Stress Management Resource Guide

KAPLAN UNIVERSITY
HW410 Stress: Critical Issues in Management and
Prevention
StressManagementand
Prevention Program
ResourceGuide
1

K A P L A N U N I V E R S I T Y
Stress Management and Prevention
Program Resource Guide
By
Shannon Felmey
Kaplan University
HW410: Stress: Critical Issues in Management and Prevention
Date of Assignment

Table of Contents
U N I T 1 T H E N A T U R E O F S T R E S S
Information to Remember
Resources: Exercises: Exercises
Tools: Journal Writing: Journal Writing
U N I T 2 T H E P H Y S I O L O G Y O F S T R E S S
U N I T 3 P S Y C H O L O G Y O F S T R E S S
U N I T 4 P E R S O N A L I T Y T R A I T S A N D T H E H U M A N S P I R I T U A L I T Y
Tools: Journal Writing
U N I T 5 D E A L I N G W I T H S T R E S S : C O P I N G S T R A T E G I E S
Resources: Exercises
U N I T 6 R E L A X A T I O N T E C H I Q U E S 1 : B R E A T H I N G , M E D I T A T I O N ,
A N D M E N T A L I M A G E R Y

U N I T 7 N U T R I T I O N A N D S T R E S S
U N I T 8 P H Y S I C A L E X E R C I S E A N D A C T I V I T Y
U N I T 9 A P P L Y I N G S T R E S S : C R I T I C A L I S S U E S F O R M A N A G E M E N T
A N D P R E V E N T I O N T O Y O U R P R O F E S S I O N A L L I F E
A D D I T I O N A L I N F O R M A T I O N
R E F E R E N C E S

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Unit 1: The Nature of Stress
Information to Remember:
 Defining stress: The definition of stress is different for everyone. According to Seaward (2009), stress is
the “experience of a perceived threat (real or imagined) to one’s mental, physical, or spiritual well-being,
resulting from a series of physiological responses and adaptations. Holistic medicine defines stress as
“the inability to cope with a perceived (real or imagined) threat to one’s mental, physical, emotional, and
spiritual well-being, which results in a series of physiological responses and adaptations (Seaward 2009).
 The stress response coined by Walter Cannon is known the fight-or-flight response. This stress
response “describes the dynamics involved in the body’s physiological arousal to survive a threat”
(Seaward 2009). Instinctive human nature is to either fight (face and conquer the stressor), or flight (run
away and not fight the stressor). Although more recent theories have suggested that some people,
especially women, tend to look for help from friends to deal with stress (Seaward 2009).
 Men and women tend to handle stress in different ways. “Generally speaking, men are prone to act
more hostile while women have a proclivity to be more nurturing” (Seaward 2009). Men may work
Unit
1
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through problems by looking for answers or solutions, while women may talk to others and receive
social support in order to conquer problems.
Resources: Exercises:
HW410: Unit 1 Exercises
My Health Philosophy is important to include in this resource list because everyone has a
philosophy, and it is important to understand an individual’s philosophy regarding personal health.
This philosophy is the key to understanding the view of personal health, wellness, and illness from the
individual’s perspective.
EXERCISE 1.2 My Health Philosophy
Life is a kaleidoscope of the infinite variety. No two things are the same. Everyone’s life is
individual.
--Paramahansa Yogananda
We all have philosophies. Philosophies are nothing more than our opinions, dressed up with an
introduction and conclusion—a way to present to someone, even ourselves, what we really think
about some topic or ideal. We have philosophies on everything—the types of music we like and
listen to, the state of world affairs, and even the foods we eat at restaurants.
Now it’s time to examine your philosophy about your health. Based on what you already know,
and perhaps have been taught or exposed to, define as best you can what the words health and
wellness mean to you. After having done this, ask yourself why health is so important and write
a few lines about this.
Given the premise that every issue is a health issue, identify some seemingly non-health issues
such as the global economy, deforestation, or TV programming. See if you can discover the
connection between these issues and your state of well-being. How is your state of health
influenced by stress? Finally, where do you see yourself twenty-five years from now? If you were
to continue your current lifestyle for the next three to four decades, how do you see yourself at
that point in the future? Your health philosophy guides your state of health. What is your health
philosophy? What has influenced your philosophy up to now (e.g., parents, teachers, friends,
books)? Be specific. Take some time to write it down here now. If you need additional space to
write, use the extra pages provided at the back of this book.
My Health Philosophy
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Health is an individual’s opinion regarding a state of well-being, and can be excellent, good,
fair, or poor. This state can also refer to the individual’s physical (body), mental, emotional or
spiritual standing, and each of these areas may be rated differently than other areas. Health can be
improved or it can become worse if not allowed to reach its full potential.
Wellness is the overall picture of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Wellness is
achieved when all of these areas have reached their potential, or when an individual is conscious
about his or her health and is consciously making changes to improve each of these areas. Balance is
the key to obtaining wellness.
Health is important because it determines which path the individual will take in life. For
example, if physical health is good, it can lead to good mental health and allow the individual to
achieve happiness and wholeness. If mental health is poor, it can also lead to poor physical,
emotional, and spiritual health, leaving the individual unable to obtain happiness.
Although television programming seems to be a non-health concern, it can and does lead to
poor health. Television shows are addictive, so people become glued to the television so they do not
miss a minute of a favorite movie or show. Along with the shows and movies come commercials,
which sometimes encourage people to “take a break” and grab a snack or a drink. Most times these
snacks or drinks are probably quick processed foods, such as chips, cookies, soda, or juice.
Television also acts as a substitute for other activities (MedlinePlus 2014), and leads people to
increase sedentary time and decrease physical activity. All of these combinations have led to
increased obesity rates among children, adolescents, and adults. In addition to rising obesity rates,
television can also lead to decreased social interaction with friends and family, especially for children.
When children see violence on television, they may be more apt to show aggressive behavior toward
others, and they may also experience higher rates of attention problems (MedlinePlus 2014). When
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television is limited or avoided, such as in this household, other activities are encouraged instead of
watching television, such as playing outside or engaging in physical activity. I am making conscious
efforts to encourage my boys to lead a healthy lifestyle with healthy food choices and physical
activity, and very little television or other sedentary activities.
My state of health sometimes suffers in times of high stress. For years, I have battle obesity,
and I was a “stress eater,” always eating high fat, high calorie foods in an attempt to feel better. In the
past year, I have significantly decreased the “stress eating” and I have made conscious efforts to make
healthier food choices. I have also been exercising more consistently than in the past, and I have
found that exercise helps me to reduce stress. I have also occasionally done some Yoga or
meditation, but it is something that I need to make part of my normal daily routine.
In twenty-five years from now, I see myself living happily married, spending time with my
kids and grandkids, and starting to slow down in my career so that I have more time for family and
leisure activities. I have worked hard to lose weight, and I intend to keep it off. I plan to stay on track
with my exercising, hopefully continuing to run, do Zumba, and visit the gym on a regular basis. I
also see myself with someone who shares the same views as I do regarding health, diet, and exercise.
If I would continue this current lifestyle for the next three to four decades, I believe I would be burned
out from all of the stress that I currently endure. Although I am somewhat comfortable with my stress
level right now, I know that I will eventually be able to decrease or change some of the current
stressors in my life. These stressors include school (I will graduate in April), work (I will be able to
find a different job with a less hectic schedule), and my boys will be more settled in school.
My health philosophy is to obtain and maintain optimal health in all aspects; physical, mental,
emotional, and spiritual. Although my divorce was a low point for me, it was also a turning point and
has influenced my health philosophy. Following my divorce, I made the decision to change my life
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around and to increase my health and well-being as much as possible in every possible area. This was
when I returned to school, lost weight, changed my eating habits, became more consistent with
exercising, and started attending church on a regular basis. I have also been influenced by the past
classes that I have taken. These classes have strengthened my values and beliefs regarding health and
wellness. I have always wanted to turn more toward non-drug treatments for any illnesses or
problems that I have encountered, but I do understand that medications sometimes play a part in the
healing process. I also have not realized how much spirituality plays a role in my own health and
well-being until I started attending church in the last three years. My church family has played a huge
role in helping to increase my spiritual health, as well as my overall wellness. They have been there
to help me through my divorce, and they have also helped me in countless other ways, including yard
work, moving to a new house, and supporting me when I felt mentally and spiritually low.
The Wellness Paradigm Revisited is an important resource because there are four aspects the
compose health and wellness. These aspects include mind, body, spirit, and emotions, and all of these
aspects must work together to form the wholeness of an individual’s health and wellness.
EXERCISE 1.6 The Wellness Paradigm
Revisited
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Ageless wisdom tells us that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts and that all parts
must be looked at equally as part of the whole. In terms of health and wellness, the whole is
made up of four components: mind, body, spirit, and emotions. Additionally, ageless wisdom
suggests that holistic wellness is composed of the integration, balance, and harmony of these
four components—that each aspect of our being is so connected to the other three that no
separations exist. Looking at one component— say, our physical health—merits paying attention
to the other three because of the dynamic interconnectedness of the mind, body, spirit, and
emotions. What might seem like common sense has not always been so well accepted in
American culture. For over three hundred years, the Western mind has focused on the physical
aspects of health, leaving the other three components in the shadows. Beginning in the early
1960s, the mental, emotional, and spiritual components of health were looked at with somewhat
distant interest; only in the past decade has the interconnection of mind, body, and spirit gained
respect (and popularity) in Western science. It has been said recently that every issue is a health
issue, meaning that issues such as economic downswings, political instability, rainforest
depletion, and moral bankruptcy all ultimately affect our health. To recognize our own health
status, we must remind ourselves that we are more than just our physical bodies. We must come
to appreciate the true integration, balance, and harmony of mind, body, spirit, and emotions.
Here are some questions to ponder as you explore your own health philosophy, values, and
beliefs. If you need additional space to write, use the extra pages provided at the back of the
book.
1. Given the dynamics of the wellness paradigm, how does it compare with the common notion
that health is the absence of disease?
It seems to be apparent that many people view health as the absence of disease. When someone is
diagnosed with a chronic disease, many people will instantly feel that they have poor health.
However, some people are able to feel healthy even with a diagnosis of a chronic disease, such as
breast cancer. For example, although a woman may have been diagnosed with breast cancer, she may
feel that she has good or excellent health, especially if she is in remission. Mental, emotional, and
spiritual health may all be good even though her physical health may have deteriorated following
chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Health is more of an opinion of an individual’s personal
well-being.
2. What is your definition of wellness? Do you believe that the whole is greater than the sum of
the parts? Can you think of an example in music, politics, or the arts that demonstrates this
ageless wisdom?
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My definition of wellness is the overall picture of the four aspects of health; physical, mental,
emotional, and spiritual. I truly believe that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts, especially
when talking about health and wellness. Although an individual may have good physical health, that
individual must also have good emotional, mental and spiritual health in order to maintain wellness.
An example in music that shows this ageless wisdom would be a music note. A music note can be
seen, played, or sung, but by itself it means nothing. The whole song is greater than the sum of the
parts since it is composed of individual notes, instruments, and a voice. Although each of these is
important in their own way, none of them are as important as the sum of these parts when they are all
combined to form a song.
3. What do you think it means to be an integrated person, to enjoy balance and harmony
among your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects? Do you feel this within
yourself? If not, why not? Can you identify which aspect(s) you feel are not in balance?
An integrated person is an individual that uses holistic practices to achieve and maintain balance
and harmony among mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual aspects. Although I have not always
felt this balance, I have definitely begun to find a balance in the past year, and I plan on continuing to
improve and maintain this balance. I feel that there currently is some balance, but I have been
working hard to find this balance. Less than three years ago, I started going to church regularly, and
only since then I have realized that I need to have the spiritual balance in my life. I feel that the
mental aspect is still slightly out of balance, mainly due to stress from working long hours and having
no set schedule. I know that this will improve in a few months when I am able to look for a different
job. I will keep working at all aspects of my life to be sure that I maintain the balance that I have
worked hard to achieve. When something else happens that causes stress, I can re-evaluate each
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aspect of my life and decide which aspect needs attention at that time in order to be sure that I do not
lose more balance.
Tools: Journal Writing:
HW410: Unit 1 Journal Writing Assignment
“Are You Stressed?” is a short questionnaire regarding behaviors related to stress. Although it does not
include all possible stress-related behaviors, it does include some common behaviors, which can allow an
individual to focus on stress and learn ways of changing negative behaviors.
EXERCISE 1.1 Are You Stressed?
Although there is no definitive survey composed of 20 questions to determine if you are stressed or burnt out
or just exactly how stressed you really are, questionnaires do help increase awareness that, indeed, there may
be a problem in one or more areas of your life. The following is an example of a simple stress inventory to
help you determine the level of stress in your life. Read each statement, and then circle either the word Agree
or Disagree. Then count the number of "Agree" points (one per question) and use the Stress Level Key to
determine your personal stress level.
Statement: Agree Disagree
1. I have a hard time falling asleep at night. Agree Disagree
2. I tend to suffer from tension and/or migraine headaches. Agree Disagree
3. I find myself thinking about finances and making ends meet. Agree Disagree
4 .I wish I could find more to laugh and smile about each day. Agree Disagree
5. More often than not, I skip breakfast or lunch to get things done. Agree Disagree
6. If I could change my job situation, I would. Agree Disagree
7. I wish I had more personal time for leisure pursuits. Agree Disagree
8. I have lost a good friend or family member recently. Agree Disagree
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9. 1 am unhappy in my relationship or am recently divorced. Agree Disagree
10. I haven't had a quality vacation in a long time. Agree Disagree
11. I wish that my life had a clear meaning and purpose. Agree Disagree
12. I tend to eat more than three meals a week outside the home. Agree Disagree
13. I tend to suffer from chronic pain. Agree Disagree
14. 1 don't have a strong group of friends to whom I can turn. Agree Disagree
15. I don't exercise regularly (more than three times per week). Agree Disagree
16. I am on prescribed medication for depression. Agree Disagree
17. My sex life is very satisfying. Agree Disagree
18. My family relationships arc less than desirable. Agree Disagree
19. Overall, my self-esteem can be rather low. Agree Disagree
20. 1 spend no time each day dedicated to meditation or centering. Agree Disagree
Stress Level Key
Less than 5 points You have a low level of stress and maintain good coping skills.
More than 5 points You have a moderate level of personal stress.
More than 10 points You have a high level of personal stress.
More than 15 points You have an exceptionally high level of stress.
©Paramount Wellness Institute. Reprinted with permission. All rights reserved.
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Sleep is important for everyone, especially when enduring stress. “A Good Night’s Sleep” is important
to allow and individual to focus on sleep patterns, as well as showing how stress can cause problems with
sleeping.
EXERCISE 1.4 A Good Night’s Sleep
Sleep is one of the basic human drives. Most health books don’t talk much about it,
despite the fact that you spend over one-third of your life in that state. The fact is that
we tend to take the behavior of sleep for granted, unless, of course, we feel we don’t
get enough of it. We are told that the average person sleeps six to eight hours a night,
with an occasional nap here and there. Truth be told, over half of Americans get much
less than this. Eight hours may be recommended, but it is not the norm. A poor
night’s sleep cascades into a poor waking day. Over time, the results will ultimately affect
all aspects of health.
Whatever your sleep patterns were before you started college, chances are that
they have changed dramatically since then. By and large, the freedom connected with
college life tends to throw off sleep patterns. Instead of hitting the hay around 10 P.M.
or 11 P.M., you might not lay your head on the pillow until 1 A.M. or 2 A.M. On weekends
you may go to bed at sunrise, rather than waking up to see it. And let us not forget
the all-nighters that tend to become habit forming during midterm and final
exams.
Since the 1950s, scientists have been studying sleeping behaviors and sleeping
patterns in earnest. With over forty years of data collection, you’d think they would
have some solid answers; the truth is, no one really knows why we sleep. There are all
kinds of theories about the need to have rest, but to date there seems to be a lack of
evidence as to what actually goes on during the night hours. Interestingly enough, we
do know what happens when we don’t get enough sleep. Memory and motor coordination
fade rapidly, and performance, in all aspects, is greatly compromised—as many
a college student will attest to when pulling a series of all-nighters.
Describe your sleeping patterns. Are your sleep habits regular? Do you go to
bed and get up about the same time every day? How have your sleeping patterns
changed since you entered college? Do you make a habit of pulling all-nighters? Do
you have problems sleeping at night? Do you have a hard time getting up in the
morning? What are some of the patterns you see with your sleep?
I have only recently (about a month ago) started tracking my sleep with my FitBit, after
receiving some encouragement to do so from a friend. I function best on 7-8 hours, but I have
adapted to functioning on 5-6 hours when needed. I also have found out that I cannot only
sleep 5-6 hours more than one night in a row. I am usually in bed between 10pm-11pm, but my
wake up times vary between 4:30 am if I work or sometimes 7:30-8am if I am off. I also have
two young boys, so they usually wake up early, even on days off. I do not pull all-nighters, and
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I never started that habit when I went to nursing school 10 years ago. I know that I need my
sleep to function and I never wanted to try to function without sleep. I usually do not have a
problem sleeping, although I admit that occasionally, I do have a restless night. I do not like to
wake up early, but once I am awake, I stay awake for a while. I have never set a snooze alarm,
so I force myself to get up right away and start my day. According to my FitBit, I have had only
six days in the past 36 days that I have had less than seven hours of sleep (this was when I
bought my FitBit). I am really glad that I have invested the time for research and money for the
FitBit because it not only shows me how active I am, but it is also tracking my sleep so that I can
see a pattern and where I need to improve. I make every attempt to get at least seven hours of
sleep per night so that I feel rested in the morning, which is very important for my job.
Unit 2: The Physiology of Stress
 Stress causes responses from three of the body’s physiological systems, including the nervous system,
endocrine system, and the immune system. The limbic system, which is part of the central nervous
system, houses the hypothalamus, which controls many functions including appetite and emotions.
Peripheral nervous system activates sympathetic and parasympathetic neural drives and triggers the
release of epinephrine, norepinephrine, and multiple hormones (Seaward 2009).
Unit
2
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 The fast-paced American lifestyle has led many Americans to attempt multitasking because they feel that
they are constantly on a time limit to get things done. Multitasking creates more stress and less time to
rest, which leads to a vicious cycle of increased stress (Seaward 2009).
 Chronic stress can lead to many physical, mental, and emotional problems. The immune system
becomes suppressed with prolonged levels of high stress, leading to many possible illness, including
depression, anxiety, hypertension, and obesity. Many different types of relaxation techniques are
available and should be used on a regular basis to help decrease stress levels and risk for acute or chronic
illnesses (Seaward 2009).
HW410: Unit 2 Exercise
The following exercise is an important aspect of this resource guide in order to understand the immediate,
intermediate, and prolonged stress effects on an individual’s body. Some of the effects listed here may
bring awareness to an individual regarding stress that may have not been realized previously.
EXERCISE 2.2 Immediate, Intermediate, and
Prolonged Stress Effects
As noted in Chapter 2, the stress response has immediate (seconds), intermediate
(minutes to hours), and prolonged (days) effects through which the symptoms of
physical stress can manifest. To reinforce your understanding of each phase of this
physiological process, please take a moment to reflect on how your body reacts to
stress through these three processes.
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1. What do you feel when immediately threatened?
a. Tingling sensations Yes No
b. Sweating Yes No
c. Muscle tension (e.g., jaw muscles) Yes No
d. Rapid heart rate Yes No
e. Rapid breathing (or holding your breath) Yes No
f. Rush of blood to your face and neck (blushing) Yes No
g. Other watery eyes___________________________________________________
2. How would you best classify your body’s intermediate (within hours) response to stress?
a. Tension headache Yes No
b. Migraine headache Yes No
c. Sore neck and shoulders Yes No
d. Sore throat Yes No
e. Allergies Yes No
f. Stomachache Yes No
g. GI tract problems Yes No
h. Other loss of appetite
i. Other poor mood
j. Other
3. What do you notice as long-term effects of prolonged stress (five to ten days)?
a. Cold or flu Yes No
b. Acne (broken-out face blemishes) Yes No
c. Herpes flare-up (around lips) Yes No
d. Menstrual period irregularities Yes No
e. Other physical pain
f. Other GI problems-lack of or increased appetite/bowel irregularities
g. Other
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“Are You a Product of Your Culture” is a checklist to help an individual understand the fast-
paced American culture, and how much stress this culture can cause. This questionnaire should
remind an individual to slow down once in a while and take some time to decrease the amount of
stress that is being felt.
EXERCISE 2.1 Are You a Product of Your Culture?
The following questions are based on various behaviors observed in individuals in society. Please
answer each question as you really behave, not how you would like to be, by circling Yes or No
as appropriate.
1. I keep my cell phone on throughout the day so I won’t miss any calls or texts. Yes No
2. I use my Facebook account more often than my email account. Yes No
3. I tend to leave the water running while brushing my teeth. Yes No
4. I eat more than one prepared meal out of the house each day. Yes No
5. During the day, I constantly check emails and text messages as they come in. Yes No
6. I drive rather than take mass transit to and from work/college regularly. Yes No
7. I typically take my laptop, BlackBerry, etc., on vacation with me. Yes No
8. I have been known to flush unused medications down the toilet. Yes No
9. I get more of my news from Comedy Central (e.g., The Daily Show, The Colbert Report)
than newspapers, National Public Radio, TV news, or Internet portals. Yes No
10. I spend less than one hour outside each day in a natural setting. Yes No
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11. I regularly interact (leave comments) on Web sites I visit. Yes No
12. I find that I rely more and more on the Internet for information (e.g., MapQuest, Google) and
less on memory retention. Yes No
13. More often than not, I digitally record my favorite TV shows and watch them at a time of my
preference. Yes No
14. I recycle all cans, bottles, newspapers, and so forth. Yes No
15. I start to feel antsy if I cannot check my email, text messages, and Facebook accounts each
hour or more often. Yes No
16. I spend more time inside playing video games or on the Internet than time spent outside in
nature each day. Yes No
17. I check my emails, tweets, Facebook updates, and so forth within 10 minutes of waking up
each morning. Yes No
18. I have one or more tattoos as a means of self-expression. Yes No
19. I own more than one cell phone and often use them both at the same time (e.g., for phone
calls, apps, Google). Yes No
20. I make more than one purchase online each week. Yes No
21. I dread answering the onslaught of emails each day. Yes No
22. I get a bit of a rush or excitement when my cell phone rings. Yes No
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23. I text message my friends and parents more than I call them by phone. Yes No
24. I watch more movies via the Internet or Netflix than in a movie theater. Yes No
25. I make an effort to buy organic produce each week. Yes No
26. I have more than 50 Web sites bookmarked on my computer. Yes No
27. I have more than 250 friends on Facebook. Yes No
28. I purchase plastic water bottles rather than use a stainless steel one. Yes No
29. I have more than 25 apps on my smartphone. Yes No
30. I watch at least one YouTube video per day. Yes No
31. The majority of my purchases are via credit card or debit card, not cash. Yes No
32. I post an update to Facebook at least once a day. Yes No
33. I belong to more than one social networking Web site. Yes No
34. I prefer to read books on a Kindle or an iPad rather than printed books. Yes No
Results: The purpose of these questions is to increase your awareness of the
impact the current culture has on your behavior. There is no definitive
answer or “score” regarding the impact of cultural influences. We participate
in cultural practices primarily as a means of being accepted. Most people are
completely unaware of the influence that society has on them, unless they
purposely act differently than cultural norms suggest.
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Physical symptoms of stress are important for individuals to understand how the body is affected by
stress. If these symptoms are severe, occurring frequently, or lasting for long periods of time, the individual
needs to learn more stress management skills, and should also consider getting checked for other acute or
chronic conditions.
EXERCISE 3.1 Physical Symptoms
Questionnaire
Please look over this list of stress-related symptoms and circle how often they have
occurred in the past week, how severe they seemed to you, and how long they lasted.
Then reflect on the past week’s workload and see whether you notice any connection
between your stress levels and possible stress-related symptoms.
How Often? How Severe? How Long?
(Number of days (1 = mild; (1 = 1 hour;
in the past week) 5 = severe) 5 = all day)
1. Tension headache 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
2. Migraine headache 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
3. Muscle tension (neck and/or shoulders) 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
4. Muscle tension (lower back) 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
5. Joint pain 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
6. Cold 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
7. Flu 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
8. Stomachache 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
9. Stomach/abdominal bloating/distention/gas 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
10. Diarrhea 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
11. Constipation 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
12. Ulcer flare-up 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
13. Asthma attack 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
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14. Allergies 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
15. Canker/cold sores 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
16. Dizzy spells 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
17. Heart palpitations (racing heart) 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
18. Temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJD) 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
19. Insomnia 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
20. Nightmares 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
21. Fatigue 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
22. Hemorrhoids 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
23. Pimples/acne 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
24. Cramps 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
25. Frequent accidents 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
26. Other 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5
(Please specify: Bad Mood)
Score: Look over this entire list. Do you observe any patterns or relationships between your
stress levels and your physical health? A value over 30 points most likely indicates a stress-
related health problem. If it seems to you that these symptoms are related to undue stress, they
probably are. Although medical treatment is advocated when necessary, the regular use of
relaxation techniques may lessen the intensity, frequency, and duration of these episodes.
Comments:
I seem to have a good grasp on my stress level, and when it gets too high, I know that I need to
do something else to relieve some stress. One of the things that I have been doing is
exercising; either doing Zumba or running when able. Listening to music also helps to decrease
stress. I was previously a “stress eater” and was very unhealthy. Although I am still
overweight, I am no longer obese, and I am working at relieving stress and becoming healthy. I
occasionally will still eat when I am stressed, but I have much more control over this than I had
previously.
EXERCISE 3.3 My Health Profile
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My health profile is important to understand overall physical health. Sometimes by actually
seeing things written out, it is easier to understand the real meaning, such as seeing a height and
weight written next to each other on the paper.
Health is so much more than the optimal functioning of our physical bodies. By and large,
however, the physical body is what people focus on when they talk about health (weight, skin,
hair, sight, hearing, etc.). To fully understand the mind-body-spirit connection, you must realize
that the body is actually the endpoint where unresolved issues of mind and spirit collect, not the
beginning. But if we were to start with the body and examine, from head to toe, our physical
makeup, perhaps we could use this as a stepping stone toward understanding this unique
relationship. Several aspects of our physical makeup, when looked at as a composite, tend to
give us a sound understanding of our physical health status. This journal theme invites you to
take some time to explore your overall physical health. Once you have compiled all your
personal health data, compare your values with the norms discussed in class, or in the book
Health and Wellness. If you have any questions regarding your profile, bring these to the
attention of your physician.
My Health Profile
Name Shannon Felmey
Height 5’ 4”
Weight 165 lbs; BMI 28.32, overweight
Age 31
Resting heart rate 62 BPM
Target heart rate 95-162 BPM
Maximal heart rate 190 BPM
Resting systolic blood pressure 106 mm Hg
Resting diastolic blood pressure 68 mm Hg
Total cholesterol unknown; but within normal limits at last check
HDL level unknown; but within normal limits at last check
LDL level unknown; but within normal limits at last check
Vision status wear glasses or contacts; no problems otherwise
Dental status no problems, well kept
Hearing status no problems
Skin condition no problems; occasional greasy face with slight acne
Gastrointestinal (GI) tract suspected gluten intolerance (causes bloating, pain, pressure/gas
feeling), but otherwise no problems and regular
22

