Get Real 8th Grade

GET|REAL
8TH GRADE
PROGRAM DIRECTOR- LARRY MOORE
SENIOR iMAD EDUCATOR- SHAWNA SCHAEFFER
HEALTH iMADgirls EDUCATOR- LINDSEY KELLY
HEALTH EDUCATOR-
HEALTH EDUCATOR-

• “THE PRODUCTION OF THIS SLIDESHOW PRESENTATION WAS MADE POSSIBLE BY GRANT NUMBER 90AK042-02-00 FROM
THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES, ADMINISTRATION FOR CHILDREN AND FAMILIES. ITS CONTENTS
ARE SOLELY THE RESPONSIBILITY OF HEARTLAND RURAL HEALTH NETWORK AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT
THE OFFICIAL VIEWS OF THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES, ADMINISTRATION FOR CHILDREN AND
FAMILIES.”

WELCOME
• GET TO KNOW YOUR FACILITATORS
• INCENTIVE EXPLANATION-TICKETS
• PARENT/ADULT WORKSHEETS
• AT THEN END OF THE PROGRAM WILL DRAW TICKETS FOR PRIZES.
• PRE-SURVEY/POST SURVEY- DO NOT PUT YOUR NAME ON THESE!
• SIGN IN SHEETS

GOALS FOR LESSON ONE
• CREATE GROUP RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES
• REVIEW DECISION MAKING.
• ACQUAINT STUDENTS WITH RESOURCES

INTRODUCTION AND CLASS RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES

What rights do you need to have in order to feel safe talking about body
changes and sexual health?
What would you need to do to help your classmates feel safe talking about
body changes and sexual health?
What responsibilities can you agree to take on for the class to be
successful?

INTRODUCTION TO SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL LEARNING

SELF-AWARENESS- Getting to know and trust yourself. this includes recognizing your feelings
and values, gaining self-confidence, and being aware of what makes you individual and unique.
SELF-MANAGEMENT- Expressing feelings in healthy ways, keeping track of progress toward
goals.
SOCIAL AWARENESS- Understanding others and being able to “put yourself in another person’s
shoes.” it also includes recognizing individual and group differences and similarities; finding and
using family, school and community resources; and understanding the difference between fiction
and reality.

RELATIONSHIP SKILLS- Building healthy relationships, resisting social pressure, dealing with
conflict, seeking help when needed.
RESPONSIBLE DECISION MAKING- How to think through pros and cons of choices and how
your actions may affect others; making good decisions, keeping yourself healthy and safe, and
respecting yourself and others.

NAME THE DECISION TO BE MADE
Choice 1 Choice 2 Choice 3
List possible choices
Pros
Cons
Pros
Cons
Pros
Cons
Make a decision
Evaluate your decision. What do you think will happen as a result of this decision.

NAME THE DECISION TO BE MADE
Choice 1 Choice 2 Choice 3
List possible choices
Pros
Cons
Pros
Cons
Pros
Cons
Make a decision
Evaluate your decision. What do you think will happen as a result of this decision.
The person you like has a girlfriend or boyfriend, but this
person claims to like you too and asks you to meet
someplace private after school. What should you do?

Evaluate the
Decision
Make the
Decision
Pros and
Cons
What are the
choices
Name the
decision
Scenario
The person you like has a girlfriend or boyfriend, but this person claims to like you
too and asks you to meet someplace private after school. What should you do?

Lets Process…..
1. How does weighing pros and cons assist with decision making?
2. Why learn a decision-making model?
3. How can you use this model in your everyday life?

IDENTIFY RESOURCES:
You don’t have to make decisions on your own.
Who and what are some resources you can go to about questions and support in making
decisions.
You should be considering family, school, online and community resources such as the library,
health centers, school nurses, teachers, etc.

IF YOU HAVE A
QUESTION WRITE IT ON
THE CARD. IF YOU DO
NOT HAVE A QUESTION
ANSWER THIS:
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE
SPORTS TEAM?
DO NOT PUT YOUR
NAME ON THE CARD.

