dollars?
- 13. Now think about the SAME board going across some grass.
- 15. Would you do it?
- 16. Why not?
- 17. How about for ten grand?
- 18. Hell yea!
- 19. Obviously, the two SEEM very different, but only based on what happens if you fail.
- 20. On the grass, if you fail, you just step onto the grass.
- 21. But how likely is it to fail?
- 22. Walking on a board that's four inches wide is pretty easy. You'd have to walk across while texting your friends or something in order to fall.
- 23. In fact, if it were on grass, you could probably do it blindfolded.
- 24. Now, if it really were across a hundred story drop, it would be kind of a stupid thing to do, even if you COULD get a big stack of cash.
- 25. After all, if you fall, you die.
- 26. Even if the odds of falling are REALLY tiny, those really tiny odds could kill you.
- 27. But how many times do you imagine doing something, only to stop yourself because of what you IMAGINE the "fail" would be like?
- 28. Like talking to a stranger, or starting up your own business, or asking your raise for a boss.
- 29. Not only is failure not likely, but even if you DO fail, it's no big deal.
- 30. So why does it seem so scary?
- 31. Inside all of us is a very ancient, and very scared caveman (or cave girl).
- 32. One that hasn't learned that some "fails" are worse than others.
- 33. One that hasn't learned that MOST "fails" are actually necessary, because they teach you some valuable lessons.
- 34. Your inner caveman thinks every fail means DEATH.
- 35. Or exclusion from the tribe, (kicked out of the social circle) which also means DEATH. Cavemen and women didn't do a good job surviving on their own.
- 36. So we developed this HUGE FEAR of social rejection.
- 37. But just like our HUGE DESIRE to eat everything in front of us whenever we see food, sometimes our instincts are CONTARY to living a conscious, awake, rationally chosen life.
- 38. How can you quiet that cave dude down?