Tense areas, muscular neck, shoulders, occasional jaw (TMJ-from grinding/clenching teeth at
night)
Reproductive system no problems
Skin no problems except occasional slight acne
Sinuses currently no problems; recent cold for approximately a week but symptoms subsided
Other allergies/asthma well controlled at present
Unit 3: Psychology of Stress
 According to Sigmund Freud, the human mind is equipped with thought processes or defense
mechanisms to protect the ego. These defense mechanisms include denial, repression, projection,
rationalization, displacement, and humor (Seaward 2009). By using these defense mechanisms, the ego
can find ways of surviving excess stress.
 Low self-esteem is associated with chronic stress and creates a negative-feedback system that leads to
unhappiness and increased stress. Self-esteem is defined as “the sense of underpinning self-values, self-
acceptance, and self-love; thought to be a powerful buffer against perceived threats” (Seaward 2009).
Unit
3
23

 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross proposed a theory of stress being attributed to the death of unmet expectations,
which leads to five stages of grieving. These stages include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and
acceptance. When acceptance is reached, inner peace is enhanced (Seaward 2009).
This anger recognition checklist is an important component because it lists common ways of
manifesting anger. Some of these manifestations can cause physical or emotional harm to oneself or
other people.
EXERCISE 5.1 Anger Recognition Checklist
He who angers you, conquers you.
Elizabeth Kenny
The following is a quick exercise to help you understand how anger can surface in the course of a
normal working day and how you may mismanage it. Please place a check mark in front of any
of the following that apply to you when you get angry or feel frustrated or upset. After
completing this section, please refer to the bottom right hand corner to estimate, on average,
the number of episodes of anger you experience per day.
When I feel angry, my anger tends to surface in the following ways:
__X___ anxiety _____ threatening others
_____ depression _____ buying things
_____ overeating _____ frequent lateness
_____ starting to diet _____ I never feel angry
__X___ trouble sleeping ___X__ clenched jaw muscles, TMJD
_____ excessive sleeping __X___ boredom
_____ careless driving _____ nausea, vomiting
_____ chronic fatigue _____ skin problems
_____ abuse of alcohol/drugs ___X__ easy irritation
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_____ exploding in rage _____ sexual difficulty
_____ cold withdrawal _____ sexual apathy
_____ tension headaches __X___ busy work (clean, straighten)
_____ migraine headaches _____ sulking, whining
_____ use of sarcasm _____ hitting, throwing things
_____ hostile joking _____ complaining, whining
__X___ being accident prone _____ cutting/mutilating myself
__X___ guilt and self-blame _____ insomnia
_____ smoking or drinking _____ promiscuity
_____ high blood pressure _____ helping others
_____ frequent nightmares _____ other? ____________________
_____ tendency to harp or nag _____ other? ____________________
_____ intellectualization _____ swearing or name calling
_____ crying _____ upset stomach (e.g., gas, cramps,
IBS)
__X___ muscle tension (neck, lower back)
* My average number of anger episodes per day is 3-5; I try to understand others and
make every attempt not to stay angry, especially when I know that I am angry.
Emotional well-being is important for awareness in the holistic view of one’s health. Without
being emotional well-being, an individual is not able to be balanced.
EXERCISE 5.9 Emotional Well-Being
Emotional well-being is best described as “the ability to feel and express the entire range
of human emotions, and to control them, not be controlled by them.” Sounds like a pretty tall
order, huh? Well, it doesn’t have to be. What is the range of human emotions? Everything from
anger to love, and all that’s in between. No emotion is excluded, meaning that it is perfectly all
right to feel angry, jealous, giddy, sad, depressed, light-hearted, and silly. All of these feelings
comprise the total human experience, the complete spectrum of human emotions.
A well-accepted theory suggests that early in our development, we spend the greatest
amount of time trying on and exploring emotions. But if you are like most people, you were told
at an early age one or more of the following expressions related to your behavior: “Wipe that
smile off your face,” “Big boys don’t cry,” “Don’t you ever talk back to me,” or “I’ll give you
something to cry about.” Perhaps our parents had good intentions, or perhaps they were just at
wit’s end. Regardless of what
prompts such comments, most youngsters interpret the message altogether differently than
intended. Instead of relating such phrases only to the moment, most children take the meaning
of such messages globally and think it is never all right to laugh or to cry. If we hear these
25

messages enough, we begin to deny some of our feelings by stuffing them down into our
unconscious minds—only to meet them head-on later in life.
The second half of the emotional well-being equation says that to be emotionally well, we
must control our feelings, not let them control us. Our feelings control us when we refuse to feel
and express them or when we linger too long in the moods of anger, anxiety, depression, grief,
or boredom. The result is stagnation, not dynamic living.
Here are some questions to ponder about your own sense of emotional wellbeing:
1. What is your least favorite emotion, one that you don’t like to feel or perhaps would rather
avoid feeling? Can you explain why?
2. Combing through your memory, can you remember a time (or times) when you were told or
reminded not to act or feel a certain way (e.g., big boys don’t cry), or were perhaps even
humiliated? Take a moment to describe this incident.
3. What is your favorite emotion? Why? How often would you say you feel this emotion
throughout the course of a typical day?
4. If you feel you may be the kind of person who doesn’t acknowledge or express your
emotions, can you think of ways to change your behavior and begin to gain a sense of
emotional balance?
My least favorite emotion is probably boredom. I try to avoid feeling bored at all costs, and
I tend to keep myself and by mind busy as much as possible. This is one reason why my life is
so crazy at times with work, school, being a single mom, and trying to keep up with my house
work. I have been forced to have some alone time, and I know that it is a good thing because I
am able to get things done. If I am alone too long, I find myself bored and I feel like I need to
do something different. Sometimes I feel that I start multiple things and may not finish them,
and it was an attempt to keep my mind busy.
I can remember when I was younger, my mom would complain that she could not keep up
with everything herself and she needed some help to do housework, cooking, cleaning, etc. I
can understand where she was coming from, but it seemed like she was always busy at home,
even after she came home from work. I pitched in as much as I could, but I was also on top of
my school grades. If I wasn’t studying, I was working (in high school), going to band or choir
practice, or doing something for the many clubs I was involved with at school. In the little free
time that I had, I also tried to help my mom out as much as possible, so I think I learned to stay
busy and not take time out for myself, let alone to just sit and relax. Now that I am a single
mom, I find it much more difficult to find time for myself. (My parents were and are still
married, but my dad never helped out much at home. I have definitely learned how my mom
26

has felt in the past three years that I have been single. I am sure she felt like a single mother,
even though she was not.)
My favorite emotion is love. Every time I have a chance, I try to express love in one way or
another, whether to myself, my pets, my boys, my friends and family, and my boyfriend. I am
almost always thinking of someone else who is important in my life; especially my boys. I am
always grateful for the people in my life. I know that everyone is there for a reason, and I would
not be able to survive without any of them. I make every attempt to let others know that I care
about them and love them. Love is expressed in different ways toward different people. For
example, my boys get hugs and kisses many times per day, in addition to any time they ask for
them. I show love in a different way to my coworkers when I am able to work well with them
and support them to get our job done well. I am generally a happy person, and nothing makes
me feel happier than when I am able to show my love to someone, or someone shows their love
and appreciation to me. Throughout a typical day, I think I feel love at least once per hour while
I am awake. I am always finding something that reminds me of how much love I have in my
heart to give.
Sometimes I feel that I am the type of person who does not express enough of my
emotions. I have made a conscious attempt at becoming better at expressing my emotions. I
have learned that everyone needs to have help at some point, and unless you ask, it will not
happen. This is especially true when I feel discouraged or depressed because I do not want to
dwell too long on these emotions. I also talk to my boys all the time, and I try to get them to
understand what emotions they are feeling and why they are feeling those emotions. I have
some great friends and family who have done the same thing for me, and I feel that I am
becoming better at expressing my emotions. I have learned that it is ok to show emotions, and
everyone does it at some point. I also keep in mind that although it is acceptable to show
emotions, it is not acceptable to show emotions in the wrong way, such as hitting or throwing
things when feeling angry. When I feel my temper start to rise, I will sometimes separate
myself from others in order to avoid doing something out of rage, but then I will talk to them
after I have cooled down and let them know that something made me angry.
27