GOALS FOR LESSON TWO
• NAME AND CONTRAST QUALITIES OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
WITH QUALITIES OF AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.
• DEVELOP A PLAN FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS.
• DISCUSS THE IMPORTANCE OF RESPECT AND BOUNDARIES.

HEALTHY/UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP CHARACTERISTICS

Relationships can mean friendships or family interactions as well as dating
relationships.
In healthy relationships, people feel respected, safe, and trusted. They respect each
other’s personal boundaries.
In unhealthy relationships, people may feel unsafe or uncomfortable or may believe
their partner doesn’t trust them.

Think about some characters in movies or on T.V. shows.
What are some examples of healthy relationships?
What are some examples of unhealthy relationships?
What makes these healthy and unhealthy?
Do you think that a big age gap between partners in a relationship could be unhealthy?
What might be unhealthy about it?

Teen
Relationship
Equality
Wheel
Honesty and
Accountability
Non-Threatening
Behavior
Negotiation
and Fairness
Communication
Shared
Responsibility
Respect
Trust and Support
Independence
and AutonomyEquality is very important in a relationship.
These are characteristics of what equality
should look like and be in a balanced
relationship. We will go more in depth on
these topics on the next slide.

Honesty and Accountability
• Accepting responsibility for self
• Acknowledging if there has been past use of violence.
Non-Threatening Behavior
• Talk or action to make partners feel safe to express themselves
• Commitment not to use threats or manipulative actions
Negotiation and Fairness
• Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict
• Accepting change
• Being willing to compromise
Communication
• Communicating openly and truthfully
• Being honest to oneself and to one’s own feelings
Shared Responsibility
• Mutually agreeing on fair distribution of work
• Making decisions together
• Sharing parenting responsibilities when there are children
Respect
• Listening non-judgmentally
• Being emotionally affirming and understanding
• Valuing opinions
Trust and Support
• Supporting each other’s goals
• Respecting each other’s rights and individual feelings,
friends, activities and opinions
• Overcoming jealousy issues and envy
Independence and Autonomy
• Recognizing interdependence
• Awareness of dependence needs
• Accepting individual “separateness”
• Fostering individual identity

Power and
Control
Wheel
Anger and/or
Emotional Abuse
Peer Pressure
Using Social
Status
Intimidation
Minimize, Deny or
Blame
Threats
Sexual Coercions
Isolation or
Exclusion

Anger/Emotional Abuse
• Putting them down-Making them feel badly about
themselves
• Name calling
• Making them think they’re crazy
• Playing mind games
• Humiliating them
• Making them feel guilty
Using Social Status
• Treating them like a servant
• Making all the decisions
• Acting like the authority in the relationship
• Being the one to define gender roles
Intimidation
• Making them afraid by using looks, actions or gestures
• Smashing things
• Destroying property
• Abusing pets
• Displaying weapons
Minimize, Deny, Blame
• Making light of the abuse and not taking concerns about it seriously
• Saying the abuse didn’t happen
• Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
• Saying they caused it
Threats
• Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt them
• Threatening to leave, to commit suicide, or to report them to the
police
• Making them drop charges
• Making them do illegal things
Isolation or Exclusion
• Controlling what they do, who they see and talk to, what they read,
or where they go
• Limiting outside involvement
• Using jealousy to justify actions
Sexual Coercion
• Manipulating or making threats to get sex
• Getting them pregnant
• Threatening to take the children away
• Getting them drunk or drugged to have sex

CONSENT:
Means that before any activity the other person has given a definite
yes. If there is not a definite yes, then the answer is always no.

Healthy Vs Unhealthy Scenarios:
Healthy:
When Ryan told his partner he was going to the party with his friends instead of her, she said:
“That party sounds like it’s going to be great. I hope you have a good time.”
Unhealthy:
Ryan never plays ball anymore. He says his partner gets really angry when he doesn’t spend
his free time with her.

Some unhealthy behaviors may be deemed okay. This does not mean
that it is okay. This could include name calling and then saying it was a
joke. These behaviors can be harmful and hurtful, and are not part of a
healthy relationship.

