Texts from practice and progress longman edition

1 A Private
Conversation
Last week I went to the theatre. I had a
very good seat. The play was very inter-
esting. I did not enjoy it. A young man
and a young woman were sitting behind
me. They were talking loudly. I got very
angry. I could not hear the actors. I
turned round. I looked at the man and the
woman angrily. They did not pay any
attention. In the end, I could not bear it.
I turned round again. 'I can't hear a
word!' I said angrily.
' It's none of your business,' the young
man said rudely. 'This is a private con-
versation !' ' // s none of your business

2 Breakfast or Lunch ?
It was Suriday. I never get up early on
Sundays. I sometimes stay in bed until
lunch time. Last Sunday I got up very
late.I looked out of the window. It was
dark outside, 'What a day!' I thought.
'It's raining again.' Just then, the tele-
phone rang. It was my aunt Lucy. 'I've
just arrived by train,' she said. 'I'm
coming to see you.'
'But I'm'Still having breakfast,' I said.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
' I'm having breakfast,' I repeated.
'Dear me,' she said. 'Do you always
get up so. late ? It's one o'clock!'
/ never get up early

3 Please Send Me a Card
Postcards always spoil my holidays. Last
summer, 'I' went to Italy. I visited museums
and sat in public gardens. A frendly waiter
taught me a few words of Italian. Then he
lent me a book. I read a few lines, but I
did not understand,a word. Every day I
thought about postcards. My holidays
passed quickly, but I did not send any
cards to my friends. On the last. day I
made a big decision. I got up early and
bought thirty-seven cards. "I spent. the
whole day in my room, but I did not write
a single card!
/ bought thirty-seven cards

4 An Exciting Trip
I have just received a letter from my
brother, Tim. He is in Australia. He has
been, there for six months. Tim is an
engineer. He is working for a big firm
and he has already visited a great number
of different places in Australia! He has
just bought an Australian car and has
gone to Alice Springs, a small town in the
centre of Australia. He will soon visit
Darwin. From there, he will fly to Perth.
My brother has never been abroad be-
fore, so he is finding this trip very excit-
ing.
an engineer in Australia

5 No Wrong Numbers
Mr James Scott has a garage in Silbury
and now he has just bought another
garage in Pinhurst. Pinhurst is only five
miles from Silbury, but Mr Scott cannot
get a telephone for his new garage, so he
has just bought twelve pigeons. Yester-
day, a pigeon carried the first message
from Pinhurst to Silbury. The bird
covered the distance in three minutes.
Up to now,Mr Scott has sent a great
many requests for spare parts and other
urgent messages from one garage to the
other. In.this way, he has begun his own
private 'telephone' service.
. . . private telephone service

6 Percy Buttons
l have just moved to a house in Bridge
Street. Yesterday beggar knocked at my
door. He asked me for a. meal and a glass of
beer. In return for this, the beggar stood
on his head and sang songs. I gave him a
meal. He ate the food and drank the beer.
Then hie put a piece of cheese in his pocket
and went away. Later a neighbour told me
about him. Everybody knows him. His
name is Percy Buttons. He calls at every
house in the street once a month and
always asks for a meal and a glass of beer.
. stood on his head and
sang songs
A

7 Too Late
The plane was late and detectives were
waiting at the airport all morning. They
were expecting a valuable parcel of dia-
monds from South Africa. A few hours
earlier, someone had told the police that
thieves would try to steal the diamonds.
When the plane arrived, some of the de-
tectives were waiting inside the main
building while others were waiting on the
airfield. Two men took the parcel off
the plane and carried it into the Customs
House. While two detectives were keep-
ing guard at the door, two others opened
the parcel. To their surprise, the precious
parcel was full of stones and sand!
Two men took the parcel

8 The Best and the Worst
Joe Sanders has the most beautiful garden
in our town. Nearly everybody enters for
'The Nicest Garden Competition' each
year, but Joe wins every time. Bill Frith's
garden is larger than Joe's. Bill works
harder than Joe and grows more flowers
and vegetables, but Joe's garden is more
interesting. He has made neat paths and
has built a wooden bridge over a pool. I
like gardens too, but I do not like hard
work. Every year I enter for,the garden
competition too, and I always win a little
prize for the worst garden in the town!
Joe wins every lime

9 A Cold Welcome
On Wednesday evening, we went to the
Town Hall. It was the last day of the year
and a large crowd of people had gathered
under the Town Hall clock. It would
strike twelve in twenty minutes' time.
Fifteen minutes passed and then, at five
to twelve, the clock stopped. The big
minute hand did not move. We waited
and waited, but nothing happened. Sud-
denly someone shouted, 'It's two minutes
past twelve! The clock has stopped!' I
looked at my watch. It was true. The big
clock refused to welcome the New Year.
At that moment, everybody began to
laugh and sing.

1o Not For Jazz
We have an old musical instrument. It is
called a clavichord. It was made in Ger-
many in 1681. Our clavichord is kept in
the living-room. It has belonged to our
family for a long time. The instrument
was bought by my grandfather many
years ago. Recently it was damaged by a
visitor. She tried to play jazz on it! She
struck the keys too hard and two of the
strings were broken. My father was
shocked. Now we are not allowed to touch
it. It is being repaired by a friend of my
father's. My father mas shocked

n One Good Turn Deserves Another
I was having dinner at a restaurant when
Harry Steele came in. Harry worked in a
lawyer's office years ago, but he is now
working at a bank. He gets a good salary,
but he always borrows money from his
friends and never pays it back. Harry saw
me and came and sat at the same table.
He has never borrowed money from me.
While he was eating, I asked him to lend
me £2. To my surprise, he gave me the
money immediately. I have never bor-
rowed any money from you,' Harry said,
'so now you can pay for my dinner!' 'you can pay for my dinner!'

12 Goodbye and Good Luck
Our neighbour, Captain Charles Alison,
will sail from Portsmouth tomorrow. We
shall meet him at the harbour early in the
morning. He will be in his small boat,
Topsail. Topsail is a famous little boat. It
has sailed across the Atlantic many times.
Captain Alison will set out at eight o'clock,
so we shall have plenty of time. We shall
see his boat and then we shall say good-
bye to him. He will be away for two
months. We are very proud of him. He will
take part in an important race across the
Atlantic.
We shall say goodbye to him

13 The Greenwood Boys
The Greenwood Boys are a group of
popular singers. At present, they are visit-
ing all parts of the country. They will be
arriving here tomorrow. They will be
coming by train and most of the young
people in the town will be meeting them
at the station. Tomorrow evening they
will be singing at the Workers' Club. The
Greenwood Boys will be staying for five
days. During this time, they will give five
performances. As usual, the police will
have a difficult time. They will be trying
to keep order. It is always the same on
these occasions.
a group of popular singers

14 Do You Speak English ?
I had an amusing experience last year.
After I had left a small village in the south
of France, I drove on to the next town.
On the way, a young man waved to me. I
stopped and he asked me for a lift. As
soon as he had got into the car, I said
good morning to him in French and he
replied in the same language. Apart from
a few words, I do not know any French
at all. Neither of us spoke during the
journey. I had nearly reached the town,
when the young man suddenly said, very
slowly, 'Do you speak English?' As I
soon learnt, he was English himself!
'Do you speak English?'

15 Good News
The secretary told me that Mr Harms-
worth would see me. I felt very nervous
when I went into his office. He did not
look up from his desk when I entered.
After I had sat down, he said that busi-
ness was very bad. He told me that the
firm could not afford to pay such large
salaries. Twenty people had already left.
I knew that my turn had come.
'Mr Harmsworth,' I said in a weak
voice.
'Don't interrupt,' he said.
Then he smiled and told me I would
receive an extra £100 a year!

16 A Polite Request
If you park your car in the wrong place, a
traffic policeman will soon find it. You
will be very lucky if he lets you go with-
out a ticket. However, this does not al-
ways happen. Traffic police are sometimes
very polite. During a holiday in Sweden,
I found this note on my car: 'Sir, we wel-
come you to our city. This is a "No
Parking" area. You will enjoy your stay
here if you pay attention to our street
signs. This note is only a reminder.' If
you receive a request like this, you can-
not fail to obey it! If you receive a request
like this . . .

