Style, Composition, and Conventions

3. Style, Composition, Conventions
A. Formality  Vocabulary (Verbs)
According to some biologists, coming up with clear
proof of the decreasing number of frogs has been
difficult.
Better
According to some biologists, offering clear
proof of the decreasing number of frogs has been
difficult.
Adapted from Swales and Feak, 2004; Hofmann, 2010

A. Formality Vocabulary (Other Parts of Speech)
In Hong Kong there is one cell phone for just about/nearly
every two people.
There has been a lot of/considerable interest in how
background sounds affect an individuals ability to
concentrate.

I. Avoid contractions.
Export figures won’t improve until the economy is stronger.
Better
Export figures will not improve until…
A. Formality Non-vocabulary

II. Avoid “run-on” expressions (“and so forth”, “etc.”)
These semiconductors can be used in robots,
CD players, etc.
Better
These semiconductors can be used in robots,
CD players, and other electronic devices.

III. Avoid addressing the reader as “you.”
You can see the results in Table 1.
Better
The results can be seen in Table 1.
3.Style, Composition, Conventions

IV. Limit the use of direct questions.
What can be done to lower costs?
Better
It is necessary to consider how costs may be
lowered.

A. Formality
1. Brought on  caused
2. Looking into  investigating
3. Figure out  determine
4. Come up with  determined
5. Get rid of  eliminate
6. Gone up  increased
7. Keep up  maintain
8. Gone down  decreased

A. Formality
A.
1. Integral part
2. Nearly
3. Considerable
4. Obtained
5. Increasing
B.
6. Gotten more  become
7. Do not have enough  lack the
8. Do not happen very often 
do not happen frequently
happen infrequently
9. Made bigger to make it easier 
increased to facilitate loading and unloading

B. Other Recommendations, Common Errors
I. Ambiguity—use the word “relatively” only when making explicit
comparisons.
Many of the animals living near deep-sea hydrothermal vents
are relatively large.
Animals living near deep-sea hydrothermal vents can exceed
lengths of 3 meters.
Many of the animals living near deep-sea hydrothermal vents
are large relative to their shallow-water counterparts.
Adapted from Pechenik, 2004

I. Ambiguity—use of the words “several” and “frequently” may also
be ambiguous.
The current remained increased for several hours.
The current remained increased for 6 hours.
Nests were observed frequently for signs of predation.
Nests were observed every 12 hours for signs of predation.
Adapted from Hofmann, 2010

II. Say exactly what you mean (precision).
1. I saw three squid SCUBA diving last Thursday.
While SCUBA diving last Thursday, I saw three
squid.
2. From observations made in aquaria, feed rates of the
fish were highest at night.
Feeding rates of fish held in aquaria were highest
at night.

III. Commonly misused or misspelled words
“between” and “among”: Between usually refers to 2 things while among
usually refers to more than 2 things.
The 20 caterpillars were randomly distributed between
2 dishes.
The 20 caterpillars were randomly distributed among
8 dishes.
“its” and “it’s”: It’s is always an abbreviated form of “it is”. If “it is”
does not belong in your sentence, use its.
When treated with the chemical, the amoeba lost its
cilia.
It’s clear that the loss of cilia was caused by the treatment.

“effect” and “affect”: Effect is a noun that means an “outcome” or a “result.”
Affect is a verb that means “to influence.”
What is the effect of fuel oil on the feeding behavior
of birds?
How will fuel oil affect the feeding behavior of birds?
“i.e” and “e.g.”:
i.e. is an abbreviation for id est, which,in Latin
means “that is” or “that is to say”
Data on sex determination suggest that this species has only two sexual
genotypes, i.e., female (XX) and male (XY).
e.g. stands for exempli gratis which means “for example”
The larvae of several butterfly species (e.g., Papilio demodocus,
P. eurymedon, and Plieris napi) are able to feed on milkweed.

“Their” and “there”
Their: Possessive version of "they“
There: Indication of location
They’re looking for their books.
There is a boat in the harbor.
“Then” and “than”
Than: a conjunction, is used to compare things.
Then: an adverb, is used with descriptions of time.
Then, suddenly, Mr. Perez shouted, “I’m a better diver than you’ll
ever be!”
I think she looks scared, but then, what do I know?

“varying” and “various”: “Varying” means “changing over time”
or with changing circumstances, while “various” means “different.”
We also examined feeding rates among animals maintained at
varying temperatures.
“supernatant”
Proper use of commas in writing species names. Use commas
to set off formal species names only when the formal names are
preceded by specific common names.
Genomic DNA was extracted from embryos of the common blue
mussel, Mytilus edulis.

“which” and “that”:
“That” is used with restrictive phrases. Restrictive phrases are
phrases that are essential to the sentence.
“Which” is used with nonrestrictive phrases. Nonrestrictive phrases
are phrases that states non essential information. A phrase is
nonrestrictive phrase if it can be removed from the sentence.
Fish, which live at depths up to 1000 m, experience up to
101 atmospheres of pressure.
Fish that live at depths up to 1000 m experience up to
101 atmospheres of pressure.