Lets Process…..
1. Why do you think people get into and stay in unhealthy relationships?
2. Name some feelings people have in healthy relationships. Name some feelings people have
while in unhealthy relationships. How might you feel if a friend were in an unhealthy
relationship?
3. Some relationships can be classified as unhealthy, while others are classified as dangerous.
What do you think would make a relation fall into the “dangerous’ category?
4. What are some things that people in unhealthy relationships can do to get out of them?
IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE DON’T HAVE TO FACE THESE
SITUATIONS ALONE. SEEKING HELP IS AN IMPORTANT COMPONENT OF
RELATIONSHIP SKILLS.

MY PLAN FOR A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Why is a healthy relationship important?
Can people have a healthy relationship without having sex?
What is dating? What are some words kids your age use to describe dating?
Why do you think it is important to have a clear understanding of what is and is not
a “date.”
Self awareness is important in order to know what you want from a relationship and
the skills to accomplish a healthy relationship.

Plan for a Healthy Relationship
1. Top 3 characteristics I will want in healthy relationship?
2. What are 2 characteristics I know I don’t want in a relationship?
3. What are 3 fun things to do with someone on a date?
4. What are 3 behaviors a teen couple to do to show their family their relationship is healthy?
5. What are 3 behaviors a teen couple could avoid to ensure their relationship stays healthy?
6. If a partner wanted someone to do something they weren’t comfortable with they could take
the following actions:

GOALS FOR LESSON THREE
• IDENTIFY POSITIVE OUTCOMES OF ABSTINENCE
• BRAINSTORM OBSTACLES TO ABSTINENCE
• PLAN APPROACHES TO DEALING WITH THESE OBSTACLES (PEER PRESSURE,
ALCOHOL, ETC.)

ABSTINENCE:
Different people might have their own definition of abstinence, but for the purposes of this
class, abstinence is defined as avoiding sexual behaviors that could lead to pregnancy or STI.
Abstinence is normal, common, acceptable, and available to anyone at any time for any
reason, even people who have already been sexually active.

What are your thoughts….
Why do you think it is healthy to delay or postpone sex?

Reasons to Choose Abstinence:
• To reach personal goals
• To avoid getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant
• To avoid getting or giving an STI or HIV
• To graduate from school and get a good job, without the pressures of
being a teen parent

What are three reasons why a teen might choose sexual
abstinence?
Remember the SEL skill of self awareness and reflect on your
own values around abstinence.

Abstinence is most effective when a person thinks about
the skills and strategies that help make abstinence
effective.
Abstinence Jar

SKILLS AND STRATEGIES FOR
EFFECTIVE ABSTINENCE:
• Assertiveness
• Communication
• Standing up to peer pressure
• Self-control
• Self-esteem
• Shared values
• Dedication to achieving goals
• Knowing personal values
• Support from friends, family, teachers,
etc.
• Having goals
• Understanding the consequences of not
abstaining
• Respect for self and others
• Self-knowledge (about risks)
• Responsibility
• Trust
• honesty

What would happen if a person had all skills but one?
For example, what would happen if you took assertiveness from the list.
Could removing even just one skill from the list make abstinence not as effective?
What if two partners had different ideas of what abstinence means?
Can you think of any situations in a teens life that would make abstinence difficult to
achieve?

Abstinence Quiz: True or False
1. Abstinence means never having sex.*
False: Abstinence means to not do something. It can refer to smoking, doing drugs or drinking.
When it comes to sexual activity, abstinence or postponement is a choice.
2. Once people choose to have sex, abstinence is not a choice for them anymore.*
False: Anyone, no matter how old or young, can decide to abstain from, or postpone sex, even if
that person has had sex before.
3. If teens have strong values, they should have no trouble sticking with a decision to abstain
from sex.*
False: Peer pressure and other outside influences can pose great challenges to decision making.
Being clear about their values can help teens make healthy decisions, but they also need to have
a plan for facing any challenges that may arise.
4. Knowing how to communicate effectively is a good way to help avoid sexual activity that a
person isn’t ready for.*
True: Positive and effective communication skills, both verbal and nonverbal are a very good way
to help people stay firm in their decisions.