17 Always Young
My aunt Jennifer is an actress. She must
be at least thirty-five years old. In spite
of this, she often appears on the stage as
a young girl. Jennifer will have to take
part in a new play soon. This time, she
will be a girl of seventeen. In the play, she
must appear in a bright red dress and
long black stockings. Last year in another
play, she had to wear short socks and a
bright, orange-coloured dress. If anyone
ever asks her how old she is, she always
answers, 'My dear, it must be terrible to
be grown up!'
often appears as a
young girl

18 He Often Does This!
After I had had lunch at a village inn, I
looked for my bag. I had left it on a chair
beside the door and now it wasn't there!
As I was looking for it, the inn-keeper
came in.
'Did you have a good meal ?' he asked.
'Yes, thank you,' I answered, 'but I
can't pay the bill. I haven't got my bag.'
The inn-keeper smiled and imme-
diately went out. In a few minutes he
returned with my bag and gave it back to
me.
'I'm very sorry,' he said. 'My dog had
taken it into the garden. Me often docs
this.'
'He often does this.'

19 Sold Out
'The play may begin at any moment,' I said.
'It may have begun already,' Susan
answered.
I hurried to the ticket-office. 'May I have
two tickets please ?' I asked.
'I'm sorry, we've sold out,' the girl said.
'What a pity!' Susan exclaimed.
Just then, a man hurried to the ticket-office.
'Can I return these two tickets?' he asked.
'Certainly,' the girl said.
I went back to the ticket-office at once.
'Could I have those two tickets please?' I asked.
'Certainly,' the girl said, 'but they are for next Wednesday's performance.
Do you still want them?'
' I might as well have them,' I said sadly.
&ccKislr
a man hurried to the
ticket-office

20 One Man in a Boat
Fishing is my favourite sport. I often fish
for hours without catching anything. But
this does not worry me. Some fishermen
are unlucky. Instead of catching fish, they
catch old boots and rubbish. I am even
less lucky. I never catch anything—not
even old boots. After having spent whole
mornings on the river, I always go home
with an empty bag. 'You must give up
fishing!' my friends say. ' It's a waste of
time.' But they don't realize one impor-
tant thing. I'm not really interested in
fishing. I am only interested in sitting in
a boat and doing nothing at all!
/ never catch anything

21 Mad or Not?
Aeroplanes are slowly driving me mad. I
live near an airport and passing planes
can be heard night and day. The airport
was built during the war, but for some
reason it could not be used then. Last
year, however, it came into use. Over a
hundred people must have been driven
away from their homes by the noise. I am
one of the few people left. Sometimes I
think this house will be knocked down by
a passing plane. I have been-offered a
large sum of money to go away, but I am
determined to stay here. Everybody says
I must be mad and they are probably
right.
Everybody says I must be mad

22 A Glass Envelope
My daughter, Jane, never dreamed of
receiving a letter from a girl of her own
age in Holland. Last year, we were travel-
ling across the Channel and Jane put a
piece of paper with her name and address
on it into a bottle. She threw the bottle
into the sea. She never thought of it again,
but ten months later, she received a letter
from a girl in Holland. Both girls write to
each other regularly now. However, they
have decided to use the post-office. Letters
will cost a little more, but they will cer-
tainly travel faster. ten months later, she
received a letter

23 A New House
I had a letter from my sister yesterday.
She lives in Nigeria. In her letter, she
said that she would come to England next
year. If she comes, she will get a surprise.
We are now living in a beautiful new house
in the country. Work on it had begun be-
fore my sister left. The house was com-
pleted five months ago. In my letter, I
told her that she could stay with us. The
house has many large rooms and there is
a lovely garden. It is a very modern house,
so it looks strange to some people. It
must be the only modern house in the
district.
the only modern house in
the district
rn m

24 It Could be Worse
I entered the hotel manager's office and
sat down. I had just lost £50 and I felt
very upset.' I left the money in my room,'
I said, 'and it's not there now.' The
manager was sympathetic, but he could
do nothing. 'Everyone's losing money
these days,' he said. He started to com-
plain about this wicked world but was
interrupted by a knock at the door. A girl
came in and put an envelope on his desk.
It contained £50. 'I found this outside
this gentleman's room,' she said. 'Well,'
I said to the manager, ' there is still some
honesty in this world!'
The manager was sympathetic

25 Do the English Speak English ?
I arrived in London at last. The railway
station was big, black and dark. I did not know
the way to my hotel, so I asked a porter. I not
only spoke English very carefully, but very
clearly as well. The porter, however, could
not understand me. I repeated my question
several times and at last he understood. He
answered me, but he spoke neither slowly
nor clearly. ' I a m a foreigner,' I said. Then
he spoke slowly, but I could not understand
him. My teacher never spoke English like
that! The porter and I looked at each other
and smiled. Then he said something and I
understood it. 'You'll soon learn English!' he
said. I wonder. In England, each man speaks a
different language. The English understand each other, but / don't understand
them! Do they speak English ?
Then he spoke slowly

26 The Best Art Critics
I am an art student and I paint a lot of
pictures. Many people pretend that they
understand modern art. They always tell you
what a picture is 'about'. Of course, many
pictures are not 'about' anything. They are
just pretty patterns. We like them in the same
way that we like pretty curtain material. I think
that young children often appreciate modern
pictures better than anyone else. They
notice more. My sister is only seven, but she
always tells me whether my pictures are good
or not. She came into my room yesterday.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
' I'm hanging this picture on the wall,' I
answered. 'It's a new one. Do you like it ?'
She looked at it critically for a moment. ' It's all right,' she said, ' but isn't it
upside-down ?'
I looked at it again. She was right! It was!
She looked at it critically

27 A Wet Night
Late in the afternoon, the boys put up their
tent in the middle of a field. As soon as this was
done, they cooked a meal over an open fire.
They were all hungry and the food smelt
good. After a wonderful meal, they told stories
and sang songs by the camp fire. But some
time later it began to rain. The boys felt tired
so they put out the fire and crept into their
tent. Their sleeping-bags were warm and com-
fortable, so they all slept soundly. In the
middle of the night, two boys woke up and
began shouting. The tent was full of water!
They all leapt out of their sleeping-bags and
hurried outside. It was raining heavily and they
found that a stream
had formed in the field. The stream wound its way across the field and
flowed right under their tent! then
a stream had formed in
the field

28 No Parking!
Jasper White is one of those rare people who
believes in ancient myths. He has just
bought a new house in the city, but ever
since he moved in, he has had trouble with
motorists. When he returns home at night, he
always finds that someone has parked a car
outside his gate. Because of this, he has not
been able to get his own car into his garage
even once. Jasper has put up 'No Parking' signs
outside his gate, but these have not had any
effect. Now he has put an ugly stone head over
the gate. It is one of the ugliest faces I have ever seen. I
asked him what it was and he told me that it was
Medusa, the Gorgon. Jasper hopes that she will turn
motorists to stone. But none of them has been turned to stone yet!
hopes she will
turn motorists to
stone

29 Taxi!
Captain Ben Fawcett has bought an unusual taxi
and has begun a new service. The 'taxi' is a
small Swiss aeroplane called a 'Pilatus Porter'.
This wonderful plane can carry seven passengers.
The most surprising thing about it, however, is
that it can land anywhere: on snow, water, or
even on a ploughed field. Captain Fawcett's first
passenger was a doctor who flew' from
Birmingham to a lonely village in the Welsh
mountains. Since then, Captain Fawcett has flown
passengers to many unusual places. Once he
landed on the roof of a block of flats and on
another occasion, he landed in a deserted car park.
Captain Fawcett has just
refused a strange request from a businessman. The man wanted to fly to Rockall
a lonely island in the Atlantic Ocean, but Captain Fawcett did not take hirr
because the trip was too dangerous.
landed in a deserted car-park

30 Football or Polo ?
The Wayle is a small river that cuts across
the park near my home. I like sitting by the
Wayle on fine afternoons. It was warm last
Sunday, so I went and sat on the river bank as
usual. Some children were playing games on
the bank and there were some people rowing
on the river. Suddenly, one of the children
kicked a ball very hard and it went towards a
passing boat. Some people on the bank called
out to the man in the boat, but he did not
hear them. The ball struck him so hard that he
nearly fell into the water. I turned to look at
the children, but there weren't any in sight:
they had all run away! The man laughed when he
realized what had happened. He called out to the children and threw the bai
back to the bank.
nearly fell into the water

31 Success Story
Yesterday afternoon Frank Hawkins was
telling me about his experiences as a young
man. Frank is now the head of a very large
business company, but as a boy he used to
work in a small shop. It was his job to repair
bicycles and at that time he used to work
fourteen hours a day. He saved money for
years and in 1938 he bought a small work-
shop of his own. During the war Frank used to
make spare parts for aeroplanes. At that time
he had two helpers. By the end of the war,
the small work-shop had become a large
factory which employed seven hundred and
twenty-eight people. Frank smiled when he
remembered his hard
early years and the long road to success. He was still smiling when the door
opened and his wife came in. She wanted him to repair their son's bicycle!
experiences as a young man