The psychology of stress is important for an individual to understand how stress is displayed
toward others. This journal also shows the importance of dreams and the stages of grief are related to
personal stress.
EXERCISE 4.1 The Psychology of Your Stress
The following questions are based on several theories from Chapter 4 to help you become
more aware of your perceptions, attitudes, and behaviors during episodes of stress:
1. In hindsight (because Freud said people are not aware at the time that they are doing it), do
you find that you use one or more defense mechanisms to protect your ego? Reflecting on your
behavior, which of the following do you see as common behaviors in your psychology of stress
profile?
a. Defensiveness (I didn’t do it) Yes No
b. Projection (She did it) Yes No
c. Repression (I don’t remember doing it) Yes No
d. Displacement (He made me do it) Yes No
e. Rationalization (Everyone does it) Yes No
f. Humor (I can laugh about this now) Yes No
g. Other _______________________________________________________
2. Carl Jung was adamant that we need to listen to the wisdom of our dreams. Please answer
the following questions based on Jung’s theories related to stress.
a. Do you often remember your dreams? Yes No
b. Do you make it a habit to try to understand your
dreams and dream symbols? Yes No
c. Do you have any recurring dreams? Yes No
d. Have you ever had a dream of an event that later
came to pass? Yes No
3. Kübler-Ross’s stages of grieving are not just for cancer patients. These same stages occur for
the death of every unmet expectation. What recent expectation was unmet that brought you to
the door of the grieving process? What stage of Kübler-Ross’s progression have you currently
reached with this stressor?
I have struggled with my weight for many years, and I was doing well with weight loss,
until I’ve hit a plateau for the past few months. With this expectation of continuously losing
weight, I am at the depression stage because I was doing well, but now my weight will not
budge. I did not have a fit of rage, but I have been experiencing frustration in a physical and
emotional way on occasion. Like the example of the stolen wallet, I have been occasionally
28

feeling overwhelmed by carefully watching what I am eating and when I am exercising (Seaward
2009). Although I try not to dwell on the weight-loss plateau, it does occasionally cause some
mental and emotional stress. I can also relate each of these stages to my entire weight-loss
journey, and I can understand when I was in each stage.
4. Refer to your Unit 1 Journal Writing Assignment, Exercise 1.5 (“Personal Stress Inventory:
Top Ten Stressors”). Please list your stressors as predominantly anger-based or fear-based
stressors.
Anger-Based Stressors
a. My work schedule, not having control over my schedule and working different days each week
b. not spending enough time with my kids (mainly due to work schedule)
c. messy house; lack of help with housework/yardwork
Fear-Based Stressors
a. living alone, especially with two young children
b. school, fear of not finding a job after graduation, also fear of the unknown of classes
c. becoming healthy, afraid that if I do not become healthy, no one will be able to care for my
boys
“All You Need is Love” is a great way to stimulate thinking about the word love; a word that
sometimes can be used with the wrong connotation. Although there is no concrete definition of love, it is
interesting to think about how love influences relationships, stress, and mind-body development.
Unit 3 Journal
EXERCISE 5.7 All You Need Is Love
Love means letting go of fear.
29

Gerald Jampolski
Love. It seems that no other concept has puzzled humankind so much as this. It is love that gives
life, and paradoxically, people lose their lives in the name of love. As a professor who studied,
taught, and has written several books on the subject, Dr. Leo Buscaglia admits that to define love
is virtually impossible. Impossible it may be, but like pursuing the elusive Holy Grail, people
continue to try. Among authors, poets, songwriters, and actors, the vehicles of love’s message are
endless.
After years of research and personal insight, Buscaglia offered his own incomplete definition,
suggesting that love is that which brings you back to your real self. In Buscaglia’s book
entitled Love, he writes, “For love and the self are one and the discovery of either is the
realization of both.” Just as charity is said to begin at home, so too must love reside within the
individual before it can be shared. Buscaglia notes that the ability to feel and express love of the
self is literally frowned upon as being selfish. In reality, he suggests that to share love you must
first give yourself permission to possess and nurture this quality within yourself. Furthermore,
self-love begins with self-acceptance, unconditional self-acceptance.
It is interesting to note that the field of psychology has pretty much ignored this emotion during
the twentieth century, instead giving the limelight to anxiety and fear. Because of sexual
connotations, love as an inner resource has been virtually disregarded, much to the detriment of
all human society. More recently, this aspect of the human condition has been given more serious
attention. In the much-acclaimed book The Road Less Traveled, psychiatrist M. Scott Peck offers
his insights about love. From empirical observations, Peck perceived that there are many echelons
of love: sharing, caring, trust, passion, and compassion, with the highest level of love being a
divine essence he calls grace.
Let there be no doubt, love is a profound concept. It is a value, an emotion, a virtue, a spiritual
essence, an energy, and, to many people, an enigma. Love can inflict emotional pain, just as it can
heal the scars and bruises of the soul. It can make a fool out of the bravest man and a hero out of
an underdog. The expression of love can be quite intimidating as well, and in American society,
love is often extended with conditions. Ultimately, such strings taint our perception of love,
whereas unconditional love may be the ultimate expression of grace. When people hear the
word love, visions of Hollywood silver-screen passion come to mind. We have been socialized to
think that love has to be as dynamic as Superman, yet the power of love can be as subtle as a
smile or a happy thought. There are many colors in love’s rainbow.
If you were to make an attempt to define love, how would you begin to describe your
interpretation of this concept? Is your expression of love limited by your level of self-acceptance?
30

In your expression of love to others, do you find that you attach conditions? In your opinion, how
does falling in love differ from unconditional love? Add any thoughts to your definition of love
here.
Love is all about appearance and perspective, but there is no concrete definition. Love is a
sub-conscious feeling that cannot be controlled, but is a feeling of comfort. The definition stated
above is more complete than my definition, but I agree with everything stated above. Love is
more than having a relationship with someone, and it involves the mind, body, and spirit. Love
starts on the inside and is manifested on the outside through actions, words, and gestures. If an
individual is not able to feel self-acceptance, I feel that it would be hard to express love toward
others. For example, if I would not feel self-acceptance and would constantly be putting myself
down, this creates a negative image of myself that would be projected onto others. Other people
would look at me and would most likely have the same negative image. When I express love to
others, I make every attempt to not attach conditions. I am the person who loves and appreciates
everyone, and I understand that everyone is different with different opinions, values and beliefs. I
think the only condition I use is that if someone does something to harm my physically, mentally,
or emotionally that he or she does not receive as much of my love as someone else who has not
hurt me.
Falling in love is only the beginning of unconditional love. I do not believe that people
stop loving each other. Differences become distractions, and we are easily distracted from
important parts of our path. When people become distracted, thoughts, actions, and emotions
cause confusion and people are lead to believe that they are no longer in love. Falling in love
simply means sharing our love with another person, whether this is in a romantic partnership,
parent-child relationship, or any other type of relationship.
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Unit 4: Personality Traits and the Human
Spirituality
 People with stress-prone personalities seem to attract stress because they need to have some form of
control. These personalities include Type A, Type D, or depression, codependency, and helpless-
hopeless personality. These personalities types have been associated with acute and chronic stress, and
also have a common factor of low self-esteem (Seaward 2009).
 Stress-resistant personalities include the hardy personality, survivor, and sensation seeker personality.
These personalities seem to provide a buffer against various stressors. Hardy and sensation seeker
personalities are associated with high self-esteem (Seaward 2009).
 “Self-esteem is a crucial cornerstone of personality. Low self-esteem attracts stress; high self-esteem
seems to repel it” (Seaward 2009). If an individual takes steps to increase self-esteem, stress levels may
start to decrease and the risk for acute or chronic illnesses may also start to decrease.
Unit
4
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Everyone has a meaningful purpose in life, and this exercise encourages an individual to look
toward the future to see how that purpose may change. This exercise may also encourage an individual to
realize that everyone has a purpose, and maybe this is something that possibly has not crossed the mind of
the individual.
EXERCISE 7.6 Your Meaningful Purpose in Life
Knowing that your purpose in life may change many times in the course of your life, for this
exercise, first write down (in a few words to a sentence) what you consider to be your life
purpose now, at this point in time. Then take a moment to briefly describe what you considered
to be your purpose in life at the start of each decade of your life (e.g., at age twenty it might be
or have been to graduate with a college degree, at age thirty it might be or have been to raise a
family or start a business).
Now My goal now is to finish school and be a positive influence on as many people as possible
to make themselves healthy and to maintain good health. I’m hoping to start by influencing my
boys to realize that a healthy lifestyle is more important than watching tv or playing with a
computer. I am also working on making my personal life better in every possible aspect.
Age 60 My goal at age 60 is to be looking toward retirement and spending time with family,
and maybe travel to see some places where I have never been.
Age 50 My goal at age 50 is to be able to watch my children begin to have children of their
own and become successful in their lives after college.
Age 40 My goal at age 40 is to watch as my boys continue to grow and begin to think about
attending college or what they will do with their future. I was just thinking that I will have two
teenage boys when I turn 40!
Age 30 At age 30, my goal was to be happily married and to be done or nearly done with my
family-building journey. I also had a goal of having a stable career, which I have successfully
done. Unfortunately, at age 30 I was divorced, but I did have 2 children before that.
Age 20 At age 20, my goal was to finish nursing school (I was about half way through), then
get married, start having kids, and settle down into a permanent career and a permanent house.
Age 16 At age 16, I wanted to start driving a car, buy my own car, and start thinking about
high school graduation and nursing school.
33

© Paramount Wellness Institute. Reprinted with permission. All rights reserved.
This exercise is important to create awareness of distractions. Although distractions are not
always avoidable, being aware of them can encourage an individual to make a plan to get past these
distractions and get back on the intended path.
EXERCISE 7.8 Distractions of the Human Path
Distractions can best be described as those things that pull us off the spiritual path
indefinitely.
Distractions begin as attractions, but their allure can often cast a spell of slumber on the
soul-growth process. Although a respite on the human journey is desirable, and even necessary
at times, a prolonged distraction will ultimately weaken our spiritual resolve. The human spirit,
like energy, must flow, never stagnate. The lessons of distractions are quite common in fairy
tales. Whether it is the story of Pinocchio or Hansel and Gretel, the warnings regarding
distractions are as plentiful as the distractions themselves. The lessons of distractions are
common in the great spiritual teachings as well. Here they are called temptations. Not always,
but often, attractions that become distractions have an addictive quality to them.
What happens when we become distracted? Metaphorically speaking, we fall asleep on
the human path. Like Dorothy and her friends on the way to Oz who stepped off the yellow brick
road to smell the poppies and fell fast asleep, we too lose our direction, our mission, and our
energy stagnates. The end result is never promising.
Unlike roadblocks, distractions are not meant to be circumvented, dismantled, or even
transcended. Rather, they are meant to be appreciated—perhaps from afar, perhaps enjoyed
briefly and then left behind. Fairy tales aside, what are contemporary distractions? Common
examples of everyday distractions might include social contacts, alcohol, television, cell phones,
and the Internet.
Take a moment to reflect on what might be some distractions in your life. Make a list and
describe each one in a sentence or two. Upon recognition of these, what steps can you take to
wake up and get back on the path?
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1. Facebook is a huge distraction because it’s readily available on my phone, iPad, and
computer. I try not to make a habit of looking at it all the time, but it is very easy (and
addictive) to do when I am bored.
2. My cell phone in general is a distraction. Between phone calls, text messages, email,
Facebook, alerts, etc., it is very easy to get distracted with a cell phone, especially when I am
bored or stressed.
3. My kids are distractions because they always need help with something, and I always
have to watch them to be sure they are safe since they are both still very young.
4. My pets can sometimes be a distraction because the dog has to go out, or the cats
jump on my lap, or the dog nudges me to pet her. It is easy to be interrupted with whatever I
am doing at the present time when this happens.
5. The internet is a distraction, especially when I look something up, but something else
catches my eye while I am in the process of looking it up. For example, if I watch a YouTube
video, many more related videos come up and can cause a distraction because I feel like I want
to watch all of them.
Understanding how stress affects personality is very important for overall well-being. Control,
commitment, and challenge are all important in helping to understand this.
EXERCISE 6.1 Under the Gun: Stress and Personality
Pick a stressor in your life and explain the characteristics that you feel you employ to
deal with stress based on the concepts of the hardy personality.
1. Control: I know that I need to feel some control over certain aspects of my life, but I have
also realized that there are some aspects that cannot be controlled. When I cannot control
something, I work toward finding a solution that is in my control. For example, I do not have
much control over my work schedule, which can cause some stress at times because I miss out
on time with my boys, and I work long hours, weekends, and holidays. I made the decision to
35

return to school for a different job in order to have a better work schedule. I also try to look at
situations in the most positive way possible and I try not to dwell on negative events or
situations. Even though something may happen that could have a negative impact on my
emotions, I look for any positive aspects and focus on them. Time urgency depends on the
situation. I make every effort to get to work on time and get my boys to school on time, but I
know that sometimes things happen that will cause us to be late. When these situations occur, I
understand that not everything is within my control and although I may get upset about these
situations, I make every attempt to release my anger in productive ways, such as venting to a
friend, rather than taking my anger out on someone else. I also do not tend to dwell on this
anger; I will tend to move past the situation quickly so that I can move on with my life.
2. Commitment: Commitment takes time, dedication and practice. Not every commitment
comes easily. For example, my current job as a labor and delivery nurse took time, dedication
and practice with nursing school, as well as learning skills necessary to perform the job. I was
not able to simply wake up one day, walk into labor and delivery, and decide that I am a nurse
in that department. I took the time to complete nursing school and on-the-job training for this
specific job. There are times when I have to work harder to learn about something, especially if
it is a situation that I have not encountered in the past, but I use this as an opportunity to
embrace a learning experience. Relationships also take commitment, as well as time and
dedication.
3. Challenge: I enjoy taking on challenges, but I also am careful to not take on too many
challenges at the same time to increase my stress level more than necessary. When I face a
challenge, I take steps to work toward a solution for it. I previously have had trouble asking for
help with challenges, but I have learned that everyone needs to ask for help at times, and I am
no longer afraid to ask. For example, if someone asks me a question and I do not know the
answer, I am not afraid to ask someone else for input. I have learned that people show much
more respect for someone to say “I don’t know but I will get an answer for you” instead of
simply saying “I don’t know.” By offering to find an answer, it helps the other person to feel
valid. I also have learned to prioritize and re-evaluate the situation when a challenge occurs.
For example, I reached a point where I could not continue to work full-time (with 12-hour
shifts), and keep up with my kids, schoolwork, and housework. I made the decision to drop
some hours at work, and I have also had some help with cleaning and yard work in order for me
to keep on top of everything and still do well in school and make time for my boys. If a
challenge seems big and stressful, I will look at ways of making the challenge less daunting. For
example, I just found out that I will be moving in about one month, so I am starting to pack as
soon as possible, and I will be going through toys and belongings prior to packing so that I do
not feel as overwhelmed with the task.
List any other aspects (inner resources) that help you get through the tough times:
1. I seem to have a very easy-going personality, and I do not stay angry for long periods. I
have ways of releasing anger and frustration, such as listening to music, running, cleaning, or
talking with friends. I find that I am able to identify anger and usually move past it quickly so
that it does not negatively control my life.
2. I have turned to my Christian faith to help me through the tough times. Within the past three
years, my faith has only grown significantly, I know that the Lord will not give me anything that I
cannot handle. Like most other people, there are times that I question my faith and wonder why
the Lord has given me a certain task, but I tell myself that it is in order to make myself into a
36

