Discussing Difficult Issues
- 1. Supporting Grieving YouthSupporting Grieving Youth Sara Torres, MA, Bilingual Program & Outreach Coordinator Julianne O Keefe, MSW, MPA, Program & Outreach Coordinator
- 2. Examples of LossesExamples of Losses § Death § Incarceration § Deployment § Illness/Injury § Divorce/separation § Move § Foster care § Loss of job § Abuse/neglect § Exposure to violence
- 3. Effects of Unresolved GriefEffects of Unresolved Grief § Poor school performance § Sleep difficulties § Physical illness § Mental Illness § Alcohol and drug abuse § Behavior problems § Sexual promiscuity § Illegal behavior
- 4. Ted E. Bear Hollow ServicesTed E. Bear Hollow Services Free grief support services following significant death or during serious illness/injury Age-appropriate programs for children ages 3-18 and adults Various causes of death Peer support model rather than therapy Facilitated by volunteers who complete a 20-hour training
- 5. Ted E. Bear Hollow ProgramsTed E. Bear Hollow Programs Support Groups Monthly 8-Session Day Camps KidsKamp Tinsel & Tears Teen Programs Camp Hope: A Retreat for Grieving Teens Adult Programs Adults Helping Adults (AHA) Library Program CARE: Serious Illness/Injury
- 8. Adult Grief vs. Child GriefAdult Grief vs. Child Grief Children grieve more sporadically than adults Children are more capable than adults of putting grief aside Children do not have to deal with the many reminders as do adults Children grieve through each developmental stage
- 9. Developmental Age Common Grief Reactions How to Support Preschool (3 to 5 years) Reverts back to former behaviors Thinks death is temporary Plays death Use concrete language Explain in honest, clear terms Encourage play
- 10. Developmental Age Common Grief Reactions How to Support Elementary (6 to 9 years) Understands permanence of death Connects that death can happen to others Experiences guilt Listen: let them do the talking Reassure them that their feelings are normal and it wasn t their fault Foster creative expression
- 11. Developmental Age Common Grief Reactions How to Support Preteens (10 to 12 years) Acting out Feelings of anger and unfaired against Fears of being different, abandonment, and own mortality Encourage healthy ways of expressing their feelings Use rituals to provide structure and normalcy Provide details as desired
- 12. Developmental Age Common Grief Reactions How to Support Teens (13 to 18 years) Spiritual & philosophical reflection Increased reliance on peers Search for identity Provide unconditional, nonjudgmental support Teach and model healthy coping skills Respect need for private time
- 13. How can we help?How can we help?
- 14. Why is this important?Why is this important? FEELINGS sadness, anger, guilt, anxiety, loneliness, shock, relief, despair THOUGHT PATTERNS disbelief, confusion, worry, low self-esteem, lack of concentration PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS nausea, fatigue, headaches, rapid heartbeat, decreased resistance to illness BEHAVIORS trouble sleeping, crying, appetite change, avoidance, irritability, social withdrawal
- 15. CompanioningCompanioning Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D. Honoring the spirit Curiosity Learning from others Walking alongside Being still Discovering the gifts of sacred silence Listening with the heart Bearing witness to struggles of others Being present to another person s pain Respecting disorder and confusion Going to the wilderness of the soul with another human being Focusing on the intellect Expertise Teaching others Leading Frantic movement forward Filling every painful moment with words Analyzing with the head Directing the struggles of others Taking away the pain Imposing order and logic Thinking you are responsible for finding the way out Companioning Treating
- 16. TED E. BEAR TIPSTED E. BEAR TIPS T Tell the truth E Explain concretely D Don t deny E Expect many emotions B Be all ears E Encourage play A Allow choices R Routine
- 17. Contact InformationContact Information Ted E. Bear Hollow 7811 Farnam Drive Omaha, NE 68114 402-502-2773 www.tedebearhollow.org