32 Shopping Made Easy
People are not so honest as they once were.
The temptation to steal is greater than ever
before—especially in large shops. A detective
recently watched a well-dressed woman who
always went into a large store on Monday
mornings. One Monday, there were fewer
people in the shop than usual when the
woman came in, so it was easier for the
detective to watch her. The woman first bought
a few small articles. After a little time, she chose
one of the most expensive dresses in the shop
and handed it to an assistant who wrapped it up
for her as quickly as possible. Then the woman
simply took the parcel and walked out of the
shop
without paying. When she was arrested, the detective found out that the shop-
assistant was her daughter. The girl' gave' her mother a free dress once a week!
A detective watched a
well-dressed woman

33 Out of the Darkness
Nearly a week passed before the girl was
able to explain what had happened to her.
One afternoon she set out from the coast
in a small boat and was caught in a storm.
Towards evening, the boat struck a rock
and the girl jumped into the sea. Then
she swam to the shore after spending the
whole night in the water. During that
time she covered a distance of eight miles.
Early next morning, she saw a light ahead.
She knew she was near the shore because
the light was high up on the cliffs. On
arriving at the shore, the girl struggled up
the cliff towards the light she had seen.
That was all she remembered. When she
woke up a day later, she found herself in
hospital.
caught in a storm

34 Quick Work
Ted Robinson has been worried all the week.
Last Tuesday he received a letter from the
local police. In the letter he was asked to call at
the station. Ted wondered why he was wanted
by the police, but he went to the station
yesterday and now he is not worried any
more. At the station, he was told by a smiling
policeman that his bicycle had been found.
Five days ago, the policeman told him, the
bicycle was picked up in a small village four
hundred miles away. It is now being sent to
his home by train. Ted was most surprised
when he heard the news. He was amused too,
because he never expected the bicycle to be
found. It was stolen twenty years ago when
Ted was a boy of fifteen!
a letter from the local police

35 Stop Thief!
Roy Trenton used to drive a taxi. A short while
ago, however, he became a bus-driver and he
has not regretted it. He is finding his new work
far more exciting. When he was driving along
Catford Street recently, he saw two thieves rush
out of a shop and run towards a waiting car.
One of them was carrying a bag full of money.
Roy acted quickly and drove the bus straight
at the thieves. The one with the money got such
a fright that he dropped the bag. As the thieves
were trying to get away in their car, Roy drove
his bus into the back of it. While the battered car
was moving away, Roy stopped his bus and
telephoned the police. The thieves' car
was badly damaged and easy to recognize. Shortly
afterwards, the police stopped the car and both men were arrested.
He is finding his new
work exciting

36 Across the Channel
Erna Hart is going to swim across the English
Channel tomorrow. She is going to set out
from the French coast at five o'clock in the
morning. Erna is only fourteen years old and
she hopes to set up a new world record. She is
a strong swimmer and many people feel that
she is sure to succeed. Erna's father will set out
with her in a small boat. Mr Hart has trained
his daughter for years. Tomorrow he will be
watching her anxiously as she swims the long
distance to England. Erna intends to take
short rests every two hours. She will have
something to drink but she will not eat any
solid food. Most of Erna's school friends will
be waiting for her on
the English coast. Among them will be Erna's mother, who swam the Channel
herself when she was a girl.
short rests every Wo hours

37 The Olympic Games
The Olympic Games will be held in our country
in four years' time. As a great many people will
be visiting the country, the government will be
building new hotels, an immense stadium, and
a fine new swimming pool. They will also be
building new roads and a special railway-line.
The Games will be held just outside the capital
and the whole area will be called 'Olympic
City'. Workers will have completed the new
roads by the end of this year. By the end of
next year, they will have finished work on the
new stadium. The fine modern buildings have been
designed by Kurt Guntcr. Everybody will be
watching anxiously as the
new buildings go up. We are all very excited and are looking forward to the
Olympic Games because they have never been held before in this country.
looking forward to the
Olympic Games

38 Everything Except the Weather
My old friend, Harrison, had lived in the
Mediterranean for many years before he
returned to England. He had often
dreamed of retiring in England and had
planned to settle down in the country. He
had no sooner returned than he bought a
fine house and went to live there. Almost
immediately he began to complain about
the weather, for even though it was still
summer, it rained continually and it was
often bitterly cold. After so many years of
sunshine, Harrison got a shock. He acted
as if he had never l?ved in England before.
In the end, it was more than he could
bear. He had hardly had time to settle
down when he sold the house and left
the country. The dream he had had for so many years ended there. Harrison had
thought of everything except the weather.

He dreamed of retiring
in England

39 Am I All Right ?
While John Gilbert was in hospital, he asked
his doctor to tell him whether his operation
had been successful, but the doctor refused to
do so. The following day, the patient asked for
a bedside telephone. When he was alone, he
telephoned the hospital exchange and asked
for Doctor Millington. When the doctor
answered the phone, Mr Gilbert said he was
inquiring about a certain patient, a Mr John
Gilbert. He asked if Mr Gilbert's operation
had been successful and the doctor told him
that it had been. He then asked when Mr
Gilbert would be allowed to go home and the
doctor told him that he would have to stay in
hospital for another two weeks. Then Dr
Millington asked the caller if he was a relative of the patient. 'No,' the patient
answered, 'I am Mr John Gilbert.'
asked for a bedside telephone

40 Food and Talk
Last/week at a dinner-party, the hostess askep
me to sit next to Mrs Rumbold. Mrs
Rumbold was a large, unsmiling lady in a tight
black dress. She did not even look up when I
took my seat beside her. Her eyes were fixed
on her plate and in a short time, she was busy
eating. I tried to make conversation.
'A new play is coming to "The Globe"
soon,' I said. 'Will you be seeing i t ? '
'No,' she answered.
'Will you be spending your holidays
abroad this year?' I asked.
'No,' she answered.
'Will you be staying in England?' I
asked.
'No,' she answered.
In despair, I asked her whether she was enjoying her dinner.
'Young man,' she answered, ' i f you ate more and talked less, we would both
enjoy our dinner!'
a large, unsmiling lady

41 Do You Call That a Hat?
'Do you call that a hat?' I said to my wife.
'You needn't be so rude about it,' my wife
answered as she looked at herself in the mirror.
I sat down on one of those modern chairs
with holes in it and waited. We had been in the
hat shop for half an hour and my wife was still
in front of the mirror.
'We mustn't buy things we don't need,' I
remarked suddenly. I regretted saying it
almost at once.
'You needn't have said that,' my wife
answered. 'I need not remind you of that
terrible tie you bought yesterday.'
'I find it beautiful,' I said. 'A man can never
have too many ties.'
'And a woman can't have too many hats,' she answered.
Ten minutes later we walked out of the shop together. My wife was wearing
a hat that looked like a lighthouse!
a hat like a lighthouse

42 Not Very Musical
As we had had a long walk through one of
the markets of Old Delhi, we stopped at a
square to have a rest. After a time, we
noticed a snake-charmer with two large
baskets at the other side of the square, so we
went to have a look at him. As soon/as he saw
us, he picked up a long pipe which was covered
with coins and opened one of the baskets.
When he began to play a tune, we had our
first glimpse of the snake. It rose out of the
basket and began to follow the movements of
the pipe. We were very much surprised when
the snake charmer suddenly began to play jazz
tunes and popular modern songs. The snake,
however,
continued to 'dance' slowly. It obviously could not tell the difference between
Indian music and jazz!
began to play jazz tunes

43 Over the South Pole
In 1929, three years after his flight over the
North Pole, the American explorer, R. E.
Byrd, successfully flew over the South Pole
for the first time. Though, at first, Byrd and
his men were able to take a great many
photographs of the mountains that lay below,
they soon ran into serious trouble. At one
point, it seemed certain that their plane would
crash. It could only get over the mountains if
it rose to 10,000 feet. Byrd at once ordered his
men to throw out two heavy food sacks. The
plane was then able to rise and it cleared the
mountains by 400 feet. Byrd now knew that
he would be able to reach the South Pole which
was 300 miles away, for there were no more
mountains in sight. The aircraft was able to fly over the endless white plains
without difficulty.
flew over the South Pole

44 Through the Forest
Mrs Anne Sterling did not think of the
risk she was taking when she ran through
a forest after two men. They had rushed
up to her while she was having a picnic
at the edge of a forest with her children
and tried to steal her handbag. In the
struggle, the strap broke and, with the
bag in their possession, both men started
running through the trees. Mrs Sterling
got so angry that she ran after them. She
was soon out of breath, but she continued
to run. When she caught up with them,
she saw that they had sat down and were
going through the contents of the bag, so
she ran straight at them. The men got
such a fright that they dropped the bag
and ran away. 'The strap needs mending,' said Mrs Sterling later, 'but they
did not steal anything.'
The men got a fright