better person. I also have my Bible and my church family to rely on in the case that I cannot
help myself with my faith alone.
3. Talking with friends, family, or other is similar situations gives me strength. Whether it is
venting to someone about a situation, or writing a letter to someone, it helps me to understand
why I am stressed and what I need to change in order to move past that stress. If I write a
letter, email, or text, it gives me the opportunity to re-read what was written, and I can usually
better understand my feelings. Sometimes, I delete the email or text, or I throw the letter away
because I realize that something said in there may hurt someone else, and this would only make
the situation worse for everyone involved.
4. Helping others with difficult situations helps me to get through tough times as well. I enjoy
helping others, and I would do almost anything for anyone. I know that other people have tough
times as well, so sometimes something as simple as making a meal to help someone else feel
less stressed also helps me because I can see what a positive influence I have on other people.
Even when I help my son with his homework, it helps me through tough times because I know
that someone else is able to appreciate the help and feel less stress.
© 2008 Jones and Bartlett Publishers. Reprinted with permission. All rights reserved.
The following survey is a good indicator to determine if an individual has a stress-prone
personality. If an individual scores high on this survey, he or she can learn to take steps to decrease
the negative characteristics of a stress-prone personality.
EXERCISE 6.2 Stress-Prone Personality Survey
The following is a survey based on the traits of the codependent personality. Please answer the
following questions with the most appropriate number.
3 = Often 2 = Sometimes 1 = Rarely 0 = Never
1. I tend to seek approval
(acceptance) from others (e.g.,
friends, colleagues, family
members).
3 2 1 0
2. I have very strong perfection
tendencies.
3 2 1 0
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3. I am usually involved in many
projects at one time.
3 2 1 0
4. I rise to the occasion in times of
crisis.
3 2 1 0
5. Despite problems with my family,
I will always defend them.
3 2 1 0
6. I have a tendency to put others
before myself.
3 2 1 0
7. I don’t feel appreciated for all the
things I do.
3 2 1 0
8. I tend to tell a lot of white lies. 3 2 1 0
9. I will help most anyone in need. 3 2 1 0
10. I tend to trust others’ perceptions
rather than my own.
3 2 1 0
11. I have a habit of overreacting to
situations.
3 2 1 0
12. Despite great achievements, my
self-esteem usually suffers.
3 2 1 0
13. My family background is better
described as victim than victor.
3 2 1 0
14. I have been known to manipulate
others with acts of generosity and
favors.
3 2 1 0
15. I am really good at empathizing
with my friends and family.
3 2 1 0
16. I usually try to make the best
impression possible with people.
3 2 1 0
17. I like to validate my feelings with
others’ perceptions.
3 2 1 0
18. I am an extremely well-organized
individual.
3 2 1 0
19. It’s easier for me to give love and
much more difficult to receive it.
3 2 1 0
20. I tend to hide my feelings if I
know they will upset others.
3 2 1 0
Total score 34
Score: A score of more than 30 points indicates that you most likely have traits associated
with the codependent personality, a personality style known to be stress-prone.
38

Unit 5: Dealing with Stress: Coping Strategies
 According to Sapolsky (2004), “the first thing to emphasize is that we can change the way we cope, both
physiologically and psychologically.” In order to better cope with stress, individuals should engage in
regular exercise, and engage in repetition of stressful events. Although the outcome may not be able to
be changed, an individual should have a positive outlook on a stressful situation instead of a negative
outlook in order to have more control over the stressor (Sapolsky 2004).
Unit
5
39

 Negative thoughts can be referred to as toxic thoughts, and these thoughts are the product of a
conditioned response, which may start in childhood. Negative feedback may be transformed into guilt
and shame for children, and can lead to increased negative thinking during the lifetime. Research has
shown that negative thoughts can suppress the immune system, leading to increased risk of acute and
chronic illness (Seaward 2009).
 Behavior modification is a process in which an individual learns ways of changing negative actions or
perspectives into positive actions or perspectives. The goal of all behavior change programs is
assertiveness, or a “behavior that is neither passive nor aggressive but proactively diplomatic” (Seaward
2009).
Unit 5 Exercises
EXERCISE 9.4 Optimist or Pessimist?
Optimism versus Pessimism is important to understand if an individual desires to begin
reframing negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Optimists tend to have a more positive outlook on
life.
You should always be aware that your head creates your world.
Ken Keyes
Within each person resides the makings of an optimist and pessimist. Some people claim
dominion of their optimist side, always seeing the glass as half full, whereas others clearly see
themselves as pessimists, viewing the glass as half empty (or, in some cases, completely empty).
40

Most people see themselves as being somewhere in between depending on a variety of life
circumstances, although in general we tend to gravitate toward one side or the other in our
worldview. Describe the difference between an optimist and a pessimist in your opinion, and give
an example of each. Then explain on which side you see yourself most of the time and why.
An optimist is a person who is able to see the positive aspect of almost any given situation,
and a pessimist is the opposite; someone who tends to look toward negative or difficult situations. An
example of an optimist is someone who is able to accept life’s challenges with dignity, and look for
the positive side of things in these challenges. A pessimist may go through life and hit a roadblock,
but wonder why the roadblock exists. This could prevent a pessimist from being able to fully
understand the importance of the roadblock because he or she is focused on the problem instead of
looking beyond the problem to the future.
Most of the time, I tend to be on the optimistic side of things and look toward the positive any
way possible. I feel that I may see roadblocks, but I can look past them and know that they are only
temporary. The roadblock is not the end of the world for me, but simply a hurdle to find out what lies
beyond it. For example, when I went through my divorce, I made the conscious decision to not look
at it in a negative way, but in a positive way. I decided that it was an opportunity for personal growth,
to meet new people that I otherwise would not have met being married, and an opportunity to form
new friendships. By having an optimistic view on this situation, I feel that I was able to handle it
better than if I had constantly looked as this situation from a negative, or pessimistic, perspective.
Although there are times that I may show a pessimistic point of view, I try to quickly reframe my
perspective to an optimistic point of view.
This exercise is important because actions and words are also part of a conscious decision for
reframing negative situations. If an individual’s point of view comes out as a negative perspective,
others may feel the same way, and it can make it harder to make the decision to reframe the situation.
EXERCISE 15.1 What DidYou Say?
Conversational skills may not seem like they belong in a stress-management book, but nothing
could be further from the truth. Poor conversational skills are often at the root of many stressful
relationships. We are engaged in conversation from the moment we wake until the second we lay
down our heads and enter the world of dreams. Whether it be family, friends, customers, clients,
peers, colleagues, strangers, or even voices on the radio and television, our minds are
programmed to listen and respond in conversation virtually every minute of the day.
41

A proverb states, “The three most important words to a successful relationship are
communication, communication, communication.” It’s true! As social animals we gravitate
toward others to engage in conversation. Good communication skills are essential to every aspect
of our lives. The elements of conversation are rather complicated because we communicate with
more than just words and voices. In fact, more of our communication skills are nonverbal than
verbal.
1. How good are your communication skills, both verbal and nonverbal? Are you even aware
of the messages you give to others with your clothing style, hair, eye movements, posture,
hand gestures, and facial expressions?
I try to be conscious of my verbal and nonverbal communication skills. I choose clothing,
and hairstyles that I feel would not be offensive to others. A few weeks ago, I dyed my
hair purple (by accident), and I felt that others would find it offensive, so I took steps to
quickly correct the problem. I make eye contact if speaking to someone, especially if the
information is important for them to hear. I smile a lot, although I will admit, that it is not
all the time. I smile because I am truly happy, not because I force myself to look like I am
happy.
2. There is a growing trend among people younger than 30 to prefer text messaging to email
and phone calls. Is this your preference? If so, why? Are you aware that some people’s e-
communication skills are good, but their social (in-person) communication skills are poor?
Please explain.
I am 31, and depending on the situation, I do prefer text messaging over email and phone
calls. This is because I tend to ignore emails because I get mostly junk email, so it may go
days until I check it. Phone calls are good at times, as long as it is not an inconvenience to
both parties involved. Text messages are good for a quick note to someone, and they are
more likely to see it. If a long conversation is required, I do prefer the phone because
written words can be taken as unintended and cause hurt to the other person. I am aware
that some people have poor social communication skills, even if they do seem to have good
e-communication skills. When writing a text or email, it is easy to think about what is
being said, and re-write the information as necessary before sending it. The opposite is
true for social communication skills because non-verbal language also plays a major role in
communication.
42

3. Some communication should only be between two people and not for public consumption,
yet we are now seeing private conversations become public on Facebook, Twitter, and
other social networking sites. Have you ever made a private conversation public? If so,
why?
I have made every attempt at keeping private conversations private. I personally feel that
people who post private conversations on social networking sites are craving attention, and
looking to see who will take pity on them and feel sorry for them. I do not want people to
pity me for any reason; I want people to like me for who I am and not pretend to like me
simply because of something that I posted online.
4. What would you say is your body’s silent message, that is, without dialogue? Why? Is this
the message you wish to convey?
I hope that my body is saying that I am a nice person, I care about others, and I am
generally a happy person. As mentioned earlier, I tend to smile a lot, but not all the time to
encourage people to think the smile is fake. This is the message I wish to convey because
it is the truth, and I make every attempt to tell people the truth.
5. Listening skills are as important as the ability to articulate your thoughts and feelings. Yet,
most people hear but seldom listen. More often than not, they begin to prepare what they
are going to say within seconds of someone beginning to speak or respond. How good are
your listening skills? What could you do to improve them?
I feel that I have good listening skills. I allow others to finish talking before I respond, and
I ask questions if I did not understand something that was said before I respond. I like to
help people work through problems; so many people seem to feel that I am a good listener.
I could possibly use more gestures at times in order to make people feel more comfortable
with my listening. I tend to get quiet while others are talking, and sometimes a nod of the
head is helpful to others so they know that I am still listening and not daydreaming.
6. Much research now suggests that men and women have different styles of communication.
Have you ever noticed this? For example, have you noticed that when a woman says she’ll
call you tomorrow, she calls you tomorrow, whereas when a man says he’ll call you
tomorrow, most likely he will call you in a few days to a week?
43

I feel that although sometimes men and women have different styles of communication,
this is not always true. It depends on the intention of the individual, as well as other
factors. For example, I am always busy doing something, and although I may tell someone
that I will call tomorrow, I am very easily distracted and can forget to call. On the other
hand, if my boyfriend says he will call tomorrow, he will honestly make every attempt to
call me.
7. It has been said that when we speak we are very indirect, not really saying what we mean.
We beat around the bush. Do you find that your verbal style is more indirect than direct?
Do you tend to give mixed messages? After giving this some thought, can you think of
ways to improve your verbal communication skills? Do you need to revise your nonverbal
messages? How can you do this?
I feel that I am usually very direct and say what I mean. If someone is not sure about my
message, they ask and I can rephrase it, although this does not happen often. I try to be
honest with people and tell them exactly what is on my mind. Revising nonverbal
messages takes a conscious effort, as well as practice. One way to practice this is to think
before acting, and be sure to show gestures toward others that will enhance, not contradict,
the verbal message.
8. How do your communication styles differ from direct contact to the times when you use
your cell phone or text message? Does your cell phone use interfere with your direct
personal relationships?
There are times when my cell phone can interfere with my direct personal relationships.
Sometimes written words are not interpreted with the intended meaning, and this can create
problems with relationships. If I see that I have offended someone because of something
written in a text, I will talk to them in person (or on the phone if that is the only option) and
apologize and explain what was truly meant.
9. Men and women are said to have different communication styles. Although it may be true
that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, we are both here on earth, so we have
to learn to be bilingual. What differences do you notice talking to the opposite gender?
How are these differences magnified in a relationship? Share your thoughts and
experiences here.
44

I always make an attempt to keep an open mind, especially when talking with the opposite
sex. I understand that we both may say things that do not make sense to the other, and
instead of getting upset over mixed messages, I will ask for clarification when needed. I
feel that in my relationship with my boyfriend, these differences can be magnified in a
good way because we are both optimistic, and very open minded. Sometimes these
differences can lead to a good laugh when we actually figure out what is meant.
Reframing is something that I have taught myself to do over the past three years. This is an
important component of learning to see the positive aspect of any situation, and also helps to decrease
stress.
EXERCISE 8.1
Reframing: Seeing a Bigger, Clearer Perspective
Anger and fear that arise from encountering a stressful situation can narrow our focus and
distort our perspective on the bigger picture. Although the initial aspects of dealing with these
situations involve some degree of grieving, the secret to coping with stress is to change the
threatening perception to a nonthreatening perception. This worksheet invites you to identify
three stressors and, if necessary, draft a new, “reframed” perspective (not a rationalization) that
allows you to get out of the rut of a myopic view and start moving on with your life.
Example:
Situation: Can never find a parking space close to the dorm/classroom
Reframed Perspective: Although nearby parking certainly saves time, there is no denying that
45

the walk provides much needed exercise/activity
1. Situation: Facing more traffic than usual on the way to work in the morning makes me feel
stressed about getting to work on time.
Reframed Perspective: I give myself 45 minutes to get to work, and it is a 30 minute drive. I
have plenty of time, and since I live in a rural area, traffic is not nearly as bad as if I would have
to drive in a city to get to work. The extra time in the car gives me more time to listen to music,
news, and the hilarious radio shows. Music decreases my stress level, so I enjoy listening to
extra music in the morning before I potentially stressful day at work.
2. Situation: I was feeling negative, stressed, and miserable following my marital separation and
pending divorce.
Reframed Perspective: Instead of allowing myself to feel negative, stressed, and miserable, I
decided to turn this negative situation into the most positive situation that I possibly could.
Although divorce is always stressful as it is, I made it into an opportunity to make myself feel
better any way that I possibly could, without trying to make my ex look bad for the kids. I
started going to church, became baptized, started on my weight loss journey, and starting
looking at the positive instead of the negative for every situation possible.
3. Situation: It is rough to be a single mother with two young boys.
Reframed Perspective: Although there are times that being a single mother is rough, it also gives
me an opportunity to have time alone with my boys, and to do things with them. It also allows
us to bond and develop new family traditions and values.
The following questionnaire is a good way to determine if an individual may have Type A
personality, which can cause increased stress for the individual. Since we live in such a hurried world,
many people feel that there are not enough hours in the day, and this questionnaire can remind someone to
slow down once in a while to prevent feeling even more stressed over time.
EXERCISE 15.1 The Time-Crunch Questionnaire
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The following is a survey based on the traits of the codependent personality. Please answer the
following questions with the most appropriate number.
1 = rarely 2 = sometimes 3 = often
1. I tend to procrastinate with projects and responsibilities. 1 2 3
2. My bedtime varies depending on the workload I have each day. 1 2 3
3. I am the kind of person who leaves things till the last minute. 1 2 3
4. I forget to make To Do lists to keep me organized. 1 2 3
5. I spend more than two hours watching television each night. 1 2 3
6. I tend to have several projects going on at the same time. 1 2 3
7. I tend to put work ahead of family and friends. 1 2 3
8. My life is full of endless interruptions and distractions. 1 2 3
9. I tend to spend a lot of time on the phone. 1 2 3
10. Multi-tasking is my middle name. I am a great multi-tasker. 1 2 3
11. My biggest problem with time management is prioritization. 1 2 3
12. I am a perfectionist when it comes to getting things done. 1 2 3
13. I never seem to have enough time for my personal life. 1 2 3
14. I tend to set unrealistic goals to accomplish tasks. 1 2 3
15. I reward myself before getting things done on time. 1 2 3
16. I just never have enough hours in the day to get things done. 1 2 3
17. I can spend untold hours distracted while surfing the Internet. 1 2 3
18. I tend not to trust others to get things done when I can do them
better myself.
1 2 3
19. If I am completely honest, I tend to be a workaholic. 1 2 3
20. I have been known to skip meals in order to complete projects. 1 2 3
21. I will clean my room, garage, or kitchen before I really get to
work on projects.
1 2 3
22. I will often help friends with their work before doing my own. 1 2 3
23. It’s hard to get motivated to get things done. 1 2 3
Total Score __30______
Questionnaire Key
0–25 points = excellent time management skills (keep doing what you are doing!)
50–26 points = fair time management skills (time to pull in the reins a bit)
75–51 points = poor time management skills (time to reevaluate your life skills)
47

Unit 6: Relaxation Techniques 1: Breathing,
Meditation, and Mental Imagery
 Diaphragmatic breathing is an effective relaxation technique that focuses on breathing that originates in
the abdomen, as opposed to the normal chest breathing that most Americans normally do. In order to
perform diaphragmatic breathing, the individual needs to consciously focus on the breathing, and take
slow deep breaths. While focusing on the breathing, the mind has a few seconds to possibly forget
about the impending stress (Seaward 2009).
 Every relaxation technique involves some aspect of meditation, and meditation is a mind-cleansing
process. There are two types of meditation; to exclude all thoughts from the mind except a focal point,
and to include all thoughts but detach emotionally from these thoughts (Seaward 2009). Each individual
should find a form of meditation that is appropriate.
 “Mental imagery describes the ability of the unconscious mind to generate images that have a calming,
healing effect on the body. Visualization is one aspect of mental imagery, wherein there is conscious
direction of self-generated images. Guided mental imagery is a variation wherein images are suggested
by another person (either live or on tape)” (Seaward 2009).
Unit
6
48

