How to remove negative memories by Matt Kendall
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This document discusses removing negative memories through techniques like Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT). It begins by introducing the author, Matt Kendall, and his background in neuro-linguistic programming and hypnotism. It then discusses different types of memory and common myths. It explains how early experiences shape belief systems and problems memories can cause. Various techniques are presented for changing memory structure and reducing panic, including altering submodalities, adding time, and mindfulness. The goal is to process past experiences to gain control over thoughts and feelings in the present.
How to remove negative memories by Matt Kendall
- 2. Should You Remove Negative Memories? This was recently debated on TV By the leading brightest minds in the industry Thought leaders Visionaries Top minds
- 3. What we are covering What memory is and the different types Common myths and misunderstandings How experience creates belief systems Problems memories create in the present Mind tricks Memory and time perception Changing the structure of memories Reducing panic IEMT and removing memories
- 4. My Background First came across NLP and Hypnosis in 2002 Met a hypnotist and went for several sessions Trained with many different people and institutions In 2007 I came across IEMT
- 5. Client Work Specialise in social anxiety Help people to recover from trauma Removing and reprocessing past experiences, to give people great control over the present My main focus is now training therapists, coaches and people who just want to work on themselves, in IEMT (Integral Eye Movement Therapy)
- 6. So why I Do I These Talks? Because people are in pain, and they don’t have to be By learning and applying these techniques, it can radically improve your quality of life That improves the lives of people around you Put you into a position of control
- 7. Memory – Short and Long Term
- 9. Procedural Memory Procedural memory is a part of the long- term memory that is responsible for knowing how to do things, also known as motor skills. As the name implies, procedural memory stores information on how to perform certain procedures, such as walking, talking and riding a bike This form of memory can not be consciously recalled
- 10. Semantic Memory Semantic memory refers to a portion of long- term memory that processes ideas and concepts that are not drawn from personal experience. Semantic memory includes things that are common knowledge, such as the names of colours, the sounds of letters, the capitals of countries and other basic facts acquired over a lifetime This type of memory can be consciously recalled, but without emotional attachment
- 11. Episodic Memory Episodic memory is the memory of autobiographical events (times, places, associated emotions, and other contextual who, what, when, where, why knowledge) It is the collection of past personal experiences that occurred at a particular time and place. These memories can be consciously recalled, with emotional connection. These cause belief systems, fears, phobias et
- 12. Common Myths About Memory We record everything like a blackbox recorder (we don’t)
- 13. Common Myths About Memory That memory is factually correct (it isn’t. it is simply a subjective experience) Eyes only do 10% of seeing, the rest is made up by the brain.
- 14. Common Myths About Memory That traumatising memories can not be changed (they can) Today I will show you a number of exercises that will demonstrate this.
- 15. So Why Do We Have Memory? To keep us alive and away from danger We remember what we have learned, especially if it is a threat to our safety The brain is a streamlined processor, without remembering how to feel and act, it would just be to much information to process
- 16. Early Development Our formative years are approximately 4-12 years old We experience situations both directly and indirectly This lays the basis of our beliefs and character
- 19. Problems in the Present What you learned as a child was relevant when you were young, however not so much now. Unless updated, memories stay the same as the time of encoding. You want to do something but you get a gut reaction or negative feelings, although you know it is nonsense These irrational fears are cognitive dissonance What’s wrong with me? It causes massive frustration
- 20. Public Speaking
- 21. Stimulus - You are Giving a Presentation
- 23. Solutions Counselling to try and understand the issue CBT to reinterpret what is being processed Exposure therapy to the stimuli Alcohol and drugs for courage Intervention work including NLP, Hypnosis and IEMT Training in the skill set
- 24. Mind Tricks Is seeing really believing? What if we see things incorrectly Or if we all see things differently? We are seeing our experiences, not just what is there
- 25. Mind Tricks
- 26. Mind Tricks
- 27. Mind Tricks
- 28. Mind Tricks
- 29. Memory and Time
- 30. Is Time Moving More Quickly? Three theories are; David Icke says “We are living in a vortex that is controlled by our reptilian overlords and it is simply speeding up” That we review time at certain points and see a year as a percentage We are simply creating less long term memories as we age
- 31. Is Time Moving More Quickly? These songs are 20 years old in 2018; “Hit me Baby one more time” – Britney Spears "MMMbop" - Hanson "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" - Backstreet Boys "I'll Be Missing You" - Puff Daddy and Faith Evans ft. 112 "Around the World" - Daft Punk
- 32. Feel Old Yet?