45 A Clear Conscience
The whole village soon learnt that a large sum
of money had been lost. Sam Benton, the local
butcher, had lost his wallet while taking his
savings to the post-office. Sam was sure that the
wallet must have been found by one of the
villagers, but it was not returned to him.
Three months passed, and then one morning,
Sam found his wallet outside his front door. It
had been wrapped up in newspaper and it
contained half the money he had lost, together
with a note which said: 'A thief, yes, but only
50 per cent a thief!' Two months later, some
more money was sent to Sam with another note:
'Only 25 per cent a thief now!' In time, all Sam's
money was paid back in this way. The last note said: 'I am 100 per cent honest
now!'
the local butcher lost
his wallet

46 Expensive and Uncomfortable
When a plane from London arrived at Sydney
airport, workers began to unload a number of
wooden boxes which contained clothing. No
one could account for the fact that one of the
boxes was extremely heavy. It suddenly
occurred to one of the workers to open up
the box. He was astonished at what he found.
A man was lying in the box on top of a pile of
woollen goods. He was so surprised at being
discovered that he did not even try to run
away. After he was arrested, the man
admitted hiding in the box before the plane
left London. He had had a long and
uncomfortable trip, for he had been confined
to the wooden box for over ten
hours. The man was ordered to pay 345 for the cost of the trip. The normal
price of a ticket is £230!
he did not try to run away

47 A Thirsty Ghost
A public house which was recently bought by Mr
Ian Thompson is up for sale. Mr Thompson is
going to sell it because it is haunted. He told me
that he could not go to sleep one night because
he heard a strange noise coming from the bar.
The next morning, he found that the doors had
been blocked by chairs and the furniture had
been moved. Though Mr Thompson had
turned the lights off before he went to bed, they
were on in the morning. He also said that he had
found five empty whisky bottles which the
ghost must have drunk the night before. When I
suggested that some villagers must have come
in for a free drink, Mr
Thompson shook his head. The villagers have told him that they will m
accept the inn even if he gives it away.
five empty bottles which the
ghost must have drunk

48 Did You Want to Tell Me Something ?
Dentists always ask questions when it is
impossible for you to answer. My dentist
had just pulled out one of my teeth and
had told me to rest for a while. I tried to
say something, but my mouth was full
of cotton-wool. He knew I collected
birds' eggs and asked me whether my
collection was growing. He then asked
me how my brother was and whether I
liked my new job in London. In answer
to these questions 1 either nodded or
made strange noises. Meanwhile, my
tongue was busy searching out the hole
where the tooth had been. I suddenly felt
very worried, but could not say anything.
When the dentist at last removed the
cotton-wool from my mouth, I was able to tell him that he had pulled out the
wrong tooth.
/ suddenly felt very worried

49 The End of a Dream
Tired of sleeping on the floor, a young man
in Teheran saved up for years to buy a real
bed. For the first time in his life, he became
the proud owner of a bed which-had springs
and a mattress. Because the weather was
very hot, he carried the bed on to the roof
of his house. He slept very well for the first
two nights, but on the third night, a storm
blew up. A gust of wind swept the bed off
the roof and sent it crashing into the courtyard
below. The young man did not wake up until
the bed had struck the ground. Although the
bed was smashed to pieces, the man was
miraculously unhurt. When he woke up, he
was still on
the mattress. Glancing at the bits of wood and metal that lay around him, the
man sadly picked up the mattress and carried it into his house. After he had put
it on the floor, he promptly went to sleep again.
miraculously unhurt

50 Taken for a Ride
I love travelling in the country, but I don't
like losing my way. I went on an excursion
recently, but my trip took me longer than I
expected.
' I'm going to Woodford Green,' I said to
the conductor as I got on the bus, 'but I don't
know where it is.'
' I'll tell you where to get off,' answered the
conductor.
I sat in the front of the bus to get a good view
of the countryside. After some time, the bus
stopped. Looking round, I realized with a shock
that I was the only passenger left on the bus.
' You'll have to get off here,' the con-ductor said.
'This is as far as we go.'
'Is this Woodford Green?' I asked.
'Oh dear,' said the conductor suddenly. ' I forgot to put you off.'
'It doesn't matter,' I said. 'I'll get off here.'
'We are going back now,' said the conductor.
'Well, in that case, I prefer to stay on the bus,' I answered.
' This is as far as we go'

51 Reward for Virtue
My friend, Herbert, has always been fat, but
things got so bad recently that he decided to go
on a diet. He began his diet a week ago. First of
all, he wrote out a long list of all the foods which
were forbidden. The list included most of the
things Herbert loves: butter, potatoes, rice, beer,
milk, chocolate, and sweets. Yesterday I paid him
a visit. I rang the bell and was not surprised to
see that Herbert was still as fat as ever. He led me
into his room and hurriedly hid a large parcel
under his desk. It was obvious that he was very
embarrassed. When I asked him what he was doing,
he smiled guiltily and then put the parcel on the
desk. He
explained that his diet was so strict that he had to reward himself occasionally.
Then he showed me the contents of the parcel. It contained five large bars of
chocolate and three bags of sweets!
The list included the things
Herbert loves

52 A Pretty Carpet
We have just moved into a new house and
I have been working hard all morning. I
have been trying to get my new room in
order. This has not been easy because I
own over a thousand books. To make
matters worse, the room is rather small,
so I have temporarily put my books on
the floor. At the moment, they cover every
inch of floor space and I actually have
to walk on them to get in or out of the
room. A short while ago, my sister helped
me to carry one of my old bookcases up
the stairs. She went into my room and
got a big surprise when she saw all those
books on the floor. 'This is the prettiest
carpet I have ever seen,' she said. She
gazed at it for some time then added, 'You don't need bookcases at all. You can
sit here in your spare time and read the carpet!'
You can sit here and read
the carpet

53 Hot Snake
At last firemen have put out a big forest fire in
California. Since then, they have been trying to
find out how the fire began. Forest fires are
often caused by broken glass or by cigarette
ends which people carelessly throw away.
Yesterday the firemen examined the ground
carefully, but were not able to find any broken
glass. They were also quite sure that a cigarette
end did not start the fire. This morning,
however, a fireman accidentally discovered
the cause. He noticed the remains of a snake
which was wound round the electric wires of a
16,000-volt power line. In this way, he was able to
solve the mystery. The explanation was simple but
very unusual. A bird had snatched up the snake from the ground and then
dropped it on to the wires. The snake then wound itself round the wires. When
it did so, it sent sparks down to the ground and these immediately started a fire.
The explanation was
very unusual. . .

54 Sticky Fingers
After breakfast, I sent the children to school
and then I went to market. It was still early
when I returned home. The children were at
school, my husband was at work and the
house was quiet. So I decided to make some
tarts for tea. In a short time I was busy mixing
butter and flour and my hands were soon
covered with sticky pastry. At exactly that
moment, the telephone rang. Nothing could
have been more annoying. I picked up the
receiver between two sticky fingers and was
dismayed when I recognized the voice of
Mrs Bates. It took me ten minutes to persuade
her to ring back later. At last I hung up the
receiver. What a mess!
There was pastry on my fingers, on the telephone, and on the door-knobs. I had
no sooner got back to the kitchen than the door-bell rang loud enough to wake
the dead. This time it was the postman and he wanted me to sign for a registered
letter!

55 Not a Gold Mine
Dreams of finding lost treasure almost
came true recently. A new machine called
'The Revealer' has been invented and it
has been used to detect gold which has
been buried in the ground. The machine
was used in a cave near the sea-shore
where—it is said—pirates used to hide
gold. The pirates would often bury gold
in the cave and then fail to collect it.
Armed with the new machine, a search
party went into the cave hoping to find
buried treasure. The leader of the party
was examining the soil near the entrance
to the cave when the machine showed
that there was gold under the ground.
Very excited, the party dug a hole two
feet deep. They finally found a small gold coin which was almost worthless. The
party then searched the whole cave thoroughly but did not find anything except
an empty tin trunk. In spite of this, many people are confident that 'The
Revealer' may reveal something of value fairly soon.