An individual may be dominant in left-brain or right-brain thinking, depending on the
common traits that are exhibited. By being aware of which side of the brain does the dominant
thinking, an individual can learn to exercise the other side of the brain as well to become more whole
in thinking.
EXERCISE 18.3 Bridging the Hemispheres of
Thought
In 1956 a researcher named Roger Sperry conducted some experiments on a handful of patients
with grand mal epileptic seizures. In the procedure he created, he cut the corpus callosum, the
bridge of neural fibers that connects the right and left hemispheres of the brain. Not only did the
operation reduce the number and intensity of the grand mal seizures, but it also soon gave
credence to a whole new concept of how the mind, through the brain, processes information.
Roger Sperry’s research led to a Nobel Prize in medicine and to the household expressions right-
brain thinking and left-brain thinking.
Left-brain thinking skills are associated with judgment, analysis, mathematical and verbal acuity,
linear thought progression, and time consciousness; right-brain functioning is associated with
global thinking, holistic thinking, imagination, humor, emotionality, spatial orientation,
receptivity, and intuition; Western culture grooms and rewards left-brain thinking. It is fair to
say that judgmental thinking is one of our predominant traits. Although it is true that Western
culture is left-brain dominant in thinking skills, the truth of the matter is that to be dominant in
one style of thinking is actually considered lopsided and imbalanced.
1. How would you describe your dominant thinking style? Would you say that your left brain or
right brain dominates?
I believe that I am both left-brained and right-brained in thinking. I usually seem to be
good at making judgments, analyzing situations, verbal acuity, and time consciousness,
which is associated with the left-brain. I am also good at holistic thinking (which is why I am
returning to school and concentrating in that field), imagination, humor, emotionality,
receptivity, and intuition, all of which are associated with right-brain thinking. Depending on
the situation facing me I may become more dominant in thinking from one side of the brain
or the other.
2. If you were to make a guess or assumption as to why your thinking skills gravitate toward
one direction or the other, what would be your explanation?
I am also ambidextrous with writing and many other tasks, so I am able to adapt by
using each side of my brain. I also think some of this reasoning is because I have been left-
49

handed since I was very young, and since most people are right-handed, they teach others to
do things the right-handed way (using the left brain). Dominance in society leads to mostly
left-brain thinking in society, which is rewarded in Western culture. I also like everything in
my life to be balanced, so I believe this also helps to encourage left-brain and right-brain
thinking in myself.
3. One of the basic themes of wellness is balance—in this case, balance of the right-brain and
left-brain functions. Based on your answer to the first question, what are your dominant
thinking skills and your non-dominant thinking skills? What are some ways you can balance
your patterns by bridging between the right and left hemispheres of your brain?
Some of my dominant thinking skills are judgment, analysis, time consciousness, holistic
thinking, imagination, emotionality, receptivity, and intuition. My dominant thinking skills are
mathematical (and sometimes verbal) acuity, linear thought progression, sometimes spatial
orientation, and sometimes humor. I believe the only way to learn to use the non-dominant
thinking skills is to learn how and when to use them through practice. Practice may come
through facing new or uncomfortable situations because it will teach us how to use new skills.
By repeating these situations, the mind becomes more comfortable with the situation and the
skill, and can lead to more balance in using the left-brain and right-brain.
Visualizations can be an important part of decreasing stress, especially for a beginner since
they explain exactly what to do. These visualizations instruct the individual on a focal point, and are
used to promote a sense of rest and relaxation.
EXERCISE 20.2 Three Short Guided
Visualizations
A Point of Light in Space
This guided imagery is called a point of light in space. As with all types of guided imagery, please
adapt and embellish all suggestions you hear to best promote a sense of rest and relaxation.
To begin . . . .
Close your eyes and begin to focus on your breathing. Feel the air come into your nose or
mouth, down into your lungs, and as you inhale, feel your stomach area extend out comfortably.
Then when you begin to exhale, feel a deep sense of relaxation, for there is no work, no effort,
as you release the air from your lungs. This is the most relaxed part of breathing. The exhalation
50

phase of the breath cycle requires no work, no effort—it happens all by itself. Please repeat this
cycle of comfortably deep breathing two more times. Inhale (pause five seconds). Exhale. Inhale
(pause five seconds).
Exhale.
Now, with your mind’s eye, imagine a vast area of dark empty space in front of you. As you look
at this dark empty space, off in the distance you see a small point of light: a brilliant, golden-
white light. Allow your thoughts to slowly bring this point of light closer to you. Think to yourself
of the stillness that surrounds the light. The stillness represents the quiet solitude that the mind
craves after a busy day of sensory overload. The point of light represents only that which is
essential to focus on for your higher good. All other thoughts are unimportant at this time. Once
again, focus on the small point of light. Although this point of light is small, it’s bright and
vibrant. This light is a symbolic representation of your self—yourself at complete homeostasis.
As you focus on this point of light, take a slow, comfortable, deep breath—as slow and
comfortably deep as you can. As you exhale, place all of your attention, all of your
concentration, on this point of light. If your mind should happen to wander, and most likely it
will, simply direct all thoughts back to this point of light in a calm sea of still darkness.
As you focus on this point of light, think to yourself that in the course of a busy day you are
constantly being bombarded with sensory stimulation and an abundance of information. Although
the mind seeks stimulation, the mind also craves time to unwind and relax. Balance is essential.
While it may be impossible to have no thoughts in your mind, it is possible to focus solely on just
one thought. Right now, the only thought you need to focus on is this beautiful point of light. As
you focus on this single point of brilliant light, take one more slow, deep breath. As you exhale,
feel whatever tensions or excess energy you carry in your mind dissipate, thus allowing for a
deeper sense of relaxation of mind, body, and spirit.
Take one more slow, deep breath, and this time as you exhale, slowly allow this image of the
brilliant point of light to fade from your mind’s eye, yet retain the deep sense of relaxation and
calm it has instilled. And as you do this, begin to place all of your attention on your breathing.
Inhale and as you do, feel your stomach begin to extend, then slowly come back in as you
exhale. In this exhalation process, become aware of a deep sense of complete relaxation.
Although you feel relaxed, you don’t feel sleepy or tired. You feel refreshed and renewed. As you
become aware of this energizing sensation, begin to open your eyes to a soft gaze in front of you
and slowly bring yourself back to the awareness of the room you are now in, feeling refreshed
and renewed.
Gentle Falling Snow
Picture this: You are sitting by a large picture window in a warm log cabin on a brisk winter’s
day. You have the entire place to yourself, and the solitude feels invigorating. There is a log fire
in the wood stove radiating abundant heat. Both the sounds of crackling wood and the scent of
pine arouse your senses and for a moment, you close your eyes and take a slow, deep breath, a
sigh that refreshes. As you exhale, you feel a wonderful sense of relaxation permeate your entire
body from head to toe, and it feels great. Consciously, you take another slow, deep breath in
through your nose. As you exhale through your mouth, you become aware of the glorious
stillness that surrounds you in this cabin.
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From where you are seated, look out the window, and as you do, you see falling snow, snow that
falls gently to the ground in large flakes. Everything outside is covered in white fluffy snow: the
ground, the pine trees, the aspens—in fact, all the trees for as far as you can see are covered in
snow. As you look closely at the snowflakes descending from on high toward the ground, you
sense a calmness both indoors and outdoors. Other than snow falling, everything is still.
Everything is quiet. This stillness you observe is a reflection of the tranquility you feel within
yourself.
This stillness is so inviting that you slowly move off the couch and stand up. As you walk toward
the cabin door, you put on your warm winter coat, hat, and gloves. Then, slowly you open the
door and simply stand in the doorframe to observe the endless dance of millions of snowflakes
floating gently—almost in slow motion—from the sky down to the snow-covered ground.
Listen closely. What do you hear? The sound of snowflakes is so soft, so gentle, that the sound is
barely audible. Your ability to focus on this sound to the exclusion of all other thoughts sets your
mind at ease, like a broom that gently sweeps the floor of any remnants needing to be cleaned.
The snow-covered ground is a symbol of your mind: clean, clear, and still. Take a slow, deep
breath of this clean, fresh air and feel a deeper sense of calmness throughout your entire body.
As you step back inside and close the door, you kick off your shoes, take off this jacket, hat, and
gloves, and return to the couch by the picture window. As you close your eyes to focus on the
sounds of stillness, take one final slow, deep breath and bring that stillness into the center of
your heart space.
Now, slowly allow this image to fade from your mind’s eye, but retain the sense of tranquility it
inspired. Make yourself aware of your surroundings: the room, the building, the time of day, and
perhaps what you will do after this relaxation session. Although you feel relaxed, you don’t feel
tired. You feel rested and rejuvenated. Begin to make yourself aware of your body. Stretch your
arms and shoulders. When you feel ready, open your eyes to a soft gaze in front of you, and as
you do, retain this sense of calm comfort throughout your mind, body, and spirit all day long.
A Walk on a Secluded Beach
The beach, from the warm turquoise waters of the ocean to the cool, gentle breezes and warm
sand, has served humanity for thousands of years as a metaphor for cleansing the mind and
relaxing the body. Sitting or walking along a deserted beach and focusing on the gentle rhythm
of the ocean surf serve a primal desire for relaxation. It is this image that we wish to re-create in
the mind’s eye for the same purpose right now.
The time of day is moments before sunrise, or if you wish, sunset. The temperature is
comfortably warm, yet there is a gentle breeze in the air. The sky contains a few clouds, but only
enough to enhance the spectacle of reflecting the sun’s rays in concert with the rotation of the
earth. While there may be birds off in the distance, you notice that the only sounds you hear are
those of the ocean waves in perfect rhythm with your relaxed breathing: inhalation and
exhalation.
As you stop for a moment and look out to the horizon, the vastness of all you see in front of you
shrinks any and all problems, concerns, and issues you may have at this time to their proper
proportion. The immensity, as well as the beauty, of the view you hold in your eyes is
exhilarating. Stop for a moment and take a comfortably slow, deep breath. Just as the ocean’s
waves clean the shoreline, so too does each exhalation cleanse your mind and body of any
thoughts, attitudes, perceptions, beliefs, and feelings that, at one time, may have served you
but now only hold you back.
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Using the ocean surf as a metaphor for peace and relaxation---breathe often for the next several
minutes, in rhythm with the ocean’s tide to instill a deep sense of peace and relaxation in both
your mind and your body;
Inhale . . . (pause five to ten seconds) . . . Exhale
And one more time: Inhale . . . (pause five seconds) . . . Exhale. As you exhale, take a moment
to look down in the sand. As you do, you notice a seashell that catches your attention. You bend
down to pick it up and feel the soft texture of the repeated eons of surf on each side of this shell.
With a smile of recognition that we too will become soft to the touch with the repeated surf of
time, you place this shell in your pocket as a reminder of your own journey of personal growth.
Now, slowly allow this image to fade from your mind, but retain all sensations of relaxation. As
you do this, return all thoughts to your breathing each breath comfortably calm and relaxed.
Make yourself aware of your surroundings. Remember, although you feel relaxed, you don’t feel
tired or sleepy. You feel rested and rejuvenated. Begin to make yourself aware of your body.
Stretch your arms and shoulders. When you feel ready, open your eyes to a soft gaze in front of
you and bring yourself back to awareness of your current surroundings.
Thoughts and Experiences
I enjoy each of these relaxations, although the point of light in space is harder for me to
concentrate on. This is possibly due to not being able to hear anything except silence. I love
the beach, and I can easily recreate the image, sounds, smells, and feelings in my mind, and it
gives me something to focus on while meditating. Although I do not like to be cold, I do enjoy
watching the snow fall, and I love to hear the peaceful sound of falling snow. Both of these
situations create a sense of relaxation and magical feelings for me. These feelings are magical
because of the sense of rejuvenation that I feel when I concentrate on either of these
visualizations.
It is also hard to read a meditation and try to allow myself complete relaxation to focus
enough. It is much easier to listen to a guided meditation and focus on it. When practiced
enough, an individual may not need to listen to a guided meditation anymore. I am also able to
practice meditation with music, and I do not always need a guided meditation to induce
relaxation.
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The Dolphin Breath Meditation is a great way of learning diaphragmatic breathing; something
that many Americans do not normally practice. Diaphragmatic breathing requires a conscious
decision to focus on breathing, take deep breaths, and promote relaxation instead of stress.
EXERCISE 17.1 Dolphin Breath Meditation
Meditation Script
Introduction
Breathing is, perhaps, the most common way to promote relaxation. Taking a few moments
to focus on your breathing, to the exclusion of all other thoughts, helps to calm
mind, body, and spirit. By focusing solely on your breathing, you allow distracting
thoughts to leave the conscious mind. In essence, clearing the mind of thoughts is
very similar to deleting unwanted emails, thus allowing more room to concentrate on
what is really important in your life, that which really deserves attention.
Script
In a normal resting state, the average person breathes about fourteen to sixteen breath
cycles per minute. Under stress, this can increase to nearly thirty breath cycles per
minute. Yet in a deep relaxed state, it is not uncommon to have as few as four to six
breath cycles in this same time period. The breathing style that produces the greatest
relaxation response is that which allows the stomach to expand, rather than the upper
chest (this is actually how you breathe when you are comfortably asleep). Take a few
moments to breathe, specifically focusing your attention on your abdominal area.
And, if any distracting thoughts come to your attention, simply allow these to fade
away as you exhale.
Sometimes, combining visualization with breathing can augment the relaxation
response. The dolphin breath meditation is one such visualization. Imagine if
you will that, like a dolphin, you have a hole in the crown of your head with which
to breathe. Although you will still breathe through your nose or mouth, imagine
that you are now taking in slow, deep breaths through the opening at the top of
your head.
As you do this, feel the air or energy come in through the top of your head, down
past your neck and shoulders, and reside momentarily at the base of your spine.
Then, when you feel ready, very slowly exhale, allowing the air to move back
out through the dolphin spout, the opening situated at the top of your head. As you
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slowly exhale, feel a deep sense of inner peace reside throughout your body.
Once again, using all your concentration, focus your attention on the opening
at the top of your head. Now, slowly breathe air in through this opening—comfortably
slow, comfortably deep. As you inhale, feel the air move down into your lungs,
yet allow it to continue further down, deep into your abdominal region. When you
feel ready, slowly exhale, allowing the air to move comfortably from your abdominal
region up through the top of your head.
Now, take three slow, deep dolphin breaths, and each time you exhale, feel a
deep sense of relaxation throughout your body.
1. (Pause) . . . Inhale . . . five to ten seconds . . . Exhale
Just as you imagined a hole in the top of your head, now imagine that in the
sole of each foot there is also a hole through which you can breathe. As you create this
image, take a slow, deep breath and through your mind’s eye visualize air coming in
through the soles of each foot. Visualize the air moving in from your feet, up through
your legs, past your knees and waist, to where it resides in your abdominal region.
When you feel ready, begin to exhale slowly and allow the air to move back out the
way it came, out through the soles of your feet.
Using all your concentration, again focus your attention on the openings at the
bottom of your feet and once again breathe in air through these openings, comfortably
slow, comfortably deep. As before, feel the air move up your legs and into your
abdominal region as your lungs fill with air. Then, when you feel ready, exhale, allowing
the air to move slowly from your abdominal region, back through your legs and
out the soles of your feet.
Once again, please take three slow, deep breaths, this time through the soles of
your feet; and each time you exhale, feel a deep sense of relaxation all throughout
your body.
Now, with your concentration skills fully attentive, with your mind focused on
the openings of both the top of your head and the soles of your feet, use your imagination
to inhale air through both head and feet. As you do this, slowly allow the passage
of air entering from both head and feet to move toward the center of your body,
where it resides in the abdominal region until you exhale. Then, when you feel ready,
slowly exhale and direct the air that came in through the top of your head to exit
through the dolphin hole, while at the same time directing the air that entered
through the soles of your feet to leave from that point of entry. Once you have tried
this, repeat this combined breath three times, and with each exhalation, notice how
relaxed your body feels.
When you’re done, allow this image to fade from your mind, but retain the
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sense of deep relaxation this experience has instilled throughout your mind, body,
and spirit. Then take one final slow, deep breath, feeling the air come into your nose
or mouth, down into your lungs, and allow your stomach to extend out and then deflate
as you begin to exhale. Again, feel a deep sense of calm as you exhale.
When you feel ready, allow your eyes to slowly open to a soft gaze in front of
you, and bring your awareness back to the room where you now find yourself. As you
bring yourself back to the awareness of the room you are now in, you feel fully energized,
recharged, revitalized, and ready to accomplish whatever tasks await you
ahead.
Thoughts and Experiences
I enjoy doing deep breathing and visualization exercises. I can actually feel tingling in my
arms and legs and if I concentrate hard enough, I can feel the blood rushing toward my chest,
and then back toward my fingers and toes as I return from the deep relaxation. I can also feel
my arms and legs become heavy as I am entering into the deep relaxation. I feel that I am able
to forget about everything else that is happening in my environment during and after my
relaxation exercises.
Since I work in Labor and Delivery, I am able to help some of my laboring moms
use deep breathing exercises. Just a few days ago, I had a mom who was not pushing well, and
I told her to focus on her husband’s eyes as she was pushing and coached her when to breathe
and when to hold her breath for the push. It worked very well and both of them enjoyed having
her stare into his eyes while pushing.
The Art of Visualization exercise shows the importance of visualization for healing the mind, body,
and spirit. This exercise also shows the power of the mind; thinking positive yields positive results; and
this visualization can be applied to many different situations besides healing.
EXERCISE 20.1 I Have a Vision: The Art of Visualization
A popular song back in the 1960s had a line that went like this: “Thinking is the best way to
travel.” In many ways this is true. The mind has an incredible ability to project itself to many
places—some places the body might have been to, some only the mind visits in dreams.
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Traveling on the thoughts generated by the mind, we can go anywhere. No ticket or baggage is
required, only a desire and your imagination. If you had the ability to project yourself anywhere
to relax for an hour or so, where would you go? This journal theme invites you to plan five
mental mini-vacations and then use the powers of your imagination to take you there.
Visualization can also be used to heal the body by using your imagination to create a vision of
restored health of a specific organ or region of your body. In fact, visualization is one of the
leading techniques in mind-body medicine.
The purpose of this exercise, then, is to sharpen your imagination and relaxation skills so that
when you recognize your need to unwind you can escape, if only momentarily, to a place that
gives you peace of mind. When drafting these images, give as much detail as possible so you
can not only see them in your mind’s eye, but actually feel yourself there through all five senses.
What are some healing visualizations you can use to restore yourself to health?
One of my favorite healing visualizations is the beach. I love the beach, the feeling of the
sand, the sight, smell, sound, and feeling of the breeze and ocean waves. It is very relaxing,
and I was able to go to the beach for a weekend this past summer, so the memory of the beach
is still very fresh in my mind. I enjoy meditating and thinking of the beach, especially my most
recent trip there.
I also enjoy being in nature with the sights, sounds, smells, and touch of everything. I
love to sit on my porch and just enjoy the sound of the creek behind my house, the sound of the
birds, the animals walking in the woods, the breeze blowing, the smell of the flowers, the sight of
the blue sky and clouds. Sunsets and sunrises are also act as healing visualizations for me.
In the course Webliography, there are two guided mental imagery tracks that
accompany your text: (1) A Mountain Lake and (2) Rainbow Meditation. Listen to each of
these and write your impressions of each in the following space.
I enjoyed the Rainbow Meditation, and I was able to actually visualize each of the colors
emanating from my body and symbolism of each color. I could feel the heaviness in my body as
I became more relaxed with the meditation. It would be very easy to fall asleep after listening to
this meditation because it is very relaxing, although it is also refreshing.
I also enjoyed the Mountain Lake guided mental imagery track. I was able to visualize a
mountain lake and I could feel the calmness of the lake as I listened to the track. There is
something about water that allows me to feel calm, relaxed, and rejuvenated, so this track was
easy to reproduce that feeling. I could also feel my body becoming heavy and relaxed while
listening to this track, like the Rainbow Meditation track. Both of these tracks would be great to
listen to after a stressful day, and just before going to bed because they would induce a feeling
of calmness which would hopefully lead to a better night’s sleep.
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Unit 7: Nutrition and Stress
 Many people turn to food to fill an emotional void caused by stress. People may eat when they are
bored, anxious, or depressed. This excess eating can lead to obesity, heart disease, and many other acute
or chronic conditions (Seaward 2009).
 Some foods create more stress when consumed. These foods include sugar, caffeine, salt, and foods
that are not nutrient dense. Foods such as these can lead to a decreased immune response and make an
individual more prone to disease and illness (Seaward 2009).
 Food affects all aspects of the human body, including physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects.
Individuals should consume a wide variety and a balance of foods every day, including fruits, vegetables,
and grains (Seaward 2009).
Unit
7
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This exercise is important for this resource guide because fast food is contributing to the increased
obesity rate, as well as the increased stress in Americans. This book was read in a previous class taken at
Kaplan, and it has some interesting facts regarding fast food.
Unit 7 Exercises
EXERCISE 28.9 Fast Food Nation
Nobody in America is forced to buy fast food. The first step toward meaningful change is far the
easiest: stop buying it!
Eric Schlosser, Fast Food Nation
In 2001 Eric Schlosser wrote a landmark book entitled Fast Food Nation, in which he explored
behind the scenes of the fast food industry. In 2006 this book was made into a Hollywood
movie. What began as an article for Rolling Stone evolved into a year-long investigation for his
book. What he reveals about the fast food industry (mostly McDonald's, since that company
epitomizes it) is enough to make your stomach turn.
Here are some interesting facts from his book:
 In 1970, Americans spent about $6 billion on fast food; in 2010, they spent more than $120
billion.
 Americans now spend more money on fast food than on higher education.
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 On any given day about 25 percent of the adult population visits a fast food restaurant.
 McDonald's has employed an estimated one of every eight workers in the United States.
 Billions are spent each year to market fast food to toddlers to build life-long brand-name loyalty.
 Schools that once housed cafeterias now only carry fast food restaurants.
 Only Santa Claus has higher face recognition than Ronald McDonald among fictional
characters.
 What we eat (processed foods) has changed more in the last 40 years than in the previous 4,000.
 The United States has more prison inmates than full-time farmers.
 Every day approximately 200,000 people are sickened by a foodborne disease. The most
common cause of foodborne outbreaks has been the consumption of undercooked ground beef
containing E. coli O157:H7 (from animal feces).
 A single animal infected with E. coli O157:H7 can contaminate 32,000 pounds of that ground
beef.
 A single fast food hamburger now contains meat from dozens or even hundreds of different
cattle.
 More than likely you are among the millions of people who participate in the daily fast food
ritual. Reasons given by most college students include cost and convenience. It certainly isn't
nutrients.
This journal theme asks you to explore your fast food and junk food habits: What are they, and why
do you feel you have these habits? Sometimes, by actually taking time to write down what we do in
terms of our behaviors, we begin to see patterns that we don't normally see day to day. Finally,
contemplate this thought. Schlosser suggests that the fast food industry has had a tremendous impact
on American society as a whole, from poor-quality service to disposable meals. Please share your
comments on this aspect as well.
I will occasionally eat junk food, but it is very limited. I have not eaten any fast food in
over a year, and just the thought of it is enough to turn my stomach. I switched to mostly clean
eating over a year ago (at the same time I cut out fast food), and when I took Contemporary Diet and
60

