Script - darft
- 1. Initial Draft Script Development By Adam Kalabiska A Level Media Studies
- 2. The initial problem of the screenplay comes in the form of character development. As this is very much a character study, focused heavily on putting the audience into the shoes of the main character, it is crucial for this aspect of the film to be communicated across effectively. There is a lack of action from the character that would inform us of any deeper motivations and goals, whether they are inner or outer. An additional scene of would not only help with that, but also balance out the tempo and progression of scenes, as in it’s current state the transitions between individual scenes are very sudden. In certain instances, that is intentional, as it better portrays the main character’s psychological state of mind. Nevertheless, that’s something that can get easily jarring and turns into factors that bring nothing to the story nor character, besides simply being a distraction. ACTION IS CHARACTER. Film is behaviour. We can know a lot about characters by how they react and behave, in certain situations. Pictures, or images, reveal different aspects of character… Character is expressed in who they are, by their actions, reactions and creative choices. Characterisation, on the other hand, is expressed in their taste and how they look at the world. - Syd Field (taken from the book “Screenplay, The Foundations of Screenwriting”)
- 3. As previously mentioned, the structure of the narrative feels very fragmented. This results in the film not flowing as well and instead seeming as individual scenes, the juxtaposition of which not necessarily being motivated by any beat or otherwise relevant theme present in the story. The best way of approaching the solution to this problem, in my opinion at least, is to create an outline of all the key themes being explored and see if there’s any sort of correlation to be found anywhere. The implementation of flashbacks is one that I’ve personally never been a fan of, as it feels lazy and relatively unoriginal. For that reason I’ve made the decision to instead replace them with surreal vision that the character has. They serve the exact same purpose, and though there may those who would say that the sense of intimacy that flashbacks otherwise bring with themselves are lost, I’d argue that this digs deeper into the human psyche. Managing to tap into the subconscious part of our mind, showing our deepest, darkest and yet purest thoughts It’s placement there makes the most sense structure wise, but most importantly needs to introduce a keep piece of information which will play a more important role later on. Then again the build of tension that this provides could begin earlier on.
- 4. The scene that ties up the entire film in a circular narrative structure doesn’t make sense as it lacks piece of information that hasn’t been properly introduced in a previous scene. Nevertheless, even without this, it manages to bring the story full circle and answers the question of how the lead character ended up in this situation. It could additionally be argued that there is a lack of motive present in the film, causing the it the plot to feel aimless. As much as this may be true, it’s certainly not something I want go back on completely and instead explore that constant search for something that we all experience at one point or another in our lives. More specifically, attempting to find the meaning not of not on only the world and yourself, but also your place of belonging. The sense of being lost is otherwise one that should echo through the film much more, primarily through composition and lighting. The final scene would work better and pack much stronger of a punch if only the emotional connection, or in this case detachment, were built up more effectively throughout. As the idea of him being so hopeless that even after his presumed death, he is willing to die a second time for her, is very profound.