How to stop bullying - a guide for bystanders
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The document provides a guide for bystanders on how to intervene in bullying situations to support victims and deter bullies. It emphasizes the importance of speaking up consistently against teasing, exclusion, cyberbullying, threats, and violence, while outlining specific actions to take in each scenario. The guide stresses that holding bullies accountable through negative consequences is essential for changing their behavior and fostering a more supportive environment.
How to stop bullying - a guide for bystanders
- 1. A guide for bystanders from Jennifer Hancock author of The Bully Vaccine
- 2. Why you must act Bully’s bully because it works. In order to get bullying to stop, the bully needs to receive a negative consequence every time they bully. Victims are often unable to stand up for themselves which means someone needs to stand up for them and it might as well be you. You will be glad you did.
- 3. What to do about teasing Look the bully straight in the eye and calmly tell them to stop. Tell them what the said isn’t nice and they should apologize. Do this every time you witness teasing. No exceptions.
- 4. What to do about exclusion Social rejection is one of the most harmful forms of bullying. If you witness someone being excluded, actively and publicly step in to include them, even if this means you will be excluded too. You don’t want to be friends with mean kids anyway, and you may just give courage to others to stand up for others as well.
- 5. What to do about Cyber Bullying Respond on behalf of others by calmly defending the victim. Simply saying, “that’s not true.” Or “You are being mean. Stop.” is sufficient. You only need to post a simple response once per incidence. Don’t get into a flame war with a cyber bully. If they turn on you, don’t respond. If they are threatening violence or encouraging the victim to commit suicide, take a screen shot and report them.
- 6. What to do about threats Look the bully straight in the eye and calmly tell them to stop. Tell them their behavior isn’t acceptable and that if they act on their threat you will report them. If the bully continues their threats or acts on their threats or turns on you report them. If you think the treat is serious or you overhear someone plotting to hurt another person, report them immediately. Do this every time you witness someone threatening another person. No exceptions.
- 7. What to do about violence If you witness violence against another student, find an adult immediately and ask them to intervene. No exceptions.
- 8. What to expect from the Bully Expect the bully to turn on you. They may threaten you or resort to name- calling. If they do, respond appropriately and show them they do not intimidate you. Don’t tolerate their bad behavior ever. Keep reporting them. It is the only way to get them to stop.
- 9. Crime and Punishment In order to get bullying to stop, the bully needs to receive a negative consequence every single time they engage in undesirable behavior. You are doing the bully a favor by reporting them because the consequences they receive help them to learn more pro-social behavior.
- 10. Be Consistent Speak Up Getting a bully to stop is a process that takes time. The key to getting them to stop is to be consistent. Respond to every incidence of bullying every time. No exceptions. In order to get a bully the cost of bullying must outweigh the benefits. You do that by expressing the socially unacceptable nature of their bad behavior and making sure their bad behavior results in referrals. Peer pressure works wonders. Use that power for good.