- 33. A year as a % When you are 10, 1 year is 10% of your life When you are 50, 1 year is 2% of your life This has been the theory for a long time, however more recent research indicates that time is just a perception and it is measured in long term memories that have been created.
- 34. Long Term Memory Creation Creating a long term memory is a chemical process They are more likely to occur when there is high levels of emotion and has novelty value (something different than normal) both positive and negative Wedding day, being mugged, getting a job, being fired, losing your virginity, first time you were in love etc
- 35. Going On Holiday
- 36. Going On Holiday Booking it Packing Traveling to the airport Security and customs Flying out there Arriving in a foreign airport Getting to your hotel Unpacking Getting on the local cocktails
- 37. Make Time Seem Longer
- 38. Make Time Seem Longer
- 40. Star Wars NO, I am your father!
- 41. Tom Cruise in Risky Business
- 42. Pink Shirt, NO sunglasses
- 43. What Causes This? According to the internet.. Time travellers who have come back and altered things Parallel universes and quantum leaping Or just because our brains remember things incorrectly
- 44. What Does All This Mean? If our memories are not accurate And we are the people we are because of our memories Then we can consciously access these life defining moments and reprocess them Which allows us to make decisions in the present based on evidence, not emotion
- 45. You are 180 Degrees Out From my experience I have found that a lot of people are 180 degrees out when trying to solve problems People who live in the past People who live in the future People who are trying hard to be “present” All are escapism
- 46. Good Mental Health I personally believe the best way to good mental health is... To actively work on past negative memories and emotions Whilst constantly adding new long term memories. Create and act on future plans Carefully monitor yourself so you can measure the changes
- 47. What is a Memory? Kinesthetic Information
- 48. Submodalities Is the picture black and white or colour? Is the picture near or far? Is the picture 2D or 3D? Is it a still picture or a movie? Is it associated (you see it through your own eyes) or dissociated (you see yourself in the picture? Is it focussed or defocussed? Is it bright or dim? Is it in the centre of your field of vision or off to one side? Is it clear or grainy? Is it solid or transparent? Is it framed or panoramic?
- 49. Exercise Part 1 Work with someone and ask them to think of a negative memory. Ask them; Is it a picture or a movie? Does it have sound? It is subjective or objective? Is it in focus? Out of 10, how strong is the emotion?
- 50. Exercise Part 2 Now begin to change the submodalities. Picture or a movie? Change it Does it have sound? Make it quieter or louder It is subjective or objective? Change it Is it in focus? Change it Out of 10, how strong is the emotion? Observe
- 51. Submodality Work If your memory is a movie, associated, bright, close and with sound It will have a much higher emotional impact (0/10) At home you can experiment with your own submodalities to lessen the emotional impact Make sure to record things and what progress you make
- 52. Ruminating Memory Memories that we ruminate tend to start in the same place, build up to a climax and then stop. Then then loop and start at the same point again. Thinking about something does not help! People often go “internal” and problems worsen. Instead, we need to create an exit!
- 53. From This
- 54. To This
- 55. We Achieve This by Adding Time With a partner, ask them if they ruminate on a memory Asked them what happened afterwards in time blocks Keep adding time and content until you reach the present day Then ask when they think of the memory now, what is it like?