56 Faster than Sound!
Once a year a race is held for old cars. A lot of
cars entered for this race last year and there
was a great deal of excitement just before it
began. One of the most handsome cars was a
Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost. The most unusual
car was a Benz which had only three wheels.
Built in 1885, it was the oldest car taking part.
After a great many loud explosions, the race
began. Many of the cars broke down on the
course and some drivers spent more time
under their cars than in them! A few cars,
however, completed the race. The winning car
reached a speed of forty miles an hour—much
faster than any of its rivals. It sped downhill at
the end of
the race and its driver had a lot of trouble trying to stop it. The race gave every-
one a great deal of pleasure. It was very different from modern car races but no
less exciting.
ıt was different from modern
Carraces

57 Can I Help You Madam ?
A woman in blue jeans stood at the win-
dow of an expensive shop. Though she hesitated
for a moment, she finally went in and asked to
see a dress that was in the window. The
assistant who served her did not like the way
she was dressed. Glancing at her scornfully, he
told her that the dress was sold. The woman
walked out of the shop angrily and decided to
punish the assistant next day. She returned to
the shop the following morning dressed in a fur
coat, with a handbag in one hand and a long
umbrella in the other. After seeking out the rude
assistant she asked for the same dress. Not
realizing who she was, the assistant
was eager to serve her this time. With great difficulty, he climbed into the shop
window to get the dress. As soon as she saw it, the woman said she did not like it.
She enjoyed herself making the assistant bring almost everything in the window
before finally buying the dress she had first asked for.
The assistant did not like the
way she was dressed

58 A Blessing in Disguise ?
The tiny village of Frinley is said to possess
a 'cursed tree'. Because the tree was
mentioned in a newspaper, the number of
visitors to Frinley has now increased. The
tree was planted near a church fifty years
ago, but it is only in recent years that it has
gained an evil reputation. It is said that if
anyone touches the tree, he will have bad luck;
if he picks a leaf, he will die. Many villagers
believe that the tree has already claimed a
number of victims. The vicar has been asked
to have the tree cut down, but so far he has
refused. He has pointed out that the tree is a
useful source of income as tourists have been
coming from all parts of
the country to see it. In spite of all that has been said, the tourists have been
picking leaves and cutting their names on the tree-trunk. So far, not one of them
has been struck down by sudden death!
not one has been struck down

59 In or Out ?
Our dog, Rex, used to sit outside our front
gate and bark. Every time he wanted to come
into the garden he would bark until someone
opened the gate. As the neighbours complained
of the noise, my husband spent weeks
training him to press his paw on the latch to
let himself in. Rex soon became an expert at
opening the gate. However, when I was going
out shopping last week, I noticed him in the
garden near the gate. This time he was barking
so that someone would let him out! Since
then, he has developed another bad habit. As
soon as he opens the gate from the outside, he
comes into the garden and waits until the gate
shuts. Then
he sits and barks until someone lets him out. After this he immediately lets himself
in and begins barking again. Yesterday my husband removed the gate and Rex
got so annoyed we have not seen him since.
My husband spent weeks
training him

6o The Future
At a village fair, I decided to visit a fortune-
teller called Madam Bellinsky. I went into her
tent and she told me to sit down. After I had
given her some money, she looked into a
crystal ball and said: 'A relation of yours is
coming to see you. She will be arriving this
evening and intends to stay for a few days. The
moment you leave this tent, you will get a big
surprise. A woman you know well will rush
towards you. She will speak to you and then
she will lead you away from this place. That is
all.'
As soon as I went outside, I forgot all about
Madam Bellinsky because my wife hurried
towards me. 'Where have you
been hiding?' she asked impatiently. 'Your sister will be here in less than an
hour and we must be at the station to meet her. We are late already.' As she
walked away, I followed her out of the fair.
A woman will rush towards you

61 Dangerous Descent
In future, astronauts will be required to
descend from a spaceship while it is still in
space and to return to it. The ability to do
this will be necessary in future flights to
distant planets. Scientists are now trying to
discover if this is possible. The spaceship
Astra which left the earth a short time ago,
will be travelling three hundred miles into
space. At a certain point, the Astra will stop
for a short time and an astronaut will attempt to
leave the stationary spaceship and then return
to it. We shall not know whether the experi-
ment has been successful until we have
received a radio message. The first message
is expected to arrive at 7
o'clock this evening. By that time, the Astra will have been flying through space
for seventeen hours and will have circled the earth a great many times. When
the first radio messages have been received, the results of the trip will be
announced immediately.
discover if this is possible

62 After the Fire
Firemen had been fighting the forest lire for
nearly three weeks before they could get it
under control. A short time before, great trees
had covered the countryside for miles
around. Now, smoke still rose up from the
warm ground over the desolate hills. Winter
was coming on and the hills threatened the
surrounding villages with destruction, for
heavy rain would not only wash away the soil
but would cause serious floods as well.
When the fire had at last been put out, the
forest authorities ordered several tons of a
special type of grass-seed which would grow
quickly. The seed was sprayed over the ground
in huge quantities by aeroplanes.
The planes had been planting seed for nearly a month when it began to rain. By
then, however, in many places the grass had already taken root. In place of the
great trees which had been growing there for centuries, patches of green had
begun to appear in the blackened soil.
The seed was sprayed
by aeroplanes

63 She was not Amused
Geoffrey Hampden has a large circle of friends
and is very popular at parties. Everybody
admires him for his fine sense of humour—
everybody, that is, except his six-year-old
daughter, Jenny. Recently, one of Geoffrey's
closest friends asked him to make a speech at a
wedding reception. This is the sort of thing that
Geoffrey loves. He prepared the speech
carefully and went to the wedding with Jenny.
He had included a large number of funny
stories in the speech and, of course, it was a
great success. As soon as he had finished, Jenny
told him she wanted to go home. Geoffrey was
a little disappointed by this but he did as his
daughter asked. On the way home, he asked
Jenny if she had enjoyed the speech. To his surprise, she said she hadn't.
Geoffrey asked her why this was so and she told him that she did not like to
see so many people laughing at him!
his fine sense of humour

64 The Channel Tunnel
In 1858, a French engineer, Aime Thome de
Gamond, arrived in England with a plan for a
twenty-one mile tunnel across the English
Channel, He said that it would be possible to
build a platform in the centre of the Channel.
This platform would serve as a port and a
railway station. The tunnel would be well-
ventilated if tall chimneys were built above sea-
level. In 1860, a better plan was put forward by
an Englishman, William Low. He suggested
that a double railway tunnel should be built.
This would solve the problem of ventilation,
for if a train entered this tunnel, it would
draw in fresh air behind it. Forty-two years
later a tunnel was
actually begun. If, at the time, the British had not feared invasion, it would have
been completed. Recently, there has again been great interest in the idea of a
Channel Tunnel. If it is built, it will connect Britain to Europe for the first time
in history.
. . . connect Britain to Europe

65 Jumbo versus the Police
Last Christmas, the circus owner, Jimmy
Gates, decided to take some presents to a
children's hospital. Dressed up as Father
Christmas and accompanied by a 'guard
of honour' of six pretty girls, he set off
down the main street of the city riding a
baby elephant called Jumbo. He should
have known that the police would never
allow this sort of thing. A policeman
approached Jimmy and told him he ought
to have gone along a side-street as Jumbo
was holding up the traffic. Though Jimmy
agreed to go at once, Jumbo refused to
move. Fifteen policemen had to push
very hard to get him off the main street.
The police had a difficult time, but they
were most amused. 'Jumbo must weigh a few tons,' said a policeman afterwards,
'so it was fortunate that we didn't have to carry him. Of course, we should arrest
him, but as he has a good record, we shall let him off this time.'
The police had a difficult time

66 Cycling through the Air
The Hatfield Puffin is a modern aeroplane,
but its designer, Mr John Wim-penny, is
finding it difficult to get it off the ground.
The reason for this is that this plane is also a
bicycle. Its pilot has to pedal hard to get it
into the air. After Mr Wimpenny had the plane
built, it was tested thoroughly. In 1961, it
was the first man-powered aircraft to fly half
a mile. While being flown by a champion
amateur cyclist in 1963, the plane crashed on an
airfield. Since then, Mr Wimpenny has had it
rebuilt. He has had the length of the wings increased so
that they now measure 93 feet—almost as long as those
of a Dakota. Many people have shown
interest in this new and unusual sport. But though air cyclists may learn how to
fly over short distances, and may, eventually, even get across the English
Channel, it is doubtful whether they will ever cycle across the Atlantic.
difficult to gel it off
the ground

