Man rules
0 likes219 views
This document presents "rules from the male side" in a humorous way. It lists over 20 "rules" with numbered items suggesting that all the rules are number "1". The rules cover topics like why men look at breasts, who should put the toilet seat down, sports on Saturday, not considering shopping a sport, how hints don't work, time limits on arguments, and other lighthearted stereotypes about gender differences. The conclusion encourages passing it on to other men and women, to give them a laugh or education.
Man rules
- 1. We always hear "the rules"We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Nowfrom the female side. Now here are the rules from thehere are the rules from the male side.male side.
- 2. These are our rules:These are our rules: • Please note... these are allPlease note... these are all numbered "1" ONnumbered "1" ON PURPOSE!PURPOSE!
- 3. 1.1. • Breasts are for looking at and thatBreasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't tryis why we do it. Don't try to change thatto change that
- 4. 1.1. • Learn to work the toilet seat.Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put itYou're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need itdown. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear usdown. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving itcomplaining about you leaving it down.down.
- 5. 1.1. • Saturday = sports. It's like the fullSaturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.moon or the changing of the tides. Let it beLet it be
- 6. 1.1. • Shopping is NOT a sport. And no,Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think ofwe are never going to think of it that way.it that way.
- 7. 1.1. • Crying is blackmail.Crying is blackmail.
- 8. 1.1. • Ask for what you want. Let us beAsk for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:clear on this one: • Subtle hints do not work!Subtle hints do not work! • Strong hints do not work!Strong hints do not work! • Obvious hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work! • JUST SAY IT!JUST SAY IT!
- 9. 1.1. • ‘‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectlyYes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almostacceptable answers to almost every questionevery question
- 10. 1.1. • Come to us with a problem only ifCome to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That'syou want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is whatwhat we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are foryour girlfriends are for
- 11. 1.1. • A headache that lasts for 17A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See amonths is a problem. See a doctordoctor
- 12. 1.1. • Anything we said 6 months ago isAnything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. Ininadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become nullfact, all comments become null and void after 7 daysand void after 7 days
- 13. 1.1. • If you think you're fat, youIf you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask usprobably are. Don't ask us
- 14. 1.1. • If something we said can beIf something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one ofinterpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other onewe meant the other one
- 15. 1.1. • You can either ask us to doYou can either ask us to do something or tell us how you wantsomething or tell us how you want it doneit done • Not bothNot both • If you already know best how toIf you already know best how to do it, just do it yourselfdo it, just do it yourself
- 16. 1.1. • Whenever possible, please sayWhenever possible, please say whatever you have to say duringwhatever you have to say during commercialscommercials
- 17. 1.1. • Christopher Columbus did notChristopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do weneed directions and neither do we
- 18. 1.1. • ALL men see in only 16 colours,ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.like Windows default settings. • Peach, for example, is a fruit, notPeach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. • We have no idea what mauve is.We have no idea what mauve is.
- 19. 1.1. • If it itches, it will be scratched. WeIf it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.do that.
- 20. 1.1. • If we ask what is wrong and youIf we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act likesay "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know younothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worthare lying, but it is just not worth the hasslethe hassle
- 21. 1.1. • If you ask a question you don'tIf you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect anwant an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hearanswer you don't want to hear
- 22. 1.1. • When we have to go somewhere,When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear isabsolutely anything you wear is fine, Reallyfine, Really
- 23. 1.1. • Don't ask us what we're thinkingDon't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are preparedabout unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:to discuss such topics as: – Sex,Sex, – Sport, orSport, or – CarsCars
- 24. 1.1. • You have enough clothesYou have enough clothes
- 25. 1.1. • You have too many shoesYou have too many shoes
- 26. 1.1. • I am in shape. Round is a shape.I am in shape. Round is a shape.
- 27. 1.1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, IThank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on theknow, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you knowcouch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's likemen really don't mind that, it's like camping.camping.
- 28. Pass this to as many men as youPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.can - to give them a laugh.
- 29. Pass this to as many women asPass this to as many women as you can - to give them anyou can - to give them an educationeducation