InnerSpace / Able Health Communication Workshop
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This document discusses effective communication and feedback. It introduces a model called "The Net" which describes three realities of communication: intent, impact, and behavior. It emphasizes focusing feedback on specific, observable behaviors and describing the impact on you rather than making judgments. Examples are provided of giving effective feedback by stating the behavior, your feelings, and your perspective. The benefits of self-disclosure and vulnerability in communication are discussed. Guidelines are provided for giving feedback, including checking in, focusing on goals and intentions, and making requests for change rather than demands. Receiving feedback effectively includes looking for truths and asking questions to feel heard. The document concludes with topics that are appropriate for feedback.
![Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityHow to Give Effective Feedback
• Focus on specific, observable behavior
When you do [x]…
• Describe the impact of that behavior on you
I feel [y]…
• Ask about the other person’s motives or
intentions
Can you tell me what’s going on for you?
Stay on your side of the net!](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/communicationworkshopablehealthapr2016contentonly-160422181654/85/InnerSpace-Able-Health-Communication-Workshop-16-320.jpg)
![Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityHow to Give Effective Feedback
When you do [x]…
I feel [y == emotion] that / like
And my story is [z].
Can you tell me what’s going on for you?](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/communicationworkshopablehealthapr2016contentonly-160422181654/85/InnerSpace-Able-Health-Communication-Workshop-19-320.jpg)
![Photo by Ana Karenina [link]
1:1 Feedback](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/communicationworkshopablehealthapr2016contentonly-160422181654/85/InnerSpace-Able-Health-Communication-Workshop-20-320.jpg)
![Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityLast Reminder
Stay on your side of the net:
When you do [x]…
I feel [y]…
And my story is [z].
Can you tell me what’s going on for you?
Use the Vocabulary of Emotions.](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/communicationworkshopablehealthapr2016contentonly-160422181654/85/InnerSpace-Able-Health-Communication-Workshop-24-320.jpg)
InnerSpace / Able Health Communication Workshop
- 1. Communication Workshop Semira Rahemtulla April 18, 2016
- 2. Why are we doing this?
- 3. One Big Idea
- 4. INTENT Needs Motives Stories Reality #2 IMPACT Assumptions Feelings Responses Reality #3 3 Realities (The “Net” Model) The Net BEHAVIOR Verbal Non-Verbal Reality #1 Shared
- 5. Feelings & Emotions – Why??Feelings & Emotions – Why??
- 6. Self-Disclosure Will I be less liked, respected, influential (leader-like)? Is it relevant? Will it further the discussion – the relationship? Will others use this information against me? How will others see/assess/ judge me? “What in my ‘bubble’ should I share?” Self-Disclosure
- 7. “ VULNERABILITY IS THE BIRTHPLACE OF CONNECTION. ” BRENÉ BROWN
- 8. Authentic Leaders “The single factor distinguishing top quartile managers from bottom quartile managers was strength of affection.” --“Encouraging the Heart: A Leader’s Guide to Recognizing and Rewarding Others”, Kouzes & Posner Authentic Leaders
- 10. #1 Factor for Happiness on the Job: Feeling appreciated -- 2014 BCG/The Network survey of 200K employees
- 11. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityBuilding a culture of appreciation 1. Create a space for it 2. Lead by example
- 12. Photo:RobbieGrubbs Can I give you some feedback?
- 13. Social situations ≈ Physical threats Threat Response
- 14. So… how do we communicate feedback while minimizing defensiveness?
- 15. INTENT Needs Motives Stories Reality #2 IMPACT Assumptions Feelings Responses Reality #3 3 Realities (The “Net” Model) The Net BEHAVIOR Verbal Non-Verbal Reality #1 Shared
- 16. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityHow to Give Effective Feedback • Focus on specific, observable behavior When you do [x]… • Describe the impact of that behavior on you I feel [y]… • Ask about the other person’s motives or intentions Can you tell me what’s going on for you? Stay on your side of the net!
- 17. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityLet’s try some examples… 1. Steve, you clearly don’t care about this presentation. 2. Steve, I noticed that you are looking at your phone. You are clearly bored with this presentation. 3. Steve, I noticed that you are looking at your phone. I am feeling anxious about what message that might send to others in the room.
- 18. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityLet’s try another example… 1. You’re not very approachable. 2. When I asked you for time off last week, you didn’t respond very well. You’re not very approachable. 3. When I asked you for time off last week and you said “oh man, the team really needs you right now,” I felt guilty for asking, even though that time off is important to me. And I’ve noticed I’m more hesitant now to approach you with questions or requests.
- 19. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityHow to Give Effective Feedback When you do [x]… I feel [y == emotion] that / like And my story is [z]. Can you tell me what’s going on for you?
- 20. Photo by Ana Karenina [link] 1:1 Feedback
- 21. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityThe Setup 1. Check in – “Is now a good time?” 2. Soft Start – Do not use praise to buffer criticism (“The Sandwich”) – Do emphasize mutual goals & positive intent: “My intention is…… / This matters to me because…”
- 22. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityReceiving Feedback • Look for “Grains of Truth” – Goal is understanding, not winning • Help the other person feel heard – Ask clarifying questions • Acknowledge your feelings – Manage your own defensiveness: “Affect Labeling” – Disclose your reactions • Gift mentality: Say “Thank you!”
- 23. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityEnd with Agreements • Make requests – What are we going to try / do differently going forward? • Be specific • Discuss the error case – What can we do if someone doesn’t do their part of the agreement?
- 24. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilityLast Reminder Stay on your side of the net: When you do [x]… I feel [y]… And my story is [z]. Can you tell me what’s going on for you? Use the Vocabulary of Emotions.
- 25. Benefits of Self-Disclosure / VulnerabilitySuggested Topics For Feedback Work Product – Timeliness, quality, quantity, focus area Communication & Management – Too much/little – Choice of format – Email etiquette – Language choices, communication style with others – Transparency of project status, hiring/firing/promotions Role Modeling & Presence – What energy do you feel from this person? – How do they impact others? – What do they model well? – Anything you worry about? – Arrival/departure times – How they speak/listen/act/dress
- 26. Thanks, good-bye, and stay on your side of the net