67 Volcanoes
Haroun Tazieff, the Polish scientist, has spent
his life-time studying active volcanoes and
deep caves in all parts of the world. In 1948,
he went to lake Kivu in the Congo to
observe a new volcano which he later named
Kituro. Tazieff was able to set up his camp
very close to the volcano while it was erupting
violently. Though he managed to take a
number of brilliant photographs, he could not
stay near the volcano for very long. He
noticed that a river of liquid rock was coming
towards him. It threatened to surround him
completely, but Tazieff managed to escape
just in time. He waited until the volcano
became quiet and he was
able to return two days later. This time, he managed to climb into the mouth of
Kituro so that he could take photographs and measure temperatures. Tazieff has
often risked his life in this way. He has been able to tell us more about active
volcanoes than any man alive.
he could not stay for very long

68 Persistent
I crossed the street to avoid meeting him, but
he saw me and came running towards me. It
was no use pretending that I had not seen
him, so I waved to him. I never enjoy meeting
Bert Dykes. He never has anything to do. No
matter how busy you are, he always insists on
coming with you. I had to think of a way of
preventing him from following me around all
morning.
'Hullo, Bert,' I said. 'Fancy meeting you
here!'
'Hullo, Elizabeth,' Bert answered. 'I was
just wondering how to spend the morning—until
I saw you. You're not busy doing anything, are
you ?'
'No, not at all,' I answered. ' I'm going
t o . . .'
'Would you mind my coming with you?' he asked, before I had finished
speaking.
'Not at all,' I lied, 'but I'm going to the dentist.'
'Then I'll come with you,' he answered. 'There's always plenty to read in the
waiting room!'
There's always plenty to read

69 But Not Murder!
I was being tested for a driving licence
for the third time. I had been asked to
drive in heavy traffic and had done so
successfully. After having been instructed
to drive out of town, I began to acquire
confidence. Sure that I had passed, I was
almost beginning to enjoy my test. The
examiner must have been pleased with
my performance, for he smiled and said,
'Just one more thing, Mr Eames. Let us
suppose that a child suddenly crosses the
road in front of you. As soon as I tap on
the window, I want the car to be stopped
immediately.' I continued driving and
after some time, the examiner tapped
loudly. Though the sound could be heard
clearly, it took me a long time to react. I suddenly pressed the brake pedal hard
and we were both thrown forward. The examiner looked at me sadly. 'Mr
Eames,' he said, in a mournful voice, 'you have just killed that child!'
The examiner must have
been pleased

70 Red for Danger
During a bullfight, a drunk suddenly wandered
into the middle of the ring. The crowd began to
shout, but the drunk was unaware of the
danger. The bull was busy with the matador at
the time, but it suddenly caught sight of the
drunk who was shouting rude remarks and
waving a red cap. Apparently sensitive to
criticism, the bull forgot all about the matador
and charged at the drunk. The crowd sud-
denly grew quiet. The drunk, however,
seemed quite sure of himself. When the bull
got close to him, he clumsily stepped aside to
let it pass. The crowd broke into cheers and the
drunk bowed. By this time, however, three
men had come into the
ring and they quickly dragged the drunk to safety. Even the bull seemed to feel
sorry for him, for it looked on sympathetically until the drunk was out of the way
before once more turning its attention to the matador.
Apparently sensitive to criticism

71 A Famous Clock
When you visit London, one of the first things
you will see is Big Ben, the famous clock
which can be heard all over the world on the
B.B.C. If the Houses of Parliament had not
been burned down in 1834, the great clock
would never have been erected. Big Ben
takes its name from Sir Benjamin Hall who
was responsible for the making of the clock
when the new Houses of Parliament were
being built. It is not only of immense size, but
is extremely accurate as well. Officials from
Greenwich Observatory have the clock
checked twice a day. On the B.B.C. you can
hear the clock when it is actually striking
because microphones are connected to the
clock tower. Big Ben has rarely gone wrong. Once, however, it failed to give
the correct time. A painter who had been working on the tower hung a pot of
paint on one of the hands and slowed it down!
A painter slowed it down

72 A Car called 'Bluebird'
The great racing driver, Sir Malcolm
Campbell, was the first man to drive at
over 300 miles per hour. He set up a new
world record in September 1935 at Bonne-
ville Salt Flats, Utah. Bluebird, the car he
was driving, had been specially built for
him. It was over 30 feet in length and had
a 2500 horse-power engine. Although
Campbell reached a speed of over 304
miles per hour, he had great difficulty in
controlling the car because a tyre burst
during the first run. After his attempt,
Campbell was disappointed to learn that
his average speed had been 299 miles per
hour. However, a few days later, he was
told that a mistake had been made. His
average speed had been 301 miles per hour. Since that time, racing drivers have
reached speeds of over 400 miles an hour. Following his father's footsteps many
years later, Sir Malcolm's son, Donald, also set up a world record. Like his
father, he was driving a car called Bluebird.
301 miles per hour

73 The Record-Holder
Little boys who play truant from school are
unimaginative. A quiet day's fishing, or eight
hours in a cinema seeing the same film over and
over again, is usually as far as they get. They
have all been put to shame by a boy who,
while playing truant, travelled 1600 miles. He
hitchhiked to Dover and, towards evening,
went into a boat to find somewhere to sleep.
When he woke up next morning, he discovered
that the boat had, in the meantime, travelled to
Calais. No one noticed the boy as he crept off.
From there, he hitch-hiked to Paris in a lorry.
The driver gave him a few biscuits and a cup of
coffee and left him just outside the
city. The next car the boy stopped did not take him into the centre of Paris as he
hoped it would, but to Perpignan on the French-Spanish border. There he was
picked up by a policeman and sent back to England by the local authorities. He
has surely set up a record for the thousands of boys who dream of evading school.
He was picked up by a policeman

74 Out of the Lime-Light
An ancient bus stopped by a dry river bed
and a party of famous actors and actresses got
off. Dressed in dark glasses and old clothes,
they had taken special precautions so that no
one should recognize them. But as they soon
discovered, disguises can sometimes be too
perfect.
'This is a wonderful place for a picnic,' said
Gloria Gleam.
' It couldn't be better, Gloria,' Brinksley
Meers agreed. 'No newspaper men, no film
fans! Why don't we come more often ?'
Meanwhile, two other actors, Rockwall
Slinger and
Merlin Greeves, had carried two large
food baskets to a shady spot
under some trees. When they had all made themselves comfortable, a stranger
appeared. He looked very angry. 'Now you get out of here, all of you!' he
snouted. 'I'm sheriff here. Do you see that notice? It says "No Camping"—in
case you can't read!'
'Look, sheriff,' said Rockwall, 'don't be too hard on us. I'm Rockwall Slinger
and this is Merlin Greeves.'
'Oh, is it?' said the sheriff with a sneer. 'Well, I'm Brinksley Meers, and my
other name is Gloria Gleam. Now you get out of here fast!'
'I'm sheriff here'

75 SOS
When a light passenger plane flew off course
some time ago, it crashed in the mountains
and its pilot was killed. The only passengers, a
young woman and her two baby daughters,
were unhurt. It was the middle of winter.
Snow lay thick on the ground. The woman
knew that the nearest village was miles away.
When it grew dark, she turned a suit-case into
a bed and put the children inside it, covering
them with all the clothes she could find.
During the night, it got terribly cold. The
woman kept as near as she could to the
children and even tried to get into the case
herself, but it was too small. Early next
morning, she heard planes
passing overhead and wondered how she could send a signal. Then she had an
idea. She stamped out the letters 'SOS' in the snow. Fortunately, a pilot saw
the signal and sent a message by radio to the nearest town. It.was not long before
a helicopter arrived on the scene to rescue the survivors of the plane crash.
She turned a suit-case into

76 April Fools' Day
'To end our special news bulletin,' said
the voice of the television announcer, * we
are taking you to the macaroni fields of
Calabria. Macaroni has been grown in
this area for over six hundred years. Two
of the leading growers, Giuseppe Moldova
and Riccardo Brabante, tell me that they
have been expecting a splendid crop this
year and harvesting has begun earlier
than usual. Here you can see two workers
who, between them, have just finished
cutting three cart-loads of golden brown
macaroni stalks. The whole village has
been working day and night gathering
and threshing this year's crop before the
September rains. On the right, you can
see Mrs Brabante herself. She has been helping her husband for thirty years now.
Mrs Brabante is talking to the manager of the local factory where the crop is
processed. This last scene shows you what will happen at the end of the harvest:
the famous Calabrian macaroni-eating competition! Signor Fratelli, the present
champion, has won it every year since 1961. And that ends our special bulletin
for today, Thursday, April 1st. We are now returning you to the studio.'
golden brown macaroni stalks