Abstinence Quiz: True or False
5. TV shows have rules against references to sexual intercourse during prime time.*
False: According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, more than 75% of prime time television
programs contain sexual content. Only 14% of these show people discussing the risks or
responsibilities of sexual activity.
6. The only risk of having sex before you are ready is getting pregnant or getting someone
pregnant.*
False: Pregnancy is one risk of unprotected intercourse between a male and female. STIs are
another risk of sexual activity between partners or either sex. In addition, any kind of sexual
activity that a person is not ready for can pose emotional risks.
7. Abstinence is the healthiest choice for middle school students.*
True: Deciding to postpone or abstain from sex is considered by many to be the healthiest choice
for most teens. Abstinence can protect them from unwanted outcomes such as STIs, unplanned
pregnancy, and negative emotional consequences.

Lets Process…..
1. How does this lesson affect the way you look at abstinence?
2. A person needs many different skills to be successful in abstinence. What other things in life
require a similar strategy for success?
3. If people practice abstinence only sometimes, what else can they do to keep themselves safe
and meet their life goals? (Have a backup method—wear a condom and /or use a hormonal
method of birth control consistently and correctly to avoid getting pregnant or contracting an
STI.)
4. Name any connections you can see between planning for abstinence, self-awareness and
self-management. (Refer to SEL skill poster)

GOALS FOR LESSON FOUR
• NAME TWO WAYS TO REDUCE THE RISKS OF PREGNANCY AND STIS.
• DEMONSTRATE KNOWLEDGE OF AT LEAST ONE FORM OF CONTRACEPTION,
INCLUDING HOW TO ACCESS IT.
• EVALUATE REASONS PEOPLE USE OR DON’T USE METHODS TO REDUCE THE RISKS IF
THEY CHOOSE TO PARTICIPATE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY AND DISCUSS CONSEQUENCES.

The best way to stay protected is by using responsible decision making (making healthy
choices) and relationship skills (communicating with and respecting one’s partner).
It’s important for people to check in with their own values and boundaries (self-awareness)
and also to be aware of how other people feel about these things (social awareness).
When situations get difficult, people may need to use self-management to help them stick to
their decisions.

Why is it important for someone your age to know this information?
Which methods of protection do you think are popular among teens? Why do you
think that is?

What questions should a person ask themselves before
they decide to participate in sexual activity?
1. Do I have information about, and access to, methods that
can reduce my risk of getting pregnant or getting someone
else pregnant?
2. Do I know how to reduce the risk of getting sexually
transmitted infections?
3. Am I emotionally ready to have sex?

METHODS TO REDUCE THE RISK
To reduce the risk of unplanned pregnancy, there are numerous forms of hormonal birth
control that a doctor can prescribe. There are also several over-the-counter products that
range in effectiveness.
To reduce the risk of STIs and unplanned pregnancy a latex condom is the most
effective.
A person who has decided to engage in sexual activity should discuss methods with their
parent or caring adult.

CONDOM USE DO AND DON’T
DO……
• Read all the information on the package. Know what you are using.
• Check the expiration date on the package. If it is expired it should be thrown away.
• Check package for rips, tears, and holes.
• Condoms should be latex or polyurethane. Animal skin condoms do not reduce the risk of
STIs.
• Only water-based lubricants should be used with a condom.
DON’T…..
• Use two condoms at once!
• Store condoms in a hot place such as a vehicle. If stored in a wallet it should be replaced
regularly.
• Use oil based lubricants. They negatively affect a condom and can cause it to rip or tear.
• Do not reuse condoms.

Quiz:
1. What is the only protection method that is 100% effective, if practiced
perfectly?*
Abstinence
2. What does it mean to use a method perfectly?*
The method is used consistently and correctly every single time.

