Managing Your Relationship with Your Boss
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This document discusses how subordinates can be set up to fail by their bosses and provides strategies to avoid this. It notes that the "set-up-to-fail syndrome" is widespread, insidious, and based on common biases. Subordinates can contribute by recognizing cues that their boss is losing confidence in them, such as diminished contact or feedback. However, bosses' perceptions of performance often do not correlate with objective measures. The document recommends that subordinates take responsibility by increasing positive communication with their boss and accomplishing tasks to rebuild the relationship.
Managing Your Relationship with Your Boss
- 1. Managing Your Relationship with Your Boss: Managing Your Relationship with Your Boss: Don't Set Yourself Up for Failure Presented by: Rob Orr, SPHR HR Consultant
- 2. “We’re running as an economy at 30% efficiency” “We’re running as an economy at 30% efficiency” Curt Coffman Employee Engagement Global Practice Leader, The Gallup Organization HRMagazine, February 2004
- 3. Session ObjectivesSession Objectives • Identify the cues to watch out for • Recognize how you might contribute to the problem • Identify steps you can take to turn the situation around By the end of the session, you will be able to:
- 4. AgendaAgenda • Review purpose and desired outcomes • Difficult Bosses • The Set-Up-To-Fail Syndrome • How Subordinates Contribute • Taking Responsibility • Summary
- 5. Your Difficult BossYour Difficult Boss Use the worksheet to describe a difficult boss that you have known
- 6. The Difficult BossThe Difficult Boss 1. Negative, mean spirited 2. Autocratic 3. ______________________________ 4. ______________________________ 5. ______________________________ 6. ______________________________ 7. ______________________________ 8. ______________________________
- 7. The Set-Up-To Fail SyndromeThe Set-Up-To Fail Syndrome • Widespread • Insidious & Pernicious • Based on “Common Wisdom”
- 8. Common WisdomCommon Wisdom Three Groups • Stronger Performers • Weaker Performers • Deadwood
- 9. Different Strokes for Different Folks… Different Strokes for Different Folks… Bosses consciously treat stronger and weaker performers differently – Stronger performers get autonomy – Weaker performers get help – Deadwood gets an invitation to leave
- 10. The Downward SpiralThe Downward Spiral
- 11. Performance Management Models Performance Management Models • Situational Leadership Theory © • Interaction Management ® • Leadership for Results™ Don’t these “Common Sense” Models prescribe just that?
- 12. Labels, Biases, & MisperceptionsLabels, Biases, & Misperceptions Having formed an opinion, our minds draw on all possible evidence to support it. When confronted with evidence that contradicts our viewpoint, we overlook it or denigrate it, or find some other way of writing it off. That way we can cling to our original opinion as though it were a universal truth. Francis Bacon, 1620 (updated language by Manzoni & Barsoux.)
- 13. How does this start?How does this start? Loss of Confidence in Subordinates
- 14. Triggers of Lost ConfidenceTriggers of Lost Confidence What would you say?
- 15. Triggers of Lost ConfidenceTriggers of Lost Confidence • Disloyalty • Complaining • Negative attitude • Low engagement or energy • Low-self-confidence • Insensitivity to signals • Know-it-all • Disrespect for Boss’s time • Blatantly political • Extrinsic motivation • Trying too hard
- 16. Perceiving PerformancePerceiving Performance What about objective performance measures ?
- 17. Perceiving PerformancePerceiving Performance Goal Commitment and Sales Performance 0.7 In-Group Stronger Perf. -0.83 -0.19 - 0.26 Out -Group Weaker Perf. - -1 -0.8 -0.6 -0.4 -0.2 0 0.2 0.4 0.6 0.8 1 Low High Goal Commitment StandardizedSalesPerformance
- 18. In-Groups and Out-GroupsIn-Groups and Out-Groups • 80-90% of managers have sharply differentiated relationships with subordinates. • In-Group members have close partnerships as “trusted assistants.” • Out-Group members have low-quality relationships as “hired-hands.”
- 19. Performance PerceptionsPerformance Perceptions • No correlation between objective performance & relationship quality: 1993 – Duarte, Goodson, & Klich • Very high correlation between “liking” and in-group status: 1990 – Wayne & Ferris • Boss expectation in 1st week a better predictor of “in-group status” than actual performance at end of 2nd week 1993 – Liden, Wayne, & Stilwell
- 20. The Self-Reinforcing DynamicThe Self-Reinforcing Dynamic Boss’s behavior toward “weaker” performers Boss is increasingly impatient pushy or intense during contacts Subordinate progressively disconnects Subordinate looks for excuses Boss is not well informed Boss is less able to make useful suggestions Boss‘s anxiety increases Problem recognition is delayed More problems arise Subordinate performs less well overall Subordinate spends time on excuses (rather than problem solving) Boss loses faith in Subordinate's excuses
- 21. RealityReality “Good people can quickly end up with bad labels. That needn’t be a problem. The boss’s inaccurate label becomes a problem because it is so hard to change.” Jean-François Manzoni & Jean-Louis Barsoux The Set-Up-To-Fail Syndrome
- 22. Are You in the Out-Group?Are You in the Out-Group? Let’s take a look! Refer to the answers on Your Difficult Boss worksheet
- 23. Your Difficult BossYour Difficult Boss In small groups, share: – the situations you described on page 5 – the factors that contributed to the situation Agree on the common factors ( Write on page 18.)
