Mindfulness Session 3 - Judgement
- 3. Outline – Session 3 Homework Debrief Seated Meditation Judgements Judgement strengthens duality Judgement limits reality Judgement creates conflict Mindfulness and judgements Being aware of judgement Judgement Meditation Homework
- 4. Homework Debrief Did you practice the body scan? If so, what was your experience? If you did not practice the body scan, what prevented you from practicing it? What would help you increase your commitment or the likelihood of practicing? Did you pay attention to daily routines? If so, what was your experience? Did you practice mindful eating? What did you experience? Do you have any other questions or concerns?
- 6. Benefit Finding Recall a painful event that you have experienced in the workplace. What were the most negative consequences of this event? Now, focus on the positive aspects and the ways in which the experience has benefited you as a person. For instance, how has the experience helped you better meet the challenges of the future? What did you learn from this experience? How have you changed or grown as a person as a result of the experience?
- 7. Judgements The importance of becoming aware of judgments, without judging them
- 8. Judgement colours reality A judgment is like a pair of glasses or a filter. We see the world through the glasses of our judgment. A judgment stems from our beliefs (“Uneducated people are stupid”, “I’m always unlucky”, “A man is not supposed to cry”) or norms (“One celebrates Christmas with family and friends”)
- 9. Coloured perception: the influence of judgments on perception of reality
- 10. A JUDGMENT STRENGTHENS DUALITY Dichotomous in character – thought of in extremes – good/bad, desirable/undesirable Judging creates duality (contrast) – opposites exist only in relation to each other Two sides of a coin When judging we focus on a specific half of a coin – on one of the two opposites – we don’t see the entire coin – our reality is therefore limited to the one half (with our full attention) At the moment that this separation takes place, we tend to hold onto the good and avoid the bad because we see them as independent from each other – individual events that are unrelated.
- 11. Duality Opposites can only exist in relation to each other A judgment focuses our attention on a specific half
- 12. A JUDGMENT LIMITS REALITY
- 13. A JUDGMENT CREATES CONFLICT Suppose you feel gloomy. By judging this feeling as bad you start a relationship involving struggle with that feeling. The gloomy feeling is there, but it is bad and therefore undesirable. The moment something is judged as undesirable or bad a conflict occurs; namely between how things are now (bad) and how things should be (good). Not only can this conflict cause us to feel upset, it can also encourage us to want to avoid or to escape from the current, as negatively judged, situation. We are encouraged to expend effort to get rid of the feeling, which often leads to the paradoxical effect that the feeling gets stronger. In fact, there is only a problem or conflict when a situation, event or feeling is judged as such.
- 14. Mindfulness and Judgement Mindfulness helps us learn that people, places and things, and events are neither good nor bad, but that our mind labels things as such almost automatically. Events, feelings or persons are not intrinsically good or bad, they “are” simply what they are; events, feelings and persons. Only when we label them as right or wrong, they affect our thoughts and behaviour An important part of mindfulness is to understand judgments. Judgments often happen automatically. This is the conditioned functioning of our mind. There is nothing wrong with that and it is also necessary to interpret the world around us. However, as previously described, judgments may limit us severely or can even be counterproductive if we forget that they don’t reflect reality but our beliefs about reality
- 15. Mindfulness and Judgement By becoming aware of the natural tendency of the mind to judge, the effect of a judgment on our functioning is reduced. The more we become aware of our judgments, the less our minds will tend to label automatically The conversation with the person who is sitting opposite you is no longer limited to the box in which you put this person
- 16. Practice: Being aware of judgements NOT striving to not judge – the mind judges automatically - Try to notice this week as many negative thoughts you have about other people, groups, yourself, situations at work. Become aware of when you are judging things. Become aware of and observe the judgements – try not to judge yourself Simply note this judgment and then return to your breathing, the anchor point of your attention. That it happens is not bad, it is an automatic process. And if you have a judgment, ask yourself who you really see: the person/feeling or just your own judgment. That is how you create room for choice again Once you become aware of the fact that you want to judge something, see if you can let go of the judgment and if you can use a more objective description in which a judgment is not or at least barely present. For example: “He didn’t show up, therefore he doesn’t care about me” versus “I was there, he wasn’t there”. Or: “He was wearing ugly shoes” versus “His shoes were not quite my taste”. It can be really helpful to train your mind this way.
- 17. An inspiring video that shows how important our outlook on reality is for the way we feel about things.
- 18. Jon Kabat-Zinn explains what non-judgment in mindfulness practice means.