Nutrition during my first term at Kaplan, this book was part of the curriculum. With the book and
the class, I have learned to stay far away from fast food, and I no longer crave it. Both of my boys
would also rather have a salad than anything from McDonalds.
I agree with Schlosser that the fast food industry has had a tremendous impact on the
American society as a whole. Many people are always in such a rush that it seems easier to grab fast
food and keep running than to slow down and actually make their own food. One of our windows at
work overlooks McDonalds, and it is overwhelming to see the ridiculous lines of cars waiting for
their drive-thru order. It is no wonder that obesity is America’s biggest problem when so many
American consume super-sized, unhealthy meals.
The Rainbow Diet Exercise is important because it is basically the opposite type of diet than a “fast food
diet.” This diet encourages healthy food choices to promote good health to each part of the body, as
opposed to eating junk food and fast food with empty calories.
EXERCISE 27.3 The Rainbow Diet
Food color is more important than just having a nice presentation on your dinner plate. Each
color holds a specific vibration in the spectrum of light. When this is combined with the nutrient
value of food, it can help to enhance the health of the physical body.
In the science of subtle energies, each of the body’s primary chakras is associated with a specific
color (see accompanying chart). It is thought that eating fruits and vegetables associated with
the color of various chakras provides healthy energy to that specific region. For example, women
with urinary tract infections (root chakra) are encouraged to drink cranberry juice (red). Diabetic
people with macular problems are encouraged to eat blueberries and take the herb bilberry
(blue). Moreover, recent research suggests that the active ingredients in fruits and vegetables
61

