The triangle of influence session handout
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The document discusses the Triangle of Influence model for effective persuasion and influence. It argues that simply "telling" people what to do does not work and raises defenses, but that influencing change requires connecting with people, understanding their perspective, finding common ground, and showing how the change benefits their interests. The key is adjusting one's language and approach to align with the other person's needs and point of view.
The triangle of influence session handout
- 1. The Triangle of Influence How to get Anyone to do Anything (so long as it is in their interest too)
- 2. The Triangle of Influence The Triangle of Influence Copyright © Corporate Edge Asia Pte Ltd All rights reserved. No part of this product may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Document Revision Revision Date 1/7/2015 Table of Contents The Triangle of Influence 3 The Triangle of Influence 3 Do you like change? 4 Rate yourself 4 Why "Telling" doesn't work 5 Telling is a bad way to influence 5 The Path of Great resistance 6 How telling raises our defenses 6 Influence that works 7 The HUGS model of Influence 7 Tune into WII FM 8 Connect witht them 8 Find Similarities 9 Speak from the overlap 9 Present to Senior Executives 10 3 Steps to better presentations 10 The Math of Influence 11 Influence has to add up 11
- 3. The Triangle of Influence The Triangle of Influence The Triangle of Influence Influence is both an art and a science. Here, we examine the neuroscience of influence and how we can leverage this to raise our leadership ability. When you cross your arms the “wrong” way for you, it will be uncomfortable. If you forced yourself to do so for some time, then eventually, it would become the new normal.
- 4. The Triangle of Influence Do you like change? Rate yourself Most change initiatives in the workplace fail according to numerous studies. Just 15% of them succeed, and even those were not enjoyed. How do you FEEL when you are being told what you have to do? Yet this is exactly how most leaders communicate what they want from you.
- 5. The Triangle of Influence Why "Telling" doesn't work Telling is a bad way to influence Telling someone to change (something we already know is uncomfortable) doesn’t work. Even if you YELL! “Telling” immediately raises the defences and stress levels of those on the receiving end. This is a secret that most managers don’t understand. They have been telling us and encountering our defence system.
- 6. The Triangle of Influence The Path of Great resistance How telling raises our defenses The moment I order you with the words “should” or “must”, your instant reaction is to question it. And if it is about change, well I don’t like change either. To influence someone to change you express the current reality and the desired change. The total cost of that change in personal terms and, most importantly, what’s in it for me? The combination of these causes motivation in the brain.
- 7. The Triangle of Influence Influence that works The HUGS model of Influence We summarise this in a simple model called HUGS. Tuning into WII FM takes these three steps.
- 8. The Triangle of Influence Tune into WII FM Connect with them We must connect with the other person. Visually is best, but a friendly voice over the phone works well too. Be very careful of email and text to make a connection. Tune into their Point of View. It is YOUR job to tune into them (NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND)
- 9. The Triangle of Influence Find Similarities Speak from the overlap What do you have in common? Have nothing in common? Really? Are you both alive? Are you both in the same room? Are you both HUMAN? Adjust to their needs. Once you’ve established their point of view, you need to adjust your language, your approach and make sure that you are aligned with them.
- 10. The Triangle of Influence Present to Senior Executives 3 Steps to better presentations Making presentations to senior people can be daunting. It takes more time to prepare doing it this way, but then it works and your old way probably didn’t. By understanding your audience and WHAT”S IN IT FOR THEM. Connect the RESOURCES (COST) they will use to achieve the change that will give them the VALUE they want.
- 11. The Triangle of Influence The Math of Influence Influence has to add up Inside our brain, we evaluate our PERCEPTION of the total cost, and our PERCEPTION of the value it brings to us personally. Motivation to change is the FRUIT of this process.