77 A Successful Operation
The mummy of an Egyptian woman who died
in 800 B.C. has just had an operation. The
mummy is that of Shepenmut who was once
a singer in the Temple of Thebes. As there
were strange marks on the X-ray plates taken
of the mummy, doctors have been trying to
find out whether the woman died of a rare
disease. The only way to do this was to
operate. The operation, which lasted for over
four hours, proved to be very difficult because
of the hard resin which covered the skin. The
doctors removed a section of the mummy and
sent it to a laboratory. They also found something
which the X-ray plates did not show: a small wax
figure
of the god Duamutef. This god which has the head of a cow was normally placed
inside a mummy. The doctors have not yet decided how the woman died. They
feared that the mummy would fall to pieces when they cut it open, but for-
tunately this has not happened. The mummy successfully survived the operation.
The operation proved to be
very difficult

78 The Last One?
After reading an article entitled ' Cigarette
Smoking and Your Health' I lit a cigarette to
calm my nerves. I smoked with concentration and
pleasure as I was sure that this would be my last
cigarette. For a whole week I did not smoke at all
and during this time, my wife suffered
terribly. I had all the usual symptoms of
someone giving up smoking: a bad temper and
an enormous appetite. My friends kept on
offering me cigarettes and cigars. They made no
effort to hide their amusement whenever I
produced a packet of sweets from my pocket. After
seven days of this I went to a party. Everybody
around me was smoking and I felt extremely uncomfortable. When my old friend
Brian urged me to accept a cigarette, it was more than I could bear. I took one
guiltily, lit it and smoked with satisfaction. My wife was delighted that things
had returned to normal once more. Anyway, as Brian pointed out, it is the
easiest thing in the world to give up smoking. He himself has done it lots of
times!
My friends kept on ojfering
me cigarettes

79 By Air
I used to travel by air a great deal when I was
a boy. My parents used to live in South
America and I used to fly there from Europe
in the holidays. An air-hostess would take
charge of me and I never had an unpleasant
experience. I am used to travelling by air and
only on one occasion have I ever felt frightened.
After taking off, we were flying low over the
city and slowly gaining height, when the plane
suddenly turned round and flew back to the
airport. While we were waiting to land, an air-
hostess told us to keep calm and to get off the
plane quietly as soon as it had touched down. Every-
body on board was worried and we were
curious to find out what had happened. Later we learnt that there was a very
important person on board. The police had been told that a bomb had been
planted on the plane. After we had landed, the plane was searched thoroughly.
Fortunately, nothing was found and five hours later we were able to take off
again.
/ used to travel by air a
great deal

80 The Crystal Palace
Perhaps the most extraordinary building of the
nineteenth century was the Crystal Palace,
which was built in Hyde Park for the Great
Exhibition of 1851. The Crystal Palace was
different from all other buildings in the
world, for it was made of iron and glass. It
was one of the biggest buildings of all time
and a lot of people from many countries came
to see it. A great many goods were sent to the
exhibition from various parts of the world.
There was also a great deal of machinery on
display. The most wonderful piece of
machinery on show was Nasmyth's steam hammer.
Though in those days, travelling was not as easy as
it is today, steam boats carried thousands
of visitors across the Channel from
Europe. On arriving in England, they were taken to the Crystal Palace by train.
There were six million visitors in all, and the profits from the exhibition were
used to build museums and colleges. Later, the Crystal Palace was moved to
South London. It remained one of the most famous buildings in the world until
it was burnt down in 1936.
The most wonderful piece
of machinery

81 Escape
When he had killed the guard, the prisoner of war
quickly dragged him into the bushes. Working
rapidly in the darkness, he soon changed into
the dead man's clothes. Now, dressed in a blue
uniform and with a rifle over his shoulder, the
prisoner marched boldly up and down in front of
the camp. He could hear shouting in the camp
itself. Lights were blazing and men were
running here nnd there.' they had just
discovered that a prisoner had escaped. At that
moment, a large black car with four officers
inside it, stopped at the camp gates. The officers
got out and the prisoner stood to attention and
saluted as they passed. When they
had gone, the driver of the car came towards him. The man obviously wanted
to talk. He was rather elderly with grey hair and clear blue eyes. The prisoner
felt sorry for him, but there was nothing else he could do. As the man came near,
the prisoner knocked him to the ground with a sharp blow. Then, jumping into
the car, he. drove off as quickly as he could.
The prisoner marched boldly
up and down

82 Monster or Fish ?
Fishermen and sailors sometimes claim to
have seen monsters in the sea. Though people
have often laughed at stories told by seamen, it
is now known that many of these 'monsters'
which have at times been sighted are simply
strange fish. Occasionally, unusual creatures
are washed to the shore, but they are rarely
caught out at sea. Some time ago, however, a
peculiar fish was caught near Madagascar. A
small fishing-boat was carried miles out to sea
by the powerful fish as it pulled on the line.
Realizing that this was no ordinary fish, the
fisherman made every effort not to damage it in
any way. When it was eventually brought to
shore, it was found to be over thirteen feet
long. It had a head like a horse, big blue eyes, shining silver skin, and a bright
red tail. The fish, which has since been sent to a museum where it is being
examined by a scientist, is called an oarfish. Such creatures have rarely been seen
alive by man as they live at a depth of six hundred feet.
rarely been seen alive by man

83 After the Elections
The former Prime Minister, Mr Went-worth
Lane, was defeated in the recent elections. He
is now retiring from political life and has gone
abroad. My friend, Crawley, has always__been
a fanatical opponent of Mr Lane's Radical
Progressive Party. After the elections,
Crawley went to the former Prime
Minister's house. When he asked if Mr Lane
lived there, the policeman on duty told him
that since his defeat, the ex-Prime Minister
had gone abroad. On the following day,
Crawley went to the house again. The same
policeman was just walking slowly past the
entrance, when Crawley asked the same question.
Though a little
suspicious this time, the policeman gave him the same answer. The day after,
Crawley went to the house once more and asked exactly the same question. This
time, the policeman lost his temper. ' I told you yesterday and the day before
yesterday,' he shouted, 'Mr Lane was defeated in the elections. He has retired
from political life and gone to live abroad!'
'Itknow,' answered Crawley, 'but I love to hear you say it!'
retiring from political life

84 On Strike
Busmen have decided to go on strike next week.
The strike is due to begin on Tuesday. No one
knows how long it will last. The busmen have
stated that the strike will continue until general
agreement is reached about pay and working
conditions. Most people believe that the strike
will last for at least a week. Many owners of
private cars are going to offer 'free 'rides' to
people on their way to work. This will relieve
pressure on the trains to some extent. Meanwhile,
a number of university students have volunteered
to drive buses while the strike lasts. All the young
men are expert drivers, but before they drive any of
the buses, they will have
to pass a special test. The students are going to take the test in two days' time.
Even so, people are going to find it difficult to get to work. But so far, the public
has expressed its gratitude to the students in letters to the Press. Only one or
two people have objected that the students will drive too fast!
people on their way to work

85 Never too Old to Learn
I have just received a letter from my old school
informing me that my former headmaster, Mr
Reginald Page, will be retiring next week.
Pupils of the school, old and new, will be
sending him a present to mark the occasion.
All those who have contributed towards the
gift will sign their names in a large album
which will be sent to the headmaster's home.
We shall all remember Mr Page for his
patience and understanding and for the kindly
encouragement he gave us when we went so
unwillingly to school. A great many former
pupils will be attending a farewell dinner in his
honour next Thursday. It is a curious
coincidence that the
day before his retirement, Mr Page will have been teaching for a total of forty
years. After he has retired, he will devote himself to gardening. For him, this
will be an entirely new hobby. But this does jiot matter, for, as he has often
remarked, one is never too old to learn.
one is never loo old lo learn

86 Out of Control
As the man tried to swing the speed-boat
round, the steering-wheel came away in his
hands. He waved desperately to his
companion, who had been water-skiing for
the last fifteen minutes. Both men had hardly
had time to realize what was happening when
they were thrown violently into the sea. The
speed-boat had struck a buoy, but it
continued to move very quickly across the
water. Both men had just begun to swim
towards the shore, when they noticed with
dismay that the speed-boat was moving in a
circle. It now came straight towards them at
tremendous speed. In less than a minute, it
roared past them only a few feet away.
After it
had passed, they swam on as quickly as they could because they knew that the
boat would soon return. They had just had enough time to swim out of danger
when the boat again completed a circle. On this occasion, however, it had slowed
down considerably. The petrol had nearly all been used up. Before long, the
noise dropped completely and the boat began to drift gently across the water.
. . . swam on quickly

