Self compassion
- 1. SELF COMPASSION Myths and New Perspectives
- 2. Myths Self compassion is NOT ▪ Self pity ▪ Self indulgence ▪ Staying in a victim mode ▪ Being Irresponsible ▪ Blaming Others for your Mistakes ▪ Lack of remorse. © 2014 www.emofreetherapy.com. All Rights Reserved
- 3. New Perspectives Self compassion is ▪ Being self aware ▪ Accepting your limitations. Also being willing to make changes as and when required. ▪ Being responsible ▪ Accepting yourself – all parts of yourself. ▪ Learning from mistakes © 2014 www.emofreetherapy.com. All Rights Reserved
- 4. How to Develop Self Compassion? ▪ Behave with yourself the way you would expect others to behave with you. ▪ Be gentle with tough feelings. Accept that difficult feelings will arise and it is normal. ▪ Learn to handle difficult feelings. Instead of suppressing feelings become more accepting of them. ▪ Look compassionately at past incidents where you were wronged or hurt, not with pity or self reproach. ▪ Take responsibility when you make a mistake. Learn from it, then let it go. ▪ And allocate some responsibility to others. Everything is not your fault. ▪ Accept and Love your body. © 2014 www.emofreetherapy.com. All Rights Reserved
- 5. Tools to Develop Self Compassion (Stuff that has worked for me and my clients) ▪ TECHNIQUES: EFT (Emotional FreedomTechniques), CBT (Cognitive BehaviorTherapy), Mindfulness and other techniques can you help you feel more compassionate towards yourself. ▪ HUSHYOUR INNER CRITIC: Silence your inner critic more often. Gently motivating yourself is better than constant criticism. ▪ PATIENCE: Be more patient with yourself especially when you are going through a tough time. © 2014 www.emofreetherapy.com. All Rights Reserved
- 6. © 2014 www.emofreetherapy.com. All Rights Reserved ▪ LANGUAGE: Be mindful of the language you use with yourself.Talk to yourself more gently. Use gentle language rather than harsh words. ▪ LAUGHING: Laugh at yourself when you make silly mistakes; not in a mocking or self deprecating manner but with gentleness. ▪ LEARNING: Learn from your mistakes.Take responsibility. Make changes. But don’t be consumed with guilt. Learn to distinguish between small and big things. CONTD.
- 7. By Puja Kanth Alfred www.emofreetherapy.com E-mail: puja@emofreetherapy.com References: Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity. Blog Article: http://eftforpeace.wordpress.com/2011/03/06/self- compassion/ Contact Details: ▪ Phone: +91 9677248146 ▪ Website: www.emofreetherapy.com CONNECTON: ▪ Twitter http://twitter.com/#!/EmofreeTherapy ▪ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Emofreetherapypage ▪ Linkedin http://www.linkedin.com/in/pujakanth ▪ Google Profile https://plus.google.com/u/0/101575705755763219869 ▪ Slideshare http://www.slideshare.net/puja2008 ▪ Youtube https://www.youtube.com/user/Pujakanth © 2014 www.emofreetherapy.com. All Rights Reserved
Editor's Notes
- #3: Self compassion is not blaming others for your mistakes. Its about taking responsibility for things that went wrong and not blaming yourself. There is a diff between taking responsibilty and leanring frm youor mistakes and in blaming yourself all the time for it.
- #4: According to Kristin Neff (2003), self-compassion involves “being open to and moved by one’s own suffering, experiencing feelings of caring and kindness toward oneself, taking an understanding, nonjudgmental attitude toward one’s inadequacies and failures, and recognizing that one’s experience is part of the common human experience”. now you may ask – hw can I accept myself with the mistakes. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you will keep repeating the mistakes. It simply means becoming aware of where you went wrong and accepting that learning from that. Self balme dorsnt accomplish anything ecept more unnecessary guilt.
- #5: Behavig with yoursel the way you expect otehrs to behave with you is the core according to me. If you are compassionate towards yourself 1. You will be reducing the impact of negative events in your life. 2. You will be more likely to feel motivated and overcome even major setbacks. 3. It will increase your self esteem in turn. In fact, people with high self esteem are the ones who are compassionate towards themselves. 4. You will be feeling more positive and energetic.
- #6: Everything that happened in your life is not your fualt. It cnanot be because at every step of the way we make decisions and in the same way others make decisions and choices.. Others choices affect us and so do ours. Taking all the responsibilty on your self is not necessary. Give some and take some. There is differnece between blaimgn someone and saying that well so and so was resposbile for what happened to me but I can change that now. With Eft, Its possible to work on accepting what happened. It will not make the experience posisitve but it will make it neutral. Internal and external locus of control. In some cultures people place a huigh value on externally driven actions – this happened because of karma, etc… and in some cultures people place imporatnce on individual actions. Both have their value. But in my opiniopn its good to have a more balanced opinion. Take repsonsibilty where its needed and place it on others where that is needed. ?If we keep thinking eveyrthing starts and ends with us, the load will become very heavy. One imporatnt distinction that we need to make is the way we think about responsibity. Whatever someone else has done, at the end of the we think about it, and stay attached ot it. Because what they did is over. We keep it alive within us by we represent within us. This is what nlp talks about. So give and take… best way to be.