GOALS FOR LESSON FIVE
• IDENTIFY FEELINGS ATTACHED TO STI EXPOSURE
• ANALYZE HOW FEELINGS AFFECT SUBSEQUENT BEHAVIOR
• NAME TWO BEHAVIORS IN EACH CATEGORY OF RISK
• NAME HIGHEST-RISK BEHAVIORS
• NAME WAYS TO REDUCE RISK
• IDENTIFY A RESOURCE FOR SUPPORT AND TESTING

SWEETLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS

Directions:
1. Each of you, including myself will get a piece of candy and an index card. Please
don’t eat the candy until after the activity is over.
2. Go around the room and introduce yourself to three people. As part of the
introduction you may trade candies with the person you are introducing yourself
to, then sign their index cards.
3. When you finish return to your seat.

How many of you have a green candy, raise your hand.
The green candies represent an STI. How many of you with green
candies never had direct contact with the teacher?
How did those green candies get from the teachers bag to yours?

• How did it feel to find a green candy once you knew what it meant?
• How can you know if someone has an STI?
• Is it possible for someone to have an STI, including HIV, but not know it?
• How would you handle this situation with your current partner? Would you tell? How would this feel?
• In our simulation, I chose to tell my partners. What might be some reasons people might choose not to tell their
partners?
• What would have been the result of this activity if you had refused to share your candy with anyone? (would not risk
getting green candies; simulates choosing abstinence.)
• People won’t always tell past or current partners that they have an STI. Some might have a STI but not even know
it. What do these facts mean for you? Knowing this, how can you keep yourselves safe?

• Let’s say I went to the clinic and saw the doctor, and the doctor told me I’ve been diagnosed with
_______________, do you know what this STI is?
• What would I want to know about this particular STI?
• What would you recommend I do in this situation?
• Would I want anyone to know that I have an STI? Is there anyone I need to tell? Should a
person diagnosed with an STI tell current partner(s)?
• How do you think I might feel telling my partner?
• Is it possible a person diagnosed with an STI wouldn’t tell a partner? Why?
• If some people don’t tell their partners, or don’t even know they have STIs, how might that affect
sexually active people?

MULTIPLE PARTNERS AND OTHER RISK FACTORS

STI Facts
• 37.7% of sexually active teenage girls have at least one STI.
• Half of new STI transmission each year affect young people ages 15-24
• The use of dental dams and latex condoms can reduce the risk of STI
transmission during oral sex.

Ways to reduce risk:
Most sexual activity carries some risk for STI, but there are some much riskier behaviors. Having
multiple partner during the same time period is an example of behavior that puts people at high risk
for getting an STI, including HIV. What are some other risk factors that you can think of?
1. Being under the influence of alcohol or other drugs
2. Feeling pressure from peers/partner
3. Dating an older partner
4. Not comfortable asserting sexual boundaries
In these situations it can be much harder for people to remain abstinent or protect themselves and
their partners from getting STIs, including HIV.

1. Is getting an STI inevitable?
2. Will everyone who has sex contract an STI?
3. Is there a way to avoid contracting an STI?
• STIs are preventable. They are 100% preventable by practicing abstinence.

The only way to find out for sure if a person has an STI is to be tested.
Many places offer free and confidential testing for youth, and there are rapid HIV
tests that give results within 15 minutes.

Lets Process…..
1. When are people at the most risk for STI transmission?
Any time body fluids are exchanged or through skin to skin contact during sexual activity.
2.What can people do to reduce their risk?
The only 100% effective method is abstinence. A latex barrier can reduce the risk if used
consistently and correctly but is not 100% effective
3.What can people do if they have engaged in risky behavior?
It is never too late to make the decision to be abstinent.
4. Where can people who want to get tested go?
A doctors office or local Health Clinic.

Although HIV has no cure and a difficult treatment plan, it’s still an STI.
What are some of the body fluids that can transmit HIV?
1. Blood
2. Ejaculate and pre-ejaculate
3. Vaginal/Cervical fluid
4. Breast milk
HIV cannot be transmitted through handshakes, hugs, or any other
casual contact. Exchange of one of these types of fluid has to be
present.