that give them their color, called bioflavonoids, help prevent cancer. Regardless of Eastern
philosophies or Western science, the bottom line is to eat a good variety of fruits and vegetables.
The following table identifies the seven chakras, their respective body regions, and the color
associated with each chakra or region. List five fruits, veggies, or herbs for each color.
Chakra Body Region Color Food Choices
7: Crown Pineal
Purple
Lavender, Eggplant, purple
grapes, purple plums, purple
cabbage
6: Brow Pituitary
Indigo
Prunes, raisins, blackberry,
black cherries, Boysenberries
5: Throat Thymus
Aqua blue
Blue corn, blueberries,
Juniper berries, Kelp, Pansy
flowers
4: Heart Heart
Green
Spinach, green beans, kiwi,
mint, limes
3: Solar plexus Adrenals
Yellow
Pineapples, spaghetti squash,
yellow squash, bananas,
lemons
2: Navel Spleen
Orange
Carrots, mangoes, oranges,
pumpkin, sweet potatoes
1: Root Gonads
Red
Cranberries, cherries, red
apples, Cayenne, strawberries
Additional Thoughts:
I knew that there were many foods in each color of the rainbow, and that each color of food is
good for a certain part of the body. However, I did not realize that some foods were available in
different colors (such as carrots), and I did not realize that the list was this extensive. This is
very interesting to understand how different foods can have an impact on our health. I have
been doing mostly clean eating for the past year, and I am always looking to experience new
flavors. Unfortunately many of these foods are not available in my immediate area, so I may
start making some longer trips to look for these foods.
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The following Journal addresses common Stress-Related Eating Behaviors, some of which
may not be associated with stress. When an individual becomes aware of these negative behaviors as
related to stress, he or she can take steps to change these behaviors into positive behaviors.
EXERCISE 27.1 Stress-Related Eating Behaviors
Please read the following statements and circle the appropriate answer. Then tally the total to
determine your score using the key below.
4 = Always 3 = Often 2 = Sometimes 1 = Rarely 0 = Never
1. I tend to skip breakfast on a regular basis. 4 3 2 1 0
2. On average, two or three meals are prepared
outside the home each day.
4 3 2 1 0
3. I drink more than one cup of coffee or tea a day. 4 3 2 1 0
4. I tend to drink more than one soda/pop per day. 4 3 2 1 0
5. I commonly snack between meals. 4 3 2 1 0
6. When in a hurry, I usually eat at fast food
places.
4 3 2 1 0
7. I tend to snack while watching television. 4 3 2 1 0
8. I tend to put salt on my food before tasting it. 4 3 2 1 0
9. I drink fewer than eight glasses of water a day. 4 3 2 1 0
10. I tend to satisfy my sweet tooth daily. 4 3 2 1 0
11. When preparing meals at home, I usually don’t
cook from scratch.
4 3 2 1 0
12. Honestly, my eating habits lean toward fast,
junk, processed foods.
4 3 2 1 0
13. I eat fewer than four to five servings of fresh
vegetables per day.
4 3 2 1 0
14. I drink at least one glass of wine, beer, or
alcohol a day.
4 3 2 1 0
15. My meals are eaten sporadically throughout the
day rather than at regularly scheduled times.
4 3 2 1 0
16. I don’t usually cook with fresh herbs and spices. 4 3 2 1 0
17. I usually don’t make a habit of eating organic
fruits and veggies.
4 3 2 1 0
18. My biggest meal of the day is usually eaten after
7:00 P.M.
4 3 2 1 0
19. For the most part, my vitamins and minerals
come from the foods I eat.
4 3 2 1 0
20. Artificial sweeteners are in many of the foods I
eat.
4 3 2 1 0
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Total Score 14
Scoring Key
A score of more than 20 points indicates eating behaviors are not conducive to reducing stress. A
score of more than 30 suggests eating habits may seriously compromise the integrity of your
immune system.
EXERCISE 27.2
This self-assessment is an important way of understanding stress as related to nutritional
habits. Certain foods can increase stress, and stress can also lead an individual to consume certain
“comfort foods” which can in turn cause more stress from weight gain, anxiety, etc.
Self-Assessment: Nutritional Eating Habits
1. Do you regularly consume caffeine? Yes No
2. List the foods that you ingest that contain caffeine
(e.g., coffee, tea, sodas, chocolate) and the estimated
amounts you consume per day.
Type of Food with
Caffeine
a. coffee or tea
Amount
per Day
1 cup
(usually
not
both)
3. Do you take vitamin supplements? If yes, what kinds? Yes Multivitamin,
Calcium
No
4. Do you frequently use table salt? Yes No
5. Do you eat one or more meals that are prepared
outside the home daily?
Yes usually
salads
No
6. Do you consume junk food (from vending machines or
convenience stores) regularly?
Yes No
7. Do you eat cereals that contain sugar? Yes No
8. Do you drink a lot of soft drinks? Yes No
9. Do you find that when you are stressed you tend to eat
more?
Yes No
10. Do you find that when you are angry you tend to eat
more?
Yes No
11. Do you eat a wide variety of fruits and vegetables? Yes No
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12. Do you eat foods (e.g., fish and nuts) with the
essentials oils (omega-3 and omega-6)?
Yes No
13. Do you tend to eat quickly (e.g., to wolf down your
food)?
Yes No
14. Do you tend to drink alcohol as a means to relax? Yes No
15. List your top five comfort foods: a. chocolate
b. organic tea with honey
c. fresh fruits
d. occasional ice cream
e. organic dark chocolate
almond milk
16. Describe any other eating habits that you associate
with a stressed lifestyle:
Irregular meal times due to work (no lunch break, long
hours, odd shifts), sometime unable to drink enough
water during the day while working due to being busy
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Unit 8: Physical Exercise and Activity
 “The body adapts, either negatively or positively, to the stress placed upon it. Proper physical exercise
will cause many adaptations that in the long term are thought to be effective in reducing the deleterious
effects of stress by returning the body to a profound state of homeostasis. Physical exercise allows the
body to use stress hormones for their intended purposes, detoxifying the body of stress hormones by
utilizing them constructively” (Seaward 2009).
 Exercise causes physiological and psychological changes in the mind and body, which suggest that the
mind and body function together. “Habitual physical exercise produces both physiological homeostasis
and mental homeostasis. Individuals who engage in regular physical exercise report higher levels of self-
esteem and lower incidences of depression and anxiety” (Seaward 2009).
 Understanding the body’s Circadian rhythm is an important part of knowing how stress affects the
body’s normal functions. When stress causes a change to these normal rhythms, the mind and physical
body endure more stress, and balance cannot occur within the mind, body, or spirit.
Unit
8
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The following exercise is important to give an individual an understanding of his or her self-esteem
and how it relates to body image. As self-esteem increases, personal perspectives on body image also will
become more positive.
EXERCISE 28.2 My Body, My Physique
Discovering your real self means the difference between freedom and the compulsions of
conformity.
--Maxwell Maltz
One often hears in California that “Nobody is ever satisfied with their hair.” The same could be
said about our bodies. We receive hundreds of messages a day from the media telling us that
our physiques just aren’t good enough. We spend hours and hours and gobs of money altering,
complementing, adding, shifting, subtracting, and glamorizing various aspects of our bodies just
to please other people in the hopes that we too can be pleased. Hair color, eye color, body
weight (too much, too little), aerobic this, anaerobic that, add inches here, take off pounds there
—it is fair to say that few people are completely satisfied with their bodies. But it doesn’t have to
be this way.
There is a strong connection between self-esteem and body image. The two go hand in hand. If
your level of self-esteem is low, so too will be your body image. In his book Psycho-Cybernetics,
Dr. Maxwell Maltz noted that many of his clients didn’t seem all that much happier after receiving
nose jobs and facelifts, which led him to the realization that the real change has to take place
inside first.
So how do you feel about your body, your physique?
1. Describe your body. First list all the things you like about your body and explain why. Next, if
so inclined, make a list of things you wish to improve.
I have learned to be happy with my body, especially because I have been successful at
losing weight. As I have lost more weight (40 pounds so far), I have become more active,
and the more active I become, the more my self-esteem improves. I also like my hair, and I
occasionally color it for a change, but it is one of my highlights, and it is a way of expressing
my confidence. Between coloring and using different hairstyles, it shows my individuality. I
also like my personality because I enjoy helping others any way that I can, and I feel that I
am very easy-going, easy to get along with, and I can tolerate a lot of stress, although I do
not always show my stress toward others (this is one thing that is required in my job as a
nurse). I am also happy with how I have been able to change my perspective on many
things, and on life in general. I have learned to look at the positive side of almost every
situation as much as possible.
Although I have lost a good amount of weight, I have a desire to lose more weight. If
and when I lose another 15 pounds, I will have a healthy BMI and will no longer be
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overweight. I am actually to the point that I am working on this goal, but I am not obsessed
with it to the point that it is my sole focus.
2. Do you compare yourself with others? If you do, you’re not alone. Actually, this is pretty
common for both men and women, especially in college when your identity is still being
formulated: Grooming yourself for that very important first impression can take priority over
a term paper every time. So what is it you find yourself comparing with other people? Why?
I make every attempt to not compare myself to other people because I try to be my own
individual. I do feel a little jealousy toward others at times, especially when they are more
athletic than I am, but I try not to compare myself to them. I know that with hard work and
dedication, I will eventually be able to run a mile in 10 minutes, if that is what I want to do.
I always remember where I have come from before I made the effort to even try to run at
all, and this helps me to remember not to compare myself to others.
3. The American public is obsessed with weight and weight gain. There is some good reason for
this because of the relationship between obesity and diseases such as cancer, diabetes, and
heart disease, but the concern has become an obsession for most people. Is your weight a
concern for you? If so, how?
My weight is a concern for me, but it is no longer an obsession. I am still overweight, but
I am no longer obese. I have learned to change my diet and make healthy food choices, and
I am more consistent in my exercising while making every attempt to become healthy. My
weight fluctuates day to day, like most people, so I do not get upset when the scale reads
two pounds more today than it did yesterday. I occasionally eat “junk food” but I do not
make it a habit, and I do not eat fast food. I also do not get upset for eating dessert once in
a while because I know that overall, I have come a long way and I am on a path to becoming
and staying healthy. I was previously dealing with chronic back and knee pain, more and
more asthma attacks, and generally low energy. I finally reached a point that I had enough
of feeling miserable, and that is when I started to make a lifestyle change. Since making this
change to lose weight, I have not had any migraines (it’s been over a year), I’ve lost weight,
increased my self-confidence, feeling less back and knee pain, having less asthma attacks,
sleeping better, and having more energy overall. I plan to keep following the path that I am
on, and I know that I will eventually lose the rest of the weight that I set out to lose.
4. Taking to heart Maxwell Maltz’s notion of making the first change within, can you think of any
perceptions, attitudes, and beliefs you can begin to alter so that changes you do make to
your physique are long-lasting ones with which you feel content?
When I went through my divorce, I realized that if I did not give my boys a happy and
healthy life, no one else would do it for me. It is a work in progress (three years later), but I
am still improving. I set out to make myself better in any way possible, including going to
church, losing weight, and changing my attitude to a more positive perspective. As I started
doing all of these things, I began to feel better about myself overall, and I have noticed a
difference in the attitudes sof my boys as well. I also saw an increase in my self-confidence,
especially when I made a conscious decision to make a positive outlook on as many
situations as possible. With increased self-confidence, it was also easier to see a more
positive outcome from many situations, as well as a more positive physique.
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Circadian rhythms are important to understand how the daily routine affects the body. When these
rhythms are interrupted, it causes the body to become unbalanced, and creates more stress for the mind and
body.
EXERCISE 28.3 Your Circadian Rhythms
Your body runs on a twenty-four-hour-plus clock, based on the earth spinning on its axis around
the sun. Research shows that people who keep to a regular schedule tend to be healthier (fewer
colds, flus, etc.) than those whose lifestyle behaviors tend to be more erratic, because these
tend to stress the body. In this exercise you are asked to monitor your lifestyle behaviors based
on the time of day that these occur for the period of a full week.
Week of October 12- October 18 (courtesy of my FitBit tracking)
Circadian
Rhythms
Sun. Mon. Tues. Wed. Thurs. Fri. Sat.
1. Time
that you
awake
each
morning
7 am 7:19 am 6:59 am 7:04 am 6:47 am 4:36 am 7:31 am
2. Time
that you go
to bed
12:00 am 10:20 pm 10:50 pm 11:16 pm 10:26 pm 9:54 pm 10:35 pm
3. Time
that you
fall asleep
12:15 am 10:34 pm 11:15 pm 11:22 pm 10:37 pm 10:03 pm 10:55 pm
4. Time
that you
eat
breakfast
8:10 am 7:50 am 7:45 am 7:50 am 7:35 am 7:15 am 8:05 am
5. Time
that you
eat lunch
12:30 pm 11:30 am 11:45 am 11:35 am 11:50 am 12:15 pm 11:55 am
6. Time
that you
eat dinner
6:30 pm 5:40 pm 5: 35 pm 5:20 pm 6:30 pm 6:00 pm 5:45 pm
7. Times
that you
snack
10:15
am,
2:30 pm
10am,
3pm
9:45 am,
3pm
9:30 am,
2pm
9:15 am,
3:30 pm
9:45 am,
3pm
10am;
2:30pm
8. Times of
bowel
After
breakfast,
After
breakfast,
After
breakfast,
After
breakfast,
After
breakfast,
After
breakfast,
After
breakfast,
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movements after
supper
before
bed
before
bed
before
bed
before
bed
before
bed
before
bed
9. Times
that you
exercise
9am 9am 9am 9am 9am
Injury-
unable to
exercise
Injury-
unable to
exercise
10. Times
that you
have sex
Before
bed, early
am after
waking
N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A N/A
11. Other
regular
activities
N/A Errands-
all day
N/A N/A N/A Errands-
all day
N/A
HW410: Unit 8 Journals
Physical exercise is an important component in dealing with stress in the aspects of mind,
body, and spirit. Since the human body is designed to physically move, more stress will be present if
the body does not engage in exercise.
EXERCISE 28.1 Physical Exercise
In simplest terms, we are physical animals with a human spirit. As human beings we were never
meant to sit behind a desk for eight to ten hours a day. Human anatomy and physiology were
designed to find a balance between motion and stillness, stress and homeostasis, exercise and
relaxation. Some would say that the mounting incidence of disease and illness is a result of being
out of physiological balance.
In this day and age, in which stress is at an all-time high, our bodies kick out several stress
hormones, which, if not used for their intended purpose (to mobilize the body’s systems for fight
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or flight), circulate throughout the body and tend to wreak havoc on various organs and
constituents of the immune system. Physical exercise is considered the best way to keep the
physiological systems of the body in balance, from stress hormones and adipose tissue to the
integrity of bone cells and macrophages of the immune system.
Exercise doesn’t have to be all that hard or time consuming. Perhaps the more important thing
than what you do, is just making the time to do it. Mark Twain once said, “Oh, I get the urge to
exercise every now and then, but I just lie down till it goes away.” This may be humorous, but
the truth of the matter is that physical exercise is what we need to promote the balance and
integrity of our physiological systems. Although there is no doubt we seem to have a certain
magnetic attraction to the couch and TV, this pattern of behavior has proved to be hazardous to
our health.
1. Describe your exercise habits, including the formula for success (intensity, frequency, and
duration of exercise).
Unfortunately, I do not exercise consistently. Last year, I started doing Zumba 5-6 days
per week, for 45-65 minutes per day, and I started losing weight. I also started running (on
average, about a mile; interval training), and would alternate running and Zumba until I
started school. I am making every effort to exercise at least 3-5 days per week (either
running or Zumba), but some weeks it is only two days. I still do Zumba for 45-65 minutes,
and I run/power walk for at least 30 minutes. I just re-started my membership at the gym,
so I plan on going at least once per week during the winter, and I will be training for a 5K in
April, so I will make every effort to be consistent with my training during the winter. As soon
as I graduate in the spring, I am planning on exercising 5-6 days per week again, and
alternating running, Zumba, and gym time (I like the 30 minute express circuit).
2. What are your favorite activities? If for some reason you were injured and couldn’t do your
favorite activity, what would be your second option for exercise?
I enjoy running (something that I never thought that I would do), and Zumba. I have
been injured and was on restrictions from both. I started walking for a while, until I was put
on restrictions for that as well. When I wasn’t able to do any of these activities, I turned to
Yoga. Some days, I still need to modify my Zumba due to an old knee injury. If I cannot do
the jumps and turns, I do more stretching instead during that move.
3. What do you do to motivate yourself when you are less than inspired to get up and out the
door? What are some additional incentives to maintain a regular exercise regimen?
I am motivated to lose weight, and I am so close to my goal. I have 15 pounds left to
lose to hit my goal, so that is keeping me motivated. I also am trying to show my boys that
it is very important to live an active lifestyle, especially because that is something that I have
never done until the past year. They have seen me at my heaviest weight, and they know
that I did not have much energy to play with them or do activities with them at that time,
and I want to avoid making them feel that way down the road. I also feel better after
exercising; I have energy to get through the rest of the day. Exercising also encourages me
to eat healthy because I am making every attempt to become healthy and stay healthy. I
also want to be a role model to others, and tell them that if I can do it, they can do it too.
My kids also keep me motivated because they ask to go for bike rides (while I run), and my
oldest (6 year old) sometimes likes to run with me. My FitBit is also a major motivator
because I enjoy watching the lights on it, and when I hit 10,000 steps in one day, it flashes
and vibrates to remind me that I am doing a good job.
4. Most people say that they cannot find the time to exercise. Considering classes, studying,
work, social obligations, and the like, it is hard to fit in everything. So the question of
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priorities comes to mind. What are your priorities in terms of your health? Do you see your
perspective changing in the course of your life? Right now, what can you do to find (make)
the time to get physical exercise every day?
Time is one of my biggest problems right now. I actually cut back on hours at work (I
only lost 8 hours in two weeks, so not that big of a pay difference) because I was not
sleeping well, skipping meals, and feeling tired all the time from working 12-hour shifts.
Some days, I try to do 20 minute bouts of exercise, and I can aim to do this twice per day,
although it does not always happen. My perspectives regarding my health have definitely
changed over the past year, and I foresee more changes after I graduate and no longer have
to worry about classwork. At this point, I try to utilize every minute of my day. When both
of my boys have school (two days per week), I am using that two hour block to go to the
gym, and when they are with their dad on weekends, I also plan on going to the gym. When
they are with me, they like to do Zumba or dance as well, so we do it together. I also like to
play music, and we have “random dance parties” where we dance and sing to music while we
are cleaning.
5. Sketch out a quick weekly program of exercise, including days to work out, time of day, and
activity.
Sunday-rest day, maybe some Yoga early morning for 20 minutes before church
Monday and Tuesday-work 7-3, come home, do Zumba or Dance game for 20 minutes
while I am waiting on supper to finish cooking.
Wednesday-Boys have Caravan at church for an hour, so I can usually run on the rail trail
(nice and flat!) while they are at Caravan. I actually do run/power walk intervals for 45-
50 minutes so I can gradually increase my stamina.
Thursday-After dropping off both boys at school, I can head to the gym and get a good
60 minute workout in before running back to get my youngest at preschool.
Friday-work 7-3, same as Monday and Tuesday where I can do Zumba for 20 minutes
until supper is finished cooking.
Saturday (boys will be with their dad)-wake up and head straight to the gym before I
start doing anything else to give me an excuse not to go to the gym. I can get in a 45-60
minute workout, and include the circuit.
In a perfect world, this would work for me. However, work tends to be inconsistent with
different shifts, and sometimes 12-hour shifts. Hopefully all of this will change for the
better in a few short months, and I can have a job with consistent hours and days,
leaving me more of a consistent exercise routine.
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Circadian, infradian, and ultradian rhythms are important to help an individual understand how the
body functions over time. When these rhythms are changed due to increased stress, the body may endure
more stress because of feeling out of balance.
EXERCISE 28.4 My Body’s Rhythms
The body has an internal clock that runs on a twenty-four- to twenty-five-hour day. If you were
to lock yourself away from all the natural elements (sunlight, temperature fluctuations, etc.) and
the grip of technology (TVs, radios, computers, etc.), as some people have for research
purposes, your body would fall into a natural pattern, its circadian rhythm. To a large extent,
these rhythms are based on and are strongly influenced by the elements of the natural world:
the earth’s rotation, the gravitational pull, the earth’s axis, and several other influences of which
we are probably not even aware.
Other rhythms influence our bodies as well: infradian rhythms (less than twentyfour-hour cycles)
such as stomach contractions for hunger and rapid eye movement cycles, and ultradian rhythms
(more than twenty-four-hour cycles), such as menstrual periods and red blood cell formation.
As we continue to embrace the achievements of high technology and separate ourselves even
further from the reach of nature, we throw off our body’s natural rhythms. When these rhythms
are thrown off for too long a time, various organs that depend on the regularity of these rhythms
go into a state of dysfunction.
College life holds no particular order for body rhythms. You can eat dinner one day at 6:00 P.M.
and the next day at 9:30 P.M. We won’t even talk about sleep! Perhaps at a young age your
body can rebound from these cyclical irregularities. More likely than not, though, regular
disruptions in the body’s rhythms will manifest quickly in various ways such as irritability,
fatigue, lack of hunger, restless sleep and insomnia, low resistance to illness, and lowered
mental capacities.
1. What is your general sense of your body’s rhythms?
My body’s rhythms tend to be pretty regular, and when one of my rhythms is changed, I can
usually get back on track easily. Most of the changes deal with work, requiring me to wake
up earlier than usual, but I am able to deal with less sleep for a day or two until I need to go
to bed earlier to make up for the lost sleep. My meal times are also changed many times
because of work, but I try very hard to at least have a hearty snack if I am unable to eat a
meal at work.
2. Do you keep to a regular schedule with regard to eating, sleeping, and exercise? Or does the
time you do these vary from day to day?
Most days, these schedules vary. I was fortunate to not work this week (due to injury and
on-call time) so this week was pretty regular. Even when I am working, I try to stay with
this regular schedule as much as possible. Depending on other events happening during the
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day, my regular schedule may change as well due to school activities, odd shift times at
work, or anything else that may come up at the last minute.
3. How closely are you connected with nature? Do you spend time outdoors every day? Do you
find yourself more tired, perhaps even more irritable, as we shift from autumn into winter?
Do you find yourself more energized, perhaps more positive or optimistic, as we shift from
winter to spring?
I feel that I am closely connected with nature. I definitely find myself more tired and
requiring more sleep during the colder winter months. I also definitely feel more energized
as spring and summer are upon us. I have a deep appreciation for sunsets, sunrises,
rainbows, leaves changing colors, snow, flowers blooming, etc. When I see any of these
natural beauties, it makes me feel more positive.
4. If you are a woman, what is the regularity of your menstrual period? Can you identify a
pattern with your nutritional habits, stress levels, and other daily rituals that may influence
your menses?
My menstrual period is not regular, but it is because of an IUD for birth control. Prior to
having my IUD placed, I was very regular, exactly every 28 days. I also noticed that if I
became extra stressed, I would not be as regular, or the cramps would be worse. Although I
usually go three to four months at a time without a menstrual period, sometimes I will get it
twice in a month or two months in a row if I am over-stressed for a long period of time.
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Unit 9: Applying Stress: Critical Issues for
Management and Prevention to your
Professional Life
 “For a coping technique to be effective, it must do one or all of the following: increase awareness of
the cause of stress, help process information about the stressor, and adjust attitude and possibly
behavior to work toward a peaceful resolution” (Seaward 2009). Not all coping techniques will
work for everyone, but the individual must be willing to make a conscious decision to try different
techniques in order to learn to effectively decrease stress.
 Since hobbies are activities that an individual enjoys doing, hobbies can sometimes be used as a
positive way of decreasing stress. Hobbies can influence increased self-esteem, which can lead to
other positive areas of an individual’s life (Seaward 2009).
 Forgiveness allows negative, toxic feelings to be released, which in turn can cause release of stress
hormones from the body. The goal of forgiveness is for a peaceful resolution, instead of a negative
outlook (Seaward 2009).
Unit
9
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This exercise is included in this resource guide because it is important to know who composes an
individual’s social support group. Everyone has different definitions for friends, and having friends and a
support group is vital to stress management and personal well-being.
Chapter 17 Additional Coping Techniques
EXERCISE 17.1 Defining Your Support Group
Support groups are vital to the quality and length of our lives. Support groups are composed of
friends, colleagues, peers, neighbors, and perhaps most of all, family members. Your support
group is made up of those people to whom you feel closest who are there to socialize with, give
you a helping hand, or provide a shoulder to cry on when you feel like doing so. The following
exercise is designed to help you reinforce the foundations of your support group.
1. Create what you think is the best definition of a friend. A friend is:
an individual with whom you feel mutual trust and can communicate with openly.
2. Make a list of those people who you feel constitute your support group.
a. My closest male friends are: Walt (my boyfriend) and Adam (my brother)
b. My closest female friends are: Julie, Heather, Nicki (my cousin), my mom
c. The friends I know I can share any problem with at any time include: Walt, Julie,
Nicki, Heather, Adam, mom
d. The friends I can call to go play or go shopping include: Walt, Nicki, Julie, Heather,
mom
e. These friends energize me; they don’t drain my energy: Walt, Nicki, Heather, Julie
f. Friends on whom I know I can call for a favor at any time include: Walt, Julie, Adam
g. Friends who are my mentors include: Walt, Heather, mom, Adam
h. Friends who expand my personal horizons with new ideas or activities are: Walt, Julie,
Nicki
3. How has your support group changed over the past five years? Are all of your “friends”
on Facebook really part of your support network?
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Over the past five years, my support group has changed as I have lost contact with some
friends, and I have met new people to fill empty places in the circle. Not all of my “friends”
on Facebook are really part of my support network because many of them are former
classmates or current or former coworkers. The people who are closest to me know things that
are not posted on Facebook. I also know personal things about my close friends that are not
posted on Facebook. Many of my “friends” have also been deleted because they only post
negative comments or because there was no communication between us.
4. Some people in our support groups tend to drain our energy rather than replenish it. Do
you have friends like this?
Sometimes any of my friends could be like this depending on their current needs. As
long as it is not a long term issue, it usually does not seem to be a problem. Lately my
mom seems to be draining my energy because she is constantly complaining about having
pain or being unable to physically move. I love my mom and I understand that she has
some physical (and possibly some mental problems-maybe depression), but there have
been times that I have told her that she really needs to see a doctor and find out what can
be done for her situation because it is draining to me and everyone else involved.
If so, how do you cope with them?
Usually, if this goes on so long, I will mention it to them, and I try to do it in a nice way
instead of telling them that they are just being annoying and draining. Most times I will offer
to help them any way that I possibly can. For example, I have offered gotten groceries for my
mom at times when she is in a lot of pain. I make every attempt to help people instead of
simply walking away from them and making them feel lonely and more depressed or needy.
5. What factors in your life detract from your ability to be there for others in your support
group?
My crazy work schedule (no set days or hours) definitely detracts from my ability to be
there for others in my support group. I am also a single mom of two young boys, and I
am going to school full time. I also need to have time for my boys and my personal
activities in order to be able to help others in my support group.
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6. It has often been said that we can never have enough friends. Although this may be true, you
cannot spend quality time with everyone, because this weakens the integrity of true friends.
What do you do to nurture the connections between you and your friends? In other words, how
are you a good friend to others?
I am a good friend by taking time to communicate with my friends on occasion. It may be
every day, it may be once per week, or it may be a few times per month. Everyone who knows
me knows that I will go out of my way to do something that is needed for someone else. If
someone calls or sends me a text, I will always reply, and I make it a point to reply within 24
hours, although it is usually much less time than that. I have made meals and taken them to
friends in need, gotten groceries for people, or picked them up if they need a ride to go
somewhere.
7. For a variety of reasons, friends tend to come and go in our lives. New friends can
become a collective breath of fresh air in our lives. New friends are harder to make and
keep as we age. It helps to continually foster new interests and hobbies. Make a list of three
new places where you can begin to meet new people to add as possible members of your
support group.
a. Walt’s friends and family can possibly be added to my support group as I get to know
them. We have only been in a relationship for a few months, so this is a great opportunity for
me to meet new people.
b. I will be graduating in less than six months, so that will hopefully lead to a new job
opportunity. With a new job also comes an opportunity to make new friends.
c. Our staff is continually changing at work, so as other people start on our unit, I can have
more opportunity to make new friends.
8. Any other comments you wish to share about the topic of friendship?
Friendship is like any other relationship. It is bound to have ups and downs, but it takes two
people to make it work. Relationships are meant to be nurtured so that they can continue to grow.
Trust and communication are crucial to friendships and relationships, and each person involved
must offer something to the relationship in order for it to continue to move forward.
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“Friends in Need” is a good exercise to include in this resource guide to encourage
individuals to be a good friend in return. If someone has friends but does not return the favor of
being a good friend, relationships will not last because one person is always giving while the
other is taking, instead of sharing the giving and taking with each other.
EXERCISE 17.4 Friends in Need
And let there be no purpose in friendship, save the deepening of the spirit.
Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
What is a friend? Perhaps it’s someone with whom to share precious moments of your life.
Perhaps a friend is a person to whom we confide our innermost thoughts and feelings. Maybe a
friend is someone just to be there when we need a helping hand or a comforting hug. Friends are
all this and more.
Human beings are social by nature. Although times of being alone can serve as a great way to
energize the soul, it is to our advantage to balance solitude with interactions. We need exchanges
with people to whom we feel close, our network of friends and family.
Some interesting findings have emerged from research investigating the health and longevity of
the world’s oldest living citizens. We now know that involvement with friends, who make up our
social support group, is as important to our health as regular exercise, proper nutrition, and sleep.
In troubled times our friends can help buffer or neutralize the stress and tension we feel and serve
as an effective means to cope with stress.
As we grow and mature in our own lives, so do the relationships with our friends. The bonds we
have with some people continually strengthen over time and distance, whereas others seem to fray
or fade. We often attract people into our lives with similar interests and ambitions. In some cases,
our closest friends can seem more like family than our brothers and sisters. In every case,
friendships, like houseplants and pets, need attention and nurturing. Every now and then, it is a
good idea to take a moment to evaluate our friendships to see whether they are truly fulfilling our
needs. This inventory of friends can let us know if we have outgrown, or grown apart from, some
people, and why. It can also make us aware of the qualities that constitute a good, close, or best
friend, and the difference between a good friend and an acquaintance. We also need to evaluate
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whether we are making an equal contribution to each relationship. Here are some questions to
help you with this assessment.
1. How would you best define the word friend? What does being a friend mean to you?
A friend is someone familiar who carries on conversations and fulfills a need. One of the
needs as human beings is to communicate with other people, and a friend fulfills this need
of communication. A friend also fulfills the need of companionship and belonging.
Being a friend has many meanings. By being a friend, an individual is able to fulfill
another individual’s needs of companionship and communication. Friends help each other
out, and sometimes anticipate what someone else will need or want. Trust is a huge part of
being a friend. If an individual cannot be trusted, or cannot trust someone else, friendship
is not likely to develop or pursue.
2. What is it that draws a person into your life to become a friend?
Friends tend to have common interests. When I was in school, I would be drawn to the
kids that seemed to not have many friends. I can get along with anyone, and I always
enjoy being in the company of other people, so I always tried to make these kids feel better
by having someone to talk to. Many times, these kids would open up and start talking, and
we would discover that we have common interests, which would eventually lead to
friendship. We would enjoy talking about our common interests, and many times we
could also begin to interest each other in different activities as well. Some of those people
I still keep in contact with, while others have gone separate ways.
3. Make a list of all your current friends. Are any members of your family in this group?
How has this list changed over the past five years?
I honestly consider one of my cousins to also be one of my best friends. We grew up
next door to each other, and we still talk, text, hang out occasionally, and go to the gym
together. I have also considered my mom and my Grammy to be some of my best
friends as well. We have always been close, and we continue to be close and talk on
the phone or visit often. Over the past five years, this list of friends has changed
somewhat. Some of my older friends have moved away or gotten married, and we
seem to have lost contact. Some of my friends from high school are still in close
contact. There were some disagreements that have come between friendship, which is
unfortunate. With some of these friends, I have made amends, and others do not take
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steps to match my effort for making amends, so unfortunately communication is
broken. My brother and I have also become closer; more like friends than siblings
over the past few years. Previously, it seemed that we did not seem to have a
friendship. I have also made some new friends over the past few years as I have met
new people.
4. How would you evaluate your current circle of friends? Do you have several
acquaintances that you call friends?
With my current circle of friends, some of them I am able to communicate with more
often than others. I seem to have a small circle of “friends” with whom I communicate
with and hang out with frequently. I also have many acquaintances; most of them
coworkers, whom I usually do not refer to as being friends. I usually consider friends
to be in close contact, or people with whom I will frequently do things with them and
share my personal life with them. Although I work well with my coworkers, I usually
do not engage in leisure activities with coworkers or acquaintances. Most of my
reasoning for this is because I tend not to share my personal life with people unless I
consider them to be close friends.
5. Does your support group consist of people in different social circles, or is yours a closed
circle of friends? Why would friends in different circles be of value?
My support group consists of people in different social circles, including friends, family,
and acquaintances. Different situations will draw me toward different social support
groups. Friends in different circles can be of value for different opinions and different
support. For example, a support group with only a small closed circle of friends may all
agree with one another, although the agreement may not be in the best interest. Different
circles of support can lead to different opinions, and allow individuals to keep an open
mind regarding many situations.
6. What keeps your bonds of friendship strong, and what tends to let some friendships fade
away?
Communication is definitely a major factor in keeping strong bonds of friendship. As
human beings, when someone stops communicating with us, we no longer feel that sense
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of belonging so we tend to stray from the relationship. Arguments and disagreements may
also let some friendships fade away. Although no relationship is possible without an
occasional disagreement, forgiveness is the key to these disagreements. When one person
is not able to agree, compromise, or forgive someone else, relationships tend to suffer and
possibly dissolve.
7. Are there any additional comments you wish to add here?
Communication, trust, forgiveness and compromise are key components to any
relationship, including friendships. All relationships will have disagreements at some
point, but the importance of these disagreements lies in how they are handled, and will
determine the future of the relationship.
This journal shows how hobbies and other interests can play a role in stress management. Since
hobbies and interests are activities that keep the mind busy, they can lead to increased happiness and decreased
stress.
EXERCISE 17.2 Hobbies and Outside Interests
Here is a question to consider: What would you do for a living if your career didn’t exist? Here is
another question: If money wasn’t a factor in sustaining your desired lifestyle, how would you
spend the rest of your life? Hobbies and outside interests provide a sense of balance to the long
hours of work that tend to define who we are in this world. The truth is that you are not your job,
your career, or even your paycheck. Yet, without claiming some outside interests as a significant
part of your life, it becomes easy to see yourself as a passive victim in a rapidly changing world.
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1. What are your current outside interests? Name three things or activities in which you partake
on a regular (weekly) basis.
a. I enjoy trying different exercises, whether it is a different song for Zumba, or a different
machine at the gym. I try to do something different at least once per week while exercising.
b. I enjoy nature, and at least once per week (usually more often), I will take some time to
just sit and listen, smell, and watch what is happening in nature, such as sunsets, sunrises,
leaves changing colors, snow falling, rain hitting the roof, etc.
c. I enjoy doing photography, and at least once per week I try to take some photos of my
kids or other things of importance to me. I may use my iPhone, or my camera, but I am
often using some device to take pictures.
2. If you had a hard time coming up with three specific outside interests that qualify as true
hobbies, or perhaps you are looking for some new interest to enter your life, consider examples of
things you have always wanted to do or to get involved with. What groups or organizations have
you wanted to become a member of that can help get you started in this direction?
a. I would like to become a runner; not for marathons, but to be able to run to support some
causes that are important to me. Parunners.com can possibly help to motivate me to continue my
running, and they can also help me to look for races in my area to help support these causes.
b. I would like to be able to advance my photography skills. I could check into some
photography classes, or ask to intern with a local photographer.
c. I also have an interest in healthy eating and healthy living. There are many magazines and
online resources to help with this, and I can use this information to help others in the future as
well.
3. Playing the guitar, knitting a sweater, or making plans to remodel the kitchen are great things to
do, but they require time. Making time for hobbies and outside interests requires some discipline.
What steps do you take to ensure that you have the time to fulfill the passions of your personal
outside interests?
I tend to take frequent breaks from almost everything that I do. For example, when I am
doing homework, I usually only work about 30-60 minutes, then take a short break so that I am
able to continue to focus on my homework. When I take these breaks, it can offer a short time to
do something in order to take my mind off of my homework. Although it may take longer to
learn something new (such as playing the guitar), it will shift my focus for a short time while
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allowing me to get in some time for outside interests. I also engage my kids in almost everything
that I possibly can, because they enjoy learning new things as well, so we can all learn together.
4. Would you say that your involvement in one or more of your hobbies has a transfer effect on
other aspects of your life? If so, how? Please explain:
My hobby of learning about healthy eating and healthy living has a transfer effect on other
aspects of my life. I became more interested in this over a year ago, and I try to read as many
articles as possible since this aspect is always changing as new information and research becomes
available. I am returning to school to become a wellness coach so that I can teach others how to
apply this critical information to their lives as well, since I have committed myself to some major
lifestyle changes because of this information. I hope that I can be a positive influence for others
to do the same when they see the journey that I have personally followed to become healthy.
Practicing forgiveness is vital to stress management. If an individual holds resentment toward
another person or situation, that resentment will only lead to increased stress, but by letting go of that
feeling, an individual is able to have more control over negative stress.
EXERCISE 17.5 Sweet Forgiveness
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
Indira Gandhi
Every act of forgiveness is an act of unconditional love. If unresolved anger is a toxin to the spirit,
then forgiveness is the antidote. Where anger is a roadblock, forgiveness is a ladder to climb
above and transcend the experience. For forgiveness to be complete and unconditional, you must
be willing to let go of all feelings of anger, resentment, and animosity. Sweet forgiveness cannot
hold any taste of bitterness, because these feelings are mutually exclusive. Victimization is a
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common feeling when one encounters stressors in the form of another person’s behaviors. When
we sense that our human rights have been violated, feelings of rage can quickly turn into feelings
of resentment. Left unresolved, these toxic thoughts can taint the way we treat others and
ourselves.
Forgiving those who we feel have wronged us is not an easy task. Often it’s a process, and at
times, a very long process at that. Yet turning the other cheek does not mean you have to let
people walk all over you. Forgiveness is not a surrender of your self-esteem, nor is it a
compromise of your integrity. When you can truly forgive the behavior of those by whom you
feel violated, you let go of the feelings of control and become free to move on with your life.
Resentment and grudges can become roadblocks on the human path. Forgiveness turns a hardened
heart into an open passageway to progress on life’s journey. Think for a moment of someone who
might have violated your humanness. Is it time to let go of some toxic thoughts and initiate a
sense of forgiveness?
To begin this journal entry, write the name of that person or those persons toward whom you feel
some level of resentment. Beside each name write down what action or behavior it was that
offended you and why you feel so violated. What feelings arise in you when you see this person
or even hear his or her name? Next, make a note of how long you have felt this way toward this
person. Finally, search your soul for a way to forgive the people on your list, even if it means just
acknowledging their human spirit. Then practice the act of forgiveness as best you can, and let the
feelings of resentment go.
The person that I have the most resentment toward is my ex-husband. I feel that he cannot let go
of the fact that our marriage did not work out, and he usually is not very nice to me. This is probably
because he has resentment toward me for ending our marriage. I usually feel angry when I hear his
name, and sometimes jealousy if his name is spoken by my kids. I have felt this way ever since our
separation, which has been almost three years. I have been working on this attitude toward him since
the first time that I noticed I was feeling that way. I am making every attempt at convincing myself
that everyone is different and has different ways of doing things, so my way of doing things may not
be the right way for everyone. I also made a promise to myself that I would not show any negative
emotions toward him in front of my boys, including anger, jealousy, or resentment. I am good a
hiding these emotions from him and from our boys, and I am to the point that he still manages to
upset me or anger me at times, but I have realized that it is not worth it for me to keep feeling this way
for a long period of time because it will only cause me to feel increased negativity. I am generally a
85