- 20. Collaboration As humans it is Important to connect, we connect easier with those we trust – to build trust you need to accept people Be aware of judgements we make about other people We have little control over other people, accept that fact Shift our judgements and perspective – find a way to accept a person as they are and find a way to work with the other person
- 21. Working with difficult people Accepting the person as they are – we are all different and unique Mindfulness gives us the ability to have difficult conversations with emotional intelligence Helps us to be courageous to speak the truth Acknowledge own thoughts and emotions and have the courage to do what is right Using empathy for the self and the other person
- 22. Homework Exercise being aware of judgements at work this week You can use a bracelet or elastic band as a tool. Whenever you find yourself making judgments about yourself, others or situations, simply switch the wrist on which you are wearing the bracelet. Do this switch without judgment, without being hard on yourself, or negative internal dialogue. Just switch in a friendly manner. You may become aware of how often you actually (automatically) judge. This exercise may feel somewhat confrontational, however, it also helps demonstrate in a visceral way that you are becoming more aware of your thoughts and actions. Do the Body Scan and seated meditation as often as possible, preferably on a daily basis. As you do the “Body Scan” or seated meditation, try to pay attention to the judgments you make during or after the exercise: examples of judgments are; “This is useless”, “I can do this well”, “It didn’t go well”, “It should feel different”, etc.
- 23. Log Book Exercise Times performed Observations or perceptions during the exercise Body Scan Seated Meditation Awareness of Judgments
Editor's Notes
- #6: INSTRUCTIONS In this meditation, we’re going to use our breath as an anchor for our attention. Before we start, it is really important to let go of goals and the idea of performing well. Simply allow yourself to do this exercise as you do it. Let go of the idea of right and wrong. Simply see how it goes. Now, first make sure your posture is active but comfortable. Sit straight, keep your shoulders relaxed, and keep your head straight. Try to have a posture that signals dignity. If you want, you may now close your eyes. For a moment, just become aware of how you are present in this room, how your body is represented in this room, and how your body is connected to a chair or cushion. Maybe you notice how your feet are touching the floor or making contact with the floor. Simply notice. Maybe you notice any other physical sensations. Maybe you feel pain in your back or tension in your shoulders. That’s okay. Just simply observe it without attempting to make it go away. Just notice your body as it is present right here, right now. Now let’s focus our attention on the breathing. Notice how the air gets in through the nose and how your chest expands when you breathe in. Moreover, notice how it relaxes when you breathe out. You may also notice how your belly moves when you breathe. You do not need to control your breath or modify it, simply witness it as it naturally occurs. Breathing in and breathing out. Allow yourself to be present in this moment. Sooner or later, often sooner, you will find yourself distracted. Maybe you get distracted by thoughts or sounds or sensations in your body. That is fine. That is just how your mind works. You can always turn your attention back to your breath and let go of distractions. Thus, breathe in and breathe out. Rather than focusing on the breathing in a rigid way, let your attention softly rest on the breathing. Do not force yourself. With an open and gentle attitude, follow your breathing. Every time you find yourself distracted, come back with a gentle attitude. Do not punish yourself. It is okay. It is just how your mind works. Always turn your attention back in a kind way. Thus, breathe in, notice how the body reacts and breathe out. Where is your attention now? Is it still focused on the breathing? Or, is it elsewhere? If you’re distracted, maybe you can notice where your mind drifted: a thought, sensation, an emotion, a sound, and then bring it back. Even if you find yourself being distracted many times, remind yourself that you are always the one who can turn your attention back. You have the power to do that. You can decide to come back to this present moment simply by focusing on something that is occurring right now in this moment. In this case, your breath. Now if you want, you may slowly open your eyes again. Come back with your attention, in this room.
- #7: Ask participants to recall a painful event or loss that they have experienced in their life. Next, ask them to respond to the following questions: What were the most negative consequences of this event? Now, focus on the positive aspects and the ways in which the experience has benefited you as a person. For instance, how has the experience helped you better meet the challenges of the future? What did you learn from this experience? How have you have changed or grown as a person as a result of the experience? EXPLAINING THE GOAL OF THE EXERCISE The goals of this exercise are for participants to experience that: Nothing is only 100% good or 100% bad Everything has some good and some bad By judging, we ignore the endless complexity of a situation
- #8: 2.14 minutes
- #11: Duality is contrast. Good versus bad, beautiful versus ugly, small versus large, etc. Opposites exist only in relation to each other and cannot exist independently. Good can only exist if there is bad. Light can only be there if there is dark. A teacher can only exist if there are students. Opposites are always part of the same coin. This coin thus consists of two halves; two opposites. The moment that one of these halves falls away, the other half will also no longer exist. Suppose for example that there were no students then there would no longer be a need for teachers. After all, a teacher is only a teacher if there are students to teach. If you were the only person on earth, would you be a good or a bad person, a tall or a small person, would you be a teacher or a student? Absolutely speaking, there cannot exist a student and teacher, no good and bad and no tall and small. One could say that both can only exist in relation to each other. The existence of one half (bad/student/grief) makes the experience of the other half (good/teacher/pleasure) possible (see fig. 2). When we judge, we focus on a specific half of the coin. A judgment focuses on one of the two opposites. We do not see the entire coin, but only one half (see fig. 3). Our reality is limited to this one half. We go there with our full attention. At the moment this separation takes place we tend to hold on to the good and to avoid the bad because we see them independent from each other. They seem to be individual events that are unrelated to each other. Fig. 2. Opposites can only exist in relation to each other
- #18: 4.10 minutes
- #19: 4.13 minutes