- 24. “What is there in your approach or way of managing the situation that might be contributing to the problem or getting in the way of its resolution?” “What is there in your approach or way of managing the situation that might be contributing to the problem or getting in the way of its resolution?” Peter Block Flawless Consulting, Second Edition 2000, Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer
- 25. Cues for SubordinatesCues for Subordinates • Attribution of negative personal characteristics • Tendency to reduce contact with Boss • Diminished self-confidence • Hyper vigilance of Boss behavior • Takes feedback with “a grain of salt” • Tendency to bring up the past • Reputation as “the person most likely to disagree with the boss” • Tendency to engage in covert lobbying
- 26. The Difficult BossThe Difficult Boss 1. Negative, mean spirited 2. Autocratic 3. Stickler for details, intolerant, impossible to please 4. Intimidating, treats people as resources 5. Unrealistic 6. Stubborn; impossible to influence 7. Manipulative 8. Meddlesome; untrusting 9. Control freak; micro manager; evaluative 10. Uncommunicative; aloof; unsupportive 11. Weak, prone to favoritism; low performance standards 12. Impatient; temperamental; unpredictable 13. Ignorant bureaucrat; clueless; defensive 14. Stifling my development
- 27. The “Great Boss”The “Great Boss” 1. Development-oriented 2. Intuitive; decisive 3. Has high expectations and aspirations 4. Driven 5. Demanding; has high aspirations 6. Single-minded; focused 7. Politically astute 8. Helpful; caring 9. Encouraging; coaching; informed; close to the pulse 10.Thoughtful, busy 11.Allows self-discovery 12.Passionate; incisive; mercurial; (at worst) impulsive 13.Realistic; better judge; aware of interdependencies; victim of a poorly sold change 14.Considerate; letting me recover
- 28. The Observed BehaviorsThe Observed Behaviors 1. Giving critical feedback 2. Making a unilateral decision 3. Instructing work to be redone 4. Imposing discipline 5. Setting stretch targets 6. Sticking with a doubtful course of action 7. Sending mixed signals 8. Giving unsolicited advice 9. Asking specific questions 10. Delaying response to proposal/ request 11. Not condemning a big mistake 12. Losing temper in public 13. Resisting a proposed change 14. Giving a routine assignment
- 29. Perception is RealityPerception is Reality Lacks loyalty and integrity Personal betrayal To make things better Covert lobbying Lacks judgment, self-control & discipline Challenging, foolish resistance To be heardHolding ground with Boss Lacks judgment & maturity Water under the bridge Avoid repetition Bringing up the past Anti-learning, lacks potential & respect Ignored feedback EffectivenessDiscounting feedback Boss infersBoss seesIntentAction
- 30. Cues for SubordinatesCues for Subordinates • Attribution of negative personal characteristics • Tendency to reduce contact with Boss • Diminished self-confidence • Hyper vigilance of Boss behavior • Takes feedback with “a grain of salt” • Tendency to bring up the past • Reputation as “the person most likely to disagree with the boss” • Tendency to engage in covert lobbying
- 31. Taking ResponsibilityTaking Responsibility • Stop digging • Start talking • Accomplish some tasks
- 32. Taking ResponsibilityTaking Responsibility • Stop digging – Get your job in order – Get your head in order – Don’t rush it • Start talking • Accomplish some tasks
- 33. Taking ResponsibilityTaking Responsibility • Stop digging • Start talking – Increase contact with boss – Make it easy for the boss – Invite your boss to a meeting – Have a new conversation • Accomplish some tasks
- 34. Taking ResponsibilityTaking Responsibility • Stop digging • Start talking • Accomplish some tasks – Maintain your own self-confidence – Fight the urge to withdraw – Don’t overreach
- 35. Things to RememberThings to Remember • Know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. • There is no one to blame. • Let go of expectations of your boss. • Offer the benefit of the doubt. • Produce hope, rather than pursue it.
- 36. The Set-Up-To Fail SyndromeThe Set-Up-To Fail Syndrome Loss of Confidence •• WidespreadWidespread •• Insidious & PerniciousInsidious & Pernicious •• Based onBased on ““Common WisdomCommon Wisdom””
- 37. Managing Your Relationship with Your Boss: Managing Your Relationship with Your Boss: Don't Set Yourself Up for Failure Presented by: Rob Orr, SPHR HR Consultant