happy person and can get along with almost everyone, so I refuse to let one person ruin my day or my
attitude because I have more important things to worry about than being angry or resentful.
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Additional Information
Dunn, J. (2014). Stressproof your body. Health, 28(9), 116.
*This recent article is from Health magazine, and it is very interesting regarding some of the
physical and mental effects of stress on the body. Although it is geared toward women, it would be
suitable for men to read as well because everyone can be affected in different ways by stress.
This is a secondary source because it offers information that has been shown to be a result of
stress so it is a step past the event. There are pictures included that could be primary sources.
Office on Women’s Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. (2012, July 16). Stress
and your health fact sheet. Retrieved October 27, 2014 from
http://womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/stress-your-health.html
*This government-run web site is geared toward women’s health and describes common
stressors and how these stressors may affect overall well-being. It also has some related information,
such as information for depression, anxiety, and mental health.
This is an example of a secondary source because it is written about the effects of stress. The
stress most likely has already happened and this article is looking back on the effects that had
happened during the time of stress.
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Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why zebras don’t get ulcers, 3rd ed. New York: Times Books.
*Sapolsky’s book is a good resource for understanding the importance of managing stress.
This book also describes some of the effects that stress can have on the body.
This is a secondary source, because the book was written after stress had happened. Sapolsky
uses some primary sources as references.
Women’s Health. (2014). Women’s health magazine. Retrieved October 27, 2014 from
http://www.womenshealthmag.com/search/stress
*This web site is the official site for Women’s Health Magazine. Search for “stress” and
multiple articles come up related to stress, and can be read online.
This is a secondary source because the articles are written about stress. Some of the articles
contained on this site may be primary sources, so the web site in general is a secondary source.
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References
American Heart Association. (2013, March 22). Target Heart Rates. Retrieved September 7,
2014 from http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/GettingHealthy/PhysicalActivity/Target-
Heart-Rates_UCM_434341_Article.jsp
MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia. (2014, August 15). Television watching. U.S. National
Library of Medicine. Retrieved August 31, 2014 from
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002329.htm
Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why zebras don’t get ulcers, 3rd ed. New York: Times Books.
Seaward, B. L. (2009). Managing stress: principles and strategies for health and well-being (6th
ed.). Sudbury, Mass.: Jones and Bartlett Publishers.
Trilliantoo. (2008, August 5). Eating all the colors of the rainbow: A list of foods, their colors,
and their benefits. SparkPeople. Retrieved October 12, 2014 from
http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=1382920
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