“Data” = plural
The data are convincing.
These data show some surprising trends.
See Commonly Misused Words Appendix
Hofmann, 2010

IV. Avoid Sexism
Man is not the only host for this parasite.
Humans are not the only host for this parasite.

V. Don’t be teleological.
-Giraffes did not evolve long necks “in order to reach the
leaves of tall trees.”
-Birds did not evolve nest-building behavior “in order to
protect their young.”
-Insects did not evolve wings “in order to fly.”
-Plants did not evolve flowers “in order to attract bees
for pollination.”
VI. Beware of anthropomorphism.
The existence of sage in the harsh, dry climate of the
American plains results from Nature’s timeless
experimentation.

V. Omit unnecessary words and phrases
The sample size was not quite sufficiently large enough.
The sample size was not large enough.
High pH values have been observed to occur in areas
that have been determined to have few pine trees.
High pH values occur in areas with few pine trees.

V. Omit unnecessary words and phrases
-The following words usually add nothing to the text…
actually, basically, essentially, fairly, much, really, practically
quite, rather, several, very, virtually
-Other examples of redundancies…
(already) existing (basic) fundamentals cold (temperature)
(currently) underway each and every (choose one) estimated (roughly) at
First (and foremost) (main) essentials period (of time)
(still) persists at (the) present (time) blue (in color)
(completely) eliminate each (individual) (end) result
(final) outcome (future) plans never (before)
reason is (because) (true) facts

VI. Avoid noun clusters (“2 is company, 3 is a crowd”)
sparse matrix crystallization
crystallization by sparse matrix
cultured rat trachea endothelial cells
cultures of endothelial cells from the tracheas of rats
When the strips were exposed to Leishmaniasis diseased patients’ sera…
When the strips were exposed to the sera of patients with Leishmaniasis…

VII. Faulty Comparisons (compare “like” items)
Our conclusions are consistent with Smith et al.
Our conclusions are consistent with the conclusions of Smith et al.
OR
Our conclusions are consistent with those of Smith et al.

VII. Faulty Comparisons (than versus compared to)
Use “than” not “compared to” for comparative terms such as “smaller,”
“higher,” “lower,” “fewer,” “greater,” or “more,” etc.
We found more fertilized eggs in buffer A compared to buffer B.
We found more fertilized eggs in buffer A than in buffer B.

VIII. For interest, make the organism the agent of action (use the
active voice).
Studies on the rat show that the activity levels vary
predictably during the day (Hatter, 1976). {passive voice}
Rats vary their activity predictably during the day
(Hatter, 1976). {active voice}
Adapted from Pechenik, 2004, Hofmann, 2010

VIII. For interest, make the organism the agent of action (use the
active voice).
Cats are hated by dogs. {passive voice}
Dogs hate cats. {active voice}
No change in activity was observed. {passive voice}
We observed no change in activity. {active voice}
Adapted from Pechenik, 2004, Hofmann, 2010

I. Abbreviate units of measurement that are preceded by numbers.
no periods after symbols (may be periodical specific)
always use the same symbol for 1 or >1
1 mm, 50 mm
1 hr, 50 hr
1 g, 454 g
II. Usually underline or italicize genera/species names and most
times foreign words.
Homo sapiens (H. sapiens), in vitro, in vivo, in silico, et al.
III. Do not capitalize common names.
monarch butterfly, gorillas, fruit fly
C. Council of Science Editors (CSE Style Manual)

IV. Capitalize the names of taxonomic groups (clades) above
the level of genus, but not the names of taxonomic categories
themselves.
It has been reported that insects belong to the phylum
Arthropoda and the class Insecta.
It has been reported that insects are arthropods, members
of the phylum Arthropoda.

V. Numbers
Use numerals rather than words when writing about:
Counted or measured items 6 larvae, 18 seedlings
Percentages 25%
Decimals 1.5 times greater
Magnification 50X magnification
Ratios 3:1 ratio
Abbreviated Units of
measurement 0.7 g, 18 ml
Except…use words instead of numerals if beginning a sentence:
Twenty grams of NaCl were added to each of 4 flasks.
Thirty percent of the tadpoles metamorphosed by the end
of the week.

V. Numbers (cont.)
When 2 numbers are written next to each other without
being separated by words or a comma:
The sample was divided into five 25-seedling groups
Unless zero or one is followed by units of measure (e.g.
“I added 1 mg of sucrose…”), or is part of an equation
(e.g. “n=1”), or part of a series that includes larger numbers
(e.g. “1,8, and 25 individuals…”), use words rather than
numerals.
When writing about numbers smaller than zero, precede the
decimal point with a zero:
“…and we then added 0.25 g of NaCl to each flask.”

V. Numbers (cont.)
When using ordinal numbers (e.g. fifth, first), it is suggested
that words be used for the first 9 numbers (“the sixth replicate”)
and numerals for the others (“the 25th replicate).
However, you should be consistent within a series:
fifth, sixth ninth, 14th, 15th, and 16th samples…
Better: 5th, 6th, 9th, 14th, 15th, and 16th samples….
When writing about very large or small numbers use scientific
notation:
0.0056 g/ml Better: 5.6 X 10-3 g/ml
180,000 cells/ml Better: 1.8 X 105 cells/ml

V. Numbers (cont.)
Use commas only when numerals contain more than 4
numbers (?):
Only 1073 of the original 12,450 frog tadpoles died during the
study.

Style, Composition, and Conventions

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