HIV Fact
The stat we gave last year…..
According to the CDC, 29% of HIV diagnosed in 2007
were of people between age 13 and 29
The newest stats……
According to the CDC, 41% of HIV diagnosed in 2015
were of people between age 13 and 29

GOALS FOR LESSON SIX

GOALS FOR LESSON SEVEN
• MODEL, REHEARSE AND DEMONSTRATE REFUSAL SKILLS.
• DISCUSS FEELINGS OF CHARACTERS IN SCENARIOS AND CHALLENGES
TO COMMUNICATION

REVIEW COMMUNICATION, REFUSALAND NEGOTIATION
SKILLS

How to Refuse and Be Respected
• You can say NO without making an excuse
• Speak for yourself, don’t try to guess what someone else is thinking
• Speak from your heart and honor your values
• Be clear. Your words and tone should be consistent
• Repeat the message if you need to.
• Suggest doing something else-an alternative activity idea.
• Let the other person know if you feel disrespected.
• Be assertive, not aggressive. Avoid physical contact. Leave the situation if you need to
• Keep a serious face and use assertive body language.
• Be willing to accept NO and respect the other person’s decision.

How to Refuse and Be Respected
• Count how many times you said NO today. Were any fo those Nos more difficult to say
than others? Why?
• What makes saying NO easy and when might it be more difficult?
• What was the most difficult NO you’ve ever had to say to anyone?
• What can make it difficult for a person to say NO to sexual pressure?
• What might make it easier to say NO to sexual pressure?

GOALS FOR LESSON EIGHT

GOALS FOR LESSON EIGHT
• CONSIDER GOALS FOR THE FUTURE
• DESCRIBE HOW SEXUAL DECISION MAKING CAN CREATED AN UNPLANNED
SITUATION THAT AFFECTS FUTURE GOALS.

“WHO WILL I BECOME?” BRAINSTORM

Who Will I Become
What would YOU like to have, to do or to have done in 5 to 8 years?

Lets Process…..
1. Name some feeling you had while thinking about 5 years from now.
2. How does setting goals for yourself affect your future?
3. Name sometimes in your life when you might face big changes. How might you
apply this activity to your life in the future?

Scenario
You fooled around a bit, and it was fun. You both were getting
really into it, so you went a little further. You ended up doing a lot
more than you were comfortable with, and now you feel bad
about it. You wish you had stood your ground and said NO. The
next day you find out that the person you fooled around with has
told everyone in school what you did together.

Lets Process…..
1. What are the possible physical and emotional consequences (positive and
negative) of this scenario?
2. What were some of the behaviors that could have led to this scenario taking
place?
3. What, if anything, could have been done to prevent the scenario? (if the scenario
seems healthy, explain what might have occurred to lead to those healthy
decisions.)
4. What could the two people involved in this scenario say to one another to make
or keep the scenario healthy?
5. Consider this for yourself: if this situation happened to you (or if you were
involved), could it affect your goals for the future? How? Think through both
positive and negative effects.

GOALS FOR LESSON NINE
• REVIEW
• SEXUALITY IN THE MEDIA

What is media?
How does it affect you?

What is the message?
• This cologne advertisement shows that if guys use this cologne, girls and women will love
them. Moreover, it also shows that girls will obey guys
Who is the target audience?
• Young males
Do you think this message will be effective for the target audience?

Different people may have different limits for what they consider acceptable. Take a few
minutes to consider each of these questions. You will not be asked to share your answers:
• How can I respect myself and others when it comes to sexual decisions?
• What are my personal limits when it comes to sexual activity?
• What are some situation that might challenge those limits?
• How can I address those challenges and make sure my limits are respected by myself
and others?

What have we learned?
1. One fact I leaned about sex and sexuality is…
2. One value about sex and sexuality I have is…
3. One thing I still wonder about the topic of sex and sexuality is…
4. One thing I want my parent to understand about my feelings on this topic is…
5. One thing that’s working in my relationship with my parent or trusted adult about this
topic is…
6. One of the main messages I want to share with my parent or trusted adult about this
topic is…

Post Survey…..
Directions to complete the Survey will be read to you. When you have completed the survey, raise your hand
and someone will retrieve it from you.

Get Real 8th Grade

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Editor's Notes