- 56. Time Jumps Present Day Memory Day Week Month Year Year Year
- 57. Changing Memory Every time you access a memory, it changes it slightly The mood or state that you are in when you access it, will have a large impact By adding in time and/or content, it changes how it is accessed (like scratching a CD) One simple trick is to hold a negative memory and start moving, dancing or listening to music
- 58. Panic Attacks Often we will experience a negative memory or anxiety when we are out These can spiral into panic attacks Panic attacks are horrible, I have had several myself. People then start to worry about having panic attacks, which is a problem in itself
- 59. Reduce Panic – Mindfulness One thing you can do, is to practice mindfulness. Simply start saying what is around you. Bring your attention outwards, instead of inwards
- 60. Reduce Panic – Physical Also create physical sensation. Simple technique is to rub your toes inside your shoes Daily exercise, reduce caffeine, less screen time Another technique is to tap out the rhythm of the anxiety, then consciously lower it
- 61. Reduce Panic – Breathing The best way to control anxiety is to control your breathing 4 – 6 – 8 works well, but doing this can also cause anxiety What I do is expel all the air out of my lungs for as long as I can. I do this 6 times.
- 62. Therapy vs Changework You can not therapy your way out of a problem, it also takes action Often counselling/talking therapy fails to produce results as where the problem is located, it is in a different place to where your speech centres are. People can find it easier to express pain through art, music and singing rather than talking about it Talking about issues can also cause re-traumatisation
- 63. How IEMT Works Emotional imprinting occurs when a person lays down a new kinesthetic response to an experience. This teaches the person how to feel about certain things. For example, how many of us when told by the boss that he'd "like a word" in his office immediately feel like a school child about to be told off. This is an emotional Imprint in action. IEMT addresses and resolves the question, "how did this person learn to feel this way about this thing?"
- 64. Changing Perception & IEMT IEMT allows the client to observe life defining moments from the perspective of who they are today The emotional connection, significance and visual recall all tend to diminish and have predictable outcomes.
- 65. Using the Eyes to Access the Brain Integral Eye Movement Technique (IEMT) developed following the observation of a number of neurological phenomena that occur during the eye movements at the point that the problematic imagery changed its emotional coding.
- 66. Exercise – Memory 1 With a partner, ask them if they have a negative memory Ask them for a label e.g. The school yard Ask if it is a picture or a movie Ask if it is a subjective or objective How clear and in focus is it Out of 10, how strong is the emotion
- 67. Hold the Memory, Move the Eyes 6 6 6
- 68. Predictable Outcomes The memory is harder to retrieve Movies turn into a picture, or at least broken up Pictures are harder to get, seem faded out The memory seems further away The emotion level drops The memory loses significance
- 69. Exercise – Memory 2 Ask them for a label e.g. The school yard Ask if it is a picture or a movie Ask if it is a subjective or objective How clear and in focus is it Out of 10, how strong is the emotion Move the eyes Recalibrate Move the eyes again
- 70. Finding the Imprint IEMT does NOT work on emotion It does however use emotion to locate the imprint, which you then use the IEMT process on This can be used for anticipatory events, such as job interviews, presentations, going on a date etc
- 71. Exercise With a partner, ask; Do you have an upcoming event that you are anxious or concerned about? How strong is the emotion when you think of it? How familiar is this feeling? When was the first time you can remember feeling this way? Allow them to locate the memory, then move the eyes
- 72. Result When you now think of the upcoming event It should seem less scary More manageable You should be able to think about what you can do And it should be less overwhelming
- 73. Can I Do This on Myself? Yes, sort of First of work through the questions, either for a single negative memory or to locate the imprint Hold your jaw, move your eyes Recalibrate Do NOT do it into a mirror. You will trip yourself out!
- 74. Why I Love IEMT Having used different therapy models, I just love the way IEMT works My clients say it is like doing hundreds of hours of therapy in literally seconds It is content free, which means you DO NOT talk about the content, just the structure It works with most of the people, most of the time
- 75. IEMT Training I run 2-3 trainings per year in London I get 3 types of people attending; Those who want to get into therapy Those who are therapists and want to add to their skills Those who just want to work on themselves It is a 2 day training, the next one will probably be May 2018
- 76. Thank you Thank you for your time I hope you enjoyed the talk and got some useful information I hope to see you again for future talks and presentations
- 77. Get the Slides Messenger Chatbot www.removenegativememories.com Email opt in www.removenegativememories.co.uk