87 A Perfect Alibi
' At the time the murder was committed, I was
travelling on the 8 o'clock train to London,'
said the man.
'Do you always catch such an early train ?'
asked the inspector.
'Of course I do,' answered the man. ' I must be
at work at 10 o'clock. My employer will confirm
that I was there on time.'
' Would a later train get you to work on time?'
asked the inspector.
' I suppose it would, but I never catch a later
train.'
'At what time did you arrive at the station ?'
'At ten to eight. I bought a paper and
waited for the train.'
'And you didn't notice anything unusual ?'
'Of course not.'
'I suggest,' said the inspector, 'that you are not telling the truth. I suggest
that you did not catch the 8 o'clock train, but that you caught the 8.25 which
would still get you to work on time. You see, on the morning of the murder, the
8 o'clock train did not run at all. It broke down at Ferngreen station and was
taken off the line.'
/ suggest you are not telling
the truth'

Trapped in a Mine
Six men have been trapped in a mine for
seventeen hours. If they are not brought
to the surface soon they may lose their
lives. However, rescue operations are
proving difficult. If explosives are used,
vibrations will cause the roof of the mine
to collapse. Rescue workers are therefore
drilling a hole on^the north side of the
mine. They intend to bring the men up
in a special capsule. If there had not been
a hard layer of rock beneath the soil, they
would have completed the job in a few
hours. As it is, they have been drilling for
sixteen hours and they still have a long
way to go. Meanwhile, a microphone,
which was lowered into the mine two
hours ago, has enabled the men to keep in touch with the closest relative
Though they are running out of food and drink, the men are cheerful and con
fident that they will get out soon. They have been told that rescue operations ai
progressing smoothly. If they knew how difficult it was to drill through the han
rock, they would lose heart.
the men are cheerful

A Slip of the Tongue
People will do anything to see a free
show—even if it is a bad one. When the news
got round that a variety show would be
presented at our local cinema by the P. and
U. Bird Seed Company, we all rushed to see
it. We had to queue for hours to get in and
there must have been several hundred people
present just before the show began.
Unfortunately, the show was one of the dullest
we have ever seen. Those who failed to get in
need not have felt disappointed as many of
the artistes who should have appeared did not
come. The only funny things we heard that
evening came from the advertiser at the
beginning of the programme. He was
obviously very nervous and for some minutes stood awkwardly before the
microphone. As soon as he opened his mouth, everyone burst out laughing. We
all know what the poor man should have said, but what he actually said was:
'This is the Poo and Ee Seed Bird Company. Good ladies, evening and
gentlemen!'
He was obviously very nervous

90 Brasilia
Though Brazil is one of the richest countries in
the world, much of it has not yet been
developed. It was mainly for this reason that
the Brazilian government decided to have a
new city built 600 miles north-west of Rio de
Janeiro. Designed by the great architect
Lucio Costa, the new city, Brasilia, replaced
Rio de Janeiro as the capital of Brazil in i960.
Brasilia has been carefully planned for modern
living. Its wide roads, which can take fourteen
lanes of traffic, have been kept away from
living areas. Children do not have to cross busy streets
to go to school. Housewives can visit shopping centres
on foot, for in these specially designed
living
areas, cars are unnecessary. At first, the government had great difficulty in per-
suading people to leave Rio and to settle in Brasilia. Since 1960, however, the
population has been growing all the time. Brasilia has quickly established itself
as the capital of the country. The idea to have the capital moved so far inland
will have a great effect on the future of Brazil.
great difficulty in
persuading people

91 Three Men in a Basket
A pilot noticed a balloon which seemed to be
making for a Royal Air Force Station nearby.
He informed the station at once, but no one
there was able to explain the mystery. The
officer in the control tower was very angry
when he heard the news, because balloons can
be a great danger to aircraft. He said that
someone might be spying on the station and
the pilot was ordered to keep track of the
strange object. The pilot managed to circle
the balloon for some time. He could make
out three men in a basket under it and one of
them was holding field-glasses. When the
balloon was over the station, the pilot saw one
of the men
taking photographs. Soon afterwards, the balloon began to descend and it
landed near an airfield. The police were called in, but they could not arrest any-
one, for the basket contained two Members of Parliament and the Commanding
Officer of the station! As the Commanding Officer explained later, one half of
the station did not know what the other half was doing!
someone might be spying

92 Asking for Trouble
It must have been about two in the morning
when I returned home. I tried to wake up
my wife by ringing the door-bell, but she was
fast asleep, so I got a ladder from the shed in
the garden, put it against the wall, and began
climbing towards the bedroom window. I was
almost there when a sarcastic voice below
said,' I don't think the windows need cleaning
at this time of the night.' I looked down and
nearly fell off the ladder when I saw a
policeman. I immediately regretted answering
in the way I did, but I said, 'I enjoy cleaning
windows at night.'
'So do I,' answered the policeman in the same
tone. 'Excuse my interrupting
you. I hate to interrupt a man when he's busy working, but would you mind
coming with me to the station ?'
'Well, I'd prefer to stay here,' I said. 'You see, I've forgotten my key.'
'Your what?' he called.
'My key,' I shouted.
Fortunately, the shouting woke up my wife who opened the window just as
the ooliceman had started to climb towards me.
' I'd prefer to stay here'

93 A Noble Gift
One of the most famous monuments in the
world, the Statue of Liberty, was presented to the
United States of America in the nineteenth
century by the people of France. The great
statue, which was designed by the sculptor
Auguste Barth-oldi, took ten years to complete.
The actual figure was made of copper supported
by a metal framework which had been especially
constructed by Eiffel. Before it could be
transported to the United States, a site had to be
found for it and a pedestal had to be built. The site
chosen was an island at the entrance of New York
Harbour. By 1884, a statue which was 151 feet tall,
had been erected in Paris.
The following year, it was taken to pieces and sent to America. By the end of
October 1886, the statue had been put together again and it was officially pre-
sented to the American people by Bartholdi. Ever since then, the great monu-
ment has been a symbol of liberty for the millions of people who have passed
through New York Harbour to make their homes in America.
One of the most
famous monuments

94 Future Champions
Experiments have proved that children can be
instructed in swimming at a very early age. At
a special swimming pool in Los Angeles,
children become expert at holding their breath
under water even before they can walk. Babies
of two months old do not appear to be
reluctant to enter the water. It is not long
before they are so accustomed to swimming
that they can pick up weights from the floor of
the pool. A game that is very popular with
these young swimmers is the underwater
tricycle race. Tricycles are lined up on the
floor of the pool seven feet under water. The
children compete against each other to reach
the other end of the pool.
Many pedal their tricycles, but most of them prefer to push or drag them. Some
children can cover the whole length of the pool without coming up for breath
even once. Whether they will ever become future Olympic champions, only
time will tell. Meanwhile, they should encourage those among us who cannot
swim five yards before they are gasping for air.
future Olympic champions

95 A Fantasy
When the Ambassador of Escalopia returned
home for lunch, his wife got a shock. He
looked pale and his clothes were in a
frightful state.
'What has happened?' she asked. 'How
did your clothes get into such a mess ?'
'A fire-extinguisher, my dear,' answered the
Ambassador drily. 'University students set the
Embassy on fire this morning.'
'Good heavens!' exclaimed his wife. 'And
where were you at the time?'
' I was in my office as usual,' answered the
Ambassador. 'The fire broke out in the basement. I went down
immediately,
of course, and that fool, Horst, aimed a fire-extinguisher at me. He thought I was
on fire. I must definitely get that fellow posted.'
The Ambassador's wife went on asking questions, when she suddenly noticed
a big hole in her husband's hat.
'And how can you explain that ?' she asked.
'Oh, that,' said the Ambassador. 'Someone fired a shot through my office
window. Accurate, don't you think ? Fortunately, I wasn't wearing it at the time.
If I had been, I would not have been able to get home for lunch.'
set the Embassy on fire
this morning

96 The Dead Return
A Festival for the Dead is held once a year in
Japan. This festival is a cheerful occasion, for
on this day, the dead are said to return to their
homes and they are welcomed by the living. As
they are expected to be hungry after their
long journey, food is laid out for them.
Specially-made lanterns are hung outside each
house to help the dead to find their way. All
night long, people dance and sing. In the early
morning, the food that had been laid out for
the dead is thrown into a river or into the sea
as it is considered unlucky for anyone living
to eat it. In towns that are near the sea, the tiny
lanterns which had been hung in the streets
the night before,
are placed into the water when the festival is over. Thousands of lanterns slowly
drift out to sea guiding the dead on their return journey to the other world. This
is a moving spectacle, for crowds of people stand on the shore watching the
lanterns drifting away until they can be seen no more.
a cheerful occasion

Texts from practice and progress longman edition

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